#i like to talk about myself shut up

[i-revolve-around-you]

I think it's about time I wrote a proper introduction post

Hey y'all, welcome to my blog! I'm a tumblr veteran but decided to start over on a new account recently. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

🎵 the basics 🎵

nick ~ 28 ~ he/him ~ bi ~ white author ~ musician ~ gamer ~ nerd multi-fandom/shitposting this blog will be (mostly) SFW, but i still would rather not have minors following me. i just prefer interacting with adults, sorry. it's not personal. my likes, however, will be N/SFW, so be warned

my messages and ask box are always open! feel free to hit me up!

more info (including other links, and a list of fandoms/things i like) under the cut

tags: my ramblings | my face

🤩 a bit more about me 🤩

heya! the name's nick. i've been on tumblr since like...2011 or so? i was really big into it in my college years (2012-2017) but after The Great Tumblr Porn Ban of 2017 I've sorta been drifting in an out. When The Great Twitter Debacle of 2022 happened, I decided to migrate back on a new account so I could start fresh.

this account was immediately suspended because of my side-blog. which was a bit too unsafe for work for tumblr's guidelines ig 🙄 not mentioning that they had just recently updated their policy and everything i was posting was PERFECTLY FINE under them but w/e

so i started another one lmao and that's the one that you're looking at right now! my other account has since been restored but at that point I was already situated over here so like. whatever i guess. lol

i'm currently 28, and bisexual. semi-recently out of the closed as bi, actually. for years i identified as gay, but over time i started realizing "actually...i do kinda like girls?" i still identified as "gay" cuz it was easier than saying "so like i'm bi-sexual but mostly homo-romantic but also maybe potentially demi-sexual but only when it comes to real people?" then around 2020 it just kinda clicked with me, and the label of "bisexual" just felt right

anywho you didn't come here for my full life story. here's just a little bit more about me:

i'm a total nerd. i love video games, playing Yugioh, DND (just starting to get into that one), etc. i'm a writer. i've written several fanfics (some of which i'm really proud of, some of which i'm...less), and have a goal of one day publishing a novel (my main genre is YA contemporary with queer themes and characters). i'm a musician. i actually got my bachelor's degree in music (BA in Music). my main instrument is drums/percussion, but i'm learning a bit of guitar and can play a little bit of piano. i'm also a composer/songwriter, though haven't been writing as much these days. if i write anything cool i'll be sure to post it here!

🎭 the artist formerly known as 🎭

previous account: @excuuuseme-princess other previous urls: musicdork, sincerely-whelmed, futuremehatesme, @nickplayswhat, @spearfeld, among others, probably

🔍 other places to find me 🔎

tumblr sideblog (N/SFW, seriously be warned): @fadingfast1 twitter: @libromancerfire n/sfw twitter (again...be warned): @whatifitspriv tiktok: @libromancer_fireburst ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkjaden825698

⚔ fandoms/things i like ⚔

Books ���

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Orphan X series by Gregg Hurwitz

Darius the Great is Not Okay / Darius the Great Deserves Better by Adib Khorram

TV shows 📺

Arrowverse (especially Legend of Tomorrow [r.i.p. 😢])

Doctor Who

Travelers

Manifest

Movies 📽

Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse

Love, Simon

Cartoons/Anime 🍞

Yu-Gi-Oh! (DM, GX, 5Ds, ZeXal, Arc-V, currently watching VRAINS and Sevens, have yet to start Go-Rush)

Code Lyoko*

Video Games 🎮

Resident Evil (played all mainline games, some spinoffs, faves are RE2make, Village, and Revelations 2, Ethan Winters is my husband)

Horizon (Zero Dawn, Forbidden West)

Persona (mostly 3 and 5, still need to finish 4, but Kanji is bae)

Fire Emblem (have played all except FE1, 2, 3, and about halfway through 5 but keep losing interest, Engage was FANTASTIC, but Ike is my favorite character)

