#i suppose i could just. sleep
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i was like "i dont have to go to sleep at 8:30 today! yahoo!!" but now it's 8:30 and im sleepy
#the thing is. i close tomorrow. so i wanna get used to staying up late#but i also wanna get a good amount of sleep#so it's a dilemma#i suppose i could just. sleep#i'll have to wake up at like. 7am?#thatll give me. 10 hours or so#which is what im used to#and better than ive been getting the past few days#and then i should be able to stay up to close. i think#im so excited for another midnight walk with the dog tomorrow /s#i guess it's better than 4:30am walks tho.??#donk post#donk text
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Thinking about how the Stan twins were both taught from a young age that life is a matter of transactions. How they were valued only for the money they could bring their family, and how this shaped their lives in such different ways.
Ford was the intelligent one, and this made him valuable. He knew what he had to offer. He knew he was important. (He had to be. Experience had shown him that love was conditional. He had to earn it. He had to be enough.) When Bill Cipher approached him, he confirmed everything Ford wanted so desperately to believe about himself. Imagine that sense of excitement, of accomplishment, of pride and power and relief. Imagine having that final, unshakeable source of external validation - that this being that knew everything and could have chosen anyone, chose you. Imagine knowing exactly what you could do to please this being and, with the understanding that love is conditional, knowing that you could fulfill the requirements for that love. Imagine knowing exactly how to ensure you would be loved, not just by that being but by the family you uplifted and the future you created. All you had to do was satisfy your own curiosity… all you had to do was build a portal. Is it any wonder that Ford fell for Bill’s tricks?
Then we have Stan, the failure. If love was transactional, he could never pay the fee. He knew people only helped you if you had something to offer. And he had nothing to offer, so why would anyone ever help him? Why would anyone care? Of course he didn’t fall for Bill. He couldn’t. When Bill promised gifts and power and happiness, how could Stan believe a word he said? In a world without altruism, such promises could never be trusted. There was always a price to be paid - and Stan had never been able to pay it.
And so the end of the world was triggered and then averted, all because one brother thought he could earn the world’s love, while the other knew he would never earn anything good.
A+ parenting, Filbrick. Truly.
#very sarcastic at the end there#I hate filbrick pines#anyway the stans have my brain in a chokehold#the story! the character arcs!! the themes!!!#I adore them#once again the pacing of this analysis got screwed up#blame that on stream of consciousness and sleep deprivation#I really did want to add more to Stan’s section but I guess that’ll have to wait#gravity falls#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#gravity falls stanford#stanford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls stanley#stan twins#ok when I talk about love here it’s not really in the context of billford or romantic love at all#it’s just the feeling of being loved and important and actually mattering to somebody#but you could view it through a romantic lens I suppose so I’ll tag the ship#billford#gravity falls analysis#madbard rambles
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thought about the frog show again at 4am
#amphibia#marcy wu#gave up on the hand because my brain was gone after my 3h project meeting and 3h assignment#sleeping at 2-4am every day my behated but a necessity at this point#I miss amphibia. what a time it was to be alive and part of the fandom#sketches#ysart#I. miss drawing. I really do.#I try not to think about it because it gets me all sad and existential#but I also know that formal education in the arts could also lead to intense burnout (for me)#so it’s just a :/ situation I suppose
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CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel edit#hazbin charlie#charlie magne#hazbin edit#requested#hazbin hotel pilot#that's entertainment#charlie#my gifs#god ain't she the cutest little thing!#not gonna lie i get a bit emotional seeing her do The Pose during ''wonderful fantastic new hotel''#it's the same pose she does in the S1 poster :')#okay actually im back here to say some things in the tags:#holy almighty LORD these gave me so much grief to color in a way i thought looked nice#specifically the one of her in the news chair. sorry i was NOT gonna let that hideous highlighter green color assault all your eyeballs.#did i lose nearly two hours of sleep getting it right because i still have no idea what i'm doing? yes. worth it? YES. ohh yes.#i liked the seafoam look so i made the cloud sequence match :] or at least tried to#there WAS supposed to be another one of her in the news room but i just hated how it kept turning out so i scrapped it.#coloring the main series was one thing to learn but the PILOT? never has it been so obvious to me just how much more bright and vibrant#the colors got during the progression of the world design. also. if by any chance one of those cool and experienced#gif makers happens to see these tags and wants a good laugh: i've been doing this for how many months now? and just last NIGHT figured out#how to use the fucking eraser in photoshop....... thing is... i also draw. i KNOW what program tools look like. i KNOW ppl draw in PS.#i'm just a really silly fuckin goose!! TEEHEE FUCKING HEE I GUESS!#so for months i've been like ''god i wish i could just erase this part from the layer'' and looking at the eraser tool and just being like#''nah it's probably different and weird i'll just stick to what i know'' -> said boo boo the FOOL#see i could be in the club but i'd rather be aggressively neurodivergent about the silly queer demon cartoon that altered my brain chemical
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“men are always willing to believe two things about a woman: one, that she is weak, and two, that she finds him attractive.”
