#despite being a writer im really bad at words lmao
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the-kipsabian Ā· 1 year ago
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wrestling fic writers!!
i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months
if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found
and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom
and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways
a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! šŸ’œ
nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you
and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)
as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!
101 comment starters
ao3 floating comment box
kudos html
dont know how to comment? easy solutions
a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)
an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers
and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place
i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together
happy sharing and commenting šŸ’œšŸ’œ
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neonsbeasts Ā· 2 months ago
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OCtober 11 - symbolism
ok yeah technically im not doing any kind of OCtober official prompt list but this specific one inspired me to infodump abt my angel coded girlie so weā€™re here anyway and youā€™re coming down with me. hand in unlovable hand.
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OKAY SO this post is about Featherbreeze from my warriors ocverse StarClanā€™s Chosen (no relation to the MAProject itā€™s been called that since 2014)
Detailed Backstory Infodump TM below the cut but the symbolism part! is that she is extremely angel coded. Featherbreeze spends most of the story being a guardian angel type character to Owlgaze and Robinwing (my blorbos of all time forever) by giving them everything that she couldnā€™t have. And sheā€™s a Fallen Angel in that she gets kicked out of heaven for it. and that she likes going against cat heavenā€™s rules in general bc medicine cats not being allowed to date is stupid and not being allowed to love a cat from another clan is stupid and people should be able to do whatever they want forever!! so her main deal is using her starclan powers to be d the rules around her personal favorite little guys bc of the injustice she experienced in a similar situation. I love her so bad. hereā€™s some more art as a treat ok bye <3 (the hiii girlie one was made by my bestie and co-writer @rockythebunny13 we love her)
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LORE INFODUMP DOWN HERE IF YOU WANT IT ā¬‡ļø
so this girlie was medicine cat of her clan (not specifying which one bc baby neon apparently gave her the same prefix as the clan she was in?? And thatā€™s confusing???? we do our best) but could not deny she was bit of a hopeless romanticā€¦she ended up falling Hard for this warrior from another clan named Darkpool and they had a cute little secret forbidden romance. like he would bring her pretty shells and smooth stones and feathers and things he would find on patrol. everything was chill until eventually they were found out and punished for breaking the code and (I can never decide if this is related to the punishment or not) Featherā€™s tragic death in a raid on her clan šŸ˜”
so now our girl Featherbreeze is in starclan and despite it being cat heaven nobody there reallyā€¦likes herā€¦bc they know what she did technically broke the code so even if she didnā€™t like. do anything bad enough to get into cat hell theyā€™re still kinda rude about it generally. she spends most of her time watching the living cats like theyā€™re tv lmao. speaking of that- after many many moons she notices two young medicine cats Owlpaw(gaze) and Robinpaw(wing) having some kinda attraction and she sees herself in them. and sheā€™s still really hung up on how unfair it is that she should be punished for literally just kissing a cat from another clan (especially while being a medicine cat what the heck?!) and these two should be able to have what she couldnā€™t, dammit! so she starts setting into motion a plan to fake a prophecy with her own two hands that will signal to them that itā€™s ok for them to date they have ā€œstarclans blessingā€ or whatever. and it goes really well! and from that point on she goes out of her way to use her powers to give them their own secluded little dream space so they can have dates and stuff in peace without endangering anyone irl. and their relationship starts really flourishing from these meetings!! even if it does kinda lead to Owl sleeping a lot of the time bc heā€™d rather hang out in the dream space than like. being a real person. but whatever <3
unfortunately thereā€™s a little snitch (Pebblesplash) who has it out for Feather and gets the word out somehow and that gets the dream meetings shut down and Feather ultimately kicked out of starclan to become a wandering spiritā€¦that sucksā€¦.she wanders around for a bit trying to find out if anyone can even see her and tries to contact Owl and Robin but they in fact, cannot. they end up meeting in secret irl since they miss each other and she watches over them still. this eventually leads to Many Problems but thatā€™s a whole other post. tysm for reading please tell me if u did bc im not convinced anyone wants to hear abt it lmao
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ectopuppy Ā· 5 months ago
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which ben 10 series do u like best??!! im a sucker for the original series bc of nostalgia personally, but they are all good in their own ways
this is an impossible question to answer so im just gonna talk about why i love each series im sorry and thank you anon for gifting me this opportunity to ramble about The Hyperfixation (tm) o7
This is going under a cut btw. It's a little under 3000 words of unedited thoughts so like, just a heads up lmao
Why is the Original Series Good?
So first! Before I get into it! I overall just fucking love Ben 10 conceptually in general! I've always loved aliens and sci-fi and superheroes so you can imagine how excited I was to stumble onto this show airing on teletoon when I was just a tiny Kiki.
The OS has a lot going for it, but the big one is, of course, the nostalgia factor. Iconic as fuck! Fun theme song! Max is there! Yay!!
The BEST character in the OS is Max and I WILL die on that hill. Even as a kid I fucking loved him. Ben and Gwen are fun characters, but Max is the much needed reprieve from them constantly bickering. (Which is one thing I'm glad there's a lot less of in later series.)
Ben is a compelling hero, and the OS is an amazing START POINT for him. While he does have character growth in the OS, I would not be THIS obsessed with him if the OS was the only Ben 10 media that existed. He's a kid. A bit of a brat, but always TRYING to do the right thing. Which he's not always great at considering he's, you know, 10, but he really does try.
Something a lot of people seem to brush past when talking about Ben is that at the beginning of the series he was actively friendless and being bullied at school. I feel like that's a huge factor in why the Omnitrix is so important to his identity in later series. (or even in the Xylene episode when he finds out the Omnitrix was supposed to be for Max) He really didn't have much going for him before that. Being a hero is very likely one of the first times he's felt like he belongs somewhere, you know? Anyway..
Gwen is also very fun in the OS. UAF filed down her teeth just a little too much in my opinion. A lot of her personality in the OS is her THINKING she's sooo much more mature than Ben despite also being a fucking grade schooler. (They are literally the EXACT same age, right down to sharing a birthday.) She's is just as immature as Ben, no matter how much she thinks she isn't. It's just that her smug "I know better." attitude doesn't cause outfacing issues as often as Ben being impulsive and a little self centred.
The OS also benefits from being the "spaghetti on the wall" series. Things just kinda worked however the writers wanted at the moment. Big point here: Magic got to just be magic. (I have made a whole ass post RE: Anodite Gwen so I wont get into it here, but I like the retcon. That statement does not conflict with the above.) Gwen getting fed up being sidelined and going "Fuck it I'm learning magic." is so good and I love it.
I feel like it is impossible to not like the OS in some form, because it's the Original Series. Everything that happens later can only have happened BECAUSE of the OS. Is it my favourite series? No. But it's charming and silly and fun and I love it. c:
Why is Alien Force Good?
Alien Force is a tonal downshift for the series. The era it was made in was the era of Gritty Cartoons for Cool Boys, and it shows. Now, this is not a bad thing to ME, but I know a lot of people don't like the heavier atmosphere of Alien Force, especially in its opening arc. Like... episode 1 (or 2 not sure, but it's in the premiere) of AF has a dude straight up just fucking die, which is kinda. A lot. I can see where people are coming from.
HOWEVER.
Personally, I love the entire DNAlien arc, and it's use as a coming of age story for Ben. A big part of AF is Ben realizing that he needs to grow up. In the OS he was a kid. Max was the leader and the beacon of morality. In AF Max is MIA from episode 1. Gwen is more mature, and has mellowed out a lot, but she just isn't a leader. Kevin should never be put in charge of other people, so he's out. So it's Ben. He has to step up and lead, because there IS nobody else.
But, also the show is not gloomy! It has it's moments, and I get why people might watch the premiere and think "Hmm, too dark.", but AF is silly as hell. I will point to the Alien X episode as my basis here. It's smack in the middle of the DNAlien arc, and it's dumb as hell. Again, I have made a whole ass post about this, but the gist is: I love Alien X being a god being with the ability to do LITERALLY anything, but Ben gets so frustrated that he refuses to use it unless the universe is actively collapsing. (Also, the incurseans are there, and they are never not silly lmao)
But to me, the best thing AF did for the series was give it structure. The OS was extremely episodic, but the front half of AF is held together with a tight plot line. The back half not so much, but it does have a lot going for it character wise. Case in point:
Let's talk about Kevin. c:
Kevin was always a fun villain in the OS. Any time he showed up I knew we were in for a fun time, so him becoming part of the main cast (As a hero and friend no less!) in AF was a major selling point to me personally. Unlike with Gwen, I feel like they sanded him down just enough. He's still kinda sleazy and a bit of a shithead, but now he's trying to do better.
I'm aware the explanation for this behaviour is that the Omnitrix energy he absorbed in the OS drove him crazy or whatever, but that's not something we get up front if memory serves. He really does seem like he naturally just grew up and realized acting how he did when he was 11 wasn't exactly getting him anywhere good.
Kevin's arc in the back half of AF plays really well with Ben's arc. Ben is at an all time high after saving the universe, while Kevin gets mutated again and has a really shitty time. Ben getting humbled while Kevin gains confidence just works really well in tandem, I think, and they end AF on somewhat equal footing.
AF also gives us some of my favourite side characters so I really love it on those grounds alone tbh. Mostly talking about Paradox here, but also Albedo, and The Plumber's Kids (especially Alan I love him he's so baby <3), and Sandra. God, I love Ben's hippy dippy granola mom so much it fits him so well.
I could make a whole fucking post about Paradox to be honest, and this post is already insanely long so I'll be brief here. He made it a billion times easier for the writers to play with timeline bullshit without having to sneak retcons past the audience every time. He's also just insanely fun. Silly Time Man. I loves him!!
I also really love Julie and Omniverse did her so fucking dirty, but that's a whole thing and I'm sure I'll get into it when I get there in my rewatch so I'll save it.
Again, I don't know that I would say AF is my favourite series, but I will say AF DOES happen to have my favourite EPISODE of the entire continuity though. "Con of Rath" is the best Ben 10 episode and I will fight you on this one.
I'm about to pivot into Ultimate and seeing as I haven't gotten there in my rewatch I am going to have less to say about it (and Omniverse) since they aren't fresh in my mind and I don't want to be spouting half remembered nonsense or go dig through the wiki to fact check (and spoil myself on things I don't remember). I know this post is stupid long, bear with me a bit longer.)
Why is Ultimate Alien Good?
Every new series of Ben 10 does something to change the status quo in some way. In AF it was aging up the characters and relegating Max to side character status. Omniverse does much the same, giving Ben a new partner and pushing Gwen and Kevin aside. Ultimate changes things in a different way, though, and I'm NOT talking about Ultimate forms.
Ultimate's big shake up is actually the name of it's first episode: "Fame".
Now, in this house we love a secret identity, lemme get that out up top. For Ben, though? The fame works. He never really honestly HAD a secret identity the same way most superheroes do. He'd always just kinda done his thing, and had it work out. All of his villains knew who he was. (To the point that "Hit 'Em Where They Live" kinda makes no fucking sense? Zombozo is dumb as shit so like maybe he didn't? But Charmcaster DEFINITELY did, and Ben was famous OFF earth already? It's whatever, but like ',:| ya'know.)
The important thing about making him famous is that it gives him a new avenue for character growth. As in my dude needs to get his fucking act together good god. Like, it's Ben, when it comes down to it he buckles down and does the right thing, but fuck man. This is a character trait that will haunt the rest of the series. There are episodes of OMNI that focus on Ben needing to get his head on straight wrt being famous.
It circles back to my point from earlier, though. Ben was NOT popular before "Fame". His friends included: Kevin, Gwen, and Julie. That's it. He's on a soccer team (At least at the beginning of AF I feel like it never comes up later.), but he never talks about his teammates. That one bully whose name escapes me is on okay terms with him after "The Gauntlet", but I wouldn't call them friends. But after his identity is leaked suddenly everybody likes him. He's gone from absolute nobody to celebrity overnight. Of course he would love this.
This is also an extension of one of Ben's core character traits: He NEEDS to be a hero. Actually he needs to be THE hero, because that is his entire self identity. It comes across (both in universe and from a meta standpoint) as Ben being conceited and selfish, but underneath it is really just a sad little boy who is clinging desperately to the ONE thing he's ever been that people liked. The Hero.
If Ben isn't the hero then who is he? He clearly doesn't know as of the AF finale. He loses the Omnitrix and completely breaks down. Even though he's an expert tactician and a damn good leader, he doesn't even know who he is without the Omnitrix.
