#i know what i need to tackle next in therapy

[captain-noir]

just got off a conference call with the fam and by fam i mean cousins and grandparents and great uncles all coz my baby sister (22) rang my mother up, in tears coz her bitch ass manager yelled at her in front of customers. murder was plotted. an entire smear campaign was launched. doxxing was considered. my brother is on his way to the shop with the intention to get her fired. madness. literally spent the last hour of my work in the toilet trying to talk various family members off the ledge.

[rainbowtvz]

im going to fill out this pdf adhd assessment lol

[sophie-frm-mars]

I just wanna gush about DBT for a second

DBT saved my life so I'm gonna spend a moment telling everyone how helpful it can be because I know there are a lot of people with BPD out there who need to hear it.

so cluster B personality disorders are characterised by, among other things "unrelenting crisis" - this is the combination of the feeling that every small problem you encounter is just yet more insurmountable bullshit and the reality that you have a lot of bad shit going on in your life, some of caused by the wider world beyond your control and inevitably some of it self-inflicted. The problem is, to someone who is constantly activated and feels life as this kind of non stop catastrophe, it's really hard to practice skills learned in therapy to do anything about it AND it feels impossible to judge what is an appropriate thing to spend your energy on, where to even begin tackling your problems.

The group component of DBT is explicitly justified in the therapists' manual as tackling this, which I think is genius. A borderline patient will bring new problems to their therapist every week and not focusing on them will trigger feelings of abandonment but the patient will definitely have forgotten all about this problem and moved onto a new one by next session or the one after so you have two therapies, one talk therapy one-on-one and the other a group setting like a class where you learn the DBT skills, and then in the group setting no patient feels like they're being especially ignored by the therapist because they're all there to learn the skills as peers. I just think that's really clever

The bit that really whips though is the skills around Accumulating positive experiences and Building mastery. Okay so your life feels like shit, right? Like one shit thing after another? Your therapy is to have a nice time and get better at something in a way that makes you proud. There's a whole acronym for the skills you need to use to keep yourself well, ABC PLEASE, but C and PLEASE are all essentially preventative skills to stop you having an actively bad time or worsening your mental health, and A and B (Accumulate positive experiences, Build mastery) are the ones where you're proactively creating your life worth living and I love it so much.

Accumulating Positive Experiences really does just mean having a nice time in an intentional way. It can literally be watching TV, it can be whatever you want, but you approach it thinking about what will make good experiences that will actively make you feel like you are leading a life worth living. My girlfriend and I went to the planetarium and took edibles last month and it owns so hard that according to DBT that's therapy

Building Mastery is all about helping you get a sense of momentum and direction by improving at something, ideally something that isn't also what you do for work. I know "get a hobby" seems like such basic advice for helping someone out of a rough time but like I've been bouldering since early last year and seeing myself get better at it has been impossibly good for me.

I've been getting into cooking this year as one of my Building mastery practices, at first just regularish like "how can I feed myself in a way that feels like I'm showing myself care at all" like finally learning how to make some of the comfort foods I had in childhood like beef stew, or trying out new things on my very basic salmon, potatoes and broccolli, like teriyaki glaze on broccolli or making hasselback potatoes. Then after a while it became a thing where I felt confident enough to actually thing about a little project and do it like around when my gf and I started officially dating I made her roast lamb and dauphinoise potatoes (nothing photographs well, sorry in advance lol), or we started rewatching Twin Peaks and I really wanted cherry pie so I made my own, which I had never done before!

and at the same time as improving at that stuff I felt like I was good enough at it that cooking for other people was a way I could show them care, which was something I had always wanted but never put in the time to making a reality.

In The Endings Machine: Technology & Teleology I talked about how cooking vegan food in groups is more effective in several ways that going vegan yourself and afterwards my sister (who helped with recording) said to me and a friend "I've been thinking about this ever since filming, we should do this!" and we've been holding a rotating vegan group meal at other's places fortnightly since then, and it's been really good! (This idea btw was partly inspired by my time on the ZAD where communal living leads to group cooking on a rotation, mostly vegan) For the first one I made a spicy mushroom pasta, then I had to bring the dessert to one and I made a vegan chocolate tart with coconut milk instead of dairy making a coconut chocolate filling and it was SOOO good

Last week the vegan meal was at mine again and it fell on halloween so we invited more people and arranged a little spooky movie screening and I made SOOO much food and it was all fucking fantastic. My gf and I made dhal makhani, aubergine rice, parathas, vegan raita and onion bhajis and served them with some mango chutney and some oven-cook samosas that were just from big tesco. I'm so fucking proud of myself, I've never cooked this much before and it went so well! I guess what I really want to get across is how looking at this from the DBT perspective I gotta get across how good this shit is for your mental health and how absurdly well it dovetails with building community.

There are all sorts of other ways Accumulating positive experiences and Building mastery help, because DBT is a very holistic approach to helping people get better - like if you know what things you like doing and you plan them to be available to you, you know that you're going to be happy with your own company, which means if you're having a shit time around someone else you're happy saying "I would be having a better time being alone right now" and just leaving. That makes it easier to live up to your self-respect goals, which are a big part of the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills, as well as helping to tackle every cluster B girlie's deep seated fear of abandonment.

I could go on an on, but the salient thing right now is that there are a lot of people struggling with stuff I relate to as someone who has had my shit rocked by Borderline Personality Disorder for years and years, and I know that the biggest feeling at core is like "what is this all for? what is the thing that we are all trying to do in the space we are chaotically scrabbling to try to clear all the time?" and this is the answer: you want to accumulate positive experiences and build mastery, and when you get to doing it you have such a profoundly more grounded sense of being in the world, of what it is that's worth being here for and what stands in the way of life just being like that for everyone and a more meaningful drive to try and make it be that way for everyone.

