#i think im pretty valid
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hello i am lorna and i habe been wayching lost for the first time w my bff ever rain. here are my ratings so far . will be updated.
ep 1- 7/10. loved shannon. loved sawyer. too much jack. hated charlie and his singing. “you all everybody! you all everybody!”
ep 2- 9/10 more sawyer i love him so much i actually am going crazy i dunno what else to say an this one
ep 3 - hurley is so funny and i love kate 10/10 no orher comments
ep 4 JOHN I LOVEEEE YOUUUU THIS IS FONNA KILL MEEEEE UGHHHHH 10/10. loved walt and sun. i love walt. hes so cute. ialso “the mighty huntress returns”. died a little. jack shut up btw. rose i love you . john badkstory killed me so so so much so harshly.
ep 5- “shouldve stayed down jack” yeah beat his ass i hate u jack. also i hate the way he swims why r u doing that. boones sideburns make me giggle why is he so. sun youre gorgeous and i love you. “are you a gemini?” claire youre amazing . “dogs can find pot and bombs so im sure they can find water”. way too much jack so far hes so uninteresting to me. i cant. jack pls stop running. also more suit guy! SUIT GUY IS ? JACKS DAD? wowzer. claire i love u. i love u claire. “hell, i’m an optimist” SAWYER I LOVE YOU SO MUCB I LOVE U SAWYER IM. “crazy people dont know theyre gettin crazy, they think theyre getting saner.” john ur so 💕💕 jacks dad is ? dead ? wow that was ssometjing. hi again sawyer. 9/10
ep 6- SUN!!!! SUNNNN!’!!!! charlie shut up. MICHEAL OH MY GOSH?? THATS?? IM??? “drugs. right” SHUT UP CHARLIE. SUNNNN SUN I LOVE YOU SUNNN. “whens your birthday?” odhsjdhsks 7/10
ep 7- already hate it. charlie i dont like u. SAWYER!!!!! sawyer snd kate are kind of … i like them maybe … jack and kate too thiugh cayse yk ANYWAYS charlie religious? i relate to him more everyday. “relax, choir boy” “i want my drugs back. i need em. im sick man, cant you see that?” hes so . hes so. okay i. yeah i get you charlie. yeah. sideburns is back! alrighty! SAWYER!!!!! sawyer and kate I LIKE THEM A LOT. A LOT. “oh, you’re feeling sorry for me.” “i dont feel sorry for you. i pity you.” “all you had to do was say please” SAWYER PDHSJRHWKDBAMBEMS. maybe not hating charlie so much. i love him actually hes so me. excrpt for his band. “you all everybody!��� AGAIN!!! i cant be the only one who thinks shannon and boone are kind of weird to be siblings srry. “i want to stop feleing like this” CHSRLIEEEEE. “it was about the music, liam. you took that from me.” dude charlie is so. the way i hnderstand why he talks ab his band so much now! jesus chirst i LOVE U CHARLIE. “dude you rock!” charlie. NO CHARLIE. OHHH OKAY. im so happy for you. 1000000/10 i died
ep 8- SAWYER. SAWYERRRR. SAWYER! “thus my hat!” claireee 💕💕💕 “you wanna know what kinf of human being i am? read it. out loud. 😡” sawyer. cmon sawyer. sawyer ur the prettiest man ive ever seen. Sawyerrr. sawyer and kate kiss. wouldve been much better if it was under any other circumstances ever. sawyer. ur such a cunt i love u. the LETTER. CLAIRE AND CHARLIE!!! I LOVE U GUYS!!
ep 9 - sawyer 💕💕💕💕 SAYID ?! SAYID??? sayid. GOLF COURSE! SAYIDDDDD!!! SAYID I LOVE UUU ! SHANNONNN!! SAWYERR!’ MUSIC BOX! SAYID AND NADIA OH MY GOD. THE. THE. HIS. HE. IM. NDIDHEIRHSJDBSK I CANNOT. DANIELLE. IM. “i cant let you go. dont you understand? to have someone to talk to. to touch.” THIS IS PEAK “ive been holding on the past seven years to just a thought.” CHARLIE PLAYING GOLF!!! hes so great i love him. SAWYERRRR !!!!! SAWYER !! 10.3/10
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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shuake works because it feels like akechi's the only one who listens to akira and prompts the otherwise quiet leader to talk.
in a game about defiant teens making their voice heard, goro akechi listens to akira's voice from the get-go. out of detective-sleuthing/work duties, sure, but over time it's clear that akechi genuinely finds akira interesting.
in fact, akechi's confidant route regardless of which game is being played starts with him deeming akira the antithesis to his thesis, a "worthwhile debate partner". akechi values joker's opinions.