Zero Escape (999, VLR, ZTD, Sigma Klim is my husband)

Life is Strange (particularly LiS2, but I love them all)

The Legend of Zelda

Golden Sun*

Music Artists 🎼

Paramore

Neck Deep

The Wonder Years*

Other

Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG

*fandoms/media I was once very involved in, but not as much anymore, still enjoy though fandoms/media i consider to be some of my faves/am very active in will (try and remember to) update as new things become relevant to me lmfaoo

[fatehbaz]

patience being tested. being forced by a bizarre unfortunate situation to adhere to university requirement technicality by taking this simple basic elementary "introduction to environmental history" class.

this class is from facilitators/program which do, like, "history of the American frontier" or "history of fishing and hunting" and still basically subscribe to that old-school twentieth-century idealization and celebration of characters like Teddy Roosevelt and reverence for a mythical arc-of-history-bent-towards-justice narrative of the often-clumsy but ultimately-benevolent US federal government and its mission to "save nature" through the miracle of "sustained yield," while heroic federal land management agencies and "heritage" institutions lead to way, staffed by exceptional individuals (appeals to nostalgia for the frontier and an imagined landscape of the American West; ego-stroking appeals to flattering self-image that center the environmentalist or academic). where they invoke, y'know, ideas like "ecology is important because don't you enjoy cross-country skiing in The Woods with your niece and nephew? don't you like hunting and fishing?" which makes it feel like a time capsule of appeals and discourses from the 1970s. and it invokes concept of "untouched wilderness" (while eliding scale of historical Indigenous environmental relationships and current ongoing colonial violence/extractivism). but just ever-so-slightly updated with a little bit of chic twenty-first-century flair like a superficial land acknowledgement or a reference to "labor histories" or "history from below," which is extra aggravating when the old ideologies/institutions are still in power but they're muddying the water and diluting the language/frameworks (it's been strange, watching words like "multispecies" and "Anthropocene" over the years slowly but surely show-up on the posters, fliers, course descriptions, by now even appearing adjacent to the agri-business and resource extraction feeder programs, like a recuperation or appropriation.) even from a humanities angle, it's still, they're talking at me like "You probably didn't know this, but environmental history is actually pretty entangled with political and social events. In fact, we can synthesize sources and glean environmental info from wacky places like workers' rolls in factories, ship's logs, and poetry from the era." and i'm nodding like YEP.

the first homework assignment is respond to this: "Define and describe 'the Anthropocene'. Do you think 'the Anthropocene' is a useful concept? Why or why not?" Respond in 300 words.

so for fun, right now in class, going to see how fast i can pull up discussion of Anthropocene-as-concept solely from my old posts on this microblogging site.

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ok, found some

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I think that the danger in any universal narrative or epoch or principle is exactly that it can itself become a colonizing force. [...] I’m suspicious of the Anthropocene as concept for the very reason that it subsumes so many peoples, nations, histories, geographies, political orders. For that reason, I think ideas like the Anthropocene can be a useful short-hand for a cluster of tangible things going on with the Earth at the moment, but we have to be very careful about how fluid and dynamic ideas become concretized into hegemonic principles in the hands of researchers, policymakers, and politicians. There’s so much diversity in histories and experiences and environmental realities even between relatively linked geographies here in Canada [...]. Imagine what happens when we try to do that on a global scale - and a lot of euro-western Anthropocene, climate change and resilience research risks doing that - eliding local specificities and appropriating knowledge to serve a broader euro-western narrative without attending to the inherent colonial and imperial realities of science and policy processes, or even attending to the ways that colonial capitalist expansion has created these environmental crises to begin with. While we, as a collective humanity, are struggling with the realities of the Anthropocene, it is dangerous to erase the specific histories, power-relations, political orders that created the crisis to begin with. So, I’m glad that a robust critique of the Anthropocene as a concept is emerging.

Text by: Words of Zoe Todd, as interviewed and transcribed by Caroline Picard. “The Future is Elastic (But it Depends): An Interview with Zoe Todd.” 23 August 2016.

