#i know what i need to tackle next in therapy

[captain-noir]

just got off a conference call with the fam and by fam i mean cousins and grandparents and great uncles all coz my baby sister (22) rang my mother up, in tears coz her bitch ass manager yelled at her in front of customers. murder was plotted. an entire smear campaign was launched. doxxing was considered. my brother is on his way to the shop with the intention to get her fired. madness. literally spent the last hour of my work in the toilet trying to talk various family members off the ledge.

[rainbowtvz]

im going to fill out this pdf adhd assessment lol

[cakelitter]

Eternally Loved

Yandere/Corrupt! Leon x Fem! Reader

warnings: dead dove do not eat, daddy kink, oral (f receive), p in v

summary: He needs to protect you, to keep you his. You’re too brittle for anyone else, they wouldn’t know what to do with you. Only he deserves you, he is the only one that knows how to handle you. Yes, yes, only him.

words: 3.3k

a/n: this idea has been in my head for a while now and I had to get it out of my system. Enjoy!! <33

Leon never thought he’d end up like this… actually he did. Orphan since the ripe age of seven, spent the rest of his upbringing in the shitty foster care system, started police academy which surprisingly wasn’t that bad compared to some situations he was in. And just when he thought things are starting to look up for him after he graduated, he finds himself in the virus outbreak in Raccoon City.

Out of the many cities and towns he could’ve chosen to work in, he chose Raccoon city. Not even assigned or forced; for once in his life, he had the privilege of choosing what to do, and look what that got him.

After barely making it out alive, he goes back to what’s familiar. Getting forced to do shit he never signed up for. Working as an agent for the government, the right hand of the president of the United States of America, what a fucking honor.

It’s like he’s allergic to happiness, sentenced to a life of misery since the day he was dragged into this world. He’s in his late thirties now, living alone, eating alone, drinking alone, sleeping, crying, smiling, fighting, all alone.

Sherry visits from time to time, and that’s the only occasion where he feels like he’s not fighting the urge to jump off a cliff. It’s a once-a-year sort of occasion though, but that’s good enough for him. Christmas for Leon is the day that Sherry visits, the only thing he looks forwards to each year.

Claire visits too, but mostly to make sure he isn’t dead, taking his medication and going to therapy. He swears he does, even though he doesn’t. All the therapists he tried always look at him, overwhelmed on what to tackle first. Taking him apart and dissecting his brain like he’s some sort of lab rat.

He knew that not getting help was going to catch up to him someday. Although he expected it to backfire on him, like a bullet to the head or giving up on fighting whatever bioweapon he’s facing, letting it end his suffering before he does it himself. Instead, you’re now passed out in the backseat of his car.

He was having a bad day, well, every day is a bad day when you’re Leon Kennedy. Driving slowly back to his place, and you just so happened to be walking out of your college campus. Backpack on your back, your eyes glued to your phone, you’re not even paying attention to your surroundings.

How irresponsible.

You’re a sweet thing, really. So young and full of life, enough to brighten up his dark and dingy days, he can sense it. You look loved, pampered and cared for, something he lacked. He’s sure that you have enough love inside of you to share it with him, life hasn’t robbed you of your youthful smile and bright eyes. How funny would it be if he just… took you.

Apparently to him it was fucking hilarious cause, next thing you know he parked his car and is making his way to you. Kidnapping you was fairly easy; you were already walking on an empty street when he made up his mind to borrow you for a bit. You fought back, trying to free yourself from is hold. A for effort, but it wasn’t enough for him to let you go.

A few empty threats while putting you in the back of his car were enough to shut you up, so fucking gullible. Cried your heart out as he drove, honestly you were kind of an ugly crier, plus you were making him feel bad so it’s starting to get on his nerves.

Eventually though, you pass out from hyperventilating. Very dramatic, like he could’ve done worse. He has a pistol attached to his hip at all time and didn’t even pull it out once to scare you. Fine he was kidnapping you, but gently, so can’t you be grateful for that?

That was five months ago, and since then you’ve gotten better. At first, you’d repulse every time he came closer to you, tears rapidly brimming in your eyes, pleading whispers asking him not to hurt you. He wasn’t going to in the first place, he wanted someone to soothe the aching loneliness in his heart, that’s why you’re here.

There is a difference between a pathetic unloved loser, and a psychopath. He never hurt you, not even once, ever since that fateful day when he laid his eyes on you.

He did have to scare you a few times though, but again all empty threats; like he’s going to hurt your family if you think about screaming or even considering escaping. Shit he sees in movies.

Again, first time kidnapping someone, he’s a little nervous. Funnily enough, he didn’t even know your name back then, let alone your parents’ name. But it got the job done of keeping you in line.

Now he does know your name, it’s pretty just like you, it suits you. But he doesn’t use it, calling you pet names is better, helps him live the fucked-up fantasy of the two of you being in love. His sweet baby, always waiting for him back home.

Truthfully, he treats you fairly well for someone who kidnapped you. Asking what you want to eat, making effort to learn your interests and hobbies, even buying you small gifts that you might like from time to time.

And after a few weeks, you started accepting him. Asking him questions about himself, snuggling up next to him while watching a movie, and begging him not to leave for work. As much as he appreciates the fact that you actually care for him now, he’s aware that this is all a trauma response. Stockholm syndrome is a blessing in this particular situation; as long as a part of you has accepted him and loved him, is all he’s asking for.  

You’re a curious little thing, questioning him about his past, present and future, what’s his job and why he sometimes disappears for days. He should get pissed, and put you in your place, but you’re too cute to cry so he answers vaguely. Besides, it’s nice to have someone be interested in learning about you, feels like ages since he experienced that.

All you know about him is his name, just his first name, that he saves the world in order to protect you, and that he would never hurt you; and that’s exactly all he wants you to know. You feel like a chance for him to start from scratch, a breath of fresh air, totally and utterly clueless on what kind of shit he sees and has seen outside the walls of his apartment.

He has noticed however, how you seem to get dumber and dumber by the day. Well, no shit you’ve been spending majority of the past five months alone staring at the different walls facing you. Your past life becoming noting more than just a distant memory, fading away with each second.

Now all of your focus and knowledge is about Leon, Leon, Leon, Leon. The man you once feared becoming the axis of your world, he can even consider himself your hero with the way you’re treating him.

The name Leon however is a name you’re not allowed to say out loud, just like he uses pet names to address you, you are expected to do the same. Leon is dead now, Leon is the man that kidnapped you. Daddy however, keeps you safe from this scary world.

You’re not allowed to go outside because people will try to hurt you, so you should always be with daddy. You’re not allowed to have your family come over, because they will try to take you away from daddy. You’re not allowed to dwell on the life you once lived, because that makes daddy upset, you would never want to make daddy upset right?

Daddy always knows best, so you should always listen to him. Is the foundation he used to build his castle, no, empire in that pretty head of yours.

Truth be told, Leon has been obsessing over you as well. Kidnapping you at first was just to fill the gaping hole in his heart. But now if you get even a tiny papercut, he goes crazy.

Managed to slither into his tattered heart and grew your ivy all over it. His life has been better since you were yanked into it.

“Thank you, daddy.”

“Please daddy.”

“Love you, Daddy.”

Fuck, he can hear your voice when you’re not even there.

The eerie quietness of his apartment is now gone, replaced with the sound of the TV in the living room, with you sitting on the couch in his shirt. His bed is no longer cold and empty, your body is there to warm it up, your scent making it feel more comforting.

He needs to protect you, to keep you his. You’re too brittle for anyone else, they wouldn’t know what to do with you. Only he deserves you, he is the only one that knows how to handle you. Yes, yes, only him.

You begged him to let you out just once, promising you’d never try to run away. He honestly forgot that was something he needed to worry about. You’d never run away, even if you wanted to. Fucked you up so bad, your entire sense of self, morality, and survival instincts in shambles.