Azmuth of all people is the one to tell him to get his head out of his ass. I don't think any other character could have done it, though. Azmuth does not care about Ben's feelings, but he's also someone who (whether he likes it or not) sees ALL of Ben's worth. Max or Gwen would be too soft and Kevin's words wouldn't hold the same weight. Azmuth is someone Ben looks up to while also being someone who won't pull his punches. If he's telling Ben he can do something it has to be true, you know?
That aside, lets talk about the "Ultimate" in "Ultimate Alien".
The Ultimatrix is... weird. It's interesting, don't get me wrong, but it is so completely and clearly just a marketing gimmick. The Ultimatrix can be as cool as it wants, it is not making it out of this series alive. Also, everything I find interesting about the Ultimatrix gets dropped. The first episode has Ben be apprehensive about using the Ultimate forms, but then it's just never brought up ever again for some reason.
Also this shit:
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WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN????? WHY IS IT NEVER TALKED ABOUT? šŸ˜­
It all just feels so fucking meaningless knowing the Finished Omnitrix is going to replace it. Like, Albedo made this peice of shit. So even if I hadn't watched parts of Omniverse first I would have put together that Azmuth would inevitably replace it, right? But it doesn't really matter I guess. That's my personal gripe with Ultimate forms, though, so I wanted to get it out here. Ultimate's does give us "The Ultimate Sacrifice" which is an episode I remember enjoying though, so its not a complete wash.
The thing with Ultimate as a series it that it's really just Alien force... 2!! to the extent that fans refer to them as a collective. "Ultimate Alien Force" Like, my header up there ^^^ was "Why is Ultimate Alien Force Good?" when I first started writing the AF part, and I only changed it so I had a smooth transition to talk about "Fame". They are so intrinsically linked in my brain that I didn't even blink lumping them into one. It makes it hard to find fault in Ultimate when I love so much of the things introduced in AF that carry over, you know?
Now onto the one I was soooo close to saying was my favourite:
Why is Omniverse good?
Omniverse is very, very special to me. I did not watch UAF as a kid. It started airing just as I was hitting my "I'm too old for cartoons" phase, so I just.. never watched it. I wouldn't have ever really gotten into Ben 10 as much as I have if not for someone talking about how much they liked Omniverse on my timeline when it was airing. I watched a large chunk of Omni before doubling back to watch all of the OS (Which I had only seen bits of growing up.) and then UAF.
I fucking love Omniverse and a big reason is:
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Him šŸ‘† šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•
I would kill and die for Rook Blonko.
He is mine moste beloved boy. My babygirl. My right hand arm etc.
But beyond The Boy šŸ’– Omniverse has a lot going for it. It's another tonal shift for the series, this time back to the more innocent and silly tone of the OS. Like I said, I like the tone in UAF, but Omniverse is just so bright and charming it's hard not to enjoy it.
The art style is also very fun in Omni and matches that lighter tone really well. (There are some stylistic choices I'm not personally big on, but it's whatever.) Where UAF had scaled back a lot of designs to give off a pretty generically American Comic Book style, Omniverse lets characters look interesting again! I'm thinkng specifically about Animo and Charmcaster here (Charmcaster's UAF design is so boring. Omniverse puts her back in her cool robe/tunic thing from the OS.), but in general the characters in Omni just have more interesting designs than they did in UAF. Like, Paradox isn't just Guy in Labcoat in Omni lol
I also think the ten episode arc structure does Omniverse a lot of favours. It gets to have the fun silly episodic nature of the OS while also holding onto the structure AF gave the series.
Beyond that, based on my memory of the series (which I have not watched since it finished airing so it's not exactly perfect) I don't really have much more I can say about Omni. It's fun, and has good characters and plot lines. It's just a really good entry and was a solid ending to wrap up the whole four series continuity.
And so, finally, I can wrap up this fuck off long post.
Like I said up top, I can't definitively say which series is my favourite. They all have their own strengths and weaknesses, and are good in their own ways. If pressed, I would probably say "Um... Omniverse maybe?", but I love the OS and UAF so so much it's not a confident answer. (having not watched Omni in a hot minute also doesn't help lmao)
Thank you for reading my big dumb post. If you got all the way to the end, I love you. I mean, if you stopped reading it I also love you, but if you managed to get through all, uh, 2800ish words of this post without tapping out, you are on the top shelf. <3
I'd love to hear your thoughts, or answer more specific questions if you have them!
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firstmatedville Ā· 1 year ago
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20 questions for fic writers
tagged by my wife @dxppercxdxver (although I really don't consider myself a fic writer these days lmao)
1. how many works do you have on ao3?
5 (and 2 orphaned)
2. whatā€™s your total ao3 word count?
22,856
3. what fandoms do you write for?
considering I have at maximum 2 fics per fandom. you could say none! although my most popular fics were broadchurch and good omens
4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?
the first is an orphaned batman/joker fic (does anyone remember that era of this blog? I'm so sorry lmao)
she - broadchurch
i love to live so pleasantly (lazing on a sunny afternoon) - good omens
Blueberry - IT (2017) (an incredibly cringe fic I wrote as a teenager for the love of god please don't read this)
i just want to be held (by your cold hands) - broadchurch
5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?
occasionally! if there's something that like. needs a response I do try to give them but otherwise I am very bad at getting back to comments. I do read and appreciate them all though!
6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
it's the IT one tagged above lmao due to the like. 15/16 year old me projecting. I'm not very good at writing angst!
7. whatā€™s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
probably either of the broadchurch fics due to. trans joy and also gay domesticity
8. do you get hate on fics?
not actively? during my batman/b*tjokes years (bearing in mind I was about 14) I used to get occasional hate on tumblr due to trans/gay headcanons but that wasn't necessarily fic related. I also once had a pretty big b*tjokes writer comment on an old fic (like three or four years after I'd written it, when I was no longer In The Fandom) claiming I'd stolen their ideas and needed to either remove my work or credit them despite. only having read a few of their works very briefly. the work of mine in Question being a prompt fill. and me just following a lot of the trends of the fandom at the time? like sorry you don't actually have a trademark on hurt/comfort sick fics buddy it's a Fairly Popular Concept. anyway yeah that's about it.
9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?
nope <3 I've never tried and frankly I don't think I'd be very good at getting any ideas I have Across in a way that reads as sexy or hot enough to warrant actually writing it lmao
10. do you write crossovers? whatā€™s the craziest one youā€™ve written?
I don't think I've fully written or published any crossovers, however! every character I've ever liked has been thrown into a killjoys au in my brain at one point or another (including but not limited to: the scooby doo gang, the penumbra pod gang, the eos 10 gang, Cecil and Carlos wtnv, ect). myself and jon plotted a whole magnus archives/mst3k au that I Wish one of us had written, and another mst3k/the mechanisms au that started as a joke and become so insanely important to us it sincerely helped us get together as a couple. we also had an overall eos10/penumbra podcast crossover that I personally never wrote anything for but I think jon Started some unpublished fics that never got finished.
11. have you ever had a fic stolen?
not as far as I know!
12. have you ever had a fic translated?
again, i dont beliebe so, but people are more than welcome to do so as long as im credited ofc
13. have you ever co-written a fic before?
I class at least the first of my broadchurch fics as partially co-written with Jon bc he was a Huge Help in that fic getting written, and as you might be able to tell from above we've Plotted a lot of fic ideas together (another includes a very goofy villain-decay bill cipher gravity falls fic) but basically none of them ever actually get written
14. whatā€™s your all time favourite ship?
argh I can't choose one all time favourite. jonmartin themagnusarchives are insanely dear and important to me, jongerry / jonmartingerry are closely behind that. poly scooby doo gang. vince/howard from the mighty boosh. these are all just sentimental ships if I'm honest. also I became ridiculously attached to mine and Jon's crackship of jonny d'ville themechanisms / Mike mst3k
15. whatā€™s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
honestly I'm kind of past the point of hoping to get back into writing due to. complete lack of willpower. but I wish I'd gotten round to writing the third trans Hardy fic I had planned at one point </3
16. what are your writing strengths?
idk!! I think I'm good at capturing like. very specific moments of domesticity and comfort. and I think when I'm imagining A Scene I'm quite good at getting the vibes of that scene across. but other than that I'm really not sure
17. what are your writing weaknesses?
oh god uhh. actually writing. linking scenes together. Plot other than just vague "here's two characters hanging out and existing". the list goes on
18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I don't think I've actually attempted it myself? due to most characters I've written have been. incredibly British. I will say a pet peeve of mine in Reading a fic is when it is a fic in 99% English that'll have a large chunk of dialogue in another language, without a translation available somewhere for it. like a word or two is fine but if there's some actual plot in there and you're expecting me to Google translate it, that feels kind of the same as when subtitles simply say (speaking french) or whatever instead of Telling Us What They're Saying
19. first fandom you wrote for?
embarrassingly and horrifically. h*rry p*tter (I was 11)
20. favourite fic youā€™ve written?
it has to be she simply due to the Amount of trans love and support I got to hear about in the comments of that fic :,)
I'm not tagging anyone bc to be completely honest I don't remember which of my mutaks actively write <3
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sonianvmd Ā· 4 years ago
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thh characters with a crush on you
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warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major
oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much
a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc iā€™ve already made that clear)
also some characterā€™s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*
edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY
spoilers under the cut!!
ā˜… å½” ā˜… 惟 ā˜… å½” ā˜… 惟 ā˜…
makoto naegi
when he realizes he likes you, he doesnā€™t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous
nervous around you, that is
yā€™all saw how he was with sayaka
if he says anything that might sound intimate then heā€™ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didnā€™t mean anything by it
he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes
he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says
you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents
heā€™ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually
letā€™s hope his luck comes through šŸ˜
byakuya togami
now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it šŸ˜
he can't believe he fell for a common plebeianļæ¼ such as you
but it was hard not to
the way you preferred to get to the point
the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him
he's ruthless
anyways
you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources
he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself
and we all know how this mf feels about himself šŸ˜
heā€™ll be quick to defend you in class trials
he wonā€™t realize heā€™s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you
but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well
yeah they on his ass LMFAOO
kyoko kirigiri
kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she wonā€™t be very obvious
sheā€™ll probably just hang around you more
sheā€™ll also defend you in class trials, calmly
ā€œoh, it couldnā€™t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.ā€
hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like ā€œaye what was you doin in their dorm doeā€ but anyways
she finds you respectable
if you have anything to contribute, sheā€™ll let you take the floor
when she tells you, sheā€™s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO
sheā€™s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe sheā€™ll go about it like ā€œwell, [name], now weā€™ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?ā€ or somethin else along those lines idk
take her hand
pls
toko fukawa
yā€™all know her whole ā€œmaster togamiā€ shtick
yeah so šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜
no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish šŸ§šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø tendencies
sheā€™ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast
but she isnā€™t as straight forward as she is with byakuya
i actually think sheā€™d be mad shy and non confrontational
the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again
if you approach her first then sheā€™ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, sheā€™ll just nervously play with her braids
youā€™ll most likely put two and two together
unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then youā€™ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways
if you decide to approach her about it, youā€™ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc sheā€™s just bad at deflecting things lmao
sheā€™ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)
expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift
and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so sheā€™d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then sheā€™ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol
calls u a baka šŸ˜šŸ˜
aoi asahina
i know yā€™all all see how she is with sakura
yeah.
aoi is the kind of person whoā€™d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them
she values you and your friendship very much
bring her donuts
just trust me bring her donuts
she doesnā€™t really realize sheā€™s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time
and yeah i think sheā€™d be nervous to tell you bc thatā€™s just natural but ultimately sheā€™d be cool about it
uh oh looks like we goin for a swim
sakura ogami
similar to kyoko, sheā€™s very calm
despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl
she cares for you and your well-being very much
will indeed go on x games mode for you
the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken
kith her
naow
im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldnā€™t think of much for her šŸ˜”šŸ˜”
leon kuwata
flirtatious ass mf
and heā€™s lightskin
so this just cannot go well
yā€™all know that bit where itā€™s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder
yeah thatā€™s literally him LMFAOO
heā€™s very confident
he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know heā€™s rhockin wit it ā€¼ļø
but
you feel.. different than usual ??
