#i like to talk about myself shut up
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I think it's about time I wrote a proper introduction post
Hey y'all, welcome to my blog! I'm a tumblr veteran but decided to start over on a new account recently. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
🎵 the basics 🎵
nick ~ 28 ~ he/him ~ bi ~ white author ~ musician ~ gamer ~ nerd multi-fandom/shitposting this blog will be (mostly) SFW, but i still would rather not have minors following me. i just prefer interacting with adults, sorry. it's not personal. my likes, however, will be N/SFW, so be warned
my messages and ask box are always open! feel free to hit me up!
more info (including other links, and a list of fandoms/things i like) under the cut
tags: my ramblings | my face
🤩 a bit more about me 🤩
heya! the name's nick. i've been on tumblr since like...2011 or so? i was really big into it in my college years (2012-2017) but after The Great Tumblr Porn Ban of 2017 I've sorta been drifting in an out. When The Great Twitter Debacle of 2022 happened, I decided to migrate back on a new account so I could start fresh.
this account was immediately suspended because of my side-blog. which was a bit too unsafe for work for tumblr's guidelines ig 🙄 not mentioning that they had just recently updated their policy and everything i was posting was PERFECTLY FINE under them but w/e
so i started another one lmao and that's the one that you're looking at right now! my other account has since been restored but at that point I was already situated over here so like. whatever i guess. lol
i'm currently 28, and bisexual. semi-recently out of the closed as bi, actually. for years i identified as gay, but over time i started realizing "actually...i do kinda like girls?" i still identified as "gay" cuz it was easier than saying "so like i'm bi-sexual but mostly homo-romantic but also maybe potentially demi-sexual but only when it comes to real people?" then around 2020 it just kinda clicked with me, and the label of "bisexual" just felt right
anywho you didn't come here for my full life story. here's just a little bit more about me:
i'm a total nerd. i love video games, playing Yugioh, DND (just starting to get into that one), etc. i'm a writer. i've written several fanfics (some of which i'm really proud of, some of which i'm...less), and have a goal of one day publishing a novel (my main genre is YA contemporary with queer themes and characters). i'm a musician. i actually got my bachelor's degree in music (BA in Music). my main instrument is drums/percussion, but i'm learning a bit of guitar and can play a little bit of piano. i'm also a composer/songwriter, though haven't been writing as much these days. if i write anything cool i'll be sure to post it here!
🎭 the artist formerly known as 🎭
previous account: @excuuuseme-princess other previous urls: musicdork, sincerely-whelmed, futuremehatesme, @nickplayswhat, @spearfeld, among others, probably
🔍 other places to find me 🔎
tumblr sideblog (N/SFW, seriously be warned): @fadingfast1 twitter: @libromancerfire n/sfw twitter (again...be warned): @whatifitspriv tiktok: @libromancer_fireburst ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkjaden825698
⚔ fandoms/things i like ⚔
Books 📚
Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli
Orphan X series by Gregg Hurwitz
Darius the Great is Not Okay / Darius the Great Deserves Better by Adib Khorram
TV shows 📺
Arrowverse (especially Legend of Tomorrow [r.i.p. 😢])
Doctor Who
Travelers
Manifest
Movies 📽
Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
Love, Simon
Cartoons/Anime 🍞
Yu-Gi-Oh! (DM, GX, 5Ds, ZeXal, Arc-V, currently watching VRAINS and Sevens, have yet to start Go-Rush)
Code Lyoko*
Video Games 🎮
Resident Evil (played all mainline games, some spinoffs, faves are RE2make, Village, and Revelations 2, Ethan Winters is my husband)
Horizon (Zero Dawn, Forbidden West)
Persona (mostly 3 and 5, still need to finish 4, but Kanji is bae)
Fire Emblem (have played all except FE1, 2, 3, and about halfway through 5 but keep losing interest, Engage was FANTASTIC, but Ike is my favorite character)
Zero Escape (999, VLR, ZTD, Sigma Klim is my husband)
Life is Strange (particularly LiS2, but I love them all)
The Legend of Zelda
Golden Sun*
Music Artists 🎼
Paramore
Neck Deep
The Wonder Years*
Other
Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG
*fandoms/media I was once very involved in, but not as much anymore, still enjoy though fandoms/media i consider to be some of my faves/am very active in will (try and remember to) update as new things become relevant to me lmfaoo
#about me#my ramblings#introduction post#intro post#introducing myself#i like to talk about myself shut up#long post#readmore
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I am finally graduating BUT don't let that fool you, this is my second degree. Maybe I'll actually get to use this one this time!