Was going to say no, and remind you of the rules. But you asked so politely and have been such a good girl lately. Surely you deserve a reward other than his cock.

And so, he takes you to the park, your eyes looking around like you have never seen trees before. Everything is going fine, you’re behaving, and he’s relaxing. Deciding to buy the two of you ice cream, he leaves you for not more than two minutes to buy it at the nearby stand.

That’s when a guy that seems about your age, starts talking to you. Discomfort and fear are written all over your face.

“Rule number 17, no talking to anyone besides daddy.”  Is what he can assume you mind keeps repeating, your lips are sealed, biting on them, not letting a word leave your mouth and praying that he leaves you alone.

As soon as you spot Leon looking over at you, he can see you start to tremble in fear.

That person is trying to take you away from him, everyone tries to take things he loves away from him. No no, not you, anything but you. He’s definitely going to hurt you, what if he has a knife? What if he recognizes you from the missing person’s report your family posted all over town.  

Such an idiotic move by the way, if anyone did find you, they would never give you up.

The day didn’t end the way he hoped, he dragged you back home after shooing away the guy that was talking to you, his fists clenched so hard, they’re almost cramping. Blinded by rage, he threw a whole fit once you made it back home. Throwing items across the room, yelling and screaming at you; he couldn’t even recognize himself at this point.

It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t break any of the rules, and he knows that. This is simply his paranoia acting up, it’s his issues acting up.

You start having a panic attack, hyperventilating and crying. Seeing you like this causes a switch to flip in his head. And so, he approaches you slowly, wrapping you in his arms, one of his hands rubbing your back gently and planting soft kisses on the crown of your head.

“I’m sorry, baby. Daddy’s here, daddy would never hurt you.”  Whispering into your hair. “You know I love you right? My sweet angel, always such a good girl f’me”

Breathing starts to become more regular, and you stop sobbing, hugging him back and seeking comfort from the same person that you should hate with a burning passion. Taking in a deep breath, he holds you, patting your hair and humming a tune.

“Did I scare you, baby?” he asks after a little while. “Yeah…”

He’s disappointed in himself; thought he left that behavior back in the past, when he didn’t know how to deal with you. “You know I didn’t mean that right? I just care for you, that guy could’ve been dangerous, sweetheart.”

 Your head nods against his chest, your arms tightening around him. “How about you let daddy take care of you baby? How does that sound?” you nod again, causing his lips to curl up into a smile.

Pulling away, he grabs your chin and tilts it up. Your watery eyes lock with his, some tears still wetting your cheeks. “My pretty girl.”

Bending down, he kisses one of your wet cheeks, caressing it with his thumb. Chapped lips then drop down to yours, kissing them gingerly. It starts off as sweet, then he amps up the fierceness of it. You moan into his mouth, hand grabbing his shirt in your fist, holding him in place.

Flattered by your eagerness, he continues. Cornering you against the dining table, hands making their ways to your hips, easily lifting you up and setting you back down. His lips wrap around your bottom lip, kissing and tugging on it with a delicate bite.

He grabs your arms that are desperately clinging onto his chest, and holds them in a firm grip as his lips move to your neck. Littering your neck with hickeys and love bites, one of his favorite activities.

It’s a shame that they go away though, but that’s just another excuse to give you more. Purple flowers blossoming on your neck when his lips detach from the skin. He can smell the scent of his shampoo in your hair, drives him crazy all the time.

Your eyes close, breathy moans escaping those doll lips of yours. If kissing you to death could kill you, you’d be long gone by now. Lips dripping with maple, and sweet like honey; only a matter of time before he gets cavities.

One of his hands pushes you lightly to lie down on the surface beneath you, hands travelling up your plush thighs. He spreads you out, hiking your pink dress up, exposing your soaked panties. The sight making blood rush to his cock.

Dropping down to his knees, he marvels at the sight in front of him, urging him to lick his lips as his mouth feels dry. Hooking his finger into the gusset of your panties, he swiftly pulls them off, watching as your wet cunt glistens with need.

He blows some air onto your core, causing your knees to quiver and your breath to hitch. Looking down at him, your brows furrow in irritation as he sits and does nothing.

“Daddy, please…” God, that whining, how he loves it.

“Let daddy enjoy the view for a bit, sweetheart.” Knowing you can’t argue back, you rest your head back on the table. He notices that you’re obeying, and rewards you with his thumb running up your slit before circling your clit.

Slick begins to drip even more from your aching cunt, while your hips squirm trying to get as much friction as possible. Removing his finger, he leans closer and flattens his tongue against your pussy savoring your taste.

Rough hands wrap under your thighs then rest on your hip, pulling you to the edge of the surface. He presses his face fully against your wet heat, feverishly sucking and licking your sensitive bundle of nerves, before pushing his tongue into your hole, nose bumping against your clit.

Groaning at the taste, he eats you like a man starved. You on the other hand, in pure bliss. Eyes closed, mouth open, letting those adorable sighs and moans slip through your lips. Chanting daddy over and over like he isn’t between your thighs.

Your hands claw at anything and everything you can reach, settling on your breast, giving it a light squeeze making Leon’s heart ache with jealousy. Pulling his mouth away, he gathers spit in his mouth before letting it drip down onto your cunt.

Thighs begin to squirm at the feeling of the warm fluid dripping from your clit and down to your entrance. “Fuck, so fucking sexy.”

Dropping back down, he connects his mouth back between the apex of your thighs. Eating you out with determination, passion, and like his life depends on it. Pulling the hood of the clit back and sucking, making your hips jolt in pleasure.

“Prettiest girl, got the prettiest dolly pussy. Can’t wait to fuck this tight hole full of my cum.” You’re so into this, it’s adorable, he’s practically drowning down here.

Only a few seconds later, you come undone on his tongue. Legs shaking, eyes rolling to the back of your head. He moves back, stubble completely drenched and swollen pink lips. His dick throbs with need, as he roughly palms it through his jeans.

Standing back up, he begins to unbuckle his belt, the sound of the jingling snapping your out of wherever that orgasm sent you off to. Pulling out his thick cock, he gives it a few strokes, watching as precum gathers on the head of the tip.

He sucks in a breath of air, and looks back over at you. Eyes on his dick like it’s the first time seeing it, like he doesn’t dick you down every night till your fast asleep.

“Can daddy fuck this pretty little pussy baby?” he says, slapping the sticky tip against your mound, watching the invisible strings connect the two surfaces with lust and desire. You nod, biting your lip and gawking at what he’s doing.

“Of course he can, this slutty cunt can never say no to dick now can she?” he chuckles lowly. “Always so fucking needy and wet.”

Wasting no time, he slots himself between your folds and thrusts all the way in. You let out a yelp while he moans at the stretch. All of your thinking skills being replaced by thoughts of his dick, and it’s very evident on your face.

He grins, watching you through hooded eyes. “Pull that dress down a bit sweetheart, let me see those tits.”

You comply, pulling the material covering your breasts down, leaving you top naked in the absence of your bra. His calloused fingers twinge the stiff peaks as his hips begin to move.

He’s so deep in you, you can feel his dick in your throat, not like that’s an unfamiliar feeling anyways. He starts off relatively slow, to compensate for the way he plunged into you. But that tenderness quickly vaporizes as he begins to slam into you, the sound of skin slapping and the smell of sex filling the room.

The way your tits bounce with each thrust, the way you keep licking those lips, and the way you keep sucking him in are not doing you any favors of making him give up the idea of pouncing on you like a dog.

Holding back his moans is getting nearly impossible with your velvety walls squeezing his cock; each time his skin grazes your swollen clit. In attempts of shutting the two of you up, he crashes his lips against yours in a messy kiss.

His hand sneaking into the space between the two of you and stimulating your abused clit. And in return, you wrap your legs around his torso.

