#i just want to feel like I’m a person
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Guy who went on a seven year nostalgia trip so bad that they live in Texas again but the nostalgia has worn off and they’re realizing this actually sucks.
#NOT THAT IOWA WAS ANY BETTER#glad to be in Texas and not Iowa but#I miss my apartment#i miss my cat#i miss my siblings#and also uhhhhhhhh#god idk#I’ve always felt like there was some integral part of myself that was just. missing#and i thought moving back to Texas when I was able to would make that feeling go away#but it didn’t#I’m here. but that piece is still missing. like I’ll never be a whole person#and i don’t even know what it is that will fix me#I’ve reconciled with my mom i love my siblings i live with my best friend I’m dating a guy who finally actually cares abt me#i live in my home state#I’ve got everything i could possibly want but#something isn’t right#idk#maybe I’m being dramatic i have a tendency to do that#but fuck#i just want to feel like I’m a person#mason talks#mason posts
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I’m so mentally and physically done in right now. I want to just curl up and pass away for like a week. I wish I had a hot tub or some cuddles or something. I’m just ugh. I don’t want to be around people, but I also want to be eating out someone. I want to be good in my AC but I want to be in warm water in the sun. I want to be alone in the dark, but I want my head on someone’s lap while lounging together someplace peaceful. I just want my life to be easy and peaceful for a minute. Not feel like I’m constantly under the weight of everyone else in my life demanding of me.
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the transgender urge to curl up like a small fluffy animal against someone you love’s warm body and make little mewling and sighing and whining sounds as they pet you and praise you for having tried so hard to be human until you fall asleep
#it’s one of those days#it’s one of those nights#i’m fine and everything is ok rn. but my brain is kind of not working great#i feel so… limited. like there’s a lot i want to do but my energy and focus just isn’t there#and my emotions are just always lowkey sad and lonely rn#so i’m just desperate for physical affection#but i can’t really get much of that atm#i just want to cuddle for an hour with someone#maybe more#*tired and sad puppy noises*#personal post
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every day i get hit with the agonising urge to post about my novel while not wanting to be an annoying person who posts about their novel
#ramble#disclaimer i do not think a single person on this planet is annoying posting about their writing#i think **I** am annoying when i post my writing#i am aware this makes absolutely no sense#idk this stupid book has been a WIP for a year now and i feel like i want to talk about it akdjdndn#this is me with anxiety subtly asking for permission for some reason#i’m not insecure about posting my art anymore but i am VERY nervous to post any writing for some reason. maybe bc i know my art is fine#but idk if my writing is ok or if my standards are just really low lmao#maybe actually talking about it will hold me accountable and get me to work on it more
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Question for the DP fandom:
Do you think Danny’s hair turns white when it falls out? It’s technically dead cells anyway but when it naturally falls off his head, do you think it turns white? Because I think it would be hilarious if his hairbrush just has white hair, no black strands whatsoever, and his significant other thought the worst until they know his secret.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton#dc x dp au#sorry it’s a no thoughts head empty kind of night#I know it’s a dumb thing to think about#but it was a shower thought and sometimes those are good#I just think it could bring so much angst to the plot#any plot#like Tim or Damian or whoever you want his significant other to be could think the worst#it would be something they’d notice for sure#could even be Tucker until Sam reminds him that he’s an idiot and their idiot boyfriend turns into a ghost#or it could be another small thing Jazz has to explain away to their parents#she makes up a whole person that is friends with Danny and it becomes a thing#I know it’s gaslighting and I’m not sure she’d do it but it’d be funny#his name is Garrett and he’s one of Danny’s best friends mom. Jeez how do you not know this#or what if Jason’s hair turns white too and that’s when it clicks for Jazz that he is not completely human#if Jazz is liminal her hair could be blue and boy would that be fun to explain#HER HAIR IS BLUE AND SHE HAS FEELINGS ABOUT IT OKAY#all caps on purpose#because I for sure would be freaking out if my hair was the wrong color in the hairbrush#I would purposely pluck a strand and watch it change then freak out#anger management ship#hardcover ship#everlasting trio
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it’s been almost a year now… is the bg3 fandom finally ready to talk about how gale’s “hubris” is the sole product of actively feeding his insecurities further and straight up denying him help & guidance when he was at his lowest and needed it most. it’s not one of his core traits and never was. he isn’t some closeted power hungry monster that is just waiting to be enabled. what he wants is admiration, recognition and acceptance. which is also what he sought from mystra before the orb disaster happened. he had no desire whatsoever to become a god himself or challenge her rule, he simply wanted to be seen as sufficient in her eyes (“to serve her better”). to be as equal as he could possibly be in a relationship with a literal deity. he has a deep passion for magic and knowledge that affects almost all areas of his life and enjoys the display thereof. he wants to be the smartest person in the room and enjoys when his work is recognized. he may be perceived as arrogant when it comes to his skill, but he IS NOT hubristic. it truly takes so little for him to be wholly content.
