#i’m way too anxious

[druggeddraccus]

i had to take bandit to the emergency vet tonight. he got a toad and i’m always bad at identifying them. i always think it’s a Bufo toad. and i was standing literally two steps away from him. i saw him chasing something called his name turned on my flashlight but he had already gotten it

me and my dad rinsed his mouth out and cause bandit got soaked in the process i gave him a bath and then after his bath he threw up 3 times. and then he was really lethargic and not walking properly and kept flopping over.

so i drove him to the vet while bawling and my mom met me there. they don’t think it was a bofu (he never had seizures or foaming at the mouth—none of the classic symptoms—and if he did it would’ve shown up quickly it’s never delayed onset)

so they gave him just fluids and anti nausea meds. and he’s been sleeping pretty much since we got home. but he’s more himself. still curious with noises and walking around normal. not fully playing or anything but he’s normal.

he would only eat a couple bites of plain rice but they said it’s normal if he doesn’t want to eat.

[turtleblogatlast]

Also hey I wanna say too that pretty much every single headcanon ever is valid. Even if they aren’t popular, even if they go against canon, even if they change on the regular and make for a throughly transformative work.

I think fandom is supposed to be fun and honestly it just acts like a toybox of sorts? With all these malleable characters as action figures that you play with as you like. If you wanna make them bigger or smaller or change their species or what they present as or how they sound or even act - you can! You can and you should!

Have fun, because you’ll inevitably find others who like what you do too. And even if you don’t, as long as you like it, then that’s what matters.

[susansontag]

I’ve become sort of more chilled out about the way I am. embarrassing to say that the judgement of peers (and honestly also my mother…) growing up had an actual impact on me but I just wasn’t accepting of the fact that the things I’m interested in are not only absolutely fine and adult interests but also are the things that now paradoxically seem to make people like and appreciate me… I just thought I wasn’t acceptable somehow but like who cares. I enjoy reading about complicated economic matters and knowing the names of birds and I like stuffed animals and animation and music no one has heard of (julia holter I will spread your influence…) and being very intense about women’s issues and being overly pedantic with my words and men’s clothes and learning about ecology. I don’t like makeup or going clubbing often or crowded spaces or tiktok or being in the city all the time without easy access to the countryside

none of these things themselves are remotely strange but it really did feel like everyone else was the opposite growing up. I just didn’t really know any weird quiet people at school it felt like I was the only one and I even found it hard to fit in with the nerdy crowd lol. really they were much more comfortable in who they were than I was and seemed much more confident and outgoing… but literally who cares I’m tired of being too embarrassed to play my own music out loud in my house or decorate my space without fear of judgement it’s exhausting. the amount of normalcy I feel I owe my mother is insane like she is straight up not nice to me at times and I know this is true because I have conversations with friends who had much less judgemental parents and the difference between some of them and me is crazy so many more little things make me way more anxious. maybe she actually shouldn’t have made me feel weird about the clothes I wear or how I spend my own money into my adulthood… when did I become such a pushover. I’m not trying to be resentful but I’m an adult she’s literally not allowed to say some of this stuff to me in the way she does… my brother had to stand up for me before when she asked me why I’d bought a man’s knitted vest like genuinely enough… enough !

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

[paimonial-rage]

Character Ask Meme

Lyney 14, 15 and 23

[Character Analysis Ask Meme]

Would Lyney be honest with you?

With his outgoing and fun personality, it oftentimes is easy to get caught within his flow. Lyney is the charming sort, after all, that one may very well forget that he is subject to the same struggles as the rest. Get to know him well enough, though, and you will quickly realize that this is not a fact he wishes others to know. More than a desire, he needs to be seen as someone in control, as someone without weakness. That’s his role as the big brother. And if that means lying, avoiding, and omitting the truth to accomplish it, then as an accomplished performer he will do as he must.

Does Lyney prefer to pursue or be pursued?