its always nice to see people point out that in that one 3rd sem phone call with akechi, its the most involved akira's been in a conversation in-game. i myself remember inserting a lot more input during that story-sequence which usually i can put on autoplay otherwise. akechi, in a whole different reality, still seeks out joker's opinions on it. it's like he trusts no one but him.
and imo this gives a lot of character to akira. he talks the most with akechi. the quietest people have the most on their minds, and it shows with akira. but akira never gets a say in anything, and who would listen? he's less than a nobody in reality since society dictated that. so he pointedly made himself silent, hiding his thoughts beneath an impenetrable mask. during important story moments, akira favors doing more than saying. his teammates and confidants are all directly inspired by his actions over the course of the game.
but with akechi, it's different. actions seem to take a backseat as they continue with their verbal back-and-forth. in rank 7 of royal, they play pool while talking, but it's clear to the outsider that the focus is in the layered conversation they're having. they primarily talk everytime akechi's in the coffee shop, because they dont usually see eachother in their busy schedules. it's not just "hi, hello, how are you?" with them but "i find you and everything you stand for interesting. let's talk more."
there's something to be said about how two people with vastly different and opposing views seek eachother out to further discuss things instead of antagonizing eachother. its why maruki said "despite being enemies, your relationship was never based on hatred or ill will".
their relationship was never a one-sided thing. akechi helps joker as much as joker helps him... arguably more. he eggs joker on, shows him that he can do better. otherwise, the leader would remain stagnant and unchallenged. there is no progress where there is no thesis and-- you can finish the rest.
#persona 5#shuake#goro akechi#akira kurusu#been defensively quiet lately and was thinking how nice it is to have someone listen to and validate my thoughts.#maybe not always agree but. making me feel like my words are worthwhile#aishi.docx#and then i realized thats exactly what akechi does with joker. damn rivals...#they should exist irl too...#oh to have a smug pretty n intelligent boyfriend telling me im smart while he twirls his spoon in the tea i made him...#anyway i really like the topic of joker's quietude cause i feel like it makes sense that he wasnt always like that at all.#him becoming quiet after getting shut down over and over is like. so humbling and a real epidemic i fear...#this is a personal post more than anything i feel HSJDBJS me giving joker my fears and pains. but actually joker copied ME#(said like a totally normal person)
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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wrestling fic writers!!
i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months
if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found
and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom
and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways
a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜
nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you
and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)
as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!
101 comment starters
ao3 floating comment box
kudos html
dont know how to comment? easy solutions
a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)
an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers
and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place
i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together
happy sharing and commenting 💜💜
#wrestling fanfiction#wrestling fic#aew fanfic#aew fanfiction#wwe fanfiction#wwe fanfic#i hope this make some sort of coherent sense#despite being a writer im really bad at words lmao#i also dont know what to tag this with without clogging main tags so im going to trust moots to get this going first#just. this is a topic im passionate about. i love writing i love writers and having seen the wrestling fandom as of late really struggling#with this. we need to do something. even a little bit helps. actually get people leaving feedback and commenting again#supporting each other. we can do this together#dont let dreams be dreams lets fucking do this#just be nice and help each other out#im gonna stop now before i get overly emotional. if theres any questions let me know tho i think i got the main parts pretty clear here#again moots. im trusting you to get this started. im not gonna add my own shit here immediately this isnt about me#this is about the community as a whole#i also hope nobody is afraid of adding themselves here. you are all valid and worth the attention no matter what#just remember to also give if you leave something here. look at the previous links. look in the notes to find more people#okay thats it i need to make dinner now#lets just be kind and support one another. promise me that 💜#night is an absolute mess on main
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people in the sims 4 modding community are fightinggggggg bc one of the build cc creators is paywalling their stuff for months before releasing it for free to the public when most cc creators range from like. 2 weeks to a month?? anyway it’s a fight to the death between people who say anyone having a problem with it should just make their own and is automatically entitled and get ur bag know ur worth etc and people who say yeah sure but don’t be so rude to people asking why you’re releasing holiday content to the public in february. anyway i see elements of both sides so im watching the arguing like a cat watching christmas tree ornaments
#i’m probably making this seem bigger it was only a few reddit threads but i was fascinated#i just checked and they have over 3000 paid members and the tiers are $2 and $4 so like. no wonder ur putting up long ads paywalls#ass** phone i meant ASS#anyway as a ~content creator~ myself who doesn’t get paid and instead has paid for like software and stuff. that creator needs to get over#themself aksjakdjflg . but like it comes with the territory when you toe the line between ‘i make this stuff bc im passionate and love the#response i get from others and the joy it brings ME’ and ‘hey i’m pretty good at this let me see if i can make a living off it’#like both are valid thoughts. but that’s where most cc creators’ ideal setup comes from. give a paid option for a bit early then release to#the public a few weeks later. anyway idk why i’m rambling i think it’s bc i slept so long and had a bad dream that my mom bought a second#dishwasher and REPLACED our stove and we got in a huge fight only for me to wake up and realize it was a dream and i shouldn’t actually be#mad at her akdhakshdkfl
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i see u like vrisjade .. would you be willing to explain what u think their dynamic would be . i want to like it but ive never been able to wrap my head around what they would be like
theyre not my otp i just draw them for clout
my understanding is that the appeal lies in a bit of wishful thinking. "what if vriska learned to be nicer?" and "what if jade went a little apeshit?" i do think they would work well as kismeses (or, more likely, one-sided blackrom crushes because jade has other things going on and can't be bothered to spend her whole life obsessing over the girl who gave her narcolepsy as a kid), but pretty much all the stuff you'll find for them is redrom vriska rehabilitation fluff (which is CUTE and WHOLESOME and FUN, and i ENJOY DRAWING IT, but . . . i like it when vriska is kinda balls to the wall insane instead of all niceys).
