#ever since it was confirmed that the 3 star family ending was canon i’ve been itching to draw these guys again

[rinisdrawing]

cozy summer afternoons

[ufonaut]

to approximately no one’s surprise, and certainly not my own, green lantern: the birth of conspiracy -- the would-be alan scott solo -- lost to superboy: the man of tomorrow in the second round of dc’s 2022 round robin. if this were a simple case of relatively popular character overtakes relatively obscure character then it would not be of note and i’d let it go but as things currently stand, i’m more than annoyed that a book starring a canonically gay man that’s retroactively become dc’s very first gay character and who hasn’t had a solo book since quite literally 1941 lost to a book about a completely hetereosexual character who’s about to have a starring role in june’s nineties young justice revival featuring the original team & its original designs.

going forward i think it’s fair to say that it’s tremendously disingenuous of anyone who voted for superboy to claim any sort of interest in representation, the evolution of the medium or underrepresented/obscure characters. i understand the round robin process is a ridiculous way to get a book to publication and it does no creative teams any favours (even with the confirmation that they’ve gotten paid for their pitches) but claiming to want both a golden age green lantern book & a superboy book and ultimately voting for the latter is equally ridiculous. conner kent is getting a title in june, the fans’ inability to settle for one single book -- especially when among suicide squads, justice league darks and supergirl: woman of tomorrow rip-offs, alan’s concept was the only one to sound genuinely unique -- speaks to the oversaturation of batman & superman content as an entirely self-fulfilling prophecy.

it’s people like superboy fans who won’t ever allow the industry to move away from the same 2-3 superhero ‘families’ and it’s people like superboy fans who have no real interest in what could’ve been a very rare opportunity for lgbt fans: a sci-fi book starring a gay character that didn’t have the character’s sexuality as its central conflict yet was still firmly aware of its era (the pitch reads as such: “In 1947, three events kindled America’s fascination with UFOs: the men in black, flying saucer sightings, and the Roswell crash. Three low-level government employees, tasked with monitoring superheroes, realize that one person was at all three events: the Green Lantern, ALAN SCOTT. He hasn’t been seen since.”).

as the comics understanders over on twitter dot com have shown us, the vast majority of superboy voters also have no respect whatsoever for this immense opportunity, for alan’s status as a canonically gay character or the fact that -- again -- he hasn’t had a solo book since before world war ii had actually ended. in fact, in-between calling alan scott part of the justice league and believing he’s enough of a regular lantern to be able to get a book ‘any time’, they don’t seem all that aware of dc’s legitimately gay characters to begin with.

i’m sorry to say conner kent wearing a leather jacket is not in any way equal to being canonically lgbt in some manner and erotic timkon fic does not make for a “queer” readership. this much applies both to twitter and to the occasional posts i’ve seen on here, many of them spread across the alan scott tag itself as if its some badge of honour to have chosen your ‘fave’ in a repetitive coming of age story over an lgbt-led title like the birth of conspiracy would’ve been. imagine what a win like that could’ve shown dc in terms of where its readers’ interests lie. just imagine.

[whentheynameyoujoy]

So the ATLA Movie Is... Good, Actually?

Just kidding, of course it’s not, it’s so bad it sucked the paint off my walls. But after ten years of people pointing out its glaring flaws, why would anyone bother talking about this garbage heap if not to go the other direction? So here’s a very brief and very superficial list of things the movie does get kinda... not atrociously wrong.

And they won’t be fake hipster pokes, like “It’s fun to laugh at”, “The Rifftrax for this is OK”, or “Kudos to the actress for managing to say we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in theirs with a straight face”.

(though now that I mentioned it, it is fun to laugh at, the Rifftrax for this is OK, and massive props indeed.)

Rasta Iroh

Yes, I know it’s not exactly the aesthetic of the real Iroh or that it makes no cultural sense for him to sport this do when no one else in the racebended Indian “OMFG what were you thinking Shyamalan” Nation does but goddamn, long-haired dudes are my one mortal weakness and I will ogle the hell out of him.

Jesus is that a man bun I see that’s it mum I’ve been deaded

Yue’s hair

No.

Now we’re talking. Yue’s hair turned white when the Moon spirit gave her life, so it makes sense for it to go black again when she sacrifices herself to revive the koi fish. It’s a neat detail I find myself expecting whenever I rewatch the scene in the show. Yes, I realize it’d be a pointless hassle to animate since she, unlike in the movie, immediately goes on to become the Moon herself but still. I like.

The Blue Spirit’s mop

Zuko, hun, what’s with the dance-off?

First of all, I want to imagine that Zuko the Theatre Nerd was about to leave his ship with just the mask like in the show but then stuck his head into the cleaning cupboard and went, “Yeah, more coverage might be good, even though it do seem mighty fried to shit”.

Which makes me giggle. I like to giggle.

And secondly, the hair’s movement is what makes the static mess of the Blue Spirit’s solo fight scene appear at least bit more dynamic because God knows the cinematography isn’t doing it.

Any particular reason why it’s at the edge of the action, shot all boring-like?

Now, I get why circular shots would be reserved for Aang while he’s in the practice area and then used once the two join forces. What I don’t get is why Aang’s part of the action scene has a defined visual style while Zuko’s delegated to a few stationary wide shots from afar as though he’s a tertiary goon, meaning that when the time comes to combine the respective pieces of cinema language and visually convey collaboration, there’s not really much to combine.

But as long as Zuko is stuck in this static mess, it’s that awesome disaster on his head flopping about that draws the eye, helping me understand that something even is going on over there.

It also prevents me from paying much attention to how the extras are mostly just staying put and a lot of the hits don’t land, so that’s good.

The music slaps

James Newton Howard is too good for this.

Pls ignore that the word “gods” is used in the ATLA universe

I can’t be the only one who constantly uses this piece to daydream about writing specific fanfic scenes instead of, you know, actually sitting down and writing them. It’s just so good at communicating a sense of sorrow while speaking of rebirth that I find myself getting misty-eyed whenever I listen to it. Unfailingly, the soundtrack as a whole manages to break through the mile-thick crust of horrible acting, confusing writing, and uninspired cinematography and make me feel things. And considering how everything on screen is working against it, that’s no small feat.

Imagine what a powerful experience it would be if the score was used in service of an actual movie.

Dev Patel

No wonder since he’s the only one in the film occupying that crucial intersection between “is a good actor” and “was given something to work with”. It also doesn’t hurt that he breaks with the trend of actors starring in martial arts flicks despite never having done any martial art.