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The Great Acceleration is the latest in a series of human-driven planetary changes that constitute what a rising chorus of scientists, social scientists, and humanists have labeled the Anthropocene - a new Age of Humans. [...] But what the Anthropocene label masks, and what the litany of graphs documenting the Great Acceleration hide, is a history of racial oppression and violence, along with wealth inequality, that has built and sustained engines of economic growth and consumption over the last four centuries. [...] The plantation, Sidney Mintz long ago observed, was a “synthesis of field and factory,” an agro-industrial system of enterprise [...]. Plantation legacies, along with accompanying strategies of survival and resistance, dwell in the racialized geographies of the United States’ and Brazil’s prison systems. They surface in the inequitable toxic burdens experienced by impoverished communities of color in places like Cancer Alley, an industrial corridor of petrochemical plants running along the Mississippi River from New Orleans to Baton Rouge, where cotton was once king. And they appear in patterns of foreign direct investment and debt servitude that structure many land deals in the Caribbean, Brazil, and sub-Saharan Africa [...]. [C]limatologists and global change scientists from the University of London, propose instead 1610 as a date for the golden spike of the Anthropocene. The date marked a detectable global dip in carbon dioxide concentrations, precipitated, they argue, by the death of nearly 50 million indigenous human inhabitants [...]. The degradation of soils in the tobacco and cotton-growing regions in the American South, or in the sugarcane growing fields of many Caribbean islands, for example, was a consequence of an economic and social system that inflicted violence upon the land and the people enslaved to work it. Such violent histories are not so readily evident in genealogies that date the Anthropocene’s emergence to the Neolithic Revolution 12,000 years ago, the onset of Europe’s industrial revolution circa 1800, or the Trinity nuclear test of 1945. Sugarcane plantations were already prevalent throughout the Mediterranean basin during the late middle ages. But it was during the early modern era, and specifically in the Caribbean, where the intersection of emerging proto-capitalist economic models based on migratory forced labor (first indentured servitude, and later slavery), intensive land usage, globalized commerce, and colonial regimes sustained on the basis of relentless racialized violence, gave rise to the transformative models of plantations that reshaped the lives and livelihoods of human and non-human beings on a planetary scale. [...] We might, following the lead of science studies scholar Donna Haraway and anthropologist Anna Tsing, more aptly designate this era the Plantationocene. [...] It is also an invitation to see, in the words of geographer Laura Pulido, “the Anthropocene as a racial process,” one that has and will continue to produce “racially uneven vulnerability and death." [...] And how have such material transformations sustained global flows of knowledge and capital that continue to reproduce the plantation in enduring ways?

Text by: Sophie Sapp Moore, Monique Allewaert, Pablo F. Gomez, and Gregg Mitman. "Plantation Legacies." Edge Effects. 22 January 2019. Updated 15 May 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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Geologists and other scientists will fight over [the definition of the beginning start-date of the Anthropocene] in scientific language, seeking traces of carbon dioxide that index the worst offenses of European empire which rent and violated the flesh, bodies, and governance structures of Indigenous and other sovereign peoples in the name of gold, lumber, trade, land, and power. [...] The stories we tell about the origins of the Anthropocene implicate how we understand the relations we have with our surrounds. In other words, the naming of the Anthropocene epoch and its start date have implications not just for how we understand the world, but this understanding will have material consequences, consequences that affect body and land.

