#veritas x reader
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aventurineswife · 15 hours ago
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The character waking up from a horrible dream where they lose their partner (aka reader dying in that dream), but then they turn around and see that their partner is just sleeping beside them. Desperately reaching for their partner for comfort and accidentally waking them up to their panicked state. (Veritas, Feixiao, Kaveh, Sunday, Aventurine.)
“I can't live without you”
Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Feixiao x Reader, Ratio x Reader, Sunday x Reader, Kaveh x Reader, Angst, Nightmare, Vulnerability, Emotional Comfort, Dream Sequences, Protective Partners, Fear of Loss, Love, Reassurance, Intimate Moments, Angst with Happy Ending.
Warnings: Disturbing Imagery, Panic Attacks, Emotional Vulnerability, Desperation, Fear of Loss, Sensitive Topics (Death), Mild Violence (in dreams), Strong Emotional Themes, Intense Emotional Turmoil.
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The dream was relentless. An endless void of ignorance threatened to engulf him, and at the center of it all was you. You stood before him, your light snuffed out, your voice a distant echo. No matter how hard he tried to reach you, the abyss swallowed you whole, leaving him powerless to stop it.
Ratio shot upright in bed, his chest heaving with the remnants of panic. The cold sweat that clung to his skin felt foreign and unwelcome. His eyes, glowing faintly in the dark, darted toward your sleeping form.
For a moment, he froze. There you were, your chest rising and falling steadily, your face serene in the dim light. A flood of relief washed over him, nearly buckling his usually unshakable composure.
He reached out, his hand trembling as it brushed against your shoulder. The contact was feather-light at first, almost hesitant, before he gripped you firmly, pulling you closer as if to anchor himself in reality.
You stirred, blinking up at him in confusion. “Ratio? What’s wrong?” you murmured, your voice thick with sleep.
His gaze softened, but the panic still lingered in the tightness of his grip. “You... You were gone,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically fragile. “I couldn’t save you.”
You cupped his face gently, your warmth grounding him. “I’m here,” you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Ratio let out a shaky breath, his head resting against your shoulder. For the first time in a long while, he allowed himself to be vulnerable, holding you close as he whispered, “Forgive me for waking you. I just... I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”
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The battlefield was a blur of chaos and carnage, but the one thing that stood out was your lifeless body lying in the rubble. Feixiao screamed, her voice a guttural roar of anguish as she fought to reach you. Her enemies fell like leaves before her fury, but no matter how fast she moved, she couldn’t save you.
She jolted awake, her breath ragged, the echoes of her nightmare still reverberating in her chest. The room was dark and quiet, the only sound the steady rhythm of your breathing beside her.
Her eyes locked onto your figure, her heart twisting painfully. “It was just a dream,” she whispered, but the weight of it felt too real.
Feixiao reached out, her hands trembling as she brushed your cheek, her calloused fingers gentle despite their strength. She pulled you into her arms, her grip firm but desperate, as if holding you could chase away the lingering shadows of her dream.
“Fei?” you mumbled, your voice drowsy and laced with concern.
She buried her face in your hair, her breath warm against your neck. “I thought I lost you,” she admitted, her voice wavering. “I... I can’t lose you.”
You wrapped your arms around her, your touch soothing. “I’m right here, Fei,” you said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Her hold on you tightened, her body trembling as she whispered, “Promise me. Promise me you’ll stay by my side.”
You nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Always.”
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The dream was a nightmare of ruin, a vision of a world where his creations had crumbled, and you had been lost amidst the destruction. Kaveh ran through the chaos, calling your name, but there was no answer. When he found you, it was too late.
He woke with a start, his heart pounding so violently it felt like it might break free from his chest. His eyes darted to your side of the bed, and when he saw you sleeping peacefully, a choked sob escaped his lips.
“Kaveh?” you murmured, sensing his distress even in your half-asleep state.
Without thinking, he threw his arms around you, holding you close as if to shield you from the horrors of his imagination. “You were gone,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I... I couldn’t save you.”
You gently ran your fingers through his hair, your touch grounding him. “It was just a dream,” you reassured him, your voice soft and steady.
“But it felt so real,” he said, pulling back slightly to look at you. His eyes glistened with unshed tears, and his vulnerability was laid bare. “I don’t want to lose you.”
You cupped his face, your thumb brushing away the tear that escaped. “I’m not going anywhere, Kaveh. I promise.”
He nodded, his forehead resting against yours as he clung to you. “I’m sorry for waking you,” he murmured.
“You don’t have to apologize,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “I’ll always be here for you, just like you are for me.”
And as Kaveh held you close, the weight of his dream began to lift, replaced by the warmth of your presence and the steady beat of your heart.
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Sunday stood amidst the ruins of a paradise he had once protected. The Sweetdream Paradise, once lush with life and hope, was now a barren wasteland of ash and silence. He called out desperately, his voice echoing through the void. The weight of his wings dragged him down, feathers dull and tattered. Before him lay the figure of his partner, lifeless, eyes dulled and empty, as though the very essence of their soul had been drained away. He reached out, but their form disintegrated like sand slipping through his fingers.
"Why...?" he whispered, the words barely audible as grief swallowed him whole.
Sunday's eyes flew open, eyes wide with panic. His halo trembled slightly, its eye-like symbols flickering as if responding to his distress. His breaths came shallow and fast, the weight of the nightmare still pressing on his chest.
Then, a soft warmth brushed against his side. He turned his head swiftly, his hair falling in disarray. There you were, peacefully asleep, your chest rising and falling with each gentle breath. The sight shattered the tension in his chest, but a trembling hand reached out instinctively, brushing against your cheek to confirm that this was real.
His touch stirred you, and your eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze. “Sunday? What’s wrong?” you asked, voice groggy but laced with concern.
Sunday’s wings trembled slightly, and he let out a shaky breath. “It was… just a dream,” he murmured, though his voice betrayed the lingering fear. His hand cupped your cheek, his touch tender yet desperate. “I thought I lost you.”
You shifted closer, wrapping your arms around him, grounding him in the present. “I’m here,” you reassured, your voice steady as you pressed a comforting kiss to his forehead. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Sunday clung to you, his usual composure giving way to raw vulnerability. In the quiet darkness, his arms enveloped you, cocooning you in a protective embrace as he murmured softly, “Thank you… for being here. Always.”
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The roulette wheel spun endlessly in Aventurine's mind, the clicking sound echoing like a heartbeat. Across from him stood the shadow of his partner, their image fractured and fading. Each spin of the wheel chipped away more of their form, the glow of his eyes reflecting their dissolution.
“No!” Aventurine shouted, his voice cracking as he slammed his fist on the table. He scrambled to stop the wheel, but it only spun faster. Their final words, faint and haunting, reverberated through the emptiness.
“You gambled... and lost me.”
Aventurine bolted upright, his breathing erratic and uneven. His left hand instinctively reached for his neck, his fingers brushing against the slave mark he always wore on skin. Sweat dripped down his brow, and the room felt suffocatingly silent.
He glanced to his side, panic lacing his movements. Relief crashed over him like a tidal wave when he saw you lying beside him, your expression serene in sleep. He reached out hesitantly, his fingertips ghosting over your arm before he placed his hand firmly on your shoulder. “You’re here…” he whispered, his voice trembling with disbelief.
The urgency in his touch stirred you from sleep. Your eyes opened slowly, meeting the wide, almost desperate gaze of Aventurine. “What’s wrong, Kakavasha?” you asked, using his real name, a softness in your voice that instantly calmed him.
For a moment, he couldn’t speak, his smile faltering as raw emotion overtook him. “You… you were gone,” he admitted, his voice breaking slightly. “I thought I lost you, and—”
You cupped his face gently, grounding him with your touch. “I’m not going anywhere,” you promised, your thumb brushing against his cheek. “I’m here. Always.”
Aventurine let out a shaky laugh, his usual charm slipping as he leaned into your touch. “You’re too good for me,” he muttered, though his grip on your hand tightened, betraying his fear of letting go.
You smiled, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “And yet, here I am.”
In the dim light of the room, Aventurine wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close against his chest. “Don’t ever leave,” he whispered, the words a quiet prayer as he buried his face in your hair. For the rest of the night, the man who always took risks held you close, unwilling to gamble on anything that might take you away.
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squiddy-god · 5 months ago
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HSR men and manhandling
Manhandling HCS pt one?
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Ok so this is actually just because i have lust in my heart lmao- this came to me in a dream so buckle up, i am definitely willing to do more characters because i have thoughts- reminder that i often write smut from an afab perspective but that its gn! Because i am a trans man so ftm reader you guys are my faves <3 this is for everyone tho. These are lowkey long-
♥︎REQUEST ARE OPEN ♥︎
ARGENTI, BOOTHILL, DR RATIO, JING YUAN 
Cw: smut, suggestive content to just straight smut, man handling,dom!/top characters. Established relationship, biting, no pronouns (afab anatomy), implied chubby/bigger reader, PDA, slight exhibitionism, mentions of bath sex,mentions of oral (m & f receiving)  Description of touching hair (no texture described), aftercare is given even if not fully described  i have so many thoughts 
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Argenti 
Ok hear me out-
He doesn't do it on purpose, argenti to his core is a gentle lover
But he's a knight of beauty and quite strong, throwing around a huge spear as if it was nothing, effortlessly defeating monsters in his pursuit of beauty
And until you, he traveled alone, you are truly a blessing from Idrila and who is he to refuse such a blessing. 
Argenti naturally just waxes poetry to everyone and everything, it ramps up with you, it's more tender and loving. The other thing is that he's more physical, kissing a lock of your hair, the back of your hands, embracing you, dancing with you etc. this is where the problems is (its not a problem i NEED this man)
Argenti doesn't often show physical affection with anyone besides his beloved (you) so he sometimes forgets his strength, and while he could NEVER dream of handling you in any way except with tender care and the touch of a gentleman 
He ends up manhandling you. 
Argenti also loves you with everything, sex is special, its connection, it is devotion 
And he is DEVOTED 
Gently grasping your hand and waist to pull you into his embrace simply so he can admire you? The force is enough to (literally) almost sweep you off your feet
Drawing your body close to his, the music drowning out the noise you make as he moves you to dance with him. 
It's like you weigh nothing to him, he can simply move you however he wants.
Often sweeps you off your feet because he forgets that most can't just sweep you into one arm while the other cradles your face. 
What's hot about it is that he is literally manhandling you with such a tender expression you almost forget the way his hands grip your hips as if argenti is trying to commit the feeling of your plush body to his memory (he is) 
Argenti is a giver in the bedroom, but the manhandling continues 
Asks before he does literally anything- can he move your hips up? Can he kiss you? What do you need from him? 
But once he has your consent on permission THIS MAN FOLD YOU IN HALF
If he's giving you head/eating you out? Consider your legs PINNED DOWN, once you tell him that he can finally have a taste he is dragging you across the soft sheets of his bed and DIVORCING your legs. 
His favorite position for eating you out is him sitting on the bed with your legs slung over his shoulders and a bruising grip on your hips and thighs holding you up like its nothing, he likes it because it makes it so easy for you to look up at him while he maintains the most loving eye contact you have ever received. 
Back to Argenti folding you in half- he will be balls deep in you panting and huffing while he's practically slamming into you, his hands grabbing at any part of you he can reach, tummy, thighs, love handles- anything. He let out a breathy moan asking to move you “just a bit” and when you nod your head with a whine he's dragging you closer and throwing one leg over shoulder before leaning down to ask for a kiss, practically pressing your knee to your shoulder. 
Always is so shocked at how sore you are despite the fact he was bending and folding you like origami- he truly doesn't realize just how much he throws you around.  
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Boothill
It wasn't intentional…at first
Once he realizes just how much he man handles you (and how hot and bothered it gets you) it is 100% intentional 
He is a menace and is unashamed of anything
His metal body is a lot stronger than a human body is so there is a lot more that he can do
Boothill is unashamed, he dosn’t give a fuge who sees, in fact- a more possessive side of him is very happy to see the the stares he garners with his hands around your waist practically dragging you along with his long strides
Boothill’s two favorite activities include pulling you towards him by the waist, and holding you there when you try to squirm away as he bites and nibbles your cheeks
Traveling with boothill is dangerous so shootouts with ipc and any other bounties he's hunting aren't uncommon, neither are hasty escapes where he hoists you up and slings you over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes
Honestly him throwing you over his shoulder isn't uncommon even if it's not for a hasty escape
Oh the cyborg sees you talking to someone he thinks is getting a little too friendly? He doesn't care how much you protest he is dragging you away 
Back to the shootouts, if he sees your gonna get punched, shot or otherwise harmed he is pulling and pushing you all over the place like a ragdoll after all his reflexes are a lot quicker than yours so 
Another one who likes to dance (did you see those moves) and he’s not even sorry as he pulls you against him to dance, laughing as he moves you. 
The more boothill knows you like being manhandled the more he does it- sometimes it's really just to tease you
Pinning you down in your cair before letting you get up, all while hes laughing at how flustered you get
Boothill’s manhandling isn't so much about folding you in half but more so keeping you there- 
He loves to throw you onto the bed- after he's hauled you off from a far to friendly chap, or a gunfight he will throw you onto the bed as you bounce slightly 
This mostly happens once you are both safe from a bounty or gunfight- artificial adrenaline pumping through the tubes he calls veins and it has him itching to have you 
Pinning your hands above your head and kissing you with a little too much teeth
Dirty lip biter
He bites his lips when he's pissed off (often) and when he kisses you (also often) so you should both invest in chapstick because your lips are bit to high hell by the time boothill pulls away
Big big fan of fucking you against a wall- might as well put this metal bod to work in his opinion, and what a better way to use it than to grab fistfulls of thigh and ass while your legs rest on his cold hips? 
Its perfect because he only needs one arm to hold you up, the other free to roam and pinch where he wants 
Chronic ass slapper
If he sees an opportunity to smack your ass he. Is. taking. It. 
You alway know because you hear the clink of his boots and the accessories against him and the loud wolf whistle he lets out.
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Dr.ratio 
The good doctor is somewhat oblivious 
He acknowledges that sometimes he dose move you in a way that would be considered manhandling but is mostly unaware of the effect it has on you
The difference with ratio is that so much of  his manhandling is in a domestic way, 
Oh he needs a mug for his tea and you are doing something in front of the counter where the cabinet is? Prepare for a stong hand on you waist and he moves you to the side like you are little to no obstacle
Oh you are getting swept up in the crowd? Fear not for veritas places a hand on the small of your back to guide you with him as he practically cuts through the crowds. Really its more of pushing you but really whos complaining?
Personally i am a fan of men who are closet/secret FREAKS and veritas ratio is a freak
I think hes rather possessive in the sense that while he is wholly confident and secure in himself and you- afterall why would you leave him for some idiot 
It is a small irrational feeling that plays into the fact he is quick to annoyance and anger 
The temper of the dr is well know tho very rarely directed at you 
It is moment like this that hes more hands, his hand a death grip on your shoulder or the plush softness of your waist as his words cut harshly to the person getting to friendly 
You are HIS idiot (affectionate) 
One of the best (read: hottest) things to watch him do is sculpt. I hc that beyond stone and marble ratio also dables in clay and pottery (im bias)
Watching this man wedge clay is an ✨experience ✨, his thick toned arms that flex with earth movement, the way his back is pulled taught and his palms press the clay against the surface.
Hes practically leaning over it and grunting (wedging clay is an arm workout) . I mean how could you not watch that slack jawed wondering when it's your turn? (i'm gonna write suggestive ration on the wheel) 
IN THe BATH?? Not enough ratio bath sex in my life tbh but this man is aughhhhhh
Ratio likes his baths, warm relaxing water and a good book? Perfect 100 points. Having you with your back pressed against his chest? Extra credit 
Dr ratios love languages are info dumping and acts of service change my mind. He likes to be useful, a deep seeded need to help people, and especially you. He likes to wash you in the bath, from washing your hair to scrubbing you clean he wants to help so just relax into putty in his arms 
He doesn't hesitate to turn and maneuver you however he needs to scrub and clean you and he manhandles you because you're a bit slippery. His grip is more firm (when is it not?) 
One thing he does slightly unintentionally is turning your face/head to face him/look him in the eyes. His hands grab your jaw or squish your cheeks as he turns you to look at him making sure you are paying 100% attention 
Same with kisses, a firm hand at the nape of the neck pressing you further into him. 
Guess what? Its your turn because this touch starved man is grabby it isnt a want he needs to be grabign at anything he can rach his hands practically kneading your soft flesh while you get flipped and folded. 
This man is a dr…he knows all the angles that make you writhe and he intends to exploit them even if he has to pull out and fold you in half before pushing himself back in 
Big fan of pressing down while kneading your stomach right where he knows his cock is so deep inside you 
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Jing yuan 
The lazy general 100% dose it on purpose, hiding behind that warm grin despite his actions 
Most of the time he is very gentle, but there are times when his work becomes rather taxing and he needs a small break 
The small break being waiting for you to walk close enough only for his strong arms to wrap around you and pull you down into his lap where you will NOT be leaving 
This is his main form of man handling, pulling you into his lap and holding you in his iron grip
Big fan of naps and he will often pull you into the optimal sleeping/cuddle position whenever he gets the chance to
Oh your arm is falling asleep? Don't worry he just picks you up and maneuvers you to basically lay on top of him
He lights the weight of your body, his very own weighted and heated blanket 
He plays the fool but there is a distinct twinkle in his golden eyes when he sees the way you grow flustered whining about how your in his office and-
But it doesn't matter to him because he needs this- so just stay in his lap a little longer 
He's even worse in bed- his work keeps him busy so he feel that he needs to compensate by absolutely rocking your world
Really it depends on the time of day- ironically you get manhandled more in the mornings when he wakes up hard and absolutely aching for you
In the mornings when you are both still sleepy he drags you closer to him, kissing up your shoulder and neck until he has you begging for him in that morning voice he finds so irresistible, 
Wastes no time spooning you, letting out a groan as he slides inside you and rocks you against him- his hands have a firm bruising grip on your hips as he rocks you against him with force 
One hand remains on your hip to keep up the punishing pace while the other holds your jaw so you twist to kiss him- and he cant get enough, he slams you back against him rougher and rougher until you are both satisfied and he is all but forced out of your shared bed. 
The second is at night when he has you on top of him, riding him while his hands grab your ass and thighs, throwing your weight around while he looks up at you with the same lazy grin he always has
As if he isn't bouncing you along his length just waiting for you to stutter from the burn in your legs- all an excuse to pick you up and pin you back against the bed under him- 
All an excuse to be able to leave open mouth kisses against your skin while he has his fill of your pillowy softness 
In summary he knows exactly what he's doing and he knows exactly how riled up you get when he uses just a little of his strength on you. 