And all EIP-jokes about “stiff and humorless” aside, he’s a pretty decent Zuko considering how abridged this version of the character is. A while ago, I remember hearing a reviewer say that with his comedic chops, Patel should have been cast as Sokka. And on one hand, yes, god, absolutely, I need to see that asap. But on the other? He captures all layers of Book 1!Zuko, the desperate obsession, rage, and self-loathing, and at the same time gives you a peek at the soft momma’s boy dork that’s buried underneath. For Christ sakes, he exudes intensity and ambivalence even when acting against an emotionless hunk of wood that’s giving him nothing in return.

Oh, and I guess there’s a tree in the frame.

Ba dum tss

What can I say, the guy’s good.

Showing vs telling

OK, so this movie is all tell and no show, except for one single moment. And it’s the exact moment where the original goes in the other direction in terms of how information is conveyed.

See, I never liked this. The revelation is preceded by Iroh giving advice to Zuko who scolds him for nagging. Iroh then apologizes, moves in to say the line above, and is interrupted by Zuko who seems rather uncomfortable with Iroh laying his feelings out like this. And once they’re out, Zuko verbally confirms that he knew already and Iroh didn’t need to bother.

All this extraneous information and pussyfooting ends up weakening what should be a profound scene that reveals to us, the viewers, how deep the relationship between these two in fact runs.

Compare to the movie where Dadroh acts like a parent by fussing and worrying, with Sonion needing a single look to tell him and us that he understands what it’s all really about.

It’s genuinely efficient and just good.

No Cataang

Fine, a bit mean-girl bitchy from me since I only start minding the ship in Book 3. And probably unintentional on the part of the creators since there are moments where I think they’re trying to set the romance up? There’s a, well, an attempt to recreate the famous introductory shot of fateful meaningful destiny of meaningness, there’s some slight note of saving each other’s bacon going on, I’m pretty sure they’re the only ones in the film who smile, and oh, right, Katara’s shoved into her post-canon useless role where she doesn’t ever do anything, and is all about Aang right from the get go.

Yes, I will blame the “executive producers” because a) I’m incredibly petty, and b) it’s perfectly in line with their vision of the character so why the hell not.

Hilariously, none of it reads on screen because the actors are just... yeah. These poor kids are struggling so much with delivering their own lines and portraying their own characters they don’t seem to have any strength left to create something between them. To be fair, the bare-bones shot-reverse shot style of their scenes doesn’t exactly lend itself to the idea they occupy the same universe, let alone are friends or each other’s crushes.

And I enjoy this immensely because it allows me to forget the depressing horror show Katara’s life turns into post ATLA.

Yes Zutara

I need to delve into this because it’s fucking hilarious. So in a movie which fails to establish the original’s central romance so spectacularly that if Aang got lost in a crowd I don’t believe Katara would notice, SomEOnE thought it’d be a good idea to add an utterly unnecessary non-canon moment where Zuko for some reason feels the need to pause his character-defining hunt for the Avatar which otherwise has him ignore everything and snap at everyone, and explain his central conflict to an unconscious peasant he doesn’t know, complete with gently pushing the hair from the pretty girl’s the soulmate’s the Water Tribe Ambassador’s the Fire Lady’s the love of his life’s her face away, AFTER his uncle nagged him twice to find a girl and settle down.

I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page and this is what we really saw.

Celibate Avatars

I have no idea why the decision was made, if TPTB thought expecting viewers to understand the story through the lens of Buddhism would be too much, or if the “executive producers” already worked their retconny magic. What I do know, however, is that there’s a big shift in worldbuilding and Aang’s struggle with his role as the Avatar stops being a personal conflict defined by a) his grief for Air Nomads, b) his notion of being robbed of the loved ones in his life, and c) the selfish attachment to Katara he confuses with true love. Instead, what he has a difficulty to accept is apparently a general notion of who Avatars are supposed to be, i.e. a fantasy version of Catholic monks, no family and worldly relations, period.

I guess either someone understood the original’s portrayal of de/attachment as “hermit no freaky”, or thought the audience would so why not go there outright.

Now, do I like this on its own? No, God no, it makes the world infinitely poorer and changes the story from an exploration of ideas which aren’t all that ingrained in the West, to a cliché tropester about a Catholic priest going Protestant so that he could be with a girl.

At least I assume that’s where they were going to take this eventually.

I mean, I think the direction was “look conflicted, this isn’t the final stage of your journey”?

But consider this—the show went there, it built on the concepts of Eastern philosophy and touched upon the ideas of spiritual awakening, only to swerve in the end and strongly imply they’re bullshit and Aang should have never wasted his time with them.

So honestly, I much prefer scanty worldbuilding to an insulting retcon by a damn rock.

Multiracial Air Nomads

Probably the most substantial “no hint of irony” point on this list and a genuinely good addition to the universe’s worldbuilding.

See, the notion of the elemental nations being perfectly separate and never mingling before Sozin has always been sketchy but it’s especially ridiculous in the case of airbenders. It never made sense to me for all airbenders to be Air Nomads and for all Air Nomads to be monks and for all monks to be chilling at the temples all the time to facilitate a quick everyone-dies genocide should an imperialistic warlord ever decide to commit one.

Because committing everyone to a single way of life at a handful of places kinda goes against the central philosophy behind airbending. Like the freedom and nomadism part.

Instead, there should be more variety to the airbending culture, with some staying at the temples as monks, hermits, and teachers while others live as nomads, travelling the world and creating more airbenders, with the resulting children in turn being influenced by the non-airbending cultures they grew up in.

And thus, not only should airbenders not be modeled after a single culture to create a one-size-fits-all lifestyle, but they should have the most diverse and dynamic culture out of the four nations.

And it’d be precisely this diversity which would pave way for an eventual reveal that some of them survived, that their complete extermination is impossible.

Because they’re everywhere.

You know.

Like air.

[lambourngb]

he’s got a smart mouth but a good heart - Michael Guerin

It’s Day 2, celebrating characters, and much to my own surprise, at the end of season 2, Michael Guerin decided to move into my brain and take up residence. Obviously I still love Alex Manes (He lives first and foremost in my brain since 1x08), but there was something about how Michael buried his own pain about his mother to help everyone in season two that rang pretty true to my own life right now. I didn’t always like what he was doing in season 2 but I understood it.

Anyway, when I find a story that celebrates how complicated he is, I cheer and rejoice- so here’s a few of the stories that I have gone back to again and again.

