#i talk

[sexygaywizard]

Being an online micro celebrity is kinda crazy tbh. Can someone explain to me how dry cleaning works

[cult-of-lilith]

More people should send me nudes of someone else (with their consent obviously) so we can discuss how hot they look and tease how pathetic and needy they are letting you share their nudes, then you can show them our conversation for maximum enjoyment, I get to perv on your partner and your partner gets to be double perved on

[layraket]

happy bday to him

he's very special to me....tell him happy bday.....

art creds towards @/linkeduniverse

[fiomeras]

↑ big fan of this gif... Its like when u and ur buddy get into a disagreement but you both know that everything will be alright because both of you will find a deeper and more meaningful understanding of one another through it, never letting misunderstandings fester and rot the relationship you both have, facing it head on. Friendship is so #badass

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[suitbf]

final succession scene

[plutoons]

come back my scarab. i miss yous

[shikai-the-storyteller]

[her-impervious-condensation]

Reeling from the fact that I understood every "word" of this

hmm. dont like this one

[meltingmooon]

Please please please people interact with artists. Write a comment in the replies or tags. That is literally the best thing of the day for me when someone leaves nice tags. I take screenshots of them and save them in a folder to look at later. I will never be mad at you for rambling at me in the tags about the thing I've posted.

[whatisgoingoninmyhead]

[sexygaywizard]

Just remembered I have hoes in Moldova

[cult-of-lilith]

You don't need things like dignity or shame or honour. You need mommy telling you the fucked up things you came up with all on your own made them so hard it hurts

[layraket]

i love Four he's such a mood

thank u @amyred for giving ideas and being an accomplice of my weird shitposting

Art belongs to @/linkeduniverse

also the spanish one says "GODDAMN IT THE MATH PROJECT"

[fiomeras]

When u read floriculture books dating back to the 1800s you can see how much flowers are commodified today to mean something pleasant + watered down from what it used to be to be used more leisurely but honestly the hyper specificness of some flowers are what interest me the most