truly insane to have a character say this and then make them actually attracted to men in any capacity. btw.
#dragon age#morrigan dragon age#i know i’ve said this before#captain holt voice. and you’ll hear it again!!#like listen. i know it would change the implications of the ritual. but clearly they’ve already considered#that you can have sex with people you’re not attracted to bc she can sleep with an unromanced warden or alistair or loghain#yknow it just ties into the whole. my mother raised me to be a certain type of way but that’s not me#i really like her friendship w a female warden and feel like it’s a good romance on-ramp but it would also be thematically interesting#if she were asexual#but i know 1) leliana was originally supposed to be a lesbian and that didn’t fly#and 2) if it was on their radar even a little bit. they would have avoided it bc of Problematic Implications#ie discourse about corrective rape. even though she’s the one who initiates it and makes it very clear. if she’s not in a romance with#that character. that it’s just doing a job that needs to be done and there is no emotional attachment there#i also think. perhaps. they could have done something different for the ritual ESPECIALLY if they’re going to call it that#like obviously it’s a fade to black scenario but persistently calling it a ritual makes me think there’s something Else that happens too#maybe lean into that#anyway i’m just saying there’s workarounds for these excuses i made up lmao#mine#morrigan
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I wanna give him a blanket. Can it maybe just materialize outta nowhere?
(I know fabric wrinkles suck to draw. You don't gotta 😵)
#i uh#i got carried away. Oops. wtf is wrong with this guy??#Lmk if you need translations for the particularly glitchy part.#also just to clarify the physical glitch is not what /caused/ him to say that it just particularly irritated him and so he lashed out-#-before he could think ab it. i almost contemplated a frame of him apologizing & then i thought about it... he would not. nuh uh.#Last ask with this setting for now. It /will/ come back though because he sleeps there.#stayed up a little too late to finish this... i was so excited all day to do this one lmfao#it wasnt supposed to go past where he calls you a plethora of names but i needed to make it somehow transition back to the storefront later#thank you brave anon for your attempt. not really how it works here though. The fabric folds isnt really the issue lol.#as an apology you get the longest one to date. thanks o7.#spamton#spamton g spamton#[you've got mail!]#he switched up so quickly after it dissapated beause he realized he was just yelling at a camera... embarasing.. what a freak#going crazy in the tags today not sorry
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WAIT WAIT WAIT HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE
So normally we only get fullblown, extended and dedicated flashbacks for heroic characters in One Piece, the characters who we're meant to root for. The literal only TRUE exception we've had to this rule was Big Mom's flashback. Even fucking Doflamingo's flashback was tied to Law and Rosinante's
So the fact that we haven't gotten a single fucking GLIMPSE at Crocodile's backstory is?!?
Like sure, we haven't gotten like a Moria flashback, but you know, he literally told us all we needed to know himself, AND we got to see glimpses of him in the Wano flashbacks. Arlong didn't get a flashback of his own, but he did get to cameo in Fisher Tiger's flashback. And Rob Fucking Lucci got a flashback that was 6 whooping panels long
BUT CROCODILE?? Not only do we know almost Fuck All about his story, but also have never gotten as much as a glimpse at it? But his backstory has been HINTED and TEASED at multiple times??
GUYS. FELLAS
Like. I am SURE the "Full Backstories for Heroes Only" rule is going to get broken again, but with Imu and Blackbeard already there just BEGGING to have their beans spilled, can we even be sure Sir Fucking Crocodile is somehow going to become A Villain So Dangerous To The Narrative that he ALSO should also recieve a Full Fucking Backstory?? For his Nefarious Schemes?? AT THIS POINT??