SO! that being said, i do think their dynamic would be really interesting even in a non-shipping context because they DO definitely need to clear the air re: the whole narcolepsy and viciously insulting your teen grandpa within 5 minutes of officially meeting him thing. i stand by what i said in this post about their dynamic, noting furthermore that vriska does mention and talk about jade a lot in the comic despite never having a canonical conversation with her (it's implied; she is in jade's trollslum on pesterchum after all), so . . . vriska definitely thinks about jade more than jade thinks about vriska, and probably projects a whole lot onto jade as a sort of kanaya-aradia amalgamation proxy. she totally fumbled those two, but SURELY she can stick the landing on this smart and silly genius who CLEARLY needs a good blackrom bucketing to loosen up. right???????? human romance isn't that complicated and it's not like her dating pool is super wide what with the rest of the humans either locked in monogamous relationships (with trolls, narrowing vriska's competition further) or being "in families" with jade.
it would be really funny for them to end up in a quasi-auspisticeship (likely candidates for the third wheel being karkat, john, and regrettably kanaya im so sorry bbg) or for vriska to have an aneurysm upon finding out about human polyamory and the simple fact that jade has more positive and developed dynamics with Many other characters before she even thinks of vriska.
tl;dr i'm the wrong person to ask if you want to be sold on vrisjade i just think they're neat individually and dont mind drawing them together
#vriska serket#mod 8#daily vriska serket#vriska#daily vriska#homestuck#jade harley#jade#vrisjade#jadevris#vriska x jade#jade x vriska#pretty much all of my stances on vrika femslash is 'i think it's funny when she copes and seethes over generally not being very likeable'#esp with the final gang her options are like. her ex. girl she never talked to. girl who has voiced actual dislike for her.#girl she never talked to who ALSO has reasons to actively dislike her. terezy (terezy)#this character isnt even a girl youre just fanoning your way to femslash AND theyve never talked/have beef/are exes#like. vrika likes women but most women she knows have fair & valid reasons not to like her back. shipping is fun and i like to do it but lb#shes single. or cosmically entwined with terepy in a tragic(?) doomed(?) relationship thats epic like the aenead#(no not the iliad or odyssey i know what im doing here and if youre familiar w the aenead u know what im talking about)#either way any reasonable bystander with better alternatives would not touch that with a ten foot pole
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Btw as much as I feel for losing a former member of mcr (probably the main reason I feel sad about it) I also don't think white fans (like me) have ANY right to tell fans of color that they can't celebrate Bob's death. I might be sad because of the ache of losing a contributor to art that means a lot to me, but in NO world does that give me the right to tell someone they can't make memes about the death of racist. Sorry!
I am sad because I don't believe anyone deserves death, because I don't believe in punitive justice. But I also don't believe people are bad for feeling vengeful feelings against someone who actively harmed their community. As a trans person, I especially feel that with Bob. I didn't like him. I am sad about his death. Those can exist together, as much as letting people celebrate Bob's death while also understanding it was a brutal way to go. No one is happy about the three weeks before he was found part. But if someone is happy a racist died, I don't think it's my or other white people's place to tell fans of color they shouldn't feel that way.