All it takes is a few rough circles on your pudgy bundle of nerves and a few strokes on the sweet spot inside your walls for you to be cuming yet again. This time however dragging him along with you. He lets out a broken moan as your walls milk every drop of cum out his balls, making him see stars.

Thrusting into you a few more times. He notices the sight of the familiar white ring surrounding the base of his cock before pulling out with a nasty slick sound.

He moves towards your sprawled out body, and wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. Kissing your jaw, and rubbing the small beads of sweat on your forehead.

“Daddy’s Girl.”

divider by: @/cisneroto

[sophie-frm-mars]

I just wanna gush about DBT for a second

DBT saved my life so I'm gonna spend a moment telling everyone how helpful it can be because I know there are a lot of people with BPD out there who need to hear it.

so cluster B personality disorders are characterised by, among other things "unrelenting crisis" - this is the combination of the feeling that every small problem you encounter is just yet more insurmountable bullshit and the reality that you have a lot of bad shit going on in your life, some of caused by the wider world beyond your control and inevitably some of it self-inflicted. The problem is, to someone who is constantly activated and feels life as this kind of non stop catastrophe, it's really hard to practice skills learned in therapy to do anything about it AND it feels impossible to judge what is an appropriate thing to spend your energy on, where to even begin tackling your problems.

The group component of DBT is explicitly justified in the therapists' manual as tackling this, which I think is genius. A borderline patient will bring new problems to their therapist every week and not focusing on them will trigger feelings of abandonment but the patient will definitely have forgotten all about this problem and moved onto a new one by next session or the one after so you have two therapies, one talk therapy one-on-one and the other a group setting like a class where you learn the DBT skills, and then in the group setting no patient feels like they're being especially ignored by the therapist because they're all there to learn the skills as peers. I just think that's really clever

The bit that really whips though is the skills around Accumulating positive experiences and Building mastery. Okay so your life feels like shit, right? Like one shit thing after another? Your therapy is to have a nice time and get better at something in a way that makes you proud. There's a whole acronym for the skills you need to use to keep yourself well, ABC PLEASE, but C and PLEASE are all essentially preventative skills to stop you having an actively bad time or worsening your mental health, and A and B (Accumulate positive experiences, Build mastery) are the ones where you're proactively creating your life worth living and I love it so much.

Accumulating Positive Experiences really does just mean having a nice time in an intentional way. It can literally be watching TV, it can be whatever you want, but you approach it thinking about what will make good experiences that will actively make you feel like you are leading a life worth living. My girlfriend and I went to the planetarium and took edibles last month and it owns so hard that according to DBT that's therapy

Building Mastery is all about helping you get a sense of momentum and direction by improving at something, ideally something that isn't also what you do for work. I know "get a hobby" seems like such basic advice for helping someone out of a rough time but like I've been bouldering since early last year and seeing myself get better at it has been impossibly good for me.

I've been getting into cooking this year as one of my Building mastery practices, at first just regularish like "how can I feed myself in a way that feels like I'm showing myself care at all" like finally learning how to make some of the comfort foods I had in childhood like beef stew, or trying out new things on my very basic salmon, potatoes and broccolli, like teriyaki glaze on broccolli or making hasselback potatoes. Then after a while it became a thing where I felt confident enough to actually thing about a little project and do it like around when my gf and I started officially dating I made her roast lamb and dauphinoise potatoes (nothing photographs well, sorry in advance lol), or we started rewatching Twin Peaks and I really wanted cherry pie so I made my own, which I had never done before!

and at the same time as improving at that stuff I felt like I was good enough at it that cooking for other people was a way I could show them care, which was something I had always wanted but never put in the time to making a reality.

In The Endings Machine: Technology & Teleology I talked about how cooking vegan food in groups is more effective in several ways that going vegan yourself and afterwards my sister (who helped with recording) said to me and a friend "I've been thinking about this ever since filming, we should do this!" and we've been holding a rotating vegan group meal at other's places fortnightly since then, and it's been really good! (This idea btw was partly inspired by my time on the ZAD where communal living leads to group cooking on a rotation, mostly vegan) For the first one I made a spicy mushroom pasta, then I had to bring the dessert to one and I made a vegan chocolate tart with coconut milk instead of dairy making a coconut chocolate filling and it was SOOO good

Last week the vegan meal was at mine again and it fell on halloween so we invited more people and arranged a little spooky movie screening and I made SOOO much food and it was all fucking fantastic. My gf and I made dhal makhani, aubergine rice, parathas, vegan raita and onion bhajis and served them with some mango chutney and some oven-cook samosas that were just from big tesco. I'm so fucking proud of myself, I've never cooked this much before and it went so well! I guess what I really want to get across is how looking at this from the DBT perspective I gotta get across how good this shit is for your mental health and how absurdly well it dovetails with building community.

There are all sorts of other ways Accumulating positive experiences and Building mastery help, because DBT is a very holistic approach to helping people get better - like if you know what things you like doing and you plan them to be available to you, you know that you're going to be happy with your own company, which means if you're having a shit time around someone else you're happy saying "I would be having a better time being alone right now" and just leaving. That makes it easier to live up to your self-respect goals, which are a big part of the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills, as well as helping to tackle every cluster B girlie's deep seated fear of abandonment.

I could go on an on, but the salient thing right now is that there are a lot of people struggling with stuff I relate to as someone who has had my shit rocked by Borderline Personality Disorder for years and years, and I know that the biggest feeling at core is like "what is this all for? what is the thing that we are all trying to do in the space we are chaotically scrabbling to try to clear all the time?" and this is the answer: you want to accumulate positive experiences and build mastery, and when you get to doing it you have such a profoundly more grounded sense of being in the world, of what it is that's worth being here for and what stands in the way of life just being like that for everyone and a more meaningful drive to try and make it be that way for everyone.

I also wanna go on and on about how Interpersonal Effectiveness makes everyone better at organising too, but I think the Life Worth Living is the better sales pitch for DBT. idk in short a close friend pitched it to me a little while ago that all leftists should learn DBT and it would make the revolution way easier and the more I live of my life worth living the more I agree.

[digitalgirlguide]

Beyond Bubble Baths: A Realistic Guide to Wellness, Hygiene Hacks, Energy Cleansing, and the Art of Setting Healthy Boundaries

self-care as we know it has been reduced to retail therapy and splurging on skincare and the the essence of true well-being often gets lost in the noise of buying stuff.

you're not alone, i'm guilty of this too.if i'm sad i buy thing. i'm happy? i buy things.

and not saying that self care can't be buying yourself things because you feel like it but that's not a true reflection of self care.

self-care is a disciplined commitment to becoming the best version of yourself while tuning into your body's needs.

so what does realistic self care look like?

Take a few minutes each morning to set intentions for the day ahead.

practice gratitude by writing 3 things you're grateful for or using some of these prompts:

What are three things you are thankful for as you start your day? Consider the small details that often go unnoticed.

Recall a specific moment from today that brought a smile to your face or warmed your heart. Describe it in detail and express gratitude for that experience.

Think about any unexpected surprises or acts of kindness that came your way. How did they make you feel, and why are you grateful for them?

Before your next meal, reflect on the journey of your food from its source to your plate. Express gratitude for the nourishment it provides your body.

Organizing your day/week:

Plan with Purpose: Start your week with a glance at your calendar or planner. Note any upcoming deadlines, appointments, or social events. (A little prep goes a long way!)

Prioritize with Intent: Identify your top priorities for the week and break them down into manageable tasks. Tackling the most crucial items first ensures a sense of accomplishment. (Check off those big to-dos, and watch the momentum build!)

Time Blocking: Allocate specific time blocks for various activities. This technique helps maintain focus and prevents the day from slipping away in a blur. (Time blocking = your new productivity bestie.)

Flexibility is Key: While planning is essential, leave room for flexibility. Life throws curveballs, and being adaptable ensures you can navigate unexpected changes with grace. (Embrace the spontaneity – it's the spice of life!)