Don't let the drowsy grin on his face fool you. Menace through and though 
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zvyozde-kra · 6 months ago
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The Veritas Eyes 🌛
Illustration Portrait
Date: 09.08.24
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bioblsm · 7 months ago
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WHAT DOES THEIR CAMERA ROLL LOOK LIKE?
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❀ ꒰warnings꒱. boothill backstory spoilers, not proofread ಥ_ಥ
𖧷 characters. jing yuan, blade, dr ratio, ruan mei, aventurine, sunday, boothill
☆彡 notes. aventurine 🤝 boothill — being some of the most gay ass mfs i’ve seen in a hyv game (apart from bronya and seele) seriously their flamboyance still gives me whiplash…anyways this has been on my mind for months now but i’ve never gotten around to writing it!!! >_<
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JING YUAN 𐚁 景元
[◉"] 2,304 photos, 83 videos
⌖ if you scroll really fast down or up his gallery, all you’ll actually manage to see is splotches of pink, blonde and silver
⌖ everything ranges from cute candid shots of yanqing (he takes multiple if yanqing’s fallen asleep while on duty), to sneaky pictures of fu xuan as she’s working where he’s in the foreground doing peace signs — the final picture of course being her looking at the camera lense directly to glare up at him
⌖ reaching weekends when he’s slightly a little more free or allows himself a small break to stroll around town, his camera roll is either filled with pictures of food he’s eaten or swords that yanqing may or not definitely ask about that he’s now more inclined to buy as he’s seen them in person (he’s a boy dad who loves spoiling his child, alright?)
⌖ the large majority of his photos unfortunately are work related, only really the recent ones being deleted from his gallery to clear up some space
⌖ however, while his photos are preoccupied with either his two kids or random scrolls with messy and rushed handwriting, each video is of you; jing yuan thinks a picture would belittle your beauty too much.
⌖ he needs something a little more real, a little more active and animated to help him quell the chirping loneliness that creeps up on his heart whenever you’re away from him for a prolonged period of time; if he’s feeling particularly mischievous he might sneak a quick but blurry picture of himself to send to you ♡
BLADE 𐚁 刃
[◉"] 9 photos, 2 videos
⌖shit is BARREN. literally a complete EMPTY VOID. if you snatched his phone somehow you’d assume he just got it despite him not having changed it ever since he received one
⌖ perhaps on the occasion you’ll find a cameo picture from one of the stellaron hunters as his phone is left unoccupied and someone decided to blast his entire gallery with their face (silverwolf specifically just hacks into his phone to keep putting random screenshots he’s never taken in his gallery to make him believe he’s taken them)
⌖ maybe sometimes he’ll screenshot different ways to die or health clinic locations he can avoid when he’s fortunately bleeding out but otherwise? nothing.
⌖ if you’re a massive yapper and love sending him pictures, he won’t go out of his way to download them for later usage (whatever that may be…) but he also won’t go out of his way to delete it if it’s accidentally automatically downloaded on his phone — maybe elios intended for it to be there?
⌖ it’s quite nice having a reminder of his significant other where he doesn’t have to actively listen to their voice… that’s a little exaggerative; but he loves just mapping out the features in your face, it helps him sleep just the slightest bit better with no ailment if he’s able to trace your features like a constellation on his blank, dark wall
DR RATIO 𐚁 真理医生
[◉"] 1000 photos, 100 videos
⌖ call it a form of ocd, but he NEEDS to have a decent ratio (i didn’t even mean for this to be a pun i’m so sorry) of his photos to videos; he doesn’t care if it’s 10:1, 2:1 1:5, he needs something that’s at least somewhat pleasing to the eyes
⌖ ratio immediately deleted anything he doesn’t need or thinks he won’t find use in for at the very least the month (this includes every single cameo shot aventurine or you have taken of yourselves on his phone without his permission, which by the way, he didn’t hesitate to scold you two for)
⌖ maybe if he’s feeling particularly loving (when is he ever?) he’ll allow ONE picture to stay.
⌖ his camera roll is purely filled with test results, written exams, student emails he needs to read over, things concerning the guild or the ipc and secret purchases of ducks he’s made (he’s not ashamed, he just doesn’t want you to know he’s buying ducks that are bigger in size every time so he can fill your shared bathroom)
⌖ realistically, maintaining such a perfect ratio of photos:videos is rather impossible unless you’ve got impeccable timing with things you save and delete so, in order to bypass this, ratio made a photo library to help serve as a base number of sorts
⌖ that photo library is of course a secret and locked haven filled with pictures and videos of you, none of which you can even recall taking. all of them hold at least some sort of significance to the both of you, but the ones that dr ratio loves the most is the ones that are just natural
⌖ the ones that show you being yourself, whether it’s where you’re cuddled up near a blanket reading something with a leg hiked up over the sheets or where you’re sleeping with your mouth wide open because you’re sick and unable to breathe through your nose properly; he loves it all
RUAN MEI 𐚁 阮•梅
[◉"] 505 photos, 28 videos
⌖ she tries to keep it as neat as possible; that means no sneaky pics taken of her by you, accidental blurry shots she’s taken (god forbid, those ones are immediately scrapped and done anew especially if related to an experiment of hers) thought that doesn’t mean she clears it in the regular
⌖ ruan mei actively saves any photo you send her, sometimes she’ll even screenshot the chat itself if she finds herself clutching at her heart as she swoons over a few lines of flirting that apparently you couldn’t hold yourself back from due to how much you missed her
⌖ she’s not someone really sentimental so despite having photos of her little cake-cat hybrids, she rarely ever rechecks them unless the trailblazer sent another report on their status to match
⌖ honestly her memory is impeccable to the point she doesn’t even need screenshot reminders of things like dates and experiments saved (would it even be called machine reductionist to call her a walking computer model at this point?) therefore, anything she saves that’s work or science related probably has more intricacies that she can account for
⌖ her gallery is a little boring otherwise. for someone of her morally grey standards you’d expect at least something worth mentioning, maybe even something dumb like a secret recipe she uses to make the sweetest (anti-truth serum…) pastries but no— nothing.
yet the reason for that is very blatant; not even her beloved has the privilege to witness her mendacity.
AVENTURINE 𐚁 砂金
[◉"] 8,793 photos, 777 videos
⌖ it’s a complete and utter mess to say the very least; dr ratio refuses to so much as glance at it whenever he’s near and topaz just gets an ick:
“how do you even manage to find anything?”
“luck.”
⌖ his photos range from absurd, to sweet to egotistical. things that remind him of you such as random rocks he finds, alcoholic beverages that have the same colour scheme of an outfit you wore the night before, an animal he saw that he swears if reincarnation was real would so be you
⌖ he has a specific library for just solely screenshots based off your chats, most of them including a significant amount of “i love yous” and goodbyes that promised a little something more when you met up next; everything that aventurine utterly cherished and craved
⌖ …and then the rest was either him showing the background of him photobombing others, pictures he took to send to you (or one of the ipc members to piss them off, sometimes even the trailblazer for a cheeky laugh) and on the even more popular occasion, all his extraordinary wins whether it be in poker, pool or uno
⌖ compared to his photos, his videos are slightly more interesting. a near 50/50 split that ranged between him telling dumbass jokes to piss off his coworkers, recordings of the back of dr ratio’s and or topaz’s head just for the future laughs (he likes the reminder that he does actually have friends and they aren’t just deliberate hallucinations born of loneliness).
⌖ but of course, all his “favourited” videos involve you somehow. sometimes it’s just a slip of your name while he’s sneakily recording a meeting, him telling you he misses you or vice versa, other times it’s just when he feels like he has a home. you snuggled up on his chest, hands intertwined together as your breathing nearly synchronises with him…moments where he feels as though he could forget the trademark imprinted onto his neck.
SUNDAY 𐚁 星期日
[◉"] 777 photos, 111 videos
⌖ now as much as i want to say “oh it’s all you! he has a special folder for you <3” i unfortunately can’t.
⌖ it’s almost most definitely videos of robin’s concerts, solo shows, videos he stolen off of audience members with good seats when he wasn’t available to personally hide in the crowd…a lot of the photos are also the same way; robin’s promotional pictures, screenshots from her recent advertisements and negative hate comments or news stories that he’s going to personally deal with later
⌖ that doesn’t mean he values or priorities you over his sister, absolutely not. you two are the only people in his life who he would unironically take down the skies and survive utter torment for if it meant your voices were the last things he heard as bellowing winds sliced past his eardrums to tune the world out in order to hear his own final breath
⌖ he tries his best not to be sentimental or nostalgic, as he’s been told as he grew up into the bright and maybe just slightly tragic and guilt-infested man he is today, those things in his eyes are an innate weakness of humanity. clinging onto something thats not tangible anymore.
⌖ but he can’t help but hold on to every video you send him. every picture of you smiling, laughing, every text of you saying i love yous, quoting love songs to him or showing him pictures where you jokingly said “that’s us” (did he tilt his head a few times when you kept sending animals to him with that particular correspondent message? perhaps, but it never made him blind to the intentions).
BOOTHILL 𐚁 波提欧
[◉"] 12,113 photos, 191 videos
⌖ he truly doesn’t gaf (give a fork) about how messy it is, all the things that are genuinely important are already locked and loaded into his noggin’, there’s no point in being frugal with the space he’s been given on a little cellular device
⌖ you wouldn’t believe it, but he rarely uses it unless it’s for emergencies. there’s plenty of trouble that comes around when you’re a galaxy ranger, which means having a constant tracking device on you like a phone that you update daily is a stupidly bad idea; which is precisely why his photo gallery is a mess
⌖ he quite literally can’t go in and clear it out otherwise it risks giving out sensitive information.
⌖ not applicable to you, that is. in boothill’s eyes, you’re an “emergency”. if you’ve texted him, it’s obvious you want his attention, which potentially means you could be in danger and he has to rush to the rescue like the flamboyant cowboy he is (no he absolutely knows you don’t need help, but there’s always that nagging “what if” factor, you know?)
⌖ he inwardly blesses whoever invented screenshotting because it would be an understatement to say that little as half of his gallery is littered with you. he’s just a bit of a boomer when it comes to technology like this, despite being a whole walking charging port himself ehem, so a lot of the pictures he has saved of you that you sent over whenever he cutely pleaded;
“missing ya, send me a lil�� somethin’ wont you?”
unfortunately are uncropped and framed with the outline of whatever messaging app you’re on.
⌖ if he lets you scroll up far back enough, maybe you’ll get to see just a glimpse of how similar his adoptive daughter’s smile was to his
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© BIOBLSM ✮ do not copy steal or repost
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tricoloreddango · 13 days ago
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☆how to deal with possessiveness☆
Hsr men (Jing Yuan, Dr Ratio, Aventurine, Gallagher) x gn! reader
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Cw: nothing but fluff with them being possessive and cunning bastards; slightly yandere depending on your perspective [BACK TO M.LIST]
Jing Yuan
Jing Yuan, gardening boyfriend of yours, loved to take you to the market to help him pick out new plants for his garden, even if you had a feeling he did not need more.
While he was browsing through different options for his garden, you strolled away a little, as you found a stand with pretty, potted flowers, ones you think would decorate your room well.
A man selling said greeneries, was quick to offer his help, advising you which flowers are more and less easy to take care of. You were so enchanted by their pretty petals, you didn’t notice that this seller was a bit too eager to help you out. However, Jing Yuan observing you from the side, side eyeing you two as he pretended to look for plants, noticed culprit’s intensions, clear to him.
Right when you were about to buy one of the flowers, you felt a firm hand between your shoulder blades, and heard your boyfriend speaking up. “Hold on, darling. This flower, usually is not blue…” he advised with an apologetic shake of his head. “It’s dyed blue. It’ll be white again once it’s regrown.”
“Really?” you said with disappointment, as you picked the flower for this specific color. You believed your boyfriend immediately, especially with his gardening skills. You were even bit mad the seller didn’t bother to tell you that. Jing Yuan tried not to smile in satisfaction. “Yes, but don’t worry. I’ll help you find a real, blue flower, as pretty as you.”
When you smiled wide for him, so happy your plan wasn’t ruined, he led you away from the stand, as you complained a bit about the seller. “I can’t believe he was trying to sell me something so scammy!”
“I know. You can’t trust these sellers these days…” he nodded along with feigned disapproval, internally feeling glad you listened to his advice so easily. The flower wasn’t actually dyed and going to turn white, but in his defense, he’d buy you a pot even better than the one you saw.
Dr Ratio
Veritas has been rather too busy for you lately.
You received a new PC part, one that needed installing and one that you couldn’t install on your own. You were ready to buy a service to let a professional do it for you, but Veritas, a genius he was, told you that of course he can easily do it for you.
And of course he could. But he didn’t, constantly telling you he’ll do it later, saying he’s busy. You understood that well, knowing his work often kept him busy, so you decided to not bother him about it anymore and finally receive help you needed from someone else.
Your luck happened to have your neighbor offer his help for free, finding it to be a quick and easy fix. You gladly accepted his help, and let him install your computer CPU when Veritas was at work.
Despite his offering being for free, you decided to thank him with a cake you’d bake. When your boyfriend came home, he was curious of your decision to bake. “Having a sweet tooth again?” he said calmly, as he greeted you with a quick kiss to your cheek. You smiled at him and explained it’s for your neighbor who helped you with your computer, thinking Varitas will be glad the issue was resolved.
Instead, his expression was one of slight shock and something like annoyance, though it was directed at himself.
He failed you. Despite acting nonchalant more often than he should be, deep inside, he wanted to impress you a bit—be your hero to install that damn CPU, have you thank him and kiss him and say how skilled he was. He felt utter defeat, losing his chance to fulfil his fantasy, because he kept evading your request. Some neighbor was better than him, the one to make you smile and bake cake for. Not him.
“I…I see,” he said with some disappointment. “That’s good to hear…hopefully your computer serves you well now.”
From that day on, Veritas made sure to never ignore your ask for help.
Aventurine
Aventurine loved to dress you up and spoil you, making sure you always look good and represent him well during his visits to the casino. He quite often felt torn between showing you off, being so cocky and giving everyone the look that says “yes, this beautiful person is with me”, and having you look so gorgeous for his eyes only.
As he was playing one of his little games at the table, he had his arm around you not so nonchalantly, as he gladly showed you his cards, and, rather shamelessly, snickered to you about his opponents on the opposite of the poker table.
He enjoyed the occasional look of envy other people would send him, but his good humor died when he noticed one of them check you out, their eyes going up and down, before licking their lips.
You were so engrossed in calculating Aventurine’s next move, you looked at him only when he whispered into your ear. “How about you help me with staying motivated? Can you give me a little kiss for each time I win?” His request did not surprise nor fluster you. You were a level of shameless yourself, not afraid to show affection publicly. Worse things happen in casinos anyway. It was just his lack of losing that bothered you, contradicting the motivation argument.
“But you’ll win anyway,” you said bluntly, making Aventurine laugh, not at all offended by your dry humor he found only charming; at that, you were leaving his opponents feel embarrassed to hear it from someone they were attracted to.
“That’s true. But can’t your boyfriend have an excuse to kiss you?“ he said teasing you, and looking at you with both warmth and something more intense than usual, as he stroked your waist in a possessive manner. You were not stupid, and you were catching up with his feelings he tried to hide from you. And the loving partner you were, you decided to indulge your boyfriend in his scheme.
So you leaned in to kiss him when his next win came, leaving his opponents even more envious, and Aventurine as twice satisfied about flaunting his beloved being only his.
Gallagher
When your boyfriend’s shift in his bar was coming to an end, you came to him to visit. Sitting by the almost empty bar and sipping on your favorite drink Gallagher brewed for you, you had a man sit next to you. Nothing special should it be, just another client to catch a drink before the bar is closed.
As Gallagher turned around behind the counter for a moment, the stranger was so ready to take his chance and bravely hit on you. Before he could even have a chance to do so, your boyfriend, as if having a flirty people radar in him, talked to you first. He’s been observing the man entire time, being able to notice signs of eager men after years of working here.
“Do you want to come behind the bar? You said you wanted to learn how to make your favorite drink,” Gallagher said with an encouraging smile, to which you happily stood up, and walked behind the counter, unaware of his intentions of saving you from a flirt you wouldn’t want anyway.
As he taught you the recipe, he made sure to have his hand placed on your hip, and to turn around to send the man a look saying “sorry not sorry, buddy”, while you were happily making your mixture.
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rationaliity · 9 months ago
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ratio who, once he takes out his contacts, can't see more than a few inches ahead of him. he's got glasses and he'll sit in bed reading a book until he's sleepy enough to actually fall asleep ( he's got a fast-running mind, it's hard to go to sleep most nights for him ) he's the kinda guy with the grandpa glasses with the glasses chains that let it dangle on his neck when he's ready to take them off.
waking up in the morning, he's so disorientated that he really can't see you at all. he can see your vague form, probably still asleep, but he can't make out your details. it's not until he hears you shift that he knows that you're awake, and he waits expectantly until he feels the familiar sensation of your lips on his, his hand finding its way to your cheek even while unable to see you very well, like his body knows yours innately. he's used to having his five senses isolated, so he was able to explore you as if he could see you with crystal clarity.
" good morning, dearest, " you'd whisper, your forehead against his as you shuffled as close as possible, your arm lazily wrapped around his torso.
" good morning, " he'd gruffly reply back, his voice sounding rough and ultimately failing to capture how peaceful he felt in this moment. mornings, while he was never usually a fan, were the only moments of his life where his brain wasn't constantly going with problems that he needed to solve.
mornings were the few moments of his life where you were the sole focus of his world. ratio wasn't a morning person, but he loved mornings.
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cherrylovelycherry · 3 months ago
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Okay, maybe Ratio x gn!reader tarte aux fraises? i know u love ratio muehehe
.note. omg oke oke, i know what i have to do. ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ (I always end up writing so many words that I have to erase pieces of the original idea. T_T)
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𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises."
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Try hard
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pairing. dr ratio x gn!reader cw/genre. angst, academic pressure, ratio being rude, again. synopsis. Like he said, you just need to try hard. And if you can't handle the pressure, what better than to withdraw from medical school? full menu
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"No," His eyes on you, by those sharp words, coming together with the other glances of your classmates.
"Uhm, would it be a possible case of appendicitis?" You spoke, something nervous, but your words were almost like a question rather than an affirmation.
"Wrong,"
His voice again, almost as if he were glad of your mistake.
"Are you answering or are you asking me, Y/N?" Ratio spoke, almost with a despicable tone.
You just looked down.
It was almost always the same, for him, all your answers are wrong, he always had to find something wrong with what you said.
"If you're going to answer again as your classmate, refrain from talking and just say you didn't study anything." Ratio said, for all your classmates in the room.
"Honestly, I don't even know why I still continue teaching some of you."
Oh, and you knew perfectly well that he was referring to you.
He says, almost as if your existence were a total nonsense for him.