those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win
but you
he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time
he didnā€™t just acknowledge your appearance
he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all
he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you
he doesn't tell you in a grand way
probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin
he's chillin
mondo owada
you know
for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader
or just for being in a biker gang period
mondoā€™s a huge softie lol
yeah he gets violent but heā€™s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends
so mfs need to be nice to you
or they gettin whooped
when he decides itā€™s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and heā€™s all confident thereā€™s no way youā€™d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes šŸ§šŸ¾ LMFAOOO
heā€™ll push through but itā€™s like heā€™ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go
ā€œso y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethinā€™?... dumbass.ā€
real smooth mondo i think you got em good job
please tease him LMFAOO itā€™d be so funny
heā€™d probably yell but you can tell heā€™s not mad so you just keep going with it
but once youā€™re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, donā€™t worry šŸ™šŸ¾
also mondo would call his s/o doll
that is all
chihiro fujisaki
my fav dude in a dress <3
chihiro would be quite shy, but thatā€™s just how he is tbh so no surprise there
heā€™s very kind so heā€™d check up on you often just to see how you are
he cares about you v much
the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar
and heā€™d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings
heā€™d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, heā€™s delighted to hear it doesnā€™t make any difference to you
he doesnā€™t know how he got so lucky with you
not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO
sweet lil boy
iā€™d feel like heā€™d talk about you to alter ego a lot
and when u meet the program for the first time, heā€™s like ā€œoh! you must be [name]! masterā€™s told me all about you :)ā€
sobbing i miss him
kiyotaka ishimaru
okay hereā€™s the thing
if taka were to like someone
i canā€™t tell whether heā€™d be more strict because he doesnā€™t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)
or if heā€™d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO
so imma write a lil bit for both
in the case that he was even stricter:
heā€™d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you donā€™t get into any in the first place
of course itā€™s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure youā€™re doing well
if he sees you do anything out of line, heā€™s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY
but in the case he let up:
heā€™d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students
if your feet were resting on top of a desk, heā€™d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself
if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj
either way heā€™s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands
sayaka maizono
she will tell you
idk why but i feel like sheā€™d be straight up lol
sheā€™d make sure sheā€™s sincere
she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isnā€™t playing a sick joke on you or anything
ok bc
while i do think sheā€™d tell you
iā€™d feel like sheā€™d be a little indirect just to see how you feel
like sheā€™d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile
and naturally, you're like :o
and of course you come to support her
and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out
for real this time
she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like ā€œoh yeah i love ur shows!!ā€ bc ur dumb and then sheā€™s like ā€œno i mean.. for another artistā€ and eventually it hits you that sheā€™s asking you out and ur like ā€œoH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OKā€ LMFAOO
ā€”ā€”ā€”
i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so šŸ˜ƒšŸ‘šŸ¾
fun fact i finished tokoā€™s section first and takaā€™s last šŸ˜šŸ˜
and iā€™d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*
bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever
ā€”ā€”ā€”
edit: hereā€™s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character šŸ˜
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1K notes Ā· View notes
tobiosmilktea Ā· 4 years ago
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hiii can i request tsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo where theyā€™re in a secret relationship and the reader feels like theyā€™re hiding her bc theyā€™re ashamed of her ? like a hurt too comfort type of thing? thank u bb šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ
- šŸ’
secret relationships w/ atsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo
a/n: i have so many angst requests,, yall must like getting hurt šŸ’€ also this wasnā€™t as angsty as i thought it was gonna be since im going through writers block yet again and i can not handle pain rn (also not proofread, so read with caution lmao)
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ā€” m. atsumu
it honestly surprised you at first, the way someone like miya atsumu returning your feelings the moment you told him you liked him near the start of the school year
there wasnā€™t that instant gratification though, knowing that one of inarizakiā€™s golden boys still felt out of your reach
despite being in a relationship with you, it wasnā€™t like anyone knew of it besides osamu and your closest friend
of course you didnā€™t really mind as youā€™ve always thought couples who were obnoxious with their relationships 24/7 and constantly making out in the hallways wasnā€™t your cup of tea either, so you get why atsumu wanted to keep it a secret
besides, with a guy so popular like him, you really just thought he was sparing you from the harassment (not that it would be bad if all the girls crushing on him new)
you get that he was just trying to protect you, and yet the more you thought of it, the more than it was simply just an assumption and you really didnā€™t know why your relationship was kept secret
it wasnā€™t like either of you would get backlash in any way, so what was the problem?
you werenā€™t exactly the type to be the most insecure either
sure, you were aware of the flaws you had, but it wasnā€™t something you were ashamed of as you learned to get used to it
yet itā€™s hard to fully love yourself when your boyfriend isnā€™t even comfortable with the fact that no one knows you two are even together
you hated jumping to conclusions, but you couldnā€™t help but to think the worst case scenarioā€”was he ashamed of being with you?
you honestly thought the idea was impossible
if he was seriously ashamed of the thought of being with you in public, why would he even waste all those months dating? were all those dates and nights sneaking out to see each other for nothing?
it was like this for weeks with the way your own thoughts sabotaged you as you stood next to him during lunch
in moments like this in school, surrounded by your classmates and acquaintances, you and atsumu were only friends who sat next to each other occasionally and shared conversations that only friends would have
only friends
god, you hated the way that atsumu wouldnā€™t even look at you the way that he would when you two are alone
was he that embarrassed to be with you?
you didnā€™t want six months of all your hard work and effort of making time to be with him for nothing,, you had to do something about it
everyday, you, atsumu, and osamu would walk to school together with osamu typically walking ahead of you and your boyfriend
most couples would hold hands as they walked together, but atsumu had made it explicitly clear as the closer they get to school the farther they had to be from each other to avoid suspicions
thinking of it now, it sounded wrong to begin with and you had no idea why you even agreed to do such a thing
the school was close, maybe a block away and instead of slowing down your pace to create a gap between you and atsumu, you stubbornly stayed next to him to which he flickered you a weird look
he shrugged it off but the moment you two passed the gates and into campus, you slipped your hand into his
without missing a single beat atsumu immediately pulled his hand away from you with a look on his face that held all the questions running through his head at that very moment
ā€œwhat are you doing?ā€ he asks, almost in a harsh whisper
a frown melted upon your expression at how quickly he pulled away, almost as if he was disgusted by you.Ā ā€œi um, didnā€™t know you hated the thought of people seeing us together so badly.ā€
you didnā€™t know where all your strength went as it disappeared the moment you needed it the most
yet as you were about to walk away, atsumu tugs at your wrist lightly and pulls you into his embraceā€”his warmth and comforting scent of chamomile fromĀ  saved you from the embarrassment that was tainting your cheeks red
ā€œno, no itā€™s not that,ā€ he mutters, lips tickling your forehead.Ā ā€œi just wanted to keep you to myself a bit longer.ā€
ā€” k. kenma
you honestly werenā€™t surprised at the fact that kenma wanted this relationship to be kept secret
he never seemed like the type to be in a relationship let alone get the attention of being in one in the first place, yet it irked you to the core
it was fine at first; acting like you two were just friends while at school or at volleyball practice and it wasnā€™t at all weird or out of the ordinary
maybe thatā€™s why you were okay with it in the first few months of your relationship with kenma as you were always near him the majority of the time
yet you constantly had to fight the urge to not be so touchy with him from wanting to hold his hand to leaning your head onto his shoulderā€”you often had to stop yourself especially in front of your friends and his teammates
you were good at keep secrets, but it was absolute hell not being able to even tell kuroo considering you always hung out with him too (it was a given obviously but you digress)
kuroo is a bit curious in his closest friendā€™s antics so his constant teases of how you and kenma would be such a cute couple annoyed you to your core
he laughs as if you and kenma being together would be absolutely impossible and wouldnā€™t happen in a million years, and yet here you two were, pretending to laugh at his jokes and agreeing and it would be, in fact, impossible
as mentioned before, youā€™re more annoyed at keeping your relationship secret rather than angry
your actions were more abrupt and cold rather than your usual warm self and kenma definitely noticed
despite his usual calm and collected expression that he has on a daily basis, it covered up his own emotions of blatant insecurity and worry that you were losing your feelings and losing them quick
the last thing kenma wanted was for everything that happened between the two of you to be wasted over his own fear of being judged for being with you
you were his first in everything and he certainly wasnā€™t going to let you become his first heartbreak either
he worried about this for a few days, overthinking while he played video games with kuroo, lev, and yaku that they noticed how quiet he was being over the call
it was then did he impulsively asked kuroo to go on a separate voice channel with him just so he could blurt out,Ā ā€œiā€™m dating (y/n).ā€
and to his surprise, all his best friend said was:Ā ā€œyeah, i know. (y/n) told me.ā€
ā€œwhat? why?ā€ kenma asked with confusion evident on his visage
ā€œshe had no one else to go to vent.ā€ kuroo answers, his amused laugh echoing through kenmaā€™s headphones.Ā ā€œdonā€™t worry, i wonā€™t tell anyone.ā€
ā€œthanks, but... i think (y/n)ā€™s angry at me and i donā€™t know what to do.ā€
ā€œshe told me that she was getting tired of keeping your relationship a secret. she asked me if you felt embarrassed or even ashamed of being with her.ā€ he explained.
confusion and a bit of worry washed over kenma as his words suddenly faltered, ā€œi could never be ashamed of being with her,ā€
ā€œthen i guess, you should tell her that.ā€
ā€œwhat should i do?ā€
his best friend lets on a smirk (not that kenma could even see it, anyway),Ā ā€œiā€™m so glad you asked.ā€
you werenā€™t exactly sure what you expecting to be honest
you knew there was something going on between kenma and kuroo as if they were planning something intricate, but you werenā€™t bothered to even ask
perhaps you were still in that petty mindset of giving kenma the cold shoulder after having to keep your relationship on hold all the time that stopped your curiosity
sure, it was a bit childish, but you were planning on talking about it with kenma the moment he came back into the classroom after going off somewhere with kuroo
which by the way, where the hell were they? lunch was ending soon and you needed to talk to you boyfriend asap
the timing was almost perfect the way the thought of him entered your mind was at the same time as his familiar blonde hair walked back into the classroom with a melon bun and a canned drink in his hand from the vending machineā€”your favorites
ā€œi noticed you didnā€™t eat lunch, so i bought you this.ā€ he says, placing them down onto your desk.
ā€œis this supposed to be your way of apologizing to me or something?ā€ you mused at him.
there was a faint smile on kenmaā€™s face when you did. this was your usual self, one that constantly smiled at him rather than deadpanned and cold.Ā ā€œno,ā€ he simple put it. taking in a breath of confidence before pressing his lips on the corner of yours. ā€œbut i was hoping that would.ā€
with wide eyes, your eyes scanned the room to see if anyone noticed, afraid at the fact that you broke the first rule. despite being a blushing mess from a minuscule peck on your cheek, there was an inkling of confusion still evident within you, ā€œwhy did you do that?ā€
ā€œkuroo told me everything.ā€
ā€œi knew that guy couldnā€™t keep a secret,ā€ you mutter as you tried to ignore that infamous feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach.Ā ā€œi donā€™t think people saw, so they wonā€™t think weā€™re togetherā€”ā€
ā€œwhat if i wanted people to know weā€™re together?ā€ ded asf
ā€” o. tooru
you honestly shouldā€™ve known oikawa was going to keep this relationship between the two of you a secret since the moment he confessed his feelings to you
what else could you have expected from aoba johsaiā€™s most popular boy wonder with an actual fanclub full of naive girls
perhaps youā€™ve become naive yourself considering you dealt with months of having your relationship constantly being swept under the rug, psyching yourself out that he was doing this for your sake
and you understood that
it was the reason why you even agreed to keep your relationship on the downlow considering how annoyingly notorious oikawaā€™s fangirls were, they wouldnā€™t have let you see the light of day if they were to find out
if you were in fact being honest, there was a period in time near the beginning of the relationship how cautious you were beingā€”barely talking to oikawa unless it had to do with school, avoiding his gazes during class, and even swallowing your pride by just watching his fangirls flirt with him and there was nothing you could do about it
you honestly had to give yourself a pat on the bat for dealing with six months of this treatment
you figured it wouldnā€™t be that bad, especially after schools where you and oikawa could finally have alone time to yourselves, but even those times alone with him there was a lingering feeling of tension and unease
the thought of someone from school even finding out of you two beingĀ  together even affected your relationship outside of school hours
you were tired of waiting outside the school gates for hours just for him to come out of volleyball practice and apologize that he couldnā€™t walk you home yet again
you figured that oikawa had grown far to used to seeing you waiting for him all the time that it was practically common sense that he was going to reject you again and again
you had to stop waiting for him at some point, but there was an inkling inside that for once, just for once, he would look at you with a smile so sweet that he would finally go with you
but not once has it happened
was he really that afraid of people finding out of his relationship with you that heā€™s willing to disregard all your hard work to even make this thing (whatever is was) to even happen?
