#‘fuck it we ball’ mentality saves lives tbh

[hplonesomeart]

Stabby stabby time 😌✨

(Original meme audio source can be found via this YouTube video!!)

[immunologies]

look at my land developer dawg i’m going to jail 😫

lmao hiiii everyone! i’m anwar (not hadid) + always writing for underused model fcs but anywhooo — thank god for reopening bc i was supposed to app during the first launch but i was on vacation so my activity would’ve flopped real bad BUT… I’M HERE NOW… a lil jet lagged still but fuck it we ball :’) i present to you: iida!

navigate: general info / about / pinterest

sparknotes!

tw / suicide

okawara yosuke, 33 (proud twink death survivor btw he left that long haired era behind in his mid 20s), born and raised in fukuoka prefecture so you know he’s a bearer of the masculinized stereotype that kyushu men have but surprisingly his ego isn’t as fragile as i would expect it to be — i wonder why?

lower middle class to middle class financial status for the entirety of his childhood / it’s one of those things where as a kid you’re like “well, this is it” because you’re not fully aware that your family doesn’t have money on top of being surrounded by other kids who, in return, also come from families without bands so it is what it is / it can’t be that bad when your necessities have always been met

tbh there’s not much to write home about in terms of his childhood as in it was fortunately(?) uneventful for the most part despite starting off rocky: his mom was barely twenty when she birthed him, two freshly married young adults rushed into the hard-bitten chaos of childrearing, do they resent bro in absence of trying to enjoy the beginnings of their married life? probably, but it doesn’t matter by the time his younger brother is born, soo la voo or whatever the french be saying (tiktok reference btw if ur uncool)

yosuke is your average kyushu boy growing up: he spends his time outside rather than inside with his head in the books (it’s the same shit his teachers would always say about his lack of potential, ie: he’s lazy), has boyish fights with his younger and complete opposite of a younger brother, tries his best not to piss off his stay-at-home mom and stay away from his chronically emotionally constipated aviation mechanic drunk for a dad, you get the idea

…UNTIL the voices started to become apparent more than ever and he tells his mother who dismisses it but is reminded of her grandfather who unalived himself from alleged schizophrenia but nobody in her family knows if he ever got tested for it (y’know, if it was a genetic hereditary thing) or if it was just the aftermath of unresolved trauma/ptsd because grandpa fought in the war (you know which war) NOBODY KNOWS A GODDAMN THING. except yosuke as a child hated going to see his relatives in the far village/countryside on his mom’s hick side

lmao but when yosuke told his mom “yeah girly pop dad’s gonna have a shitty liver if he doesn’t stop drinking so much in the next couple years or so” is when she drops his ass off at a mental health facility so she definitely prioritizes her man over a kid that she wasted her 20s raising! (she’s definitely an unevolved libra no shade to yall sorry) but anywho! he’s diagnosed at 17, life is looking brighter(?), but his “schizophrenia” isn’t something talked about much at home because let’s be serious. it’s fucking abe shinzo’s japan at the time, we do not talk about shit like this

yosuke goes on to carry two jobs after high school because his parents didn’t save a college tuition fund for his lazy, non-academically inclined ass so it’s up to him to be the architect of his future / he’s psyched about entering the aviation department of kyoto university after working his ass off by trying to build a humble living but somebody’s bored and filthy rich daughter from a zainichi korean family comes into his life and what does he do? say goodbye to the ol’ pilot dream and traps this woman so he won’t ever have to worry about money like his family did

mind you he actually had love for the old girl! but he’s a gemini and gemini men get bored when you’re not their outstanding type or half as witty or clever as he may be. he knows that he’s settling for what poor lee jiyoung can do for him so after dating in college, yosuke goes on to marry the woman but never goes on to tell her about his “schizophrenia” because he’s scared that it’ll ruin his marriage (spoiler alert: it did)

so uh *scratches head and turns the page* they end up divorcing because his condition worsened as a result of his body becoming “immune” to the medications because he never had schizophrenia in the first place (ie: iida canon) — and he tried saving the relationship for the sake of his position at tk group, he really did, but at the end of the day he’s just some penniless, opportunistic man who failed to completely use up his wife’s beneficiaries. but again, he’s a gemini man who’s good at playing the part of using his “mental health” as a crutch of their failed marriage instead of being exposed for taking advantage of his ex-wife financially

(trust me he’d rather be that Type of Shitty instead of portrayed as the Exploitative Type of Shitty because it gets some pity points on his end. believe the scheme!)

so now? okawara yosuke takes up the tk group’s little passion project proposal with goero because it’s a chance at redemption. he needs to prove one way or another that he’s worthy of his job, that he’s the right man for it, his undying loyalty to the corp (questionable :3), and he’s taken the more political and diplomatic approach of gravitating/winning the trust or appeal to goero’s inhabitants instead of the founding families ‘cause his coworker’s already doing that anyways — he understands his shortcomings as a foreigner (more so as a japanese guy telling yall what to do with the land so goero can prosper financially and commodity-speaking for trade.. and commerce..) so if he can strengthen his morale to the people even if it doesn’t mean the quota won’t be met — yosuke would prefer that for the sake of ethics. he will promise the residents of goero that much: business or not.

that is all. i think. :-) i’ll be yapping for specifics on discord if needed be

personality!

likes to think of himself as an ambivert over being written off as an extrovert which is kinda true? despite being a professional yapper with those he’s suuuuper comfortable with, he finds that people who don’t match or vibe with him tire him out very quickly / genuinely a very friendly person and is emotionally inhibited probably as a result of his career where logic/numbers/analytics are concerned so yosuke prefers to focus on reason over the “possibilities” … even tho he would like to be that optimistic / isn’t one to have an extreme temper, but can be prone to outbursts if incompetence is in question / really. really. hates the notion of being black-or-white on many matters as life usually puts him in the grey area so. u know. atm doesn’t have any ulterior motives because he doesn’t have it in him anymore to be evil or whatever. he ran out of plans. just trying do the right thing from here on out, so, let him help you! bro’s probably a lawful neutral man i know i’m sorry for being boring :/ c’est la vie

connections!

i prefer brainstorming over anything and i’m down for just about everything so hit me

[liebgirl]

now that we’ve been sitting on it for four months i need to rank the tortured poets department for real… it means nothing to rank an album two days after it comes out like that’s pointless fr let’s take this seriously

guilty as sin. this is an insane song. unfortunately i read a book the week this album came out and this song is permanently attached to that book in a small part but as we all know i did my absolute best to remain chill neutral and only weird about tsc at the time of this album drop so it all balanced out in the end and none of the songs are particularly associated with anything cringe. except two. but not this one i only brought up the book because it’s a little bit associated. you understand. the song is a slay of epic proportions on its own of course. i’ve mentally made this one about so many fictional guys it’s crazy… we have fun huh

my boy only breaks his favorite toys. this one was my instant favorite she’s not going anywhereeeee

but daddy i love him. some people don’t understand it but i do… i love her…

the alchemy. honestly? who are we to fight the alchemy…. literally!!!!

the albatross. sort of like who’s afraid of little old me if it was a song i liked more!

so high school. what more is there to say than truth dare spin bottles you know how to ball i know aristotle brand new full throttle touch me while your bros play grand theft auto it’s true swear scouts honor you knew what you wanted and boy you got her brand new full throttle you already know babe…

florida. cunty! florence + the machine!

the black dog. aforementioned two songs. well we knew this would be one. like we knew that the whole time. what could i possibly have done to save this one… genuinely what could i possibly have done. we saved the album in time i know but i mean. we all knew this track was a goner. nothing to be done. it’s a great song though like genuinely let’s be honest… one out of 31 is a great ratio. april 18th me was expecting a much worse percentage tbh

down bad. i just like it :)

who’s afraid of little old me. mildly over saturated. but kinda deserved the hype she slays

fresh out the slammer. one of aforementioned two songs that kinda got ruined. this song is about cbs drama fire country forever there’s nothing to be done. it’s not a huge loss this song is a little mid if i’m being honest. i think it’s too short i don’t fuck with it heavily

fortnight. my husband is cheating!! i wanna kill him!!!!

the prophecy. song that makes you cry…

the smallest man who ever lived. crazy ass bridge. rest of the song. well.

i can fix him (no really i can). i like that this song title is formatted like a fanfiction title that’s a lyric to a taylor swift song…

imgonnagetyouback. like. cute fun song sure yes. cannot get it out of my head that me personally if i had asked for writing credits from olivia rodrigo on a song that sounded nothing like my song, i personally would not have released this. me personally…

how did it end. crazy song that makes you go damn her life suckssss for real… yikes!

i can do it with a broken heart. not even a bad song it’s just the popular one with swifties and i hear it all the time without my consent.

the tortured poets department. can i be honest. sometimes taylor swift writes songs that would be awesome if not for one utterly batshit ridiculous lyric that embarrasses me so bad i can’t even fuck with the song. this has happened many times she’s an embarrassing celebrity to like everyone knows this. it’s not even the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist” that’s actually fine. it’s what comes directly after that. “i scratch your head you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever” taylor. 😐 i can’t. i can’t even talk about this actually. also i can’t stand the lucy dacus and jack antonoff name drop lyrics at all like taylor please stop embarrassing me….

i do not actively listen to any of the other ones anymore so i just didn’t include them because why would i rank songs i don’t even listen to let’s take this seriously… they’re fine. the only one i might describe as a song i actively dislike is chloe or sam or sophia or marcus. like i do not care for that one at all

[meteormoss]

Tbh we haven't really found any songs that fit Skleo and its just like 😔

Well we kinda do, but it's more of a song we tend to give to a bunch of our favorite ships because jffmd good song, good fucking song. We mainly assign it to Cledubs & Impdubs (mainly Impdubs), but tbh it kinda also fits Skleo? Idk but hehehe

If you wanna know, it's 'Hundred Day' by The Bengsons. It's a very upbeat song, with a kinda sad undertone? We haven't listened to the full album/musical yet, but the idea is a pair falling in love and having a relationship while only having 100 days to live.

Talking more, yeah that's a very Impdubs song right there, but trust me bro...

I might be second thinking just a teeny, tiny bit, but fuck it it we ball

0(-(

Listen, I attempted /lh /lh

I am saving this for when i have the mental space for new music, because i am trusting you. I havent found any songs yet either but hey, maybe i'll come up with just a au vibes and assign it to skleo and fuck it we ball a new multichapter story to write.

[ooops-i-arted]

May I ask about your thoughts on Rise of Skywalker?

You may indeed because I have Feelings and need Catharsis.  I’ll just start with general thoughts and put specific spoilers under the cut.

Edit:  I had a cut but it did not work??  Spoilers are marked in bold!!

I mean, it exceeded my expectations.  Of course, my expectations were “It can’t be worse than TLJ, right?  Who am I kidding, of course it could be” so…take that with a grain of salt.  I wasn’t bored out of my mind like I was during TLJ at least.

It felt like watching fanfiction tbh.  Like someone watched The Force Awakens and couldn’t wait for the rest so wrote their own Episode 8 and 9, but you can’t find where they posted the Episode 8 so you just have to go off context clues.  And it’s uh, typical fanfic quality but it’s still vaguely interesting enough to keep your attention even though it’s not your ideal standard of fic.

Also there is a plot hole/ass pull/that’s not how the Force works moment literally every ten minutes.  Like it loops around from being annoying to incredible to straight up ballsy.  If you are annoyed by that sort of thing, hoo boy, prepare yourself now because you’re gonna need it.

Look I feel mostly okay/somewhat positively right now but that’s because I want to try and get something positive out of it.  I wanted more from it than I got.  It was not good and I know it.  We deserved better.  Rey and Finn deserved better.  Han and Luke and Leia deserved better.  Kylo deserved worse.

John Williams did not have to go that hard with the soundtrack but he did and that’s why he’s the best composer ever.  It’s stunning and more than we deserve.