"All of you are dumb, you all have the same level of intelligence as an Earthworm, maybe a little less than one even." His words come out almost sharp again.
"How can it be possible you can't even answer the simplest question?" Ratio spoke out, almost frustrated by the lack of intelligence on most of his students.
Your cheeks became red, the way Ratio spoke was always so harsh, so harsh and direct, and even more so if it was you who answered a question, he never missed an opportunity to show that you were wrong in front of everyone else.
"Now, that's enough chit-chat, back to the topic." He looked at the board, his expression was somewhat serious, his arms behind his back, as he stood in the middle of the classroom.
"The appendix is a small, worm-like structure that branches off the back of the colon. It's located in the lower right lobe of the abdomen. The main problem with appendicitis is when it becomes infected and then blocks all waste product from leaving the colon." He spoke, standing at the front of the class.
"What does that mean?" he spoke again. This time with a much easier question than he asked you.
"Mhm, you," he pointed to a student.
"…That means all the waste from everything that comes through the digestive system doesn't have anywhere to go, and can back up into all of your abdominal cavity," She said, with some nerves, but keeping her words as firm as she could.
"Correct." He spoke, as he saw her answer, with a much calmer expression this time.
"The appendix becomes inflamed and very sensitive when an infection begins to form in it. You can experience fever chills that go down into your groin like cold water. The most common pain is in the abdomen, specifically in the lower right side. It can be mistaken for a stomach ache, or even menstrual cramps. But with further care, it can be determined as appendicitis." Ratio speaks again, almost a little happier.
"Anyone else?" He asked.
"If there is no intervention, it could explode," this time you dared to speak again, trying to sound firm.
"A precise answer, even from you, for a change," He spoke with a little more than a sarcastic tone, but as usual, he can't seem to say anything without adding an annoyed tone to everything he says.
"That's true. An appendix that is left untreated can burst, or perforate. But not always because of pain close to the appendix area will be necessary to remove or attempt an intervention." He says, as he returns to look at the board.
"If the appendix bursts, the pain might go away, but a much worse process, is going to start. The appendix will begin to break down, and the bacteria and pus from the organ can pass into the abdominal cavity, causing a widespread and severe infection. This is called peritonitis." Ratio spoke, his voice almost firm, and serious again.
You felt somewhat calmer, but still, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious.
Was it necessary that I always talk to you like this?
Because after all, you were his partner.
Ratio kept his eyes on you for a few moments, as if analyzing your expression. He almost always knew when you had those thoughts.
As he finishes speaking, the class bell begins to ring, almost as a sign that the class just ended.
"You are all dismissed." Ratio said, putting his hands behind his back, his eyes looking at the students as they began to leave the room.
You focused on keeping your stuff, without a hurry, because you weren't very excited to eat in medical school. The food wasn't so good or appetizing there.
The room was getting emptier and emptier, except for just the two of you, since you were the last one to leave.
Ratio leaned against the front of the desk, and crossed his arms in front of his chest, he had something in mind to discuss with you.
"Y/N." His voice came out quite firm, and almost demanding.
"Yes?" Your voice almost sounded like a whisper, a whisper of nervousness, still, you answered him.
You could already feel what kind of a talk he was going to have with you now
Ratio seemed quite serious, his eyes almost fixed on you, as if analyzing your every move.
He waited a few seconds before speaking. He still retained his serious expression.
"You're falling behind on a lot of the classes." He spoke, with an almost severe voice.
You just looked down.
He knew that you didn't always answer very intelligently, but it seemed like he just liked using every single opportunity he got to be harsh on you.
His arms were still crossed in front of his chest, keeping his position in front of the desk.
"I know…" your voice came out a little smaller this time.
Ratio sighed, he didn't change his position or expression, on the other hand, yours became somewhat more tense, you already knew that he was far from finished.
"Not only that," he continued to speak, his voice now more demanding.
"You don't usually answer my questions as intelligently as you should. You answer in ways that are almost as unintelligent as the others." he spoke again, his voice slightly higher than before.
"You know you should study more."
Again, a tone that seemed somewhat irritated.
"I am,"
"You're not." Ratio continued, his voice suddenly became very firm.
You can't help but feel even more self-conscious, more tensed than before.
He was right, even if he was, he didn't always have to say it that way.
"I don't even know why you're still in this class, if you've answered right a small percentage of times."
"But i'm trying, Ratio," You spoke, this time directing yourself towards him as your equal, as you did in private.
"Trying," He repeated. "You are just not trying hard enough."
Ratio's hands now moved from his chest, to his sides, still leaning against the table.
That didn't seem to change his expression at all, the same seriousness.
"You need to study more, you need to stop falling behind so much, to be more firm, and at least,"
He stopped, for a few seconds, as if thinking of his next words.
"To answer my questions correctly more times than you already do, stop with this mediocrity."
His tone became almost more severe.
"Honestly, I don't know why you don't take your time to pay more attention." He continued, with that severe, demanding tone.
"You're not in your old secondary education anymore, these are more complex medical concepts to treat complex diseases."
He said again, still keeping his tone and position.
"I'm going to try harder," you said.
"You better."
Ratio's answer was short, but the seriousness with which it was given almost made you even more tensed.
Again, a few seconds of silence, Ratio seemed to be thinking of his next words.
"I'm going to start being more demanding with you…" he spoke, leaning a little more against the desk, his eyes still fixed on you.
"I won't let you pass with the bare minimum in my classes" The feeling you have after you hear those words is the most nervous of all.
Ratio always got that demanding, and hard tone when talking to you about studies.
You know perfectly how serious he was when he said that.
"I won't go easy on you anymore," he says, in a much firmer tone.
"From now on if you don't answer correctly more times than you do now, you won't pass my classes."
Ratio was very strict with his classes, and even more so when it came to you.
"No more mediocre answers, I want you to start actually using that brain that you have." His tone now very demanding.
"You are going to start giving more intelligent answers, and not stupid ones that any other student could give."
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A few days have passed since that talk between you and Ratio.
He has become much more demanding, and much stricter with his classes.
His questions were much harder to answer, and he always waited for intelligent answers from you.
He had put you in the spotlight every time you were in class, he had increased the number of questions he asked you, and every time you answered, he seemed to be analyzing your every word.
But of course, you noticed, in your nervousness after saying 'medium-great' answers, how your classmates didn't answers difficult questions like you. Not to mention that there were always two or one student whom he always congratulated for her efforts.
Ratio continued with the same demanding attitude, continuing to set high standards for you.
He kept asking you difficult questions, and even if you answered one correctly, he would go on to another, more complex one.
He didn't miss a single opportunity to point out your failures, and you could always see the satisfaction on his face, whenever you got the answer wrong.
Even now, you can feel his gaze on you, as if he's waiting for you to say something wrong, to see him frown.
The way he seemed to be always focused on you in the class, no matter how hard you answered the questions.
Everyone could tell that even though you were his partner, he didn't spare you from his demands for answers.
You had to constantly use that huge book, and study more and more every day. It was becoming tiresome because you barely had time for anything else, and on the other hand, your classmates seemed to be studying less than you.
The bell for the end of class had just been rung, the majority of the class was already picking their stuff to leave.
But you knew very well that Ratio was still there waiting for you to approach.
And yes, you were going to do that.
With calm steps and somewhat anxious, you approached the large desk near the board.
"Uhm, Veritas?" You said, carefully.
"Can we eat together?" You asked, knowing that after this class he would no longer dictate another one in the day, and you too, had no other class for today.
Ratio was sorting through some papers, putting them in various folders on his desk, with that same serious expression he had the rest of the time.
When he heard your voice, he stopped sorting papers, and looked at you.
His eyes seemed sharper every time you looked into them.
Without taking his eyes off you, he placed the last folder in place, and rested his hands on the table.
He didn't answer immediately, as if he was thinking about your request.
"Is there a reason?"
Ratio's tone was somewhat firm, his eyes still fixed on you, as if questioning why you, out of nowhere, suddenly wanted to eat with him.
"No,"
You didn't really know why, either.
Maybe it was because you didn't want to be left alone. Or maybe because you needed a break, your brain had been filled with so much knowledge, so much information that you felt it was going to explode.
"I just want to be with you," Your voice coming out a little more nervous this time.
Ratio was still looking at you, his eyes, very much analyzing you, as if he was searching for a real reason.
It was always like this with him, he never answered anything immediately.
Still, he didn't take his eyes off you, as if he was analyzing your thoughts, your request, and your every action.
Finally, after a few seconds, he spoke.
"Did you study?" He spoke, with that demanding but firm tone. His gaze was still fixed on you.
Your body slightly tensed up. You knew that if you hadn't, he probably wouldn't eat with you.
Even if he was your boyfriend, he was always like this.
"I did," Your voice came out with a small firmness, you actually spent the night studying.
Ratio kept looking at you carefully, his expression didn't change, he seemed to still be analyzing you, as if searching for lies in your eyes.
"How many hours?" His tone was still demanding, but he always made sure to correct you, to be even firmer with his words.
On the other hand, you were getting nervous. It was true that you spent all night studying, you didn't even have time to sleep, but if you said that, he would probably make you feel guilty for it.
So to not prolong the question, you gave a firm answer.
"Six hours, I swear."
Your voice was still firm, but nervousness was clearly expressed in it.
Ratio didn't change his expression, his eyes were still fixed on you, as if he could tell if you were lying or not.
He kept looking at you, in those few seconds he didn't say anything. Still looking at you, until he broke the silence.
"You haven't slept any?" His tone was much more demanding this time, his brows slightly furrowed, as if telling you that it was a mistake.
You knew perfectly well that it was a mistake, you already regretted it the moment you said it.
A small feeling of guilt took hold of your body, knowing that you were about to be scowled for that.
"No…"
You said, trying to keep your voice somewhat firm, but nervousness was present in it.
Ratio crossed his arms in front of his chest, and his eyes became more severe, almost with annoyance at your answer.
You knew perfectly well that that would happen.
"How are you going to study properly if you don't even sleep?" He questioned, in a demanding tone, as usual.
If you didn't sleep, he would scold you and if you slept, he would scold you too.
At the endings, it happened, as always, you even shed a few tears.
And it seems that that gave him remorse and he ended up agreeing to eat with you.
Your eyes were somewhat swollen, not much, but they were.
He made sure to hold your hand while eating quietly in a cafe near medical school.
You could notice how he was looking at your eyes almost every second, as if seeing the tiredness in them.
He almost looked like he felt guilty for making you cry, but he would deny it.
Ratio knew how demanding he could be, and how it could affect you.
But of course, he didn't apologize, because that would imply admitting that he was wrong.
You could see how he squeezed your hand, carefully while eating, as if making sure that your hand wouldn't slip from his.
It was quite obvious that he felt regret for making you cry. No matter how hard he denied it, his actions and his grip on your hand would always give it away.
The rest of the lunch was a little quiet, both of you only spoke a few words from time to time, not a lot.
He still continued to eat in silence, watching you from time to time.
His grip was firm on your hand, a little tight, but it didn't bother you, it was rather calming for you.
When he finished eating, he got up, and pulled you to get up from your chair.
He still had a firm grip on your hand.
"Let's go." Was the only thing he said, as he started to walk out of the cafeteria with you, your hand still attached to his.
Ratio started walking, with you following behind with your hand in his.
He wasn't walking too fast, or very slow, he was walking at a reasonable pace, but he made sure that you kept up.
He pulled you to stick to his side, and he made sure to look at you every few seconds.
You were walking in almost total silence, no one dared to say anything, and this was a little strange. Normally he was the first to say something.
His tight grip on your hand, his way of looking at you from time to time, made you feel a little nervous, but at the same time calm.
He didn't say anything as he walked, but you dared to say something.
"Where are we going?" You asked quietly, looking up slightly at him as you walked.
He looked at you, and his grip squeezed yours a little. Ratio spoke again.
"To my apartment." He replied, in the same firm tone.
"To your apartment?" You were a bit startled by that answer, because there was no way he was taking you to his apartment.
"Don't be tense." Ratio said, his tone was somewhat firm, but softer than before.
Before you could say anything else, he continued to speak, his words were firm and demanding, almost leaving no room for questioning.
"We're going to there, you're going to take a shower, and then you're going to take a long nap.
"I don't-"
Before you could reply, Ratio quickly cut you off. "I don't care what you're about to say, you need to rest."
He spoke with that firm but authoritative tone.
"You're going to take a damn shower, and you're going to take a damn nap for as long as it takes to get you back in shape."
In a way, that made you smile.
His actions showed you that he still cared about you.
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The last few days that had passed, were… very different. You spent them at Ratio's apartment.
Each day ended with him scolding you for studying so much, and falling asleep on his couch on several occasions.
You loved those moments with him, in spite of everything, you were really in love with him.
However, as quickly as those butterflies arrived in your stomach, they disappeared faster than they appeared.
"Incorrect again, Y/N,"
He said, holding his hand to the bridge of his nose.
"U-uh…" you said, feeling watched and judged by all your classmates at that moment.
You were currently in practical classes, you no longer just theorize.
"Less than a minute for the patient to bleed," he commented again, ratio, with total disapproval in his speech.
You stayed there, thinking about what to do, your mind running in circles to decide what to do.
And, without further ado, the girl that Ratio always congratulated, took her tweezers from your hands, starting to suture the patient.
You felt so stupid in that instant, the classmate that Ratio always complimented, always approved of her, even congratulated her, had just taken your tweezers from your hands.
You felt the gaze of your classmates on you. You could see that they were either feeling sorry for you, or judging you.
Ratio was silent, he looked irritated, but he wasn't scolding you.
The classmate who took the tweezers from her hands, finished suturing the patient completely, in what seemed to be a couple of seconds.
Talent always wins the effort.
"You've failed another suture." Ratio spoke, almost annoyed by your failure.
As always, whenever you made a mistake, he was always making sure to point it out, making sure to shame you in front of the rest of the class.
His disappointment was evident on his face, in his tone, his gestures.
"It's ridiculous, you can't even put a few damn stitches on a fake wound. How are you going to be a real doctor if you're always messing up everything?" His words were harsh, very much. His expression and his eyes, sharp, as always.
"You're not taking this seriously, you're making the same mistakes again and again." He continued, in the same irritated tone.
How could someone who studied so much, who spent many hours studying, fail so much? How could you fail so much, even though you spent so much time with the person who always seemed dissatisfied with you?
Your classmates' gaze, Ratio's gaze, your own self-judgment, and your frustration for being a complete failure, was too much. You felt your eyes begin to tear up, you could feel your hands shaking. You felt more and more nervous with every word coming out of his mouth. It wasn't just from the pressure, it was also from the frustration.
How was it possible, that he had so much patience, and complimented your classmate, even celebrated that she could suturate a patient, when you couldn't do the same?
His words, his looks of disappointment, they were starting to take their toll on you.
"You're right, doctor," you said, accepting his words, so that he would at least stop scolding you publicly. Ratio kept looking at you, that annoyed look still on his face.
You looked really small in his eyes. Small and weak, a complete failure. That's how he saw you at that moment.
"At this rate, I'm tempted to say that you're never going to be a good doctor."
You just nodded, not knowing what to answer, or if you should respond to that in the first place. The medical career was not easy, there were always scolding for everyone, but not scolding all classes with him.
You heard him say, 'Well, let's continue…', as he moved on to another kind of exercise.
You let your other classmates get closer to the practice stretcher, staying at the end of the group.
All you just did was play with your fingers and bite your lip, so you didn't cry. Because you couldn't even get out of the practice chirophan, because you'd have low grade. Although well, what a lower grade could he put on you if you already pulled the first exercise.
You looked up in the direction of Ratio, who was correcting a couple of your classmates on something. He was always correcting something, especially you.
Your eyes were beginning to become slightly red.
You really hated the suturations practices, you were never good at putting in a few damn stitches.
You were always clumsy, and your hands always trembled when you took the tweezers, like they were shaking now.
Why weren't you as talented as them? Why couldn't you even do something as simple as suturing?
"You're shaking, are you alright?" A voice came from behind you, you recognized who it was immediately.
It was the classmate who always did sutures perfectly, the one Ratio always complimented. She had a worried expression in her eyes, but you couldn't help but feel complete rejection and repulsion towards her.
Her question made you feel more humiliated.
"I'm fine." You replied, trying to sound firm, when in reality, your voice was on the verge of cracking.
She looked at you, not seeming to buy the answer you gave her.
She could see your hands shaking and you were biting your lip, it didn't seem like you were fine.
"Are you sure? You don't look very-" she tried to speak once more, but you didn't want her to continue.
"I said I'm fine, alright. Stop asking me that." You said, a little harshly, hoping that would make her shut up. Her eyes widened slightly at your response, she was surprised by your response. But, instead of being angry, she continued to look sorry for you.
"I'm just trying to-" she was about to say something again, but you were already fed up with her.
You were fucking jealous of her.
"Well, I don't want you to! Stop acting like you care about me!" You snapped at her, your voice louder than you expected it to be.
The rest of the class had turned their heads at you, including Ratio.
Why the hell did you do that?
The whole room was silent, the only noise present was your agitated breathing.
Ratio walked up to you, his eyes firmly on yours. He looked irritated, no, he looked angry at your reaction.
"To the hallway, now." He said firmly, gesturing for you to walk towards the hall.
You felt the eyes of your classmates on you, as you slowly walked out of the class, with Ratio behind you.
Once you got into the hallway, he closed the door behind him, leaving both of you alone in the hallway.
He looked at you, you could see irritation in his eyes.
He was completely irritated with the attitude you just had.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He said, his voice almost sounded like a whisper, but still firm.
"Why the hell did you lash out at her like that?" He continued, he was waiting for an answer, an explanation for your behavior, and he wouldn't accept any bullshit excuse.
You stood there, not knowing what to say, and avoiding looking directly at him.
You didn't know how to explain your attitude, you yourself didn't even understand why you had done that.
Maybe it was because you were irritated, annoyed by her, or just because Ratio paid more attention to her or others than to you, no matter how much you studied.
And you couldn't understand why that girl was always so perfect either. The perfect student, the one who always did the exercises and sutures perfectly.
You were increasingly sure that talent far outperforms effort.
As you stood there, avoiding looking at him, Ratio was growing more and more impatient as the minutes passed. He expected some explanation, an answer to his question. But all he got was silence and you avoiding his gaze.
"Are you going to answer or just stay there, biting your lip?" He spoke again, this time with a firmer tone.
Again, you stayed there, still and saying nothing.
"Okay, then," he said, entering the practice chirophan and closing the door behind him.
You stood there, outside the practice chirophan, alone, on your own, with only your thoughts swirling around your head. You could still hear your classmates continuing practicing suturing in the chirophan, while you were left outside.
Your mind was a mess, going from one thought to another, from one feeling to another; anger, frustration, confusion, disappointment.
And jealousy. A lot of jealousy.