Self-Care Slots: Intentionally carve out moments for self-care throughout the week. Whether it's a short walk, a cozy reading break, or a meditation session, these are non-negotiable appointments with yourself. (Because self-love is a crucial part of productivity.)

Schedule regular social activities to stay connected: Meaningful connections are the backbone of a healthy support system. (Humans need socialization – it's science!)

Hygiene tips for mind and body

Begin your day with a cleansing ritual that extends beyond the physical. Consider practices like meditation (Remember, a cluttered mind can be just as burdensome as a cluttered space.)

Incorporate energy cleansing techniques into your routine, such as using crystals (clear quartz, black tourmaline, amethyst, rose quartz, selenite) to clear negative energy from your surroundings. (Just as we dust and declutter our physical spaces, it's important to cleanse the energetic residue that accumulates throughout our day-to-day lives.)

Recognize the importance of setting boundaries and restricting access to yourself when necessary. (You're not obligated to be constantly available to others, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and well-being.) Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, who make you feel good and encourage you to be your best self. (Life is too short to waste time on relationships that drain your energy and diminish your spirit.)

Embrace a straightforward yet consistent skincare routine. Cleanse, moisturize, and shield your skin from the sun – simplicity meets effectiveness.

Practice regular handwashing to ward off germs, especially before meals and after restroom visits. (Your hands will thank you, and so will your immune system.)

Simple ways to show up for yourself everyday

Practice self-compassion and forgiveness, recognizing that perfection is an illusion and mistakes are opportunities for growth. (We're all human, and it's okay to stumble along the way.)

Listen to your body's signals and honor its needs, whether that means nourishing yourself with wholesome food, getting regular exercise, or allowing yourself time to rest and recharge. (Your body is your greatest ally and deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.)

Embrace moments of joy and playfulness, indulging in activities that bring you laughter and delight. (Life is meant to be savored, not endured.)

let's reshape the narrative of self-care into a journey of discipline, mindfulness, and attunement to our inner voices.

[kanerlove88]

I am always thinking about post-canon RoyJamie. Roy moves out of his own way. All that work they put into becoming better people and becoming friends works out so well. They’re beautiful together, Roy and Jamie. Incredibly codependent and god, they’ll live under each other’s skin if they could but boy do they make it work. It baffles everyone around them but they don’t even realise it’s not normal to spend that much time around your partner. Freak4freak but very much in love about it.

They’re not perfect of course. They fight like any couple would. Probably more than most couple even. Neither of them are easy individuals. They both learned to hurt each other long before they ever fell in love and it shows sometimes. But they learn to give each other space, to take a breather when they’re furious. This understanding comes with time and a lot of therapy of course. They weren’t always so good at that but they learn to be patient with each other.

Even if talking about feelings always feels like pulling teeth, they force themselves to do it. It’ll never come naturally to them but it does become easier over time.

Anything they can’t solve themselves, they go to therapy for. They go to couples therapy because you don’t only need help when your relationship is falling apart. You’re gonna need help along the way and they know not to take that for granted. Both of them still see Dr Sharon individually too. They’re better off for it.

Jamie loves Phoebe. They get along like house on fire and it makes Roy so happy, to see his favourite people get along this way. It doesn’t take long before Jamie becomes Uncle Jamie. The next Uncle’s Day, Phoebe has two Uncles to celebrate and she tackles it with gusto. Jamie definitely will cry a little about it. That boy staring at his Roy Kent poster in his childhood bedroom could have never known that one day he’ll have all the love he could have ever asked for and it’d come from Roy Kent himself.

They’re it for each other, that much they both know. Roy worries, of course he worries. A 15 year age gap looks like a lot when you’re 40 and your partner is 25. Worries he’s too old for Jamie, that he’ll hold him back. He’s 40 and all he wants to do is stay at home and read a book cuddled up with Jamie but would Jamie want that too or would he be giving up nights out at clubs for him?

Jamie, who used to wake up at 4am to train with Roy. Jamie, who is very much aware of the age gap and has definitely thought about what it’ll be like as they both grow older. Jamie who would live in Roy’s ribcage if he could. Jamie who will choose Roy no matter what. Roy will understand soon enough. And what do you know? A 15 year age gap doesn’t look too bad when you’re 85 and your partner is 70.

Their wedding is beautiful. 2 years, maybe 3 years after getting together. Roy proposed but Jamie had a ring too. When they get married, every greyhound who has ever played under Ted will descend onto London, Ted included. It began with Roy and Jamie in the locker room, touching foreheads in anger and it ends with Roy and Jamie at the altar, touching foreheads, so in love with each other. Husbands. What a beautiful life they will live together.

[kitofawriter]

The end is near! LMK season five episodes 9-10 spoilers below the cut!!

Oooh boy I’m gonna regret watching these right before I have to go be a functional human being with my family.

Mac stepping in last moment when even SWK was at a loss on what to do?!

Mac grabbing MK was a really cool sequence!

Mac’s fighting him to keep him away!!! Also it’s a little hypocritical considering he started this season with the self sacrificing.

“It doesn’t always need to be you!” Mac having some pre journey flashbacks but with a very different reason.

“Who’d you make a deal with?” “A deal?” I’m sensing more Mac backstory next season…

Bite him Mei!!

“If you’re sorry, then you know it’s the wrong thing to do, son!” Pigsy stop tearing my heart out challenge.

“Here goes nothing, make it count” what do you MEAN?!

Mac what did you do!!?

Nezha mech!!

Mei will mess you up!!

SWK tackling MK!!

Sick villain design

“Don’t make me do this” the parallels!!

“No kid, don’t make me” oooh! He’s not holding back now!!

The call backs to the first episode! MK and SWK fight but not like so many people theorized!! I’m screaming!

Is he binding MK to the mountain with the staff like he did DBK?!?!

Monkeys stop self sacrificing challenge

The fillet!!

The voice acting!!!

Everyone getting to be BA!!

“Wukong” Mac, as far as you know MK was the only option here, why are you more worried about SWK?

Lego stop having main characters being basically dead and talking to the most powerful being challenge.

“Did it…did it work?”

He’s so relieved!! MK!

‘I mean they’ll be reincarnated’ that was NOT the deal!!

Last episode here we go!!

“Cause he’s the monkie kid!!” Genuinely a great theme song!!

Chang’e! I was wondering when you’d show up for that shot!

Oh god, I paused on a shot of Pigsy crying. I am not okay.

SWK pleading!!

“There are none in the world strong enough to bear the stones” gestures to MK and his friends.

MK believes too much in his friends to let it end here!!

“It shouldn’t be up to you, and it definitely definitely shouldn’t be up to me!” Honestly I’d trust that choice to MK.

“Even if it all does ends in pain, that pain is ours!”

Hey has anyone read Stromlight Archives? Cause MK and Dalinar should talk.

I’m so proud of my boi!

“Na-uh, I’m the Monkie Kid!”

Monkey MK!!

Catch him!

“I got you!” The voice acting! I’m gonna cry!

Group hug!

Don’t cry MK!!

“Tang, it’s okay”

SWK reaching out to Mac!!!

Conveniently color coordinated stones for the conveniently color coordinated cast

*We’re all in this together from HSM starts playing in the background*

Bai He cameo!

Taking from she-ra’s book and solving everything with the power of rainbow

Mac is yellow from SWK, the shadowpeach shippers are screaming.

Flying bark reference!!

“I don’t wanna loose you”

I’m in tears

Mac with weird chaos powers now? Also Mac searching the underworld for answers??

Nezha helping rebuild Heaven!!

They made a party for MK

Chaos staff! And only Mac noticed?!

Tang speech!!

My only big complaint: Porty MK did not show up.

