#identity confusion

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for identity-less headmates!

For many system members, having a solid or even partial sense of self can feel nearly impossible. Whether traits and interests fail to stick, dissociation-related issues complicate the process of forging an identity, or anything else causes difficulties with having an identity, many headmates may find that they can’t or don’t want to have much of an identity at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this! And this post is for those headmates with little to no sense of identity!

🌫 Shoutout to headmates without names, who can’t ever settle on a name, or who have a name that they really don’t like, connect, or identify with!

☁️ Shoutout to headmates who struggle to find hobbies and interests that hold their attention!

💨 Shoutout to headmates without passions, who often feel empty, unmotivated, or uninspired!

🌫 Shoutout to headmates who desperately want a more rounded out identity, but who haven’t been able to learn anything about themselves!

☁️ Shoutout to headmates whose trauma history has left them feeling like they have no identity or sense of self!

💨 Shoutout to headmates who have no appearance or physical characteristics!

🌫 Shoutout to headmates who are void, mist, fog, static, or whose identities are grounded in the fact that they have no identity!

☁️ Shoutout to headmates who are content with having no identity or sense of self!

💨 Shoutout to headmates who mask as other system members or others outside their system in order to give themselves temporary identities!

🌫 Shoutout to headmates who are symptom holders for dissociation, or for whom dissociation is so bad that they just don’t have an identity at all!

While not having an identity at all may feel confusing, frightening, or disheartening, we want to let you know that it’s okay to just exist as you are. You don’t have to have a well-rounded, steady sense of self in order to be loved, cherished, and cared for! You are a valid and important member of your system just the way you are, and you don’t have to change or adopt any sort of identity in order to be deserving of kindness and respect!

We truly hope you can find that kindness from the headmates in your system and others around you, and can in turn show that kindness to yourself! Know that it’s okay to not want any sort of identity, this doesn’t make you a bad person or less of a member of your system! And if you do wish your identity was more solid, we have full faith that you will be able to achieve this in the future. We hope you can take care of yourselves, and have a great day!

[pluralprompts]

Prompt #1,423

"I don't know who I am," they admitted, voice barely held together enough to keep from cracking. "Do... do you know? Can you tell me?"

[nikitasys]

Plural culture is instantly doubting your own identity whenever you're talking to someone who knows you're a system & they give you The Confused Look™️

'Wait, am I being weird right now, or is someone else being weird, or is someone influencing me enough that it looks like I am being weird but really I'm not being weird I'm just being myself-... WHO THE F*CK AM I ANYWAY ?!'

— Kita, host/caretaker

[forphysicsandimagination]

I keep thinking about two lines from two pieces of media I like. They’re said in different tones and in way different contexts, but they fit together for me so strongly:

“But I’m not a girl. I’m a shark!” - Nimona from the movie “Nimona”

“It would make it harder for me to pretend not to be a person.” - Murderbot from “Artificial Condition”

Nimona is a shapeshifter. She can turn into anything she wants and she does it instinctively, effortlessly. She claims over and over that she’s not a girl or a boy or anything for long. She’s Nimona. And that’s what she says when people ask what she is. I desperately want that freedom. That fluidity of my body. The ability to look however I want and change it save for one or two key features.

Murderbot is a construct comprised of robotic parts and artificially grown tissue. It’s sexless and genderless and has expressed distain at being forced into human categories regarding either of those things. It’s severely autistic coded and thinks humans are dumb and it doesn’t *want* to be a person. Not in the way humans want to. It hates being perceived more than anything. I don’t want people to look at me or notice my existence. I don’t want to be a person either. I want to be a masked construct, just out of the perception of others and not really thought of as a being.

I’m going through some sort of identity and gender crisis and I’m not sure if I’m a girl. And all I can think of are these two characters who emphatically don’t want to be what people say they are and think they are. I want to be like them. And it’s confusing because there are feminine things I love and I’ve been a girl for so long that I don’t really know anything else. And I’m a scientist; I need data to compare to and I have nothing. I just keep going back to these two characters, wishing I was either of them. Not really a girl. Not a boy either. Just me, whoever the hell that is.

[identitypacks]

Promo post!

Welcome to identitypacks, as the name suggests we provide 'identity packs' which are suggestions of things you can use to start discovering your own identity!

This is NOT a 'create an alter' blog. This blog is also not just exclusively for systems, anyone with identity confusion can request something from this blog.

[cat-doggy]

I think I'm having an identity crisis again

Seriously tho, what even am I anymore?

[our-inspire-verse]

I've been super aware of switches and who's fronting lately. I can recognize who's voice is whos, various memories and feelings and body language. I can even almost pinpoint how people talk based on where in my throat or chest they're using my bodys voice

Its taken me probably about 2 years to get to this point and its taken documentation, constant asking myself questions and so much patience

These questions include

Who am i

What names do i resonate with

What do i look like inside

Where am i from

What do i remember

What is familiar about where im at, and have i fronted here yet(often asked at work or in my current home)

How do i know the people around me

Do i particularly like or dislike something

What are my base emotions (alters cant be boiled down to singular emotions necessarily but some tend to experience one more than others and it can help section them off)

How old are they

How many are there

Can they speak or are they semi-verbal, mute, or do they talk in ways that arent words(some use music or animal noises or just communicate telepathically)

There are loads of other questions and its not like i go through the entire list every time but things like this have helped me figure out a lot more about my system. It's about who affects what, what triggers who, and how everyone navigates the world and why.