#mcr#bob bryar#i hope this articulated well. im not sure its as clear as i think it is but#to me it's pretty simple to understand: mourning is fair enough but so is celebrating#and no one can tell someone not to feel validated by the fact that a maga guy died alone.#is his death sad and brutal? yes!!#personally i actually cried thinking about being alone like that in death#but that's a very personal feeling#that is not born from my moral beliefs#sometimes you have to process the emotions in order to get them out of the way to reach an ethical understanding of the situation#and at the end of the day: as a leftist i will never support the 'deserved' narrative of the death of shitty people--#--but likewise i will NEVER. EVER. tell someone theyre a bad person for being glad a shitty guy is dead#especially when he caused ACTIVE harm to their liberties as a person#everything has nuance and especially this situation#please. my fellow white mcr fans. PLEASE. be normal about letting poc celebrate bob's death.
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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im like. in SUCH a good mood. there is noooooo better feeling than really wanting a role and then getting cast as that role. hasn't happened to me in a hot minute and i forgot this absolute RUSH!!! riding HIGH!!!! 2024 is gonna be MY YEAR BABEY!!!!!
#literally the role i was born to play this is why i was blessed with the same face as katie mcgrath#(i got cast as morgana le fey in a cool audio drama)(one of my top evilgirl icons)#and i am LIVINNNGG#i was also cast as a more minor and less exciting role in the project but im happy to play that one as well and its validating that#the casting director thinks my two charas were distinct enough to cast me as both <3#i feel prettyyyy oh so pretttyyy i feel pretty and witty and gaaaaayyy etc
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Beach selfies that I'll post until I inevitably get insecure and take them down
#im so much more masc than my inserts only because i need irl people to validate me 😭#if it were up to me I'd be the pretty femme i was before t but alas i care too much about what people think 😔#not that im unhappy with my appearance currently though#dream pics#it me
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Happy “panic attack at the thought of doing anything” season guys!!!🎉🎉🎉
#time change hits and BOOM everything is paralyzing and terrifying!!#it’s so fun!!#I’ll make sure I don’t push people away this year#that’ll make things worse#but UUUUUGH OMFG#Annoying#i feel very useless whenever I’m like this#and i constantly seek validation to prove to myself something i don’t know#I think I’m trying to prove that even like this I’m not completely useless#that people care even when im this pathetic#it’s annoying because I only started to feel better in like August?#getting broken up with definitely didn’t help but I hope this feeling doesn’t last that long again#bc it drives me crazy#yap yappity yap#I am so annoying!!! why do people like me!!! why can’t I just be normal!!! I wish I could be useful!!!#no one should look up to me or admire me like they do#I’m barely holding myself together why do people think highly of me#im pretty pathetic#but it’s fine I’ll be okay#there are people who love me a lot#even if I tell myself they shouldn’t they will love me anyway#things will be okay again. I don’t need to be strong I just need to push through#maybe there’s strength in that or maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better#i just don’t know what to do with myself when doing anything brings that horrible weight on my chest#but I’ll persist. I always do and I will do so again
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there's still like two weeks until the next chapter release and obv there's no guarantee whose pov we're going to get, but i feel the need to talk about how i think fukuzawa needs to die and why it may happen now, during his confrontation with fukuchi at the airport
first of all, his ability. like many other abilities it's a plot device, used specifically to enable atsushi and kyouka to use their abilities in a controled way. this obviously works when they first join the agency, helping them regain agency over their lives in some capacity and learn how to utilize them in safe way. but for either of them (but atsushi specifically) to have a full and satisfying character arc they need to be able to use their abilities without an external factor. fukuzawa won't be in their lives forever (regardless what happens on the airport) and it would be,, anticlimactic almost to leave them only kind of in control of their own powers. also, in both their cases gaining control over the abilities isn't just a matter of harnessing power, it's about self-acceptance and reconciliation with their past. atsushi needs to come to terms with the tiger living inside of him the same way kyouka needs to accept demon snow's involvement in her parents death. fukuzawa's death is the only thing that can force them into further character development in this sense
another thing is just how much asagiri went out of his way to establish kunikida as the next ada president. don't get me wrong, even if fukuzawa never dies in the manga those chapters will still hold up both as an excellent character study and a fun information to have, but looking at them from the current perspective it's a chekov's gun. we are told exactly why it's supposed to be kunikida and that he's backed by the other agency members. and to add to that, the cannibalism arc establishes his own doubts regarding being expected to be the leader and his issues with easily shutting down when in extreme stress. i've seen people say that this is proof he's not fit for the position and that it should be ranpo instead, but to me that's just establishing a character arc, showing a flaw he'd have to overcome
and i suppose in general, fukuzawa dying would have an enormous impact of the agency members as a whole. just ranpo and yosano would be put into an extreme situation, where the person they're incredibly close with, who gave them a safe place to be themselves is now gone and they have to navigate the world on their own. and we have no idea how much all men are equal impacts everyone's abilities. im thinking specifically about kenji here. we know the reason he followed fukuzawa was so that he could get his ability under control but how bad is it without his help? is light snow even more powerful than shown until now? are the limitations on yosano's and kunikida's abilities arbitrary?