That was so good! Not sure it topped season 3 (my favorite season) but it was really good!! The Sandy episode is still my favorite just because I love the big blue guy, but it was all really enjoyable! I understand some peoples complaint about the animation, but we went from a S rank studio, there wasn’t any way it was gonna stay that good with a switch. And they kept with a lot of the style really well. (The rigging was a little rough sometimes but I’m sure with time it’ll get better, if not then I’ll be disappointed). Anyway, let MK rest, get him some therapy, tell Mac to communicate because I feel like that’ll be an issue next season, and get all three Monkey’s to stop self sacrificing please.

Now I can go unblock tags!!

[josphitia]

TigerCow HRT part 2

“Jo? The Doctor will see you now.”

Jo was walked by the nurse towards the same sparsely decorated room that Jo had been in just recently. Why were there no furnishings? Was it simply because Dr. Erian was that kind of man, considering himself too busy to be trifled with such concerns? Before Jo could give it much thought Dr. Erian sat before Jo. Between them was the only thing that seemed of any monetary worth in the entire office: An intricately designed desk of some wood that Jo, while not knowing the exact material, could surmise was very expensive.

“Ah, Jo. Nice to see you again. How have you been?”

“Jo has been okay. Have simply been waiting for call. Now am here.”

“I see your manner of speech is still… the same. If I may ask, is there any particular reason why you speak like that?”

“No. You may not ask. Is it not enough that Jo simply talks like this?”

“...I suppose. Okay. Well, I’m sure you can guess why I called you in. I’ve been working diligently on your request. Believe it or not, the easiest aspect was making the fur purple. Simply adjusting the amino acids until they produce the right combination of eumelanin and pheomelanin. No, as I said in our last appointment the hardest thing to tackle was finding the right balance between the carnivorous and the herbivorous. Too much of one, and you’re simply a striped cow with fangs. Too much of the other, you’re a tiger with hooves. Although, thank you for what you provided the nurse last visit regarding your own specific phantom feelings. While I may not be able to replicate it 100%, your form should be close enough to provide you relief. But anyway, last week I think I finally figured it out. I won’t bore you with the details but I feel I’ve developed an injection-model HRT that will provide you with the results you’re seeking.”

“Thank you, Doctor. It means a lot to Jo that you would work so hard.”

“Oh by all means, you’re quite welcome. I must admit at some point it became something of a challenge for me. I needed to figure it out just as much for myself as I wanted to for you. I wish I could have simply told you this over the phone, but due to those new laws they’ve been implementing, legally I’m only able to disclose information about your treatment in person. As well as requiring you to sign these forms.”

“More forms?”

“Yes, there’s always some new fear to stoke and it seems you therian folk are the next in the crosshairs. These forms simply state that you understand the risks inherent in Human Removal Therapy. That you are technically a unique species and thus are not protected by nor constrained by the current laws set in place for species that you may be, and I apologize this is their wording, ‘mimicking and/or adopting traits of.’ I assure you this is mostly legalese and a way to protect people from being sued.”

“Hrm. Okay…” Jo signed the papers, probably putting too much trust in the man. But he was the only barrier left to what Jo needed.

“Thank you! Now, I’ll go ahead and fax your prescription to your pharmacy as well as needles and syringes. I’ll fax the instructions as well. I’d like to see you again in about two weeks, to assess how you’re feeling about the preliminary changes. I’ll walk you out.”

-------------------------

Jo picked up their prescription as the pharmacist explained the dosage. 1 shot every other day for 3 weeks, then to speak to the doctor regarding upping or lowering the dosage. Enough in this vial to last 3 weeks.

Jo put on a MeTube video simply labeled “How to inject yourself! (For HRT purposes).” The instructions seemed simple enough. Jo filled the syringe, cleaned the area, and began to inject themselves in the way the video displayed. A rush of adrenaline filled Jo’s body as they pushed the thick liquid through the needle and into their body. A typical reaction to a needle prick, to be sure, but Jo liked to think it was their body's own excitement and eagerness as the new hormones rushing through the body.

Jo went to bed that night with thoughts of the tigercow they were soon to become filling every crevice of their mind.

________________________________

TigerCow HRT

First|Previous|Next

Another entry in TigerCow HRT. Hope people enjoy, thanks for looking!

[iam93percentstardust]

For the kiss prompts - heated kiss becoming soft for Stony 😘

Fren! This falls a little more towards desperate than heated, I think, but hopefully you'll still like it?

Warnings for: hospitals and broken bones

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

~

They transport Steve to the hospital as soon as the parking lot is a little clearer. They would have done it sooner, as soon as the game was over, but he isn’t so badly injured as to need to be immediately transported. And besides, he had wanted a few minutes to celebrate with his team before being moved.

They’d won. Champions, three years in a row!

Even the broken arm isn’t enough to upset him, though he’ll be furious if they don’t fine the other team or censure Rollins. Steve had already been in the endzone, the game over and won, when Rollins had tackled him, and there’d been more than enough time for him to stop.

Fortunately, it’s a clean break, the doctors declare. If he sticks to his physical therapy plan—and he will because he knows how much Tony will fuss if he doesn’t—he’ll make a full recovery and be just fine to play next year. “Wouldn’t want you to miss the draft,” one of the nurses says with a wink. They want to keep him overnight, though. He hadn’t immediately gotten back up after the tackle, too stunned to do much more than lie there, and for that alone, they want to keep him for observation. They get him set up in a private room with some of the good painkillers, turn down the lights, and leave him to his own devices.

Steve is bored within five minutes.

He’s straining to reach the TV remote on the bedside table when he hears Tony’s voice from down the hall, loudly declaring that he will set SI’s lawyers on this hospital if they don’t let him stay tonight, which empty threat or not, is still effective. Or, at least, Steve assumes it is, because the next thing he knows, the door to his room is flinging open, his gorgeous, furious, worried omega standing in the doorway.

“Steve,” Tony chokes out. He crosses the room in three long strides, seizes Steve’s face in his hands, and kisses him hard, almost desperately. His eyelashes are wet, and he keeps letting out these little sobs that break Steve’s heart. He makes a soft crooning noise into the kiss and lifts his uninjured hand up to cup Tony’s cheek, gentling the kiss until it’s not so much a kiss as it is breathing the same air.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says softly. “Hey, I’m okay.”

“You’re not,” Tony sobs, breath hitching. “I saw him hit you and then you didn’t get back up.”

Oh, sweetheart, he thinks to himself, heart aching.. He tugs on Tony’s shirt. “C’mon, come on up here with me.”

Tony gives him a worried look. “I don’t want to—”

“You won’t. Promise. Will you just get up here? I’ll worry about you more if you’re all the way over there.”

Tony gives him a look that says he knows exactly what he’s doing, but obligingly climbs onto the bed and tucks himself into Steve’s side. Steve wraps his arm around him, carding his fingers through his hair.

“I’m okay,” he says again. “It was a clean break.”

“You didn’t get up,” Tony whispers.

“He just knocked the wind out of me, that’s all. Hit my head pretty hard on the way down, but the docs are pretty sure it’s not a concussion.”

“They’re keeping you overnight,” Tony points out.

“For observation,” Steve refutes. Tony opens his mouth again, but Steve kisses whatever objection he was going to say out of his mouth. “Sweetheart. I’ll be fine. I should be right back to playing next year.”

Tony shivers and burrows closer to him. “You have no idea how it felt, seeing you like that.”

He can imagine. “Were you scared?” he asks gently. Tony will never admit it himself, but sometimes, he just needs to hear someone else acknowledge how he felt. Sure enough, Tony doesn’t say anything out loud, but he feels the smallest nod against his throat. “Oh, Tony, I’m so sorry I worried you like that.”

“I’m going to make sure Rollins never plays again,” Tony says fiercely. “Someone like that should never have been allowed out on the field.”

“Organizing a fatal car crash seems a little too mob boss for you,” Steve says mildly. To his relief, Tony snickers.

“No, you big goober.”

“And fixing his grades so he fails out is illegal.”

“You never let me have any fun.”