--SPOILERS AHEAD, DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPECIFIC SPOILERS--

So when I said “straight up ballsy” with ass pulls I mean literally the first thing you see is “Palpatine’s not dead!” and then they never really explain it.  It’s incredible.  You have literal billions you could spend on budget and like….you write typical fanfic quality work.  Like I can’t even be mad, it just so incredulous I just get stuck in the wow stage and can’t move on to annoyance let alone anger yet.

At least they don’t do my boy Palpatine dirty.  He’s there.  He’s evil.  He’s the biggest ham in the galaxy.  He says “Do it!”  I am a simple girl with simple wants and this, at least, satisfied me.

The new trio actually ACTS AS A TRIO!!!  It’s honestly what made parts of this movie watchable.  Rey, Finn, and Poe are friends and they trust each other and they work together.  They don’t always agree but they are a team.

I for one love Threepio’s endless bitching and he gets lots of good lines.  ALSO HE DOESN’T DIE, THANK THE FORCE.  HE’S OKAY AT THE END!

You know who else doesn’t die??  Lando and Chewie!!  I was very concerned but they make it!

There’s no Mando cameo that I saw so I like to think that Mando is happily raising baby Yoda safely somewhere were he can eat lots of frogs.  Aunt Cara and Grandpa Kuiil visit on weekends.  (Alternatively, Mando got Lando’s call and just answered “Can’t you see the baby on board sign, do I look like I can go into battle???” then hands the baby a real toy that isn’t a choking hazard.)

Finn does not train as a Jedi because no reason but is blatantly Force-sensitive, operating on “a feeling” several times like Jedi are explicitly shown to do in other films.  John Boyega and Finn deserved so much better.

Especially because every single Rey/Finn scene is Finn supporting Rey, believing in her, helping her even though she’s struggling mentally a huge amount through the entire film.  There is so much friendship and trust there (and definitely a strong case for Finnrey) and it’s awesome.

It especially contrasts the fact that every single scene between Rey and Kylo is rapey, creepy, assault-y.  Rey is literally being assaulted by Kylo mentally and physically.

If you’re reading spoilers I assume you want to know…. there is a Reylo kiss.  A dry, bland, chemistry-less Reylo kiss that was so forgettable I couldn’t even be that mad about it, because the film acts like it never happened after.

But I’m still mad because I will never, as long as I live, remember refusing to hope or believe that the new films would have a girl be the main character.  And I’ll never ever forget looking up at the big screen on TFA night, in my Rey costume, watching her pick up that lightsaber and be the hero!  There was a Jedi on the screen who looked like me!  A Jedi who was a girl just like me!  And if I, a grown-ass 26-year-old woman felt that way, can you imagine how little girls watching that movie must’ve felt??  And now those same little girls watched Rey kiss the man who continuously stalked, harassed, and abused her.  Fuck whoever approved that.  May every Lego find your feet.

But I refuse to let the trilogy take Rey from me.  I love her, and if nothing else, she is the protagonist again.  She’s driven and proactive.  She wants to do the right thing but struggles to do it and it’s very human of her.  She may have incredible power but she doubts herself and wants to check herself.  But at the same time she also has kickass fight moves, is daring and badass.  So I got that, at least.  I adore her and she deserved so much better.

(Don’t get me wrong, Finn did too and I am definitely mad little black boys don’t get to see themselves as a Jedi hero onscreen, but Rey is really personal to me.)

Kylo is awful.  They don’t have the balls to make him a full villain but his ~redemption~ is weak and not really justified.  Every time he comes on screen he just drains any interest out of the film.  And he takes FOREVER to finally die.

The whole theater burst into laughter at his death scene though.  It wasn’t tragic at all, it was stupid.  Vindication tastes so sweet.

The worst thing though is that Leia dies to save him.  This greasy-ass womp rat is literally the reason the OT trio is dead.  They all died because of him.  Disney threw away Han, Leia, and Luke and all we got was fucking Kylo Ren.

Also they retcon “Leia trained as a Jedi the whole time!” but she puts away her saber because she had a vision about it being involved in the death of her son.  So not only does Leia die for Kylo, we never see her as a Jedi because of him either.

Although Leia training Rey was actually really cool, as was her having a saber.  (You know what would’ve been cooler?  Besides the Thrawn trilogy?  Actually seeing her as a Jedi.)

I don’t have a problem with Rey taking on the Skywalker name personally.  If Han, Luke, and Leia were in-character the whole time they totally would’ve adopted her and raised her to grow beyond her roots as Palpatine’s grandchild.  And she was positively impacted by Luke and Leia Skywalker so it felt like a spiritual adoption to me?  But ymmv and I’m definitely biased.  As I mentioned before, Rey has a special place in my heart and I’d originally hoped she’d be a Skywalker or Solo.

The worst part of this movie is that is that Palpatine has, presumably, canonically fucked.

Although honestly I don’t buy that, it seems way more likely he cloned himself and raised one as his son (”Hmm, that Jango had the right idea”) because we know how much he loves cloning.

Tl;dr I watched it once and that was Enough.  I’ll buy the soundtrack for sure, and a Black Series RoS Rey to go with my other two Reys, but probably not the DVD.  I’ve seen it and it’s time to return to obsessing over the Mandalorian and Baby Yoda again.

[otome-reviews]

SLBP “The Dark Side of the Moon” Event Review

Confession time: when it’s battle event season in SLBP, I don’t even bother opening the app nowadays 😂 Anyway, here are my thoughts on the latest ninja event, meant to serve as a prequel to the other ninja event (the sex one) we had a few weeks ago!

In Kyoichiro’s story, the ex-ninja has to come to terms with the fact that MC is still an active ninja with ninja-ish obligations. Except he doesn’t really, and instead gets cold and upset when Nobunaga has MC create a specialized poison for ninjas and she follows through (“You aren’t a child. You’ll be fine without me around”). Not a good look, dude. He does redeem himself - kind of - when he saves MC from the ever villainous Sakuya later, I guess, but, still. In the end he “helps” MC realize she wants to negotiate a better position with Nobunaga and he promises to assist, except we never get to see him actually do that because the route ends on an admittedly cute seduction scene instead.

There were TONS of stupidly cute scenes between Kyoichiro and MC in this ES, but tbh I still found it really frustrating, especially given what he pulls in this event’s sequel. Like...he promises to help MC not have to be a poison ninja, but if we look at his future actions, he then totally sabotages her efforts to find a less shitty boss in the form of Shingen?! Ughhhh. Not to mention how completely awful he was to MC when she was just doing her job as a ninja in this ES. Kyoichiro was way too hot and then cold in this story for my liking, and I personally found his emotional strong-arming of MC to be completely unattractive. If he’s gonna emotionally manipulate his girlfriend into doing what he wants, he should at least try to have the charm to go along with it like Hideyoshi, ffs! Overall I suspect a lot of people will find this story sweet, especially with all the cute and seductive lines, but I really disliked it. ​

Personal enjoyment: 2/10

The ever-dramatic Hanzo has to go back to Hattori village to deal with some political unrest (he’s the future chief) in his ES, and poor MC literally cannot handle his impending absence. Doesn’t help that Hanzo doesn’t seem to know when (or if) he’s coming back, and MC doesn’t have the balls to ask if he’ll miss her or not. Girl please! Anyway, turns out this forced separation was all part of evil Sakuya’s grand plan, and when MC tries to leave Mikawa for her own safety she falls right into the guy’s trap, gets chased around for days, and in the end it’s up to Hanzo to save her and bring her home! Now why MC didn’t just make a big loop back to Mikawa after realizing she was being chased we’ll never know... In any case, Yandere!Hanzo comes out in full force, and it’s, uh, something else. After dragging MC to the room and gifting her with a hickey in the creepiest/sexiest way possible, he leaves her with this lovely Hanzo-ism: “I shall not forgive you for leaving on your own again.” Because of course. 😂

That creepy/sexy ending bugs me way less than one might think (actually I liked it). Hot yet fucked up is Hanzo’s signature style, after all! That said, I didn’t really love the earlier part of this story. For starters, Hanzo was a total ass to my boy Kiyohiro, referring him to as an “it.” Bro. Also, he totally should’ve given MC more clarity regarding how to be safe in Mikawa in his absence! Or, maybe it’s Kiyohiro’s fault for being vague about his orders, who knows. I’m also not hugely fond of how useless MC seemed in this story. In any case, it takes a lot for me to not give a Hanzo route a 10, but this plot was just too annoying to read for me to fully enjoy. Full props to Hanzo for his amazing quotes and off the charts sexiness though! (“Once I might have lived with the thought of you dying somewhere without me knowing, but it is now more than I can bear. I suppose I must at last name this obsession I have formed with you as love.”)

Personal enjoyment: 7/10

Genya’s route is an adventure. Saku’s been tasked with finding and killing an old friend and Iga fugitive, and in the meanwhile, there’s been a weird mental contagion spreading from the pleasure district that Kojuro would like MC to help heal. Both MC and Genya end up doing a fair amount of scouting around the brothels - even though, as Genya rightfully points out, it’s wayyy dangerous for MC, and her poor spying skills almost gets them in trouble at some point! In the end, Genya gets proof that the Iga guy has been responsible for the mental weirdness. He works with MC to set up a trap: he pretends to capture MC and offer her to Iga guy as a test subject, and then surprise cuts the guy down, helping MC get the info she needs to create a remedy while sparing Saku from an unpleasant mission in the process!

I love how action-packed this ES was! ^_^ I’m not usually big on jealousy as a plot device, but one of my favorite parts of the story was definitely when Genya pretended to reassure a madly jealous MC after she crashed his meeting with the Iga guy in order to hide her face (“C’mon, don’t cry. I’m not here ‘cause I’m messin’ around with other women, okay?”)! Lol. Overall, I thought Genya was in fine form in this story: sexy, flirtatious, loving, just the right amount of protective... 😍 Anyways, this ES really highlights the fact that even a “simple” story line that’s well executed can be really enjoyable!

Personal enjoyment: 9/10

What did you all think of this latest event? :)

[twoofcups]

captaindog replied to your post

“captaindog replied to your post “i can’t FUCKING wait for halloween...”

Honestly any! I’m always particularly hungry for ghosts and monsters but I like pretty much anything except shock torture stuff (like saw or audition)

honestly i Hate torture porn so much like...it sucks and it’s boring but i can break down a list! most, if not all, of these have very few jump scares because i fucking hate jump scares.  sadly i don’t have a lot of “the classics” on here because i JUST started being able to stomach gore, and a lot of classic horror movies are like ... incredibly gory so i still need to watch them. 

COMEDIES - horror comedies are honestly one of my favorite genres. most of these aren’t too scary, but they’re all very good. 

jennifer’s body- peak 2000s culture. we weren’t ready for this movie then, but we sure as hell are now. monster: demons. 

shaun of the dead - a STAPLE in british comedy and in british horror. monster: zombies.

little evil - a really heartwarming story about a real estate agent trying to bond with his new stepson, who is the spawn of satan. 1000/10 the most pure movie i’ve ever seen. monster: demons and cults. 

what we do in the shadows: aka queer eye for the vampire guy. it’s not really scary, but obviously it has spooky themes!!! monster: vampires. 

tucker and dale vs. evil: a classic story of misunderstandings, where classic horror stereotypes are analyzed from the other end. monster: some dumbass college kids. 

zombieland - an american CLASSIC. definitely a must-see for new horror fans. monster: zombies

housebound - very witty and creepy. makes you laugh but also feel a sense of unease. monster: ???? 

the addams family & addams family values - not scary, but definitely spooky and zany. i think this was really like...my intro to horror. i used to watch these movies over and over again in like...first grade and they’re v dear to my heart. i was wednesday addams for halloween in 4th grade and everyone thought i was a pilgrim and i was Enraged. morticia and gomez adopt me challenge. monster: DEBBIE. 

practical magic - because who doesn’t love cute little witchy romcoms???? we need more of them. where are they. monster: some dick ex boyfriend and witchphobia. 