I also wanna go on and on about how Interpersonal Effectiveness makes everyone better at organising too, but I think the Life Worth Living is the better sales pitch for DBT. idk in short a close friend pitched it to me a little while ago that all leftists should learn DBT and it would make the revolution way easier and the more I live of my life worth living the more I agree.

[digitalgirlguide]

Beyond Bubble Baths: A Realistic Guide to Wellness, Hygiene Hacks, Energy Cleansing, and the Art of Setting Healthy Boundaries

self-care as we know it has been reduced to retail therapy and splurging on skincare and the the essence of true well-being often gets lost in the noise of buying stuff.

you're not alone, i'm guilty of this too.if i'm sad i buy thing. i'm happy? i buy things.

and not saying that self care can't be buying yourself things because you feel like it but that's not a true reflection of self care.

self-care is a disciplined commitment to becoming the best version of yourself while tuning into your body's needs.

so what does realistic self care look like?

Take a few minutes each morning to set intentions for the day ahead.

practice gratitude by writing 3 things you're grateful for or using some of these prompts:

What are three things you are thankful for as you start your day? Consider the small details that often go unnoticed.

Recall a specific moment from today that brought a smile to your face or warmed your heart. Describe it in detail and express gratitude for that experience.

Think about any unexpected surprises or acts of kindness that came your way. How did they make you feel, and why are you grateful for them?

Before your next meal, reflect on the journey of your food from its source to your plate. Express gratitude for the nourishment it provides your body.

Organizing your day/week:

Plan with Purpose: Start your week with a glance at your calendar or planner. Note any upcoming deadlines, appointments, or social events. (A little prep goes a long way!)

Prioritize with Intent: Identify your top priorities for the week and break them down into manageable tasks. Tackling the most crucial items first ensures a sense of accomplishment. (Check off those big to-dos, and watch the momentum build!)

Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for various activities. This technique helps maintain focus and prevents the day from slipping away in a blur. (Time blocking = your new productivity bestie.)

Flexibility is Key: While planning is essential, leave room for flexibility. Life throws curveballs, and being adaptable ensures you can navigate unexpected changes with grace. (Embrace the spontaneity – it's the spice of life!)

Self-Care Slots: Intentionally carve out moments for self-care throughout the week. Whether it's a short walk, a cozy reading break, or a meditation session, these are non-negotiable appointments with yourself. (Because self-love is a crucial part of productivity.)

Schedule regular social activities to stay connected: Meaningful connections are the backbone of a healthy support system. (Humans need socialization – it's science!)

Hygiene tips for mind and body

Begin your day with a cleansing ritual that extends beyond the physical. Consider practices like meditation (Remember, a cluttered mind can be just as burdensome as a cluttered space.)

Incorporate energy cleansing techniques into your routine, such as using crystals (clear quartz, black tourmaline, amethyst, rose quartz, selenite) to clear negative energy from your surroundings. (Just as we dust and declutter our physical spaces, it's important to cleanse the energetic residue that accumulates throughout our day-to-day lives.)

Recognize the importance of setting boundaries and restricting access to yourself when necessary. (You're not obligated to be constantly available to others, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.) Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, who make you feel good and encourage you to be your best self. (Life is too short to waste time on relationships that drain your energy and diminish your spirit.)

Embrace a straightforward yet consistent skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize, and shield your skin from the sun – simplicity meets effectiveness.

Practice regular handwashing to ward off germs, especially before meals and after restroom visits. (Your hands will thank you, and so will your immune system.)

Simple ways to show up for yourself everyday

Practice self-compassion and forgiveness, recognizing that perfection is an illusion and mistakes are opportunities for growth. (We're all human, and it's okay to stumble along the way.)

Listen to your body's signals and honor its needs, whether that means nourishing yourself with wholesome food, getting regular exercise, or allowing yourself time to rest and recharge. (Your body is your greatest ally and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.)

Embrace moments of joy and playfulness, indulging in activities that bring you laughter and delight. (Life is meant to be savored, not endured.)

let's reshape the narrative of self-care into a journey of discipline, mindfulness, and attunement to our inner voices.

[lafamilledelioncourt]

I feel personally attacked reading your series. I never imagined I'd find a Claudia lives fic that doesn't bash Louis or rely on demonising every one. I don't even like Armand very much but you won me over! So excited for the next one!

ngl i had to let this sit in the ask for a while bc literally didn't know what to do with it. i'm so pleased you liked it, and i love my babies so v much.

while the series focuses on Claudia and her new life, LDPDL is my baby boy and i love him. i would never bash him unfairly, and i try v hard to give everyone equal opportunity accountability. Lestat gets his ass handed to him, Armand gets his ass handed to him, and even Claudia gets hers handed to her for all her actions across the series. everyone in this family is fucked mentally, and they all need therapy.

at the core of this series is a parentified child trying to make the most of a second chance at life. Armand and Claudia are incredibly similar in the books, and they serve as mirrors to each other. it's partly why Armand just can't deal with her in TVC because some part of him knows. i just ask a question with this series, what if he didn't allow her to die?

ADOC is the result, and i'm very proud of it. i didn't write for five years before this, and i feel like i've vomited out my soul in these past seven months since starting again.

part two is tackling a new deal and all the consequences that come with fucking around with Marius and Those Who Must Be Kept. the gang is going to have to find a way to survive it, and not all of them will. i don't get called le petit diable for nothing! thanks again, i'm going to save this to post on part 2 day! if you're seeing this, it's live!