Text by: Heather Davis and Zoe Todd. On the Importance of a Date, or Decolonizing the Anthropocene. ACME An International Journal for Critical Geographies. December 2017. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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From Aime and Suzanne Cesaire, C. L. R. James, Claudia Jones, Eduoard Glissant, through Sylvia Wynter, Christina Sharpe, and so many others, critical anticolonial and race theory has been written from the specific histories that marked the Black Atlantic. [...] Glissant also reminds us, secondly, of how cunning the absorptive powers of [...] liberal capitalism are - how quickly specific relations are remade as relations-erasing universal abstractions. [...] This absorptive, relations-erasing universalism is especially apparent in some contemporary discourses of […] liberalism and climate collapse - what some call the Anthropocene - especially those that anchor the crisis in a general Human calamity which, as Sylvia Wynter has noted, is merely the name of an overdetermined and specific [White] European man. […] [T]he condition of creating this new common European world was the destruction of a multitude of existing black and brown worlds. The tsunami of colonialism was not seen as affecting humanity, but [...] these specific people. They were specific - what happened to them may have been necessary, regrettable, intentional, accidental - but it is always them. It is only when these ancestral histories became present for some, for those who had long benefitted from the dispossession [...], that suddenly the problem is all of us, as human catastrophe.

Text by: Elizabeth Povinelli. “The Ancestral Present of Oceanic Illusions: Connected and Differentiated in Late Toxic Liberalism.” e-flux Journal Issue #112. October 2020.

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The narrative arc [of White "liberal humanism"] [...] is often told as a kind of European coming-of-age story. […] The Anthropocene discourse follows the same coming-of-age [...] script, searching for a material origin story that would explain the newly identified trajectory of the Anthropos […]. Sylvia Wynter, W.E.B. DuBois, and Achille Mbembe all showed how that genealogy of [White subjecthood] was [...] articulated through sixteenth- through nineteenth-century [historiographies and discourses] in the context of colonialism, [...] as well as forming the material praxis of their rearrangement (through mining, ecological rearrangements and extractions, and forms of geologic displacements such as plantations, dams, fertilizers, crops, and introduction of “alien” animals). […] As Wynter (2000) commented, “The degradation of concrete humans, that was/is the price of empire, of the kind of [Eurocentric epistemology] that underlies it” (154).

Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. “The Inhumanities.” Annals of the American Association of Geographers, Volume 11, Issue 3. November 2020.

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As Yarimar Bonilla suggests in regard to post-Irma-and-Maria Puerto Rico, “vulnerability is not simply a product of natural conditions; it is a political state and a colonial condition.” Many in the Caribbean therefore speak about the coloniality of disaster, and the unnaturalness of these “natural” disasters [...]. Others describe this temporality by shifting [...] toward an idea of the Plantationocene [...]. As Moore and her colleagues write, “Plantation worlds, both past and present, offer a powerful reminder that environmental problems cannot be decoupled from histories of colonialism, capitalism, and racism that have made some human beings more vulnerable [...].” [W]e see that contemporary uneven socioecologies associated with the rise of the industrial world ["the Anthropocene"] are based [...] also on the racialized denial and foreshortening of life for the sacrificial majority of black, brown, and Indigenous people and their relegation to the “sacrifice zones” of extractive industry. [...] [A]ny appropriate response to the contemporary climate emergency must first appreciate its foundations in the past history of the violent, coercive, transatlantic system of plantation slavery; in the present global uneven development, antiblackness, and border regimes that shape human vulnerability [...] that continues to influence who has access to resources, safety, and preferable ecologies [...] and who will be relegated to the “plantation archipelagoes” (as Sylvia Wynter called them) [...].

Text by: Mimi Sheller. “Thinking Beyond Coloniality: Toward Radical Caribbean Futures.” Small Axe (2021), 25 (2 (65)), pages 169-170. Published 1 July 2021. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