HISTORICAL - period horror movies really butter my eggroll. they’re just really fun and they always have an added sense of creepiness depending on the era 

the conjuring series (the conjuring, the conjuring 2, annabelle, annabelle: origins, and the nun) - these films go balls to the wall because they’re based on the true accounts of ed and lorraine warren, a demonologist couple who performed exorcisms in the 50s-60s. obviously things are dramatized, but knowing that they supposedly happened adds an extra flair of creepiness. monster: demons and ghosts. era: 50s and 60s. 

bram stoker’s dracula - apparently, keanu reeves and wynona rider accidentally got married filming this and have just like been married for 25 years without realizing it. monster: vampires. era: 1800s? i think??? 

crimson peak - this movie is like the DEFINITION of slow burn horror. its attention to little details creates such an amazing build up, and then it goes balls to the fucking wall at the end. ALSO guillermo del toro’s ghost designs are so innovative and creepy. monster: ghosts. era: 1910s. 

the awakening - one of my FAVORITE historical thrillers of like...all fucking time. a woman who makes a living off of debunking spiritualists is asked to investigate a boy’s boarding school that’s dealing with a ghost problem. shit gets VERY real. monster: ghosts???? era: 1920s. 

the woman in black - oof this has EVERYTHING you want from a gothic horror movie. she has the vibe. she has the range. she’s a little slow moving, but not any more so than any other period drama. monster: ghosts. era: 1800s. 

pride and prejudice and zombies - the bitch goes OFF. literally just a retelling of pride and prejudice, but better, because there’s zombies. lena heady once again takes on her most famous role as That Petty Bitch. era: regency england (1770s ish?). monster: zombies. 

the witch - WIG !! this bitch goes off!! another historical slow burn, but this one really isolates you with its use of olde english. you feel unsettled by the vibe, but also because you feel like you’re in a different world and you don’t belong. monster: you’ll see. era: early colonial america like the 1600s 

FOREIGN - these movies left me SNATCHED from across the fucking globe. i need to watch more tbh 

train to busan - one of the best and most claustrophobic zombie movies i’ve ever seen. i highly, highly recommend it!! it just goes balls to the wall. monster: zombies.  language: korean 

the orphanage - up there with little evil on my list of pure horror movies. the ending made me cry happy tears. a very intriguing ghost-kid story done right. monster: ghosts. language: spanish. 

dead snow - love zombies??? hate nazis??? this is the movie for you. just like 2 hours or smth like that of good old fashioned nazi killing. also has a comedic edge to it. monster: zombie nazis. language: norwegian

les diaboliques - a black and white CLASSIC, and a mind-bending story of psychological manipulation and murder. so good that hitchcock himself said he wished he’d made it. language: french. era: released in 1955

PSYCHOLOGICAL - they just...fuck with your brain and really make you think 

the purge series - the purge series gets a lot of shit because it APPEARS as a hobbsian “people are naturally evil without order” fantasy, but it’s actually the complete opposite. the purge series is about a malicious government that creates a system of state-sponsored violence, where the wealthy + white are usually the ones perpetuating the violence, while poor people, people of color, and other minorities have to stick together to survive. basically the moral is that capitalism and wealth result in a lack of empathy. it’s VERY politically driven. monster: rich white people. 

get out - THE most innovative, mind-bending thriller of this fucking ERA. a fascinating, gut-churning investigation of racism in the modern age. . it’s just jaw-dropping. phenomenal. incredible. monster: rich white people (again). 

gerald’s game - HEAVY trigger warning for CSA, i’m gonna be up front with that. a woman is taken to a cabin by her husband on a romantic getaway. they attempt to do some freaky bdsm bullshit, and he dies of a heart attack while she’s handcuffed to the bed. she has to use her trauma, her hallucinations, and mental illness in order to save herself. monster: inner demons . 

MORE FAVORITES: 

world war z - just like...the most inventive and well-researched zombie movie i’ve ever seen. they hired real contortionists and dancers to play the zombies, and researched a virus found among ants that creates a zombie like effect. a very interesting and fast-paced take on the zombie narrative. also, those fuckers can RUN. monster: zombies. 

the babadook - gay icon. need i say more? (warning: a dog does die :( ) monster: depression. 

TV

the walking dead -admittedly i watched the first five seasons in a month and haven’t watched it since, but it’s phenomenal. monster: zombies and the governer. PEAK southern gothic. alignment: edgy bastard. 

ash vs evil dead - the goriest, crudest, and most disgusting thing i’ve ever seen, BUT if you can handle a ton of blood, guts, and other fluids, it’s really enjoyable. recommend watching the evil dead trilogy first, but you don’t have to as long as you know the premise. alignment: dumbass bastard. monster: zombie demons i guess? 

lucifer - not particularly horror, but still a paranormal show that’s here for a good time. the devil gets bored of being the devil and decides to solve crimes in LA. monster: i mean the devil i guess. alignment: edgy thot 

american horror story: oof this was where my real passion for horror started in high school!!! each season is different, but i highly reccommend the odd numbered seasons: murder house (season 1), coven (season 2), and hotel (season 5). asylum (season 2) is good too, but you don’t need to waste your time on seasons 4 or 6. i couldn’t get through season 7 because there was too much stuff about my phobia. alignment: edgy bitch. monster: EVERYONE. 

AND THERE IT IS !! a full, comprehensive guide for starter horror fans!!! i’m sorry this is so long kdjglkfdj i just really love this stuff. 

[snowmuttgetsweird]

Zero-to-Sixty

CW Kink, Sex Mention, Money problems

We're going zero-to-sixty here. You might learn things about me you don't wanna know. I might talk about stuff I don't even necessarily feel comfortable talking about, but I gotta process somehow, right? So let's get weird.

I want a pump toy so bad.

If you used to follow my old Tumblr BEFORE Twitter you already know some of my kinks/interests. I'm into ball stretching, but since I lived with my mom and step dad at the time, it wasn't really feasible to pursue those interests. Same for pumping- I really, really wanna get a cylinder or two (I'd love a LongJohnny to pump my nuts and a cylinder dedicated to my dick), but the living situation wasn't really accommodating- you know, discretion with shipping, space, privacy without interruption, etc.

Now that I AM in a living situation where I can indulge those interests, I don't have the money to afford the gear! I'm pinching pennies just to make rent, and my roommate basically pays all our utilities and food solo while I feel like a destitute, mooching loser. I'm by FAR the lowest earner among my IRL friend group- it's REALLY embarrassing, and I basically can't hang out with them at all outside of the house because anything they wanna do takes money I don't have, so I don't even really socialize with the friends I already have. Like, I'd love to go out to eat, I'd love to go to the mall, I'd love to go to a cool ritzy island for the weekend, I'd love to go to a convention, but what the fuck am I gonna do when I get there without any money to spend?

What's worse is the initial move to Washington was meant to be kinda bare bones because I was moving into my roommate's apartment for a little while, and THEN we were going to move to our new apartment together so I could help him move his stuff, and it didn't make sense for me to bring a lot to move, so I was gonna go BACK to my mom's place in like, January 2022 to pack up the rest of my stuff in a POD and have it shipped back to the new place, but it just kinda never happened cause I wanted to try to stabilize my earnings from art before I made a big purchase like that, so here I am in February 2023, and my ball weights and all the rest of my stuff is still in Arizona! At least then I had savings. Now because I didn't make any money for, like, the first year of doing art, my savings are COMPLETELY depleted, and I'm so broke that I can't afford to go back for the rest of my stuff, or even pay for my mom to ship it out for me. She would do it herself if I asked, bless her heart, but I'm not gonna saddle her with that bill. Unfortunately that also means that there's a room of her home that's dedicated to just storing all my stuff that she can't really use for anything else, so I'm a burden no matter what I do. Like, I'm not even THERE anymore and I'm still a burden- to her in AZ and to my roommate and friends in WA. I'm just plain not making enough money, and that doesn't change no matter what I do.

It's frustrating. I'm still happy that I get to do art for a living, and I'm REALLY happy I'm not doing customer service anymore, but I dunno. My mom's got an unused room just full of my junk, my roommate has to worry about whether or not I can make rent or eat that month, and I'm desperately trying to balance my needs with my wants. Like, I'm basically in survival mode, but still trying to do what I can for my mental health.

Maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I shouldn't be thinking of my health or mental health or interests or decompressing or any of that. Maybe I should be doing a day job AND art? I mean, it's not like every second I work is paid- I only have so many commissions at a time, so maybe there's just a lot of unpaid deadtime in my day that should be filled in with a job, and then I just come home and get straight back to work on art. But when I think about going into customer service again (I don't know what else I would be qualified for tbh) and dealing with applications and interviews and shit, I freak out and shut down.

I dunno, life sucks. I just wanna stretch my balls, man.

[onweedrothe1972-blog]

G 2 years later, I realize that though the product is balling up as I rubbed the balls around it was very gently stimulating my skin to slough off some of the SF. I don use it the standard way though. Here what I do.I apply Philosophy Purity Made Simple to my face and rub it in.Without rinsing off, I apply the Secret Key Lemon D Toc on top. Completely feel the same way. Michael was a constant in F1, you knew what he was capable of, he provided perspective. Once he stopped I kind of lost my way with F1. If my brother had Nazi flags I would abandon him. And I sure as fuck would never be partying with him. I would let him know that unless he wants to not be a complete piece of shit, he has no place in my life. At 1:10, on an old video, you can hear /u/Jatt just say the word "Manner" a few times. That usage of the term shows that Jatt definitely from the Starcraft scene, where "Manner" can be used on its own to imply bad manner. In Starcraft, people would build structures in the enemy base to BM, such as a "manner hatchery".. My face looks clearer and younger TBH. I highly recommend. It doesn't feel stubbley or anything like a mans face lol because the hair is so fine, so it's really not something people will notice if that's your concern.. The problem is that it is not simply a "choice" much in the way that "choosing to rape" or "not choosing to rape" is not a valid framework. Harming others when it is merely for profit, pleasure and convenience is not "simply a choice". With the exception of tiny communities around the world, humans do not need to eat meat for survival, and when they do, it is because it is convenient, pleasurable and profitable. I have no allergies, but can be sensitive to high levels of perfume in product so prefer perfume free where possible. My sun damage is improved by about 50% since I got serious about my skin care. I had pigmentation from pregnancy as well which has now completely resolved. 3 intermittent fasting! I do 8/16, which means I fast for 16 hours and eat during an 8 hr time frame. This helps me stay on calorie track and helps me fit in my meals in a timely way. If I know I only eat from 11 to 8pm, I can make it easier to plan ahead how much time I have to eat. Until our society changes in a way where the masses feel sympathy for pedos which would enable pedos to seek help without fear of backlash, I don see how we could make a system where we help people who can separate fiction 연천출장안마 from reality. If we can have that which would be the ideal situation then banning loli hentai is the next best thing. Just one kid being saved from abuse is enough for me to not care about the joy people will lose by not being able to consume loli porn freely. Referring to Android distributions as Linux distributions is like referring to squares as rectangles or circles as ellipses. It technically correct, but it only serves to confuse people. It better to refer to them as Android distributions. This is what forced them to abandon their car so quickly, once they had they got lost and couldn find their way back even though the car clearly could have saved them. Mathias body is the only one that was never found it never went up that mountain. Something happened before then then made these men fear for their lives so much they went 연천출장안마 a long distance in an area they were not familiar with, despite their own mental conditions and comforts.

[doubleddenden]

You ever think about how Hinata made the safest choice on crushes in naruto? I got to thinking about it and literally from the get go Nart was probably the safest bet on future material to be with, like if we're judging from their early school days.

Like you know how a lot of women usually become house wives and the husband works in their culture? Let's say Nart doesn't become Hokage. He's still like a really strong ninja, Taijutsu being one of his better scores in school.

Let's say he's a failure at that, too? Boy is a blue collar worker with a bright future tbh. He could learn ramen making or go on to build bridges or learn to weld or become a construction worker or something. In any case he's not really mentally smart but kinetically speaking he can withstand a lot of bullshit and training.