-all my love, Ash

[kbookblurbs]

Wind and Truth - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archive #5)

4/5 - midseason-finale ass book; he needs to scrap this editor; this book simply never ends

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!! LIKE FIRST LINE!!!

We finally come to the end of the first arc of the Stormlight Archives and they are going to need a new name. Before we dive in, I want to clarify that I did enjoy this book! I think it tackled a series of very hard-to-conclude plotlines in a relatively good way, and I think it sets Sanderson up for success in the latter half of this series. With that said, I'll be splitting this review into four parts:

Kaladin, Szeth, & therapy speak

The Spiritual Realm plot

Azir

Book mechanics

Kaladin, Szeth, & Therapy Speak

Now first of all, anyone who's read anything I've written knows I love Kaladin - he's one of my favorite characters of all time and his journey through depression is one of my favorite parts of this series. That said. I find the whole timeline of this healing to be highly suspect, and his attempts at therapizing embarrassing at best and deeply annoying at worst. What context is there for him to go from literally attempting suicide in the last book to semi-competent therapist in no time at all? Need I remind Sanderson myself that there is no time skip between the end of RoW and WaT?

The language is also just bafflingly modern in a way that nothing in this series has been before, but we'll get to more on that later.

The flip side of this criticism is that Szeth's plotline was easily my favorite of the book. His completed arc might rise to rivaling Kaladin's (thus far) in terms of how much I enjoyed it. His backstory is so tragic (slay for the almost successful military coup though?) and I truly believed he wasn't going to make it through the book until the very last page. His moments with his father, in the past and present, brought me to tears more than once.

The Spiritual Realm Plot

This whole plotline took too long and frankly, it was boring. Watching Shallan slay her demons for the umpteenth time and deal with Formless again and kill her mother again was, and this may be controversial, not a very interesting plot point to me. She's done all this before. I feel that this book, as a whole, gave diminishing returns on her pagetime to character development ratio. I also don't feel that Shallan, with all her everything else, needed a Herald as a mother as another twist, but maybe that will be more relevant in the future. For that reason, and that reason only, I'll bite my tongue on criticizing it unnecessarily

While it was nice to see Renarin and Rlain get together, I have to admit that Renarin's POV didn't add much for me. I think Sanderson could have written the entire plotline for these two from Rlain's perspective and it would've been far more interesting since he is, in my opinion, the more interesting character between the two of them. Renarin's POV does not reveal anything that isn't already clear from other POVs.

I also just wanted more of Ba-Ado-Mishram. She was haunting the story but not present. I understand that's likely for later plot reasons, but it did make this section drag. Dalinar contributed to that but  we don't have time to get into that right now. I was happy he died though (long overdue, in my opinion).

Azir

Adolin #1 character of all time? The only one to save their assigned city and did it with 0 Radiants and the power of friendships? Nobody is doing it like him.

I loved the founding of the Unoathed and, particularly, Yanagawn's development. I'm really hoping that Yanagawn becomes a more important character in next major arc, since he was so sweet here.

I did not love that we spent probably 25% of the book in Azir fighting battles. Contrary to the opinion of Sanderson many fantasy authors, there is an upper limit on how many battles you can include before I get tired of reading them. There's only so many ways you can swing a sword or block a pike etc etc before I'm bored.

Book Mechanics

Overall, I find this concluding book to be much weaker than the other 4 in the series. Whereas it had seemed that the pacing was improving in Oathbreaker and Rhythm of War, here we were back to all over the place. While I liked that he split the plot into each day leading up to the contest, the timeline genuinely made no sense.

Beyond that, this entire book was filled with oddly YA-style prose that has never appeared in the Stormlight Archive until now. I think whoever edited this book must be different from the other four because, in my opinion, it was much too modern, not as tight, and frankly, not as good. And I know this might be controversial, but I did not think Maya calling Adolin a slut was funny. Why would she even use that word? Whore or prostitute would've been acceptable because they've been referenced here before but I found that example and others like it to be jarring.

Conclusion

I liked this book, but it's by a longshot my least favorite in the series. It was too long and frankly, some of the characters didn't even sound like themselves. I know that Sanderson can do better than this, but it leaves me a little wary for the next arc.

There's lots here I didn't cover (Jasnah my beloved, Sigzil! I'm in mourning) but this was already quite long. DMs / ask box are always open if you'd like to chat more.

[kanerlove88]

I am always thinking about post-canon RoyJamie. Roy moves out of his own way. All that work they put into becoming better people and becoming friends works out so well. They’re beautiful together, Roy and Jamie. Incredibly codependent and god, they’ll live under each other’s skin if they could but boy do they make it work. It baffles everyone around them but they don’t even realise it’s not normal to spend that much time around your partner. Freak4freak but very much in love about it.

They’re not perfect of course. They fight like any couple would. Probably more than most couple even. Neither of them are easy individuals. They both learned to hurt each other long before they ever fell in love and it shows sometimes. But they learn to give each other space, to take a breather when they’re furious. This understanding comes with time and a lot of therapy of course. They weren’t always so good at that but they learn to be patient with each other.

Even if talking about feelings always feels like pulling teeth, they force themselves to do it. It’ll never come naturally to them but it does become easier over time.

Anything they can’t solve themselves, they go to therapy for. They go to couples therapy because you don’t only need help when your relationship is falling apart. You’re gonna need help along the way and they know not to take that for granted. Both of them still see Dr Sharon individually too. They’re better off for it.