Truck stop knives and other assessors of childhood @angsty-aliens (13,200) I can’t lie, I love a good trope story, and I especially love a good sci-fi trope story, so this story hits all of my buttons. It takes our two science nerds, Liz and Michael, mucking around, and accidentally creating a version of Michael- but not just any version, but the child who hitchhiked to Fosters ranch, completely over humans and desperate to find his family. The kid who was feral from neglect and abuse... he was the cutest thing and the most mortifying thing that ever happened to Michael to be displayed and shown. This story takes the de-aged trope and turns it on its head, and oh yeah, there’s a sweet backdrop to Michael and Alex getting together.

Implicit Memories of You by @ninswhimsy (3464) - So this is an amnesia story canon-divergent story set after 2x11 basically, where they use the mind erasing drug on Michael. I know, I’m reccing this about Michael characterization, but it’s so solidly him after all the memories are stripped away and he’s acting on instincts, locked in a room to torture Alex with before death. There’s so much going on in so few words, something that Nin is a master at, especially the ephemeral remembrances of his mother that Michael has- oof right in the feels.

Maybe this time (he’ll stay) by @hannah-writes​ (7700) This is a sequel to one of my favorite stories I recced last year, dealing in alternative timelines where in one world, Michael is lost and alone and has pushed Alex away, and in another world where Alex came home from Iraq in a flagged draped coffin. It answers the question, what about Mikey? Where’s his happy ending? The confirmation of the multiverse means there’s an Alex out there who needs him- and through trial and error, Michael finds him. The world building in both stories is top notch, because for every action, there’s a reaction and reason shaping Michael.

Constant as the northern star by celzmccelz (53,000) - don’t know the tumblr here - This is an Mpreg, and it starts solidly after 1x13 and goes AU from there. But what if in the 100 mile drive home from Caulfield, Michael and Alex share a grief-induced moment of insanity where they fall back into their oldest language- sex for comfort, and then Michael does everything he does in the finale, including turning toward Maria, what if there was a souvenir? Despite the trope of mpreg, this is just how I see Michael, deeply in love with Alex but unable to trust that Alex feels the same depth in return. The friendships in here are also top-notch, from Kyle being a baby-doctor, to Isobel having her own Max-related spiral unable to let go of her brother only to refocus on Michael, to Liz fucking off with Rosa for the first half of the story because she’s caught up in her own grief (which turned out to be canon!). And there’s a whole plot here! With Jesse Manes being the worst.

Leave the light on by @sabrinachill​ (36,900) - Confession time- I love fake dating as a trope, I know, shocked right? But I especially love it with RNM because Malex are exes by 1x03. Mattie nailed the dynamic of pining and the assumption of unrequited love so well in this story. Although the POV switches here a bit between chapters, (and Alex is fabulous) what I really really loved was how she wrote Michael, in love but convinced that he’s messed up too much for Alex. Aware of his faults but not in a sullen way, but an acknowledgment that he was in a bad place and Alex hasn’t always been the best remedy him in the past. It was a very mature take on the “give me another chance” trope in Malex reunion stories, where both sides had a share of blame. The plot was suspenseful and tight (how do people do that???) with a climax that honestly shocked me! I really enjoyed rereading it while I prepped my rec-sets, and I won’t be surprised if this story isn’t mentioned by everyone doing ‘Creators Week’. It’s worthy of all the love.

Temporary wounds by @prouvaireafterdark​ (7800) - How many times can I rec this story? Hopefully you’re not bored by my adoration of this Lynne.  So even though it’s set post-season 1 with the assumption that Michael/Maria will fizzle out while Alex/Forrest date- it’s actually perfectly set for season 3 (an author who is psychic??). As a rule, I hate jealousy as a trope, but this story has the only type of jealousy I want to see on screen- where Michael wonders what was missing inside of him that Alex didn’t want to be public during their long affair (even with the acknowledgment that Alex was too scared before)- like that type of sad pining is my catnip!

The first who ever did by nostalijinks (33,000) post season 1, but really it also stands pretty well after season 2.  There was an interview during season 1 I think that talked about how all Michael really wanted was to be a hero to Alex (the way he stepped in front of Jesse as a kid)  but he thinks he failed at it since Alex enlisted. That failure soured him in ways but he never stops trying, for Alex. This is a really well done 5 times plus 1 story, with an overreaching arc of reconciliation between Alex and Michael, starting as teenagers, then as adults while Michael is with Maria, then as friends, real friends, trying to support Alex as Alex dates. The whole emotional journey of maturity that Michael takes here is so well done, where there’s no real villains in the friend group. I just love it. I wish the author had written 100 more like this one, but as a standalone work it’s epic.

The person that you’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger by @iwontbeyourmedicine​ (25,000) Ly has a very large body of work, that you could spend days paging through on AO3 or tumblr, but this one hits two of my kinks hard- the amnesia story line and true love conquers all. So three fandoms ago I was huge into Steve/Bucky, that iconic moment in Cap 2 where Bucky breaks through the brainwashing has never left me. This story takes my love for that moment, and makes it Malex. Alex gets programmed by his family and set loose on his friends, on the aliens and it’s a shitshow bloodbath since he’s really fucking good at kicking ass. Michael is caught between keeping everyone safe and trying not to hurt Alex, and the tension is just top-notch. I love how it’s not an immediate fix either, the way they circle each other in the aftermath, wanting to come home, but home would be a totally new step for both of them. Just chef’s kiss good at joining action, angst, and romance together.

Into the palm of your hand by @haloud​ (5900) hal is a treasured friend, so I am admitting some bias here, but we both enjoy talking about how wonderful and sad Michael is and how desperately we enjoy poking at that softness and then wrapping him up with love again... so this story was written pre-shamegate (and if you know what that means, I’m sorry) but it matches my head canon of what the history of hiding does to someone. The internalization of believing maybe there’s a reason behind the hiding that has nothing to do with homophobic townies. Alex has an ex boyfriend come to town, and he doesn’t tell Michael. And omg the journey hal takes us on with Michael’s spiral and Brave Little Toaster act was so wonderful and painful and real. The communication between these two was top notch as they worked through a road bump from the past, and let’s face it, once we get our malex back, these things are going to happen, and it will either tear them apart or bring them closer together- I prefer to believe it will be closer together.

There is beauty in a failure by @jule1122​ (2400) There’s been a few Greg and Michael stories to pop up on my radar after 2x10, and this one was one of my favorites. This is a Greg who pulls no punches in exposing his brother’s past to Michael, but also gives Michael the space to work through what he wants. It’s an AU from 2x12, that allowed Michael to break up with Maria for basically the same reasons that Maria used on him in 2x13. The way Michael is able to what he wants and communicate it Alex in the end- so good! We can only hope to see something similar in season 3.

