#maybe my best to be better isnt good enough

[crow-rai]

the whole: you deserve better, so i became better, bit✨ rawr

[luck-of-the-drawings]

two wrongs WILL make a right! ive got another lease on life, and im using it well, who cares if this is all fucked up cause we're all GOING TO HELL! IM JUST WILLIAM WHO SHOULD BE DEAD, HAD TO FOLLOW THE THREAD, thought he was just chillin! now he is a villain! HES ALWAYS SUCH A BUMMER, HE WANTS TO TRUST HIS BROTHER WILLIAM IN A HALLWAY BY HIMSEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[gifti3]

Asmo is that bad bitch u manage to bag and you put up with their toxic traits cause you think ur not gonna find anyone else even remotely as cool as them

[bmpmp3]

you have just opened my third eye.

i need to emphasize to my followers who haven’t played Trendsetters that MC Mode is genuinely just a goofy announcer character who’s entire personality consists of airhorn sound effects and he’s really only present in one specific game mechanic (minus some post game stuff). but i think its okay to become really attached to a one note gimmick character sometimes

character trait i made up about him #1: his flashy fits are his lifeblood and he needs to wear at least 3 different clashing patterns at all times or he can’t function in human society

[jackass-jones]

I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

[ivysprophecy]

please please please

word count; 1644

summary; turning off your phone and shutting out the world isnt the best way to handle your problems but its what you do. and jjs had enough of it.

warnings; i dont think there is any? mentions of anxiety attacks? tagging @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

masterlist

prev. | next

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

"well hey there stranger"

i turn from my book to look behind me, seeing the boy id been actively avoiding for the past two days. carrying his surf board.

i shouldve remembered he'd come here to surf. i just wouldn't have guessed this early in the morning.

"hey jayj."

"oh thats all i get? 'hey'? no 'i miss you so much'?" he sets his board in the sand taking a seat next to me on my blanket.

guess im not finishing my book today. "oh my god jj! youre here! ive been dyingggg to talk to you! i cant believe youre really in here in the flesh! there. better?"

"oh dont be like that- cmon mama whatd i do?" i feel bad with the genuine concern on his face.

okay was ghosting him out of nowhere awful of me? probably. i just didnt know what else to do.

after that night at the bonfire i realized that with my feelings for him growing it wasnt a good idea for us to continue our casual... something. it played with both our emotions. it isnt fair to either of us.

especially after his 'i love you'. that really did it in for me.

"you didnt do anything jj. trust. i just... ive been in a funk. needed some me time thats all."

"well... do you still need your 'me time'?" he looked so hopeful. how could i say yes? where jj maybank is concerned ill easily fold every time. "cause you havent answered my texts so i couldn't ask you to surf with me this morning."

"... i dont have my board. but i suppose i can hang out with you for a little while."

"im honored," he smiles laying back on his elbows, "but really. are you good? i like to think i know you pretty well and this whole MIA thing was not normal."

turning to face him more, i sigh, what the fuck am i supposed to say? 'yea im just so in love with you i cant be around you' yea that would go over really well.

"i dont know. just gotta lot of stuff goin on. you dont have to worry though. im good."

"well do ya wanna talk about it?"

"trust me jay you dont wanna hear about my problems. theyre trivial at best."

"what are friends for if not for listening?" he nudges me with his shoulder urging me to talk. i really dont think i can do this. i was not prepared.

"youre not a very good listener," i point out, to which he immediately takes faux offense. jaw dropped and everything.

"oh thats just not true! i can listen!"

i run a hand through my tangled hair in frustration. this cannot be how i tell him. it just cant. i came here to get away from thinking about this and now hes right here in front of me acting so unserious while im spiraling.

"jj i really appreciate how eager you are to help me but its really not necessary. i didnt really prepare myself and its just too much-"

"prepare yourself? mama what the fuck are you talking about? does this have to do with that night after the bonfire? i mean obviously it does who am i kidding you havent talked to me since then. did i do something wrong? was- was it bad?" he leans in closer, lowering his voice thats laced with worry and guilt.

oh my god that is the absolute last thing i expected him to say. shit i really fucked this up. and honestly just not true.

"what? no! no jj you didnt do anything wrong and it was perfect. promise," i try to reassure him but i know deep down hes gonna over think this whole thing if i dont tell him straight up

i may love him but i never said he was the brightest in the bunch.

"okay so whats the problem?"

"the problem is that it was perfect," i cant help but let out a sigh before hiding my face in my hands as the words leave my mouth.

god my heart is racing, im not ready for this conversation. maybe if i pass out i wont have to. yea if he has to call an ambulance then we can avoid this all together. but an ambulance is also like five grand so...

shit.

"... youre mad at me because you had a good time?" his face contorted in a weird fixture of confusion.

"no! no- god youre so dense sometimes!"

"mama i dont have a fucking clue what youre saying! how does that make me stupid??"

i hide my face in my hands again trying to compose myself because what the fuck kind of confession is this?

"jj im avoiding you because ive been developing feelings for you and i cannot in good conscience keep being so casual with you and sleeping with you knowing this and i know that you do not want anything serious so i figured id just make it easier for the both of us and just take myself out of the situation entirely so that nothing bad happens and i cannot stop fucking talking so please for the love of god say something or do something because i feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest and-"

oh my god im getting my book moment. he just kissed me to make me stop talking!!! oh my god hes kissing me.

is this where i kiss him back?

of course i kiss him back!! what the fuck!!? and oh my lord does it feel nice, so so so nice.

the way his tongue presses against mine, the way he cups my jaw and pulls me close to him. it was slow and confident and loving and everything he knows i like. his hands find my hips like muscle memory, pulling our bodies together, eventually having me on his lap. where he takes my hands and places them on his chest so i can feel his chest rise and fall with deep breaths.

“… mama you need to learn to breathe.”

“that’s not funny right now jj. im actively having an anxiety attack, horrible thing to say really."

"what're you so anxious about? i think we're havin' a pretty calm conversation, dont you?"

"i mean yea- but thats not-" he interrupts me while shaking his head with a shrug.

"listen, i get why youre a little nervous to say that, all things considered. but i thought it was pretty obvious i was into you, i just didnt wanna push you because you made your boundaries clear so i just took what i could get."

my eyes bug out of my head in shock. am i the dense one? i mean yea hes a really good kisser and i can feel he cares deeply about me when we do stuff and makes me feel safe and supported but that doesnt mean-

yea im stupid. he all but outright said it. actually he has. thats what started this panic.

"... okay yea- maybe. but you agreed they were a good idea so i figured that meant you wanted them there too. and i dont know- it just kind of got overwhelming and i didnt wanna be one of those girls who expects something huge after sex so... you know what i mean? and truthfully youre not what i expected for me."

"what does that mean?" his face showed a little offense.

"i just mean- ya know. for one i didnt expect to love my best friend. and then on top of that i didnt think id love a guy who was a treasure hunting, or- adrenaline junkie i should say."

he leans back putting some space between us, "is that supposed to be a bad thing?