“I’m sure you can think of another way to stop him from playing,” Steve says. It’s maybe a little uncharitable, but Rollins still has two years left to Steve’s one, and he refuses to graduate without removing a threat like that off the field. Steve was lucky, he knows that, but what if it had been Harley, one of the freshman reserves on the team, who’d scored that touchdown?

Better to let Tony do whatever he’s going to do.

“You feeling better?” he asks after a bit, and Tony exhales deeply.

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks. I’m pretty sure I should have been the one comforting you though.”

Steve chuckles and kisses the top of his head. “We can trade, hmm?”

“Yeah, alright. Deal.”

[celestiall0tus]

Calm Before the Storm - Chapter 4 - Anniversary

Beginning || Previous || Next

            Emilie knocked on Adrien’s door. She grinned as she stepped inside and saw Adrien sitting on his couch, watching TV. She closed the distance and tackled him in a hug.

            “Oh, Adrien! You know what day it is?” Emilie cooed.

            “Uh, Tuesday?” Roarr said.

            Emilie blinked and stepped back. She looked down at Adrien as he transformed into Roarr.

            “Roarr? Where’s Adrien?”

            “Uh, you won’t be mad, will you?”

            “Roarr.”

            “Ok, ok. He headed out early to do… stuff.”

            Emilie’s shoulders dropped. “But… but we were supposed to hang out today. It was the one-year anniversary since Velze and we were reunited.”

            “Sorry, Emilie.”

            Emilie gave a weak smile before she left for Nathalie’s office. She peeked inside and saw Nathalie at her desk. She stepped lightly to Nathalie and sat in Nathalie’s lap.

            “To what do I owe this visit?” Nathalie teased.

            “Adrien is gone, and we were supposed to hang out today.”

            Nathalie groaned. “That boy, I swear. He needs to let go. It’s been a year. I swear, he’s too much like Gabriel.”

            “What more can we do? We’ve tried therapy, we’ve talked to him, but he’s not listening to anyone. I just… I don’t know what to do and he’s on the track of repeating Gabriel’s mistakes.”

            “I know. It may be time for drastic action,” Nathalie suggested.

            “What are you talking about?”

            “I need to think on it and see what would be the most appropriate course of action. Once I figure something out, I’ll be sure to let you know. You are his mother, so you should have a say in it.”

            Emilie smiled softly and leaned her head on Nathalie’s shoulder. “We’re his moms, Nathalie. Don’t forget now.”

            Nathalie smiled. “I haven’t, but you were here first. I owe it to you to have a choice as well.”

            Emilie sighed and kissed Nathalie’s cheek. “Thank you. Do you think, perhaps, we could spend time together? Our anniversary is a ways off, but it is also the day we were reunited as well.”

            “I’d love to.”

Patreon || Discord || Ko-Fi

[cali]

im a different anon but im just curious what advice you would give to someone whos been pillbugging it for um. over a year now

mmm i cant really answer how to stop having depression which im guessing is what u mean + i dont know how ur head works but ive been living mostly NEET-ly for more than 2 yrs now and everyday im getting a better curve at dealing with it so i can tell u what works for me.

half the time when im pillbugging hard im paralyzed by a nontangible fear and the only thing that could stop it is adressing wherever the fear is coming from but the confrontation of the topic, trying to figure out where its even coming from, is terrifying too so i dont do it and stay swimming in tar. theres a sentence people keep saying when they explain why they watch 2 hour video essays "it makes my head go quiet". thats the enemy, the thought, not the person saying it. long term i mean. when its short term anguish that can be bridged by pillbugging its fine i think but if ur "making ur head quiet" for more than a month i urge u to make it go really loud again but thats hard. the only times i can try and confront those thoughts is when i feel otherwise nice, if i got externally forced to have a fun day, hike with my papa, date day with my girlfriend, sometimes just got myself to make a nice meal and it helped, when u feel better its a little less scary and u can maybe try and think out of it a little better. also i think on those days youre generally more positively charged so u got more hope outlook. COOL. i think this is why some people do meditation. im not good at it so i dont really know but i think its a brave pasttime of tackling unpleasant ideas. i used to try and dope my way out of it with lsd cuz everytime i used it it kind of forced me to confront whatever trouble i had but ive forbad myself that cuz i didnt want to rely on it as crutch + it was just unpleasant to get hit over the head everytime. now i only do it when i feel good already (havent done it in half a year lol). sorry, drug tangent. also weed is synonymous with pillbugging 4 me.

otherwise, rituals.... mmmmm..... when therapists and whoevers say stuff like take daily walks daily exercise take daily shower i think all of those are like half about the direct benefits they give and half just about doing anything regularly. cuz it helps. during pillbug hours the point for me is kind of to have time pass as fast as possible so the timeframe to hurt is reduced which is counterproductive cuz if it flows u by rlly hard u cant really grasp onto anything to get off the ride easily. and its never going to come really easy theres no probable single action or event that is going to singlehandedly pull u out of the mire, no rapture, no healing vitamin, its always going to be slow and tedious and boring and stupid but a routine is a nice framework to start that. brushing ur teeth is nice. and when u do something daily the days start becoming more tangible again and u will be able to tell how many days ago tuesday was. maybe u can think abotu what factors motivate u and twist them to do your biddinggg. shame and dissapointment works really well for me if i tell someone i will have this done by then and i dont it usually overpowers the malaise or whatever other reason has been making me not do it prior. but this requires social bonds and i cant guarantee u have those. in summer i started doing therapy cuz in germany i need it for transgenderism and shes also a good beacon for that, if she says do something until next time we meet i dont want to dissapoint her. other than that, um idk, everyting else is just kind of part of that. take walks even if u dont want to think about things even if its scary. be brave like childrens book illustration of knight slaying dragon. and then maybe u get a princess kiss

[beastabyss666]

You know as a former member of Vivziepop's cult and yes its a cult not a fandom anymore I am disgusted by a majority of the people in it.

Like someone on the subreddit brought up it being kinda tasteless or fucked that they sold sexy Stella merch in bdsm gear when she's abused Stolas physically. The post was deleted quickly and judging by my experiences in the fandom people were stanning Viv or harassing OP and that has got me thinking.

Why is Stella in bdsm gear? Like Stolas and Blitzo are canonically into it yet you give the abuser that...

Like isn't a bit fucked that instead of choosing the canonical practicioners in your show you choose to put someone who uses pain not to pleasure but to slowly break and hurt someone.

We know Vivziepop has a merch rep so how did that get into production?

I also find it fucked that Vivziepop and crew are attempting to tackle an issue as serious as domestic abuse and do it so poorly by writing Stolas and Stella as bickering children next we see them. Then the staff has the utter gawl to sell merch in general of Stella and the fans buying it up.

Like I understand autograph signings slightly but that's the only merch Stella should have.

Vivziepop's cult loves to claim that they utterly depise Stella and deserves to suffer because she's an abuser so how dare people want nuance or not just a generically evil cartoon villain but the moment she is drawn in a sexy way they start throwing money at that.

Like I just want to know how these people if their friends ask about the character on the pin will explain "Oh this is Stella who's a sexy domestic abuser"

Then again am I surprised when Vivziepop makes merch of a rapist and most of the crew have some weird fascination with Valentino and not in the way that he's their best written villain way more like they are simping over him.