You could hear Ratio's voice, scolding other students. And again, you heard him compliment the girl who always does sutures perfectly.
She was talented, she was perfect, the best student in his eyes. He seemed to adore her, much more than he praised you.
It was not possible to know with that man, he was a mystery.
You walked over and sat down on one of the seats in the hallway, your body completely tired. Both physically and mentally.
Poor girl, you were jealous of her, when not even she did it on purpose to be better than you.
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The lesson was finally over.
You were sitting in the hallway, waiting for the whole class to leave, so you could enter and say something to Ratio.
But, to your annoyance, the girl who always did the perfect sutures, was one of the last to leave.
She was going to talk to Ratio, it was obvious.
So, you stayed in the hallway, watching as Ratio and that girl talked for a long time.
She looked happy, with a smile on her face. Ratio seemed in a good mood, he was listening to her speaking calmly. In fact, he was smiling, he was never usually that warm.
That image, that situation, it only irritated your mind more.
But you wouldn't do anything, because there was nothing to do.
Besides that in medical school, he was your teacher, not your boyfriend. So professionalism on his part was always ahead.
As the last student left, Ratio opened the practice chirophan and found you sitting on one of the seats in the hallway.
He looked at you, and for the first time, he had a slight hint of disappointment on his face.
He just looked at you for a few seconds, almost as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't.
He just let out a slight, silent, almost inaudible sigh.
"Come here." He said, gesturing to you to walk towards him.
You stood up, from the seat. You were about to walk towards him but, you suddenly felt nervous, your heart beating a little faster.
What if he wants to discuss that you're always getting low notes on the practical work?
Or maybe he wants to tell you that your effort is useless, because you'll never be as good as the other students.
Or even, he wants to kick you out of class for your recent behavior.
However, his words surprised you.
"I'm going to help you study," he said.
You really expected another scolding from him, but his words were soft.
Perhaps the excellent work of the best student in your class had change his mood.
"But I don't-"
Before you could respond, he cut you off, almost knowing what you were going to answer.
"I wasn't asking you, I was telling you." He said firmly.
He wasn't leaving room for questioning, if he was going to help you study, there was no use in trying to decline his offer.
In spite of everything, you couldn't help but get excited.
The thought of having his attention, and having an extra private class with him. You were really going to like it, you wanted to be alone with him.
In a way, it was a great opportunity to show him what you were capable of doing, and that you too had potential.
He gave you a small smile, as he saw the reaction on your face. And then he added, "We're starting today."
You liked being next to him, you feel like at school, almost like a teenage romance.
You were writing carefully what he explained to you, while he had an arm on your shoulders.
It moved you and made you nervous, even though your relationship was almost two years now.
He explained, corrected and commented, as usual. You nodded, listened and wrote what he said.
Everything was going well, until he suddenly paused, and he let out a sigh.
"There's something important I need to tell you." He said, suddenly, in a serious tone.
Your hands suddenly froze halfway between the page and writing. His words, his tone, his gaze. It made you feel nervous, your heartbeat increasing.
"What is it?"
Your voice came out in a somewhat nervous tone.
For a few seconds, he was serious, he didn't say anything, he just looked at you.
His eyes looking into yours, in a somewhat serious and intimidating way, before his expression suddenly change to one of slight annoyance.
"What the hell was that, what you did the other day?"
Ratio asked, suddenly changing the subject of the conversation.
You tensed up a bit, and bit your lip.
You knew immediately that he was referring to the little tantrum you threw, that day.
"I was…" you were at a loss for words, you didn't know what to say.
"I was just frustrated." You finally managed to say, your voice a bit low.
"Frustrated, right."
Ratio responded, in a slightly mocking tone.
"So you were frustrated, and you decided to take it out on a classmate, in front of the entire class?" Ratio looked at you, with that same serious and slightly annoyed expression.
Your heart was beating fast, you felt slightly guilty, knowing you acted inappropriately.
"I know it wasn't the best way to react, but…" you tried to explain yourself.
"No buts." He cut you off. "You embarrassed yourself, and you embarrassed me with your poor and childish behavior. As your teacher, I shouldn't have to deal with your tantrums.
His words stung a little, you felt ashamed.
But there was something else, behind his words. The mention of 'As your teacher'.
"I know, I'm sorry." You mumbled, looking down to the floor.
"I expect you to act like an adult. So I hope you'll apologize to your classmate." He said.
"I will."
You said, still avoiding his gaze, you didn't want to see his eyes, to see his expression.
That day wasn't the only one he helped you study on.
But as always, for him, everything was wrong in answers or in your diagnoses.
As you wrote down one of the last points of the list he had given you, he spoke up, looking at what you had written.
"That is incorrect," he said as he looked at one of the points.
You looked up at him, your eyes wide at his words. How could it have been wrong? The doubt began to consume your mind, and you felt frustrated that you weren't able to do everything perfectly.
Your frustration was beginning to grow, you had just spent hours studying and here he was telling you that you had all the things wrong.
You tried to protest, you tried to explain your answers, but he shut you down every time. His voice became sharper and firmer every time, he was losing patience with you and your constant mistakes.
Finally, he slammed the book on the table, the loud noise echoing through the empty room.
"That's it, enough. You're not getting anything right," he said, his voice stern.
You felt a pang in your chest from hearing his words. How was it possible that not a single thing you wrote was correct? Why couldn't you understand the concepts? Why were you always making mistakes?
Your hands began to tremble as you clutched the pen in your hand, your heart beating fast
You wanted to scream out in frustration and ask him why you weren't getting the answers right, but you knew he wouldn't be patient with you anymore.
"You should try harder, I'm going to do an exam on these topics for you all," he said.
And yes, you had to study alone, as you normally did.
But you didn't really understand why you didn't get any answers right.
Literally that's what books said, your answers were even the same.
So, what was happening to you?
That test was going to be in a week, and you were extremely stressed about it.
You had to prepare for the exam given by Ratio, but it wasn't easy. Despite reading the material multiple times, something wasn't clicking in your head.
The formulas, the methods, the diagnoses, nothing stayed in your head. And when you attempted to answer the questions, you found yourself making mistake after mistake.
After studying a few nights on your own, it was time to take the exam.
The day of the exam had arrived.
The atmosphere in the classroom was tense, everyone seemed nervous. You were shaking, your hands trembling as you clutched the pen. Everyone around you seemed to understand the material, but you were struggling.
Ratio started handing out the test sheets to each one of you, until he reached your desk.
He placed the paper in front of you, and your breathing hitched.
You dared to hold your gaze on his, for at least a while, looking for some security that he could give you.
But there was no security in his gaze.
He didn't give you any special look, no secret glance or anything that could make you feel more confident.
His expression seemed serious, almost like a challenge. It was clear that he expected nothing from you, to his eyes you weren't going to do the test well.
He knew it, and you knew it.
And as he finished handing them out, he spoke.
"You have an hour to finish. Start now." He announced, before going back to his desk.
You looked down at the questions, and your heart sank.
They were difficult, they were complex, and they were things you had never seen before.
You felt your hands begin to sweat, and your mind went blank. You tried to recall the information you had studied, but it was like trying to remember a forgotten dream.
The other students around you seemed to have no trouble with the test, they were already beginning to answer the questions.
But you, on the other hand, were stuck on the first question. The words and numbers on the page became a blur, your mind in complete mess.
As minutes passed, you found yourself still struggling with the first question. Meanwhile, other classmates were already on the second or third.
The pressure was immense. You tried to focus, you tried to concentrate. But your mind was racing, your heart was pounding in your chest.
You could hear the sound of the other students' pens on the papers, the ticking of the clock on the wall, the silence of the classroom.
Every sound seemed to echo in your head and only added to your anxiety.
Time was ticking by quickly, and you could feel your anxiety growing with each passing minute.
You had already spent 45 minutes on one question, and you hadn't even reached the halfway point.
Until you saw some of your classmates raise their hand so that Ratio could approach them and answer their doubts about some questions.
They were getting help, while you just sat there, panicking.
You wanted to raise your hand, to ask for help, just like the other students.
But you didn't do it, you didn't dare to. You felt too ashamed and embarrassed to admit that you were having so much trouble with the test.
You just continued staring at the exam, trying to decipher the questions.
And, with only 4 questions out of 20, you dared to raise your hand as well, so that he can get closer as well.
You looked up a little bit on your exam, watching it approach students back and forth.
Your still hand raised, you even moved it a little bit, to see it.
And so he did, he saw you for a few seconds, before approaching another of your classmates.
Your heart sank again.
You couldn't believe what had just happened.
He knew you were struggling, he saw you with your hand raised. But despite that he avoided you and went to answer someone else's doubts.
You felt a pang of pain in your chest, like a stinging realization.
Ratio didn't want to help you, he was ignoring you.
You weren't like the good students, the ones he always said were talented. You were just the one who couldn't understand anything, no matter how hard you tried.
You lowered your hand again, feeling humiliated.
With your cheeks somewhat red from shame, you lowered your gaze towards your exam, almost empty.
You tried to do it, you really tried.
Without realizing it, your eyesight was blurred, as you continued to try to write down what you found most coherent.
You were crying in the middle of the exam. But what a shame.
Well, at least you didn't sob, you just let the tears slip out of your eyes, because because your head was somewhat tilted down, it was more accessible for the tears to come out.
The time passed, and the other students handed in the exam sheets, one by one. And you were still on your seat, trying to come up with at least a minimum of sense.
The tension in the room grew with each passing minute.
You could feel the weight of everyone's gaze, even if no one was looking at you directly. It was like everyone was silently waiting for you to finish, to see if you could do it or not.
But the answer to that was becoming more and more evident with every passing minute.
And yet, you still tried, you tried so hard to write something.
You felt a knot forming in your throat as you tried to hold back your tears, but it was difficult.
Ratio's words echoed in your head again, "You should try a little harder."
How much harder did he wanted you to try? You were already struggling to keep up, and now you were literally crying.
With all your effort, you managed to answer some more questions. But still, the test paper looked almost blank.
Many of your answers were incorrect, even if you had tried your best.
When the time finally ran out, Ratio spoke up.
"Time's up," he said in his usual strict tone, standing up from his desk. "Those of you who haven't handed in your sheets, do so now."
You felt a wave of dread wash over you. You were one of the few who still had the papers on their desk.
Slowly, you raised your head to see that almost everyone else had already handed their papers to him.
With shaking hands, you gathered the papers on your desk and got up.
Your legs felt weak, but you somehow managed to make your way to the desk.
Ratio was there, waiting for your paper. He looked slightly indifferent, as if he was expecting this outcome.
You handed him the sheets with trembling hands, feeling a sense of shame and embarrassment. The weight of your poor performance was heavy on you, and you avoided meeting his gaze.
He took the papers without a word, and as he did, your eyes darted down to the answers on the paper.
You could see his expression of disappointment.
And it was worse than what you imagined.
Red marks and crosses were all over the page, almost each answer was incorrect.
After a week, he returned the exams to everyone in the classroom.
You didn't know how to hide your grade from the students sitting near you.
There was a big 0 on the exam cover.
A 0, no points at all. You had failed the test completely, and the evidence was there, for everyone to see.
The shame and humiliation hit you like a wave. Everyone was looking at their grades, comparing them and discussing among themselves. You wanted to sink into the floor and disappear.
Ratio spoke up again, drawing everyone's attention. "As you can see, the results of the exam were… Disappointing."
He said, his eyes skimming over the class.
His eyes landed on some students, commenting on their good grades.
"But, there were some good grades. Congratulations to those who did well." He spoke, in a matter-of-fact tone.
You knew you'd never be like them.
When he finished the class, it was relatively short, as most of the time it was used to solve the exam together.
You rushed to grab your stuff by keeping your exam in your bag, before you left the big classroom, feeling nauseous.
The rest of the day passed by, but the shame and humiliation from the exam still lingered. You couldn't shake the feeling of disappointment, and the thought that you were the worst in the class.
You tried to avoid your classmates' gazes, fearing they would whisper or make fun of you.
The hours went by slowly, until the day had ended. You found yourself walking back home, feeling down, with your head hung low.
And then, you suddenly heard a voice calling out to you. "Y/N," the familiar voice said, and you froze.
You knew who it was.
Slowly, you turned around to see Ratio standing there, a few metres away from you. His expression was serious, his eyes fixed on you. Your heart started racing again, and you nervously clutched your bag strap tighter. What did he want?
He walked closer to you, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
He stopped a few steps away from you, looking down at you.
"Can I talk to you for a moment?" He asked, his voice firm. You swallowed hard, nodding silently.
You were too afraid to speak, your throat was dry, as if you had never swallowed saliva again.
He motioned for you to follow him, as he walked towards a quieter part of the hallway, where there were less classroms.
Finally, he stopped in a quieter spot, turning to look at you.
He looked directly into your eyes for a moment, his gaze intense.
There was a moment of silence before he spoke, his voice softer than usual.
"I suppose you know why I wanted to talk to you," he began, tilting his head slightly.
You nodded again, knowing what he wanted to talk about. The failed exam.
"Yes…" you whispered, your voice barely heard.
He let out a small sigh.
"Your performance on the exam… It was quite unsatisfactory."
His words were straightforward, he didn't hide his disappointment.
Your heart sank even further.
He was saying what you already knew, what he already wrote on the paper of red marks and crosses.
"I didn't expect much, to be completely honest. But I didn't expect such…bad results." He added, raising an eyebrow.
His words hurt, but you didn't say anything, you just stood there, looking down.
"I just don't understand," he continued, "I made sure to explain the concepts thoroughly. Why did you fail so badly?"
His tone was serious, he really wanted an answer from you.
"I really don't know," you mumble. Ratio let out a small huff, clearly not satisfied with your answer.
He looked at you for a moment, his eyes studying you.
"You know, I've been teaching for years. I've seen many students who struggle, but not to this extent. You weren't able to answer any question correctly."
"I wanted help, Ratio," you said, again, muttering.
And yes, you tried to raise your hand so that he could also approach you that time, but he just looked at you and didn't come close.
You looked up weakly toward his eyes, holding his gaze a few seconds.
"I tried to ask for help from you, I raised my hand, but you ignored me," you confessed, your voice almost breaking.
He was silent for a moment, his expression slightly changing.
He seemed a little surprised that you had mentioned that.
He was about to open his mouth to speak, but then your voice spoke up again.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" You said, with a hurt voice, and your eyes started to feel moist.
His expression softened slightly. He wasn't expecting that question.
He saw the tears forming in your eyes, and his stern expression wavered for a second.
"No, I don't think you're stupid." He finally said, his voice slightly lower.
He paused for a moment before speaking again.
"But I can't deny that I'm...disappointed. I had hoped for more progress."
Your lower lip trembled slightly as you heard his words.
Disappointed. Of course, he was. Because you were the worst in the class, the one who couldn't understand anything no matter how hard you tried.
The one who would never be able to answer a question correctly.
"…I know…" you whispered.
You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and they started rolling down your cheeks.
"But i'm trying my best. I swear I am," you said, your voice shaking.
Ratio didn't say anything for a moment. He just looked at you, almost as if he was contemplating your words, your expression and your tears.
He watched as you cried softly, the tears running silently down your face.
He seemed to think for a moment, before he spoke again, his voice softer than before.
"I know you're trying," he admitted, and his tone wasn't as harsh as usual.
He let out a small sigh.
"But 'trying' isn't enough. You're always lagging behind. You never catch up. You need to do something different."
Your heart felt heavy, and your shoulders slumped slightly.
He was right, your 'trying' wasn't enough. It never was.
You heard him sigh, before you didn't realize it, his hands were on your cheeks, rubbing his thumbs on these to clean the tears.
"I want you to succeed,"
His touch was gentle, his thumb wiping away your tears softly.
You looked up at him, his expression was serious but not cold as usual.
"But you have to work harder for that." He spoke, his hands still on your wet cheeks. "You're smart, but clearly something is missing."
As his hands continued on your cheeks, you froze, feeling the unexpected touch.
He was wiping your tears, a gesture of… comfort?
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At this point, you already believed his words.
'You're not giving everything about yourself'
'Study more'
'Try harder'
Everything that came out of your mind and mouth was wrong for him.
You sat on the small bench on the rooftop of medical school. That place had been your peacetime.
You found yourself again, frustrated, as you had the book open on your lap, with tears about to escape your eyelids.
That until someone else's footsteps resounded on the ground.
Which made you immediately turn your head.
"I knew I'd find you here," the familiar voice said. You turned to see Ratio, walking over to the bench and sitting next to you.
"The same place, for the third time this week," he added, his expression a mixture of concern and something else.
You wiped the tears from your eyes quickly, not wanting him to see you like this. But it was too late, he had already noticed.
He glanced at the open book on your lap, a small frown on his face.
"Still struggling?" He asked, his voice soft yet firm.
You just nodded.
You saw him sigh, before he took out a kind of sweet bread packaged.
"Here, eat this," he said, as he gave you what he had in his hand.
He knew you liked those sweet breads.
With resignation, you took the bread, and you took off the wrapper, starting to eat it, while you felt like you were going to cry again.
Ratio watched you eat silently, his eyes fixed on you.
He saw the tears still gleaming in your eyes, but you were trying to hold them back.
He let out a sigh, his expression seemed to be contemplating something.
Without saying anything, he moved closer to you, getting nearer.
He was so close, you could count the number of eyelashes he had.
He leaned towards you, and his hand raised to touch your cheek and so he did, stroking your face for a moment, before he laid a kiss on your temple.
The unexpected kiss on your forehead made your body tense up for a moment, surprise filling you.
The action was uncharacteristic as he was acting in a way he never did in the past.
You slowly turn your head to look at him, your eyes meeting his. His expression held a hint of affection.
He was still so close to you. So close that he could easily touch you again.
The simple contact of his, made the accumulated tears of before, fall down your cheeks.
You stuck your body to him, even chewing sweet bread. You had a frown, like you used to have now.
As you put your phone next to you, after dialing your boyfriend's number.
You keep looking at the practice sheet, gently banging the pen against the table.
It took him a few seconds for him to answer your call.
"What's wrong?" Ratio asked once he answered the phone.
You took a deep breath before speaking, trying to sound a little calm, but failing miserably.
"I'm stuck again," you confessed, frustration evident in your voice.
"You'll need to do this by yourself, this time." He said, and his voice was firm.
You felt another stab in the chest.
"But I-"
"No buts. You need to learn how to figure things out on your own. You can't always depend on me."
Another stab. Like a dagger.
Yes, the same thing happened again.
You were somewhat desperate, as your last exams went wrong and you only approved a few with the minimum note. And basically you needed 140 percent of 100 percent to pass.
The only thing that could save you would be the practical part, but you didn't even manage to master that.
You knew he was right, but that didn't make you feel any better.
You looked up at him with a sad expression, but all he did was look at you with his usual frown.