#this is such a fundamental misinterpretation of his character and really grinds my gears#i feel like we really gloss over the fact that he sees the crown as an alternative to NOT DYING#and not something he secretly wanted all along#an option to finally prove that he is ‘worthy enough’#either of himself or the person he’s with#whenever another post pops up talking about how astarion and gale are so similar another angel loses its wings#bg3#astarion was always corrupt long before cazador happened. and even after he seeks power for safety and control#(and partly because of the fun of it)#meanwhile gale? my guy just wants to live. read books. eat good food and be a great wizard recognized for his hard work#gale dekarios#it speaks#neme rambles#i forgot to censor my tags but i’m on mobile so oops
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2am post jumpscare
#found this and wanted to clean it up rq lol#these guys don’t deserve it ✌️😔#well probably idk#idk anything abt dream just that ppl either make him super effeminate or a horrible person a lot#<- tapping on the door of sans peoples club#do you guys even like him or#/j#except for sunny he seems nice :*)#but man when it comes to the others it 100% feels like ‘well this story/fic/comic needs a villain sooo’#like. I’m not a shooter for sf sans at all but like. ppl don’t even bother making him a sans most of the time it’s like they just turn him#into some anime villain or smth. what to hell#and do NOT even get me started on uf Papyrus Chara and Flowey I will chew through concrete#snow and hail#undertale#underfell#swapfell#undertale dream#is his AU just called dreamtale I genuinely don’t know#I think so#underfell papyrus#flowey#chara#undertale chara#undertale flowey#swapfell sans#god I am NOT used to tagging so many characters#bye
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Constantly torn between my desire to convert and the crushing weight of knowing that I won’t be able to exist in the wider fandom spaces that I love without being constantly reminded that Jews are always guilty until proven innocent post-Oct 7.
#Jk the bleak realization has already set in!#I just. God I just know I’m gonna have to process a whole new cultural trauma and it’s gonna suck because post October 7 it’s inescapable#Like I’ll see a popular creator I look up to for T/ADC stuff suddenly post that fucking chant out of nowhere & I have to choose between#Leaving bc that person obviously doesn’t look for Jewish perspectives bc of bias or staying and marinating in my disillusionment#I mean I’m already feeling the disillusionment no point not going through with it#Sorry I’m not trying to be a nihilist I’m just venting bc I’m really done#Jewish Convert#Prospective Convert#Jumblr#Vent#My Post#Leftist Antisemitism#Okay to reblog#I mean not sure why you would but you can if you want
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cozy summer afternoons
#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fnaf sb#fnaf ruin#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#glamrock freddy#gregory fnaf#fnaf gregory#vanessa fnaf#fnaf vanessa#3 star family#ever since it was confirmed that the 3 star family ending was canon i’ve been itching to draw these guys again#i wanted to set this sometime after sb and before ruin!#i imagine that theres peaceful moments where greg is making comics and fred is talking to him and ness is developing code for mxes#also for mobile users i’m terribly sorry if the quality is super bad.. this got compressed bc of how large of a canvas it was </3#i tried encapsulating as much of gregory’s personality and interests as i could bc i rlly wanted this to feel like his room#(peep the lil mario and luigi statues above greg’s bed hehe)#and yes i did reuse the photo booth pic i drew a few months back.. just a personal lil easter egg :)#rin’s artchive
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some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished
#so… hi#i think…. i might start making some stuff here soon#i’ve been gone a lot longer than i intended to be#& i feel a lil bad about it bc i really miss my boys & bein here & all that but#idk it’s just been a rough month#but i’m starting to get the itch to create again#i have a very silly idea for the mbz AU#i also just really want to draw some stuff#i miss making things. i’m going nuts. i’ve hardly done anything fun in WEEKS#i’ve sort of started working on some new OCs but ngl#doing anything that doesn’t involve dhes or kel genuinely feels like i’m betraying them#but i have a concept that i really want to explore so that’s what i’m trying to do#i have been working on a few AUs here & there too but#but mostly nothing fun#i need to do something fun while i still can bc i’m starting at uni next month#& i just know i’m gonna have shit for free time then#i’m taking all in person classes which makes me very nervous#i’m trying to be excited about it but mostly it’s just causing me anxiety lol#but anyway. um. yea. hopefully i’ll catch up on everything & reply to the tags/asks i’ve gotten since i’ve been gone#if i reply to something you said/sent to me a month ago… pls just act like that’s not weird. thanks.#rainyrambles
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I hate it when people don’t take aromanticism seriously. I hate it when they say “oh it’s just a phase I also thought I was aromantic but then I got a partner.” It doesn’t apply to everyone.