if you were truly being honest with yourself, the only reason why this relationship is still up and active for this long is all because of you
youā€™re the one always asking him when heā€™s available during the weekends so you two could finally see each other, youā€™re the one always texting him first, youā€™re the one always being the most understanding of the situation
and yet itā€™s almost like oikawa isnā€™t even batting an eye at how difficult it has been for you
you absolutely hated jumping to conclusions and thinking of the worst case scenario and yet here you were, suddenly drowning at the possibility that the only reason why oikawa wanted a secret relationship was because he was ashamed to be with you
it was a thought that kept you up at night, tainting your optimistic thoughts of hope that this relationship would actually work out to decimate into thin air
the more is simmered in your head, the worse it becameā€”what if his feelings that he confessed to you was a lie?
you hated overthinking
but if you really thought about it, even before you and oikawa dated, neither of you two were close. just two acquaintances in the same class that occasionally shared answers with each other just by the convenience of sitting nearby
you even went as far as believing that him dating you was just a joke, that this whole goddamn relationship was just some mindless prank just because he was bored
six months of wasted time. you were over it
the next day at school, you didnā€™t even look at him, you didnā€™t smile or even acknowledge the way he said good morning to you (as a friend does)
you figured heā€™s probably too dense to even notice, but he did. the usual glow you had each morning when you said good morning back to him was gone
he already missed the way your gazes would meet and how he would constantly find himself lost in your irises, but now you couldnā€™t even look at him in the eye
the only person whoā€™s aware that you and oikawa were dating was iwaizumi. it was a given as who else would oikawa ramble on and on and on about how pretty you looked or how smart you are if it wasnā€™t his best friend?
if anything, iwa was the only guy oikawa could complain about how you were ignoring him
ā€œmaybe sheā€™s bored of you for once,ā€ iwaizumi cuts straight to the point. there was really no point in beating around the bush
offense was written all over oikawaā€™s face, utterly surprised,Ā ā€œhow could she?ā€
ā€œyou canā€™t keep your relationship with her a secret forever, you know.ā€ his best friend goes on to explain,Ā ā€œwith the way things are going with you two acting like youā€™re nothing but acquaintances, (y/n)ā€™s bound to lose her feelings.ā€
ā€œbut i donā€™t want her to lose feelings for me! and itā€™s not like i can suddenly tell all my fangirls that iā€™m dating someone, theyā€™ll freak!ā€ whines oikawa.
ā€œwhy do you care about your fangirlsā€™ feelings more than your own girlfriend? seems to me, it doesnā€™t even look like you care about (y/n) at all the way sheā€™s constantly waiting for you after practice only to be rejected.ā€
itā€™s obvious iwaizumi wasnā€™t here to sugarcoat
ā€œi just donā€™t want them to harass (y/n)...ā€ oikawa reasons, trying to ignore the way his heart drop at iwaā€™s words like a gripping poison
ā€œthen thatā€™s your job to tell those girls to back off.ā€ he suggests,Ā ā€œthey literally treat you like a god, surely theyā€™ll listen if you tell them to leave her alone.ā€
the following day, you came across oikawa waiting outside your door, dressed in his uniform with his gaze lingering about to occupying his attention
ā€œwhat are you doing here?ā€ you ask him as you close your front door behind you. heā€™s probably here to break up with you, you thought to yourself
you had to force yourself to ignore the way your heart dropped at your own self-destructive thoughts
taking a deep breath as you approached him, you readied yourself for harsh news to come your way
but it never did
instead, you were greeted by oikawaā€™s infamous smile that made everyone at school to fall in love with this guy (including you)
he takes your hand into his, intertwining his calloused fingers that dwarfed yours in size. you donā€™t remember the last time you held oikawaā€™s hand, but it felt so familiar and warm
it was like home
you couldnā€™t help but feeling the ends of your lips tugging into a smile as you looked up at him,Ā ā€œwhat if someone at school sees us?ā€
you were expecting some kind of excuse, but all he did was shrug.Ā ā€œwho cares?ā€
ā€” k. tetsurou
when you and kuroo started going out, you certainly wasnā€™t expecting it to be like this
if anything, ā€˜going outā€™ would be a stretch if you count late night dates and sneaking out at midnight just to see each other as dating
it certainly wasnā€™t your usual definition of dating either as you yearned greatly to be able to do normal couple things with your boyfriendā€”like actually going out on dates during the day, eating lunch together, hell, even just holding hands!
it almost seemed laughable how normal things done in relationships were something you never even experienced with kuroo even after a few months of being together all due to him wanting to keep the relationship a secret
and if you were truly being honest with yourself, you never really understood why he wanted to keep it on the downlow in the first place
you never really questioned it as you just that much of an understanding person, but at a certain point it just wasnā€™t adding up
it wasnā€™t like he had girls going after him 24/7 despite being at the top of his class, popular, and nekomaā€™s volleyball captain
it wasnā€™t like oikawa who had an actual problem with hoards of girls surrounding him and tracking his ever move, so what was the big deal of letting your relationship public?
it was then did it hit you
the suddenly downpour of insecurity within your own loving boyfriend that you trust so much was getting the best of you
ā€œwhat if heā€™s embarrassed to even be with me?ā€ you contemplated in a harsh whisper to your best friend
it was in the middle of lunch and you two were sitting alone on a bench in the schoolā€™s courtyard chatting while eatingā€”well, more like overthinking in your case while you friend just sat there and nodded
ā€œif he actually felt that way, then he wouldā€™ve broken up with you already.ā€ your friend stated in between bites,Ā ā€œbesides, if i didnā€™t have feelings for someone, i wouldnā€™t put in the effort to sneak out just to see them.ā€
you hummed, not sure what to say as she did have a point
but could you really blame yourself for wanting an actual relationship rather than one thatā€™s forced to go unnoticed?
ā€œi should talk to kuroo about it...ā€ you sigh out.
ā€œtalk to me about what?ā€ an oh-so-familiar voice calls out to you and your friend
kurooā€™s figure approaches the two of you as he give you a curt smile with hidden meanings that you werenā€™t able to even notice. you were too caught up in your own meddling thoughts that you also didnā€™t notice the way kuroo frowned slightly at the way you avoided eye contact with him
ā€œnothing,ā€ was all you said before standing up and throwing your trash away.Ā ā€œlunch is almost over so we should all get to class.ā€ was all you said before briskly walking away
kurooā€™s brows furrow in confusion as he looks over to your friend,Ā ā€œwhatā€™s up with (y/n)?ā€
ā€œshe thinks youā€™re too embarrassed to be with her, thatā€™s why you hide your relationship.ā€ she cuts straight to the point (homegirl just wants to eat her lunch in peace ffs)
ā€œwhat?ā€ your boyfriend huffs out in shock, almost offended at the fact that you out of all people would believe such a thing.Ā ā€œwhy does she think that?ā€
your friends shrugs,Ā ā€œnot sure. thatā€™s something you should be asking her, but if it were me, i would want a normal relationship as well.ā€
kuroo doesnā€™t say another word before walking away. and yet his walk quickened so he could catch up to you before you could get to class, footsteps echoing through the hallway in patters as he sees your familiar figure near your classroomĀ 
ā€œ(y/n)!ā€ he calls out to you as you slide the classroomā€™s door open. it was sure to catch the attention of the rest of the students already in the classroom as you turn towards him, brows furrowed in the same confusion
as he neared you, there was almost no sign in him stopping, sending your heart beating in a frenzy as you parted your lips to tell him to slow down
but before a single syllable could even fall from your lips, your boyfriendā€™s own pair press against yours harshly. it was sweet like caramel and you swore everything moved in a slow motion when you suddenly realized where you two were
he stole your breath away when he pulled apart from you, eyes immediately scanning the room of his own classmates staring at him in awe
ā€œsince when were you two dating?ā€ matsukawa asked rather loudly, it seemed that others were interested in knowing as well.
panic suddenly coursed through you as you gave kuroo a look, gravely ignoring the way yoru heart was thumping against your chest and the dozens of unanswered questions running through your head
ā€œw-weā€™re not actually datiā€”ā€
ā€œweā€™ve been together for a few months actually.ā€ kuroo cuts you off, sending you a wink before entering the classroom
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torterragarden Ā· 2 years ago
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001 pokemon specifically x and y bc im making you take pity on Kalos
Fine šŸ™„
Favorite character: Shauna because of the rivals she has the most discernible personality, she's pretty funny and likable. Diantha is very cool and very hot but really doesn't do enough or live up to her potential so. yeah idk I think Shauna
Least Favorite character: Lysandre makes my head hurt trying to understand what the fuck he's about. He makes me like Chairman Rose more by comparison and that says a lot
5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): uuh Shauna/Serena is boutiqueshipping I think, right? Anyway, that's one. perfectworldshipping is pretty funny so that's another one. idk if phaesporiashipping counts cause Cynthia isn't actually in XY but if it counts then that. I don't know of any other Kalos ships sorry
Character I find most attractive: Diantha, I really love her design. The old movie star vibe she's got really does it for me. Plus she's Champion so like #girlboss even tho she's one of the easiest Champions to beat
Character I would marry: Diantha. See above
Character I would be best friends with: uuh... Diantha? I guess?
a random thought: I really don't dislike XY as much as I make it sound like lmao I don't dislike it at all really, it's just that there's nothing about it that makes me want to play it over any other Pokemon game. Like I just don't Care about it is all
An unpopular opinion: Here's a big one, I never liked megas. A mechanic that only benefits like 30 out of hundreds of Pokemon, most of them being Pokemon that were already strong and popular anyway, was never that interesting to me for a casual playthrough, and only like 5 megas were even viable in competitive so it wasn't any more interesting there. And none of the Pokemon who got megas were gen 6 Pokemon despite the mechanic being introduced in gen 6? not even the starters? Oh no but lets give megas to the Kanto starters, hell lets give our special little guy Charizard two. come on. At least the Galar starters got gigantamaxes eventually and there were still plenty of gen 8 Pokemon that had them from the start. Also literally the only one that looks good is Mega Sableye, and that's just because it's regular Sableye but with ruby eyes and a big gem to hide behind. Every other mega is at best Fine and at worst ugly as shit, because the design philosophy for megas seemed to be "it's [Pokemon] but cooler, and cooler means busier". Have you seen mega Garchomp? Have you seen what they did to my boy? Disgusting. I never want to see it again.
My Canon OTP: "otp" is too strong a word for it but boutiqueshipping. That fireworks scene was so romantic coded this IS canon idc
My Non-canon OTP: phaesporiashipping. I just think Diantha and Cynthia should kiss
Most Badass Character: Diantha, at least in theory
Most Epic Villain: no. I am not giving Lysandre and credit lmao
Pairing I am not a fan of: I really don't know enough of the Kalos pairings to know which ones I don't like specifically, if it's obviously gross and bad for the obvious reasons etc etc then yeah throw it all out but like I don't Know
Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): LYSANDRE. Also Diantha. How did they set her up to have an opposite philosophy to Lysandre in her first scene and then just never have her play a part in anything involving him later
Favourite Friendship: Shauna and Serena I guess, or Shauna and whatever the male player character was if you prefer. Calem? yeah
Character I most identify with: Sycamore because I am also a dumb idiot villain apologist
Character I wish I could be: I would sooner die than be French
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denkamis Ā· 4 years ago
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hi!! could i get double chocolate and cherry with kaminari, shinsou and midoriya please?ā¤ļø
idk if i did this right so im sorry if i didnt!
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to anon: hey anon, no worries! you did it perfectly :)) aww i love the characters you chose for this prompt, this is adorable. enjoy some fluffy times with these sleep deprived boys from a very sleep deprived writer <3
warnings: none! just some swearing and some bad sleeping habits lmao. reader is gn!
prompt: denki kaminari, hitoshi shinsou, izuku midoriya scenarios + ā€œitā€™s okay, i couldnā€™t sleep anyways.ā€
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denki kaminari
denki stays up late playing osu and minecraft
what can i say, heā€™s just a gamer man
so heā€™s honestly pretty reliable when it comes to you knocking on his door at late hours of the night
always the biggest cuddle bug, really happy that you go to him first out of everyone
literally drops everything for you hehe
lots of sleepy kisses too
ā€œfuck! goddammit,ā€ denki grumbled, shaking out his wrist as he had just failed the six star version of the intro of blend-s on osu. he had gotten rather addicted to the circle clicking game. this further resulted in denki staying up late on school nights, despite kirishimaā€™s warnings of him potentially falling asleep in class the next day. it was fine, he could always borrow notes from you or jirou anyways!
as he went to restart the map again, a soft knock came at the door to his dorm room. spinning off his computer room chair, he prepared himself to be lectured by aizawa for the fifth time this week about breaking curfew. ā€œaizawa-sensei, i know that iā€™ve been loud lately but i swear this time it wonā€™t happen- y/n?ā€ he stopped mid-sentence as he saw you standing on the other side of the door. ā€œwhat are you doing up so late?ā€
you shook your head, immediately hugging his torso instead. you were clearly a bit distraught about something, but denki wasnā€™t a mind reader. he figured that from the way you were clinging onto him, it must have been a bad dream of some kind. ā€œhey, hey, easy there! nearly knocked me over, huh,ā€ denki laughed lightly, pressing a soft kiss to the side of your head before closing the door behind you. you clung onto him, face buried in the crook of his neck. it made a small blush dust across his cheeks, a warm feeling spreading through his arms as he held you close. ā€œi hope iā€™m not bothering you,ā€ you mumbled, to which denki hummed. ā€œyou never bother me, babe. itā€™s okay, i couldnā€™t really sleep anyways.ā€
the two of you stayed like that for a long while, denki swaying the two of you back and forth. you could feel gentle lips peppering the crown of your head with kisses. as your heart rate slowed, denki piped up. ā€œwanna stay here for the night? my bedā€™s missing out on some action! and by some action, i mean sleep. i really canā€™t sleep.ā€
you snorted at his words, your eyes flicking up to his goofy yet endearing smile, his eyes bright yet a bit tired from late night gaming. he poked his tongue out at you, making you roll your eyes with a tiny smile of your own gracing your features.