"no! no jay im not saying this right- i-... youre a fighter and youre adventurous- a lot of things im not. if that makes sense. all im sayin is a few years ago i wouldnt have expected to be here. but i like it here. love it here even," i smile at him teasingly trying to ease his worries. the last thing i need is to say the wrong thing right now.

"so what youre saying is that you love me?"

"youre such an idiot."

'but do ya? because i think you do mama."

i roll my eyes chuckling, "yea. yea i do maybank," i press a small kiss to his cheek leaning back into him.

"does this mean youll let me make you a maybank mama?" his eyebrow was quirked up as he teases his question.

"lets not get ahead of ourselves. how about we take this slow?"

he looks down at my button up shirt i was wearing over my bikini to shield me from the ocean breeze, and i could tell he was debating taking it off of me. giving me that same look he always does.

"slow? mama i dont think we're gonna be too good at that."

"all 'm sayin is we dont have to jump the gun, we both admitted it, doesnt mean we gotta change the way we act or announce it or nothing. we can just enjoy this ourselves ya know?"

"you embarrassed of me mama?"

"not at all baby, just want you all to myself. is that too much to ask for?"

he shakes his head leaning up against me, our faces inches apart, "nah i dont think so. i like the sound of that."

i meet him the rest of the way pressing his lips to mine, smiling into it. pulling him as close as humanly possible. i need him under mind skin, in my blood, you know?

"i do too, so we agree? we'll keep this between us for now?"

"whatever you want mama. yes maam."

[thehereticdiaries]

WKTO: Holy Fuck, that's Ateez

Summary: You and your best friend have made it to the concert you've been looking forward to for MONTHS: Ateez! You have an amazing time, but at the end of the night you want nothing more than to crash onto the hotel bed. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) those plans get interrupted.

Mix of tweets, texts, and written story! Let me know if this is any good, it's my first try at an smau.

Series Masterlist

"Y/N, come on I need you to help with my eyeshadow," Chelsea complained from the hotel room's bathroom.

"Okay, okay. Honestly, why did you even pick a look you know is beyond your skill set?" You grumbled, grabbing both of your makeup bags and dragging your best friend out into the main room.

"Because I have you!" She grinned at you and plopped on the floor in between the beds. It took you a little under an hour to do both of your makeup looks and get dressed {idk how to do makeup irl sorry if this isnt enough time}.

"Damn, we look so good!" You gushed as you checked your outfits in the mirror.

"Hell yea we do! But what now? We still have, like, seven hours until we need to leave."

"We sit in silence and go on tiktok until it's time to go," you said while grabbing your phone from the bed. "Just make sure you don't let your phone die. We have power banks, but we should leave at 100%."

"Excellent plan." Chelsea mirrored your actions, sitting next to you on the small loveseat against the wall. First thing's first: you needed to post a photo of your outfit.

Seven hours passed by very quickly with the help of edits and compilations. You buzzed with anticipation while you waited for the Uber in the lobby.

"Chelsea I am literally going to explode," you bounced on your heels in excitement.

"No because same. I can't believe I'm going to see them with my own two eyes," she grinned and smacked your shoulder repeatedly. You swatted her hand away, looking at your phone when it vibrated.

"Yes! Uber's here, let's go." You corralled her out the door and into the car. The driver, a lovely middle-aged woman, thoroughly complimented your outfits, letting the two of you ramble on about Ateez. There was no way in hell she would remember all of their names, but she was very sweet and nodded along in all the right places.

"Holy shit, this place is huge," Chelsea whistled at the size of the stadium. You tugged her into the entrance line, chatting with the other ATINYs.

"I love that you added San's anarchy symbol! Isn't it going to smudge, though?" A pink-haired girl behind you asked.

"I went on some cosplay blogs and found a really good primer and setting spray. The person that suggested them goes to conventions as Sukuna, Akaza, and Kankuro and their paint lasts all day," you explained, pulling up the photos the cosplayer posted.

The venue employees finally opened the entrances, stealing your attention from the girl behind you. Your impatience grew stronger the closer you got to the security line. You didn't really expect to find a spot at the barricade, despite Beomgyu's teasing. But you had luck and Chelsea on your side, and she managed to worm her way up front, dragging you along with her. At 7 o'clock on the dot, the lights dropped and music blasted from the speakers.

After their final goodbyes, Ateez disappeared backstage. The overhead lights blinded you as they powered on. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so hard and your throat hurt from screaming for three hours straight.

"That was better than amazing. That was life-changing. A true religious experience," Chelsea sighed dreamily. You hit up the merch booth before heading outside to wait for your ride back to the hotel.

"Are your ears ringing as bad as mine?" You leaned your head on Chelsea's shoulder.

"Oh definitely. We really should have listened to Hyeongjun and Yuna and gotten earplugs," she agreed loudly.

"You're shouting." You pinched her knee as emphasis. She rolled her eyes and pulled you to the Uber that parked nearby. It was past 11 when you got back to your room and you were starving.

"I'm getting DoorDash, what do you want?" Chelsea asked from where she splayed out on the floor. The two of you ordered an excessive amount of food, sitting in a comfortable silence while you waited.

"David will be here in five minutes with our food, go wait in the lobby." You glared at the older girl.

"Why me? I'm comfortable."

"You still have your shoes on. Just go, please," she whined and shot you her best puppy eyes.

"Fine. You're lucky you're cute." You grabbed your room key and trudged down to the lobby. You tapped your foot impatiently, looking around at the artwork on the walls. A group of very familiar faces entered from a side door, and your eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

Despite your best efforts, you couldn't keep your eyes off the idols. You sat like a deer in headlights. Did you want them to notice you or did you want to launch yourself into the sun? Yes. Well, they did notice you, but they were much more subtle with their glances.

Before Hongjoong could stop them, Seonghwa and Yeosang approached you.

"Hi! You're an ATINY, right?" The eldest was the first to speak. You nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Were you at the show?" Again, you nodded.

"Skipping the small talk, did you know we were staying here? Did you follow us from the venue?" Your jaw dropped at Yeosang's questions.

"No! No, of course not. I booked a room here a couple weeks ago because I found a deal on Groupon," you quickly explained yourself. "I'm so sorry if I freaked you out, I swear I didn't know."

"Looks like Hongjoong and Jongho were worried for nothing. I'll let them know," Seonghwa smiled at you before turning back to his other members. The others eyed you with a mix of apprehension and interest. You were very aware of Yeosang standing two feet to your right.

"How did you like the show?" Yeosang titled his head, waiting expectantly for your answer.

"It was amazing. I had so much fun, it was unlike any other concert that I've been to," you praised, feeling shy under the idol's gaze.

"I'm glad to hear it."

"I knew she was at the show." You jumped slightly when San suddenly appeared next to Yeosang.

"You knew?" The older boy furrowed his brows.