"You're not a kid anymore. You need to start taking responsibility for your own learning," he said.
You knew he was right, you knew you couldn't always rely on him. But it was hard to accept.
Especially when he was always so dedicated and patient with others.
"Being your boyfriend doesn't mean you have more priority or advantages,"
You felt your throat tighten, you had a lump in your throat.
But he continued speaking.
"I'm your teacher, first of all. And I should be as impartial as possible."
You knew that, you truly knew that.
How you wished that he would treat you differently from others just because, you didn't want any privileges, or anything like that.
You just wanted his attention, his help, his care. But all you got were cold remarks, like a teacher talking to a stupid student.
Oh, but you would remember her words whenever you were tempted to ask her for help.
And again, you believed his words.
He was right, it wouldn't be fair for others to teach you the most.
So, you had to put everything in about yourself, no, more than you could give, so you could study for your exams.
Especially because they weren't just any exam, they were almost a preview of the endings, and if you didn't pass all of them, you wouldn't have any hope of being able to pass the courses.
Because you need more note than you can normally get, that is, something impossible.
In total there were 6 courses, that of Ratio and that of other teachers. That in their classes you didn't do so badly, but you weren't the best either. you approved with scores between minimums to media.
You looked down, your fingers tightening on the edge of the desk.
"I know," you mumbled, feeling a lump in your throat.
He was silent for a moment, before he spoke again, his voice a little softer this time.
"I'm tough on you because I know you can do it," he said.
Your eyesight focused on the chemistry test, it was the first exam of the week, so you were, or at least you felt, that you were ready.
When you left the exam, begging you to do well, you had to eat a granola bar, while you were walking down the hallways, looking for your other classroom.
You couldn't see Ratio before you took the first exam, because you were going to be a little late.
Once you sat at the desk, with the pharmacology test in your hands, you started putting on paper the things you remembered, so you didn't forget.
It was two long hours, which you managed to finish and leave the classroom, completely tired.
But when you get home, you couldn't sleep, because you had to prepare for your other exams.
As you sat in front of your desk, it was already almost 10 pm.
And you were still studying.
Your eyes tired because of the many books you had looked through, and your arms aching slightly because of writing so much.
You were tired, but you couldn't afford to take a rest. You had to study for the other exams. You let out a sigh, rubbing your eyes.
How long had you been studying now? An hour or two? You weren't even sure.
In the last few hours, you were studying for your other exams, including Public Health, Medicine 3, Clinical psychiatry, Laboratory diagnosis and the course in which Ratio will be present, Surgery 1.
Of some of those exams, most of them were written, the two of practice would be the same day.
You didn't dare send a single message to Ratio.
Or well, it's not that you didn't want to, you were too tired at this point.
You barely got out of the exam where you had to be in the lab, your eyelids every time threatened to close.
Now you had the exam.
You were scared, you even sweated from your nerves.
When you arrived at the respective practice chirophan, where all your colleagues would be taking the exam, your eyesight discouraged you.
They all looked somewhat tense, as they walked back and forth, muttering to themselves, what you assumed was what they learned in class.
You waited outside, along with them, before Ratio made them pass them all, to start the exam.
This consisted even the right only disinfected was also qualified, which made you tense. Although the cold water when washing your hands and arms helped you wake up a little.
Your breathing intensified.
Ratio stood in the middle of the room, and you tried to focus your vision properly.
He looked in your direction, for a second, his eyes on you.
Maybe he'd noticed how tired you were, but he remained silent. He just looked at you for a second, before looking back at everyone else.
And he began to speak.
"You all know how this works," he began, his voice firm and authoritative. "Each of you will take turns performing on a dummy patient."
You let out a shuddering sigh, trying to calm your nerves.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, as you watched your classmates take turns performing the practical exams.
Every time someone finished, Ratio inspected their work and gave them feedback.
You could see the serious expression on his face, his eyes never leaving the students as they performed.
Finally, it was your turn. You approached the dummy patient, your hands slightly trembling.
Ratio stood a few feet away, watching you.
When you started the exam, you tried to be as perfect as possible.
You tried to calm down, which was a bit difficult. Your hands was shaking.
'Try to breathe slowly, it will help you.'
That was what Ratio told you, and he was always right.
You tried to repeat in your head the steps you had to take to complete the exam.
You took a few deep breaths, in and out.
And finally, you began.
You feel much more pressure when you felt your classmates behind, that you were taking turns with when you performed a simple little surgery.
You started with shaky hands, to make cuts in the internal tissues of the skin, little by little. Being totally attentive to the sound of the cardiac monitor, listening to the pulsations and occasionally seeing the pressure level in the 'patient'.
You could even feel the sweat on the palms of your hands inside the latex gloves. It's good that you always had to put on 2 or 3 for these practices, because otherwise, you would have contaminated everything with your sweat.
You continued the process, trying to block out the thoughts that were flying through your mind.
'You need a good score.'
'You can't fail.'
'This is your last exam.'
'If you do this well, you can finally talk to him without worrying.'
Trying to ignore the pressure, you continued to take each step carefully.
The instructions for your colleagues you should take turns with were clear, anyone who distracts or talks to the person who is performing the practice with the 'patient' will immediately cancel the exam.
And that's why, because of the more impotence or frustration of your peers when they see your patient's heart level when they enter a state of shock because they had touched a vital organ, it was something that went unnoticed by you. Because you had fallen asleep.
What suddenly woke you up was the same alert from the monitors, who let out a loud noise.
Shit.
By the time you saw the monitor, the pressure was in the skies, not to mention that now the pulsations were going down drastically.
Without realizing it, as you had been sleeping in your place, you pricked the 'patient' stomach with the scalpel.
Fuck.
Your eyes widened in shock.
You were still a bit dizzy from sleep, and your reflexes were very slow.
And from behind, you could hear more murmurs, some of your classmates, while others let out a hiss or a swear word. And you could feel the pressure in your chest at what had just happened.
You tried to make a suture, but by that time it was too late.
You had damaged a vital organ, which you shouldn't even do.
In fear, you turned to the monitor, that now the rhythm was a single beep, indicating that the 'patient' had died.
You stayed there, feeling pressured by the looks of your classmates behind you, now they had not been able to take their exam.
And the gaze of Ratio, who was standing in front of you, which only made things worse.
He stood in the same position, his eyes staring at you. And you could only think of what he must have been thinking at that moment.
You tried to remain calm, but you knew that was impossible, your breathing was shaky, and you even felt your legs trembling.
You couldn't stand the stares, you could feel the gazes of your colleagues on your back. Judging and analyzing everything you had done.
"You failed this exam roundly." was the only thing he said, before guiding your peers to another side in the chirophan so they can take their exam, with a heart rate 'patient'.
You felt a pang of panic, your hands still trembling from the previous episode.
'You failed this exam roundly.' those words still echoed in your mind.
You knew it was the truth, there was no way you could deny it. You messed up big time.
'Everyone is going to hate me now. They're all going to think I'm stupid. I'm not fit to be a doctor. I'm not fit to be anything.'
These were the thoughts that raced through your mind.
You had been unveiling yourself so that you could study well for your other exams, that this was the only thing you didn't have in mind that could happen.
Your eyes looked to the floor, you were ashamed, you were embarrassed by your own performance. You had failed at something so simple.
Something you'd studied for hours. You even feel somewhat prepared to be able to do it.
Ratio stayed where he was, watching as your classmates took their turn with 'the patient'.
But he couldn't quite take his eyes off you, he could see you were shaking, and he was sure you would start crying at any moment. But you wouldn't do that in this place, not with the presence of everyone else.
He was heading for a moment where you were.
Without paying much attention to the others, he approached you, his footsteps almost silent, and stopped right in front of you.
He looked down at you, his gaze serious.
He knew exactly what your thoughts were at the moment, he knew that all the blame you would assume would be on yourself.
After all, it was all due to your negligence, you had fallen asleep, and that had been the reason why your practice turned out to be, to say the least, a disaster.
'You tried'
'You can do better another time'
'Don't worry'
You expected that, you really expected it.
"You need to retire from the chirophan, you've finished your exam." That's what you heard from him.
Your heart squeezed.
You really thought he was going to at least say a few words of encouragement, not just that.
And the tone in which he said it just made it worse. It was clear that he was disappointed.
You could feel the lump in your throat growing, you felt that you were going to burst into tears at any moment.
Ratio was about to speak, but instead, he held his tongue.
He knew the effect his words had had on you. He knew you weren't well. But he didn't say anything, he just stood there, seeing you.
His gaze was on you, you could feel that he was analyzing you, from your eyes to your hands.
You looked like a kicked puppy.
Your shoulders were hunched, your head was down, and your hands were shaking at your sides.
With what little dignity you had left, you looked up at Ratio.
Your heart was beating so hard you thought it would burst out of your chest.
Your eyes were glassy, your eyelashes wet with tears.
You moved from your place, going to the disinfection area, while you were removing your gloves, mask and other protection stuff.
Your hands never stopped shaking while you did that.
You came out of the chirophan of practices, with fear running through your body.
Your hands on your face as you tried to hide the fact that you were about to start crying.
You were walking so fast that you bumped into a few people, some who told you to slow down, but you ignored them.
Finally, you reached the bathroom, where you locked yourself in one of the cubicles, and let the tears fall down your face.
You felt pathetic. You felt like an idiot for thinking you could do it, and even more so, for falling asleep.
How could you possibly have screwed up so big? You had studied for hours, for days, for weeks.
You worked as hard as you could to try to get a passing grade.
You had given your all, only for it to end in a complete failure.
"You're not good for this." you told yourself, your voice choked with tears.
You waited for your boyfriend to leave his office, grabbing the strip of your bag with both your hands.
Your gaze was on the floor, seeing your shoes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Your red eyes, you didn't want people to see much.
The students walked around you, chatting and laughing, unaware of the turmoil you were going through. You just wanted to go back to your apartment and cry in peace.
But at least you wanted some comfort on Ratio's side, even though you knew you didn't deserve it.
You heard the sound of a door behind you opening, and you glanced up to see Ratio walking out of his office.
He didn't notice you at first, but then he turned and his gaze fell on you.
You heard him sigh heavily, before he spoke "Let's go." It wasn't a question, it was a direct order.
You didn't dare say anything, just nodded silently and walked with him.
The whole way to the exit was silent, you walked behind him, seeing his back.
The silence was heavy, you didn't dare to say anything, and he didn't say anything either.
When you arrived at his apartment he let you pass first.
As you saw him leave his things in place and turn on some lights, your mind was distracted.
Until as he started heating water in the boiler, he spoke.
"It was the worst exam I could see in my life," his voice was full of disappointment.
Your heart pounded in your chest, those words only made you feel worse.
You wanted to say something, some kind of excuse, some reason to justify what you had done.
But all that came out of your mouth was a half-broken murmur "I'm sorry"
Ratio stared at you for a moment, his gaze was cold, you felt like crying again.
"You're sorry?" He asked, almost bitterly.
"You'll tell that to your patients' relatives when you kill them by mistake?"
Your eyes widened, and you could feel your lip starting to tremble.
That was a low blow.
"I-" you tried to speak, but your voice was so shaky and broken that you could barely form words.
But he interrupted you.
"You weren't focused. You were not prepared. You were sloppy and careless" He said, without even looking at you.
His words were like a stab in the heart.
And he wasn't done yet.
"You didn't put any effort into it,"
"Yes I did," you muttered, grabbing your fingers, anxiously in your body.
Ratio turned to you, his gaze was stern and almost irritated. He had never looked at you like that before.
"You fell asleep in the middle of the practice," he said, and the disappointment in his voice was palpable.
"How the hell would you call that putting in effort?"
Your mind was racing, trying to find an answer, something to say. But the words didn't come out, the lump in your throat was too big.
"I did" you tried to say again, weakly.
"No, you didn't" he said bluntly.
"If you had, you wouldn't have made such a stupid mistake"
You couldn't help it again, the salty tears wet your cheeks.
"Yes I did, Veritas," you said, raising your voice a little while you were looking at him.
"You didn't make the slightest effort in that practice, otherwise, you wouldn't have failed so miserably"
Those words stung again, you felt that he was attacking you.
"Yes I did!" You shouted, tears streaming down your face.
"I worked my ass out for that exam. I didn't take anything for granted! I really wanted to pass!"
"I want your comfort," you sobbed.
You wanted him to tell you that you had tried, that you did put everything out of you, that it was just unfortunate situations, that you could try again later.
You wanted that, not this.
Ratio's expression softened a little at your words, and for a moment he almost looked guilty.
He was quiet a few seconds, looking at your tear-soaked face.
"Do you think hard work is enough?" He asked. "Do you think that by just studying you will pass everything?"
"That if you want something, you'll get it just by wanting it?"
You just looked at him.
"That's not how it works," he said firmly.
"You have to be more than that".
You wanted his comfort, you longed for it a lot at times like this, not to be ranted out at how bad you did it.
"You don't deserve to be consoled if you did something out of pure negligence,"
Your heart sank at his words, like he was speaking to a child.
You felt like a scolded dog.
More tears fell on your face.
"I didn't mean to make that mistake," you said, wiping your face with your sleeve. "I really tried"
Ratio approached you, his steps slow and deliberate.
"Trying is not enough" he said bluntly.
He was in front of you now, towering over you, you didn't dare to look at him in the eyes.
"In this profession, just trying is not enough"
"You're not made to be a doctor if you think that," Your breathing hitched.
Those words hurt, you wanted to shout at him, tell him he's not right, that he's wrong.
But you knew he wasn't.
Every word he was saying was true.
All this effort, all these hours you've worked, and all these sleepless nights, to fail like that, because of a stupid simple mistake.
You really were not fit to be a doctor.
Your head was lowered, and the tears still ran down.
You tried to hold them back, but failed.
"I'm tired, Veritas,"
You just wanted him to stop.
You were tired, tired of studying, tired of not getting it right.
Ratio seemed to not soften at your words, his face still showed disappointment.
"You have to try harder, you have to put aside your tiredness," he said firmly. "If you don't, you will fail again"
"If you really want this, you have to do better"
You just wanted it all to stop.
"It's not fair," you began, your voice choked by the crying that didn't stop.
"The only thing you know how to do is tell me bad things about what I do," you sobbed.
"You're supposed to be my boyfriend, not someone who criticizes me,"
You felt frustrated, the words escaping your mouth without a care.
You wanted him to comfort you, to tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you would be a perfect doctor.
But he didn't say anything. He just looked at you, his expression unchanged.
"My job isn't to soothe your ego," he said firmly.
"My job, as a boyfriend, is to help you see the faults in yourself and strive to improve"
"And it seems that you don't like that very much," he added. His voice was almost cold.
You raised your head, looking at him with wet eyes.
"You're supposed to support me" you said weakly, almost a plea.
Ratio's face didn't change, his eyes fixed on you.
"I do support you," he said.
"But I won't lie to you or sugarcoat things for you," he added.
"I don't even have ego or something that you have to soften."
Those words were like a stab to the heart.
"I'm sick of you telling me that everything I do is complete shit,"
You were shaking with frustration, tears and snot streamed down your face. You felt so angry and so desperate that you didn't know what to say.
"I'm just trying to be honest with you and make you face reality," Ratio said.
"You need to be able to handle criticism if you want to be a doctor"
You just wanted him to stop, to shut up and say something like 'you're good' or 'don't cry it's okay'.
But he didn't, he just stood there, telling you the things you didn't want to hear.
You felt like you couldn't hold back anymore, all these days, weeks, months of not saying anything was starting to weigh on you.
"You never say anything good about me," you said in a shaky voice.
"You never have a nice word for what I do"
Ratio raised an eyebrow at your words, unamused by your outburst.
"You don't deserve my compliments"
That stung.
"Especially when you fail so miserably," he added.
Your body shuddered, those words made you feel so bad.
"All other boyfriends say nice things to their partners" you murmured.
"They give their support, even when they make a mistake"
Ratio almost laughed at your words.
"Oh, so you want me to be one of those 'other boyfriends' now?" he said with a hint of irony.
"You want me to pat you on the back and say you did a good job, even when you did a bad one?"
"Do you really think that's going to help?"
His tone was almost mocking, and it made you even more upset.
You wanted to shout at him, tell him that you just wanted him to say something nice and comfort you. But the words wouldn't come out.
"I…"
You tried to speak, but the only thing that came out was a choked noise.
Ratio sighed heavily, the annoyance clear in his expression.
"I can't believe you're acting like a child because you can't handle a bit of criticism"
"Do you really think that's how a doctor should behave?"
"The answers I say are the same as those of my classmates and you still tell me they're wrong," you said.
"It's not fair. I'm fed up,"
Ratio crossed his arms, looking down at you.
"Life isn't fair," he said, as if explaining something obvious to a child.
"And a doctor's job is not to care about being fair"
He looked you up and down, almost with contempt in his eyes.
"I had expected more from you," he said.
"But I suppose I expected too much"
Those words hit you like a blow to the stomach.
You knew he was right, but it didn't make the situation any less painful.
Your hands were clenched into tight fists, your fingers digging into your palms.
"I hate you," you spat out between sobs, your voice full of anger and hurt.
Ratio seemed unperturbed by your words to begin with.
He looked at you with an expressionless face for a moment, before speaking.
"You don't mean that"
You were angry, hurt, and sad, all at the same time.
"I do," you said, your eyes wet with tears.
"I hate you, and I wish you didn't exist"
The words came out of your mouth, more like a desperate plea.
Ratio didn't react at first, he just stood there, looking at you as you sobbed.
"You don't mean it," he repeated, his voice low and firm.
"And you know it"
"Yes I do," you insisted, your voice almost a hiss.
"I hate that you always criticize me," you said, letting out a sob. "I hate that you never say anything nice,"
You saw a slight change in his face through your tearful sight.
Before it becomes the same again.
"If you hate me and you can't stand the criticism I give you," his voice sounded annoying, almost words spit on his face.
"Why don't you retire from medical school?"
"You don't even have the talent to be a doctor anyway,"
You felt your heart drop at those words.
Talent… That was the thing that you always lacked.
Ratio was always the perfect doctor, from the beginning of his studies, he was the top of the top.
You, on the other hand, struggled.
You weren't naturally smart like your classmates or he was. You needed to study more, work harder, make more effort.
And even with all that, you didn't come close to being like he wanted.
You had sacrificed so many things just to get here, your dreams, your hobbies, and even your old friends.
What nice words from your boyfriend.
Both you and he remained silent, with only the sound of the boiling woman whistling.
Your tears fell like waterfalls, but this time you weren't sobbing, you just stared at him.
There was a tense silence between the two of you.
You didn't know what I was thinking, you didn't want to know either.
But you might notice that his facial expression was no longer the firm one before.
He seemed even surprised by his words.
He opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to speak.
But the words not came out.
Ratio was looking at your devastated face, the trail of tears already staining your clothes and cheeks.