Y'all
I think it's more likely Oda's been saving up Croc's backstory because it might just completely recontextualize his entire character
#CROCODAD REAL?!#UNIRONICALLY#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Crocomom#OP Meta#Moon posting#Sleep Deprivation opened my third fucking eye I can see the fucking Matrix#Unironically this is the thing that has pushed me back into actually believing in Crocodad despite the timeline#Because I genuinely can not imagine how else Crocodile could be turned into an (anti) hero if it's not Crocodad#And I can not imagine his villanous schemes needing a backstory to explain them at this point- not over BB and Imu#And I mean sure maybe we could get three whole Extended Villian Backstories for Imu Blackbeard and Croc#But I just feel like it'd be so unnececary#Because there is no fucking way Crocodile is going to become The Ultimate Villian of the Story again#Not without some Darth Vader bullshit happening#But since he's supposed to be based on Wagnas from Romancing SaGa 2 and Wagnas wanted to SAVE the world#Look I have a whole different post about that waiting in my drafts I'll post it later#Point is!! I can't imagine him becoming The Final Villian!! Not at all!!#Also yes there are characters like Mihawk who have like histories etc that I'm sure many people would love to learn about#The only difference is that we've never gotten as much as a hint at what kind of a backstory Mihawk might have#Meanwhile Crocodile Having A History is something that's been hinted at every arc he's appeared in pre-timeskip#Like we KNOW he has a story we just don't know what it is
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"The Knight Of Dawn being a near exact copy of Silver is lazy!" You absolutely think the curtains are just blue, don't you?
#Y'all are free to call me crazy BUT#If Yana went out of her way to design KoD to be an exact replica of his son when that isn't the case for ANY OTHER Parent-Child Pair#Don't you think that was intentional?#If they are the only odd pair out don't you think that means something? Or are the curtain's just blue to you?#TKoD is an antithesis to Silver. He is everything Silver could/would have been had he not been put to sleep and adopted by Lilia#THAT is why TKoD is Silver but with longer blonder hair. Because he's supposed to be an undesirable outcome for Silver#A dog forever chained to his master's side without the courage to act on his own sense of what's right and wrong#Only when he isn't under the eyes of those he owes his life to and hold that above his head the does TKoD do what he knows is right#He lets Lilia escape with Malleus during his fight with Meleanor. In the middle of battle he gives the innocence a chance for life#And he's only allowed to do so because Henrik isn't there to interfere. Because for once he can act on his own morals and help someone#So when we see the Knight of Dawn next to Silver we aren't supposed to see a father and his son#We're supposed to see what Silver COULD have been had he not been raised by Lilia. Had he been raised to be a tool instead of an individual#A right his biological father was never able to obtain for himself#I guess this is the hill I'm dying on now. Yippee#TWST Knight of Dawn#The Knight of Dawn#TWST Silver#Silver Vanrouge#Twisted Wonderland Spoilers#TWST Spoilers#TWST Book 7 Spoilers#Twisted Wonderland Book 7 Spoilers#Twisted Wonderland
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I am exhausted, good heavens.
#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me#BUT#BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal#actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day#I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies#and boysies and peepsies#my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail#MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles#sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is#anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way#I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL#WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING#I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED#I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes#I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going#I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick#and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN#because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333#I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD#SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME#and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now#vent post#personal vent#tw vent#tw sui talk
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Js had a cute(??) idea to help cope with ii17
What if this was all just young Mephone playing pretend with his dad (who loves him) and Mephone made the contestants as little figurines and “hired” cobs to play the big bad guy and all the “dramatic” scenes are just silly as hell and it was all just them two sitting on the floor on Mephone 4s room playing with action figures
Like for example. The scene where cobs tells life and suitcase they aren’t real is just cobs acting and looking down at Mephone 4 holding two figurines in his little hands. And all the Meeple stuff is just things cobs made. The AirTags are regular size, he made a smaller model of the Mephone X for the sake of playing along. Mephone 4 and cobs sing along to The Future Is So Yesterday. What if inanimate insanity was just a father and his beloved, creative, maybe autistic son playing pretend.