"Mhm. I recognized her hair and belt." You flushed as their eyes trailed over your body. You awkwardly clasped your hands in front of you to hide your exposed midriff.

"Are those real?" San gestured to the symbols on your thigh and hip.

"The one on my leg is. This one is paint."

"It held up really well," Yeosang noted. You fumbled over your own thoughts. You were practically short-circuiting at this point and couldn't figure out how to continue the conversation.

"Are you Chelsea?" A man wearing a DoorDash hat handed you the large bag of food when you nodded.

"That's a lot of stuff for one girl," San teased.

"It's not just for me. Chelsea is my friend, we ordered on her account. Speaking of, I should really get back to my room. I'm sure she's wondering where I am." You began a hasty retreat.

"Wait, what's your name, then?" San asked before you could turn to the elevator.

"O-oh, I'm Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, we're having breakfast at the cafe across the street tomorrow at 9. If you're interested, you can join us. Bring Chelsea, too." You gaped at the idol, unable to process the invitation.

"Uhm, okay. Yeah! Sure, I'll talk to Chelsea about it. Uh, gooodnight," you stuttered and scurried away to the elevator.

"Goodnight, little ATINY!" San called out just before the elevator doors closed.

Permanent Taglist: @furfoxsake22 @babygirlskz98 @miniverse-zen @holly-here @corgilover20 @eastjonowhere @bookswillfindyouaway

Series Taglist: @staytinyluv

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

[emotionaldamages]

forbidden love?- carlos sainz

part one | part two

carlos sainz x twin!norris!reader

masterlist

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 2,394,097

y/nnorris hawaii adventures with the roommates

comments

username isnt she in school?

username she majors in biology, she travels with her "school"

username ohhh

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landonorris have fun but not too much fun

username we love lando for this

maxverstappen does the cat need a home

y/nnorris ofc not

username maxie you have enough cats

maxverstappen I need more

carlossainz55 que buena vista

username yall carlos is flirting

username how is she even famous

username shes only famous bc of her brother

username carlos watch out lando is watching

y/nnorris

liked by landonorris, danielriccardo, and 3,128,837

congratulations on p2 to the dumber sibling

comments

landonorris the dumbest child is you

username this so cute I cant-

username the cutest siblings I swear

username idk if I wanna be with lando or with her

username carlando p1-2

username so proud of him

carlossainz55 best siblings

username if only carlos and y/n just kissed for his p1

username carlos and y/n are married(let me stay delulu cus it's the solulu)

landonorris yall better shut up in these comments

y/nnorris someone's moody

username THIS IS SO FUNNY PLS

y/nnorris has posted a story!

oscarpiastri

liked by carlossainz55, maxverstappen, and 983,273

oscarpiastri have twins as friends they said

comments

mclaren we love the twins!

y/nnorris aye let me sleep in peace

username I would sleep to if I had to watch cars go in circles

y/nnorris period

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carlossainz55 y/n sleeps en todos lados

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username best siblings everrrr

username carlos does she sleep maybe yk in ur bed

y/nnorris

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, and 2,384,972

y/nnorris a moment for life

tagged landonorris

comments

username what.

username FERRARI

username shes supporting her bf and brother duh

landonorris take that hat off

landonorris love you

carlossainz55 ❤❤

username THE HEARTS. THE HEARTS

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pierregasly you in some trouble now

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carlossainz55

carlossainz55 mi amor

comments

username this is just wow

username geez

landonorris off the market I see

charles_leclerc good luck is all I'm saying

username charles honey what do you know

username this is so cute

username my husband💔

username who is this woman

username this better be y/n

part two will be coming soon maybe not so soon but it will come❤

[spitblaze]

Mouthwashing spoilers below cut, played through it again today bc i accidentally nullified all of my achievements through the dev console. oops

Okay so the first time I played through it I was high and it was very late at night. Already a great start but it means I missed some shit my first time through and I'm already not exactly stellar at more abstract literary analysis. LUCKILY this site is full of people who are way better at that than I am (and im convincing my partners who are also way better at it than I am to play it soon too).

Luckily I'm better at lit analysis than whoever the weirdo on the Steam forum saying this game is bad because it 'doesn't punish Jimmy for his actions enough' as if this isnt a horror game primarily about his guilt-induced mental breakdown and if i have to see anyone else say that anya is a poorly written character im going to poorly write them out of existence because I'm inclined to believe that if you think that you either weren't fucking paying attention or have subscribed to the Joss Whedon school of feminist writing which is 'good writing of women is when they are girlboss'. like sorry shes too much of a depressed traumatized Fawn Response rape victim for your liking. jesus christ

Anyway the game being short DOES lend itself well to multiple playthroughs, which honestly is for the best because its really one of those stories that reveals a lot more on a second viewing. There's a Lot going on here but as far as I can tell, the biggest themes here are what it means to 'take responsibility' as well as autonomy and the loss thereof. The responsibility one is for sure the most obvious one, how many times in the game does it directly say 'take responsibility'? How many times does Curly say 'I'll fix this', how many times does Jimmy say he'll 'fix this'? And ultimately, how successful are either of them?

Curly's a good leader, sure, but how much does he just let slide for the sake of 'the big picture'? Daiske was a last minute addition. He's a good kid, but he didn't make a stink about it. Gotta think about the big picture. Anya has told him about what Jimmy did to her. Nothing. 'What would you do?' 'Anything.' But nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm not gonna sit here and say that Curly is 100% every bit as evil as Jimmy, if someone is raped the blame falls squarely on the rapist- but it's completely on Curly for not taking action against Jimmy for the sake of the big picture. He really could've done anything. Fucking anything. It's not necessarily on Curly to foresee that Jimmy's stress response would be to end it and take everyone else with him. But it was on him to do something about a known violent assault and its perpetrator before anyone else got hurt. He's not a perpetrator, but he's an accessory. He may not have deserved the punishment he got. But he's nothing if not agonizingly aware of the consequences for not taking responsibility for the actions of his crew.

Jimmy, meanwhile, is obsessed with responsibility despite the fact that he's incapable of actually handling it, from the very start. It's not clear when exactly he assaulted Anya, but I assume it was after Curly broke the news to the crew. The moment even a shred of consequences emerge, the minute Anya tells him that she's pregnant, his first course of action is to deliberately sabotage the ship. Murder-suicide. He says he's sorry. That he made a mistake. As if there were not multiple, deliberate steps at which he could've stopped and realized what he was doing. After everything, he tells the crew it was Curly's fault so he could have more of that responsibility he desired so much. Not that anyone respects it except maybe Daisuke.