Plus look at the other boys she has to work with. Sasuke is rude and has a superiority complex about his family being the best at everything, and every girl in the class has a crush on him. He's going to be a terrible husband and there's just too much competition. Sure he might could become an accountant if the whole ninja thing didn't work out but still? That's a no

Shikamaru is smart af but lazy and unmotivated. She would starve with Choji. Kiba is a furry and probably has fleas, and Shino has fleas and literally every other insect on him. No no no. And if we're judging by class seniors, Neji is her abusive cousin. Lee? Well he's a good guy but clearly he'd be too focused on training.

Plus, Nart has the sexy jutsu. If she's bisexual? That's a two fer right there. So why not go for the girls then? Let's be real, all the girls are crazy for Sasuke. Sakura and Ino are brash af and borderline crazy. Ten Ten would be cool if she had personality but she's overshadowed by her teammates and is basically the crazy knife lady.

Really. Nart might be a bit brash and dumb but compared to the others? He's literally the safest bet hubby material wise at that point.

Now in the future? Obviously it pays off a little bit. Sure he's busy being Hokage but let's look at these pros she got from this deal:

Husband is hokage, that's big ol fuck you to her haters and guarantees a bit of income.

Husband has the sexy, harem, and reverse harem jutsus on top of his shadow clones. Listen, I'm just saying out of the others, they have the most kids. Coincidence?

She loves ramen more than he does. There's never an argument about what to have for dinner because she's probably got Ichiraku on back order fo days for them.

Even with the others mellowing out, he's still probably the safer man. Sasuke is an ex war criminal and has psychological and sociopathic issues, Choji still would starve her, Kiba and Shino still have fleas, Lee has to care for Guy, Sakura is still insane and in love with the psycho war criminal, Ino is too busy trying to get Sai, Sai is still a bit weird, Ten Ten who? If we expanded to the same village you got a guy that made a corpse into a puppet, a lady who honestly is scary af and luckily persuing Shikamaru, and Gaara is probably her COMPETITOR for Nart. Shikamaru straightens out, sure, but are you really going to try and put yourself in that love triangle?

Maybe he's busy most of the time but he's at least capable of shadow clones if she really needs it. Do you think yard work takes long? Not if you have 10 Narts working on everything. Heavy lifting? Not an issue.

Of course she can protect herself and she's got bigger balls than most of the villages combined (Pain arc anyone?) But really. Who is going to mess with that? You don't get mugged if you're Hinata fucking Hyuga, and you certainly don't get mugged if you're Hinata fuckin Uzumaki. If the fear of a woman who can see 360 degrees, turn you into q limp noodle with a few palm presses, AND FUCKING TIGERS FOR HANDS does not perturb one enough, then how about the ninja who saved the world 3 times over? Demon lives in him? Can rasengan your ass to oblivion or rasenshuriken you beyond recognition? CAN MUG YOU BACK WITH 100'S OF THESE? The only people brave enough to mess with either are dumb af or ninja gods or whatever.

Do you have any idea how many favors they are owed? Put aside the reach the Hyuga clan has for a moment. Nart has an entire bridge named after him. Boi probably has kids named after him. He's a celebrity basically that has helped out more than his fair share of people. Do you think they have to worry about hotels or inns or meals when they go out of town? They probably still pay because they're decent people but if they couldn't? They have highly skilled assassins and swordsmen they've probably have asked to babysit for a bit (Killer Bee has totally babysat once or twice for them). Plus do you think they worry about medical bills? Not with Auntie Sakura and Granny Tsunade down the block.

Not to mention the kids always get interesting birthday gifts. Awww thanks for the 12th knife TenTen, thanks for the teddy bears and books Kakashi, and thanks for the books on meditation and self healing Gaara, meanwhile Konahamaru has gifted Boruto with fire crackers and Bee taught Himawari how to rap.

Off of this too, their kids are so safe. Really, who other than gods and stupid people will mess with your family when A. Their dad is Naruto, B. His best friend is a psychopath ex war criminal with God in his eyesocket, C. Their uncle is Kakashi fuckin Hatake, D. Their other uncles are Killer Bee, Gaara of the fucking sand and his entire clan and village, Mr Rock I can kick your ass by flexing my toe muscles Lee, scary ass Yamato and Sai aka former Anbu, i figured out 12 of your 5 weaknesses Shikamaru, the list goes on and on. Their aunts are also scary af.

Once Naruto retires from Hokage (which if we're judging by how long Tsunade and Kakashi were Hokage it could be not too long), they have literally the world as their oyster. Unlimited ramen. Unlimited favors. And you bet your ass that Hokage Konahamaru would do them right. The hokage retirement plan has to be baller af.

Anyway that's the tea, she scored big time.

[thechaoticwonderland]

I finally have time to write, damn it! I have been MIA for the longest time (and Twitter has been basically my place for word vomit) but I swear I have been trying to write something here -- as proven by my numerous drafted posts. LOL. 😓

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or Instagram, I TURNED TWENTY FOUR a few months back. Yup, I have officially changed my profile every where to 24. I still can’t believe I am THAT old but meh. 

I celebrated my birthday walking dogs and getting drunk around Sheung Wan and Central Hongkong with my boyfriend -- super low key but probably one of the best birthday celebrations ever! 💜 But I’d probably save a different post for that -- WHEN I FIND THE TIME AND ENERGY TO DO SO. (Possibly never, but let’s see lol)

And since I am T W E N T Y F O U R (ack!), I have decided to come up with a blog post on 24 life realizations I have at 24 - some are realizations I’ve had leading up to my 24th but you get my point. 😂

1. Love comes when you least expect it - cliché, I know. But I met my boyfriend at this random birthday party I gate-crashed AKA his 30th birthday. 😁 Long story short, we’ve been going out for over a year now. We both weren’t looking for anything then since he just got out of a toxic relationship, and I was casually going out with random people. But here we are. 😜

2. No need to rush things, do things at your own pace - I started my Masters over 2 years ago, and you’ve guessed it, most of my batch mates have their Masters degree already. 🙆🏾 At some point, I wanted to study full-time cos I’ve gotten envious of my friends. But since my parents are still (yep, I know. Shame on me) paying for my tuition fee, I don’t want to burden them with allowance expenses + my living expenses (If you’re new here, I actually live alone lol) so I need to keep my job. Now I’m 1 subject away from defending my paper! I’m almost there! And it’s actually not bad. 🤗

3. Don’t live beyond your means - Ahh, my dad’s favorite life lesson. I never thought about it then since I was living under my parents’ support, but now that I live alone I have to make ends meet month on month. In layman’s terms IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, JUST DON’T. 

4. Don’t put your eggs in one basket - I know I am not the best person to be all preachy about money (cos I am bad at handling my own finances, but I try) but I have 3 savings accounts in different banks. It comes in handy when one bank fucks shit up (like goes on a nationwide shut down *cough BPI*, or one that just eats up your card and your money from time to time *cough BDO*). 

5. Your past doesn’t define you or how you’d succeed in the future - Another cliché saying, but I swear you get to realize why people say it often. I’ve done so much shit when I was younger but believe me when I say such experiences will help you realize stuff later on. After all, we learn from our mistakes and such mistakes will push us to be better people tomorrow. 

6. Your choices in life are your own, don’t let people tell you otherwise - You will never share the exact same beliefs with everyone, I’m sure about that. Just do you and brush off other opinions, they don’t matter - believe me. 

7. Keep your circle close and small - Your real friends genuinely care, the others are just curious. Be cautious.

8. Always be kind - And this applies to everyone: guards, maids, janitors, etc. Believe me, if you’re nice to everyone, it’s easier to ask for favors. 😜

9. Travel alone - You should try this at least once in your life, me thinks. It gave me a sense of liberty and independence! I did this when I was trying to mend my cracked heart - and I came back to Manila feeling all refreshed and happy. I guess I learned that I don’t need a man to survive! HAHA! 😂

10. Don’t complain, do something about it - Ranting is fine, human nature. But if you will just sit down and whine when something could actually be done, then maybe you should rethink your life choices honey. Instead of wasting your time and energy complaining, why don’t you stop and think? Things and answers won’t always be served to you on a silver platter, FIND WAYS. 😊

11. Don’t forget to remove your make up at the end of the day - PLEASE. Do yourself a favor and let your face breathe! 😛 

12. ALWAYS MOISTURIZE AND PUT SPF - *i-capslock mo para intense!!!* I couldn’t stress this enough. I actually keep various moisturizers depending on the weather, I have intensive moisturizers for when I travel and light ones for the Philippine heat. Just please, never skip it! 

13. One at a time - My boyfriend would always tell me this when I’m stressing over work, school, among other things. It helps, actually. Stop, arrange your thoughts, and do things one at a time. 

12. Treat yourself - Now before you go crazy and tell me that this is a bad thing, I didn’t say you have to buy that expensive bag you’ve been eyeing on for so long because “I DESERVE IT”. Going back to point number 3, if you can’t afford it - IT’S A NO. It can be as simple as “I did a great job today, I deserve good coffee - not my usual pantry coffee”, which is my usual way of treating myself. If you can afford to buy that expensive bag to treat yourself, BY ALL MEANS DO IT. But always remember POINT NUMBER 3!  

13. Family will always come first - Ah, this is one of the many things I realized growing up. Of course I was super excited to grow up so I can go out with my friends whenever I wanted to before. But when I moved out, I always look forward to weekends so I can come home to my family. What a baby, I know right?  

14. Let go and let God - I am not the most religious person in the world, heck I barely even hear mass (I’m busy, but that’s not an excuse I’m sorry). But I really believe in greater power from above. I always find myself in hopeless situations, where I find my shitty ass crying myself to bed on most nights (add that I also live alone so imagine how bad it must be lol). But I usually find myself just getting through the worst days with little miracles. And I always thank God for that. 

15. If you feel so happy with the wrong person, image how happy you’d be with the right one? - Eep, another cliché saying c/o me lol. But seriously, I thought I couldn’t be happy anymore when I once got my heart broken HAHAHA. Cut to mid-last year, I’m extremely happy -- waaay happier than before. Not saying I’m already with the person for me, though I really do hope so (HAHAHA yuck cheese) but I’m happier than before and I’m sure the person I’m with is a better person amongst all the guys I went out with before.

16. Take long walks. - I enjoy this so much especially abroad. I went on a birthday trip in Hong Kong and I spent 70% of the time walking - thinking and reflecting. 😅 I think long peaceful walks are good for everyone’s sanity.

17. Cut off toxic people. -  Not everyone you lose is a loss. If they aren’t doing you good, what’s the use of keeping them? 

18. Life is what you make it. - If you want something to happen, the first step starts with you. 😅 If you don’t take the first step, nothing will happen. SERIOUSLY. Everything doesn’t happen by chance!!!!! 

19. You don’t have to have a reaction on everything. - I believe there are things better left unsaid. I know a lot of people would disagree. But I still think the saying “If you have nothing nice to say, just zip it” is still superior. Lol.

20. Work isn’t everything. - I recently had to stop working for a week and a half due to some health concerns. It sucked balls. But I came to realize work isn’t everything -- YOUR HEALTH (mental health included) IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT.

21. Quite connected to the bullet prior, Work can wait. - I have learned to keep work within working hours. Remember, work will always come and it will never be done. Know what’s most important and prioritize! That’s the key. Whatever’s left can be done tomorrow. You don’t have to spend 12 hours in the office all day and stress out on work, tbh.

22. Choose your battles. - Not everything is worth stressing over. (remember point 19!) 😋

23. Respect begets respect. - Respect opinions, respect people - young and old alike. Sometimes we just have to learn to agree to disagree. 

24. Live life to the fullest. - Another cliché saying, but honestly you’ll never be as young as you are today. Make mistakes so you will never make the same ones in the future, learn the ropes of life through the decisions you make everyday. Not everything will go our way, that’s for sure, but life is only what we make of it. 