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Indigenous genocide and removal from land and enslavement are prerequisites for power becoming operationalized in premodernity [...]; it was/is a means to operationalize extraction (therefore race should be considered as foundational rather than as periphery to the production of those structures and of global space). [...] Wynter suggests that we […] consider 1452 as the beginning of the New World, as African slaves are put to work on the first plantations on the Portuguese island of Madeira, initiating the “sugar-slave” complex - a massive replantation of ecologies and forced relocation of people […]. Wynter argues that the invention of the figure of Man in 1492 as the Portuguese [and Spanish] travel to the Americas instigates at the same time “a refiguring of humanness” in the idea of race. [...] The natal moment of the 1800 Industrial Revolution, […] [apparently] locates Anthropocene origination in […] the "new" metabolisms of technology and matter enabled by the combination of fossil fuels, new engines, and the world as market. […] The racialization of epistemologies of life and nonlife is important to note here […]. While [this industrialization in the nineteenth century] […] undoubtedly transformed the atmosphere with […] coal, the creation of another kind of weather had already established its salient forms in the mine and on the plantation. Paying attention to the prehistory of capital and its bodily labor, both within coal cultures and on plantations that literally put “sugar in the bowl” (as Nina Simone sings) […]. The new modes of material accumulation and production in the Industrial Revolution are relational to and dependent on their preproductive forms in slavery […]. In 1833, Parliament finally abolished slavery in the British Caribbean, and the taxpayer payout of £20 million in “compensation” [paid by the government to slave owners for their lost "property"] built the material, geophysical (railways, mines, factories), and imperial infrastructures of Britain and its colonial enterprises and empire. [...] A significant proportion of funds were invested in the railway system connecting London and Birmingham (home of cotton production and […] manufacturing for plantations), Cambridge and Oxford, and Wales and the Midlands (for coal). Insurance companies flourished [...]. The slave-sugar-coal nexus both substantially enriched Britain and made it possible for it to transition into a colonial industrialized power […]. The slave trade […] fashioned the economic conditions (and institutions, such as the insurance and finance industries) for industrialization.

Text by: Kathryn Yusoff. "White Utopia/Black Inferno: Life on a Geologic Spike". e-flux Journal Issue #97. February 2019. [Bold emphasis added by me.]

[wishfulsketching]

I am finally graduating BUT don't let that fool you, this is my second degree. Maybe I'll actually get to use this one this time!

It's a whole new kind of torture to have to study 10th grade math for three weeks straight when you're over 30. I decided I never needed that shit well over 10 years ago oof

[sebdoesthings]

I'm so glad i watched Sk8 the Infinity as an adult and not a teen so I didn't turn into one of those annoying idiots who complain about "renga not being canon because they didn't kiss"

[wishchip106]

me trying to explain the reason Charles is bald and walking in the eighties during the og3 xmen films is because the original origins for that was magneto: origins and not first class

when we first meet him in the script he’s literally described as a “chrome dome” 😭

he lost his hair at a young age due to his brain being so powerful 💔😔😿

i’m making a whole other timeline for this, man its all different nothing connects ☹️

this is the writers fault by the way, they can’t keep up consistency

[humanmorph]

"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…" (The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)

so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks! i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18. the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.

anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur

(i recommend listening along while scrolling! + transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)

[yeetushaitus]

MORE ace attorney sketches oooo beware of spoilers ooooo

i might like her a little bit

i came up with like 90% of these while i was half asleep so theyre not very funny but whatever

anwyas calisto yew brainrot!! tbh i like her more when shes yew like idk... as shih-na shes kinda boring ngl and shes not NEARLY as funny in the present even when she does reveal that theyre the same person

the stupid sunglasses gag with lang is hilarious though like what are those 💀

no but actually shes hysterical and her laughter is infectious she literally never fails to make me laugh with her

also i love that it seems to be genuine?? like its not the typical "mwhahahahaha im evil" or "hehehe im planning something devious" like shes actually laughing at edgeworth whatever she finds funny because she genuinely thinks its absurd or hilarious or whatever and i LOVE that as a character quirk

i havent gone back to aai1 let alone i-4 in SO LONGG tbh might get the collection to play aai again(or maybe not.... idk if i can get through i-3 without throwing myself out of a window)

in conclusion bring her back capcom you cowards /j

[genericpuff]

vent post

[fruitsofhell]

I used to be one of those guys when I first joined the Kirby fandom, but everytime I hear a discussion of the series writing that starts with "So the Lore is InSaNe-" and not like, "Kirby has a fun writing style that takes advantage of its cute exterior to tell cool stories that reward player's curiosity and leave lots of room for imagination-" I cringe so goddamn hard.