But he can't handle even the most basic of responsibilities there, either. A handful of menial tasks and he fucking snaps at the woman he hurt to begin with, even when she only ever acts the way she does around him to avoid further hurt. 'Take responsibility'. But he can't. Over and over he'll tell the vision of Curly he's made in his heads that he's sorry, that he'll fix things, that they'll all make it. And then he just keeps making things worse. And worse. And worse. Anya's going to hurt Curly, she's suspect and violent. Swanson won't let them into Utility. That's suspect, he's going to get out of here and leave everyone else behind. They both have to be stopped. Don't you trust me, Daisuke? Don't you trust your captain? That's why YOU have to go through the vent. He cannot fucking take responsibility, only goad others into doing things and handling things as underhandedly as possible. No wonder Curly laughs when he takes the gun. Anya spent all this time trying to keep it from him. And he got it anyway, because that'll all Jimmy knows how to do. Take and resent and hurt. His own twisted version of 'responsibility'.

It genuinely pisses me off how many people write off Anya as being 'badly written' or write her off altogether, especially considering the VERY OBVIOUS character she's based off of, being Wendy Torrance in The Shining (Yes I'm aware there's baggage around that particular character's strength of writing too, but I'm not about to go off on a rant about a movie ive only absorbed through cultural osmosis). Like...she's not a perfectly written character, no- her arc is less about her as a character and more about the things that have been done to her. Sexual assault used as a narrative device, nothing new there- it's at least less egregious in a horror story, where fear and trauma and terrible things happening to good people is kinda the whole thing. My big issue with Anya's writing is that we didn't get more of her- more exploration of how Jimmy's actions affected her, more exploration of how her and Curly are that much more alike after the crash- it's not a very long game to start, and given her character and the situation I don't necessarily disagree with her going out the way she did at the time she did. It just would've been nice if they'd utilized the nonlinear structure of the whole thing to explore her more, y'know?

Given Jimmy's PoV it makes sense that he's more fixated on the consequences of raping her than on the woman herself, but from the Doylist perspective, like...c'mon, give us SOMETHING more to work with. And like I said before, it pisses me off that people see a woman who doesn't immediately fall into the 'girlboss' role when shit hits the fan and then write it off, as if the premise of the story isn't about everyone's reaction to a hopeless situation spearheaded by a violent, manipulative, self-centered shithead. Swansea's the most capable person here outside of Jimmy and Anya, and I've yet to see anyone saying his character was weak because he spends most of his time drinking and raging instead of taking action. I'm mostly just upset that I don't have much more to say about her outside of her relationship to the rest of the crew. One could argue that most of what we are is defined by our relationships to others, and the nature of the game means that we don't really get a deep peek into anyone's psyche besides Curly and Jimmy.

I like how she invokes the metaphor of that dead pixel, the detail that sticks out like a sore thumb to her, always in the back of her mind, ever-present, that Curly can't see and never will because he's too busy looking at the big picture. I like how they establish the nature of Jimmy and Anya's relationship without being too direct, putting up that brave fawn act while he's there- she has to, the ship is only so big and they're so off course that rescue seems impossible- but she doesn't sleep in the same room as everyone else, she won't confide in Jimmy, and his mistreatment of her was what finally drove her over the edge. Jimmy's more concerned about what she might do to Curly that what she might do to herself, and he KNOWS that she's prone to mental breakdowns- often caused by himself, if not by Curly's state. The whole thing is tragic, but Anya's case is particularly saddening. Even after her death, she's paraded around like a puppet so that Jimmy can have his macabre little party. He doesn't care about her. He never did. And yet he's haunted by her, the 'sexual thoughts of cartoon horses' intermingling with his strange psychosexual hatred of the nurse just trying to do her job, haunted by the consequences of his actions because he's too much of a fucking coward to really, honestly and truly, take responsibility.

Swansea and Daisuke I have less to say about, ultimately. They feel a lot more straightforward in their narratives, at least from my perspective. Daisuke's a dumb kid with a shitty internship and he's so upbeat and positive that it genuinely pisses Swanson off, which means that he does ultimately care about the kid. A+ dynamic. Seems like a prick on an initial playthrough, but on the second run through I get it. He's old enough, he's seen enough, he knows exactly what Jimmy is and doesn't buy his responsible act for a second. He's not a captain. He's just some shithead who acts like he can handle it but flees in the most destructive way possible the second the consequences rear their head. He's a man that, even in the throes of substance abuse, does a better job of taking responsibility than Jimmy ever could, and arguably better than Curly ever did. Instead of just shrugging his shoulders at a last minute intern, he took him under his wing and started training him. When shit hits the fan, his instinct is to protect Daisuke- the one person who IS his responsibility. When he really, truly does not believe there is anything else that can be done, he puts him out of his misery. Maybe he was saving that cryo pod for him, too. It's hard to say, but the fact that he's the only one who stood up to Jimmy and saw him for what he was makes him that much more likable.

Daisuke...oh, Daisuke. He couldn't have known this was coming. He was doing his best, he just did what he could, he tried to be helpful and kind and be a good person. And for that, Jimmy used him and got him killed because he was too much of a goddamn coward to apologize to Anya, to see her as anything besides a nuisance at best. I get why Jimmy is so fixated on his death- as far as he's concerned, his first real failure, since Anya was such a non-issue that he didn't even have anything to say about her lifeless body. It wasn't just his inaction that got this kid killed, it was his actions. He had every opportunity to use even a single ounce of his brain and recognize that there are other people on the ship besides him and Anya, to recognize that these psych evals aren't just for the sake of the individual. And for that, Daisuke died. Way to go, hero.

The autonomy shit...god. Psychological trauma can be just as incapacitating as physical harm, can't it? Anya completely changing her demeanor after being assaulted, her body no longer just her own. I want to see the horror of that from her perspective, the invasion and the terror and revulsion of having something like that growing inside you. How sickening it must feel, how just the knowledge of its existence makes living that much worse. How the man who did it is still nothing but despotic. Curly, finally seeing Jimmy for who he truly is firsthand. It's all well and good to believe in someone, to trust them and want to help them overcome their struggles. But being choked and beaten and abused by them, day after day after day, because you had the audacity to sit a little higher on the totem pole than they did, because you had what they wanted, because they couldn't stand seeing someone better off then they were.

It's kind of mind-boggling, honestly. I've...kinda been there, with people who I know are still there, they're fully in there and aware and the same person they've always been, but their means to communicate with the outside world is cut off. I was fortunate enough to have been listening to a lot of disability activists around the time my aunt started losing her speech. It seemed a lot of times that the only people who really recognized that she was still there were me and my uncle. Even my mom, her older sister, inseparable for life, started treating her like she was suddenly a different person, not capable of really understanding her or wanting or doing things for herself.

So, like- not trying to be selfish or anything, just doing the autistic 'oh i can relate to this' bit, particularly about Jimmy projecting all of this shit onto the captain when he barely has the capacity to laugh or cry, let alone speak. His savior. His best friend. His bitter enemy. Beating him relentlessly while giving him his medicine for having the audacity to be an inconvenience. Let's eat some cake. I want to go home. Curly is just a man, and Jimmy regards him as helpless, antagonistic, and a god all at once. He'll thank me for this one day.