Jamie loves Phoebe. They get along like house on fire and it makes Roy so happy, to see his favourite people get along this way. It doesn’t take long before Jamie becomes Uncle Jamie. The next Uncle’s Day, Phoebe has two Uncles to celebrate and she tackles it with gusto. Jamie definitely will cry a little about it. That boy staring at his Roy Kent poster in his childhood bedroom could have never known that one day he’ll have all the love he could have ever asked for and it’d come from Roy Kent himself.

They’re it for each other, that much they both know. Roy worries, of course he worries. A 15 year age gap looks like a lot when you’re 40 and your partner is 25. Worries he’s too old for Jamie, that he’ll hold him back. He’s 40 and all he wants to do is stay at home and read a book cuddled up with Jamie but would Jamie want that too or would he be giving up nights out at clubs for him?

Jamie, who used to wake up at 4am to train with Roy. Jamie, who is very much aware of the age gap and has definitely thought about what it’ll be like as they both grow older. Jamie who would live in Roy’s ribcage if he could. Jamie who will choose Roy no matter what. Roy will understand soon enough. And what do you know? A 15 year age gap doesn’t look too bad when you’re 85 and your partner is 70.

Their wedding is beautiful. 2 years, maybe 3 years after getting together. Roy proposed but Jamie had a ring too. When they get married, every greyhound who has ever played under Ted will descend onto London, Ted included. It began with Roy and Jamie in the locker room, touching foreheads in anger and it ends with Roy and Jamie at the altar, touching foreheads, so in love with each other. Husbands. What a beautiful life they will live together.

[likeburningcoal]

The end is near! LMK season five episodes 9-10 spoilers below the cut!!

Oooh boy I’m gonna regret watching these right before I have to go be a functional human being with my family.

Mac stepping in last moment when even SWK was at a loss on what to do?!

Mac grabbing MK was a really cool sequence!

Mac’s fighting him to keep him away!!! Also it’s a little hypocritical considering he started this season with the self sacrificing.

“It doesn’t always need to be you!” Mac having some pre journey flashbacks but with a very different reason.

“Who’d you make a deal with?” “A deal?” I’m sensing more Mac backstory next season…

Bite him Mei!!

“If you’re sorry, then you know it’s the wrong thing to do, son!” Pigsy stop tearing my heart out challenge.

“Here goes nothing, make it count” what do you MEAN?!

Mac what did you do!!?

Nezha mech!!

Mei will mess you up!!

SWK tackling MK!!

Sick villain design

“Don’t make me do this” the parallels!!

“No kid, don’t make me” oooh! He’s not holding back now!!

The call backs to the first episode! MK and SWK fight but not like so many people theorized!! I’m screaming!

Is he binding MK to the mountain with the staff like he did DBK?!?!

Monkeys stop self sacrificing challenge

The fillet!!

The voice acting!!!

Everyone getting to be BA!!

“Wukong” Mac, as far as you know MK was the only option here, why are you more worried about SWK?

Lego stop having main characters being basically dead and talking to the most powerful being challenge.

“Did it…did it work?”

He’s so relieved!! MK!

‘I mean they’ll be reincarnated’ that was NOT the deal!!

Last episode here we go!!

“Cause he’s the monkie kid!!” Genuinely a great theme song!!

Chang’e! I was wondering when you’d show up for that shot!

Oh god, I paused on a shot of Pigsy crying. I am not okay.

SWK pleading!!

“There are none in the world strong enough to bear the stones” gestures to MK and his friends.

MK believes too much in his friends to let it end here!!

“It shouldn’t be up to you, and it definitely definitely shouldn’t be up to me!” Honestly I’d trust that choice to MK.

“Even if it all does ends in pain, that pain is ours!”

Hey has anyone read Stromlight Archives? Cause MK and Dalinar should talk.

I’m so proud of my boi!

“Na-uh, I’m the Monkie Kid!”

Monkey MK!!

Catch him!

“I got you!” The voice acting! I’m gonna cry!

Group hug!

Don’t cry MK!!

“Tang, it’s okay”

SWK reaching out to Mac!!!

Conveniently color coordinated stones for the conveniently color coordinated cast

*We’re all in this together from HSM starts playing in the background*

Bai He cameo!

Taking from she-ra’s book and solving everything with the power of rainbow

Mac is yellow from SWK, the shadowpeach shippers are screaming.

Flying bark reference!!

“I don’t wanna loose you”

I’m in tears

Mac with weird chaos powers now? Also Mac searching the underworld for answers??

Nezha helping rebuild Heaven!!

They made a party for MK

Chaos staff! And only Mac noticed?!

Tang speech!!

My only big complaint: Porty MK did not show up.

That was so good! Not sure it topped season 3 (my favorite season) but it was really good!! The Sandy episode is still my favorite just because I love the big blue guy, but it was all really enjoyable! I understand some peoples complaint about the animation, but we went from a S rank studio, there wasn’t any way it was gonna stay that good with a switch. And they kept with a lot of the style really well. (The rigging was a little rough sometimes but I’m sure with time it’ll get better, if not then I’ll be disappointed). Anyway, let MK rest, get him some therapy, tell Mac to communicate because I feel like that’ll be an issue next season, and get all three Monkey’s to stop self sacrificing please.

Now I can go unblock tags!!

[josphitia]

TigerCow HRT part 2

“Jo? The Doctor will see you now.”

Jo was walked by the nurse towards the same sparsely decorated room that Jo had been in just recently. Why were there no furnishings? Was it simply because Dr. Erian was that kind of man, considering himself too busy to be trifled with such concerns? Before Jo could give it much thought Dr. Erian sat before Jo. Between them was the only thing that seemed of any monetary worth in the entire office: An intricately designed desk of some wood that Jo, while not knowing the exact material, could surmise was very expensive.

