#i talk

[sexygaywizard]

Transport yourself to the tropics with the captivating scent of Vanilla Papaya by Wizard

[romanoba]

also meine theorie ist ja, dass vladi und daniel heute auf das fünfjährige dfl-jubiläum angestoßen haben, daraus wurden neun bier, alle hemmungen sind weg und wir profitieren alle davon

[cult-of-lilith]

I need to jork my peanits to pictures and videos of my friends! I love my friends they are so sexy and I love my friends! What's the point of porn if it doesn't have friends in it?!?! I wish I had money. i would be paying all my friends for all the porn! I love my friends and they are so sexy!!

[her-impervious-condensation]

He's allergic don't be rude

why do they have the same hairline

[az-is-back]

actually the marvel transformers comics will have you end up shipping optimus prime with a character whose name is fucking. banging my head on the table and cringing as i say this. scorponok.

[average-acorn]

*sighs and blocks the "fawx & stallion spoilers" tag*

[sircolinmorgan]

It makes me laugh amid all this tumblr shutting down panic that I keep seeing posts telling everyone to back up their blogs. I’ve had this blog for 13 years and have well over 100,000 posts. I’d need a whole new computer if I planned on doing that lmao.

[infysreblogs]

I saw this guy as a rapist overseer Australian rancher in a movie with Nicole Kidman. Finally I could understand some of that manufactured movie Faramir

THE LORD OF THE RINGS THE TWO TOWERS

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[suitbf]

final succession scene

[plutoons]

come back my scarab. i miss yous

[shikai-the-storyteller]

A few notes about Realm SMP:

Tubbo hopes to have an event every week and ideally thinks this would be a 6 month server

There's a "level up" system but it will be tailored so people won't be left behind if they can't log in much

Armor and Combat is DND inspired, but it's not 100% accurate to DND

Tubbo looked at the 5 main MCYT communities he's been in / watched and that's the "pool" he chose people from

There's no plans for an in-game translator because it's expensive and also Tubbo "doesn't want to step on Quackity's toes" :(

Tubbo says he doesn't have a lot of Spanish-speaking streamers on his Discord friend list so there was a limit to how many people he could message, but he wants to add more people (he has 5 planned already)

Lore is dependent on what the people on the server do, he likes more freestyle flowing RP

There's no big team behind the server, it's just Tubbo and Tango helping him with some things he might not understand (however, he has a team he wants to use for the New Year Event he has in mind). He may look into getting some admins to help enforce rules

He made it so players can play Realm SMP with default Minecraft, he doesn't want to overwhelm people with too many mod downloads.

There is NO mod pack! Realm SMP is vanilla, it's just custom texture packs and plugins.

Tubbo says he's been overwhelmed by the amount of support it's received so far, but he's a bit nervous too

He says he doesn't have Missa added on Discord but he tried to contact him (?)

No set classes, but people can specify their skill points to unlock certain things on skill trees and build their own classes

There IS a life system (😰) but it's a bit different. There's 3 lives — if you die 3 times you're out, but it's only semi-hardcore because when you die, your stats are set to 0 and you're in spectator-mode, but players can craft an item to bring you back at 1 life and you get all your stats back.

There's no "downing" system, if you die you did, you can't be picked back up like on QSMP

No "keep inventory" on death

There's no limit to the amount of times you can be resurrected (thank god) Tubbo says it would kinda suck otherwise because then people would just get banned off the server at some point after dying x amount of times

The Nether IS enabled, the End isn't enabled yet because Tubbo wants to make a cool custom boss fight.

There will be proximity chat

Etoiles (in chat) asked about armor and Tubbo tells him he'a really glad Etoiles agreed to join, even though he wasn't planning on doing much Minecraft stuff anymore

Streamers can play off-stream

Tubbo says he has a "Badboyhalo Contingency Force" (it's Tubbo and Tango)

Tubbo says the Realm SMP concept came to him in a dream

Mob strength will scale as players "level up"

Deaths to a bug or glitch don't count, but all othet deaths will

Events won't be all PVP-based because he wants people to enjoy the events even if they aren't a huge Minecraft player

Two banned items: mending books and elytra, which will be tied to future events

Tubbo says he's happy to do anything himself, but if anyone really wants to be an admin, it'd be voluntary like a Twitch mod kind of deal since it's just him and Tango. (He already has a team of people he goes to for admin stuff, it wouldn't be random people being admins)

In the hour before the server launches, he'll be showing off server features

He reminded people in the player Discord it's just for fun, the life system isn't meant to be competitive and he doesn't want sweats to be dicks about it since not every player is a big Minecraft player

He has a 6 month timeframe in mind but it'll last as long as people want to play, if it fizzles out in a month then it fizzles out in a month, it lasts as long as people play it.

There will be NPCs "When he gets them sorted" but he's a one-man army doing everything

He reminds people to "manage their expectations" because he's only one guy – he can't do events like Purgatory like Quackity because he doesn't have a massive team like he did.

He says if his merch stuff goes well then maybe he can get 1 or 2 people to help with the Realm project

Tubbo is still answering Q&A stuff on stream right now, but these are the biggest things he's said so far!

[sexygaywizard]

FUUUUCCCKKKK THERE'S NO FAT BURGER ON THE EAST COAST

[layraket]

i love Four he's such a mood

thank u @amyred for giving ideas and being an accomplice of my weird shitposting

Art belongs to @/linkeduniverse

also the spanish one says "GODDAMN IT THE MATH PROJECT"

[cult-of-lilith]

Can someone take that good place cactus meme and create "i have a universal experience" "do you have a universal experience or an experience exclusive to living in the United States?" Because I swear to God the frequency i experience that is excruciating and the meme will help me feel better