I hope you got to pick something up from my blabbing. To be honest, it took me months to finish this list since I barely have time in my hands. Lol. 😬 

I missed you, Tumblr! ✨  

[damn-stevens]

Legion S2: Life in Binary and the Long Con

Continuing from my last post about 2x07. Let’s talk Big Bads and bullshit, people.

2x01 is really important to this season. A lot happens in it that doesn’t make sense until you’ve watched several episodes. There's STILL a ton of strange little hints in the first episode that probably won't be clear until the very end, but I think the last scene holds something of interest at this moment, right after the end of 2x07. Listen to the end of "White Rabbit". I’ve been wondering about it ever since I first saw it. 

OMG. Riiiight? The voice always sounded a bit like Ptonomy to me, and it keeps saying, “Ten...one...one...one...ten...” etc, which made me think of binary the first time I heard it. There’s many binaries in this show: red and green, David and Farouk, “bad” and “good”, past and future, Cary and Kerry, “David 1″ and “David 2″, the list goes on and on. But is living life from the point of view of duality actually helpful to the characters on this show?

So we know that David appeared in a mini forest on top of a tall building sometime before he turned up at the Club, sitting alone in a chair. My guess is that the “forest” is a mental version of the Mainframe referred to by Fukyama/the Vermillion and David-in-the-orb is going to be dropped there sometime soon in what we might as well refer to as the “present day”. He’ll have a very important conversation with Ptonomy there, which will probably (?) then lead him back to the Club where he’ll battle with Oliver and a new version of “Lenmy” who will come into being in the next few episodes.

Wait, what? Well...

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually — from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint — it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff.

- The Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, “Don’t Blink”

So what I’m saying is that while I’ve always believed this was a timey-wimey season, my current hypothesis is that up til now I was thinking it was timey-wimey in the wrong direction. We assumed that David’s memories of what happened after he entered the orb were in the past, but in actuality, they haven’t happened just yet. 

I assume this because of the way the roof-forest resembles the Mainframe and the binary code being said in Ptonomy’s voice in David’s memories. Also concerning the “Lemny” theory: there are two scenes in which Lenny doesn’t look quite like herself in 2x01. There’s the delusion chick hatching scene, in which she picks it up and kisses it after killing the “healthy” idea. Her hair is curly and auburn like Amy’s, if slightly shorter. She’s also wearing a very sweet and adorable, Amy-style dress. The only thing about her that resembles original Lenny is that her eyes are brown. Then in the Club dance fight scene, her hair is in a short bob, but still looks slightly auburn even in the odd lighting of the Club. It’s also full like Amy’s but not overly curly like Lenny’s black hair would be. Again her eyes are brown. The last time we see this version of “Lemny”, David remembers her approaching him to give him a kiss, which could mean anything, but is probably (?) a sign of sibling affection.

Something else: the whys and hows I don’t know yet, but the longer this season goes on, the more I’m sure David is being played. He’s been manipulated by somebody who knows things they aren’t telling him, someone who’s a talented liar. And in typical Legion fashion, this person isn’t Farouk, because that’s just who you’d expect. No, the liar is clearly Syd.

But hey, what about Future Syd and her prophecy of doom? Who IS Future Syd, really? Well, she’s Present Syd, I think. Remember how Syd was practicing switching places with a cat early in the season? Now at the end of 2x07, Future Syd looks into a very familiar-looking neon ring at an image of Present Syd, who’s sitting in her room. But actually, there is no Future Syd, just an extra Vermillion that Present Syd found lying around and put her own face on (!) She probably initially wanted to use it to touch David in the real world when he returned home, but now instead she’s used it to trick him into helping Farouk find his body (I dunno why yet, but there’s a lot about what happened to her in the past year that I believe we don’t know yet). While the actual Syd pretends to be herself from the future in a Vermillion body, the computer mind of the Vermillion just sits around in Present Syd’s body...vermillioning.

David is being lied to, probably only by Syd because she knows/believes something about him that she’s not telling anyone else. I feel like she learned something scary about him during the last year, and she sees this trickery as the only solution to the potential dangers of the future. Maybe she’s trying to save him from Clark, or maybe she’s trying to save the world from him, or maybe both. But she wants him involved this hunt for Farouk’s body, which may or may not be a wild good chase. It might just be a distraction, like Lemny’s delusion chicks.

Uh, ok...that’s confusing enough, but who is the “big bad” of the season then? Tbh I don't think there's any actual villain in this season. It's more about bad feelings created by secrets, lies, and deceptions ending up in bad results; feelings like fear, mistrust, betrayal, and rage. I'd keep my eyes on Clark, Syd, Lenny, Melanie, and Oliver to see what they do. David and Farouk are involved but are more of a cause than the effect, I believe. 

We're a superstitious animal, always turning the weather into acts of God. Like, probably, the Devil was just some guy named Lucifer who beat up kids for their Lunchables, and then a few hundred years later...

- Clark, Legion 2x01

Clark’s little speech sounds like it’s pointing at heart of this season: the power of assumption, fear, and utter bullshit. I think David and Farouk create an abundance of all these things between the two of them. Farouk is the true, seasoned con artist of the two because aside from his little mind-fuck games I don’t think he has any power of his own, but David is almost worse because he appears to be conning himself in order not to face ugly truths. 

Now we’ll just have to wait to see how much of what I just wrote is bullshit after 2x08 airs.

[zigsexual]

Theoreticals; part 2 (maxwell x mc)

part one.

merry christmas and merry maxwell-is-finally-an-LI!!!!! this is part two of theoreticals, the third part will be the last one and then this will be done, i promise.

this is the final companion piece to hypotheticals and empiricals, and honestly if you haven’t read those then u probably should because this one has a lot of plot throwback and also tbh its like very divergent from the main storyline seeing as i started writing it in JULY

summary: the coronation is actually happening feat. private planes, maxwell as a baby????? an unfortunate run in with some potpourri, dancing, drake, and an uber driver

word count: 4100+

In what can only be described as a full circle moment, Riley grips the sides of the gilded sink in front of her and stares herself down in the mirror yet again, willing some semblance of courage to emerge and push her out the bathroom door into the waiting ballroom. So far, no such luck — though she’s at least kept from crying this time around. A small victory, considering how long the assembly line of official royal makeup artists had spent on her face.

She’d never even seen Liam on the plane — he’d been stuck in the so-called “diplomat suite” the entire flight — but the anxiety of the potential encounter had kept her on-edge the whole time. Perhaps she could’ve deluded herself for a moment that she’d escaped unscathed, if it weren’t for the familiar crest on the tiny card left for her in the palace powder room. Of course Liam would apologize for not being able to see her, of course he would send a note. It’s the royal thing to do.

Her red dress, albeit beautiful, feels like a lie. Maybe that’s what’s keeping her stuck in this room. She wants nothing more than to go unnoticed, to slip away quietly, as softly as the satin of the gown.

“Riley?” Hana’s waiting at the door, having promised she wouldn’t head into the celebration without her. “Do you need help with anything?”

Wordlessly, Riley turns away from her damaged reflection and opens the door, managing a weak smile for her equally as flustered friend. Honestly, she shouldn’t be the one causing a scene when Hana has enough on her plate to topple even the most practiced façade. “Nah, I’m good. Shall we?”

They find Drake easily enough: he’s sulking by the appetizers. Riley is fairly certain her presence won’t help his mood much, but there isn’t anyone else she and Hana can hang with. He looks up when he sees them approaching, then right back down at the glass in his hands as soon as his eyes fall on Riley’s dress.

Riley plucks some shrimp cocktail off a nearby plate and sinks against the wall next to him.

“You look… nice,” he manages, still deliberately not catching her eye. Hana has been apprehended by some noble near the pâté bar and is shooting furtive glances in their direction, but he doesn’t seem to be letting up.

“Looks like you’re stuck with just me,” Riley says, biting into her shrimp. “Sorry.”

“Eh,” Drake shrugs. “You’re not the worst person here, Aldridge.”

Riley glances over at his drink. “Whiskey?”

In response, he merely raises it up and takes a long sip. “Maxwell?”

“Touché.”

Drake nods, surveying the room. Riley follows his gaze through the throngs of dancing courtiers, the exact opposite of the lives they both should be living. Liam is at the center of it all, shaking hands with dignitaries and bowing to nobles, pressing kisses to cheeks as he greets what must be the hundredth well-wisher today, each time still somehow fresh. Something in her heart aches for him, though she knows it’s not the ache he would want it to be.

“If it makes you feel any better, it just… happened,” she says. “I mean, it wasn’t like — god, I don’t know.”

“Does anyone?”

She reaches over, pulls the whiskey from his hands, and throws back a long drink. He surveys her warily as she swallows, holding it back out to him.

“Thanks.”

“Well, I guess if I’m offering.”

Riley leans her head back against the wall, staring up at the intricately decorated ceiling. Trust the palace to keep even their ceilings interesting. “I know he’s great. Liam, I mean. Like, I know that.”

“No one’s arguing that point.”

She turns her head to face him, even as he doesn’t meet her eyes. “You’ll make sure he gets someone great, right? That he’s happy when all this mess is over?”

“I wish I could promise you that.”

He looks tired.

“Aldridge…”

“Don’t lecture me, or whatever.”

“I wasn’t.”

She eats another shrimp.

He sighs. “Look, I know it’s been kind of… weird, between us.”

Riley scoffs, still chewing. “Oh, you think? I can’t catch a date in New York for four years and now suddenly I’m like, a Cordonian ten. I mean,” she swallows, shaking her head, “what are the standards in this country when it comes to women? Have any of you ever seen one, or is it just like, Madeleine and Olivia all the damn time?”

“You underestimate yourself,” Drake says.

“Okay, well, you would say that, since you’re a biased Cordonian party.”

He laughs, rolling his eyes. “Sure, whatever. I’m just trying to say… obviously I care about you, regardless.”

“Yeah,” Riley nods. “Yeah, I know.”

The background chatter of the room fills the silent space between them, an amicable sort of antisocial moment blooming, like a flower you never particularly wanted, but aren’t entirely unhappy with. Riley looks out towards the ballroom floor and sees Hana, caught up in a traditional dance with the same guy from the pâté bar. She looks about as thrilled as she did near the appetizers, and Riley makes a mental note to plot some diversionary tactic to save her.

Drake seems to be lost in thought. He looks rather sheepish, worn down by their moment of honesty and clearly dreaming of anywhere but here. God, he has this brooding loner shit down to an art by now.

“So,” She elbows him as he lifts up his glass to take a sip. “When did you first realize you wanted to jump me?”

He coughs violently, tensing up and glaring at her. “Jesus, Riley.”

She tilts her head and smiles. “Just curious.”

“Fine, two can play at that game. When did you first realize you wanted to jump Maxwell?”

“I don’t know, I told you. It just happened.”

“Sure.”

“He’s just…” She looks up, searching for the words. “He’s the only one who makes me feel like all of this crazy shit is worth something, y’know? Like… like I’m actually supposed to be here.” She gestures out at the crowd of guests. “Even with all this, he doesn’t ask to me to be anything other than who I already am. He’s always treated me like I matter, even back in New York in my godawful bar clothes — he believed in me. He believes in me. Even when I don’t.”

She turns to Drake, and his expression is one of somber resignation.

“Cool.” He looks at his glass, then downs the rest of the drink. “Can’t wait to give the wedding toast.”

She makes a face in an attempt to hide the blush rising in her cheeks. “Who said you were invited?”

In response, he merely raises an eyebrow.

She sighs. “Sorry. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

He shrugs. “Who else is there to tell?”

There’s a pause between them, and then she hears the voice.

“Riley?”

Distant, but. It’s him.

Drake rolls his eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile at his lips. “I’m gonna get a double,” he says, sidling away from the wall and raising his glass to her in exit. “Cheers.”