ā€œhow could i say no to that?ā€
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hitoshi shinsou
we already know heā€™s up at these unholy hours
not for any particular reason, just because he canā€™t really sleep
quite the insomniac that one
and the fact that he canā€™t sleep properly or well unless youā€™re with him
you smell like lavender in the morning too bc he puts it in his pillow to help him sleep, thank you
shinsou lay awake in bed, eyes trained on the ceiling as he waited for himself to fall asleep. it was no secret that he barely got any rest, so it was simply easier to just sit and wait until his body exhausted itself to the point where he simply fell asleep. staying as still as he could, he kept counting the amount of times he breathed in and out. it made him acutely aware of his surroundings. the crickets outside his room, the way the moonlight streamed through his blinds, the miscellaneous creaking sounds of the dorms. yeah, he definitely wasnā€™t sleeping tonight.
he didnā€™t flinch as the door to his room opened, blinking slowly as his eyes adjusted to the light spilling into his room along with a new figure. ā€œy/n?ā€ he asked, not bothering to sit up. ā€œhey, are you up? sorry toshi, i couldnā€™t sleep,ā€ you explained softly, allowing the door to close behind you as you tiptoed across his dorm room. his hair was sprawled across his pillow, deep violet locks hiding his hands situated behind his head comfortably. it showed off his arms that were built from training for when, not if, he ever got into the hero course.
a lazy smile crossed his lips at your words, his heartstrings being played by you so seamlessly. ā€œitā€™s okay, i couldnā€™t sleep anyways,ā€ he replied with a tilt of his head towards you. he moved over a bit in his bed as to give you space to lay down next to him. you crawled beneath his comforters, inhaling the scent of lavender as you did. apparently shinsou had said that the smell helped him fall asleep easier. strong arms wrapped around your waist, encasing you in a protective embrace as your head rested comfortably against his chest. the comforter was thrown over the two of you. you felt so much safer already.
his large hands were placed on your lower back, his thumbs drawing lazy circles on your skin as his breathing began to relax noticeably. hiding your smile, you cuddled closer to him. to this day, you had never seen shinsou fall asleep so quickly since that night.
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izuku midoriya
baby is up studying for a test thatā€™s in like 2 weeks
either that or heā€™s on an all might video spree on youtube and no that is not the first time this has happened, it is certainly not the last
he has so many stuffed animals in his room probably, like he just has them stuffed in his closet
the all might plushies stay on the bed tho
his cuddles are unmatched tho, change my mind
izuku was pacing around his room, vocabulary words spinning about his mind as he counted them on his fingers. he was mumbling definitions to himself, going over all of them in his head before referencing his notebook to make sure nothing went wrong. amidst his ramblings, a knock at the door made him jump to attention. ā€œcome in?ā€ he called out, watching intently as he saw you come into view. his face showed relief, grateful to know it wasnā€™t aizawa or kacchan complaining about his incessant pacing.
ā€œwould it be alright if i sleep here tonight? iā€™m worrying about my grades and stuff again,ā€ you rubbed the back of your neck with a small smile, trying to play off your question as relaxed as you could. it wasnā€™t exactly a secret that you had a crush on the boy in front of you. he was kind and humble, wanting to help as many people as he could despite all the circumstances that had the world against him. it was admirable. even now, he looked so concerned from the clear lack of sleep youā€™ve been getting these past few days. ā€œof course you can sleep here. ah, wait! i have to, ah,ā€ he stumbled over his words as you looked to the bed to see not one, not even two, but four all might stuffed toys on his bed.
ā€œoh.ā€
midoriyaā€™s face erupted with crimson, shoving the plushies into his closet as he sputtered out various excuses as to why they were there in the first place. when he turned back to you, you were giggling. not at him, but because of the entire situation in general. ā€œyouā€™re adorable, izu,ā€ you told him gently. a light feeling bloomed in his chest upon seeing the smile you held for him. you looked so undeniably beautiful to him, the way your hair was a bit messy and how you stood in your pyjamas. while others, including yourself, would find that you looked completely normal, midoriya loved seeing you be so casual, so comfortable around him.
ā€œyouā€™re sure iā€™m not interrupting you, though?ā€
midoriya returned your smile with his own, stepping forward to intertwined his scarred fingers with your delicate ones. ā€œitā€™s okay,ā€ he murmured softly, holding your hand as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him, ā€œi couldnā€™t really sleep anyways.ā€
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all works Ā© denkamis 2021.
tags:
@meilbox @honeykami @httpfirx @strawberrysalwa @hey-i-really-miss-you @smexy-goose @satis-kei
want to be on the taglist? see this post!
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sailorhyunjinz Ā· 4 years ago
Note
What do you think first kiss with skz be like?
aAWH SOME FLUFF T-T OK BUT KEEP IN MIND- fluff is not my strongest pursuit hence why im not a fluff writer hahsah but HEY ITS CUTE!! and anon,,, im so sorry this took such time IM SO SO SORRY AAAAAAAAH-Ā 
also this makes me wanna know my anons first kiss story, AAAH SPILL THEMĀ 
warnings; none?? fluff,,, wow,, rare to say that LMAO- also gn!reader and also suggestiveee??
Bangchan
~gentleman~
will only kiss you if you are REALLY ready for it and if the two of you are dating
doesnt want to rush you into things (even if its just a kiss) because he doesnt know how comfortable you are and such
basically a sweetheart
i imagine its like a cute little date
Ā night where you guys are stargazing, lying on a blanket on a grassy hill with his arm as a pillow for your head
ā€œchan, look! its a shooting star! make a wishā€ you giggle to which he smiles, looking at your pretty features that are lit up by the moonlight
ā€œhmm,,, dear star, i wish that y/n would kiss meā€ he says, laughing directly after but soon being interupted as you attach your plushy lips against his
its probably the most romantic event in your life
him smiling into the kiss as your tongues danced around softly
when you pulled away you laughed, saying;Ā ā€œwishes do really come true, huh?ā€
poor baby is blushing, his ears red but thankfully for him its too dark for you to see
Minho
theĀ ā€œevil roommate that secretly has feelings for youā€
ā€œlee minho i swear im gonna rip your hair off if you touch my plants againā€
minho got out of his room, looking at you standing in the living room and rearranging the plants on the windowsillĀ 
ā€œthey are all scattered, itā€™s uglyā€ he says rudely
ā€œdont call my children uglyā€ you spit back at himĀ 
there was always a weird tension between you and minho. you were glad to have found a roommate that made a good friend eventhough he was a pain in the ass sometimes
minho liked you,,, and therefore he did everything the opposite of what he felt. if he wanted to compliment you on your outfit he would instead say that you lookedĀ ā€œoverdressedā€ orĀ ā€œtoo muchā€ but you always rolled your eyes towards his snarky comments
you pecked your plants, giving them the love they needed and minho just stood frozen in the doorway, without thinking he spoke
ā€œhow come you never do that to me?ā€
silence
you sneered, placing down the plant you held and streched out your arms
ā€œcā€™mere if you dareā€ you said jokingly, not expecting the boy you always thought was so devilish to run into your arms, lips touching and your eyes widening at the unexpected action
the two of you held each other, breathing shaky as wet tongues collided, the sun beaming upon your figures
ā€œm-minho,,, it was a joke!ā€ you laughed, slapping his arm playfully as you pulled away
ā€œbut to me it wasnā€™tā€ he remarked cockily, licking the inside of his cheek
Changbin
very much giving me likeĀ ā€œwe dont like each other but we have to work with each otherā€
like you two are co-workers, working in a boring office and you were assigned to put together this one report and,,, lets say Changbin wasnt your favorite in the office
there was nothing wrong with him,,, its just his vibe that was off putting but sigh,,, work is work
you started compiling information, sitting in a seperate room and drawing graphs on the whiteboard, projecting some other type of research onto the board
ā€œdo you think we will need to stay late?ā€ he asks, ruffling his hair in frustration
you sigh and nod, this wasnt going to get done anytime soon.
dawn set on horizon and the others workers packed up their belonging one by one and left until there was only you and changbin left in the now quiet office
you sat next to him, yawning as you typed something as you felt him looking at you
you looked back with a questionable expression, confused when he uttered his words
ā€œdo you hate me, y/n?ā€
ā€œi mean,,, you are a dick sometimes but i dont hate you, at least you do your workā€
he shrugged his shoulders, loosening his necktie as he leaned back into the office chair
ā€œa dick, huh? maybe i try to push you away so you wont catch the same feelings i have for youā€
you snapped your head towards him. you couldnt lie, he was attractive and at this point you were desperateĀ 
ā€œkiss me thenā€ you said simply causing the boy toĀ immediately cup your cheeks, latching onto your lips as if heā€™d waited for this moment for forever
more tongue, wants you to feel him ;))
lets just say,,, he made it up to you
Hyunjin
i get this like,,, youthful vibe,,, like the two of you were childhood friends
and,,, eventually you catch feelings for him which you hate because,,, you dont want to ruin this friendshipĀ 
every time somebody mistook you for a couple the both of you would make retching noises, mocking each other
ā€œyou think my standards are that low?ā€ hyunjin says pointing at you to which you raise your fist
ā€œhwang hyunjin, youā€™re dead meatā€
but,,, he was only in denial, it was his childhood friend afterall
probably happened at one of those night where your mom was working late and you invited hyunjin to keep you company, him bringing kkami as well.Ā 
ā€œdont fucking burn the pizza, hyunjinā€ you say, petting kkami until the little rascal ran away from your lap
ā€œif you helped it wouldnt be burnedā€ he replies as he comes out with two plates with the pizza burned on the edges
ā€œbut if they taste bad you can always taste my lipsā€ he jokes and you look at him with a disgusted facial expression before laughing
ā€œi bet they taste even worse then your mess of a pizza, i would like to see you try to even get me to peck youā€ you scoff and hyunjin rolls his eyes, sitting next to you on the sofa
ā€œtry it thenā€ he taunts but is taken aback when you actually kiss him, your nose accidentally brushing against his as you purse your lips, hyunjin timidly using his tongue to test the waters
he wanted it so bad and he finally got it >:(( he could swear that he heard fireworks going off in his brain
a moment of silence appeared until hyunjin cockily uttered:
ā€œso,,, did they taste better?ā€
Jisung
theĀ ā€œi met you at a party and made out with you drunkā€
he stared at you the entire night, catching glances while you looked away and the music blared in the nightclub that was packed with people.
you ordered a drink at the bar, tapping your fingers on the oak surface where you rested your arms, suddenly somebody bumped into you
turning around you saw jisung and you sighed, thinking his behaviour was starting to get annoying
ā€œoh its you againā€ you said loud for him to hear as he sat down next to you, having a annoying smirk plastered on his lips
ā€œlooks like you are having fun, let me guess,,, youā€™re trying to get over your exā€ jisung says, leaning his elbow against the bar and you glared at him because it was true
you scoffed, avoiding his question and instead sipping on the sour drink you had in your hands, trying to forget everything
he was attractive which only pissed you off even more, as if you hadnt had enoughĀ pretentious assholes in your life
the glass slammed against the table as you put it down harshly, gazing into the boys dark brown eyes
ā€œalright, deal. make me forget then since you think you know everything about meā€ you stated to which jisung raised his eyebrow
the palm of his hand was firmly placed on the bar as he leaned in to kiss you, feeling the bitter liquour hitting his tastebuds as your tongues crashed against each other
it felt,,, freeing. you swung your arms around his neck, wanting him closer to your body
by the way he was kissing you, you could tell that he was there for the same reason as you. a sloppy and heated kiss to fill your thoughts with something other than your ex
safe to say that the kiss progressed ;))))
Felix
aaah cutie boyfriend that is just too shy to even give you a kiss like 3 months into the relationship (OK DONT ATTACK ME NOW, TAKE YOUR TIME, NO RUSH YOU GUYS)
he is shy with pretty much everything, it was only recently he could hold your hand without his heart jumping out of his chest.