I don’t know what to think (but I think of supernovas) by @queersirius​ (3900) This story is a delight from start to finish- I mean frustrated cursing turns the console on into a hologram who then takes the most pleasing form to Michael’s eyes? SIGN ME UP for those shenanigans. I fucking loved how Isobel saw it first too. And then the comedy of Alex discovering it? And what happens afterwards? Oh it’s so delicious. Now of course, full disclosure, this light-hearted romp through the feels also inspired me  to think up a much much sadder version of Michael building an AI for companionship considering how isolated he ended up being at the end of Season 2 and we all know Michael needs friends, badly.

Innuendo by the Roswell anon (6000) written for @bisexualalienblast​  the roswell anon is my favorite treasure in this fandom, I could pretty much list all of their stories as examples of some very fine Michael Guerin characterization. This one was one of my favorite post-season 1 fix-it fics though, because it has some of the most real 28-30 year old guy dialogue I’ve come across- from the crude jokes, to the sharply self-deprecating observations- this is Alex and Michael stripped down, all edges but what’s left is fatigue and love. The resolution at the end, where Alex observes that yes, Michael has tried the last 10 years but this is their first chance to try together- to pull in the same direction? It just lays me flat on the ground with how true that is to canon.

Whenever You Want to Begin, Begin by @foramomentonly (3200) - this is a sequel, and the first story is dynamite- don’t get me wrong- but it moves from the hopeful side of an ending to legit Happily-Ever-After here, and I devoured every word. First of all, having Michael turn to photography as a way of self-improvement is fucking genius. Photographers are always at the center of every happy event, but never the focus, and that screams Michael to me, the way he lives on the outskirts of the 9-5 job and literal outskirts of town in his trailer. The other thing is photographers are revealed by their work, and that’s also something I head-canon with Michael just in the mundane- he’s good with his hands, he wants to leave a car better than he found. Anyway, this story is gorgeously written, moves a bit like a really good bottle of wine- heavy but soft, as you watch Michael become Alex’s friend, and even more importantly, Alex becomes Michael’s friend. Fantastic- I’ve read it about four times now since it was published.

[shelovescontrol91]

In order to lure Camila Cabello to “Cinderella,” Kay Cannon borrowed a page from Prince Charming’s playbook. Sony told Cannon she could direct the film — she had already been writing the screenplay — provided she could convince the pop star that “Cinderella” should be her acting debut. So off Cannon went to Miami to meet with Cabello, having packed a glass slipper she’d bought on Etsy, even though her producers told her that would be “weird,” she says.

“I was there for, like, 30 seconds. And I’m like, ‘I hesitate to do this!’ And I pull out this glass slipper. ‘Does it fit?’”

However embarrassing, the gesture worked. In May, Amazon Studios bought “Cinderella” from Sony — with Cannon’s blessing — and it will premiere on the streamer on Sept. 3. While it’s disappointing that the movie musical won’t primarily play in theaters, the director, who has a daughter too young to get vaccinated, sees only the bright side.

“If the goal is for people to feel joy,” Cannon says, “I think we’re going to reach more people.”

At 47, Cannon is among the still-too-small group of women directors who have a Midas touch for mainstream, feminist comedies. After getting her start as a writer for “30 Rock,” Cannon wrote the three “Pitch Perfect” movies and directed “Blockers,” an emphatically R-rated comedy with a dirty mind and a loving heart.

In summer 2017, Cannon had just completed filming “Blockers” when her agent told her that James Corden wanted to speak with her about a “Cinderella” project. She jumped at the chance — but only because she wanted to meet the late-night talk-show host, not because she had any interest in fairy tales or princess culture. In fact, Cannon was certain that any new “Cinderella” would be a non-starter, since Disney’s 2015 live-action version, starring Lily James, had grossed more than $540 million worldwide so recently. “Nothing’s going to come out of this,” she remembers thinking.

But when Corden and his Fulwell 73 producing partner Leo Pearlman pitched her the idea of a “Cinderella” musical with contemporary songs, saying she could rewrite the fable however she liked, she immediately changed her mind. “I have no poker face,” Cannon says. “And I was like, ‘I want to do this!’”

Cannon’s “Cinderella” has a thoroughly modern message. Ella isn’t interested in marriage, wanting instead to travel the world and be a designer.  Cannon also toned down the canonical cattiness of Ella’s stepfamily, and upped the story’s comedy potential. All the while, characters such as the stepmother (Idina Menzel) and the prince (Nicholas Galitzine) are singing songs like “Material Girl” and “Somebody to Love” and “Pitch Perfect”-style mashups like “Whatta Man” with “Seven Nation Army.”

At every step, her guiding principle was “How can it be different?” “I wanted people to get their money’s worth,” Cannon says, “or why do it at all?”

In an interview with Variety, Cannon talks about how COVID-19 affected “Cinderella,” her experience as a woman director and how things have changed in comedy.

The Cinderella story has been told and retold, and had just been a live-action movie when you signed on to write this. How did you want your version to be different? And is it significant here that Camila Cabello is a woman of color?

Yes, I wanted to make sure it was incredibly inclusive. And her being Cuban Mexican is no small thing, and what she represents to millions of people — not only her fans, but to millions.

The story has mostly been told and retold almost exclusively by men: I feel it when I watch. The 2015 Kenneth Branagh “Cinderella” was hugely successful, and it was beautiful. And I love the Whitney Houston, Brandi “Cinderella.” It just feels a little told from their gaze. And I really felt like it was important to me to tell it through my gaze.

Can you talk about creating the Fab G, and what you wanted from that character?  

So many amazing actresses have played that role — so I’d written that role to be a man. And, quite honestly, the only one who fit all of everything I wanted was Billy Porter; I wrote it with him in mind. He’s just such a great singer. He’s just so talented. Because I wrote it specifically for Billy, the character kind of came easy. I just wrote it in his voice, and tried to make it funny. I had actually had another song in there, and then as soon as Billy was confirmed, we picked “Shining Star.”

Is the Fab G gender non-binary?

We talked about it. In having many conversations with Billy, I was like, “I think the answer needs to come from you.” He has said “they/them,” and “magic has no gender.” Non-binary for sure.

You started filming in England in February 2020. Tell me about shutting down because of COVID.

We had shot the ball the first week of March, which is something I do not believe I would have been able to do coming back — and it wasn’t a super-spreader. I’d shot all of the Fab G stuff, and all the basement stuff.