This may not work for everyone but im hoping this resource may help someone

[mikhaila-bobersky]

Identity crisis Philipenis

Got banned from Reddit for two weeks for this comic.

[thrivingwhilemultiple]

Stories of healing, perseverance, and hope… I’m T.W., we’re the Motley, and we are thriving with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).

[venuscxre]

Another day of identity crisis y’all (im actually gonna jump off a cliff)

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey have yall (including viewers of blog, not just mods) ever experienced this thing where you're not sure if theres a new alter, or if someone already there just has a new identity?

it feels kinda silly, cause like, guys, changing ur identity won't help us avoid the irs :P

Hey, we (and specifically I, the host) have definitely experienced this. It happened a lot more before our syscovery (I used to think I was Ralsei fictionkin before learning about my alter, Ralsei, for example). It doesn’t happen nearly as much these days, but it does definitely still happen to us from time to time. It can be tricky to tell whether a particular alter is discovering a new kintype, gender, sexuality, or other aspect of their identity, or if there actually is a new alter that we’re interacting with.

We also experience this sometimes with like, well established alters who have been in the system for a long time. Like occasionally I’ll be like “wtf am I werewolfkin? Am I actually mlm and not a lesbian??” But in reality I was just cofronting or blending with Toby and just didn’t notice lol. Usually when we start having thoughts like this, one of us will speak up to clarify the situation.

So yeah, you’re definitely not alone in experiencing this. And as always, if anyone who reads this wants to share their own experiences with confusing new identities for new alters or headmates, you’re welcome to share.

[pluralprompts]

Prompt #2,006

Headmate A came into existence at a confusing time for their system. As a result, they have no idea what their origins are – but as they search for answers, they must grapple with an even bigger question: could they be okay with never knowing why they exist?

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Having niche identities and label can be fun! But focusing on the label and seeing if they fit or worried about it…it’s a lot. Like I’m a goth? Some other alternative group? What fashion and music do I like? Do they belong into this subgroup? Am I a witch? Otherkin? Therian? Trans?

All these labels and identities crash and swish around in my head and it mixes into a weird muddy soup. It’s overwhelming 😓

Makes me feel like a mud puddle or a giant void :/

[dissociative-memes]

Text reads: “You. Who is you”

Found on the meme generator

Repost from http://web.archive.org/web/20181201095214/http://whynot-dissociativedegu.tumblr.com:80/tagged/ddmeme/tagged/ddmeme/page/2

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

I'm hardly gonna judge for it, but it's fascinating how over time, more parts decided they like being called ‘it’ as a pronoun. It's kinda funny, even. Maybe it's because of how foster care intentionally dehumanized us so much. Maybe it's how people also call cats ‘it’, and we feel special kinship with them because they were kinder than humans a lot of the time. Or maybe think of it like this: “It's a creature.” “It's real, really there.” “It's just trying to live and prosper.” “All it wants is to be happy and loved, like anyone else.”

Hell, even I like using it as a pronoun now. I like being referred to as ‘it’, in a “fuck you I'm owning this shit now” kinda way. I know some parts still get awkward, but it's a blend of gender euphoria and just quite seriously enjoying it as a matter of spite.

At the same time, because of the main use of the word ‘it’, I also feel less compelled to act like a proper ‘person’ at all times. Humans are still just silly adorable animals that developed enough curiosity and self-awareness to ask the really big questions about life (fun fact: sometimes the questions are more important than the answers). Calling myself it also reminds me that I'm here and as real as anyone or anything else.

In private, we do strange things. Sometimes we entirely hang traditional ideas of human identity up at the bedroom door. We're human as a matter of biology, and that's enough for us.

I hate when people are obsessed with what it means to be human, as if the experience alone isn't the only set meaning, and the rest is up to us to decide. Because the meaning of our individual lives is just that simple. We live, and make the rest up as we go along. Sure it's hard, but no one else's ideas will ever be quite as satisfying as your own personal meaning.

Organized religion and shit? Those are the social structures for belief in a meaning to life. They're what you hang the drapes of your personal beliefs on, ideally. But sometimes you have to actively search for the right framework to use. And yes, some presented frameworks are outright dangerous to use, and should never have been made.

(To the rest of the system): I think the twenty-five years of isolation and only music reaching me left me with a penchant for philosophy. The music did, of course, teach me poetry. I'd like to look at what I managed to push through to another part.

-Kitt 🏮😺

[wearequantum]

brain: makes hyperspecific alters with different names, sexualities, political stances, styles, etc.

system: 👍

brain: creates mental barriers so thick that the alter fronting can't even tell who they are

system: 👎