“Ah, Jo. Nice to see you again. How have you been?”

“Jo has been okay. Have simply been waiting for call. Now am here.”

“I see your manner of speech is still… the same. If I may ask, is there any particular reason why you speak like that?”

“No. You may not ask. Is it not enough that Jo simply talks like this?”

“...I suppose. Okay. Well, I’m sure you can guess why I called you in. I’ve been working diligently on your request. Believe it or not, the easiest aspect was making the fur purple. Simply adjusting the amino acids until they produce the right combination of eumelanin and pheomelanin. No, as I said in our last appointment the hardest thing to tackle was finding the right balance between the carnivorous and the herbivorous. Too much of one, and you’re simply a striped cow with fangs. Too much of the other, you’re a tiger with hooves. Although, thank you for what you provided the nurse last visit regarding your own specific phantom feelings. While I may not be able to replicate it 100%, your form should be close enough to provide you relief. But anyway, last week I think I finally figured it out. I won’t bore you with the details but I feel I’ve developed an injection-model HRT that will provide you with the results you’re seeking.”

“Thank you, Doctor. It means a lot to Jo that you would work so hard.”

“Oh by all means, you’re quite welcome. I must admit at some point it became something of a challenge for me. I needed to figure it out just as much for myself as I wanted to for you. I wish I could have simply told you this over the phone, but due to those new laws they’ve been implementing, legally I’m only able to disclose information about your treatment in person. As well as requiring you to sign these forms.”

“More forms?”

“Yes, there’s always some new fear to stoke and it seems you therian folk are the next in the crosshairs. These forms simply state that you understand the risks inherent in Human Removal Therapy. That you are technically a unique species and thus are not protected by nor constrained by the current laws set in place for species that you may be, and I apologize this is their wording, ‘mimicking and/or adopting traits of.’ I assure you this is mostly legalese and a way to protect people from being sued.”

“Hrm. Okay…” Jo signed the papers, probably putting too much trust in the man. But he was the only barrier left to what Jo needed.

“Thank you! Now, I’ll go ahead and fax your prescription to your pharmacy as well as needles and syringes. I’ll fax the instructions as well. I’d like to see you again in about two weeks, to assess how you’re feeling about the preliminary changes. I’ll walk you out.”

-------------------------

Jo picked up their prescription as the pharmacist explained the dosage. 1 shot every other day for 3 weeks, then to speak to the doctor regarding upping or lowering the dosage. Enough in this vial to last 3 weeks.

Jo put on a MeTube video simply labeled “How to inject yourself! (For HRT purposes).” The instructions seemed simple enough. Jo filled the syringe, cleaned the area, and began to inject themselves in the way the video displayed. A rush of adrenaline filled Jo’s body as they pushed the thick liquid through the needle and into their body. A typical reaction to a needle prick, to be sure, but Jo liked to think it was their body's own excitement and eagerness as the new hormones rushing through the body.

Jo went to bed that night with thoughts of the tigercow they were soon to become filling every crevice of their mind.

________________________________

TigerCow HRT

First|Previous|Next

Another entry in TigerCow HRT. Hope people enjoy, thanks for looking!

[iam93percentstardust]

For the kiss prompts - heated kiss becoming soft for Stony 😘

Fren! This falls a little more towards desperate than heated, I think, but hopefully you'll still like it?

Warnings for: hospitals and broken bones

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

~

They transport Steve to the hospital as soon as the parking lot is a little clearer. They would have done it sooner, as soon as the game was over, but he isn’t so badly injured as to need to be immediately transported. And besides, he had wanted a few minutes to celebrate with his team before being moved.

They’d won. Champions, three years in a row!

Even the broken arm isn’t enough to upset him, though he’ll be furious if they don’t fine the other team or censure Rollins. Steve had already been in the endzone, the game over and won, when Rollins had tackled him, and there’d been more than enough time for him to stop.

Fortunately, it’s a clean break, the doctors declare. If he sticks to his physical therapy plan—and he will because he knows how much Tony will fuss if he doesn’t—he’ll make a full recovery and be just fine to play next year. “Wouldn’t want you to miss the draft,” one of the nurses says with a wink. They want to keep him overnight, though. He hadn’t immediately gotten back up after the tackle, too stunned to do much more than lie there, and for that alone, they want to keep him for observation. They get him set up in a private room with some of the good painkillers, turn down the lights, and leave him to his own devices.

Steve is bored within five minutes.

He’s straining to reach the TV remote on the bedside table when he hears Tony’s voice from down the hall, loudly declaring that he will set SI’s lawyers on this hospital if they don’t let him stay tonight, which empty threat or not, is still effective. Or, at least, Steve assumes it is, because the next thing he knows, the door to his room is flinging open, his gorgeous, furious, worried omega standing in the doorway.

“Steve,” Tony chokes out. He crosses the room in three long strides, seizes Steve’s face in his hands, and kisses him hard, almost desperately. His eyelashes are wet, and he keeps letting out these little sobs that break Steve’s heart. He makes a soft crooning noise into the kiss and lifts his uninjured hand up to cup Tony’s cheek, gentling the kiss until it’s not so much a kiss as it is breathing the same air.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly. “Hey, I’m okay.”

“You’re not,” Tony sobs, breath hitching. “I saw him hit you and then you didn’t get back up.”

Oh, sweetheart, he thinks to himself, heart aching.. He tugs on Tony’s shirt. “C’mon, come on up here with me.”