It felt like something out of “The Amazing Race” — like, pack up all your stuff! I’d been in the U.K. for like four months, and my family was there. My daughter was going to school there, and my husband was the writer on set. So we packed everything up, and then Camila and her family and my family, we flew back. My husband’s family is in Maine, and so we just stayed in Maine the entire time.

That sounds so nice, actually.

I did all of post in a boathouse in Maine. It was pretty awesome, actually.

During the break, what were you doing?

It was like getting a second prep, really. I was working with my editor, Stacey Schroeder, and we were putting together what we had. And then I was able to see what I needed and what I didn’t need. And I was doing a ton of rewriting, and I was doing a ton of prep that we didn’t necessarily have. Because I had all the opening, I had the finale, I had “Somebody to Love,” I had “Am I Wrong,” “Material Girl” — all these big numbers.  

Movie theaters have reopened, and this was obviously made with a theatrical audience in mind. How did the Amazon of it all happen?

Sony is a business, first and foremost. I know that Sony loves the movie, and that partnership was really great on that level. So I think it was hard for them to give it up, but I’m really quite happy that people can see this in this safety of their own homes with loved ones. And it is a wonderful theatrical experience, especially with the music and the sound and everything. And it will open theatrically in some theaters.

It not being a wide release in theaters means that we’re not healthy yet. And so that’s what’s the most upsetting — that we’re not healthy.

As you were moving from being a performer to being a screenwriter, did you always have directing in mind, or was that something that you discovered you wanted to do?

I was led to it. When I was at “30 Rock,” by like Season 5, I really wanted to direct an episode. And I was too chickenshit to ask. I was the writer/producer who was always on set — at that point, I’d spent my 10,000 hours on set for sure. And it wasn’t until I had a meeting with Nathan Kahane at Lionsgate, and he was like, “You should be directing your own stuff.” I have such a respect for academics, and I never went to film school, so I just didn’t think I could do it.  And then once he put that in my head, I was like, “Yeah, you know what? I can do it.'”

And is that how “Blockers” came about?  

Exactly. Yeah, they sent me the script with an offer to direct. And with no questions asked. I didn’t have to do any kind of auditioning.

That is very rare! Obviously, things have gotten better for women directors in the past few years, after years of the most appalling statistics. What obstacles do you feel like you’ve faced as a woman director?  

Especially with “Blockers,” I had a very good experience. I feel like the obstacles I have to face really are from the powers that be that still fight me at every level on what women want to watch, or think is funny. Or what is funny — forget gender.

My stuff happens to have female leads, and it’s female driven. So the jokes are coming out of women’s mouths. And I cannot tell you the amount of fighting I have about what they think is going to work, and what they think isn’t going to work. And there’s a lot of like, “I have all the expertise, you do not have the experience.”

And it’s just like, ‘I’ve been working in the comedy side for 15 years now — successfully.” And so what ends up happening is, I fight and fight and fight, and then I just do it and get it in. And then it gets put in front of an audience and the audience laughs. And then they have to say, “OK, that does work.” And you might not think that that’s that big of a deal. Maybe that’s creatively for everybody. Maybe it’s not gender specific. I tend to believe that it is gender specific.

Is that at the studio level?

From my experience, it’s mostly the studio level. And maybe I’m just sensitive to it or whatever. But I just feel like there’s a lot of conversations about what is funny out of a woman’s mouth. What’s allowed. And I feel like no matter how much success I had with “Pitch Perfect,” I think it’s still as much of a fight now as it was then. Which doesn’t make sense to me.

With “Cinderella” too?  

Oh, especially with “Cinderella.”

And now we’re back on the record after going off for a bit! I rewatched the “Black Tie” episode of “30 Rock” yesterday, which you wrote with Tina Fey, in which Paul Reubens plays an afflicted prince. That was the moment in Season 1 when I realized, OK, I love “30 Rock.”

[Affects Prince Gerhardt voice] “THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY.”

That was the first thing I ever wrote! You know, professionally.

An unbelievable calling card to have as your first screen credit.

Yes! I was asked recently who is my Fab G, and my answer is Tina Fey. I wrote stuff as a friend she was reading. And I never thought that she would consider me for her staff, and she just grabbed me and was like, “You’re gonna do this!” I thank her every day for giving me that opportunity.

There are so many conversations right now about what’s acceptable in comedy. As a screenwriter who’s done mostly comedy, how do you feel about that?

Right now I think we’re in the muck, and I think we’re striving for equality. And we’re trying to work things out! Of course we should look back at things that were done 15 years ago, and be like, “Oh, no!”

I don’t know if this is a story I should tell. But I can remember getting notes to put the f-slur into “Pitch Perfect” as them being bullied like by the cool athletic guys. And I was like: “No! I can’t do that.” I think I put it in for a draft, and a friend of mine read it, and she’s like, “You cannot have that in.” And I was like, “It’s a note I was given!” I was told to do that, you know?’ And then like realizing, no, it’s unacceptable. You cannot use that word. Even if you’re trying to show that it’s awful, don’t do it.

You have to have your moral compass, and know what’s right for you. And there’s just some things we just shouldn’t tolerate anymore. And they’re just not acceptable. I’m certain if I looked back at stuff that I would cringe, you know? Or just, that’s how people thought then. And I was one of those people. But certainly now if you know better, you do better, right? Is that too soapboxy?

This interview has been edited and condensed.

[violethowler]

A Farewell To The Clone Wars

Yesterday was the end of an era

After 11 years and 104 days

After a theatrical movie, a novel, a comic miniseries, 8 incomplete story reels, and 133 episodes

After 49 hours and 12 minutes of incredible, heartbreaking, beautifully animated television….

Ended, The Clone Wars have.

I watched all of the existing Star Wars movies on DVD when I was a kid, but I was never particularly enamored with them the way that others are. And then in August 2008, I went to the local movie theater with my grandmother to see an animated movie that – while I didn’t know it at the time – would chart the course of my future for years to come.

While a lot of the general Star Wars fandom looks down on the theatrical Clone Wars movie as weak and lackluster, 11-year-old me loved every minute of it. I’ve been obsessed with animation my entire life, and around 2 years before the theatrical release of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I had just begun to explore the world of animation outside of my childhood Disney bubble, diving headfirst into SpongeBob and Avatar and Codename Kids Next Door. Whenever I saw commercials for an animated movie playing in theaters I would beg my family to take me to see it. It didn’t matter what the movie was actually about, all that mattered was that it was animated and I thought it looked fun.