and the last thing is, fukuzawa's death would play well into the over arching theme of the death of the status quo. nothing will be the same after this arc, even if cleared of the terrorism accusation the agency won't just go back to how it used to operate, likely having to regain public trust.
so yeah i hope he dies and i hope fukuchi dies alongside him. i love you old men yaoi <3
#txt.#bsd#bsd theory#i think???#im pretty sure i wrote sth similar before in tags of some silly one line post#well. not its stupidly long#pls pls someone validate my musings
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every woman on earth is the most beautiful show stopping incredible gorgeous person alive and 90% of men make me go ewwwwww…what is that..
#i don’t even mean this in a misandrist way#tho i do <3 misandry#just genuinely. any woman could make me blush simply by existing#yet my taste in men is so highly specific and niche and anyone outside of it is like..ew. to me.#idk. i like a pretty boy. a lot.#all other men im either entirely neutral like they make me feel nothing or sometimes i am actually a little grossed out#i feel weird being bi sometimes i like the label for myself a lot it feels comfy for me#but it’s like ah yes. bisexual. i am attracted to Every Woman and maybe like idk 10 men on earth?#which i know still is a valid form of bisexuality !#but still..i like being bi and calling myself bi and being able to use the label#but sometimes i’m like…what if i’m. not.#i do like men just only some. but i do still like them. so like. i don’t think im a lesbian#and i like the idea of being with a woman just as much as i like the idea of being with a man (that suits my tastes)#for me it’s generally fluid like sometimes im leaning more towards wanting a girlfriend sometimes i want a boyfriend#but at the end of the day i would be happy with either#also not trying to exclude anyone outside strictly male or female obvs#well i hope it’s obvs. i would of course be interested in someone who’s not a girl or boy or anything at all#it’s just easier for me to word it like that. while i sort out my thoughts#basically. i think im having a crisis#snow.txt
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yet again the most basic sketch in the world but turned out weirdly good because I was 'testing' brushes haphazardly again ;_;
why can I not PURPOSEFULLY draw good? lmao /j
been neglecting to work on/develop Valeyna a bit more lately so I guess this is a sketch out of pity in a way jhgjhdf (im sorry bby I will work past this writing block)
#myart#sketch#oc#doodle#artists on tumblr#art#original character#drawing#digital art#i usually prefer sharper brushes buuut I kinda like this one because it's two-toned but like... subtly#i got demotivated a while back reading a twitter post talking about how ppl don't look at other ppls oc art because they draw them just#'standing around not doing anything'#and while I think that's valid criticism and I know the gen'd art bullshit really put a dent in the 'art just for aesthetic' thing#I don't think there's any harm in just... sketching smth simple that is a design we might go 'oohh' about especially for ourselves#not everything has to tell some deep story or anything... it's not a comic... i just wanna draw pretty/'cool' shit ya know?#but maybe im just biased and that's my imposter syndrome showing lmaooo#not everyone has constant urge/desire to draw or be ambitious and like... why does that seem shunned or frowned on?#idk i digress this was just supposed to be a quick post cuz I like this sketch whooops lmao
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Hmmm I actually had a bit of an epiphany (im not sure if im using this word right—tbh till the other day i was pretty sure it had something to do with an epileptic attack perhaps) and I think Im gonna reboot Meine again. I did it once bc this wip is literally made from picked up pieces from an old story idea (for another medium) mamy years ago, so I had to start over, and to be honest I think we've gotten pretty far. The ideas are pretty solid and we can roll a full story with this. But every now and then there are a few elements that I want to fit now and don't work and a few bits that aren't really, you know, fun.
So I'm gonna pick up a (metaphorical) hammer and (metaphorically) break down this wip again. I'm gonna pick up the pieces, and shift it to a story I really, really will want to tell.
#said that im not gonna do Dramatic Shifts probably#just like#shove everything im currently working with in another folder and then grab a new one and cherry pick the parts from the 2nd version that#i liked#like i did with trisaster. or ein#and im probably gonna do the same with t&o :P#its a valid process i think#i can pull together some really endearing worldbuilding this time#retrace everyone's backstories#make paralels and play around#now that i have a pretty solid base#it'll be fun#my wips#meine wips#rambles
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