#I’d draw it out if I could but I’m supposed to be sleeping#this is just a silly little idea I had in mind. my god does it make me happy#I know it’s just a stupid small little au that came into my head at like 10 at night#but I just want to see cobs care about Mephone 4 genuinely. like actually love his son. care about his interests#siiigh I can’t control the narrative but it might control me#inanimate insanity#osc#ii au#ii steve cobs#mephone4 ii
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how long do y’all think Ashe had to sleep in Mark’s bed with him after what happened to her mom. How often do you think Mark would try to put Ashe to bed and she’d run to him minutes after he leaves her room and begged him not to leave her. How often do you think Mark would hold her while she slept, staying awake for nights on end so that when she woke up screaming and sobbing from nightmares he could be awake to comfort her.
Do you think she moved back to her own room on her own or that she got to an age where Mark slowly started making her go back to her room instead. Do you think he’d sit in there and wait until she fell asleep or with his work one day he just stopped letting her crawl into bed with him. Do you think there were nights where when she could only fall asleep in his bed he’d carry her back to her room and she’d wake up, alone, in the room that damn book was in, do you think she’d just scream until Mark ran in to check on her?
#Ashe headcanons should probably be ripped away from me and I should be sent to go sit in timeout until I learn to not think about her#I can’t help it#her stories so fucking tragic i have to talk about my hcs on it as often as I can#also this hurts my mutuals as well and it’s pretty funny to see reblogs threatening my life#I feel like she’d also sleep in his bed the nights he had to stay out for work#like just being where she knew he could easily find her would help calm her down#even if realistically he could and probably would even easier find her in her own room#sighs and stares out a window#I’m supposed yo be doing schoolwork rn btw#jrwi#jrwi pd#prime defenders#ashe winters#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi ashe winters#jrwi hc#jrwi mark#mark winters#jrwi mark winters#moomins yapping<3
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Delusions (Patreon)
"Could I have your hand, sir?" Max didn't move, which Dexter was, sadly, getting used to.
"Sir?" Max jerked, then turned and stared at him, lost and blank. "Your hand, please."
Max's hand lifted shakily, and he laid it gently in Dexter's upturned palm. Dexter gave a quick and quiet "thank you," then turned it over in his own hand, observing him closely.
Too closely - his knuckles were rough and his fingernails were dull and cracked in places. His once-soft, not-a-day-in-his-life-subjected-to-hard-labour hands were now, already, toughened and split and scarred in places, especially the heel of his palm. He turned it over again, this time to stop looking so intensely. He had only wanted to give it a cursory glance to begin with.
"Do you know what I see, sir?" he asked as conversationally as he could manage, running his fingers along Max's abused flesh. He seemed to be at least half paying attention, his eye gazing down between them, and he'd occasionally twitch, encouragingly Dexter thought. He seemed to want to curl around him, then stopped and shook, his hand squeezing into a fist. Dexter coaxed him back out, encouraged him to hold himself lightly.
"What do you see?" He was almost startled by Max actually continuing their conversation, that happened so rarely now, shaking and quiet as it was. He took a deep breath, was he really going to do this?
"I see a hand, with five fingers." Max remained quiet, though his brow curled, and a guarded look came into his eye, though he still wasn't looking at Dexter. He felt a pang of guilt, but he had to try. "What do you see?"
Max's eye unfocused and began to water. He looked up, but not enough to reach Dexter's gaze in return, instead staring through his chest, and he felt just as hollow and empty as he must look to him.
"Do you take me for a fool, DAX?" Quiet and as close to angry as he'd heard since they'd been here.
No, not angry.
Betrayed.
He swallowed down the stinging lump at the back of his throat. He had to put on a brave face, had to keep his composure if he wanted Max to get better. That was the only thing he wanted, more than anything.
"Of course not, sir. Genuinely, what do you see?"
Max pulled his hand away and turned his body, his bandaged side facing Dexter. Shutting him out, pointedly. Dexter's empty hand curled into a fist, he was no better.
"Please, don't..." Max took a shallow, shuddering breath, and several beats before he spoke again, even quieter. "Don't ridicule me." Dexter could hear his breath catch, and he wanted nothing more than for this all to just stop.
"Sir, I didn't-"
"I've had enough of that." He shook his head stiffly, the action strange and wrong, like he had forgotten how. He stilled, his head turned even further away. "More than enough."