So uh. Many thoughts, head full. After the end of the bizarro sequence with Curly heading to the cockpit, the door is very small. A black pixel, the one stuck in the back of Anya's mind. A graveyard full of mausoleums, every one of them with the same epitaph as the bizarro one for Daigo in ch 14, and the one you can enter with his face on it. Not a single one for Anya. The Polle at the end having the same blue text as Anya, haunting the narrative just as much as Curly, just less overt. I'll fix this. I'll take responsibility. God. God jesus fuck damn hell christ son of a bitch. Fuck capitalism for putting their employees on such tight strings and skeleton crews that a collective pink slip can send people into this kind of spiral (or rather can give Jimmy a good reason to convince everyone else that all of them are completely fucked except for the captain and Daisukle) and fuck Jimmy. Fuck him. My one other complaint besides the feminist critique above is that theres some sequences that go on a bit longer than they really should (ch. 14 getting the mouthwash, most of the vent segments).

Fuck you, Jimmy.

I hope that gunshot hurt.

[zan0tix]

May I just say I really really appreciate your approach to and respect for the transfemininity embedded in Homestuck. Like the fact that you depict Jake as a kind of "genderfuck" (for lack of a better word) character without trying to divorce that from transfemininity as so many others do, as well as being able to depict Roxy with certain clocky characteristics without disregarding her femininity or making it feel fetish-y, is all really admirable in my eyes. It gets extremely frustrating seeing large swathes of the fandom constantly trying to separate the story of Homestuck from transfemininity despite it having a transfem enby author, so I really appreciate that you don't shy away from it in your art :)

I am so glad!!!!! Its something ive Always noticed in like every fandom since i first got onto the internet the disparity between the amount of transfems i knew vs how often their story got to be uplifted in fandom spaces or get to be celebrated how transmascs did considering how queer dominated they are but then i grew up and realised how badly male centric queer spaces are too😭

Homestuck is one of the spaces that has a big amount of transfems openly engaging in fandom activities and that makes me really happy to see! since i often see gross rhetoric from transmascs or cis women about fandom spaces abt “who is allowed” and “fandom being a safe space” cough blatant transmisogyny (sobs everywhere its so bad)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PPL BRUSH PAST HUSSIE BEING TRANS SO OFTEN ISNT THAT INSANE. To me it reframes homestuck how the creators of the matrix being trans does. Like I dunno maybe that informed the works presentation of gender somehow. Maybe all the commentary and critique and displays of frustration at the contradictory nature of gender but especially trying to fit “being a man” in society came from somewhere when they were writing it 🤔🤔🤔 hussie said it herself that alot of homestuck was just stream of consciousness. Everything that comes out of daves mouth near the end seemed very plausible to be a reflection of hussies own journey realising that Actually these boundaries of what defines A Good Man and A Good Woman are ridiculous and no person can possibly live up to that no matter what were told from birth.

But i try my best to reflect the innate transfemininity of homestuck and the majority of its cast, its something integral to the works themes and just the community who built it! It saddens me how skittish other transmascs are about engaging with or portraying the transfeminine stories when its just. Practically textual. And all you need to do is Listen and empathise. I love learning how other feminine people see themselves in this story like how often do you get such a menagerie of in depth fem characters. And i love seeing what the experiences transfems see echoed in homestuck are because its all such insightful stuff About femininity and its beauty and its ills all at once. Roxy..kanaya.. wipes tear from my eye.

I want to actively include and celebrate transfem features and bodies as much as transmasc ones get to be around here and i am glad my jake and roxy do feel that way 🥹🥹 my aim with my designs is to make them feel like some everyday people youd see, no fetishisation/sexualisation or demonisation, just Existing and appreciating. Because i know how much it can mean to see yourself in something and for that to be treated with care and kindness. Its why i create in the first place! Because of how others creations gave me that comfort when i couldnt find it elsewhere

I feel similarly about how people portray fat women or just like. Women in general. its sad how badly the whole sexualisation = acceptance warps how people portray things fatness or transfem features. Never ever saying these things arent hot or sexy or to be appreciated. Duh. I think how i portray jake says enough abt what i think of that LOL just that It feels like its the only way people try and show theyre accepting? Which just feels so gross and dehumanising the only way they think to display they feel empathy is through saying “Yeah i can get off to people like you”😭

Rlly bad in society in general so also in the homestuck space. Worlds hardest challenge is liking the alpha kids. Im so sorry for what they do to you jane and roxy🥲🥲🥲 Its baffling because Homestuck is Prime Example Numero Uno of how to humanise characters. Just display them being people; their thoughts, their feelings, their insecurities, their passions, their woes, their loves, their losses. So much can be communicated through how a character speaks with their friends.

I wana do that for jake and roxy! They get to be dimensional too! I like showing their laughs and their sorrows, just them Existing with the people around them. They get to be a part of the lighthearted comedy just as the rest of them do. They get to be a part of all the gender and sexuality insanity going on in their friend group, can point out their flaws and mistakes and insecurities. I dunno its rlly not that hard to just empathise with them and want to tell their stories.

I am so invested in the raw unabashed Humanity of homestuck. Its just one person pouring their brain contents into this huge thing and it displays the best and the worst and the absurdity and the questions. Its so interesting and hussies transness IS JUST BAKED INTO IT. Thus the characters contain that too and it kinda stinks of transmisogyny to throw that out!

YAPPING TOO MUCH OMG but i rlly appreciate this ask🫶🫶🫶makes me so happy to hear

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

fluffy kid!stancest first kiss on glass shard beach would be so cute maybe by the swings or when they first find what would become the stan o war

combining these two together, but 2nd anon PLEASE know your ask got me writing old stancest at first that immediately turned hurt and comfort, so i'll be posting that when i actually finish it udndhdhdu this one is a bit of a rush job, BUT i hope you guys like it! this is my first time writing kid stancest, trying to run my head over how boys just banter and this is the best i could relay lmao. also if ford's internal dialogue isnt as flowery as it ought to be, it's mostly because i do still want it to sound like it's coming from a child, and i imagine Ford's internal dialogue wasn't fully realized until he's at least a littls older, you know?