Respect aromanticism as you would respect any other identity
#aromanticism#aro#aromantic#arospec#aromantism#aro pride#there’s this girl who’s flirting with me and me being on the aro spectrum idk whether I like her that way#my friend is being super nice and helpful#however he doesn’t eben consider the possibility of me not liking her. he wants me to get a girlfriend.#he genuinely wants what he thinks is best for me based on his own experiences but#we’re not the same person#he thought he was aromantic but then he got a girlfriend so he figured he was heterosexual demiromantic#and good for him!#but I’m like also on the auto spectrum like him but I cannot tell the difference between romantic and platonic feelings#he’s trying his best but he doesn’t see not feeling love as a possibility#I wanna cry please I want to know if I actually like this girl and what to do if I don’t#I’m so fucking scared that I’m just overreacting and I’m reading too much into it#maybe I just want to be someone’s favorite person in a platonic way and I can’t distinguish it from romantic feelings#I hate this whole situation
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The hypocritical irony that us new fans say the older fans should give the new versions like MM and Rise a chance but then new fans won’t do the same with the older iterations like the 1987 series or the 90s movies
#I see see yall blindly hate 87 just like how older fans blindly hate rise and mm#btw I’m not saying nor am I forcing anyone to watch a tmnt iteration they personally don’t want to watch#Im saying that we shouldn’t hate on someone who personally doesn’t want to watch/like a certain tmnt iteration that u like#When u also feel the same about an iteration u personally don’t like/want to watch#It’s hypocritical that we shit on older fans for not liking the new stuff when we the newer fans shit on the older stuff#random thoughts#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 1987#tmnt 1990#tmnt 2003#tmnt 2007#tmnt 2012#tmnt bayverse#rottmnt#mutant mayhem#tottmnt
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately I’ve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#i’m sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.
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She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.
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They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.
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They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕
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I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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#natalie scatorccio#shauna shipman#shaunanat#shorccio#jackienat#taylorccio#jackieshauna#shackie#jackieshaunanat#shauna x nat#jackie x nat#jackie x shauna#yellowjackets#*#i’m obsessed with this moment. earlier in the episode we see nat sitting outside just staring at jackie’s bones. she’s clearly been thinkin#this over. that they can’t just leave her there. a visual reminder of what they did. making them all feel sick#that jackie deserved better. that in death. even now that she’s just bones. she deserves a burial or something. and nat takes initiative.#comes up with a plan and shares it with the group. but even then she looks to shauna for permission or maybe reassurance? maybe it’s out of#respect. they all remember how shauna reacted when it was initially suggested they get rid of jackie’s body. this is hard on all of them#jackie’s death and what they did. but they all know it’s affecting shauna the most.#maybe nat is even hoping shauna will want to help or that someone else besides natalie is feeling the way she is. that she won’t have to do#this alone. that someone else wants to honor jackie or feels as sick as she does about it. and they clearly do!! so many of them feel that.#i mean maybe only shauna and taissa are feeling it as strongly as she does? but shauna is kind of in shock and sick with guilt and grief an#in no place to meet nat half way here. she’s retreating into herself. and tai doesn’t even remember eating jackie. think she’s still#processing that it even happened. that they all aren’t lying to her. and also dealing with the knowledge that she’s having memory gaps.#dissociating. so nobody that is present there with natalie is feeling the way she is. lottie seems to think it was necessary for their#survival (probably true and nat even tells jackie’s bones as much.) but lottie doesn’t seem to be feeling guilty and when she takes a mug#out to natalie while she’s wrapping the bones. nat seems angry at the way lottie is handling it. and travis offers to go with her but it#reads to me like he is worried about nat specifically and not that he’s feeling that bad about what happened. i think nat is just feeling s#alone in this episode. and the one person that gets that is shauna but she’s just not in an actionable state. just tells nat to take the
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