So, when I saw Star Wars: The Clone Wars in theaters with my sister and my grandmother, I loved it. I enjoyed the movie so much that when I learned there was going to be a TV show following the movie, I was ecstatic. From the moment that the first episodes of Season 1 aired on Cartoon Network a few months later, I was hooked. From the very beginning I refused to miss a single episode. From middle school all the way through high school The Clone Wars became the axis around which almost all of my entertainment consumption revolved.

I started reading more Star Wars books and comics from all over the timeline. The Thrawn trilogy. Darth Bane. Fate of the Jedi. The Old Republic. Lost Tribe of the Sith. I devoured every piece of Star Wars media I could find as this show awakened in me an appetite for all things Star Wars. Whenever my parents asked for gift ideas for my birthday or Christmas, at the top of my list would be the latest season of The Clone Wars on DVD. Every summer I trawled the internet looking for news from Star Wars Celebration or San Diego Comic Con about the next season – trailers, clips, plot details, whatever I could find.

When the show was initially cancelled following the purchase of Lucasfilm by Disney, I was devastated. This show had such a staple of my life that the idea that it wasn’t going to be coming back hurt. As I started looking around at online Star Wars fandom to find someone, anyone, who felt the same way that I did, I discovered #SaveTheCloneWars, and joined the campaign. Through that first year after the plug was pulled, I wrote to Disney asking them to continue the show. I signed fan petitions and made posts on Facebook. It was my first real engagement with the wider online fandom.

Then came The Lost Missions and the Clone Wars Legacy releases – Crystal Crisis, Son of Dathomir, Dark Disciple… Having more Clone Wars stories helped soften the pain of the show’s loss, but the story still felt incomplete. Hearing about future arcs that had been planned for the show only added to the sense of incompleteness, knowing that there were more stories we didn’t get to see. When rumors had begun circulating about an animated Star Wars show set post-Clone Wars, resolving unanswered questions of The Clone Wars was at the top of my wish list for a future Star Wars show.

When Rebels was announced I was cautiously optimistic. I didn’t want to get attached to a new set of characters when the loss of Ahsoka and Rex and my other Clone Wars favorites still felt so raw. After Dave Filoni and the production crew of Rebels posted videos introducing the crew of the Ghost and the core cast of Rebels I reluctantly became more interested, I still was cautious about investing my time in this new show out of fear that it too would be ripped away from me without a proper conclusion just like The Clone Wars was.

So, when the final episode of Rebels’ first season confirmed that the mysterious Fulcrum was none other than Ahsoka Tano I was out of my seat cheering. There were still questions I needed answered about what happened to her after she left the Jedi Order, but the fact that she was there, back on my TV screen once more, was a relief. And when I watched the first trailer for Season 2 a month later, the words “My name is Rex,” made me scream and cry. I was overcome with tears of joy knowing that not only would my favorite Jedi be appearing in Rebels but my favorite Clone Trooper as well.

By the time Rebels’ first season had ended, I was getting ready to graduate from high school and planning where I would go to college in the fall. Taking art electives in high school, particularly a computer art class during the airing of Season 5, made me appreciate just how beautiful the show’s art style was, and when the time came for me to plan where I wanted to go to college, I chose schools that had programs for animation. I had originally wanted to be a game designer because of Kingdom Hearts, but The Clone Wars made me realize that the passion I truly wanted to make a career out of was animation.

I continued to follow Rebels as I went off to college, and by the end of Season 3 – with Maul dead for good, Ahsoka MIA, and Rex and Hondo as the only major Clone Wars characters left on the show – I had gotten attached to the Rebels characters as well. I was just as invested in their fates as I was for those of Clone Wars characters like Rex and Hondo. Season 4 finished airing at the end of my junior year, and the knowledge in the final five episodes that Ahsoka had not only survived her confrontation with Anakin at the end of Season 2 but that she was still alive years after the events of the original trilogy had me crying tears of joy as I went to sleep.

The trailer announcing the return of The Clone Wars had me in tears for hours. Long had I been dreaming of the remaining stories of this show being released in some form. I would have been content with more novels and comics like Son of Dathomir and Dark Disciple, but to have the show return in animated form was a miracle I had given up hope for years ago.

But within the last twelve months, my interest in Star Wars cooled.

I was never the biggest fan of the movies. Revenge of the Sith was my favorite because in the absence of a proper conclusion it functioned as a de facto finale to The Clone Wars. I enjoyed the original trilogy, but they weren’t movies I considered my favorites. I saw The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi in theaters and cried on my first viewing of both films, but on repeat viewings the magic of them faded and I lost interest. While I could understand why other fans liked them, there was a spark that was missing from most of the movies released under Disney that prevented them from really having any staying power for me.

And then The Rise of Skywalker came out and completely shattered any expectations I had that Disney really knew what they were doing with the franchise. Where before I was willing to trust that there actually was a plan because of how precisely Rey and Ben Solo’s arc followed the path of the Heroine’s Journey across The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, now I realize that what I initially believed to have been a carefully planned narrative arc was most likely JJ Abrams planning to set up a conventional Hero’s Journey which Rian Johnson used to try and tell a Heroine’s Journey instead. And even if there was a plan for Rey and Ben Solo that got screwed around by behind the scenes conflicts, there was clearly no plan as far as Poe and Finn and Rose were concerned.

For months after this, I started questioning and doubting my love of all the canon Star Wars media. How could I enjoy anything in the Original and Prequel trilogy eras knowing that all the hard work of dismantling Palpatine’s empire would be undone in order to rehash the same plotline with new characters and no concern given for whether the audience could follow what was happening or why these events and character decisions mattered if they hadn’t read every comic and novel and played every video game connected to this era.

Since the last trailer for the final season of The Clone Wars went up on YouTube, I vacillated between enthusiastically sticking to the shows I loved regardless of my problems with the film saga, and abandoning the franchise altogether and gifting my Clone Wars and Rebels Blu-Ray sets and associated novels to my college friend who had just gotten into Star Wars.

And then ‘The Phantom Apprentice’ Happened.

Ahsoka and Maul’s two-part duel in the throne room and the rafters of Sundari reminded me of everything I loved about The Clone Wars in the first place. The animation. The art style. The music. The attention to detail on every character and in every detail. The tragedy of what was to come. On my third re-watch of the third-to-last episode of Season 7, that was when I realized that despite my problems with the Sequel Trilogy, despite the many flaws in the writing of the Prequel movies, I could never give up on The Clone Wars, or on Rebels. These two shows have meant too much for me to ever walk away from either of them.