Tony gives him a worried look. “I don’t want to—”

“You won’t. Promise. Will you just get up here? I’ll worry about you more if you’re all the way over there.”

Tony gives him a look that says he knows exactly what he’s doing, but obligingly climbs onto the bed and tucks himself into Steve’s side. Steve wraps his arm around him, carding his fingers through his hair.

“I’m okay,” he says again. “It was a clean break.”

“You didn’t get up,” Tony whispers.

“He just knocked the wind out of me, that’s all. Hit my head pretty hard on the way down, but the docs are pretty sure it’s not a concussion.”

“They’re keeping you overnight,” Tony points out.

“For observation,” Steve refutes. Tony opens his mouth again, but Steve kisses whatever objection he was going to say out of his mouth. “Sweetheart. I’ll be fine. I should be right back to playing next year.”

Tony shivers and burrows closer to him. “You have no idea how it felt, seeing you like that.”

He can imagine. “Were you scared?” he asks gently. Tony will never admit it himself, but sometimes, he just needs to hear someone else acknowledge how he felt. Sure enough, Tony doesn’t say anything out loud, but he feels the smallest nod against his throat. “Oh, Tony, I’m so sorry I worried you like that.”

“I’m going to make sure Rollins never plays again,” Tony says fiercely. “Someone like that should never have been allowed out on the field.”

“Organizing a fatal car crash seems a little too mob boss for you,” Steve says mildly. To his relief, Tony snickers.

“No, you big goober.”

“And fixing his grades so he fails out is illegal.”

“You never let me have any fun.”

“I’m sure you can think of another way to stop him from playing,” Steve says. It’s maybe a little uncharitable, but Rollins still has two years left to Steve’s one, and he refuses to graduate without removing a threat like that off the field. Steve was lucky, he knows that, but what if it had been Harley, one of the freshman reserves on the team, who’d scored that touchdown?

Better to let Tony do whatever he’s going to do.

“You feeling better?” he asks after a bit, and Tony exhales deeply.

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks. I’m pretty sure I should have been the one comforting you though.”

Steve chuckles and kisses the top of his head. “We can trade, hmm?”

“Yeah, alright. Deal.”

[celestiall0tus]

Calm Before the Storm - Chapter 4 - Anniversary

Beginning || Previous || Next

            Emilie knocked on Adrien’s door. She grinned as she stepped inside and saw Adrien sitting on his couch, watching TV. She closed the distance and tackled him in a hug.

            “Oh, Adrien! You know what day it is?” Emilie cooed.

            “Uh, Tuesday?” Roarr said.

            Emilie blinked and stepped back. She looked down at Adrien as he transformed into Roarr.

            “Roarr? Where’s Adrien?”

            “Uh, you won’t be mad, will you?”

            “Roarr.”

            “Ok, ok. He headed out early to do… stuff.”

            Emilie’s shoulders dropped. “But… but we were supposed to hang out today. It was the one-year anniversary since Velze and we were reunited.”

            “Sorry, Emilie.”

            Emilie gave a weak smile before she left for Nathalie’s office. She peeked inside and saw Nathalie at her desk. She stepped lightly to Nathalie and sat in Nathalie’s lap.

            “To what do I owe this visit?” Nathalie teased.

            “Adrien is gone, and we were supposed to hang out today.”

            Nathalie groaned. “That boy, I swear. He needs to let go. It’s been a year. I swear, he’s too much like Gabriel.”

            “What more can we do? We’ve tried therapy, we’ve talked to him, but he’s not listening to anyone. I just… I don’t know what to do and he’s on the track of repeating Gabriel’s mistakes.”

            “I know. It may be time for drastic action,” Nathalie suggested.

            “What are you talking about?”

            “I need to think on it and see what would be the most appropriate course of action. Once I figure something out, I’ll be sure to let you know. You are his mother, so you should have a say in it.”

            Emilie smiled softly and leaned her head on Nathalie’s shoulder. “We’re his moms, Nathalie. Don’t forget now.”

            Nathalie smiled. “I haven’t, but you were here first. I owe it to you to have a choice as well.”

            Emilie sighed and kissed Nathalie’s cheek. “Thank you. Do you think, perhaps, we could spend time together? Our anniversary is a ways off, but it is also the day we were reunited as well.”

            “I’d love to.”

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[cali]

im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now

mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.

half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.

otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss

[beastabyss666]

You know as a former member of Vivziepop's cult and yes its a cult not a fandom anymore I am disgusted by a majority of the people in it.

Like someone on the subreddit brought up it being kinda tasteless or fucked that they sold sexy Stella merch in bdsm gear when she's abused Stolas physically. The post was deleted quickly and judging by my experiences in the fandom people were stanning Viv or harassing OP and that has got me thinking.

Why is Stella in bdsm gear? Like Stolas and Blitzo are canonically into it yet you give the abuser that...

Like isn't a bit fucked that instead of choosing the canonical practicioners in your show you choose to put someone who uses pain not to pleasure but to slowly break and hurt someone.

We know Vivziepop has a merch rep so how did that get into production?

I also find it fucked that Vivziepop and crew are attempting to tackle an issue as serious as domestic abuse and do it so poorly by writing Stolas and Stella as bickering children next we see them. Then the staff has the utter gawl to sell merch in general of Stella and the fans buying it up.

Like I understand autograph signings slightly but that's the only merch Stella should have.

Vivziepop's cult loves to claim that they utterly depise Stella and deserves to suffer because she's an abuser so how dare people want nuance or not just a generically evil cartoon villain but the moment she is drawn in a sexy way they start throwing money at that.