anyway enough stalling: please enjoy!

~~~

Ford thinks he could stay like this forever.

Sitting on a crate, Stanford watches Stanley draw on the sand with the end of a big stick, planning all their great adventures when they finally get out of this place, the promise of their Big Day of Adventure made them giddy all day, bouncing on the heels of their feet all over the beach until the deck guys they "borrowed" a can of paint from earlier found them, chasing them off and forcing the two of them to take cover. They did, only belatedly realizing they had to come back for their ship since their dream did rely on them fixing up the boat to be in top condition for it to sail. Luckily they didn't take their ship, so the two of them were able to push it back into the alcove they found it, keeping it their own little secret.

Ford looks at it in awe again. In bold letters, "The Stan O' War" stares back at him. Their promise of the future. A future with his brother, forever

"And then— Poindexter are ya listening?!" Stan asks, tapping the stick lightly on Ford's head who swats it away with a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah! I am, I am!"

"Good, cuz you better hear this!" Stan resumes drawing on the sand. Ford looks down, tilting his head quizically.

"Why are we standing on top of the sun?"

"That's an octopus!" Stan points to the pile of squigly lines Ford thought had been the ocean. "See?"

"That's still kinda impossible."

"Aw, shuddap!" Stan scoffs playfully, then proceeds to draw fish tails with long noses and circle ends.  "Of course its possible! This is after I killed it, and we're doin' a victory cheer on top of it!" Stan pumps his fist in the air, and begins chanting, echoing loud across the alcove: "PINES! PINES! PINES! And after—"

"Wait, how did we kill it?"

"I beat it up, duh!"

"What did I do?"

Stan huffs. "You math, science and bored it to death, you big nerd," he says with an annoyed expression, which quickly gives away to snickers as he dodges the fistful of sand Ford throws in his direction, leaving a grainy cloud in its wake. Stan points back at his drawing, at the long nosed fish with lines protruding off the top. Until Ford blinks, and tilts his head again, realizing that the messy scribbles are probably meant to be... "Anyway, after we totally beat this giant octopus monster, all the mermaid babes will be all over us! They'd give us kisses, and hugs, and and–"

Covering his mouth with his hand, Ford snorts loudly. "Stanley... you want to kiss fish ladies?"

An offended look crosses Stan's face, and if it wasn't for the sunburn already staining his and Ford's skin an angry, blistering red, Ford could swear Stan was blushing, his cheeks puffing, brown eyes wide and fists clenching. Cute, Ford thinks, so quickly, he almost doesn't catch it.

But he does.

Just like how his shoulder catches Stan's fists, sending him to more fits of giggling as he goes down.

"Shaddup, shaddup, shut uuuuuuuup," Stan continues his playful assault, clearly trying to not to smile, but Ford's laughter catches him like the infectious bug that went around school three months ago, and his grin stretches wild as he pushes Ford to the ground, and planting himself on Ford's short legs. Ford's hand land on his shoulders, trying and obviously failing at pushing off his stronger brother with all his twelve fingered might, but maybe it's because Ford is laughing too much he's out of breath, chest shaking while he heaves his giggles. Maybe it's the weird but nice heaviness Stan is forcing on him, and Ford counts that as the fifth time this day Stan made him feel that: 'weird but nice.'

Yesterday was seven whole times.

"Get off me, jerk!"

"You're the jerk," Stan argues, catching Ford's hands and pinning them down to the sand, grinning at Ford who's completely caught under him. "You've been making fun of me the whole time!"

"No I wasn't! I think it's cool you wanna kiss fish ladies!"

"They're not fish ladies, Sixer! They're mermaids!" Stan argues, looking a lot like Ford when he exasperatedly explains that solving the daily crossword on the newspaper is not lame, just with the additional large gap between his teeth, bandage on his face, cute puffy cheeks, which almost sends Ford to another laughing fit. "Mermaids are cool! No, they're hot!"

"If you say so," Ford shrugs, feeling the soft grains of sand move against his back. "They'd smell like fish though, but I think you would like that."

"Pfff," Stan lets go and straightens up to blow a raspberry, tilting himself to flop onto the sand next to Ford, moving so his fingers brushed Ford's when at their hips. Sixth. "Like you're any different. I bet you have a lot of weird stuff you wanna kiss too. You're obsessed with your ano– anama—"

"Anamolies."

"Aliens. I bet you wanna kiss aliens."

"No I don't!"

"Yeah, you do!"

"I don't," Ford insists, but he's definitely thought about it. Not in a weird way, of course. He wonders about kissing a lot of things, like growing boys do, like the health developmental sections of science books say so! Girls. Boys sometimes.

Boys most of the time.

A boy, most of the time.

"If you say so," Stan repeats dismissively, stretching his arms over his head while Ford watches behind his glasses. Feeling the sand starting to get to that 'pointy, sticky and annoying' state when someone lays on it, he sits up, eyes landing on the Stan O' War again. Stan follows, quickly sitting up.

"What'cha thinking of?"

"Just wondering the capability of weight distribution on the boat."

"Uh...."

"I wonder if it's actually strong enough to hold us up to sail. We're gonna have to fix that up before we take it to the water, remember? Maybe it's not even built for two people."

The last part came out of his mouth without thinking, and Ford is alarmed with the quick moment of doubt. For a second, their dream seemed a little impossible.

Stan pushes himself up, and runs to the stationed boat.

"Stan? What are you—"

"Keep up, Sixer!" Stan exclaims, grabbing onto the ledge of the boat, and suddenly Ford is running after his brother. All caution thrown out of his system when Stan lifts himself over the edge and on top of the boat's deck effortlessly.

"Stan!"

"Look, Ford, it's fine!" Stan exclaims, arms spread wide and standing victoriously. Ford grabs hold of the ledge, and tries to lift his legs over, only to almost fall off with a "Whoa!"— until Stan's hand latches onto his.

"Hold on," Stan tugs until Ford's body lifts high enough for him to wrap his arms around Ford's shoulders. He grunts, pulling the rest of his twin's body with all his strength before falling onto the deck, Ford landing on top of his legs.

Somehow, they find themselves almost exactly as before, just in reverse, skin still grainy and sticky and hot-red, Ford's chest shaking again but this time it's from panting in the short burst of physical activity. His face close to Stan's, Ford feels a bubbling in his chest, a little tingle all over his skin. One he wants to blame on the summer heat still simmering outside the cave or maybe the sunburn all over his back and torso, but it's not that.

Seventh.

"You're kinda heavy for a stick, Sixer."

Ford punches his shoulder this time, smirking. "Shut up, jerk."

"Now you hate it," Stan comes back smugly, then glances down at the deck. "Hey, look! It can hold the both of us after all!"

Remembering his previous concerns, he looks down on the boat, then raps his knuckles onto the floorboards. It's actually pretty sturdy for how old Ford theorized it to be. That's pretty cool.

"Guess we can cross that out of the stuff we have to fix up," Ford concludes. He pushes his glasses over his nose, thinking deeply again. "Still have a lot of stuff to consider though. Plus, who knows how much bigger we'll get too..." He muses, mostly to himself.

So many to consider... Ford doesn't think even his freakish hands could count all the ways it could go right, or wrong, if it goes anywhere at all... it's kind of big, and open, and Ford thinks it's almost like the ocean itself.