She opens her mouth to reply, but the moment is lost as he slips away through the crowd, head down. The image of his shattered face in the study washes over her; the way his eyes traveled down her dress just now. She recalls how just yesterday his expression had hardened, guarded, as she stumbled over her words trying to explain the circumstances of her and Maxwell; only the ghost of a feeling left in his eyes as he stood behind the desk like it was a shield.

Her heart aches a little for him too. But it could never be enough.

When she turns, Maxwell is just a few feet from her, adorable as ever. “Sorry. Did I interrupt?”

“Actually, your timing is uncharacteristically impeccable.” She holds out her hand. “Shrimp?”

“I’ve already had like fifteen,” he laughs.

“Oh, well, in that case.” Riley pops the last bite in her mouth. “What’s up?”

“It’s the sponsors dance,” he says, running his hand through his hair absently, “It’s sort of a tradition, for the suitors to have one last display together.”

“Oh, fuck,” Riley squeezes her eyes shut, grimacing. “I have to dance in front of everyone again, don’t I?”

“Well, pretty much this entire thing has been in front of everyone, so…”

“Not helping.”

Maxwell puts his hand on her shoulder. “Hey, don’t worry. It’ll be fun. Unless you want to dance with Bertrand?”

She finally cracks a smile, and he lets his hand fall down to hers, pulling her gently in the direction of the assembling couples in the ballroom.

When they step out onto the floor, Riley is struck with a sudden acute awareness of how ridiculously enormous the ball is. It feels like the entire population of Cordonia is smashed into this one room, watching her.

She tightens her grip on Maxwell’s hand. “I really don’t know how to dance, Maxwell. Like I truly have no idea what I’m doing.”

“It’s okay,” he says, “I’ll lead you. You did fine with the waltz at Olivia’s place; you just have to follow what I do.”

“Yeah, but Olivia’s place wasn’t the biggest fucking event of this entire country.”

“Neither is this one, to be honest.” Maxwell glances around at the crowd. “We had a much better turnout when One Direction toured here.”

“I’m serious!” Riley hisses, but the laughter in her eyes betrays her. Maxwell smiles, taking her other hand in his and placing it on his shoulder.

“You keep your hand here, on the seam,” he explains, slipping his free arm around her to rest his hand against her shoulder blade. “Then you hold your arm with mine out at an angle like this.”

The music is starting up, and she can feel her heartbeat quickening.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “My hand is like, really sweaty.”

“You’ll be fine,” Maxwell reassures. “It’s three steps, okay? Just do what I’m doing.”

She nods, looking down at his feet, trying her best to memorize the one-two-three of the tempo.

He watches her watching him. “You’re awfully calm, all things considering.”

She flicks her eyes back up to his face, raising an eyebrow. “’All things considering’?”

“Ah — you know what I mean.”

She ducks her head to hide her smile, focusing on the movements of the rhythm. Honestly, it’s hopeless and she knows it, but he doesn’t seem to care. She’s a little stiff, a little cumbersome, but when she steps on his foot for the third time he conceals the twinge of pain that flashes across his face fairly well.

“Sorry,” she says.

“It’s fine. You’re fine.”

“Well, also the hand, too. It’s really sweaty.”

“Not that sweaty.”

“That’s so sweet, but you’re lying.”

She holds his shoulder tighter, pulling him imperceptibly closer. He looks at her, like he’s seeing into her soul, like he knows exactly how her fingers have found purchase in the same place the night before.

“I, um,” she has to look away, to regain her composure for a moment, “I’m gonna… I’m gonna miss —”

“Tell me more about New York,” he says suddenly.

“Oh. Okay. The bad stuff, or just the good stuff?”

“All the stuff.”

She thinks, and the music fills the silence between them. She only stumbles a little on the twirl.

“Alright. So there’s this homeless guy outside my subway stop — well, let me clarify, there’s almost always a homeless guy outside every subway stop, but this one is the same guy every day. I usually pass him if I’m working a night shift, and I guess he must recognize me by now because he always says, ‘keep fighting!’ whenever I see him.”

“Keep fighting what?”

“I don’t know. ‘The Man,’ I guess? Anyway that’s not even… that’s not even a good story, I don’t know why I told you — shit! Sorry, oh god, that’s your foot.”

“I’ve been through worse, promise. Keep going.”

“Okay. Um, anyway, what I was trying to get at there is that there’s a local camaraderie, almost like… patriotism? I guess you could call it that. Sort of this feeling that you’re all in it together, but no one’s going to fuck with you. Or maybe that’s just the US in general.”

“I wouldn’t know, you’re one of the only Americans I’ve met.”

“Really?”

“Apples aren’t the biggest tourist attraction.”

“You know they call New York ‘The Big Apple’?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She shifts her weight, trying to match his pace. “Your turn now; tell me about Cordonia.”

“What do you want to know?”

Riley shakes her head at him. “You always say that! Maybe I don’t want to ask. Maybe I want you to tell me what you think I should know.”

Somehow throughout the course of the dance, they’ve gotten considerably closer: his hand has fallen to her waist, her fingers curled around his shoulder like a lifeline. Riley feels a rush of something warm and dizzy, struck with the thought of leaning in and resting her head against his chest, of closing her eyes and giving up on the pretenses and just — being.

“Okay,” he looks up, thinking, “Well, my family had this country estate, sort of out more in the hills, near Applewood. Really ridiculous house with a vineyard and a stable and tennis courts and all that. And before my mom died, we used to spend the summers there, get away from the court for a while.”

“How old were you? When… when your mom…?”

He tries to smile, to reassure her maybe, but it doesn’t hit his eyes. “Not old enough.”

She squeezes his hand.

“So, um, the summer, that’s when most of the noble houses get out of the capitol. A lot of them go to the beach, or to the lake, but we were out in the fields and there wasn’t much else around for miles. I used to think it was so boring, just us out there playing doubles or polo, and I’d try and convince my mom to have all these garden parties just so I could see someone else my age. I’d take the horses out as far as I could get them, and I was always getting lost, and Bertrand always had to come and find me — god, I must have annoyed him to death —”

“You, lost?” Riley grins. “I’d never believe it.”

“Very funny.”

There’s barely a whisper of space between them now.

“Anyway, I —” he purses his lips, “Well, my dad sold the estate after my mom died. We just… never went back. I wish I could take you; I keep thinking about it, wondering what it’s like there now. Sometimes I feel like that place is all I have left of my mom. And it’s been so… comfortable, having you in the house all the time. I… I don’t know what I’m saying. I just wish she could’ve met you.”

“Max…” she starts to say, trailing off before anything of substance emerges. Her mind floods with memories: laughing with her dress stuck over her head, the swell of bravery with his hand in hers at the breakfast table, his sad smile as he stood in her room holding her suitcase.

She bites her lip hard against the feeling, but it wells up inside her anyway, unquenchable and strong. It’s almost freeing, finally having something so terrifying being so palpable. Her hands are trembling.

“Hey,” Maxwell says, his voice lowered. “Riley, are you crying?”

“No,” she says, but she is.

He looks both startled and shattered, and seeing him like that breaks apart her final shreds of composure. The tears blur her vision, cut down her face in crooked lines.

“I just…. I, um,” she swallows hard, shaking her head. “I have to… give me a minute, okay?”

She doesn’t wait for him to reply, only pulls away, wiping roughly at her eyes with the back of her hand. This isn’t how she wanted tonight to go; this isn’t how she wanted him to remember her.

She walks quickly off the ballroom floor, head bowed and cursing the flamboyant red dress she had thought so momentous at the time. She’d give anything to be back in her forgettable blue thing right now.

The bathroom is just outside the ballroom entrance, much to her relief, and she crumples against the door the moment it’s shut. The wave of emotion is beginning to subside, but the aftershocks are brutal and raw. She reaches for one of the ridiculous monogrammed hand towels hung about the room and presses her face into it, breathing slowly.

It’s barely been a minute before the door swings open and Riley lets out a tiny shriek, stumbling forward. She hears a loud scoff from behind her, and whirls around in defensive mode, only to find herself face to face with a scowling Olivia.

“What the fuck?” Riley squeaks out, steadying herself on a towel rack. “This bathroom is occupied!”

Olivia puts a hand on her hip, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, I know. And it’s about to be even more occupied, so move over.”

She shoves herself in even as Riley stands agape, still clutching the towels. Olivia motions towards the door, but when Riley continues to stare, she sighs and kicks it closed with one strappy stiletto.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Riley squeaks.

Olivia surveys her warily. “You’re hardly the one who should be asking that. What are you doing crying in palace ballrooms? God, you’re embarrassing.”

Riley wipes at the smudged mascara under her eyes. “Just my luck that you’re the person who follows me in here.”

Olivia sighs, examining her nails. “Look, I’m not here to give you a pep talk. I’ve been trying to get you alone all night.” She glances back up, her expression unreadable. “We need to have a chat. This is as good an excuse as any.”

Riley sets the towels down near the sink, reaching up to rub at her temples once her hands are free. “Well, get it over with. This night couldn’t possibly suck more.”

“And people say I’m dramatic.” Olivia crosses her arms, but the guarded expression doesn’t change. “Look, you know what this is about. You’re not exactly subtle. Flirting at brunch? That atrocious shirt dress that was clearly unplanned? All those long-suffering looks?”

Of all the things Olivia might want to fling at her now, this was the last one she could have expected. Riley freezes, then slowly lowers her hands down, staring up at Olivia. “Sorry… what?”

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t bother being coy about it. I make a point of knowing everyone’s business, especially when it’s juicy. And you, Miss America, are fresh squeezed.”

“God, really?” Riley grimaces. “Can’t you just accuse me of some shit like a normal person?”

“Fine.” Olivia steps back, surveying Riley disdainfully. “How long have you been fucking him?”

“Fucking who?” She stares. “Liam?”

Olivia barks out a laugh. “No, oh my god! Don’t flatter yourself. Liam is such a virgin. Trust me, if he so much as saw a boob, I would know. I’m talking about your man on the side. You know: brown hair, blue eyes, always wears the same shirt?”

Oh god. Oh, shit.

“I—” Riley tries to come up with an excuse, but Olivia just stares her down even more, and look — everyone has a breaking point.

“Fuck.” Her shoulders slump, and she falls back against the sink, running a hand through her hair. “How did you know?”

Olivia throws up her hands. “God, I just told you how. Honestly, you think nobody saw you come out of the Beaumont hookup study with your hair looking even worse than usual? I know scandals when I see them. I only came on Liam’s plane today to confirm my suspicions. I do have my own plane, you know.”

“Of course you do.” Riley replies dryly.

“But that’s beside the point.” Olivia leans against a table laden with potpourri, tapping her fingernails against one of the bowls. “You’re really going to stand here and cry about your double life while the rest of us get flushed down the drain? This isn’t a joke, you know. This is a crown.”

“I know.”

“And to think that Liam is out there probably planning to make you the Queen, god knows why, and you’re off dreaming of sucking some broke asshole’s dick —”

Riley straightens up, eyes wide. “Who told you that?”

“What?” Olivia blinks at her, disinterested. “That you suck dick?”

“No, I was talking about the Beaumonts being broke. God, Bertrand is going to absolutely slaughter me for letting that one get out.” She groans, twisting her fingers back into her hair, before narrowing her eyes at Olivia. “Hey, and you know what? Fuck you, really, because it’s not like I wanted —”

Olivia cuts her off sharply, “Holy shit, you’re fucking Bertrand?”

“What?!” Riley screeches. “God, no! No, Jesus fucking Christ, no.” She gags, partly in pantomime and partly at the sheer horror of the mental image. “I would rather peel all the skin off my whole body and bathe in bleach.”

“Then why are you even talking about the Beaumonts?” Olivia’s veneer of authority has begun to wear down, and she looks almost confused now, her fingernails tapping even faster.

Riley swallows.

“What you said, before…” She can already feel the blood draining from her face, the sweat pooling in her clenched hands, “My, um, my ‘man on the side’? Uh… who were you talking about?”