I kinda just hate that people approach things that encourage investment when they don't expect it as inherently absurd. Like it is fun to joke about how absurd Kirby lore can be, but it really often comes with an air of disrespect or exhaustion rather than like, appreciation that these games are made by people who want to tell interesting stories when they could easily make as much money just making polished enough fluffy kiddy platformers. And when it's not met with exhaustion, it's met with - like I said before - that tone that it's stupid for a series like this TO have devs who care about writing stuff for it. Which is a whole other thing about people not respecting things made to appeal to kiddie aesthetic or tone.

Maybe the state of low-stakes YouTube video essays just blows cause people play up ignorance and disbelief for engagement, but like I STG I hear people use this tone for like actual narrative based games sometimes. Some people don't like... appreciate when a game is made by people who care a shitton in ways that aren't direct gameplay feedback. And they especially don't appreciate it when it comes from something with any sense of tonal dissonance intentional or not.

Anyways, I love games made by insane people. I love games made by teams who feel like they wanna make something work or say something so bad. I love that energy, especially when invested into something that could easily rest on its laurels or which obviously won't be taken seriously. I love this in a lot of classic campy 2000s games, I love this in insanely niche yet passionate fanworks, and I love it in the Kirby series and its writing. Can we please stop talking about it like it's an annoyance or complete joke?

[shima-draws]

Me when my crewmates call me out for unconsciously talking about my son too much:

[pluralhottakes]

I don't see the issue in believing that your alters are multiple people or not, but saying that it's "anti recovery" to believe that they are is genuinely one of the most idiotic things i've heard. i don't see why it's a problem? i know so many systems who consider themselves multiple people, who are doing perfectly fine in healing, without needing to see themselves as just "multiple parts of one person". Alters can be so completely complex, they can be so different that you'd genuinely see them as completely different people, because they are different people to that system. This is coming from a plural who sees their parts more as just different parts of themself, by the way. Believing your alters are just multiple parts of one identity is completely fine, but claiming that it's "anti recovery" for others to believe that they're multiple people is one of the shittest things you could do. Just let people do what they want, there isn't anything wrong with that? I definitely see that systems can quite literally have what is basically multiple fully formed identities, fully formed people.

.

[hplonesomeart]

Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

[transsexula]

"Just ignore how every minority man is treated, because talking about it is basically like saying some women don't experience misogyny"

Never the point of this convo. In fact, you're literally making up a guy to be mad at. Why is it that a different minority talking about their own issues in their own space makes you feel this way? Why is it a minority making their own words to explain something they experience now an attack on you? Is it, perhaps, that you don't understand the experience and therefore project your own understanding of it onto everyone who speaks about it regardless of THEIR actual experiences?

I'll be the first to admit I don't know every fucking experience out there. I gotta trust my trans sisters when they talk about their experiences- same with any other identity I don't understand. Why are trans men not afforded this? We are literally an oppressed minority. Our bodies are constantly regulated and cracked down on and treated as freakshows. I feel like on some level, as trans people, others have to feel it and see it. Right?

Or are we just supposed to stay invisible?

[corviiids]

gushing etc

[museenkuss]

There is something to be said about how isolating having issues relating certain things is. Weight or body image, age, beauty or ugliness, all of these highly sensitive, subjective things. They'll eat at you and you will have to fight SO hard to accept yourself (and those issues - accepting having them is hard in itself), but once you reach out, people will get sick of you very quickly, or will start taking everything you say and projecting it onto themselves, in turn being mad at you for having issues. It's so bonkers.

And I'm not sure what you could do about that, frankly. Because of course, if you struggle with something, someone else talking about their issues with it will hurt you. And also, you (the person who wants to reach out) has to be aware that you might inject your issues into the other person. But what is the solution? Never talking about it, ever, ever, ever.