it was a simple date night! takeout and games at his place
you layed your head in his lap as you watched him finish up the game that you had given up on a long time ago
he shifted awkwardly in his seat, not used to being so close to such a pretty person before
ā€œah- fuck! i lost again,,,ā€ he says in defeat, his head rolling backwards before a frustrated sigh escaped his lips
ā€œyou did well felix! look how far you got!ā€ you say, pointing towards the score on the screen but not getting his attention.Ā 
you sat up, looking at him for a moment as his eyelashes lightly draped over his closed eyes, cheeks speckled with freckles
you couldnt help yourself, he looked so angelic despite being defeated and so you leaned in, lacing your fingers with his and softly placing your lips against his
he opened his eyes in panic before being swallowed by the fluffy feeling of having your lips to himself, he giggled before stroking your cheek as he tilted his head, almost setting aĀ rhythm to the sweet kiss
felix started laughing shyly, cheeks tinged with red as he hid his face with a pillow
ā€œbut you won my kiss!ā€ you said through a smile causing felix to blush even more
Seungmin
its like,,, maybe,,, your third or fourth date??
this one is more chill than the previous ones that were at like some fancy restaurang because hello dandy puppy boy wants class
but this one was like a stroll down the night streets and eating ice cream in the middle of the summer
both of you were casually dressed, holding hands as butterflies bubbled in your stomach from the contact
his hand is all warm and it engulfs yours >:(
you look at all the pretty sights of the night, eventually climbing up to some like high point and looking down at all the lights that blinked
after a good 1 1/2 hours of walking your legs were starting to ache and so you both sat down on the swings of a desolate playground, swinging gently with your legs dangling
ā€œi dont understand how youā€™re able to,,, even be friends with me,,, or whatever we are,,ā€
seungmin hummed, looking up into the night sky
ā€œi promise y/n, i will be your,,, friend but,,,ā€
you looked at him as he saidĀ ā€œbutā€, imagining the worstĀ 
ā€œi dont wanna be friends, i wanna be more than a friend to youā€
his eyes twinkled as he stood up and stood infront of you, grabbing your hand
you slowly looked up at him, his figure standing in the way of the moon as the two of you shared a long gaze, his eyes as sweet as honey, dripping with pure adoration
you pulled him closer by the hand and slowly he inched to your lips, the distance between you minimizing as his face tilted to the right, a delicate and sugary kiss landing on your tastebuds from the ice cream from earlier.
your heart skipped a beat, the slightest sound of lips smacking
ā€œi think i love you y/nā€ he whispered close to your lips after pulling away.Ā 
Jeongin
like,,, uni buddies!Ā 
both being med students meant late study night, usually in schoolĀ 
thereā€™s papers and diagrams laid out all over the tables and floors along with a bunch of energy drink cans, some scribbles on the whiteboardĀ 
the two of you were friends and met in uni and everyone had always nagged at you for not going after him since he was everything someone ever wanted
you always said that you were friends and that you couldnt imagine being in a relationship with jeongin
but studying with him alone into the deep night felt different, many times you couldnt concentrate when he looked so cute sitting right beside you
being close friends, there was nothing weird about hugging or leaning against each other and so you leaned against his shoulder and yawned as the cozy boy was rewriting some notes.Ā 
ā€œone hour left y/n and then- then we can go hoooome!ā€
you giggled as you looked at him and he diverted his attention from his papers to you, his lips only mere inches from yours
you didnt know what the fuck you were doing and neither did jeongin, it was late and the both of you were tired from studying for finals
and so your lips drew closer until they clashed, feeling a tension that youā€™ve never felt with him before
heā€™sĀ definitely a shy,,, kisser?? not too much tongue since he doesnt know how LMAO so its like soft >:((
didnt know what to do when he pulled away, looking around the room or covering his blushing face with his hands but when you hug him he hugs you back
maybe even coming to terms that he does have feeling for you,,, and so do you~Ā 
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morwensteelsheen Ā· 3 years ago
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one thing i struggle to write with faramir that is i think very important to his character but is largely expressed in the books only through environmental/narrative chronology is his capacity forā€¦.. affable intimidation, i might call it? heā€™s objectively a good guy, unequivocally a batter for the home team, etc., etc., and he radiates that goodness, but heā€™s also an unbelievably intimidating figure too.
his introduction in TTT gets this across remarkably well in two ways. the first is his actual introduction, which is literally walking out of stealthmode in the woods, double the height of our POVā€™s eye line, armed to the teeth and speaking a spooky language. plus, ā€˜weā€™reā€™ very close to mordor, everythingā€™s a bit heart of darkness-y, and the men (bar aragorn, i guess) weā€™ve dealt with so far are fallible and corruptible almost to the point of uselessness. logically it makes sense that we as the readers and frodo + sam as the POV would be deeply untrusting of him. he could very well be a colonel kurtz type figure. (also lmao catch me scribbling down notes for that AU)
the second way it comes across is through his actual speech. youā€™ll have to forgive me because im lying in a dark room while my brain devours itself and my copy of TTT is in the other room, so i donā€™t have pull quotes, but as far as i remember, faramirā€™s doing a one man good cop, bad cop routine with himself and making his niceness very contingent on what information frodo and sam are willing to offer up. itā€™s all justifiable, and iirc he goes out of his way to point out that if heā€™s being a dick itā€™s because theyā€™re in a war and actually heā€™s not being half as much of a dick as he really could be, thank you very much, but heā€™s pretty explicit about frodo (and sam) needing to earn his benevolence.
and despite having this extended, transactional interaction that would (if it had been penned nowadays) have seen him labelled ā€˜morally greyā€™, at the end of his scene pretty much everybody involved is fawning about how lovely and great and good he is. thereā€™s never any sense that the characters think they shouldnā€™t trust him (frodo actually has a thought about wanting to spill his heart out to faramir iirc, i think thatā€™s where the ā€˜grave young manā€™ description first shows up).
that aura is reiterated every time he shows up. pippin first laying eyes on him and being like, ā€˜heā€™s terrifying and i love himā€™, Ć©owyn being like ā€˜he could absolutely kick the shit out of everybody i knowā€™, maybe others, again, please excuse my migraine fog. heā€™s intimidating, almost as intimidating as aragorn ā€” though, as we learn through Ć©owynā€™s eyes, not quite as distant and impenetrable as aragorn ā€” but heā€™s just so good you canā€™t help but adore him. (itā€™s almost, and forgive my lotr AU loving brain for this, as if everybody he encounters is counting their blessings heā€™s on their side and not the other guyā€™s.)
itā€™s very hard to translate all that to informal interpersonal interactions, im finding. we know jrrt builds up familiarity in the book by essentially vernacular switching ā€” moving from loftier prose to more common speech to hint at intimacy or ensure the reader feels a level of kinship with certain characters ā€” but faramir so far as i can remember never actually gets that moment of informality. at best i can think of maybe the moment when heā€™s telling sam to shut the fuck up? but outside of that, tolkien actually goes through great pains to only portray faramir in the highest, loftiest language. i mean look at the steward and the king, which is easily the most emotionally intimate moment for either faramir or Ć©owyn (and i would argue easily top three of the whole series), and yet is conducted entirely in that soaring, chivalric prose. faramir doesnā€™t use contractions (or if he does, they donā€™t scan as contractions because all the other shit heā€™s saying is so purpley), he doesnā€™t use monosyllabic words god help him, and rhetorically he fits far more in the template of the silmarillion than the hobbit, if you get what i mean.
and thatā€™s, uh, really hard to write lol. it just is, there are so few writers ive seen out there who really nail it, because it requires a really precise grasp of the english language that i assume youā€™re only allowed to get if you literally do a seance and bully jrrt into giving you it lmao. yeah thereā€™s not really a big thesis to this post im just having a moan about how much i love this character and how much of a ball buster he is to write
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hatsukeii Ā· 4 years ago
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One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but heā€™s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks sheā€™s annoying and then finally years later she decides heā€™s not a nice guy and letā€™s him know sheā€™s fine with all that crap and then he realizes heā€™s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ„ŗšŸ‘‰šŸ»šŸ‘ˆšŸ» ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore
I genuinely hope you didnā€™t think I would actually ignore this<33
IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME
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Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader
Word Count: 1.4k+
Warnings: Cursing
Genre: Angst??? I guess???
Summary: Heā€™s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and itā€™s killing you.
July 16, 2008
Dear Diary,
I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and thereā€™s a big hole in his teeth, but itā€™s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time Iā€™ll wear gloves!
You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You canā€™t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You donā€™t have a single clue.
April 30, 2011
Dear Diary,
Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( Iā€™ve known him for so long though, arenā€™t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33
Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.
May 29, 2016
Dear Diary,
Love how Tsukki didnā€™t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? Iā€™m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)
Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white.Ā ā€œSo thatā€™s when I gave up on this diary...ā€ you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper.Ā ā€œWhat to do, what to do...?ā€ You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.
July 17, 2020
Dear Diary,
Itā€™s been a while hasnā€™t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki werenā€™t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that Iā€™ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know heā€™s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that wonā€™t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. Iā€™m still waiting for some form of response, although Iā€™m not sure Iā€™m gonna get one anytime soon. I canā€™t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision Iā€™ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh heā€™s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think Iā€™m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, Iā€™ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but itā€™s not that. Itā€™s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. Itā€™s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.
Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. ā€œIā€™ll just deal with it all tomorrow, Iā€™m tired of this shit.ā€
On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.
The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasnā€™t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.
ā€œThe thing is I like you. Iā€™m pretty sure I always have. And I know that youā€™re such an asshole and all that, you wonā€™t treat me as well as people would expect, but itā€™s fine. Iā€™m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults youā€™ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, Iā€™m fine with it. I know youā€™re a good person, and thatā€™s all that matters to me.ā€
ā€œWell shit what the fuck do you want me to say?ā€
Maybe he shouldnā€™t have said that.
Maybe he should have let you down slowly.
But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.
The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldnā€™t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didnā€™t and still doesnā€™t. Heā€™s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.
How could I have been so dense?
How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didnā€™t think it would affect him to this extent.
ā€œIt was a stupid middle school crush, Iā€™m over you (Y/N).ā€
He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.
ā€œIt was a stupid middle school crush, Iā€™m over you.ā€
ā€œIt was a stupid middle school crush, Iā€™m over you.ā€
ā€œIt was a stupid middle school crush, Iā€™m over you.ā€
The guilt didnā€™t go away.
In fact, now that heā€™s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he canā€™t. He doesnā€™t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body wonā€™t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.
Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence heā€™s been dying to let out.
ā€œIt was a middle school crush, but Iā€™m still into you. I always have been.ā€
Is it just me, or is this bad-
Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate itšŸ˜Œ
Tags:
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Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!
Iā€™m back to writing lmao Iā€™m bored in two week quarantine rn
Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request donā€™t be surprised if I repost thisšŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€
Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry
šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•
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poobit Ā· 3 years ago
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Um. One question. What the hell is your dni? It's just too.. excessive. I don't ship anime characters or whatever characters anymore (Honestly I'm a bit of a grandma for internet terms) but, I just don't get it. Is there something I'm missing? You do realize that those "ships" are fiction.. Right? Those shippers are aware that the context of those ships are wrong. They know how to separate fiction from reality, something I think you need to do too. I'm not suaing fiction doesn't affect reality.. Because it can sometimes, but what your saying is absurd. I used to "ship" (I don't even think that's the word for it. I didn't don't want them to necessarily be together in canon. I never saw them as "cute" or "okay" because it's not.) A pedophilic ship because I was going through my own trauma, and I used that "ship" to cope. But I, and many other fanfiction writers and survivors, never thought it was going to be okay in real life. I knew it was fake and never wanted it to actually be real. I never thought it was cute for that to happen in real life, either.
Honestly, it sucks because while I don't do that anymore (I only did it once, but still) it really helped me find myself. It helped me see another character I liked going through what I went through, that I wasn't alone. And I can assume other people do that too. There's plenty of people who use it to cope. It's just not fair how so many of them get ridiculed for venting. Everyone copes differently, and if someone writes some fucked up shit to deal with their trauma, that's their way of doing it. I have no say in it, unless they're hurting people and yadafafa.. you get the gist.