“Who the fuck do you think?” Olivia says. “The only broke asshole in everyday chambray who you ever talk to.”

“Oh my god,” Riley’s mouth falls open. “Drake?”

She can almost see the wheels in Olivia’s head spinning full gear now, desperately piecing together the new information that she, in all her punchdrunk idiocy, had quite literally volunteered. God, truly her finest hour. Shitshow part three.

Olivia is lost in thought, eyebrows furrowed, crunching pieces of potpourri into dust between her fingers as she thinks.

“So,” she finally says, “You’re… not fucking Drake.”

“No.”

“And the Beaumonts are… broke?”

Riley bites her lip. “Yeah, can you maybe not tell —”

“Shut up.” Olivia holds up a hand. “You’re telling me that when you disappeared during that god-awful croquet game, you weren’t inside getting it on in the Beaumont study?”

Riley hesitates.

Olivia raises an eyebrow. “I see.”

She studies Riley for a moment, then her entire expression changes to one of absolute dumbfounded shock.

“Oh my god,” she whispers, stepping closer and looking Riley directly in the eyes. “… Maxwell?”

Riley’s resolve fails, and everything comes tumbling out before she can stop it, “Olivia, please, don’t say anything, I am going to talk to Liam tonight I promise I am going to set everything right and then I’ll leave court okay? I’ll leave, I don’t want to keep fucking things up anymore, but just please don’t tell Madeleine or whoever else in your harem of cronies wants to ruin my life, because frankly I am just done, I’m tired, and I just —” she takes a deep breath, then sinks down onto the toilet seat in a heap of red satin. “God, I don’t know.”

Olivia watches her talk, expression unreadable, her eyes flickering across Riley’s face. She appears almost like a movie critic, surveying an art, pen poised to decide its fate.

When Riley stills, Olivia squats down, level with her. “Okay, first of all? Let’s get one thing straight. Never in my life would I tell any sort of information to Madeleine. That woman is a scum-sucking witch plucked from the ninth circle of hell and stapled into the body of some 90’s has-been CW actor with a penchant for off-season jewel tones. She is the bubonic plague in human form and I loathe her.”

“Oh,” Riley says. “Um. My mistake.”

“Second,” Olivia stands, brushing off her dress, “You’re an idiot. A prince wants to marry you, and you seriously want to jump Maxwell? You do know that when he was thirteen he still believed in Santa Claus, right?”

Riley shrugs.

Olivia waves her hand dismissively, “You know what, whatever. Your funeral. I just wanted to know that I was right, and seeing as you’re just as guilty as presumed, I’m counting this one as a win.”

Riley stands up begrudgingly, shaking out the wrinkles in her dress. “I hate you.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. I hate you too.” Olivia has a hand on the doorknob, but at the sound of Riley’s shoes on the marble floor, she turns back.

“Hey,” she says, “Question: if you’re not fucking Drake, do you know if anyone else is fucking him?”

“Uh, not that I know of.” Riley cocks her head. “Why?”

“No reason,” Olivia says coyly, shutting the door behind her with a decisive click.

part three.

[team-adults-blog]

5.04 Pandora’s Box

Appropriately titled seeing as the bunker is opened and all hell breaks loose! Broken into sections based on characters. Mainly Kabby tbh. At least two song references. Possibly other pop-culture references... I guess you’ll have to read to find out...

Kabby

Omg Dad!Kane what is happening??? Octavia I know you care what are you doing. OFC he grabs a shield. Abby is locked up? That’s where she is! AHHH! I was right of course he’s taking the fall for Abby. NATE. JACKSON. What is the plan??? INDRA? Save my guy! I mean I know he will live but the suspense and HEY HE IS GETTING HURT while I wait for you to rescue him. OH SHIT. He did not need saving mamaaaaa I just killed a maaaannnn He clearly didn’t want to do that. More shaky hands and “what have I done face” it’s ok bby I know you feel remorse and you will be forgiven.

What the hell Octavia? He fights again??? Get out. Uggghhhhhh this is torture let him live! Ok. If I take a step back, he’s fighting again because he hesitated and showed weakness. The crowd wants a strong winner. Got it. Doesn’t make me like it, but that’s how this system is running now. Mob mentality. Human beings in a mob… What’s a mob to a (red queen) what’s a (queen) to a god? What’s a god to a nonbeliever? Who don’t believe in anything? We make it out alive. Alright, alright, no church in the wild. You know I went a little further with that song than I intended, but it works because the era of commanders and the flame is over, Gaia didn’t like that, but she understands symbols and Octavia covered in blood is a strong symbol, I’ll give her that. She knows he didn’t do it. But it’s about appeasing the mob. Kane’s reply “we’re all guilty” FUCK ‘EM UP BRO! WE SO ARE. We so are. And then Octavia’s all eyeroll-y and not here for a philosophy lesson. I loved that exchange. Dad!Kane gets super philosophical with it and she doesn’t want to hear it so often. Is Indra going to help him? KINDRA FOREVER. No, she’s going to go talk to Abby. She is so smart. Indra is the best. Make her main. Jaha is dead. Isaiah is gone. You can pay Ms. Porter more okayyyyyyy. She’s been crushing her scenes. I’ve been saying this for years.

Back to Abby. How did no one catch the addiction six years ago? It was clearly an issue at day 46, so I’m surprised Jackson didn’t intervene sooner? Or maybe he did. But addiction is not easy and can drive people to do desperate things, like stealing medicine. Thank the lord Kabby gets another pre-death hug. Why is this a reoccurring thing? He’s going to live. I am not worried. Maybe if this was the end of the season or if Jaha hadn’t just died I’d be a little more worried.

Oh man. I said I wasn’t worried, but I’m a little scared. My boy is taking some serious injuries as he plays the Jesus card yet again. Octavia no! don’t hurt him! Of COURSE I was right. Just when he’s about to die the bunker opens and our man Bellamy comes in all spy-kids/ navy seals- pick the reference you prefer (also whats-her-face-main-woman was a SEAL soooo this is a reference AND the truth). Oh and here’s Clarke too. Bellarke is like. Shit. What blood pit did we drop into?

AND THEN KINDRA BFFS! I feel like Indra is always saving Kane? Kane has defended her, but she’s straight up saved his life at least twice in my immediate memory: When he was chipped in polis and she tackled him (and his poofy hair was wiiiillllldddddd) and here again when she gets him out of the bunker while Octavia isn’t looking. And then Clarke gets to hug mom and Kane again and I love it. Literally Clarke and Abby can’t be together for more than a few hours on this show. They were separated for SIX years. Then they get, what, two conversations, the second is her telling them to run! And then Abby comes back and makes sure Kane goes back to space with her (nice) but has to leave Clarke again. Jason, if this is the most important relationship on the show, please let them have a day or a week together.

Raven and Shaw I ship ittttttttttttt. Shaw’s already developing a crush and he hasn’t seen the beauty that is Raven Reyes. Good luck bro. OH! But he fell in love with her mind first. Aw this is great I like this. Please don’t ruin this for me. Murphy and Raven scenes were nice. Love Raven talking to Clarke on the radio. And then Murphy asks why Raven always has to be the one to sacrifice? Love him. What a hero move. I’m glad he gets to play the hero again for his sake, even if he should learn over this season that he has value in just being him. He got Raven to have some fun and kick around a soccer ball. He has value just for doing that.

Bellarke

Bellamy learning diplomacy. He’s come so far. And then we get a great Bellarke hug. It really was a sweet and pure moment and I don’t even care that Clarke didn’t get all the details she would normally want. Happy happy.

Major take-aways:

-Marcus Kane is a sacrificial angel, but he also has military training and can defend himself and kill a dude if he has to. But he doesn’t like it. Especially when it’s personal aka hand-to-hand combat and not with the distance of guns. He does it for Abby. And that’s why I love him. Also he is beautiful, inside and out. He has been blessed.

-Octavia has changed. That’s going to take some getting used to for Bellamy and the viewers.

-Shaw is the only “nice” guy, but is he really nice? He’s still following orders and appears to have betrayed the crew to help the prisoners take over the ship. But he’s got a moral compass, he’s just not living to it the way he wants to. That may change- he’s in survival mode right now with guns pointed at his head anytime he objects. I’m curious as to what made him rebel to get to where he is now. I’m also excited for Shaw to meet Raven. She doesn’t need a love interest, but *I* am a little interested in what that would look like. She could pull an Abby and help bring out the better man inside that’s hiding behind rules and following orders.

-Bellarke is hiz hop happening.

-Uh so everyone else from space squad is hiding in the woods with Maddi?  I’d like to know what they’re talking about there- catching each other up and sharing stories. What stories did Clarke tell and leave out? Is Maddi going to ask Marper about how long Bell and Clarke have had heart eyes for each other? I wouldn’t mind seeing that. At the same time, I do understand that it is not exactly crucial to the plot; the idea is that they are safe. Not sure I need to see that, but it’d be cool.

-SO FAR THIS SEASON IS GREAT AND I LOVE THAT I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT I CAN’T QUITE FIGURE OUT YET- like what is the sickness Abby needs to cure? Is it some toxicity from the minerals they were mining? That’s the only guess I’ve got and I am A-OK not having it figured out yet.

-I am worried Marcus going to space is a bad idea because he will be used as leverage to get Abby to do things she doesn’t want to do. No doubt there.  But I’m ok with that because everything is ethically grey andddddd it means Kabby will have scenes together. AND they’ll be flipped from last season where Abby was just hanging out in Polis for a bit to be Ambassador Kane’s partner. Now Kane gets to be the Doc’s partner. He’ll probably still get a role because he’s a good diplomat and all that. But I like the idea of Abby having the major role to play and Kane hanging out as a love interest. Because GENDER NORMS. And Kabby talks and cuddles.

-When will Monty and Miller be reunited? And Miller and Harper were buds all the way back when they were locked up on the ark. I love reunionssssssss

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #105

What is your birth name? What name do you use? Brittany, and that's the name I use. Do you have a nickname? What is it, and where did you get it? "Britt," and then there's some online ones. What do you look like? (Include height, hair, eyes, skin, apparent age, and distinguishing features)  5'4'' or 5'5'' I don't even know, brown hair, blue eyes, 21, uhhh...  My only "distinguishing" feature is probably the fact my hair's thick as fuck. How do you dress most of the time? If I actually get dressed 'cuz I'm always in my pajamas ha ha, I'll wear sweatpants and a band or graphic tee. How do you “dress up?” I mean this really varies on the occasion. How do you “dress down?”  Refer to two questions ago. What do you wear when you go to sleep? Pajama pants and a tank top. Do you wear any jewelry?  My lip ring and a ring on my left hand. In your opinion, what is your best feature? My hair, I have no other good features :'D What’s your birth date? February 5th, 1996. Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?  We live in a small beige-yellow house on the side of a busy road. Do you own a car? Describe it.  No. What is your most prized mundane possession? Why do you value it so much? Hm... I actually don't really know. What one word best describes you? Passionate.

Familial Questions What is your family like? Not very close, but not awful. Who is your father, and what is he like? Kenneth/Ken.  He's a very silly and forgiving person.  He doesn't have the nicest past, but he's come very far as a human being.  He's not the most intelligent person ever.  He's very dedicated to me and my sisters. Who is your mother, and what is she like?  Donna.  She's an incredibly dedicated mother who will go to no limits for us.  She's very generous. What was your parents marriage like? Were they married? Did they remain married?  Fucking horrible.  They hated each other for as long as I've been alive.  They got divorced when I was 16 or 17, I think 17.  One or the other, or both, lie about each other now, so. What are your siblings names? What are they like?  I'm only covering my two immediate, who're Ashley and Nicole.  Ashley is extremely hard-working and dedicated, and she's pretty rational.  She's quite mature and is a lovely mother.  Nicole is a bit more difficult; she can have an attitude, but is going places.  She's super ambitious. When’s the last time you saw any member of your family? Where are they now? Nicole came into the living room for something a few hours ago. Did you ever meet any other family members? Who were they? What did you think of them?  I've met all my grandparents and many aunts and uncles and cousins.  I have different opinions on them all.