Your red eyes stared at him, without blinking. Your expression seemed so different from a few seconds ago.
He had probably crossed the line.
Ratio stood there, looking at your tear-soaked face. He had never seen you so upset, so… desperate.
'Why don't you retire from medical school?'
His words will be repeated as a disc striped on your head.
The seconds passed slowly, the silence was only broken by the sound of boiling water.
Ratio moved slightly, taking a step forward, but stopped when his eyes met your gaze.
That look was almost one of… betrayal.
Something inside him stirred with frustration but guilt at the same time.
You forced yourself to take a breath, because you felt like you were going to drown.
You grabbed your bag with your trembling hands.
As you moved to grab your stuff, your eyesight never focused even on his shoes.
"Y/N…" Ratio tried to speak, his voice was hesitant.
He watched as you packed your things, your movements were jerky and with haste, with the only goal of leaving quickly.
You didn't look at him, avoiding his eyes completely.
"Where are you going?" His voice sounded more pleading, and with a hint of concern.
You felt your body tense, the sound of his voice made you shiver. You had forgotten how long it had been since you heard your boyfriend speak to you without being sharp or harsh.
"I'm leaving," you replied, your voice flat and emotionless.
"Do you care?"
"Of course I care" his voice was firmer than before, and maybe a little annoyed?
Ratio walked closer to you, his steps slow.
"I-, we need to talk"
That phrase came out of his mouth, almost in a pleading tone.
You continued to pack your things, not daring to look at him.
"We can talk tomorrow," you said. "I remembered I have something to do at home,"
Ratio's lips formed a straight line.
He just kept quiet.
You too, until you approached the door.
You felt the weight of his eyes on your back, almost burning.
You had your hand on the doorknob.
It was hard. More than you should.
"Tomorrow, then," he said, quietly.
The way Ratio spoke sounded almost vulnerable.
Your hand trembled on the doorknob.
You wanted to look back, to say something, to see his face.
But you didn't, because you know that seeing him would be even more painful.
"Sure," you managed to say, your voice hoarse.
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The day after your… discussion with Ratio.
You were walking through the corridors of the medical school.
You felt a slight anxiety, but also a sense of resignation for what was going to happen.
You hadn't heard from Ratio since yesterday, and you weren't sure if it was on purpose or not.
As you turned a corner, you saw a familiar figure standing in your path.
You froze for a moment when you saw him.
He was dressed as usual and that perfect hairstyle.
But at least he didn't look so perfect, like he hadn't slept the night before.
His eyes were fixed on you, almost as if he were inspecting you.
Ratio his face neutral as always, but with a hint of… remorse?
"We need to talk," he repeated the phrase from yesterday, his voice low and firm.
Right.
"Oh, right," you let go, feeling your body tighten.
But before he could add anything else, you talked.
"Maybe later?, right now I have a class,"
Ratio had expected you to have a defiant or annoyed air about you.
But your voice, and expression, were calm, almost soft.
"Fine," he said after a few seconds. "Then after class,"
"After class," you confirmed.
Ratio continued to watch you.
The sound of the bell ringing through the hall interrupted the brief moment between the two of you.
not looking directly into his eyes. Then, before he could say anything again, you continued on your way to your classroom.
Ratio watched your figure walk away, his brows slightly furrowed.
Every ticking sound seemed almost as if it was mocking you.
The anticipation making your stomach spin.
In fact, you hadn't gone to a 'class'.
You went to talk to the rector of the medical school.
You felt a lump in your throat, and your hands were slightly sweaty.
You had an idea of what you wanted to talk about.
But you weren't so sure.
Your footsteps echoed through the hallway, your heart beating fast in your chest.
Until you arrived at the office door. You knocked gently and the voice of the rector called you in.
The moment of the meeting was brief, you explained the situation and what you decided. The man listened intently to your words, a slight sense of sympathy in his eyes.
When you finished, he nodded slowly, his fingers tapping on his desk. "Are you sure?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
"Yes," you responded, your voice firm but inside you were the nerves.
You didn't know if you had taken the right decision, but it was done.
"I don't want to question your decision, but-"
"I'm sure" you interrupted him abruptly.
It sounded a little… harsh, but you didn't want to hear any more arguments.
The rector gave a small resigned nod.
"Okay," he said slowly.
"I will start the procedures,"
You walked to where you knew Ratio would be teaching.
You didn't know why you approached, if you were supposed to leave without telling him anything.
Ratio was in the middle of his class when you appeared at the door.
He didn't see you at first, since his back was facing the door.
But when class ended a few minutes later, and everyone left, he turned his face towards the door after leaving his notes on his desk.
And there you were.
Your figure standing in the doorway.
Ratio's facial expression didn't change.
"Is your class over?," his voice was low, the room was empty, the last students had already left.
Which made the only sound a low ticking of the clock hanging on the wall.
Your feet didn't move toward him.
You were still standing by the door, your gaze fixed on the ground.
"Yes," your voice came out somewhat strangled.
For a few seconds Ratio was silent, as if contemplating you.
He started to walk towards you, his footsteps echoing in the room.
The air between the two of you felt almost… thick.
Ratio eventually stood in front of you, his height forcing you to lift your head to look at him.
"Can we talk outside of here?" You asked, something undesirable about your actions.
Ratio was quiet for a moment, staring down at you.
He looked almost… unreadable.
Finally he agreed with a low "sure".
You left the room and both you started walking together.
Neither of you spoke.
Silence.
Just the sound of the two of you walking through the corridors of the school.
Ratio continued to keep pace with you, but he was looking straight ahead, not looking directly at you.
The sound of your footsteps echoed in the empty halls.
As the two of you walked, you felt a feeling of nervousness rise in your stomach.
You inhaled before you asked again. "Can I take your hand?"
As you broke the silence, Ratio slightly turned his head towards you.
He gave a light nod of affirmation.
You reached for his hand, and he allowed you to hold it.
His palm was warm, and the touch of his fingers was gentle, almost firm.
You felt less nervous, just for a while.
You walked with him until you got to a quiet cafeteria, where you saw people studying at tables.
You sat in front of him, making your hand release his.
As you sat down in the cafeteria, Ratio took a seat in front of you.
Both of you stayed silent for a few more seconds.
Neither of you had said anything since you came to this place.
You could feel a tension in the air, the silence slowly becoming unbearable.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke.
"I assume you didn't go to class," his statement sounded like a mere fact.
"Uhm, we can talk about that at another time," you said, playing with your hands a little bit.
You missed the touch of his hand against yours, and you were going to miss that, that's for sure.
"I don't hate you, Veritas," you said, remembering your words yesterday, that you ranted when he was being unpleasant and rude on you.
Ratio's brow furrowed slightly.
He didn't say anything for a moment, he seemed to be thinking about something.
His gaze was focused on you, his eyes studying your expression almost intently, as if he was examining you.
"I know," he said eventually, his voice low and quiet.
Then he spoke again.
"I have to apologize," his words sounded almost reluctant, as if he didn't like saying them.
You could see the muscles of his jaw clenched, he seemed to be struggling with his thoughts and words.
It was clear that he wasn't used to apologizing.
He continued, the words coming out a little hesitant.
"I shouldn't have said those things,"
He paused again, his gaze averting yours for a moment.
Then he spoke again, and his eyes fixed on yours again.
"I was too harsh,"
Ratio's voice was quiet, almost like a whisper.
He was still struggling with those words, you were so used to him insulting you so easily but apparently it was different when he apologized.
Significantly that produced peace of mind in you.
You couldn't help but smile a little, feeling the knot in your throat.
"That's okay," you said.
Ratio's eyebrow shot up, clearly not expecting such a response.
You knew him enough that he probably would have been prepared to receive a scolding or an argument in response.
He was still looking at you, you could see the slight surprise in his eyes.
"That's… it?"
Ratio seemed almost dumbfounded.
"Yes, that's what I needed to hear," you said.
Anyway, you had already started with the procedures with the rector.
Maybe you just wanted to hear his words of apology, but as a good memory.
Ratio's expression changed, it was almost a mixture of relief and confusion. It was almost as if he had expected more resistance from you.
He remained quiet for a few more seconds, continuing to watch you intently.
That you were so forgiving after how he had acted made him feel… strange.
But maybe he shouldn't think too much.
Ratio exhaled slowly, his facial expression returning to its usual stoic and composed state.
"You're too soft, dear," he murmured, his voice low and quiet.
The next day it was the same.
He felt calm, because at least you weren't upset and at least you clarified that you didn't hate him.
It had spent almost 40 minutes of class and you were not there yet, it was strange to him.
Until when you looked for you on campus, where you were supposed to have other classes, you hadn't attended them. Rather, you weren't even on campus.
And, no matter how much he send you a message, it came out that he couldn't contact your number.
Almost recently, he had to come and talk to the rector, about you not coming and you could fail all your other courses. Until he took it upon himself to tell him that you had withdrew from campus three months ago.
Ratio's eyes widened, his facial expression transforming into a look of disbelief. "What?," his voice was low, but with a hint of alarm.
His mind was processing this new information, and it was hard for him to believe.
"They… withdrew three months ago?" His words came out slowly, his heart was starting to race.
Yes, you had taken the decision to withdraw from the medical school.
As much as it looked like a tantrum, you didn't care, maybe he was right.
So you followed his advice.
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590 notes · View notes
exuvianen · 9 months ago
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dating hc's with dr. ratio, aventurine + blade!
headcanons about what these hsr men do in a relationship witth you <3
cw: x reader, gn! reader (no physical descriptions), mostly fluff, sfw, headcanon style
notes: hsr brainrot… ahahaha... i hope i have a fairly good grasp on these characters and wrote them well. 
wc: ~1050 words, around 350 words per character. all under the cut!
feel free to drop an ask or to add on to my thoughts! likes + rbs are appreciated  <3
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✎ Dr. Ratio:
He likes parallel play, or being alone together with you. He works on his own projects, like grading papers or writing a new thesis while you’re doing your own thing, like playing video games or reading. Occasionally, he might ask you for your input, such as ideas about his next thesis or what pose he should sculpt himself into next. 
He has a spare desk and chair for you in his office. You can choose to do work or entertain yourself there when you visit him and he’s still teaching a lecture, but feel free to take a nap on the plush sofa he bought just for you. 
He will nag you about your health but in an annoyingly endearing way. He fusses over you, telling you about appropriate attire for today’s weather, offering you an umbrella, and reminding you to drink water. 
He entertains all your ideas, no matter how silly or illogical. He’ll hear you out on anything you say, though he might have some very strong disagreements or objections to your ideas, especially if they are silly or completely nonsensical. However, he never turns you away when you bound up to him with a mischievous gleam in your eyes - he just sighs and prepares himself mentally to hear whatever goofiness comes out of your mouth. 
He’s your biggest cheerleader, supporter, and advocate. Though he may come off as intimidating, he is always willing to help advance your career or work. He has many connections and vast knowledge of the universe after all - why not utilize them for his beloved? 
He’s very good at dispelling any irrational thoughts in your head. If you’re panicking and your mind is disoriented, he’ll sit next to you and hold your hand gently, but firmly to ground you. He doesn’t speak at all when you vent out all your frustration, confusion, or anger - rather, he’s silently contemplative and then asks questions when you finish talking. He’ll indirectly guide you to a solution while gently calming you down as he dispels those pesky thoughts from your head.
He makes a custom alabaster head for you. 
♤ Aventurine:
A big fan of matching accessories and clothing. You don’t need to wear the exact same outfit, but he likes wearing complementary colors and jewelry to yours.
If you’d like, he’d be more than happy to bring you to casinos and public events with him. He wants to show off to you and let you witness his wit, talent, and skill like a peacock presenting its colorful feathers. 
He likes it a lot when you trace his skin through the spade-shaped hole in his outfit.
He hates the feeling of being vulnerable, but he likes being around you. This creates conflicting emotions inside of him. Oftentimes, he doesn’t know how to deal with it and just lurks by you. Pull him into a hug to quiet the voices in his head. 
He will send you packages or luxury items from the planets he’s visiting. You’ll be greeting a disgruntled Topaz or IPC soldiers at your door as they hand you various gifts ranging from limited-edition jewelry to flowers that bloom only once every 200 amber eras. He gifts extremely grand things, but he always knows how to find things that suit your tastes.
He’s a big spender on you. If you’re unused to the amount of money he’s willing to throw at you, he’s going to give you a lot of “exposure therapy” with his generosity. He’ll invite you to private auctions, lavish galas, luxury boutiques, and high-end jewelry stores. He’ll start filling your wardrobe with tailor-made clothes with the excuse that you should match his outfits when you attend formal events together, but his clothing contributions eventually infiltrate your closet pretty deeply. 
He enjoys being pampered and pampering you. Self-care nights are a must - as a representative of the IPC and one of the ten Stonehearts, he has to keep himself presentable and looking sharp, and that goes for his partner too! He’s more than happy to spend money to fund your trips to the salon or buy you any beauty products to use at home. He’d love to put on face masks together and share a drink or two with you. 
☠︎︎ Blade:
If you want to, and Elio’s script permits, he will bring you along on missions to safer planets. He’ll drop you off at a commercial district - feel free to go shopping or try out some novelty food while he wraps up his Stellaron Hunter business.
He likes getting his hair brushed. One of his favorite activities is sitting down and letting you comb through his hair after he cleans up from a mission. It’s an activity that leaves him vulnerable, but he doesn’t mind if it’s with you.
He’s an acts of service kind of guy. He moves to take your bags before you even say anything, holds open doors, and pulls out chairs for you. Brings you a cup of water and some fruit when you’ve been working for too long, and silently drapes his jacket over you when you shiver.
Tell him you like a certain pastry and he’ll show up every day and bring some. Show him a picture of a pretty flower and he’s boarding a spaceship to bring the flower to you personally. If you want something, he’ll do his best to get it.
He’s pretty quiet, but he’ll remember everything you say, what your preferences are, and what you like. He secretly writes it down in case his memory gets murky, and he’ll often reread his notes to remind himself.
He gives simple but traditional gifts to you, such as jade bracelets and pendants, and combs and hairpins if you have longer hair to wear or use them.*
He’ll treasure anything you gift to him. If you make an accessory for him, he wears it at all times. If your gift is small enough, he’ll stow it safely in his pockets and take it everywhere with him.
If family is important to you, he’ll send funds their way and ensure that they’re taken care of. 
As someone who’s often dead and then undead, his body can get stiff. He’ll enjoy it immensely if you massage him, and accompany him for his daily stretches and calisthenics. Even if you just hold him for a while, he finds that his muscles will relax from the warmth emitting from your body. Therefore, he quite appreciates having you physically near him.
* Combs, hairpins, Jade bracelets, and pendants were given as tokens of love and affection in Ancient China. These gifts have a deeper meaning/symbolism, but for the sake of post length, I did not write them all out. 
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harmeu · 7 months ago
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GUILT
(HSR MEN X READER) (ANGST)
(GN!READER) 
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Synopsis: You and Sunday were dating but then you overhear him talking to those who work with him about how you’re just a pawn for his games.
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SUNDAY:
Soft footsteps echoed as you walked through the halls of where your beloved boyfriend Sunday lived. Though a feeling of unknown dread crawled onto you as if warning you of something soon happening.
Click. Click. Click.
Your eyes lit up as you heard your boyfriend speaking to those who worked under him and you couldn't help but eavesdrop. The curiosity of how he acted when he wasn’t around you dwelling in your mind.
“It’s simple. I’m using them. They are just one step closer for me to get closer to my goals.” Sunday said with a calm smile, hands gently tracing his desk looking down at the men who were talking to him.
You were confused.
What were they talking about?
“Sir..are you sure? Aren’t they attached?”
“My so-called significant other is definitely attached. Though that benefits me. Much. More. Easier. To manipulate.”
You paled.
He was using you.
Tears bubbled up in your eyes and you held your hand to your mouth to stifle any noises of sadness that were threatening to come out.
Hitching and turning on your shoe you make a dash for it unaware that Sunday caught a glimpse through the slit of the door open with his eyes. His wings twitched in surprise and soon lowered as a disgusting feeling of shame hit him.
It was an oddity for Sunday.
“Oh dear.” He murmured out making his way out to find you.
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Synopsis: Aventurine and you dated but when he bets you in a game everything goes downhill.
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AVENTURINE:
You catch your boyfriend, the renowned gambler betting as usual. You told him his hobby wasn't good. But as if that would stop him. Eventually you gave up and just let him do what he wanted despite worry filling you each time he pushed a chip forward with his iconic trademark smirk. 
“Babe..” You murmur out unease written all over your face.
“Oh! Hey darling~ this man just won’t seem to give up..even after I basically drained his savings. He’s penniless and now putting bets on things he doesn't even own!” Aventurine chuckled, holding his head amused.
“Maybe you should stop? It's getting intense, no.?” You worriedly whisper out.
“Oh no no no sweetheart. Once you go in. You can’t come out.”
“Huh?” You fluster.
“In gambling! What were you thinking of?” His smirk grew and became more toothly as you spluttered but it soon died down as Aventurine noticed that the man he was gambling with was slowly earning his chips back.
“You pull up a tough fight.” Aventurine spoke and you just knew he was going to pull an impulsive move. 
“Seems my chips have vanished. What a shame. Yet I do not intend to lose. I bet..my darling sweetheart right here.” 
You flinched at his words staring at him with a ‘did you really just say that’’ look making Aventurine smack back into reality.
“Oh..doll wait I didn’t mea-”
He got cut off by you walking off.
Ping! New message!
(AVENTURINE HAS SENT $1,000,000)
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Synopsis: Dating Dr. Ratio was nice. Though he puts more time with other matters, neglecting you.
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DR RATIO:
You hadn’t seen your boyfriend Veritas in a while because of him either studying, working, teaching others, or doing something other than hanging out with you. You're aware of his passion to join the Genius Society but he can work on that while hanging out with you too right?
You felt left out.
So you decided to make your way to his office excited to see him but also a bit nervous due to the thought of him brushing you away to work on something else.
You knocked.
“Come in.” You hear his British pompous voice making you crack a small smile not hearing it in a while.
“Veritas..” You open the door smiling but it broke as you saw him writing down something in his notebook not bothering to spare a glance at you.
“What is it? I’m quite busy.” He whispered out, still looking engrossed in his work.
“Do..you want to hang out? It’s been a while and I’ve been worried about you overworking yourself. And I miss seeing you.” You blush at your own words staring at him.
Veritas sighed, dropping his pen and rubbing his temples.
“Dear how many times must I have to tell you that I am busy?” Annoyance is apparent in his tone making your eyes droop in defeat.
“Oh. Sorry. I just wanted to ask..since it's been such a long time.” Another sigh left Veritas as he ran a hand through his hair and finally made eye contact with you.
