this is really all alex trebek's fault, and we shan't speak ill of the dead ------- mol // she/they // 28
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#i am ANNPYED at my body today#this weekend i felt! pretty great!#a little sore saturday#but yesterday like! i had energy! i read a whole book in one sitting!#my brain worked and my body was mostly working and#today i wake up. and it's like.#gunshot noise your eye eczema is gonna be so bad every blink is agony#boom gunshot your sacrum is mad again#bang your foot is freaking out#gunshot it's your intestines they're not pleased#but all weekend. the air was POISON so like. couldn't go outside#and now i'm like this and i'm so fucking annoyed why can't my body just work well like. more#whatever i need to eat smth since i can't walk to grab smth which is what i wanted to do#i need to go see the dog too she will help#i want my room to be unpacked and organized but like. here we are. can't do any of that with this body#i'm just!!!!!!! annoyed !!!!!!! with myself!!!#there's not rly anything i can do rn either. bc i'm just waiting for the appointments to happen#i need and want a job and meanwhile my body is. this#and like. idk. i hate that it's the same shit all the time. all the time#i want to shower ! i want to take trash outside !#i did ONE thing (grabbed packages) and it killed me#just. what fucking ever idk#how to stop blinking is my main thing rn bc my eye is killinggggg meeeeee#mol.txt#eds posting#whatever!!! god!!!
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© Andy Tuohy
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posting shit you had to dig to find on tumblr: beautiful, ethical, your crops are thriving, your hens are laying eggs
posting shit you had to dig to find on public twitter: disgusting, will result in us getting less content, embarrassing for the rest of us, your crops are dust, your hens are barren
#i'm so fucking tired of seeing it#like? do you not realize how bad this is for us#makes me wanna be like and my fic is for all habs fans except you and you and you#lock it down!!!!!!!!!!!#habs#hrpf
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me this past week: idk if taking these allergy meds my doctor told me to try for a week are really doing anything. like i think i feel the same
me after stopping the allergy meds: holy shit i'm dying. my lungs are collapsing. i haven't felt this awful in years
#mol.txt#sometimes i delude myself into thinking i'm healthy and have a good body#or at least a like. kind of decent one.#yesterday i was like nah i just feel icky bc i stayed up too late! and i still ran errands like#meanwhile today. i'm fucking dying and useless and god#i just!#sometimes u just have to rly rly hate urself for having a useless wreck of a body that can't help around the house or do anything#like i napped a bunch and did a nebulizer and had the literal weirdest dreams ever and and and#i still feel awful and just in a. my lungs are not working. way#too ! much ! mucus !!!#i'm supposed to go to the orthopedist tomorrow at 9 am and i need to call them like guys there's no shot#like unless you want me throwing up mucus at your office#UGHHHHHHHH i'm OVER IT i'm TIRED and i'm USELESS#useless!!!!!!!!#whateverrrrr#eds posting
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this rly could be (a loud car drives by)
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#having a mast cell MOMENT#that i'm not loving!!!!!!!#essentially had bad sinus stuff which turned into bad post nasal drip#and now i've got soooo much extra mucus to cough up#and just generally feeling sort of allergic to everything#my body..........it's so bad at doing things...........#sorry to all the people who like own and captured the images i use for mh sad body diaries#this is my silly blog!!! with my silly problems!!'#silly problems is a bit of an. understatement lmaooooo but#my mom sprained her wrist and was at the er for it and was telling me about it and i'm here like yes mhm you're living my life rn !#and she's like. wow this sucks. yes yes it does but you cannot think outside yourself so#anyway i had really really weird dreams last night . not mcloving that#i need to sleep some more i need to let my ribs and lungs rest bc they're TIREDDD#but i needed to come here! and complain! bc i hate my body and i'm so tired of being in pain !#haven't had lung and rib pain like this in Awhile#mol.txt#eds posting
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"Chicago Has a Great Lake" 1966. John Massey American, born 1931
The Art Institute of Chicago
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new mystery bruise on my bad foot