"Eh, don't worry about that stuff so much, Sixer," Stan shrugs, his voice breakjng through Ford's train of thought. Ford realizes he's still very much on Stanley's legs, and maybe it's because all the running, pushing, wrestling they've done all day that completely wrung him out, or maybe it's because the warm bubbling in his chest that overflows and keeps his own legs stuck like sap, but unlike Stan, Ford can't bring himself to move off, move away from Stan. His brown eyes wide, grin with a goofy gap in the teeth and cheeks puffing, Stan looks ready to sail off right then and there.

"As long as you've got me, we can do everything. We're getting out of this place no matter what."

Ford smiles warmly. Somehow he could never get tired doing that around his brother and that's weird. It's nice. His hands find Stan's shoulders, and without thinking, he blurts out:

"Stanley... It wasn't aliens."

"Wait, wha—"

And Ford presses his lips to Stan's. He doesn't really know how to do this. It's kinda gross, with Stan tasting like sand and sweat from rolling around it all day, but so did Ford and getting past that, it just feels good. Almost on instinct, he pulls away panic rising at throat, because Oh no, Stan will think I'm a freak too.

But Stan leans forward too, almost knocking Ford's glasses away and also not knowing what he's doing, but it feels nice. Really, really nice.

Eighth.

Ford thinks he could stay counting those forever.

~~

If you like this send another prompt or a prompt of your own! Hope you liked this anons, be it sufficiently fluffy enough lmao

[ac3ifix]

ASK N U SHALL RECEIVE

req: please do a part two where we are pregnant and he fucks us and then a time skip to fluff with us and him with the kid and or kids🫣 and maybe smut at the end you don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it tho❤️❤️

OKAYY SO THIS IS A LOT BUT ILL DEF TRY MY BEST 🫶🫶

(PS: I didnt add smut at the end bc i think it wouldve been a lil too much!! apologies for it being a bit rushed)

cw: purposfully lowercase, second person, p n v, smut, FTM reader, male reader, teen pregnancy (reader is 18, kage is 19) kinda shit writing, not proofread.

kageyama was THRILLED when you told him that the test was positive, he was smirking from hands to feel and saying praise and how good you are for him.

“I really hope he’s a boy..” He mumbles one day, leaning into your already round stomach

“I dont think id be able to live if there was a mini you walking around,” you groan in annoyance.

“i love you,” he says suddenly

“i love you too,” you reply

“I was talking to him,” he says, looking up at you and smirking.

you glare at him and at that point decide to ignore him for the rest of the day.

now where did that lead you?

here. legs spread while he slams into you.

“cmon baby, you cant ignore me all day,” he groans, gripping at your hips and basically using you like a fleshlight

“ngh…tobio- gnna mess w..with the kid,” you moan, gripping at the sheets as you approach your third orgasm of the night.

“mess with him hm? how doya think hed like a sibling hm?” he says, whispering in your ear before biting down on your neck.

“T..tobs- he isnt even..fuck..born yet!” you moan, moving your hands from the bedsheet to begin to claw at his back.

“alas, you admit its going to be a boy then, hm?” he says, a smirk evident in his voice.

“No-“ you begin, but youre interrupted by your orgasm. “fuck..fuck..Tobio!!” you moan loudly

“M’close, baby,” he groans, his thrusts growing sloppy yet faster, his grip on your hips grows painful and he pounds you harder, releasing into you with one final, rough, thrust. “fuck, my love, you feel so good,” he sighs.

you mumble incoherent words in response. gently, he wraps his arms around your body, pulling his limp cock from your hole with a soft popping sound. “doya think that made our chances higher of having twins..?”

“baby..thats..not how it works,” you sigh in response

“alas, but it should be,” he says, dramatically placing his hand over his forehead and faking a swoon.

you let out an exhausted sigh and he tightens his grip on you in response. “Shh baby, youre safe with me, no matter how many kids we have theyre going to be so perfect.”

…

“KAGEYAMA ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!” you shout playfully, holding two baby boys in your arms.

“Shh, my love, youll wake them up,” he replies, undoing his shoes.

you sigh and walk over to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “how was practice?” you ask gently, whispering in order to not wake your kids.

“it was alright, thanks,” he grumbles back, clearly annoyed. “my days better not that im home with my three favorite boys,” he says, kissing your forehead gently.

you hum in response, smiling happily at his remark. gently, he grabs your hand and leads you and the boys to the bedroom, placing you on the bed and wrapping his strong arms around your waist. he buries his head in the crook of your neck and closes his eyes, content with the situation.

“I love you,” he mumbles

“Are you talking to me or the kids?” you ask playfully.

END

I REALLY HOPE THAT WAS GOOD ENOUGH LMK IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU WANT CHANGED N I WILL ADD/SUBTRACT ANY PART OF IT. IM SO SORRY ITS KINDA RUSHED 😞😞

GIVE ME KID NAMES PLSS I WANNA NAME THEM LIKE KATSUKI AND KATSUMI BUT I THINK THEY MIGHT B TOO SIMILAR

[lotus-pear]

Can we stop acting like dazai was the devil. Like yes he did bad things but he was a child. He was 15 alone and in the mafia where althe was told to do was bad things. ALL dazai knew how to do is lie and deceive because it what he's always had to do.it's self preservation. Like??? When will people realize dazai wasn't a monster and was justa child brought up in an Unsafe and abusive environment. Behaviors are learned your aren't born with them. Dazai was a suicidal child just trying to survive all'he knew was manipulation and Iying because that's all he was taught. He abused akutagawa because that's all he was taught. And as he got older it's all he knows how to do. Obviously he's gotten better but he's still morally grey. And that's ok but it's not enough to call him a monster. hes trying so so hard to change, and even if he may not realise it or cling guiltily to his past, the entire prison arc shows how much effort hes put in to become a better person it isnt easy, growing up exposed to death/violence resulting in empathy and apathy issues, all while battling an emptiness inside thats slowly eating up ones will to live. hes genuinely trying to recover from that period of his life, and i cannot express how proud i am solely because of that. hes finally found a healthy environment, a family, and he deserves it along with so much more. he may be deemed as a “monster“ in the past, that cannot be erased, but he hates that part about himself too. being in the good or bad used to make no difference to him, but i strongly believe it does hate that part of him.  Dazai slander are fún and everything - BUT people seem to not get his character right. No, he's not an edgy boy. He genuinely wants to change for the best to make Oda proud, 'BUT HE ABUSED AKUTAGAWA’ , yeah, Akutagawa abused Kyoka and nobody is talking about how its litterally GENERATIONAL TRAUMA. Dazal was never raised correctly, he got raised by Mori and used by him to make him his right hand, maybe because of his ability, or he saw potential in him. He never fell parental Love nor being special to Someone except for Oda. "He LEFT Chuuya!!!“ ok and? Chuuya doesn't need him to live: Dazai LITTERALLY SAW PEOPLE GETTING KILLED/KILLING THEM ON THE DAILEY (AND HE WITNISSED ODAS DEATH - THE ONLY PERSON THAT MADE HIM WANT TO CHANGE.) his eyes at the age of 14, and Mori made him live in a shipping container. Obviously he is not gonna feel human after all this.