“I’m doing work at the moment so please leave me to it.” He picked up his pen again taking a glance at you but his eyes widened as he saw your vulnerable expression of defeat. You nodded softly and shut the door leaving.
Veritas stared at the door, his heart clenching in what he just did. Guilt poured onto it.
“My lord.” He murmured holding his now aching head.
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1K notes · View notes
rawbin-hsr · 3 months ago
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Rating HSR characters in relationships
Title is self-explanatory <3
Characters: Boothill, Dr Ratio, Blade, Aventurine (separately)
⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰
CW: cursing, mostly fluff and some crack
CW Aventurine's part: toxic dynamics, emotional neglect, jealousy, Aventurine in general
Lmk if there's any warnings I should add!
Had to restrain myself on Dr. Ratio I have soo bad brain worms about him rn he’s all I think about
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Boothill
10/10
DO NOT. AT ME. I PROMISE I’VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH. I know most people who read that will be like “what the fuck Boothill would NOT be a perfect partner” and that’s where you’re right ! No, he would be an awful partner !
For MOST people. 
But see, he wouldn’t be just ANYONE’S partner. 
If you’re dating him, it means you’re exactly his type and he’s exactly yours. You wouldn’t date a guy like him if he wasn’t exactly what you wanted. He lays out all his cards on the table right away. Your relationship won’t have the chance to even begin if you’re not head over heels immediately bro 😭😭😭
With most characters I can imagine them in a relationship with a lot of different kinds of people. Like for example yeah I can imagine Aventurine both dating someone more reserved and sweet or someone bold and loud. Or someone like Argenti Lord knows that man could love ANYONE (or anyTHING tbh), but with Boothill there’s just a very narrow range of personalities I can imagine him with. Hence the rating cause he’d only be in one kind of relationship. 
You guys are a POWER COUPLE I tell you. It’s SICKENING how much you love each other and how well you fit together. Two peas in a pod. I’m gonna throw up. 
You both love the exact same things, you both HATE the exact same things, and you are both equally deranged and insane
The IPC hates to see you coming 💀🙏
You’re constantly in a friendly competition to outdo each other. Who has the higher bounty ? (Usually him) Who can drink most alcohol before blacking out ? (You, surprisingly) Who can kiss the other the most times during this high-speed chase ? (You always tie on this)
He swallows a bullet. You say “I’ll do you one better!” and swallow a knife. You are a human and so he needs to take you to the hospital so you don’t fucking die
(You both think it’s funny afterwards so it’s okay)
Even when you guys “argue” it’s never really that serious. Honestly you both think it’s kind of hot…… you argue in a devious, sexy way……. *smirks mischievously*
Sorry I cannot take him seriously
You match his freak <3
Nobody fucking likes you together. Separately ? Sure people like you. But the moment the two of you are in the same room it’s like you merge into one singular, horrible, annoying entity and NOBODY wants to be around to see it 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏 neither of you have gotten a lecture about how inappropriate pda can be and also the two of you speak total nonsense it’s incomprehensible to everyone else
Considering putting Boothill on my “do not request” list, not because I don’t like him but because even I don’t understand how the two of you would fit together I can’t write it y’all are that weird
Boothill is for the freaks and he is PERFECT FOR THEM !!!
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Dr. Ratio
9/10
Okay I’ll be honest I’m not very caught up on Dr Ratio (I briefly hated him I only recently started liking him again HELP) so forgive me if there is some mischaracterisation in this I’m working on it my view on him isn’t complete yet 🙏🙏
Though Ratio is very ruled by logic, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have emotions. Furthermore, he views these emotions as important. Logic is not inherently opposed to emotions, and in fact, ignoring them would be illogical. 
That is to say, yes, he’s an intellectual man. But he also has a high emotional intelligence 😇😇
Like not in the way of knowing how to cope with them. I don’t think he feels many strong emotions regularly (except for annoyance lol), so I think he in fact gets kind of overwhelmed by them around you and never knows how to regulate them properly HELP
But what I meant to say is that, in a relationship, he considers your thoughts and feelings a lot and makes an effort to prioritise them. He does not want for you to be unhappy. 
He values you very highly. He takes all your opinions into consideration and treats them with respect.
He loves you a lot it’s actually ridiculous. He frequently gets annoyed at himself for how much he finds himself downright SIMPERING over you. 
And like yes Ratio can be very harsh in the way he speaks but I think that 1, his care for people (including the “fools” and “idiots” he seems to scorn so often) shows and it shows even more apparently for people he cares about, and 2 I think he realises it would be inappropriate to be as rude as he usually is to you. You two are in a relationship, you are not some stranger. He cannot go around criticising you constantly, that would not be a healthy dynamic. Meaning he softens his vocabulary for you. 
His care for you is very blatantly obvious. In the beginning I think he’s a bit embarrassed to show you affection. He hasn’t ever dated anyone, much less been in a relationship, with anyone before you (I honestly don’t even think he’s had his first kiss 😭😭), so I think his inexperience plays a part in it. But he still shows you as obviously as he can that he loves you, and he doesn’t shy away from vulnerability in private moments. 
Bro has researched how to be a good partner trust 🤞
He communicates very clearly with you as often as possible. He hates misunderstandings, and tries to avoid them whenever possible. The two of you are almost always on the same page. 
Whenever you argue, he still does not want you to leave the argument feeling unloved. Type to sigh, let his eyes soften and say “I believe it would be best if we both had some time to cool down”, then squeeze your shoulder as he passes you out of the room. Kisses you goodnight before you go to sleep. It’s often easier to talk it out the next day. 
The only things bumping him down from a 10/10 for me is the fact that he doesn’t have that much time to spare for time with only you (his schedule is very packed), and the fact that he cannot cope with his OWN emotions 😭 Great with yours because he can logistically figure out how to handle them, terrible with his own because they’re affecting his own mind and he isn’t used to it
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Blade
7/10
Surprisingly high rating for a guy like him but I swear I’ve thought about this ok don’t leave 😔😔😔
I think it takes…. A lot. Like a lot a lot. To break through Blade’s tough outer shell
He hates letting people in so much it’s actually crazy
The closest person he has before he meets you is probably Kafka, and that’s not really by his own choice he would shut her out too if he could 😭😭
(Not to say he isn’t like, calm and polite to people. He’s pretty reserved and just, like, quiet ig usually, he only really gets weird and aggressive when the Mara flares up or he needs to be for a mission. I just mean he isn’t gonna be open and available for basically anyone lol)
It’s mainly difficult to GET INTO a relationship with Blade, but if you do manage it, it turns out a lot sweeter than you’d expect
He’s just a deeply tired man. He is not malicious, he is not unnecessarily cruel. He is worn out and sick of living, of never getting the rest he so desperately craves. He finds some sort of respite in you, and so he treasures you. 
He trusts your judgement. He stands by you, no matter what. He’s loyal to a fault once you have him. The worst that could ever happen to him now is losing you. Even when he thinks you’re about to do something stupid (and he always tells you when he thinks it’s stupid), he’ll come with you. Better he’s there to take the hit for you than letting you go alone. 
Even with the smaller things, he shows it even more obviously. He cooks you dinner and lunch every day, so you don’t have to. He lets you decorate his apartment, and he never adjusts the things you place in it, even when it clashes horribly with his own style. He lets you drag him along anywhere, whether it be a concert or a park, without complaint. 
The main downsides with Blade are that he never, ever, verbally tells you that he loves you. Maybe once during your entire relationship he’ll say it, and probably when you’re on your deathbed, but he usually won’t. Even if you try to pry it out of him. 
He can be really mean in the way he says things sometimes, like telling you straight up your ideas are dumb, but it’s always softened by the way he agrees to do whatever you want anyways.
Another frustrating thing is how he cares very little for his own wellbeing. It’s a regular occurrence for him to come home with guts spilling out of his abdomen, and it’s really uncomfortable to see even if you know he can’t die. He can still feel pain, even if he’s learnt to cope with it well. It’s scary to see him so hurt so often. 
But you wouldn’t get into a relationship with him if you didn’t already know all this, hence why I rank him so high. He’s a lot better than you expected when you met him, which means you’re effectively in a better relationship than you’d have hoped 😭😭
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
Aventurine
4/10 💀💀
I love him so much (my content is mostly Aventurine centric) but holy fuck man,,,
I have never and will never sugarcoat it Aventurine is TOXIC. Like GENUINELY. I wouldn’t say abusive but he can be really cruel. He gets lost in his own head and takes it out on you in ways he doesn’t really mean to. Aventurine is not a good person. 
He’s fucked up in all sorts of ways and it’s no surprise it could easily destroy any relationship
Trust issues ? Jealousy issues ? Commitment issues ? Attachment issues ? Insecurity issues ? Mommy, daddy AND sister issues ? Every kind of possible issue you can probably imagine ? Yes on all fronts, bro’s the full issue package 💀
It would take a very special kind of person to endure in a relationship with him (I would not be able to do it if he was real I’ll be so honest)😭
When things are good, they’re really good. He can be so fun and playful and sweet and he loves to spoil you and everything that belongs to him belongs to you. He loves you more than the air he breathes and he’d do anything to make you happy
The issue is, most of the time, things are not in fact good. 
I keep mentioning it but his relationships are always such a push and pull. A game of hot and cold. One second he clings to you and begs you to never leave him, and the next he won’t respond to your calls or messages. 
Even worse, sometimes he’ll be outright mean in order to push you away, insinuating you’re “holding him down” and that you’re “wasting his time”. You’ll find yourself questioning if he actually does love you, because what sort of person does this to someone they love?
(It keeps him up at night when he treats you badly. He hates doing it, but he needs you to hate him as much as he hates himself.)
Usually he’s a really smart guy. Even when he does stupid things (things like making a purposeless high-risk gamble, playing Russian roulette), he’s fully aware of what he’s doing. (He does it because he kind of hopes he’ll actually die this time.) But with you, he loses all his composure and can’t really think straight. 
He feels safe with you, and that scares him. He’s a danger to your safety, and it’s better to push you away, make you hate him, than it is to let himself be happy with you. His life is beyond saving, so all he can do to you if you stay is drag you into his mess. He can’t fix himself, not even for your sake. 
He lies to you, he neglects you (sometimes for weeks at a time), he builds up new walls between you constantly, but at the same time he gets insecure and jealous when you hang out with others. Only when you threaten to leave him does he finally start getting his act together, because he realises that now that he’s had you, he couldn’t bear to live without you (even if he knows that’s very selfish of him). 
He gets better with time, but I really, really doubt he’ll ever be fully healed. It doesn’t help that his job wouldn’t really allow it, and he can’t leave the IPC through any other means than death. 
I originally ranked him as a 3/10 (diabolically low rating I know 💀💀) but I bumped him up one because he will get better. If you stick around long enough, he’d probably make it to a 7/10, but since that would take like over 4 years of being in a relationship with him I felt it would be unfair to rank him much higher 😭😭 At the start he really fucking sucks dude I’m so sorry my condolences 
。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚
My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3
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aventurineswife · 1 day ago
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Reader has been away visiting their family members who happen to live in a different country (Modern au?). The visit was quite long, lasting for almost a month. They obviously kept in touch with their partner, sending them messages daily. Calling daily, and even fave timing and showing them what they were doing. But that didn't make the distance any harder. They missed their partners terribly and couldn't wait to be back with them. So imagine the surprise of their partner when the reader finally came back and earlier than the time they gave. That deserves a special kind of celebration, no? (Suggestive?) (Dang heng since you went crazy for him yesterday, Aventurine, Veritas, and Kaveh together, and you pick the last character!)
“Though Miles Apart, Our Hearts Were Always One”
Tags: Dan Heng x Reader, Aventurine x Reader, Kaveh x Reader x Ratio, Modern AU, Fluff, Romance, Reunion, Long-Distance Relationship, Suggestive Content, Emotional Intimacy, Established Relationship, Surprise Visit, Mild Angst (Missing Each Other), Humor (Light-Hearted Moments).
Warnings: Suggestive Themes (nothing explicit, but implied intimacy), Mild Emotional Angst (due to separation/missing their partner), Mention of alcohol (for Aventurine), Brief Depiction of Personal Insecurities(?).
A/N: SHHHH!! 🤭 I wish I could write smut...🧍‍♀️😪 Oh well
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The night was quiet, save for the rhythmic hum of rain against the windowpanes of Dan Heng's apartment. He sat in his room, surrounded by the comforting stillness he often sought after long days. His phone rested on the desk beside him, displaying your last message: "I’ll be home in a few days. Can’t wait to see you again, my love."
He sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. Even though you had kept in touch with daily calls and messages, the physical absence weighed heavily on him. He missed your presence—the way you brought warmth and light into his world. He didn’t like to admit how often he lingered on your texts, scrolling through your photos, cherishing the sound of your voice in his memory.
The front door creaked open. Dan Heng froze. No one else had a key to his apartment. His heart quickened as footsteps echoed in the hallway.
And then he saw you, standing there, soaked from the rain but glowing with excitement. “I’m home,” you said softly.
Dan Heng stood abruptly, his usual composed demeanor slipping as he strode toward you. He stopped just short of touching you, as if afraid this was a dream.
“You’re early,” he murmured, his voice low.
“I couldn’t wait any longer,” you admitted, stepping closer.
That was all it took. Dan Heng pulled you into his arms, his spear-like restraint shattered. He buried his face in your shoulder, his grip firm but tender.
“You should’ve called,” he said softly, his breath warm against your skin.
“Wouldn’t have been a surprise then, would it?” you teased.
Dan Heng chuckled lightly—a sound you’d missed more than you realized. His hands slipped to your waist, his touch growing bolder as his lips found yours in a kiss that was all-consuming, filled with the longing of weeks apart.
The night stretched on as he showed you just how much he’d missed you, his usually reserved nature giving way to passion and tenderness in equal measure.
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Aventurine lounged in his private suite, a glass of fine whiskey in one hand, his other idly twirling a poker chip. The city skyline stretched out before him, glittering like a sea of stars. His mind, however, wasn’t on his game or his drink—it was on you.
He sighed dramatically, tossing the poker chip onto the table. “What’s the point of winning if I can’t share it with my favorite lucky charm?” he muttered. Your daily calls had kept him sane during your trip, but they weren’t enough. He craved your presence, your laughter, the way you teased him for his flamboyance.
A knock on the door broke his reverie. Aventurine frowned. He wasn’t expecting anyone. Rising with a lazy grace, he crossed the room and opened the door.
There you were, grinning like a gambler who’d just hit the jackpot.
“Surprise!” you said, throwing your arms around him.
Aventurine laughed, the sound rich and genuine. “Darling, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” he teased, pulling you inside. “Do you know how dull life has been without you? My games have been off, my drinks less sweet. But now…”
He spun you around, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Now, I think it’s time we celebrated properly.”
Before you could reply, he swept you into his arms, carrying you toward the plush couch. His kisses were slow and deliberate, each one more intoxicating than the last.
“You’re not leaving me again anytime soon, are you?” he murmured against your lips.
“Not a chance,” you promised, tangling your fingers in his hair.
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The shared apartment was unusually quiet. Ratio sat in the library, a book in hand, while Kaveh paced the living room, grumbling about a design flaw in one of his projects. Despite their contrasting personalities, they had settled into a comfortable rhythm during your absence. Still, both men missed you dearly, their days feeling incomplete without your presence.
Kaveh sighed, flopping onto the couch. “Do you think they’ll call tonight?”
“They always do,” Ratio replied without looking up from his book.
But tonight, your call never came. Instead, the door creaked open.
Kaveh was the first to notice, his eyes widening in surprise. “Wait… is that—”
“Miss me?” you asked, stepping into the room with a grin.
Ratio’s book snapped shut as he stood, his eyes sharp with disbelief. “You’re early,” he said, his tone calm but his expression betraying his excitement.
Kaveh was less composed, rushing forward to sweep you into a tight hug. “You have no idea how much we missed you!”
Ratio joined a moment later, his touch more reserved but no less meaningful. “You should’ve informed us. We would’ve prepared something special.”
“This is better,” you said, pulling them both close.
Kaveh chuckled. “Guess we’ll have to improvise.”
The night that followed was a mix of laughter, teasing, and tender moments. Kaveh’s kisses were fervent and emotional, while Ratio’s were measured and intense, each touch and glance revealing how much they had missed you. Together, they made sure you felt the depth of their love, the three of you reunited in a harmony that needed no words.
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squiddy-god · 2 months ago
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Hello!! If you're still accepting requests could I please request hcs for husband Ratio? Just any headcanons of him and how he'd be as a partner, anything you have pookie I'm starved and you write good food🙏
OMG YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN ugh ratio as a husband hmgjsnsd he's so perfect,,, he's so husband coded. I am always willing to feed the hungry lol, so enjoy the meal that is this man 
♡request open♡
Cw : established relationship, husband ratio, domestic fluff, cute and sweet, Gn!reader 
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Hhmhmmmhgggff ratio as your husband is so good, tasty, delicious 
Ratio is a man who no one expects to be a good husband but he actually is like, the most devoted hubby 
His students know he has a partner and they pray for you lmao and when you show up with a sweet lunch for veritas, they are dead on impact from the shock 
Vertais ratio is a good husband, wakes up earlier than you in the mornings due to his work and general schedule, so he makes sure to brew enough coffee for you to have some when you wake up
On days that you both have off he still wakes up early, however he climbs back into bed and read for a bit utility you wake up, 
Most would assume that not much changes about ratio when hes married but those people are wrong as hell
He builds you into his schedule even more then he had before, he makes sure to give you kisses at least twice a day, always giving goodnight kisses, and if not good morning then he is cranky lmao
He also is the type to schedule at least one date a week, even if its something simple
Honestly no one expected him to be so utterly whipped, such a dotting husband but here he is
He always calls himself your husband, its cute actually when he introduces himself as your husband dr ratio
Kisses your wedding ring and blushed when you kiss his
If you are working and he isn't, then he will make you a lunch and bring it to you so that he can see you at lunch
Says he don't live for gossip but he lives for your gossip, tell him about that work drama, the family drama- he is roasting everyone 
I love husband ratio
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draconic-desire · 10 months ago
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Ad Experimentum
Yandere Dr. Ratio x Reader
Veritas catches you reading one of your dirty books.
Warnings: Implied kidnapping, forced imprisonment, NSFW scenes being read aloud, Dr. Ratio being a dick as always
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Within the confines of Veritas’s home, you feel like a mouse in a maze, reduced to a caged animal, always under scrutiny and experimentation.
Escape is impossible. Dr. Ratio has ensured that you’re never out of his reach, even though he acts as if you are the burden and he didn’t kidnap you and imprison you in his home. Sometimes you wonder why he even keeps you; surely he has better things to do than to quip at your inadequacy or lack of genius. But alas, the pretentious prick seems keen on pushing every one of your buttons to see how you tick. You might even call it intimacy if he wasn’t so clinical and judgmental about it all.