It's a whole new kind of torture to have to study 10th grade math for three weeks straight when you're over 30. I decided I never needed that shit well over 10 years ago oof
#talking about stuff#I should be excited but I am just tired :D#maybe it will hit later#I will also queue some art but stop the queue for a while#I am starting to feel like a weirdo for drawing everyday#and like maybe I should shut up for a while before I embarrass myself further#everyone has been delightful and nice it's all me that I am feeling like this#I love my toxic yaoi but also I will always carry a little but of stress about how people see me because I'm drawing it hah#anyway yea maybe I'll play more for a while#there's some good bangers in the queue tho no worries
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#aka I always feel super bad about having so many rambly tags#maybe it is super annoying#maybe i just need to be nicer to myself#i can’t tell#i have talked way too much my whole life it’s not like it’s going to stop now#shut up e#blogging#tumblr
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me trying to explain the reason Charles is bald and walking in the eighties during the og3 xmen films is because the original origins for that was magneto: origins and not first class
when we first meet him in the script he’s literally described as a “chrome dome” 😭
he lost his hair at a young age due to his brain being so powerful 💔😔😿
i’m making a whole other timeline for this, man its all different nothing connects ☹️
this is the writers fault by the way, they can’t keep up consistency
#maybe i just need to make this film myself#but like have it as its own solo thing cause it will not fit anywhere#i think i’m the only one on this app that actually talks about magneto: origins actively#AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO’S READ THIS SCRIPT??#WHERE IS EVERYONE???#this movie would be one of my top xmen films ngl#my favorite version of cherik‼️‼️#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#professor x#magneto#wish does not shut up#xmcu#magneto: origins#xmen first class
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"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…" (The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)
so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks! i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18. the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.
anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur
(i recommend listening along while scrolling! + transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)
#road to palisade#road to palisade spoilers#palisade#fatt#friends at the table#gur sevraq#<- yuore everything btw.#long post#and good god. it sure as fuck is#rosa art#the full file for this? that i had to split up? its 30000 pixel tall. thats 218cm#im so proud of this & it was a ton of fun. ooohhh my free floating panels i love them#i posted about my progress (theres some earlier sketches n lineart too) on cohost to be like well.#maybe i wont talk so fucking much on the actual post but noooo i cant shut up#love that for me.shoutout if you read all this#if you find a typo please. dont even mention it#a fun thing about this is that i almost know the intro by heart now. theres like 3 lines i get stuck on but mostly. its all there#ill link the cohost if i reblog this again. personally i think its interesting stuff but i love to hear myself talk abt shit i make soooo#anyways i have art class tomorrow & should sleep soon : ) but im happy im finally able to show this off. it rules sooo much
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MORE ace attorney sketches oooo beware of spoilers ooooo
i might like her a little bit
i came up with like 90% of these while i was half asleep so theyre not very funny but whatever
anwyas calisto yew brainrot!! tbh i like her more when shes yew like idk... as shih-na shes kinda boring ngl and shes not NEARLY as funny in the present even when she does reveal that theyre the same person
the stupid sunglasses gag with lang is hilarious though like what are those 💀
no but actually shes hysterical and her laughter is infectious she literally never fails to make me laugh with her
also i love that it seems to be genuine?? like its not the typical "mwhahahahaha im evil" or "hehehe im planning something devious" like shes actually laughing at edgeworth whatever she finds funny because she genuinely thinks its absurd or hilarious or whatever and i LOVE that as a character quirk
i havent gone back to aai1 let alone i-4 in SO LONGG tbh might get the collection to play aai again(or maybe not.... idk if i can get through i-3 without throwing myself out of a window)
in conclusion bring her back capcom you cowards /j
#ace attorney#ace attorney investigations#ace attorney investigations collection#aai1#aai2#aai1 spoilers#aai2 spoilers#my art#calisto yew#kay faraday#simon keyes#simeon saint#i just need everyone to know that this woman is the only person on my mind 24/7#tbh might start posting my rants that i brain vomit into my random thoughts doc...#i have way too much to talk about and i cant shut up to save my life#is it normal to have a doc to store random thoughts and rants#probably#ooo also i made 2 covers for aai1 and aai2 spoilers!!!#mostly bc i see myself posting a LOT of aai art in the near futuree#very excited about them i love making useful aesthetic type stuff liek that#not that these sketches i did in like 5 minutes are aesthetic because they definitely arent#whatever yk what i mean
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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I used to be one of those guys when I first joined the Kirby fandom, but everytime I hear a discussion of the series writing that starts with "So the Lore is InSaNe-" and not like, "Kirby has a fun writing style that takes advantage of its cute exterior to tell cool stories that reward player's curiosity and leave lots of room for imagination-" I cringe so goddamn hard.