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#And a drabble-fic under the cut#I ended up writing that the night after I read - I was a bit too inspired while busy so it's a little on the unfocused side haha#I would've cleaned it but I worry it wouldn't make it out of that stage! Please enjoy it for now <3#This set is mostly periphery ideas - inspired by events rather than directly shown ♪ I suppose the first two kinda count tho#But they're more directly of the little scene I wrote ouò Poor ZEX </3#And Dex! He's usually so capable! But he's stretching himself so thin ahh it's hard to watch in the best way#Of course he doesn't want to give ''Max'' over to just anyone - anyone at all really - both of their trusts have bottomed out#But how much could he reasonably care for him in that state? When he's still being actively haunted and most importantly - Not Max#He needs helps he needs support he needs to sleep and shower but a second with his eyes off Max and - then what? He'll immolate from fear#It's hard to imagine him crying but pushed to this extreme? To the thought of losing Max utterly and completely? Hhhhh#I do also just love him being possessive even outside of how terrible the situation is - he's always had his glimpses but this situation#Brings out the worst in him <3 In terrible ways#Really his method is just setting ''Max'' up nearby and prompting him over the sound of the shower like that's not nerve-wracking at all#Like he already doesn't answer half the time if that#As for the mini fic I was really interested in Dex's line about indulging ''Max's'' delusions#Apart from the fact that they're not delusions - not that anyone believes him outside of the Institute - what it means to indulge is weird#I saw one example of how to handle delusions that stuck with me - how not to deny them outright while also not reinforcing them#Since it's not actually helpful to be told ''That isn't Really happening to you'' when to you - to ZEX - it really is! How invalidating#And so rather to take the approach of ''I don't see/feel/hear what you are - I can't find any evidence of it myself'' and extrapolating#Dex taking the approach of ''What reality are you experiencing right now?'' and trying to build from there!#Unfortunately ZEX has already been treated like....well like all that - he's not in the mood for games even well-intentioned ones#He /knows/ he's in a human body. He can feel that and see that and understands that. It doesn't change who - what he /is/#The idea of a completely broken ZEX is so sad to me :( He's so strong and prideful and vivacious - Max really is another him </3#It's not the same but he was saved from death! To fall into torture... But even despite that I want to see him succeed! As much as he can#Even in that small and shaking way I want to see him be hateful and spiteful - angry. Powerful <3 Fighting ♥
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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to put a long story short: at the end of ffxiv's base game, literally Directly before the beginning of its first expansion (heavensward), there is a series of quests and story arcs that eventually snowball into an hour-long cutscene in which the entire thing comes to a head in the literal worst way possible. like, "the hero's plans all go horribly wrong and several major characters die onscreen, with others going missing (presumed dead), eventually culminating in the player character being framed for the murder of the leader of a nation-state and being Literally Forced To Flee The Country" wrong.
heavensward leads directly on from this plotline. you arrive at the major location of the expansion in the midst of seeking asylum whilst being a wanted criminal everywhere else in the world right now. it's like. A Whole Thing. the game makes such a big deal out of it all. the fandom does as well. and for good reason!! it's a really good moment!!!!!!
and then roughly 1/3rds of the way into heavensward you find out that literally none of it mattered. nobody important actually died, no changes were actually made to the status quo, and nothing comes of being literally kicked out of the country for (what is implied to be) several in-universe weeks, if not months. None Of It Mattered. None.
TLDR; the bloody banquet is a major, exciting, and very infamous twist that seems like it's going to segway into a MAJOR upheaval of the status quo and some really intriguing ramifications for the story as a whole... and then heavensward does away with literally all of that and practically writes the entire thing off as a waste of time.
you may be able to see why i'm so salty about it.