Because physical escape is impossible, you’ve turned to escaping within the confines of your own mind.
Books provided the perfect retreat. You’ve since abandoned any non-fiction to focus on fantasy, to worlds that effortlessly whisk you away. Novels that depict true, romantic love, not the twisted ownership you’ve grown used to. Like you’re some pet to be controlled and prodded at, like Pavlov’s dog, waiting and drooling for its master’s hand at the ring of a bell.
So, in your hopes to feel something real, you’ve started to delve into stories that are a bit…spicier.
With the latest read in your hand, your eyes skim hungrily over the pages as the tension between the protagonists builds. The lovers begin to undress each other, the one spreading his partner’s pussy as she grinds into his hand—
Veritas effortlessly plucks the book from your hands, earning a cry of protest. You try to snatch it back, but, with the help of his towering height, he dangles it just out of reach. “What in the heavens is this?”
The way he holds the book between his thumb and pointer finger, as if merely touching it would taint his self-proclaimed perfect set of knowledge, was almost comedic. You would laugh if he wasn’t such a condescending asshole.
Instead, you scowl. “Give it back.”
He merely hums and turns the novel in his hands, inspecting the cover. Licking his thumb, he flips to your bookmarked page and begins reading aloud. “My hand caressed her core as I speared her with two, thick fingers. She moaned and arched into my palm in response, causing my cock to twitch in anticipation. God, I wanted to taste her arousal. Her pussy was perfect, so wet and tight and ready for me to claim, to fuck.”
Embarrassment rages across your cheeks like a burn. You fling yourself at him, pounding your fists against his chest when he lifts the book out of your reach easily. “Stop, just stop.”
Amused, Dr. Ratio continues to narrate the scene in painstaking detail. “I lowered my head, letting my tongue swirl around her clit and rendering her voice to nothing but pitiful mewls. She tasted like heaven, like my own personal feast. I buried my tongue in her, then, and held her hips as she bucked into my mouth, begging for release—”
“I will do anything,” you beg, face in your palms, “just please stop.”
Finally, mercifully, Veritas closes the book and lowers it down enough for you to snatch it back. You cradle it against your chest, heart pounding and palms sweaty with a chaotic blend of shame, anger, and relief that it was over.
“This is what you indulge in while I’m working? Though you are hardly an intellectual exception, I believed you to be above this brain-rotting nonsense, (Y/n).”
In spite of your embarrassment, you boldly meet his golden eyes. “And what do you care? I enjoy it, and it’s not meant for you. Go stick your nose in a dictionary for all I care.”
“At least I’d be learning something,” he sneers in return, looking down his nose at you. He sniffs, tilting his chin up. “What do those books have that I can’t offer you?”
You still, observing his features. Now that the fun of teasing you has worn off, his eyes flare with loathing. With a jolt, you realize it is not aimed at you but at…the book?
Wordlessly, you glance between Dr. Ratio and your novel. Then, a stilted laugh escapes your lips. “Wait.. Are you seriously jealous of a book?”
“Don’t be preposterous,” he scoffs, though you notice his white-knuckled grip against the back of the armchair you were previously lounging in. “I would never stoop so low as to associate myself with that plebeian filth. I simply wanted to ascertain your reaction to it being read aloud.”
You resist the desperate urge to roll your eyes. “Fine, then. Please leave me to my uneducated filth.” You spin around, intent on finding a new place to finish your reading.
“Not so fast.” Veritas is on you quicker than a cobra, large hands gripping both your shoulders. “Perhaps all is not lost. We may yet transform this circumstance into an educational opportunity for you.”
A chill runs down your spine at the heavy touch, and a sudden sense of foreboding warns you to run. You’re all too aware you’re the mouse being fed to the snake in this moment.
Veritas spins you to face him, eyes slowly trailing down your form, as if taking you in with a new perspective. “I believe an experiment is due.”
You go rigid. “I’m sorry?”
“If you’re so intent on reading about all those fantasies in your books, let’s go ahead and put them to the test, shall we?”
At his clear implication, you yelp and make a run for it. In that moment Veritas strikes, fisting your hair with one hand and cupping your chin with the other as he presses your body flush against his own. You can already feel his hard desire digging into your back.
“Here’s my hypothesis,” he purrs in your ear. “I predict that by the end of tonight, you too will be begging for my cum, whether you want to or not.”
His theory, as always, was proven to be correct.
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moineauz · 3 months ago
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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐑𝐀𝐏 ?!
synopsis: when you think you've learned just about everything about your husband, fate tells you otherwise.
side comments: the highlight of the 2.6 livestream was dr. ratio rapping. facts. also i absolutely believe that when dr. ratio was a teen he was fixated on learning how to rap.
extra: gn reader, established relationship, fluff
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YOU HAVE BEEN DR. RATIO'S SPOUSE FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS. Thus, you have learned perhaps every bit of his stern and eccentric mannerism: how he abides by his routine, the books he reads, how he dresses, and how the finite curve of his ever-astute eyes seem to gaze at you with unwavering tenderness.
Yet, learning that your husband could rap was knowledge that completely escaped you.
"Oh come on!" you plead, attempting to sound grave as you grin brightly, "Pass the tablet! You looked so cute as a teenager! So scrawny and-"
"Oh, that is quite enough," chides Veritas, still in his casual clothing, the tablet now securely gripped in his hand, "Plus, how could you have possibly found my tablet— "
He pauses, his expression now humorously annoyed, "It was that damn gambler isn't it?"
You've met Aventurine several times before. Often sharing coffee and the occasional banter.
However, last's visit turned out to be incredibly fruitful.
"I can't believe it..." your husband sighs, massaging his temples, "So when I was out getting papers, Aventurine gave you my tablet? From and in my own office?"
You smile apologetically, though, your suppressed giggle escapes you.
"Unbelievable."
"Well," you begin slowly, rising from the couch, arms crossed as you saunter towards your husband. A mischievous glint nestled within your iris. "I think your unique skill makes you all the more charming."
He scoffs, shaking his head before facing you. His countenance was clearly unamused. "Is that so? How exactly can you draw upon such a wild conclusion?"
"Because..." you drawl, searching for an answer, "I just do!"
Veritas scoffs again, this time, his large hands find their way around your waist, and you uncross your arms; unravelling.
Underneath his visage of quick-drawn remarks, deep measured inflection, and the unparalleled intelligence locked within the auburn hue of his eyes, is a delicate lover. A man with unconfessed dreams with the inner desires of a boy: to be seen and validated.
Veritas leans into your touch. Further burying himself into the crook of your neck, inhaling all of you in slow, measured breaths.
From afar, the scene is comical. Dr. Ratio is a man who is similarly known for his stature: the broad length of his shoulders, the defined angle of his jaw, and his considerable height. He loomed over you in public places, your head only meeting his sculpted shoulders.
Veritas was a Greek statue eager to be cracked by the delicate touch of your hands.
"The fixations of my youth..." he begins, his voice muffled, "Are rather embarrassing."
You pull him closer.
"Not at all," you whisper, "You have nothing to be embarrassed about when around me."
The two of you stand interlocked, your husband's large figure melting away in light of you.
"I suppose we can look through videos together."
You break into a grin, and Veritas scoffs. This time, with lingering amusement.
"By the way," you whisper, a cheeky smile spreading across your lips, "Can you rap for me?"
Veritas sighs, breaking away from your embrace as he tilts your chin, "The things I do for you."
masterlist.
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toruskiii · 4 months ago
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The Kiss Economy!
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Synopsis: What's a more charming way to trade things than using kisses as currency? Genre: Fluff Character: Veritas Ratio x Gn!reader Warnings: Smooches, established relationship, both you and Ratio are teachers! Maybe a little ooc [masterlist] [about me]
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Ratio sighed, running a hand through his hair as he paced the halls of the space station. Sometimes, he simply couldn't stand the reckless fools who were his students. It hadn't even been half a day, yet there was already so much to do— or more precisely, so much to clean up.
His classes ranged from young, aspiring teens to adults, who, in his mind, should be capable enough to handle equipment properly and behave responsibly in his absence.
But no.
The moment he stepped into the laboratory, his eyes fell upon a scene of chaos. Panicked students darted about, glass shards littered the floor, and expensive apparatus lay broken in the sink. Imbeciles, he thought with a mix of frustration and disappointment. Why did they always have to prove him wrong about their competence?
Now, he found himself troubled with seeking out you— another teacher who happened to be his dear beloved. He wasn't one to shy away from ranting about the incompetence of his students in private, often grumbling about how he wished his students were more like yours. After all, you never seemed to complain much about your own classes.
His perspective shifted, however, when he knocked on the door of your class and swung it open, only to be greeted by an expression of dread on your face—an expression he found somewhat amusing.
"Hm? You look distressed. Care to explain?" he pointed out, observing as you hunched over the lab sink, your expression deadpan as you glanced back at him.
"Veritas," you whined, facepalming yourself with a groan. "One of my students accidentally disposed of the platinum black powder while clearing out the empty containers." You could feel his stare, his raised eyebrow silently questioning how your students could mess up this badly.
"I think Herta is going to kill me when I report this to her," you added with a fake sob, walking over to him and tugging on his shirt for comfort. He let out a huff, shaking his head and ruffling your hair in a gesture of reassurance. "Just report it to Asta, she'll help you deal with it."
"Do you know how much that powder costs?!"
"Of course I do. But do you think this will make a dent in any of their accounts?"
"...Ah."
You let out a pout, smoothing your hair before directing a confused gaze at him. "Anyways, why did you come to look for me?" you questioned, genuinely curious. It was a rare occurrence for him to seek you out during work hours; he usually adhered strictly to his schedule and dismissed any potential distractions. A mischievous grin spread across your face as you continued, crossing your arms playfully. "Orrrr…did you miss me? Hmmm?"
He scoffed, flicking your forehead lightly as you yelped in surprise. "Don't be foolish," he retorted, but there was a faint hint of amusement in his eyes. "I came to ask if I could borrow some equipment from your lab."
"Equipment? Why? Don't you have everything you need already?" you asked, rubbing your forehead in mild exasperation as you watched him rummage through the cabinets in your classroom. "Those idiots managed to break almost half of everything in the lab, including several crucial apparatuses," Ratio grunted, rubbing his temple in frustration. You couldn't help but silently pray for his students, who would soon face his wrath upon his return to the lab.
Shrugging, you gave him a nod of confirmation to rummage through your cabinets for whatever he needed. "Yeah, go ahead. My class won't really be needing anything today anyways."
As he finished grabbing the necessary items, he paused when he felt another tug at his shirt. Turning around, he looked at you with a puzzled expression, noting the mischievous glint in your eyes— he knew that look all too well. "What is it?" he inquired cautiously.
You grinned cheekily at him, chuckling softly. "Just because I'm allowing you to borrow my stuff, doesn't mean I'm giving it to you for free."
He frowned, genuinely puzzled as to what you could possibly want in return. If you were anyone else, he might have already told you off and demanded you keep your hands to yourself. But you were his dear significant other, so he decided to play along. "Do tell me what it is that you want."
You hummed thoughtfully, continuing to fiddle with the purple fabric draped over his shoulder. "Hmm… I don't know. Why don't you take a guess?" you teased, a playful glint in your eyes. "It's something you forgot this morning," you added cryptically.
He stared at you with an unreadable expression, his mind working to decipher your words. "Something I forgot?" he muttered to himself, setting the basket of apparatus onto the table before narrowing his eyes at you. "I'd appreciate it if you'd get straight to the point, my dear," he said, a hint of impatience creeping into his tone.
With a sigh, you raised a finger and tapped it against your pouty lips, gazing at him with a mock frown.
Ratio paused, his mind working through the puzzle until the realization finally dawned on him. Ah, so that's what you were huffing about.
How childish.
"You want a kiss? Is that it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, half-amused and half-exasperated.
When you finally nodded with a triumphant smirk, Ratio felt his shoulders relax, shaking his head in quiet amusement. The corner of his lips twitched as if fighting the urge to curl into a smirk at your foolishness. "You're so childish, my love," he murmured, his voice soft but teasing.
He leaned in closer, his arms slipping around your waist, pulling you gently toward him. His other hand came up, fingers brushing your chin as he tipped your face upward.
You couldn’t help but smile giddily, heart fluttering in anticipation. And then, with a warmth that melted every teasing remark, his lips met yours in a soft, lingering kiss. It was gentle, affectionate— everything you had wanted.
He pulled away, a soft blush dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears, though he tried to maintain his composure. His thumb brushed teasingly against your bottom lip, causing you to meet his gaze with playful mischief in your eyes.
"That's it?"
He blinked, confusion flickering in his expression. "What do you mean 'that's it'?" he scoffed, gently pinching your cheeks in mild exasperation. "I gave you what you wanted— what else is there?"
You pouted dramatically, crossing your arms. "You took so many of my apparatus and other equipment. You think one kiss is gonna be enough? Scam!"
Ratio’s eyes widened for a moment before he let out a low chuckle, realizing you weren’t going to let him off the hook so easily. "A scam, you say?" He leaned in close again, a smirk tugging at his lips as his fingers traced your waist. "Alright, what will it take to settle this 'debt' of mine?"
You pretended to ponder, your eyes tracing over the familiar contours of his face. "Hmm… your total will beee…"
"Ten kisses," you declared proudly, flashing a playful grin. "And that’s with a discount!"
He rolled his eyes, letting out a barely audible groan. "You minx," he grumbled, though the way his fingers squeezed your waist and the softness in his eyes betrayed his affection. "Fine then, I won’t bargain any further."
With a defeated sigh, he leaned in and began peppering kisses across your face; nine quick ones, each accompanied by a light laugh from you. He saved the last one for your lips, pressing against you gently but with a familiar warmth that fit like the final piece of a puzzle.
Just when you thought it was over, he decided to push it a little further, keeping his lips locked with yours for longer this time. The kiss lingered, deep and slow, until you playfully smacked his shoulders with a soft whine. He finally pulled away, chuckling at the flushed look on your face, only to sneak in one last kiss— an eleventh.
You blinked in surprise, staring at him in mock disbelief as he casually turned back to pick up the basket of equipment. "Wha— that was eleven kisses!" you protested, though you weren’t exactly complaining.
He shrugged casually, walking out the door with a final glance over his shoulder. "Keep the change, sweetheart."
Before you could protest with a panicked look, he was already gone.
---
Ratio returned to his class a few minutes later than he'd intended, the usual sharpness in his stride slightly softened. As he entered, he noticed his students staring at him. Some with wide-eyed confusion, others with flushed cheeks, and more than a few giggling quietly amongst themselves.
Frowning, he set the borrowed equipment down on the table, neatly arranging it as he always did. "If there's something you'd like to ask, do speak. It is rude to stare," he said curtly, glancing up at them with his usual sternness.
There was an awkward pause before one of the braver students spoke up, trying to stifle a grin.
"Uh, Sir Ratio…there's lipstick on your lips."
His hand froze mid-motion, eyes widening slightly in realization. The clatter of glass breaking followed as two of the newly borrowed apparatus slid from his grasp and shattered on the floor.
The room fell silent.
He shuffled awkwardly, bending down to collect the shards of broken glass, his face a deep shade of red. Raising a hand to cover his mouth, he muttered curses under his breath, embarrassed by the situation. Clearing his throat, he tried to regain some semblance of composure. "Ahem— I apologize. Please continue with your reports while I clean this up."
Now he was 10 kisses in debt.
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anantaru · 4 months ago
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⚝ DAY 4 — BODY WORSHIP
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kinktober 2024. — masterlist | ao3
— including. — dr ratio, gallagher
— warnings. — fem! reader, body worship, fingering, constant praising <3 mating press
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⚝ — DR RATIO
dr. ratio’s hands were careful, like a sculptor admiring his finest work, tracing the contours of your body with a clinical precision that gradually gives way to admiration— and his gaze moves over you with a power that makes you feel like the most exquisite specimen, every inch of your skin holding his full attention.
"perfection," the man glances down to your spread legs with your folds being on full display, the color in his tone rural, as though he’s cataloging every detail in his mind. his fingers glide between your folds, your glistening slit, before trailing up to your clit, taking in the softness of your pussy like he’s memorizing the map of your body.
veritas takes his time, always, touching you as though each movement holds the weight of discovery, as though you’re the answer to a question he’s been trying to solve his entire life.
"you have no idea how perfect you are, do you?" he whispers inserts a finger and wiggles it around— the sloppy, wet noises your pussy was making only added to the aching pain in his cock.
he admires the way your muscles constrict around a single finger, how he shifts inside your skin and curls his digit, the smooth lines of your wall being slippery and so hot.
his lips brush over your collarbone as he inserts a second finger, then lower as he groans softly. "i could study you for hours… every inch of you is a masterpiece," his hips begin to grinf into the mattress as he toys with your pussy, stuffing you with two digits and scissoring them inside your drenched insides before taking a tit in his mouth.
one good suckle sent you up against the wall and he sees it— more precisely it's your teeth dug into your lower lip and your fingers digging into his shoulders as your toes curl into the blankets, mind fuzzy with being so loved, so cherished and appreciated by the man you so desperately desired.
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⚝ — GALLAGHER
gallagher had a way of being more on the direct side— if you catch my drill, unable to hide the awe in his gaze as his eyes roam across your form.
"damn, look at you," he breathes and smirks, the lust in his demeanor exuding the most intoxicating energy. his hands move immediately to your side, fingers tracing every curve, every line, like he’s trying to commit it all to memory, afraid he might miss something and needs to do it again— maybe then he should use his mouth to kiss every curve of your flesh.
there's a hunger in his eyes you were instantly deciphering, a hidden force to show just how much he adores every inch of you.
"you're… perfect," he brushes over your cheek.
gallagher tilts his head, eyes lingering on the smooth expanse of your stomach before his fingers side down to your thighs, making you wrap them around his waist.
his grip tenses slightly, his thumbs brushing the curve of your hips with an almost possessive severity as his cock stood erected and proudly between your folds.
"i don’t think you understand how beautiful you are," he takes his length before playfully slapping his tip against your pussy— once, twice, leaning down to press his lips to your shoulder as he opts to slide himself inside.
"fuck, ugh—always so tight," he rasps and rolls his eyes, biting into his lower lip to prevent his groan from coming out too loud as your hands find refuge in his disheveled hair, holding him in place.
his hips move forward with a deep rut, sliding in sloppily now while barely maintaining an even form— although that doesn't stop gallagher to fling your legs over his shoulders and press your thighs against your stomach to make you real tight for him, real messy and ugh, the view must be the most beautiful to him.
your face with tears bedding your lashes, your pouty lips being all bitten and pulsing, your pussy spread apart and fighting to keep him in as you squeeze and squeeze and squeeze him so dearly he notices a heart beat down there— while the sound of your juices were too distracting as well, gallagher might just need to take a taste of it first.
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©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify
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