I kinda just hate that people approach things that encourage investment when they don't expect it as inherently absurd. Like it is fun to joke about how absurd Kirby lore can be, but it really often comes with an air of disrespect or exhaustion rather than like, appreciation that these games are made by people who want to tell interesting stories when they could easily make as much money just making polished enough fluffy kiddy platformers. And when it's not met with exhaustion, it's met with - like I said before - that tone that it's stupid for a series like this TO have devs who care about writing stuff for it. Which is a whole other thing about people not respecting things made to appeal to kiddie aesthetic or tone.
Maybe the state of low-stakes YouTube video essays just blows cause people play up ignorance and disbelief for engagement, but like I STG I hear people use this tone for like actual narrative based games sometimes. Some people don't like... appreciate when a game is made by people who care a shitton in ways that aren't direct gameplay feedback. And they especially don't appreciate it when it comes from something with any sense of tonal dissonance intentional or not.
Anyways, I love games made by insane people. I love games made by teams who feel like they wanna make something work or say something so bad. I love that energy, especially when invested into something that could easily rest on its laurels or which obviously won't be taken seriously. I love this in a lot of classic campy 2000s games, I love this in insanely niche yet passionate fanworks, and I love it in the Kirby series and its writing. Can we please stop talking about it like it's an annoyance or complete joke?
#shut the heck up#kirby#kirby lore#fandom#midnight rambles#im quite talkative today cause my rambling bestie is busy#im also bitter cause im too burnt out to make the things i want to properly express my adoration for this series#but i can waffle about it ig#ive been relying on prose and essay ro express myself a lot in leiu of my usual creative outlets...#i always wanted to make a video edsay series about kirby lore with this expressed ethos#maybe i should just start with essay-essays somewhere#still need to replay all the games for that first though#more streams coming up eventually i swear#tag talking#i read a cool analytical article today that had the same tone as a video essay and i was like 'ah thats the origin of the essay part'#so now i wanna explore that world more of article game and media journalism and such
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We should rename adhd to “horrible fuckshit hell disorder” HFHD for short. Who’s with me.
#personal#adhd#I am aware that adhd is probably why im creative and shit I just dont care bc i hate having it#The cons outweigh the pros by sooo much#Im hyperverbal so im extremely annoying to everyone including myself Bc I literally cannot shut up#Until i get mad of course and then suddenly i cant talk at all#rsd sucks shit#My pills make me feel sick so I can’t get comfortable and also they’re appetite suppressants so i lose weight like crazy in a bad way#School is a nightmare#Im so easily distracted#When I have a hyper fixation it takes over my life and personality and makes me unbearable to be around bc thats all i want to talk about#Im socially more bearable when im not hyper fixating but i also feel unfulfilled when I dont have something to be crazy about half the time#Time is not real#i have a nonexistent memory#im always so bored highkey#Things get old so fast#Just horrible horrible disorder to have don’t recommend it to anyone#Btw this is all me MEDICATED#Off meds im literally completely incomprehensible#Not exaggerating
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Me when my crewmates call me out for unconsciously talking about my son too much:
#Aladine: You literally never shut up about him over the past two years. We KNOW#Jinbe: I?? I really talked about him THAT much?? 😳#Me: HE LOVES HIS KID!! HE LOVES LUFFY!!!!#Jinbe really do be like I’ve only had Luffy for a day and a half but if anybody hurt him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself#One Piece#Jinbe#Jimbei#Shima speaks#Also I’m SO happy to see him I missed him so much 😭#Glad he’s finally getting ready to join Luffy
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I don't see the issue in believing that your alters are multiple people or not, but saying that it's "anti recovery" to believe that they are is genuinely one of the most idiotic things i've heard. i don't see why it's a problem? i know so many systems who consider themselves multiple people, who are doing perfectly fine in healing, without needing to see themselves as just "multiple parts of one person". Alters can be so completely complex, they can be so different that you'd genuinely see them as completely different people, because they are different people to that system. This is coming from a plural who sees their parts more as just different parts of themself, by the way. Believing your alters are just multiple parts of one identity is completely fine, but claiming that it's "anti recovery" for others to believe that they're multiple people is one of the shittest things you could do. Just let people do what they want, there isn't anything wrong with that? I definitely see that systems can quite literally have what is basically multiple fully formed identities, fully formed people.