With a penchant for flair and dramatics, it’s clear to see Lyney prefers to pursue the people he’s interested in. Really, it’s one of the things he goes all out. With a trick up his sleeve, he won’t hesitate to dazzle you with flowers pulled from nowhere and fireworks from his tophat. He wants you to be enchanted. He wants you to be impressed! You are, aren’t you? You like it, don’t you? So focused on charming you that he often loses sight of much else. Fun fact, should you attempt to turn the tables, however, you can expect his mask of self-confidence to fall to reveal a rather flustered expression beneath.

Headcanons under the cut!

Headcanons

Self-focused - If there’s one thing that’s true about Lyney, it is that he is a very busy person. As a person with multiple masks and roles, his thoughts are often preoccupied with House missions, performances, new tricks, and things of the like. So, much to the dismay of others, it’s easy for things to become buried under the multitude of other tasks he needs to take care of. How often the simple things become forgotten—where he last left his wallet, tea time with his siblings, the sale on picture books at the bookstore. During those times, he really can’t help but appreciate his siblings and their ability to keep him on track. Really, he doesn’t know what he’d do without them!

Relationship-focused - It doesn’t hit you at first, but it doesn’t take you very long to notice how hard Lyney tries for your relationship. Normally this would be a good thing, but it is different with Lyney. Every day he tries to charm you. Every day he attempts to enchant you. You tell him he doesn’t need to try so hard, but that only seems to light a fire beneath him to do even more. You see it in his eyes. He needs to know you are still in awe of him, that you like him as much as he does you. And then it sinks in, doesn’t it? He doesn’t trust you. He doesn’t trust your feelings for him. You’re not sure if he ever will.

[ghoul--doodle]

I am once again posting a reference sheet that was not supposed to be posted individually but I’m too impatient to wait until I finish the others so here he is! My silly guy Bailey

[finethingswellworn]

Welp… Just finished Harrow the Ninth… I think I’ve been irrevocably changed as a person. No, I know it. What the fuck even was that? Also, my heart is broken, shattered, obliterated…

A pit has opened in my stomach and even though I have the third book right here in front of me, I don’t know if I can bear to open it yet and start reading.…

God, now I’m being dramatic just like these fucking characters.

[belleandsaintsebastian]

trying to be kind to my brain but it’s really really hard bc i hate it. soooo much at the moment

[spidrboots]

xxx.

[sangcreole]

damn. this is genuinely the only space on the internet where I feel completely at peace.

[wraithdance]

Book title idea: To All the Mutuals I’ve Ghosted Before and its sequel It’ll Probably Happen Again I’m Sorry

[why-the-heck-not]

But aside from the absolute trainwreck that’s my bachelor’s thesis currently, the C++ course is starting tmrw and I’m kinda excited!! C++ is one of those that’s been on my ”to learn”-list for like 2-3 years now so I’m very happy to finally start (tho I did teach myself the very basics like a year ago, but haven’t used it since and have forgotten basically everything)

[danidoesathing]

Went to a Bear ghost concert last night. Fucking insane show I got a spot in the front right up against the stage. My eardrums are gone and my head is fucking pounding but god it was so worth it just for Rivers is a Vampire and Sirens live.

And of course the merch haul. There was a meetup with the band afterwards where I got my poster signed and a pic taken with them :)

[lil-bit-louder]

R

[a-lesbianshadowinthenight]

there is something wrong with me because i have a link to watch sugar daddy but i don’t want to use it because i asked kelly if i was available in australia (see reply below) + i wanted to reply once i’ve watched it to tell her how good it is (because i know it’s going to be incredible) but i’m worried if i tell them i’ve watched it they’ll know i watched it illegally + i feel bad about watching it illegally anyways even though it’s not available here so it’s not like i can watch it legally where they get money from me streaming/buying (also can’t remember how piracy works + how it negatively impacts independent filmmakers so maybe i don’t understand how filmmakers get paid and it doesn’t actually make a difference). but like……. this is all insane bc kelly doesn’t give a fuck i’m just a stranger who’s a fan of their work they’re not gonna care about any of this lmaooooooooooo

[blaithnne]

so I’m realising my intense anxiety for Hilda’s third season to come out is PROBABLY an autism thing