And. I mean, really..? Is aging up a character really that bad? Isn't it better to age up the character, rather than sexualize a minor? And even despite that, some people age up characters because, I don't know, sexualizing minors make them uncomfortable. Wow. Who would've guessed? I don't get this mindset, gatekeeping isn't fair for anyone but the gatekeeper lmao.
I don't know why a random ass strangers opinion matters especially at 4 AM, but I'm done w this. It's not that hard to get.. Ik tired of people getting harrassed. It's fake. The people writing it know it's fake. The people reading it know it's fake. So why can't you?
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for it being "fake " it sure made you feel "something" right now........please go to sleep next time instead of sending me shit i dont give a single shit about Your Individual Feelings and im not gonna lay down my own trauma for you as explanation because you decided to be insufferable .
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mrs-nate-humphrey Ā· 4 years ago
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youā€™ve talked a little bit about this wrt dan, but iā€™m curious: what are your favorite seasons/arcs for the main gg characters? (serena, blair, dan, nate, jenny, vanessa) cause everyoneā€™s personalities tended to uh, shift a bit from season to season and storyline to storyline, and iā€™m wondering which eras of those characters were your favorite?
oh, so i sat on this question for a very long time, and spent a ton of time thinking over it. here we go!Ā 
i loved the wayĀ serenaĀ was written in s1 and s2. she was so full of joy despite all the difficult things sheā€™d endured, so bubbly and warm and... lively is ALWAYS the adjective that comes to mind for serena, despite how itā€™s a terrible pun. but yeah! she had an energy to her that was very childlike & genuine, and i loved that about her - despite the things sheā€™d endured, she was so full of light (?? how do i describe this.) i know that serenaā€™s arc gets notably more tragic s3 onwards, but i feel like the way she was written lost a bit of depth s3 onwards as well. she had a sharp wit, and a good sense of humour, she was playful and... most notably, she had this little giggle? that she literally NEVER does in the later seasons, which makes me sad?? she stopped laughing like a child at the age of, what, 19?? idk. in s1 & s2 serena had so many layers, and i feel like as the seasons went on they tried to, uh. keep only the surface layers? they didnā€™t really do justice to the character they started out with.
my answer forĀ vanessaĀ is actually the exact same, with slight modifications. vanessaā€™s energy in s1 and s2 was unparalleled. literally the best. i loved her and the way she was critical of everything and YET so ready to learn. compared to all these rich, privileged, white people... her presence was just SO good and so important to me, because the way she was so critical of the uber rich was something nobody else really was, and i think that perspective WAS valuable and shouldā€™ve remained, haha. idk what it was about s3, but i feel like they didnā€™t keep the crux of who vanessa was? it wasnā€™t a BAD vanessa season as much as an incomplete one. i felt they couldā€™ve done so much more with a character like vanessa.... sheā€™s so vibrant and full of life! and the way s3 was for her was very surface. and then in s4 they just demolished her character entirely. iā€™ve said it before, iā€™ll say it again: what jenny, juliet and vanessa did in 4x09 was TOTALLY out of character for vanessa. she would never,Ā everĀ do that. and by the time s4 came around... someone else said this, i donā€™t remember who. but they said that vanessa was basically being used as a plot device more than as a character. notice how sheā€™s always in the right place at the right time to overhear the right thing? itā€™s a travesty, because vanessa was just..... so significant to me. like her being there added so much value & even changed the tone of the show imo.
myĀ blairĀ feelings are very complicated. i think sheā€™s fascinating, and i love leighton & her performance. i love book blair so much more than show blair, and idk why or how to explain it. i mentioned this inĀ that post where i ranked the characters, but while watching blair in high school specifically i canā€™t EVER forget that she would probably hatecrime me, and even when sheā€™s out of school she is still supremely racist at times. i actually liked blair best in s5 - and i know she was going thru ~tragic~ stuff (i think they dialled the tragedy too high actually, like, blair had TOO MUCH on her plate and from a storytelling point of view it was... ambitious, to say the least, to hope to bring all out of that out on tv) but like, keeping her tragedy aside. her capacity for kindness and care really shone thru while she was with dan, and i liked how the d/b relationship took her out of her comfort zone and herĀ ā€œbut im a Waldorf!ā€ bubble and let her, idk, be a person. i liked her in s4, too. i feel like blair is a really good, nuanced, fleshed out character as blair, and the way she clung to being a waldorf combined with her rich-white-girl privilege got kind of boring after a while because like. sheā€™s not like louis? her character has so much depth. her character doesnā€™t need to be reduced to a title, because sheā€™s SO much more than that.
i feel like i need to do a lot more rewatching when it comes to dan because i CANNOT be objective about him. he reminds me far too much of myself!!! down to his flaws and his mistakes and his issues ā€“ Ā i was a precocious little shit in high school at times in very similar ways to dan, i like to think iā€™ve grown out of that (& am perpetually making an effort TO grow out of falling into those patterns) & thatā€™s what i want for dan, too. danā€™s arc feels real to me, because a lot of it is my arc, too. feeling lonely, out of place & unaccepted in high school --> being a popular kid in collegeā€¦ that hits really close to home. s1 & s2 are important seasons to me because iā€™m extremely protective of awkward, trying-his-best high school dan (he can be awful at times, but he can be earnest and sincere, too!) i feel like s4 is actually the best dan season ā€“ took me a while to get here, but halfway thru my s2 rewatch thatā€™s how iā€™m leaning. but danā€™s arc was very interesting to me, and i wish theyā€™d kept his heart. trying to retcon him as evil fell absolutely flat to me, like. who are you convincing! one of my friends and i were joking about how georgie blackmailed dan into pretending to be gossip girl (she obviously has dirt on him that nobody else does.) anyway. danā€™s arc felt pretty true until the end of s4. i wasnā€™t a big fan of how he was written in s5, i felt like something had been taken away from his character, but i donā€™t know how to say it better. youā€™re right though, i have gone over this a lot! so iā€™m not going to break my head over it, ā€˜cause weā€™re already a thousand words in and i still have nate and jenny to go.
speaking of jenny, though: i think danā€™s storylines REALLY needed more of a big brother arc. the way he was characterised, especially in s1, was very ā€œi would kill a man for my baby sisterā€ and i have NO idea where that went or why they got rid of it. (actually, i do have some idea. fucking chip wiskers apologism & elevation of chair over literally anything else. sigh)
okay, now speaking of jenny in terms of jenny. i liked her s1 arc, like, her trying to make friends with these people & trying to keep her morals and realising she canā€™t do both was interesting. i think that shouldā€™ve been that with her clashes with girls in constance, though. and afterwards, either nothing happens, or she transfers out of constance, etc. jennyā€™s s2 arc makes me sad ā€“ she was exploited and treated like dirt in so many ways :( the jenny/agnes was interesting in s2, though, and thereā€™s no way to interpret it that ISNā€™T lesbian. iā€™ve always felt like jennyā€™s feelings for nate in s2 are very comphet. jennyā€™s s3 arc made me even sadder than her s2 arc- she was alienating all her friends one by one, making everyone hate her, and justā€¦ā€¦ spiralling. she really needed a better support system. her s4 arc made no sense. like. why did she come back in the city to fuck with serena like that? it didnā€™t feel right.
yeah, all that saidā€¦ i feel like there are many super intriguing elements of jennyā€™s storylines and arcs, like, even within canon events if things had been executed differently, it couldā€™ve been actually good/empowering. but the writers hated jenny. and this show was never a feminist show.
ah, soā€¦ nate. he started out as a flake in s1 & s2. thatā€™s his whole thing. he doesnā€™t know who he wants to be / how to get what he wants / how to get where he wants. he takes people for granted. he isnā€™t dependable or reliable, he lets people down (most notably, blair & vanessa.) and he means well, sure! but his life is like amber and heā€™s trapped in it. he doesnā€™t follow his heart, heā€™s too busy trying to please the wrong people, etc etc. in s3 heā€™s suddenly so ready for commitment, which always breaks my heart because vanessa!!! but anyway. s3 has a shift in his character, possibly him getting dumped at prom and realising that high school is over and one thing that tethered him to his family (being a kid, being a high schooler, being a minor, whatever) ā€“ Ā one big thing that held him there is gone. so it makes sense that he starts trying to be his own person. i like s3 nate, and s4 nate. we see nate sort of gradually try and be a moral compass, and itā€™s interesting to me. when i write d/n fic something i really focus on is dan finding nate dependable, and i think thatā€™s a value that builds in nate over time. nate of season 1 is not dependable, nope, no way. but nate of s4 seems like a decent friend to have. in s5 and s6 they more or less threw his entire arc to the wind and gave him so many shitty storylines (sage spence, wtf? nate would not do this. heā€™s been on the opposite end of this before, he would not carry the pattern forward, ffs.)
idk. this almost hit 1.7k, LMAO. i hope it made some amount of sense!
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soft4gguk Ā· 3 years ago
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Tessa ure back and it made me saur happy <3 i always wanna leave a good review but i always struggled a lot hwever this is my fav chapter so ill try!! first i miss yuuu so much. i cant deny i hav my fave writers before tbah came to me. apparantly theyre mia but then i saw ur blog. like the fic itself, u build a home in this hidden world of tumblr. u rebuild a safe space for me xx
i engulfed myself w some bad boy jk fics while waiting to ur update and god my hopes in men almost drowning and thank u for saving it!! secondly,,, despite tbah jaykay not sayying the L word idk i still trust him?? (or maybe bc i trust u) most fics i read were always one sided so it's like walking on an iceberg.. but u gave us assurance by showing his pov so maybe thats why and thank u for that!!
next,,how could u make simple interaction between them so meaningful?! i cant word this right opposing to how u wrote it. but i could really feel the strong emotions they hav between the lines?? gosh i cant thank u enough. im always in awe to ur writing its so smart and every line gave resonance (imagine me putting highlights to all sentencs lmao) aaand! the smut was IMMACULATE..i never visioned "making love" this perfect. very clear, full of romance, u nailed it!
alsoo :(( while reading the fic i hav this thought oc's personality is a reflection of u in rl. i feel guilty for being smitten but i think ure a really sweet person! just like someone i could easily trust my whole life the first time i met them. i hope everything works your way n wishing u always the best <33
anyways.. the journal scene is absolutely my favorite! so lemme leave this scene here-------
ā€œWrite about me.ā€ He winks, sending a troop of butterflies straight to your chest, spreading like wildfire all through you ā€“ ever so weak for him. You hand him the bag you were previously holding ā€“ the one that stores the journal youā€™d originally bought. ā€œHere.ā€ He grabs it, confused but soft as he smiles. ā€œI donā€™t know what to write about, though.ā€ You smile, taking one step towards him, closing the distance as you look up at him, eyes indecisive as they scan his own before traveling down to his lips.
You shrug, your gaze growing so sweet. ā€œMe.ā€
hiiii šŸ„ŗ first off, I want to say that this ask felt like a big, warm hug from u to me and I can't even begin to express my gratitude for it. it put such a big smile on my face that I'm unsure ill be able to shake off for the remainder of the day, so thank you so much. I hope you know I'm sending that love right back to you and multiplied.