.
#our system despises the “parts of one person” bullshit antis like to spew to invalidate other systems#how another system views its headmates has nothing to do with them#i wish someone would tell us we're encouraging dissociation by seeing ourselves as separated individuals#like we will go off#mind your own damn system and not everyone else's for fuck's sake#hhm i usually see those “parts of one person” people talking about how miserable being a system is#maybe if they treated their headmates like people instead of pieces of people they wouldn't be so damn miserable just saying#i mean if saw myself as a person and some other headmate in my system kept trying to push that#im a broken piece of one person i would raise literal hell and make them hate life until they respect me#again antis need to quit saying what is recovery and what isn't#like shut up you're not the police of how systems work#pluralgang#pluralpunk#endo friendly#plural community#plurality#pro endo#mixed origin system#traumaendo#endogenic safe
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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gushing etc
#i wanna say im always incredibly touched whenever people like and interact with my fic at all#but honestly the thing that's got me the hardest is that after i posted my death note your name au#and then made that extra tumblr post where i just rambled about it for a bit#that post ended up getting more interaction than even the fic post#which absolutely shocked me because i wrote that post like#for myself or for the i thought maybe 2 or 3 people who might be interested in reading it#i really thought it would get like 1 interaction.#it's absolutely crazy to me that anyone let alone that many people were interested enough not only in reading the fic#but in reading what i had to say about it. like idk how to express this without just turning into a fruit gusher#but it really is just fucking humbling#not to fucking whinge but im quite used to being talked over and interrupted in my real life#so thank you very much for caring what i have to say.#it is hard to express what that means.#rookposting#man shut up @ myself
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Ahahaaaa oh my goddd can you not make "ADHD undereating" and "ADHD overeating" into a competition of who has it worse and who has nothing to complain about, that'd be awesome
#im not even going to reply to that person im not gonna argue with someone who clearly is fucking#grading my symptoms on if they're as bad as their#guess what i also feel like fucking shit when i overeat and it causes my body a lot of stress#and it fucks with my hormones and it fucks with my mood#and i live a piece of shit horrible terrible life whenever I can't get myself out of that and somehow#but my brain makes me do it and it's hard to stop and sometimes i have to eat even when im in pain#cause that's the only way i can concentrate on something or the only way that i can stimulate my brain#even though i feel sick and I don't want to do it anymore so maybe shut the fuck up#oh my godddd#fuck that person#oh i would take overeating any day maybe shut the fuck upppp#overeating especially on foods that stimulate the brain well PUTS YOU IN THE STATE OF UNDERNUTRITION JUST LIKE UNDEREATING#YOU IDIOTTTTT#sorry this is so personal to me and someone just went on a tirade on how much they have it worse cause they don't eat#good lord go fuck yourself#that post was just because i never see anyone talk about this i only ever see the other side of the coin and it makes me feel alone
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“Lmao why are you fictionkin are you insane. Imagine thinking you’re a character irl what’s wrong with you” have you considered I can do whatever I want
#lemon man talks#Have you considered I didn’t choose to be fictionkin also#Not my fault! Hope that helps#And also there’s nothing wrong with it + it’s harmless + not your problem + I’m mentally ill + shut up#People try not to shame others for their identity impossible challenge#This is why I have so much trouble accepting myself and feel embarrassed about being things I don’t have control over#I would be crucified if my irl friends knew I’m fictionkin#I would be bullied to death dude#They accuse each other of being therian as a bullying thing like. Um I’m not therian but I don’t think that’s funny#Just a thought! Don’t shame people for their identity#All of those things you’re calling cringe and shaming are harmless and you’re being an asshole
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okay but have y'all considered
obi-wan kenobi
#obi wan kenobi#have you considered. HIM.#that's it that's the post#thank you for coming to my ted talk#listen if you told me ten years ago that i'd be completely utterly obsessed with a star wars character i would've laughed in your face#i had. very complicated feelings about star wars in high school#(ie. we played it in orchestra and it was so terrible that i couldn't bring myself to listen to any of the soundtrack afterwards)#and now i'm like. obi-wan is so central to my life#which sounds ridiculous out of context but it just makes so much sense for me#anyways didn't mean to write an essay in the tags#i'm gonna shut up now#except i'll never shut up about obi-wan LOL#*drops mic*
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