And about him and chuuya - the thing is they DO CARE ABOUT EACHOTHER. but nobody seems to care about chuuya other than the fact hes hot asf anf the fact that he is ’super mega gay for dazai 🥺🥺🥺’ because are we reading/watching the same series???? There’s SO MUCH to his character too!!!! But all everyone talks about with him is with dazai, chuuyas character is CRAZY WELL WRITTEN and everyone dumbs it down to ‘he’s an angry short boy with a god inside him and he’s mega gay for dazai and he’s also really hot’ like no - stfu he’s not actually super hot headed and it’s CANNON he’s usually pretty calm and collected. On the other side of the coin is that dazai DOES care about him - in Stormbringer ; Dazai literally willing gave Chuuya an option to either use corruption on Verlaine when he used his true form or to retreat and not do it, which gave a sense of Dazai giving Chuuya the choice to do what he wants without forcing him to, and the fact that when Chuuya used corruption, he was being injured badly to the point where Abahabaki was going to destroy Chuuya which FREAKED DAZAI OUT , and the fact that Dazai certainly believes that Chuuya is human shows that Dazai does care about Chuuya in certain ways without showing due to afraid of losing someone he cares about. and In age 15 Dazai, was willing to help Chuuya to find Abahabaki and defeat Rimbaud, along with stormbringer with him helping Chuuya to find out if he's human or not and to defeat Verlaine.

Ty for reading my rant 💞💞💞💞

i can't tell if this is attacking me or just a rant in general but anyway YESSSSS I 100% AGREE YOU ATE W THAT ANALYSIS BRIAR‼️‼️

[safetycar-restart]

i wanna give subby lando a handjob to jus ease his mind. maybe it’s before an event and he’s all jittery and you don’t have enough time to take care of him fully by laying him down telling him to breathe through his anxiety so he has to settle for a hand down his pants (bonus point for when he sits on your lap, breathing into your neck and letting out the softest lil whines)

I... oh my god? I am ALWAYS down for soft hurt/comfort vibes and with lando? Absolute perfection. Anon you are a visionary.

So firstly, I think Lando loves to pretend he's all independent and strong (and bratty) but the moment you ask him if anything is wrong he will just crawl into your lap.

And another thing about Lando, he won't actually verbalise what's wrong until you've made him feel better. Until then he will just whine and snuggle against you and shake a little. He will give you absolutely zero clues as to what exactly he's feeling or what's wrong or what needs to be done to make him feel better. You must find all of this out by yourself.

Luckily, there is two fullproof methods that will always work with lando: laying him down and just kissing and cuddling his entire body and then letting him cuddle against you while you hold a vibrator to his cock and whisper praise into his ear. Or, if there isnt enough time for that, a hand down his pants. A hand down his pants will always make him feel better.

It especially works if he's nervous about an event, because often Lando's nervousness and anxiety will manifest in him just having this uncomfortable nervous energy that he just can't get rid of? You'll walk into the bedroom, expecting to Lando all dressed and ready for his event and instead he's just sitting on the bed, bouncing his leg and whining a little cause he's so scared and it's all wrong and he can't get himself out of this.

You don't have much time, so you have to go to for the hand down his pants option.

I also think when he gets like that, it's best to not even speak to him at first? Like you don't bother actually giving Lando an order, instead you just manhandle him. He's like putty in your hands, letting you move him however you want.

At first you position him next to you on the bed, wrapping a hand around his shoulders to hold him close and lowering your other hand to palm him through his sweatpants. He whines and buries his head in your shoulder, widening his legs so you can have better access.

You play with him like this until he starts begging for more, until you hear quiet little 'please...''s mumbled against your shoulder. Then you remove your hand and tell him to come sit on your lap.

He moves as fast as his little horny mind can make him and he just sits on your lap, his legs on either side of you. Naturally his head goes right back to hiding against your shoulder, because of course it does you must just allow him to hide at all times.

You slip your hand down his sweatpants then, stroking him and he lets out the cutest noises against your neck. Of course you would have far better leverage if you could take his sweatpants off, but you know from experience that if you ask Lando to do that then he will start crying.

So you just make do, playing with his cock in his sweatpants as he whines and shakes in your arms. At some point you start praising him, telling him how cute he is and how much you love him and how good he's being by letting you play with him.

You always know he's going to cum because his hips start moving against your hand. And then when he does cum, his whole body goes stiff and he goes dead silent, making a mess in his pants. The moment it's done though, he's shaking and moaning against you, mumbling thank you over and over again.

You have to clean him up quite quickly, because Lando doesn't like the feeling of drying cum in his pants. So you take off his sweatpants and clean him with a warm facecloth and then give him proper cuddles.

Once he calms down, he'll be ready to get ready for the event.

(And also he'll want another hand down his pants when he gets back because he was very brave at the event and now he deserves a reward)

[namelessdeceased]

theo's guide: how to flunk exams and NOT kill yourself :)

good day! screwed up an exam you say? me too. proof under the cut. coping with it badly? yeah. me too. but we dont want to do that! we want to get up and do better next time! sounds corny as hell, i know. it's hard, i know. but you and i both know no matter how hard we fuck up something, the next exam will come (unless this is your last exam ever ever, in which case good on you!). and nobody wants to feel bad anyway. so here's my extremely-non-exhaustive guide on how to feel not as sucky! reminder that this won't work for everyone!!

breathe in, breathe out. centre yourself.

if you have the peace of mind to do so, take notes while/after the teachers go through the paper on what you should revise. that's pretty important, but you should only do it when you can.

do something that REALLY does not involve that subject. go hang out with your friends for an hour or something. go play whatever game you've been saying you'll play. just take a break from studying for a minute. it'll do ya good.

take a nap! i'd suggest you do so at least. like a good one. if its later in the day, just sleep. as someone who doesnt sleep a lot, it might feel bad, but it won't after a while.

tell someone! it's like every other trouble in your life, venting kind of helps.

remember that this is not the end of the world. it feels like it is, but everything has multiple routes. is this a life-changing exam? mine was too. was this the only route you thought you could take in your life? mine was too. let me tell you, it isnt. will people talk you down? if they do, i'm telling you that it's okay. it will be. you did well. i don't care what score you got as long as you did your best. you are enough, and wherever you go from here, up or down, it is enough. more than that even. you are enough.

breathe in, breathe out. you'll be okay.

sub-tips:

play music that feels good! stuff that bangs. i like rock a lot.

eat something you want! im an absolute dessert sucker.

comfortable environment! overstimulation is horrendous!

call a friend maybe! up to you.

cut for my grades:

grade collection:

math: 92/100 = 92% = A+ = 4.0

history: 22/40 = 55% = C+ = 2.5

chinese: 59.5/130 = ~45% = D+ = 1.5

malay: 56.5/100 = 56.5% = C+ = 2.5

geography: 17/40 = 42.5% = D = 1.0

english: 88/120 = 73.3% = A = 4.0

science: 77/90 = 85.5% = A+ = 4.0

literature: 31/50 = 62% = B = 3.0

see im telling you i didnt do well. it's okay.