Childhood Questions What is your first memory? I'm not sure if this is my actual first memory as a lot of my childhood ones are jumbled, but I have strong memory of this one time I came into the living room with the stuffed rabbit that was my favorite toy to watch Ashley play the demo of "Medievil." It is common for one’s view of authority to develop in their adolescent years. What is your view of authority, and what event most affected it? Those with authority kinda scare me, I don't really know why. What were/are you like in high school? What “cliché” did/do you best fit in with?  I was quiet unless I knew you, then I'd talk quite a bit if I was in the right mood.  I was very well-behaved, and most considered me part of the "emo group," but I didn't really care if I "fit" any stereotypes. What were/are your high school goals? Graduate and go to college. Who was/is your idol when you were growing up?  Steve Irwin. What is your favorite memory from adolescence? Hm, I dunno.  Really depends on the age. What is your worst memory from adolescence? Parents fighting.

Occupational Questions Do you have a job? What is it? Do you like it? If no job, where does your money come from? I don't have a job so therefore I don't have an income. What is your boss or employer like? If a student what are your teachers like?  I'm not a student, either.  I know, I'm very impressive and inspiring. What are your co-workers or fellow students like? Do you get along with them? Any in particular? What is something you had to learn that you hated? Do you tend to save or spend your money? Why? I've never had a source of income, so I wouldn't even know.

Likes & Dislikes Questions What hobbies do you have? Being around animals, learning about meerkats, forum RP, photography, watching let's plays, social media shit. Who is your closest friend? Describe them and how you relate to them.  Sara and Colleen, don't feel like describing them both. Who is your worst enemy? Describe them and why you don’t get along. I don't really have one. What bands do you like? Do you even pay attention?  Omg SO many. What song is “your song?” Why?  I think "That's What You Get" by Paramore describes me most. What’s been your favorite movie of all time?  Of all time?  Of all movies I've loved, I probably loved "Finding Nemo" the most. Read any good books? What were they? Plenty, but my favorites are "Johnny Got His Gun" by Dalton Trumbo and "The Outsiders" by S.E. Hinton. What do you watch on the television?  I don't watch TV. When it comes to mundane politics, do you care? If so, which way do you tend to vote? If not, why don’t you care?  I mean I care, but I honestly don't pay enough attention.  And I'd say I lean more towards Republican, but my views are pretty close to the middle. What type of places do you hang out in when you are on your own? I'm always in my room. What type of places do you hang out in with your friends?  I only ever hang out with Colleen and Don, so her house or my house. What annoys you more than anything else? The mentality that the only right way to think is yours.  Learn tolerance. What would be the perfect gift for you?  A tattoo omg I love tats. @_@ What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?  Seeing people recover from negative experiences. What time of day is your favorite? Early morning.  Cool and pretty<3 What kind of weather is your favorite? Snowy! What is your favorite food? What is your least favorite food? Jalapeno pizza or hot wings that aren't dry as shit.  I hate brussel sprouts and asparagus. What is your favorite drink? My love for Mountain Dew Voltage will probs kill me. What’s your favorite Pokémon? Why? Ninetales, because (s)he's gorgeous<3 Do you have any pets? Do you want any pets? What kind?  We have a beagle/cocker spaniel/collie mix, a boxer mix, a dog that's supposedly a jack russel mix but looks zero like one, and a champagne ball python.  I REALLY want a bearded dragon, as well as a boa.  But tbh I just want all the pets. What do you find most relaxing? (Not as in stress relief, but as something that actually calms you down.)  Watching a Markiplier video ahhhh What habit that others have annoys you most? Hmmm.  Probably just people who think they're always right. What kind of things embarrass you? Why? DON'T FUCKING MAKE ME TALK ABOUT MY HOBBIES AND INTERESTS ALL RIGHT HOLY FUCKING SHIT.  I don't even know why I'm embarrassed by 99% of them, I just am.  Talking about some is mortifying to me. What don’t you like about yourself?  My anxiety. How would you like to look?  I'mma just say I'd change quite a few things.

Morality Questions What one act in your past are you most ashamed of? What one act in your past are you most proud of? Essentially backstabbing who was at the time my best friend when I was like 12.  I hate looking back on it.  My proudest act was allowing myself to recovering instead of continuing to hold on to the past. Have you ever been in a physical fight before? Over what, with who, and who won?  No, but Rachel nearly dragged me into one.  Because I was with her ex and at-the-time love interest for less than a day. What trait do you find most admirable, and how often do you find it? Agreeing with the last answer, probably generosity.  Too many people are so damn selfish.  You don't see it enough. What’s the worst thing that can be done to another person? Why? In my opinion, rape.  It's a violation of just... everything. Are you a better leader or follower? Why do you think that? Follower.  I can't lead. What is your responsibility to the world, if any? Why do you think that?  Hell if I know. Is it okay for you to cry? When was the last time you cried?  Horrible question to end a survey on because that's fucking obvious.  I cried less than a week ago.

[melted-wax-wings]

1-100

there’s a ton of these so here’s a read more

Is a kiss considered cheating? - Yes

Have you ever faked orgasm? - Nah

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? -Telekinesis

Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? -Probs not

Tell us some funny drunk story. - I just have high stories where i was being a memer.

Why are you no longer together with your ex? -Eh, personal reasons that i don’t feel like sharing tbh

If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? - In my sleep bc i’m a big baby

What are your current goals? - I’d like to get started on a poetry book

Do you like someone? - I mean, I have a bf so

Who was the last person to disappoint you? - honestly myself lmfao

Do you like your body? - NAH SON

Can you keep a diet? - fuck no i love food too much

If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? - “hey can we not be dicks to each other?”

Do you work? - nah but god i wish i was bc i need money

If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? - ngl my basic ass would pick sushi

Would you get a tattoo? - Yeeee

Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? - Pokemon games tbh

Can you drive? - Ye but not very well

When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? - This morning

What was the last thing you cried for? - ngl i’ve been crying over everything the past few days

Do you keep a journal? - Nah, i’m not interesting enough to have one

Is life fun? - If I’m with others, yes

Is farting in front of people irrelevant? - I mean, it’s a bodily function but it’s not a very socially acceptable one. i personally don’t care

What’s your dream car? - VW bug bc i enjoy the thought of people hitting each other when i drive by

Are grades in school important? - it’s very dependent on the situation. i personally feel like grades should only be a very high priority in one’s major field of study/related studies. However, grades shouldn’t take priority over one’s physical, mental, and emotional health.

Describe your crush. - he’s got these gorgeous eyes that change color. he’s tall and gives amazing hugs. he’s a phenomenal writer and is incredibly intelligent about such a variety of topics from music to writing to just about anything. he’s patient, loving, and funny. honestly he’s amazing and i fall more in love with him every day.

What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? - Alice in Wonderland. i hadn’t seen it prior to last week but just the animation and story-telling was just amazing to me

What was your last lie? - that the reason i didn’t want to go out was because of my stomach hurting

Dumbest lie you ever told? - not sure tbh

Is crying in front of people embarrassing? - not at all

Something you did and you are proud of? - Being recognized as a poet at my college’s poetry festival

What’s your favourite cocktail? - don’t really have one x.x

Something you are good at? - i like to think i’m okie at motivating others

Do you like small kids? - i’m okay with kids as long as they aren’t overly loud

How are you feeling right now? - a lil grumpy bc the ac isn’t on

What would you name your daughter/son? - Jason would be my son, Robin would be my daughter

What do you need to be happy? - Personal growth

Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? - ME TBH

What was the last gift you received? - some books from my bb

What was the last gift you gave? - UHHHH I DUNNO

What was the last concert you went to? - Twenty One Pilots

Favourite place to shop at? - Hot Topic, can’t even lie

Who inspires you? - My bb, mostly because i want to be up at his level when doing things

How old were you when you first got drunk? - Haven’t really gotten drunk-drunk yet

How old were you when you first got high? - 19

How old were you when you first had sex? - 19

When was your first kiss? - Freshman year of highschool

Something you want to do until the end of this year? - i would like to build my confidence

Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? - there is so much omg

Post a selfie. - UH I MAY NOT BC I’M GROSS AF RIGHT NOW

Who are you most comfortable around? - @thenerdyshadow and @shining-wonwoo

Name one thing that terrifies you. - BEING ALONE

What kind of books do you read? - mostly dystopian/adventure novels

What would you tell your 12 year old self? - “listen ya lil shit don’t complain about not being in a relationship”

What is your favourite flower? - Lilies

Any bad habits you have? - Cracking my knuckles holy shit

What kind of people are you attracted to? - Highly passionate, emotional people

What was the last thing you cried for? - MY LEAGUE RANKING NGL

Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? - i don’t think of anything off the bat but i’m very sensitive to the textures/aesthetics of food

Are you in love? - Yeee

Something you find romantic? - I love little gestures that show that someone is thinking about me like mentioning that they saw something that reminded them of me or like a long message in the middle of the night to wake up to

How long was your longest relationship? - 3 years 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? - that there’s something inherently wrong with liking stereotypically feminine things, that we are seemingly always in competition over something, that cattiness is almost expected??? like damn why can’t we be nice to each other 

What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?  - balls on the outside of the body are just not anatomically smart, fragile masculinity, the attack on boys who decide to deviate from the norm

What are you saving money for? - i have no money pls help me

How would you describe your bad side? - i get moody and tend to snap at people when i really don’t mean to. i will sometimes do things just to spite people/escalate a situation tho

Are you actually a good person? Why? - i personally don’t see myself as a good person because i’ve done plenty of shitty things that i knew that i shouldn’t have done

What are you living for? - The hope for a better future

Have you ever done anything illegal? - Yee

Do you like your body? - Not particularly

Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? - I have, mostly because the person was toxic

Ever sent nudes? -Ye

Have you ever cheated on someone? - i prefer not to answer this one

Favourite candy? - i love 3 musketeers

Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it! - uhhh mostly my friends blogs but i can’t really tag all atm

Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? - Online games i enjoy are Overwatch and League of Legends. I also enjoy Stardew Valley on PC.

Favourite TV series? - don’t really watch tv

Are you religious? Does God exist? - i’m personally not that religious, but i respect that people do have beliefs in high powers but should not infringe on others rights to not believe

What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? - i can’t even tell you what i read fully bc it’s honestly been that long

What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? - i commend others who are capable of making that lifestyle choice bc i know i could never do so. i’m fine with it so long as it isn’t shoved into my face

How long have you been on Tumblr? - probs 6-7 years? idk

Do you like Chineese food? - i am a slut for chinese food

McDonalds or Subway? Mcdonalds

Vodka or whiskey? Vodka (haven’t tried whiskey)

Alcohol or drugs? drugs (weed bc i haven’t done anything else)

Ever been out of your province/state/country? - I’ve only left my state. i’d love to leave the country one day

Meaning behind your blog name? - shitty Overwatch/Wonderwall pun

What are you scared of? - being abandoned by the people i love and being forced to live alone :^)

Last time you were insulted? - YESTERdAY

Most traumatic experience ? - my mother being a revolving door in my life and giving me severe abandonment issues 

Perfect date idea? - i love the idea of just a nice day together inside but going out at night to dinner and just exploring the world around us

Favourite app on your phone? - tumblr bc i can’t get away from this hellsite

What colour are the walls in your room? - they’re kind of white/brown/gray? it’s hard to explain tbh

Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? - i do! i watch mostly league youtubers though. i’ve been on a hardcore BunnyFuFu kick as of the last few days

Share your favourite quote. “I’m dying squirtle”

What is the meaning of life? - To be happy

Do you like horror movies? - I enjoy them in concept, but i’m bad at watching them ;-;

Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? - NAH FAM SHE MAdE ME CRY

Do you feel lucky or special in a way? - i guess but i don’t think i really deserve to

Can you keep a secret? - ye