#also worth noting that the nation-state leader (who's death was The one you were framed for)#was assassinated specifically because she was trying to reform her country's merchantile incredibly corrupt leadership system#into a more bearable democracy that would give voice to the people instead of the greedy scumbags currently in power#one of the members of the syndicate (a group of rich people who at this point have more power than the sultana- her)#tried to kill her bc. well. obviously reformation would mean they wouldnt be in control anymore.#and so her supposed death is the big crux of the bloody banquet#and then. THEN. heavensward goes OUT OF ITS WAY to reveal she is not only ALIVE AND PERFECTLY FINE#(she got drugged with the classic fantasy eternal sleep that looks like death medication)#but that her plan for reformation was ACTIVELY STUPID. she DOESN'T GET TO DO IT. NOTHING ABOUT THE STATE OF UL'DAH CHANGES#THE GAME JUST TELLS YOU BETTER GUYS ARE IN CHARGE NOW AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE FINE WITH THAT?#AS THOUGH THE ORIGINAL PLAN TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM ENTIRELY WAS THE FLAWED PART OF THIS EQUATION?#god. i hate it so much. if you're not gonna change the status quo at least have the balls to kill off a character for christ's sake#i can rant abt it all day. it's just such a travesty on every level#yin-thoughts#ffxiv#also for the record ''bloody banquet'' is a fan term. the whole thing isnt called anything in-universe iirc#it's just a catchy title for an infamous sequence wherein people die at a banquet. you know how it be#it's just. god. something about it is just so utterly vile. the game all but looks nanamo (and to some extent the player) in the eyes#and goes How Dare You Try And Change The System. You're Stupid For Thinking This Could Work.#it feels so disingenuous and mean spirited and now the entire thing just leaves the worst possible taste in my mouth#and it SUCKS. because the bloody banquet scene itself is INCREDIBLE. but the way the game handles it after it happens is just#so bad!! it's so bad!!!! aughhhh it's so so so so so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ffxiv writers are so in love with preserving the norm and so terrified of changing it up and/or killing off established characters#ive ranted abt it before and knowing myself i'll rant about it many a time again. it just sucks man#ffxiv crit
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Enomatsumiki ot3 charts bc them and Chappell Roan is the only thing that has been keeping me stable
#scarposts#not going in ANY major tags#nope#enomatsumiki#that one is ok bc its mostly empty anyway#anyway i have been cooking with my Remnant Matsuda au#you should totally ask me about it btw#but with the actual chart#alot of it is steeped in canon#like matsuda being the first to apologize after a fight#which he does in dr0#and mikan too bc she would apologize before the fight was even over#also the firsts are a bit confusing mainly bc matsushima was together way beforehand so#except the wake up one#thats bc i believe that they would wake up together at the same time bc they commute to work together#if they sleep to begin with#junko however just snoozes away#also not sure with the tropes#childhood freinds are a given#but i did coworkers and classmates for matsumiki bc thats the best i could#and love at first sight and patient nurse for junkan bc i have no fucking clue#pick your poison i suppose#Jealousy is not with each other btw its outsiders#matsuda with two people who thrive off pda when he absolutely does not#its ok they have each other then they can bother him when they are alone#Actually whats with mikan working well with people she absolutely should not?#mikan: i dont like when ppl are mad or bored... i always think its my fault :(#junko and yasuke: 😐😠#mikan: <333333333333333333333333333#she chose the woman who destroyed the world bc of boredom and the guy who is immune to having a good day
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at this point the most strategic thing for xue fangfei and xiao heng to do would be to get married as soon as possible. as long as they're single, they're each a liability to the grand scheme, because other people can keep trying to get engaged to them for their own purposes. they're loose ends. if they were married, especially xue fangfei since in this society a woman can only have one husband, it would take away that potential leverage that other people are trying to get over them. but they haven't gotten married, and i want to find a way for it to be for a satisfying character reason, but it's obviously just because the plot needs them to not be married so they can continue to have this exact problem of other people trying to marry them. the closest i can get to a good reason is that xue fangfei isn't ready to get married and xiao heng is respecting that, but i don't really believe that anymore. we cut away from them kissing at the end of episode 34. what happens after that? did they sleep together? i could maybe believe that xue fangfei slept with him, even given her trauma around being accused of adultery, because she trusts him, and she knows he will marry her as soon as she says the word. but if that's the case...why would she not just marry him at this point? yes i'm willing to trust him and make myself (my reputation) vulnerable to him but i'm not willing to do the other thing that would make all of this way less risky for me? it doesn't make any sense. so ultimately i haven't found a way to make this not annoying.
#i guess it's possible they didn't sleep together. but that thing he says the next day about being gentle seems a direct allusion to it#idk! idk. i could go with the flow of them not being married yet for plot reasons as long as there was also a compelling character reason#at the same time. then i could just focus on that and ignore the plot reason. but now you're making me look at the scaffolding.#you're reminding me this is all made up. i just want to suspend my disbelief stop showing me the wires#the double#my posts#oh wait i just thought of a way. maybe they already did get married...IN SECRET#which would explain both of their reactions when xue zhao calls him jie'fu#he's not supposed to know! how did he find out!!#he doesn't know dummy he can just read the room
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