I have cried at least ten times in the last five days watching the final two episodes of The Clone Wars. The final of this incredible series was such a gut punch even though I knew what was coming and who would survive. I had and saw so many ideas about what the last episode would include. Would their be a montage of all the Jedi who survived Order 66 as a mirror of the death montage in Episode III? Would Ahsoka and Rex receive Obi-Wan’s recorded message from Rebels warning surviving Jedi to stay away from the temple?

But in the end, none of those things happened. The focus of the episode remained on Ahsoka and Rex. Their escape from the ship. The tragedy of their inability to save the other clones. And ending with a shot of Vader finding the ship some time later, all these symbols of the Republic buried beneath the winds of time as the empire rises. It was bleak and depressing and when the credits rolled I was holding back tears. But looking back on the entire series and the era of the war, knowing what was coming, there was no other way I could have expected it to end. The audience already knows that this is not the end, but Ahsoka and Rex don’t know that, and so the finale of The Clone Wars reflects this. The pain and despair. The tragedy and confusion over what will happen next. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Despite all the movies I’ve watched; the comics and novels I’ve read; the video games I’ve played; very few things in Star Wars canon or Legends have been able to match the magic of The Clone Wars in my heart. I have never truly been a Star Wars fan so much as I have been a Clone Wars and Rebels fan. The novels and comics and movies I enjoy are an extension of my love for the shows, but the shows will always come first. The characters these shows introduced have stuck with me more than any characters from the movies ever has. Clone Wars made me love Anakin and Obi-Wan and Padme and Yoda, but to me, my Star Wars favorites have always been Ahsoka, Maul, Rex, Ventress, Fives, Hera, Zeb, Thrawn, Sabine, and all the rest.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to Dave Filoni, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, Catherine Taber, James Arnold Taylor, Sam Whitwer, Nika Futterman, Dee Bradley Baker, as well as every single person involved in bringing this show to live for all the hard work and passion you have poured into this series. Your work on this show shaped the person I am today, and I look forward to seeing what you do next.

May the Force Be With You.

[ageofgeek]

Guys...they did the impossible. I liked Rise of Skywalker! They ended it well, and there were a bunch of parts that I REALLY liked (and really only a few parts that I was "meh" about).

SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!

So!  Let’s go through the main reveals/plot points and then I’ll go into more specifics. Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter - I’ll be honest, I did NOT expect that. I think after TFA came out, I reblogged a gifset that included all of the Rey parentage theories, and I was like, “lol what? who the hell thinks that Rey is a Palpatine? wtf?” And now it’s canon?  Honestly, it’s the same kind of batshit reveal that I’d expect from Star Wars, so I’m kinda okay with it.

Kylo Ren’s redemption was...not as terrible as I thought it would be. As y’all know, I am very anti-Kylo and anti-R*ylo, so I thought I was going to Suffer in this movie. But I was surprised by how I felt about it - only mildly irritated instead of bursting with rage. I still think he doesn’t really have a personality other than 1) whiny 2) manipulative and 3) emo, but I did like the scene where he hallucinates Han and repeats his line from TFA (”I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it”). That being said, it is still highly questionable to have Kylo’s redemption built on Leia’s death/sacrifice for her son (it reads a little too much like fridging a woman to save a male character), but I will excuse the filmmakers for that because they didn’t have much footage of Carrie Fisher to work with, so there wasn’t too much they could do if they wanted to commit to not digitally reconstructing her (which I am glad they did not do).

I digress (I’ll talk about Leia in the next paragraphs). I did like that Kylo just showed up to the final fight with Palpatine in like, a henley and slacks. It seemed like a very Skywalker thing to do, lol. Also, thank God that he died. Like, damn - I see all these Kylo stans being so upset at his death, and I’m just like?  His character purposefully paralleled Vader - a parallel which I think was weak, at best, but still, a parallel - and you thought that he wasn’t going to die?  Also, what would have happened if he had lived?  Oh right, he would’ve gone to prison for the rest of his life and not gotten married to Rey and have kids, lol, what universe are you living in? As it was, I think that they did his death well - like Vader, they had him sacrifice himself for somebody that he loved (although the bond between Rey and Kylo is, once again, much more questionable to me than the bond between Luke and Vader/Anakin). And like Vader, he turned back to the Light because of his family (Leia and Han). Thinking about the 2 other ways Ben’s character arc could’ve gone (1) he doesn’t turn back to the Light or 2) he turns back to the Light but doesn’t die), this was the only satisfying way to end his arc (at least in my opinion).

That being said, I REALLY could’ve done without that kiss. Like, really? You just had to force it into an unnecessary romance? You couldn’t have just had them hug or cradle each other, platonically? Both of the climactic emotional moments of the previous trilogies were completely non-romantic, and both focused on love of FAMILY - Luke cradling Anakin, his father, as he dies, and Obi-Wan being forced to “kill” Anakin, his brother. It would’ve been so much better if they had ended this one with Rey cradling Ben, her brother, as he died. But no, we can’t have nice things because heteronormativity exists. *sigh*

But, we’re moving on. I thought that they handled Leia’s character really respectfully - I think Carrie Fisher would’ve been proud. I’m still bitter and sad that we only got one scene in the entire sequel trilogy with Luke and Leia (the OG Skywalkers and you only had them in one fucking scene together? Goddammit), but that force ghost scene at the end with the two of them made me happy - it was a bittersweet happiness, but happiness all the same (also, since it is canon that force ghosts get to chill and rest and be happy in the afterlife, I am more than happy with that ending. It also makes me want to write a ton of fanfiction. Stay tuned for that). I also burst into tears when Leia died and Maz stood near her bedside and whispered, “Goodbye, Princess.” Wow, that did things to my heart!

Ian McDiarmid continues to be a goddamn delight to watch as Palpatine, and he was genuinely creepy and horrific in this movie. I still feel like bringing Palpatine back to life (albeit in zombified form) was a real slap in the face to the perfect ending of ROTJ (and it especially cheapens Anakin’s role as the Chosen One, which is really a slap in the face for me), but they did it as best they could. I think I would’ve preferred if Palpatine was in spirit form in this movie, trying to come back to life by using Rey as a conduit or a body? Something like that would’ve honored the end of ROTJ a bit more while also bringing him back as the big villain.