I think a lot of fandoms, especially nowadays, have a lot of genuinely bad people who really need help/therapy but see nothing wrong in what they do or just keep doing that, though they know it ain't okay. That's so frustrating when you can't feel comfortable even in an Internet community. But Viv's "fandom"(I mean exactly these two shows, although Zoophobia also had...... not very pleasant people) is surely something... Where'd you find so many blatantly oblivious and blind brown nosers which keep pretending everything's good when there's already tons of red flags from Vivienne? Yeah, that's a rare case. I don't wanna interact with this fandom or even talk about it, tbh. I still watch the show cuz it's fun to see how it manages to be worse with every episode, though sometimes I don't make reviews as many other people do it faster and better and I just have nothing to say(I need to take my jaw from the floor). Regarding Stella – well, I don't know on what principles Viv or her team makes merch with the characters, but aren't all characters being sexualized anyway? They even have merch with Chaz, a guy who, like, died in the same episode. And they keep doing new merch with this jerk. And that's obviously because there are people who simp for him. I don't know if Stella's merch may be an insult to those who practice BDSM, I'm not into it, tbh, and I don't take these things seriously, but I find this just a bland sexualisation. Well, it's "sexy merch", but yeah, Stella's all character is based on being a mean aggressive yelling bitch, and this thing....... it must be a character trait, I guess? Or just a sweet treat for rule34 artists, like most of the stuff Viv does. Again, I don't take all of this seriously, this sexy merch was made to tease and please the simping fans, but there's certainly a part of irony in it. Like, people in this fandom hate Stella so much that they shit on people who simply want her to be a more complex character, and they're........ still buying all this stuff. They........ enjoy Stella being "hot dommy mommy" and still keep hating her? Ngl, only Viv's fanbase can do that, lol. I've seen this fandom from the start and I can say that many people here always had some weird obsession with Valentino. I even remember some person passive aggressively telling me that "he's just very charismatic and it's your problems if you can't see it". When there were, like........ A musical clip and a comic where he just was being an abusive jerk. Yeah, that's a really weird fascination. Also, doesn't one of HH's crew, who is an animator or a director(don't remember correctly), has a rape fetish and has drawn an animatic on their beloved ship Angel/Val? Hella ironic that a show about serious portrayal of trauma and abuse has a crew member(or members) which legit....... find it hot or cute. That's sick af but I guess Viv doesn't care who she hires. Oh, that's definitely not a pit I would like to fall in. I'm not sure there's any hope on Hazbin portraying trauma or mental illnesses properly, but I'll still watch it anyway. Whenever it comes out....

[cecekeating]

My 612 Jordayla Analysis/Commentary and Breakdowns pt 4

Thank you TV gods for giving me a Layla/Laura moment. I will eat the crumbs the writers threw at me today. I loved seeing Laura share a moment with Layla and Jordan. I would have loved a conversation bit like I said, I will take the crumbs. The moment Laura is out of earshot, Jordan lets Layla know that they need to talk. Jordan explains that he didn’t want to bring the conversation initially because she is in a much better place. Again, shoutout to the writing for continuity. Jordan is still thinking about Layla and being super considerate about her mental health.  Layla on the other hand wants to know if he has cold feet. She lets him know that he can tell her if he does. I thought this was super sweet. She wants to be there for Jordan and she is making an effort to create a safe space for Jordan, just like he has always done for her. Jordan assures her that he is fine but they need to talk about their future. 

This was where I heaved a sigh of relief. Layla has actually been thinking about the future and proactively got a place for them already. So do you see where the look she shared with Jordan in 606 comes in? She also confirms onscreen for the audience that she wants to have children “eventually”. That “eventually” line is kinda giving “sooner than later” to me. I mean is it a Jordayla storyline if stuff doesn’t happen earlier than expected?

Now there is also something I picked from this scene. As I watched, I felt this scene was hinting at the dynamic of Jordayla as a married couple. In this episode we saw Jordan worry about the future and we also saw something similar in episodes 602/603. It was even a point of contention and he admitted that he was so focused on the future that he forgot to just live in the moment with Layla. So it looks like the writing is sort of establishing a tendency for Jordan to be in over his head about wanting the best for his family and spiraling about it. This episode and previous episodes have not tackled this, leading me to suspect that this might be something he will struggle with in marriage, especially if Jordayla has a child. I can see him trying his hardest to be the best husband and father and being overwhelmed by it. This can be tied to his relationship with Billy. Because when you look at Jordan as a character, a lot of his fears and insecurities stem from Billy and how he parented Jordan. I have always felt the writing never tackled this and having Jordan navigate this in marriage makes perfect sense. 

Now for Layla, she will be going into marriage very much aware and informed. Therapy brought to light many of the issues she had with her parents and how she was raised and so in marriage, she is likely going to be the one supporting Jordan. Remember earlier in the write up I said Jordan has an understanding of Layla’s childhood and how it affected her as a teenager and an adult. This may mean that Layla would be more stable to handle parenting than Jordan since she has worked through her issues. Jordan hasn’t done so yet. So their season 6 dynamic may likely flip with Layla playing more of a support system for Jordan. That is why in this episode, we had her already do some proactive work to alleviate Jordan’s worry. Remember that she now understands that she and Jordan are a team. She told him that she has “got him” and “they are in this together” so if s7 has Layla support Jordan as he navigates being a husband and father, know that the seeds were planted here. 

Of course we don’t know NK’s plan for s7 but based on the writing, this is what I can see happening. 

Okay, that is all the yapping for this episode. I will be back with a lotta yapping once the wedding is aired and best believe, I am going to say all that I can remember. Thank you for supporting me, Jordayla Nation! There is no fandom I’d rather be in than with you guys! 

Next stop, the JORDAYLA WEDDING!!

[sillylovesongsk]

Has anyone ever thought that the reason why we love Heartstopper so much is because it’s so refreshing to see healthy, pure and affirming queer relationships?

This is what I longed for growing up as part of the LGBTQ+ community. I longed to see healthy relationships on TV because all I wanted was a healthy and accepting environment in my life (since books and media were my constant escape and refuge). Growing up with Queer As Folk, The L World, ATWT (Luke/Noah), Hollyoaks, Skins and even Glee made me think that this was what I was bound for in my teenage/adult life… full of toxic relationships and unsafe environments.

It’s so nice to see that this is what the next generation is getting, that they’re getting to see acceptance and patience at its fullest. Even if the heteronormative society we lived in deprived many of us from having this kind of beautiful young queer intimacy and experience (yeah ik, we have nostalgia and we’re mourning), we should still acknowledge the fact that things are getting better for future generations. I’m just so happy for all the queer young people that get to have this positive experience, and how this positive LGBTQ+ representation that’s happening, will change so many lives.

I cry tears of joy because we get to see more of that patient and accepting mentality from Charlie (when it comes to coming out) and none of that “if you love me, you will not hide me” mentality that was so frequently seen in media and so present in many queer relationships.

Also, it’s comforting that Nick really cares about Charlie and wants to protect him, not by being Charlie’s superhero or savior with a fixing mission, but just by being patient and allowing Charlie to open up to him… giving him space to fully let him in on his own time. Not by telling him “you need to stop doing this, you need to stop hurting yourself”, but telling him “can you promise to tell me if it ever gets that bad again?”. Which makes me think he knows that he won’t be able to fully stop it (because that’s how it is with people that have disorders and depression, it doesn’t help for people to force us to just “get better and not hurt ourselves”), but he knows he can be there for him to make the path to recovery or stability easier.

Seeing the slow and patient way in which Tara and Darcy allowed each other to open up, and not leave at the first sign of “trouble” but tackled it through open communication makes me happy.

The way they handled the relationship between Mr. Farouk and Mr. Ayaji was on point, exemplifying perfectly how you can still have nice first-time experiences at any point in your life, regardless of you realizing that you were queer later in life.

It makes me cry (sometimes happy tears and sometimes sad tears) when I see most of the parents being a safe place for their children and allowing them to trust in them because of that safe environment they’ve created.

While writing this I realized that the reason why I’ve read so much fanfiction since I was very young (8 yo, that’s nearly 20 years now) is because we got to create and read these stories where we imagined safe and healthy relationships that we didn’t get to live and see in real life or media most of the time. I think the reason I love Heartstopper so much is because of how similar it is to any of those wholesome fanfics that I took refuge in back when I was younger and living in the closet.