Like I just want to know how these people if their friends ask about the character on the pin will explain "Oh this is Stella who's a sexy domestic abuser"

Then again am I surprised when Vivziepop makes merch of a rapist and most of the crew have some weird fascination with Valentino and not in the way that he's their best written villain way more like they are simping over him.

I think a lot of fandoms, especially nowadays, have a lot of genuinely bad people who really need help/therapy but see nothing wrong in what they do or just keep doing that, though they know it ain't okay. That's so frustrating when you can't feel comfortable even in an Internet community. But Viv's "fandom"(I mean exactly these two shows, although Zoophobia also had...... not very pleasant people) is surely something... Where'd you find so many blatantly oblivious and blind brown nosers which keep pretending everything's good when there's already tons of red flags from Vivienne? Yeah, that's a rare case. I don't wanna interact with this fandom or even talk about it, tbh. I still watch the show cuz it's fun to see how it manages to be worse with every episode, though sometimes I don't make reviews as many other people do it faster and better and I just have nothing to say(I need to take my jaw from the floor). Regarding Stella – well, I don't know on what principles Viv or her team makes merch with the characters, but aren't all characters being sexualized anyway? They even have merch with Chaz, a guy who, like, died in the same episode. And they keep doing new merch with this jerk. And that's obviously because there are people who simp for him. I don't know if Stella's merch may be an insult to those who practice BDSM, I'm not into it, tbh, and I don't take these things seriously, but I find this just a bland sexualisation. Well, it's "sexy merch", but yeah, Stella's all character is based on being a mean aggressive yelling bitch, and this thing....... it must be a character trait, I guess? Or just a sweet treat for rule34 artists, like most of the stuff Viv does. Again, I don't take all of this seriously, this sexy merch was made to tease and please the simping fans, but there's certainly a part of irony in it. Like, people in this fandom hate Stella so much that they shit on people who simply want her to be a more complex character, and they're........ still buying all this stuff. They........ enjoy Stella being "hot dommy mommy" and still keep hating her? Ngl, only Viv's fanbase can do that, lol. I've seen this fandom from the start and I can say that many people here always had some weird obsession with Valentino. I even remember some person passive aggressively telling me that "he's just very charismatic and it's your problems if you can't see it". When there were, like........ A musical clip and a comic where he just was being an abusive jerk. Yeah, that's a really weird fascination. Also, doesn't one of HH's crew, who is an animator or a director(don't remember correctly), has a rape fetish and has drawn an animatic on their beloved ship Angel/Val? Hella ironic that a show about serious portrayal of trauma and abuse has a crew member(or members) which legit....... find it hot or cute. That's sick af but I guess Viv doesn't care who she hires. Oh, that's definitely not a pit I would like to fall in. I'm not sure there's any hope on Hazbin portraying trauma or mental illnesses properly, but I'll still watch it anyway. Whenever it comes out....

[cecekeating]

My 612 Jordayla Analysis/Commentary and Breakdowns pt 4

Thank you TV gods for giving me a Layla/Laura moment. I will eat the crumbs the writers threw at me today. I loved seeing Laura share a moment with Layla and Jordan. I would have loved a conversation bit like I said, I will take the crumbs. The moment Laura is out of earshot, Jordan lets Layla know that they need to talk. Jordan explains that he didn’t want to bring the conversation initially because she is in a much better place. Again, shoutout to the writing for continuity. Jordan is still thinking about Layla and being super considerate about her mental health.  Layla on the other hand wants to know if he has cold feet. She lets him know that he can tell her if he does. I thought this was super sweet. She wants to be there for Jordan and she is making an effort to create a safe space for Jordan, just like he has always done for her. Jordan assures her that he is fine but they need to talk about their future. 

This was where I heaved a sigh of relief. Layla has actually been thinking about the future and proactively got a place for them already. So do you see where the look she shared with Jordan in 606 comes in? She also confirms onscreen for the audience that she wants to have children “eventually”. That “eventually” line is kinda giving “sooner than later” to me. I mean is it a Jordayla storyline if stuff doesn’t happen earlier than expected?

Now there is also something I picked from this scene. As I watched, I felt this scene was hinting at the dynamic of Jordayla as a married couple. In this episode we saw Jordan worry about the future and we also saw something similar in episodes 602/603. It was even a point of contention and he admitted that he was so focused on the future that he forgot to just live in the moment with Layla. So it looks like the writing is sort of establishing a tendency for Jordan to be in over his head about wanting the best for his family and spiraling about it. This episode and previous episodes have not tackled this, leading me to suspect that this might be something he will struggle with in marriage, especially if Jordayla has a child. I can see him trying his hardest to be the best husband and father and being overwhelmed by it. This can be tied to his relationship with Billy. Because when you look at Jordan as a character, a lot of his fears and insecurities stem from Billy and how he parented Jordan. I have always felt the writing never tackled this and having Jordan navigate this in marriage makes perfect sense. 

Now for Layla, she will be going into marriage very much aware and informed. Therapy brought to light many of the issues she had with her parents and how she was raised and so in marriage, she is likely going to be the one supporting Jordan. Remember earlier in the write up I said Jordan has an understanding of Layla’s childhood and how it affected her as a teenager and an adult. This may mean that Layla would be more stable to handle parenting than Jordan since she has worked through her issues. Jordan hasn’t done so yet. So their season 6 dynamic may likely flip with Layla playing more of a support system for Jordan. That is why in this episode, we had her already do some proactive work to alleviate Jordan’s worry. Remember that she now understands that she and Jordan are a team. She told him that she has “got him” and “they are in this together” so if s7 has Layla support Jordan as he navigates being a husband and father, know that the seeds were planted here. 