I love your feedback so much and your name is one I look forward to receiving on my inbox so even if its one sentence or a bunch of paragraphs, please send them if it strikes you <3 thank you. I trust him too!!! I think that something very beautiful happens when we take people out of pedestals and simply accept them as flawed humans - in a way, that's what I want to portray with both jungkook and oc in this story. and even with his parents and anyone that might strike controversy in the storyline at times. a couple of chapters back oc said it herself beautifully, "love is understanding."
its so sweet of you to find me in her - I guess in a way, there's a little bit of me in all of the characters to some extent, whether big or small and oc is one I enjoy writing a lot so it flatters me that you'd say that <3 thank uuuu.
oh man, oh man... that chapter bit really got me too šŸ„ŗ I love him so much for that. imagine someone doing that for u!!!! it'd fall in love right then and there hehe.
im so glad u enjoyed!!!! and I truly am sending you so much love and life and a million kisses paired with a million hugs!!!! I love you. I hope you're able to keep finding a safe space in this little corner of the internet. xx
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readingaccountability Ā· 4 years ago
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snow crash - neal stephenson
my playlist (because of The Way That I Am)
final thoughts:
okay, im going to be honest right out of the gate- i cant decide whether this is a book id recommend or not. it was really fun for the most part, but personally there was a lot more exposition than id like. the early portions of the novel have exposition which feels completely fair, mostly things relating to worldbuilding. stephenson creates his own vision of future america, and some places online referred to it as cyberpunk, and some as post-cyberpunk. id be more in the latter camp, mostly due to the way he plays with tropes, leaving the reader unsure of which will be subverted and which wont.
the use of language was really fun, and i enjoyed the worldbuilding a lot. his vision of a futuristic capitalistic earth feels surreal in its immediacy and recognizability. the back jacket blurb ends with "a future america so bizarre, so outrageous, you'll recognize it immediately." which, yeah. a texan info-tech magnate? two competing corporations owning the highway system? suburban city-states? this was another enjoyable thing- everything was colorfully named, and names treated totally normally, which kind of poked fun at how we have everyday things named very ludicrously and for the most part we are totally blind to it.
one aspect i really enjoyed was that the author often doesn't make certain things clear to the audience, until he does, and then it becomes necessary to reassess the entire story and setting. this goes to underscore the theme of the importance of information and the ways we take it in and perceive the world based upon it. for example, we don't learn that y.t. is fifteen until maybe 75 pages in, at which point a lot makes sense in retrospect. the same thing occurs in the worldbuilding, as suddenly a detail is given in passing and the reader must incorporate it into the setting, which by default we assume to be similar in many ways to our idea of america. it keeps the reader on their toes as well as furthering the worldbuilding. for the most part, the tech stuff didnt feel outdated to me, despite being a future projected out from '92.
however, aspects of the book are definitely very 1992. id put these into two camps: the first, being that the book does at different times use slurs. the main character is black and asian, the n word is used a few times by racist side-character/antagonist types, as are a few other racial slurs. there was also the occasional usage of the r slur, within the narrative prose itself, rather than usage as an insult within dialogue.
the protagonist, who is named, unfortunately, hiro protagonist, is a great character and felt very fleshed out to me, though at times he reminded me more of dirk strider than normally would be ideal. (its obvious that stephenson and andrew hussie are of a similar type of writer, and play with similar tropes, lmao.) hiro is a man of many worlds. he seems to shift between them easily, though never fully existing in any of them. this is reflected in his background, both in his biracial identity and in having been raised on a myriad of army bases. this is layered further in his fluidity in interacting with both reality and the metaverse, yet remaining slightly, consistently aloof. fascinatingly the first moment i sensed this drop was when we meet juanita- aka where his real and meta realities coincide. the description of them as the adam and eve of the metaverse is both insanely romantic and thematically key (good god i wish we had more than like, two conversations between them). juanita designed the facial component to metaverse avatars, doing the majority of this work when the two were together, and hiro can see echoes of both their facial tics in the face of every avatar in the metaverse. in a way, by having done this work juanita is positioned by the narrative as one of the gods of this digital realm. she is also hiro's call to action, being aware of the coming trouble and alerting him to it, as well as connecting him to the informational database he needs to prepare.
y.t., the secondary protagonist, fucking ruled. i loved that she was just a fifteen year old punkass kid whose mom doesnt know how crazy this part time job is. y.t. being worried about her mom was a great thread throughout, and a really good balance to how obviously independent y.t. is. i do wish there had been a chance to explain more about her background (she has a dad who left who is mentioned in a throwaway sentence, and a boyfriend who is mentioned near the beginning but never again.) i really enjoyed how obviously hyperaware y.t. was at all times about her own place within the insanities of the setting, while also consistently writing her as a teen maybe in way too deep who thinks about things in typically teenage ways. but like, that wasn't ever held against her? the narrative meets her where she is. it was honestly awesome. HOWEVER,
i absolutely hated the raven and y.t. scenes. how creepy!!! he basically statutory rapes her!!! we know hes at least late 20s early 30s, because hes the same age as hiro. if this sort of content is upsetting to read for you, i definitely do NOT recommend this book. (if you want to avoid reading these bits: ch 47 y.t. meets raven, ch 50 they are in a bar eating, ch 52 things happen that result in y.t.'s anti-assault device activating- she did not activate it on purpose, but forgot it was there- and raven is knocked out.)
please PLEASE dont take any of the following analysis as like, trying to be apologetic towards this scenes. because again they were awful and hard to get through and really gross. but im also cognizant that the author was obviously trying to convey something by making the choice, like the way it was written is obviously not condoning this sort of thing.
i think maybe what stephenson was trying to get at with that, was that we see hiro internally negate any potential for anything untoward with y.t. basically immediately, since he kind of senses that she might have a small crush on him (though this doesnt last more than a fleeting moment, especially from her perspective). vs raven, whose 'poor impulse control' warning tattoo eventually elicits a sarcastic remark from hiro after he finds out raven and y.t. were "a thing". i really dont think hiro knew how far it went? like it was just suuuper weird, but i figured it was meant narratively to 1. execute the chekovs gun of y.t.'s anti-assault device, 2. contrast hiro and raven (especially considering the bike-racing argument where theyre telling the story together, which is supposed to parallel them, while contrasting the differences in how they ended up?), and 3. just to get raven unconscious, i guess. but good god it was weird and i hated every second of it, why couldnt the device have like, activated way earlier?? gah. fucking upsetting. moving past that!
honestly i was really frustrated by how little screentime juanita got, because the way she was introduced was so fucking interesting and then shes mostly off doing her own thing. the bits of explanation she gives at the end about what she was up to on the raft are so sparse and im like damn, can we get a little bit of her pov in here? please? that would have ruled. additionally, shes supposed to be hiros love interest, but we see so little of them interacting outside her intro scenes. a huge portion of why hiro is getting into the sumerian mythology is literally framed as something that will help him understand juanita, but we dont get to see him talk to her about it barely at all.
the supporting characters were quite fun, i particularly liked the librarian. big surprise, i liked the overly literal ai information-dispensor, lmfao. watching him and hiro interact reminded me SO hard of geordi laforge having honest to god conversations with the computer where he tries to coax information out of it, aka one of my favorite little aspects of tng.
and lastly, the major plot themes themselves. i adore the way stephenson approached action, it was very entertaining. usually i cant really visualize action scenes written out, but his use of language was really really effective and engaging. the plot itself was absolutely fascinating, though i found the premise pretty contrived. which isnt bad in itself, i was fully suspending my disbelief until the last hundred pages or so. which for a 550+ page book, isnt too bad.
i did like the approach of linking the ancient to the modern, that is always really neat. and i think ultimately stephenson did it in an interesting way, not how i would have done it, but definitely interesting! creating these ideas about information infrastructures, and there being words that can access those and be used to control people, was wild. not sure if i agree about the equating of religion to a virus, though he did specifically establish that it was more the approach to religion, than religion itself. (maybe if juanita had been more goddamn present in the narrative that could have been elaborated on a little more. literally her perspective would have been perfect in balancing that out!!)
ultimately what did me in was the very very very long winded MONOLOGUE where hiro re-explained the whole premise, in ways that didnt really neatly organize into a cohesive argument. a lot of the scenes where hiro talks to the librarian, which are interspersed throughout the book, are really exposition heavy, because stephenson is rooting his ideas in historical concepts that need to be explained to both hiro and the audience. and i thought all that was fine, because it was a conversation where hiro was grappling with the information, and he was figuring it out along with the reader, and most importantly it was a conversation between him and the librarian computer program.
howeverrr later on we get a full rehash of all that, where hiro makes clear some stuff that was just implied for the reader, and hes literally just telling these important men whats up in this big long monologue. utterly worthless. i kept reading it and going YEAH, we KNOW, we know this we know this. and the important men barely interjected. it added basically nothing to our understanding of the situation, other than reframing it. but everything added was already an implicit thing, and didnt really need to be said again.
the resolution to the book was stellar, the last 30-40 pages, once hiro is onto the raft, were great. ultimately after reading and giving some time to digest it, i think it was a solidly great book with a few big drawbacks near the end, but which dont carry through and sully the ending.
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like-rain-or-confetti Ā· 4 years ago
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Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! šŸ’œ
Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.
Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that šŸ¤”šŸ˜’
Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)
So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.
Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy theĀ ā€˜friendshipā€™ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it isĀ ā€˜maintainedā€™ throughout the books. I think itā€™s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.
Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that heā€™s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. ITā€™S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aroā€™s lmao.
Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as iā€™ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. Thatā€™s Marcusā€™ evident grief. He isnā€™t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. Heā€™s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldnā€™t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesnā€™t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. Itā€™s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?
Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two wereĀ  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. Itā€™s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability wasĀ evident in her human life along with Alecā€™s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. Theyā€™re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word iā€™m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.
Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isnā€™t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that heā€™s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WEā€™VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and iā€™ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldnā€™t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, heā€™s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and thatā€™s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i donā€™t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldnā€™t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now itā€™s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isnā€™t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time iā€™ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i donā€™t have it and wouldnā€™t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. Youā€™ll probably find theyā€™re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. Heā€™s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though heā€™s not really a goofball in our eyes, heā€™s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.
Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isnā€™t much of a talker, polite and formal. Heā€™s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, weā€™ll say heā€™s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amunā€™s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. Heā€™s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lilā€™ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))Ā  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesnā€™t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but canā€™t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesnā€™t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesnā€™t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest.Ā 
Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didnā€™t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was allĀ ā€˜pretty vampire used for her looksā€™ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. Iā€™ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!Ā  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and weā€™re going to continue on as though Heidi didnā€™t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelseaā€™s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) Itā€™s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. Iā€™ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, theyā€™d be six feet under but iā€™d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but iā€™ll swiftly move on because thatā€™s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? weā€™ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. Iā€™ll take that. After a newborn vampire causedĀ ā€˜too much attentionā€™ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand thatā€™s where it stops and im left hanging.Ā  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.Ā  From what i remember and can find- she didnā€™t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.Ā  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bellaā€™s perspective, its literally Heidiā€™s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you sheā€™s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which youā€™ll be likeĀ ā€˜sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. Iā€™m down.ā€™ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which iā€™m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether theyā€™re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. Thatā€™s when i knew iā€™d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or iā€™d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope ofĀ ā€˜sheā€™s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.ā€™ Then when itā€™s discovered she didnā€™t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption ofĀ ā€˜oh sheā€™s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulatedā€™. In a lot of ways, thatā€™s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.Ā  Sheā€™s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. Sheā€™s very manipulative and yes sheā€™s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what sheā€™s like as a person. Sheā€™s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one whoā€™s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two donā€™t see each other romantically. Theyā€™re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. Theyā€™re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he seeā€™s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.Ā  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. Sheā€™s also a really good friend, you bet sheā€™ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well weā€™ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? Sheā€™ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, youā€™ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.Ā  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.Ā  I also donā€™t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and thatā€™s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times werenā€™t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.
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Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, iā€™ll take it. Youā€™ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and thatā€™s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, sheā€™s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (Heā€™s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was likeĀ ā€œYup, youā€™ll do.ā€ The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure weā€™ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, Itā€™s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, itā€™s better than having a husband who sheā€™d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.
Athenodora:Ā  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! šŸ˜ So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.
Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aroā€™s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what youā€™re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was likeĀ ā€œIā€™m really happy for yā€™all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.ā€ but was actually likeĀ ā€œwait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.ā€ Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And thatā€™s it. Thatā€™s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme. Ā i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say.Ā ā€œGuys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.ā€ Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.
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Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. Iā€™ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the nameĀ ā€˜Corinā€™. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think sheā€™s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.Thatā€™s all iā€™ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(
Afton:Ā  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what weā€™re told is that heā€™s Chelseaā€™s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. Thatā€™s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!Ā  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. Heā€™s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. Itā€™s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course sheā€™d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasnā€™t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasnā€™t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and heā€™d do it and she doesnā€™t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on eraā€™s such as the 1920ā€²s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelseaā€™s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isnā€™t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They arenā€™t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesnā€™t mean to say they wont invite Afton when heā€™s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well.Ā 
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(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)
Chelsea: So supposedly Chelseaā€™s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then iā€™ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. Weā€™ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. itā€™s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corinā€™s ability on Chelsea to make sure sheā€™d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelseaā€™s character is only my depiction.Ā  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under peopleā€™s skin- not in terms that sheā€™s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well.Ā Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. Sheā€™s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920ā€²s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.Itā€™s like playing dress up! Iā€™d actually love to write more about her. Iā€™ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Aftonā€™s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. Itā€™s a part of their dynamic!
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(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)
Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aroā€™s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldnā€™t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, sheā€™d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.
Santiago:So whatā€™s known about Santiago is that he doesnā€™t actually have an ability. Heā€™s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why heā€™s kept around. If they need fighters, theyā€™re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) Thatā€™s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldnā€™t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. Itā€™s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldnā€™t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. Heā€™s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if itā€™s insulting- he doesnā€™t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didnā€™t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.
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