#sorry to everyone who came here for hockey#it's just that i am the queen of the injured reserve#it's been over a year with this foot and ankle............#anyway getting comfy! in my bed! yay!#and recently propping my foot against a blanket as a bolster while i read has been helpful#anyway i get all adjusted. i look down to see if my foot is in the range of the blanket pile#there's a Huge new bruise on my foot#no clue where it came from. hurts to touch#i mean my whole foot does lmao crps is great but#the bruise hurts more and different#and again! no clue what happened! didn't bump it into anything today!#complex regional pain syndrome you suck sooooooooooo much ass it's unreal#god i have so much chronic illness housekeeping to do. my calendars etc#also lmfao moved two months ago and i am Barely unpacked at all lmfao! lol#hard to organize a room when you're like. trying to not use a foot#anyway this is partially a post to have so i can look back and go oh that's when the bruise appeared#i'm just generally kind of stressed because like. how many more diagnoses can i handle hm#the ehlers danlos the complex regional pain syndrome the pots and general autonomic dysregulation#the probable mast cell disorders. the likely endometriosis. the fact that the eds might be fucking vascular#VASCULAR!!!!!!! when i've been all well at least i don't have the one where ur heart explodes hahah for years#i'm just very. very. over it. i shouldn't have this many things#omfg forgot to include the lung stuff and the rib surgery and the pelvic floor shit and and and#i was at the super specialist a couple weeks ago and was like yeah all my joints except my elbows! and she was like#well ur elbows don't look great.#like tysm octavia for taking my healthcare and medical issues seriously i Do appreciate it#however can we back up a little can i be in a little bit of denial Please#okay insane moment over i'm just glad i can still redacted with the crps lmao it was touch and go for a min theee#mol.txt#eds posting
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do people not know that the f in rpf also stands for fucking keep that shit on lockdown
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#i have post nasal drip and my throat hurts from it!!!#and i'm TIRED because i keep having insane dreams from my allergy meds i think#stupid ass ex gf showing up in my dreams like GO AWAY#nobody asked for you!!!!!!#and again. dumbass throat#it's a fun tdf day but i’m too ugh to even enjoy it idkkkkkkk#my foot killing me#i'm just TIRED#mol.txt#eds posting#i guess idk#i'm just FUSSY#EDITED TO ADD now that gd verdict is coming and like#i obviously believe survivors i am one. but if u see me conveniently. not discussing it.#it's because it hits un petit peu too close to home#if you can't figure out what that means ! fuck off !#whatever
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"i drew cole" then why are the eyes blue
#i'm being cunty i know this! i'm aware!#if you ever think i'm not aware that i'm being a cunt. oh honey.#you are what you eat!#anyway. saw alleged cole art. cute premise! but was like#oh? that's? cole???#took me awhile to figure out why i was like hm no it's not :)#HIS EYES! ARE GREEN!!!!!!!!#i have not put in years at the martin st. louis institute for studying weird little guys majoring in cole caufield studies#to see him with BLUE eyes#like get out of my face
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there’s nothing wrong with me plus i don’t have any wants or needs plus i don’t feel or think at all
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wanna make it with you
aka the hawaii habs au for @moregraceful / @teamliftfest (pre-relationship) Cole Caufield/Nick Suzuki, rated G, 9.5k words vignettes, Alternate Universe - fictional NHL team set in Hawaii, Nick Suzuki is from Hawaii, no accuracy guaranteed here except for the feelings of leaving and coming back to your island home


plus a playlist of what nick & arber would be forcing everyone else to listen to in the locker room
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the habs gathering and skating in mtl together in july bc nicks wedding i will die akdkdkdk
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getting to see the babygirls together on ice in july wow... — 07.23.25
#i'm SOOOO happy ugh#and deeply normal about them i swear#nick suzuki#cole caufield#juraj slafkovský#patrik laine#131420#1314#summer habs
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#another day clocking in at the bullshit ehlers danlos factory#oh shit i guess we're making collagen BAD now#i'm supposed to go to the orthopedist today about my ankle and foot. but i have so much mucus today i cannot be in public#my hair is dirty and i'm gross and there's just too much phlegm bc the air is bad and !!!!!!!#my sleep got So fucked up this weekend bc of my angel baby i was helping dogs it#so like. i am sorry to everyone but. i need to be horizontal today. i need to be Flat#i also need to get up and check on the dog but. angel baby has to wait a little longer i cannot go vertical yet#i just. sometimes. it's just. someone needs to debone me like a fish#i can't even RELAX yet tho bc i am waiting for the doctors office to call me back so i can reschedule#and i'm sure doctors hate her tm bc late cancellation but also you're a doctors office so? deal with it#god my body is so dumb sometimes like my foot and ankle are in extreme pain. i'm exhausted. i'm just TIRED#my back fucking hurts from this weird period that's sort of happening still but not really#but like. all makes sense if i have fucking endometriosis#my body ain't right#i need to be in a jacuzzi rn why am i not#i should always be floating. like a seal#also no habs pics for this today bc i didn't feel like scrolling back that far in my photos#july!#i miss hockey!#anyway i'm mega fussy and gonna go read my book and be Done with all this shit#mol.txt#eds posting
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