Of course we don’t know NK’s plan for s7 but based on the writing, this is what I can see happening. 

Okay, that is all the yapping for this episode. I will be back with a lotta yapping once the wedding is aired and best believe, I am going to say all that I can remember. Thank you for supporting me, Jordayla Nation! There is no fandom I’d rather be in than with you guys! 

Next stop, the JORDAYLA WEDDING!!

[lost-amongst-the-stars]

Therapy recap

We started off talking about the horrible winds and cold. Then we talked about our neurologist appointment this morning. It started with the NP but the doctor ended up joining halfway through. I'm being referred for an MRI of my neck and some PT which will hopefully help with migraines.

Then we talked about resuming work on the journal project. That we've reached the point when we started working on this which has led to some inception-y moments of being reminded of things we'd forgotten we'd remembered we'd forgotten.

Then we talked about what prompted resuming the project which was realizing we've been really avoidant of parts stuff outside of therapy. It's easy to recognize the little ones bc they are so obviously different (voice, mannerisms, etc) that it would be hard to ignore them. But outside of the little ones, we operate as if we are consistently one part the rest of the time. And now that we're through the unending traumaversaries of fall and early winter, I think it's time we start trying to be more aware of ourselves. C asked me about adult parts who are around and my answer was basically ??? cuz I know very little about our adult parts.

So we have therapy homework. We're to a pick a day to check in hourly. If I'm present, I'm to write down what I remember of the previous hour. If another part is doing the check-in, they can write whatever they want. Or not write anything if they don't want to participate. And at the next check-in I'm present for, I can look back and write down what I remember.

Towards the end I brought up our compulsive hand washing. I explained that it's becoming more of a problem with the cold weather cuz now our hands are cracking and bleeding more. I told C that, by my estimates, we wash our hands at least 20-30 times while cooking and at least 50 times over the course of a day. And I know it's too much. But I don't know how to do it less. I explained that it's a mix of sensory stuff and contamination fears. After talking over some options with C, we agreed that we'll probably need to tackle this from multiple angles. Exposure therapy and distress tolerance could be helpful for the contamination fears but likely wouldn't help with sensory issues. And some CBT looking at the fears behind the hand washing could also help.

At the end, C informed me they'll be on vacation next week but we were able to schedule an extra session for next Saturday.

[sillylovesongsk]

Has anyone ever thought that the reason why we love Heartstopper so much is because it’s so refreshing to see healthy, pure and affirming queer relationships?

This is what I longed for growing up as part of the LGBTQ+ community. I longed to see healthy relationships on TV because all I wanted was a healthy and accepting environment in my life (since books and media were my constant escape and refuge). Growing up with Queer As Folk, The L World, ATWT (Luke/Noah), Hollyoaks, Skins and even Glee made me think that this was what I was bound for in my teenage/adult life… full of toxic relationships and unsafe environments.

It’s so nice to see that this is what the next generation is getting, that they’re getting to see acceptance and patience at its fullest. Even if the heteronormative society we lived in deprived many of us from having this kind of beautiful young queer intimacy and experience (yeah ik, we have nostalgia and we’re mourning), we should still acknowledge the fact that things are getting better for future generations. I’m just so happy for all the queer young people that get to have this positive experience, and how this positive LGBTQ+ representation that’s happening, will change so many lives.

I cry tears of joy because we get to see more of that patient and accepting mentality from Charlie (when it comes to coming out) and none of that “if you love me, you will not hide me” mentality that was so frequently seen in media and so present in many queer relationships.

Also, it’s comforting that Nick really cares about Charlie and wants to protect him, not by being Charlie’s superhero or savior with a fixing mission, but just by being patient and allowing Charlie to open up to him… giving him space to fully let him in on his own time. Not by telling him “you need to stop doing this, you need to stop hurting yourself”, but telling him “can you promise to tell me if it ever gets that bad again?”. Which makes me think he knows that he won’t be able to fully stop it (because that’s how it is with people that have disorders and depression, it doesn’t help for people to force us to just “get better and not hurt ourselves”), but he knows he can be there for him to make the path to recovery or stability easier.

Seeing the slow and patient way in which Tara and Darcy allowed each other to open up, and not leave at the first sign of “trouble” but tackled it through open communication makes me happy.

The way they handled the relationship between Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ayaji was on point, exemplifying perfectly how you can still have nice first-time experiences at any point in your life, regardless of you realizing that you were queer later in life.

It makes me cry (sometimes happy tears and sometimes sad tears) when I see most of the parents being a safe place for their children and allowing them to trust in them because of that safe environment they’ve created.

While writing this I realized that the reason why I’ve read so much fanfiction since I was very young (8 yo, that’s nearly 20 years now) is because we got to create and read these stories where we imagined safe and healthy relationships that we didn’t get to live and see in real life or media most of the time. I think the reason I love Heartstopper so much is because of how similar it is to any of those wholesome fanfics that I took refuge in back when I was younger and living in the closet.

It has everything I wished to have back then and everything I wish to have at one point in life:

Family fully accepting you

Healthy and safe family (non-chosen and chosen family)

Partner being patient and supportive

Protecting those you love

Open communication that I’ve always craved for in all relationships in my life (romantic and platonic)

Giving light and acknowledgment to the struggles each character lives but not making it their whole personality (because we’re more than those struggles… something I’ve come to learn after so many years in therapy. I’ve suffered domestic abuse, bullying, depression, anxiety, EDs, among so many other things my whole life and I’m more than all of that and it isn’t my whole personality).

I just think that these are some of the reasons why we love Heartstopper as much as we do. What do you all think?