It has everything I wished to have back then and everything I wish to have at one point in life:

Family fully accepting you

Healthy and safe family (non-chosen and chosen family)

Partner being patient and supportive

Protecting those you love

Open communication that I’ve always craved for in all relationships in my life (romantic and platonic)

Giving light and acknowledgment to the struggles each character lives but not making it their whole personality (because we’re more than those struggles… something I’ve come to learn after so many years in therapy. I’ve suffered domestic abuse, bullying, depression, anxiety, EDs, among so many other things my whole life and I’m more than all of that and it isn’t my whole personality).

I just think that these are some of the reasons why we love Heartstopper as much as we do. What do you all think?

[dian-mian]

⚠️ Spoiler for Earthspark ⚠️

I just finished watching the newest episodes and I can't wait for the rest of them! The show continues to exceed my expectations with how well written all the main characters are shown, especially the Malto family, as well as the plot of each episode that are so engaging to watch, the fight scenes, all it was just MUAH 🥰🥰 (My comments don't go in an order of episodes lmfao)

They've tackled a number of topics normally I wouldn't see it being addressed like racism, xenophobia, generation related trauma (Thrash being upset that the new generation of Terrans are "facing problems caused by the previous generation and the expectations to clean up their messes"), gender identity (how alt modes are very tied to their identity) and omfg they include some other messed up shit like bots fighting in the arena to get energon (Sounds very familiar hmmm) and hint hint of Mandroid becoming more mechanical??? ALSO GHOST IS GROWING EVEN MORE SUS ESPECIALLY WITH AGENT CROFT I HATE HER ALR I WANNA KILL HER

I fucking love Megatron in this show, my god he just usurp Optimus' role as the father here (Or grandpa in this case). I mean, HE TOOK THE MALTOBOTS TO THE WAR MEMORIAL TO TELL EM OLD STORIES ABOUT THE WAR TO TEACH THEM TO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AS THE PREVIOUS GENERATION AND I 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (THE FLOWERS BEING A REFERENCE TO IDW WHERE EACH PETAL OF THE FLOWERS REPRESENT A LIFE LOST JUST KILLED ME RIGHT THERE)

AND NIGHTSHADE AND TARANTULAS,,, bunch of science nerds can relate ifhkdnksj,, I would die happy if Tarantulas can make a comeback to see Nightshade again and be his second papa like how Wheeljack is second papa to Twitch 🥺🥺❣️💕

My boy Jawbreaker,, I really love how he wasn't forced to choose an altmode so soon and it just going to get a lot more impactful when he finally scans an altmode that he feels is right for him! He so autistic coded and I luv it when Megatron and Elita explained to him how they got their alt modes and what it meant for them (ELITA SOFTIE MOMENT IS JUST 😭😭💞💕💞💕💞)

God, the dynamic of the Malto bots is just so super wholesome and so tightly knitted, but Twitch grew up too fast,, They all need fucking therapy, especially Hashtag my poor girl 😭

I fucking hate Mandroid with a passion, he's so hateable and punchable and killable

I wont be talking about that mutatued horror of a bear also is that fucking allowed in a kids show???

I dont know how, but Bumblebee dangling and restrained while his energon is drained is... Making me feel something. Also, he and Breakdown...

I cried and eyed so hard at that slowed down scene where Breakdown through Bumblebee and they both starin at each other like... 👁👁🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈?

ALSO, FIRST MEGATRON GOT RESTRAINED AND ALMOST GOT HIS ARM CUT OFF, NEXT BUMBLEBEE IS RESTRAINED WHILE BEING DRAINED OF ENERGON TO FUEL THE MACHINES, WHO THE FUCK IS NEXT???

Now....

I am a huge Optimus stan, so I have a bit of bitterness at the fact that throughout 11-18, he was barely involved. Like

WHERE DID YOU GO???

WHERE WERE YOU???

DID YOU SUDDENLY RUN OFF TO FIND MILK???

God, I love Optimus as a whole, even in this show but he seems so... Distant? I mean, I'm not hating the writers and animators for the lack of Optimus screentime, it's just me being a bit salty (Though I am a Megatron simp too at this point so my thirst has been at least quenched by him). I really hope there's more screentime of him (Especially him and Megatron becuz first few episodes the both were lowkey 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈) and we get a bigger picture of his role in the show in the future episodes. He barely talks to the Maltos and the Terrans, he's barely seen anywhere in the recent episodes, hell where the hell was he when the jailbreak happened???

Tldr; Love the show so much, but where's fucking Optimus

[morningstargirl666]

When is The Big Bad Wolf Act 2 coming out?? Are you going to release monthly or all at once?? (I just finished the series and I’m in love 🩷🩷 no rush to write, just wondering if you have an idea because you have loyal readers waiting to love it!!! Have a great day <3)

Hello! Lovely to meet you and thank you so much for reading, that fic is a BEAST. So glad you enjoyed it!

So. When is the next update coming out? [nervous laughter]

Thing is, I told myself now I'm halfway i'll go back and edit, smooth things out before this fic literally becomes too long to tackle and that kinda...turned into a full rewrite?

I'm not changing the plot. That's exactly the same. But my ideas for the lore have changed since I first started writing and I wanted to add in a whole lot more of characterisation and set up for the chapters to come. I rewrote The Little Wolf back in December and recently did some tweaking to chapter 5 of it just this last week (I couldn't work out how to fix it when I first did the rewrite but I had an EPHIPHANY okay). So The Little Wolf is around 35k now, which is a huge difference to the 11k it was in November when I posted chapter 35 of tbbw. It's got tons of new scenes, a sharper forcus on the Mikaelson siblings not just Klaus and two whole new chapters. Of course, you've probably already read that as it is posted and you're a new reader, but that's what I was doing before Christmas, essentially.

As for The Big Bad Wolf itself...boy, where do I start. I'm approaching 85k on the rewrite...only on chapter 7. Which technically used to be chapter 6, because I got 5 chapters in before I added a new chapter. I guess that's a record for my restraint, at least.

So, in terms of what's happening: I'm re-writing tbbw. The plot isn't changing, but new scenes are being added, conversations are being tweaked, the lore is being more consistently fleshed out. Grammar for dialogue is being given a complete overhaul because that was a mess. But. Listen. It's so much better. It's so fucking better. I re-read the chapters I've done and in some places, the drafts aren't quite finished yet, like my writer brain is like fix this later BUT omg it's like, THE shit. It's so good. I've very excited.

I'm not sure how long it will take to finish. I might be able to stop halfway and post the rewritten/edited chapters I've got so far but I make no promises because I feel more inclined to keep going and get it all done in one. Some chapters won't need much work at all as they've been more heavily edited in the past (chapter 8 and 9 should be done pretty quickly, just giving them a facelift), while others I'm really ripping into. There's one chapter I know I'll either delete or delete scenes from to be replaced with something else (don't worry, the scenes will go into my deleted scenes fic on ao3, it's not gone forever).

So yeah. At the rate I'm going, I'm not gonna lie, it may take till the summer before I get all this editing done AND finish the new chapter 36 update - and you may get two new chapters at once, because it might be a long one and I might split it. But by the end of it, tbbw won't be 378k anymore. It'll probably be closer 450k. So you'll get a 50k+ update (along with some bonus stuff) to the whole fic and then a week later I'll post the new chapters (I used to post fornightly, a chapter every two weeks, and I'll go back to that when I'm done).

But yeah. I've written like, 110k since December, which for context is is closing in on the equivalent of the second book of TLOTR trilogy: The Return of the King was 137,115 words. That's an epic novel's worth. In three months.

An arguement could be made that I'm making this fic way too long but I don't really care? I love writing this. It makes my head spin and makes me tear my hair out but...it's so much fun too. And I get to rewrite canon, the way it should have been (we were so ROBBED 😭😭😭), so hey! It's free therapy too! I'm not going to stop as long as I'm loving every second.

Thanks for reading, and thank for listening to my insane plans! Hopefully, I'll see you there on ao3 when this fic is back for business!!

-And it WILL be back.