All in all, I liked TROS much more than I hated it, especially since I had pretty low expectations going in. I’ve talked about the big “reveals” and moments so far, but I really liked the little things in this movie! For example:

Rey, Finn, and Poe were a full-on OT3 trio in this movie, and I loved it! The mission to find the wayfinder in the desert? Adventures! Chase scenes! Exploring! Jokes! I loved it - it was definitely giving me “Tatooine in ROTJ” vibes. They all kind of wandered apart in the second half of the movie, but they came back together at the end for that hug!! Which made me cry buckets!! (Poe holding Rey’s hand as they both hug Finn??? Wow, OT3 goals, they are so in love)

Chewie and Lando were great!  Lando felt a little random in this movie (no explanation as to where he was? No mention of Han’s death?), but I always appreciate Billy Dee Williams, so I’m not complaining.

In that same vein, WEDGE CAMEO!!! They got Denis Lawson back, and right after I got back on my Wedge/Luke wagon! Damn, I wish we could’ve seen more of him (maybe there are some deleted scenes??? Listen, I neED MORE WEDGE IN MY LIFE).

And again in the same vein as cameos, um, that Jedi voice scene??? Listen, ok, hearing Hayden’s voice again was more than I ever thought we would get, I was sO EMOTIONAL, I heard him and almost immediately burst into tears. And they got Ewan and Liam Neeson and Samuel L. Jackson(!!!), and the voice actors for Ahsoka and Luminara and WOW I am super emotional, that was hands-down the best scene in the movie for me. I was so happy to hear all of them - the acknowledgement of the prequels and the rest of the Jedi, FINALLY, after 2 previous sequel movies that didn’t give a shit about them. FINALLY we got this. And you know what? I would’ve been even happier if they had shown their faces, but I will take it. I will fucking take it. (That being said: Oh, Disney Gods - please let Hayden return for flashbacks and/or hallucinations in the Obi-Wan series. Please. It’s all I want in life).

The confirmation that Leia trained as a Jedi and had a lightsaber - I almost full-on clapped in the theaters at that scene. And I loved the training sequence/flashback that they had with Luke and Leia - they actually showed them sparring and I loved it so much! It was amazing - why couldn’t they have included that earlier? (Cue me singing: “We could’ve had it allll!!!!!”).

Luke’s Force Ghost appearance really redeemed his character from the beating it got in TLJ. It was a short scene, but it felt so much more like the Luke Skywalker I know and love, and I’m glad that they gave Mark Hamill a chance to really play Luke again.

The end scene with the Resistance coming to help. It felt a little Endgame-ish to me (then again, that was arguably the best scene in Endgame), but we definitely came full circle from TLJ, where the Resistance was basically abandoned on Crait and nobody answered their distress call. In TROS, everybody answered their distress call.

I also like that C3PO had a bit more of a role! I really love R2 and C3PO, and I like that they kept to Lucas’ original vision of the two of them being the only ones to be in all 9 films. I also deeply appreciate R2 being with Leia when she died - that felt incredibly moving and appropriate, and also coming full circle from Leia’s first scene with R2 in ANH.

Finn being confirmed as Force-sensitive! Finally! Fucking 4 years since TFA and we finally got it - hallelujah.

I think that’s about it! Honestly, I’m just so high off of the endorphins of hearing Anakin and Obi-Wan and all of the Jedi again! That scene made the entire movie worth it for me.

But this is the end of the Skywalker Saga, and that makes me really sad. The one thing that I am really upset about with regards to this movie is that it literally ends the Skywalkers. At least if you end the original 6 movies with ROTJ, the implication is that Leia and/or Luke will continue the Skywalker lineage, and they will continue to be leaders and jedi and heroes - but when you add in the sequel trilogy...it just ends. Anakin’s grandson turns to the dark side and ends up (indirectly) killing Luke, Leia, and then himself. And THAT’S how the Skywalkers end? After the tragedy that was Anakin (and Padme’s) life, history just repeats itself and the family line ends? That’s...depressing. But I think that the sequel trilogy, in a way, is still very distant from the other 2 trilogies - in a way, it reminded me of a weird, high-budget delve into the EU that is technically canon, but doesn’t feel like it’s canon???

Either way, I’m happy to accept the sequel trilogy as pseudo-canon, but still apart from the original 6 movies. I’m glad that we got to see some, if not all, of the OT characters again. I wish we could’ve gotten more - out of the old and new characters - but what we got was okay, and I enjoyed the ride.

And now, I’m just going to go cry over the Skywalker family and read force ghost fanfiction :’)

[just-slide]

Rise of Skywalker - Finn is the Light Side

ALRIGHT buckle up here’s meta literally none of y’all asked for. Spoilers under the cut.

Precis: I don’t think Finn was as hard done by as some do (but still deserved better).  Cards on the table of my various opinions, because this is Tumblr and people need to know my biases so they can skip out if they don’t approve: I liked the movie, I always adored Rey and Finn as a duo in any form, and I always appreciated Kylo Ren as a villain.

So let’s get some shit out the way: I did not care for That Kiss. I did not care for TLJ deciding that 90% of Rey’s arc was her suddenly trying to redeem sad white boy Kylo Ren. The fact that Finn and Rey’s stories had been heavily intertwined in TFA only for them to be dropped as a Main Duo always vexed me. I felt TROS tried to recapture some of that but the die had already been cast that the trilogy was now about Rey and Kylo, and no longer Rey and Finn vs Evil. Thanks to Rian Johnson for benching his black male lead.

However, I’ve read criticisms saying all Finn did in TROS was run around, yell Rey’s name, and remain sidelined as a supporting character. Did he deserve more than that? Yes. Was I disappointed that, while his Force Sensitivity was proven, it didn’t really culminate in anything? Yes.

But the guy walked around all movie as the physical representation of the Light Side, especially for Rey and her conflict - which was the movie’s conflict of Light vs Dark. So I have opinions on why Finn wasn’t quite as screwed over as people think and the internet needs to know them.

Let’s break this down: Rey only ever spoke about her visions of temptation to him, where he issued repeated assurances of her strength and goodness (and yes, she was Emo in response about ‘nobody knowing her’ but let’s not forget that the narrative of the story held out that 1: Finn was right about her and 2: Ergo Finn did know her).

It becomes more overtly symbolic in all 3 of her confrontations with Kylo. When they’re fighting over Chewie’s transport, Rey is physically positioned between Kylo and Finn, one driving her to the Dark, one calling her back to the Light (could Finn have not, like, shot Kylo? I feel he should have at least tried. It would have made me feel better). On the Star Destroyer above Kijimi, when Kylo offers her his hand the second time and she refuses him, she leaps to the Falcon, away from the offer of the Dark Side and literally into Finn’s waiting grasp. And on Endor, even when Finn chasing her onto the Death Star is plot-wise completely meaningless. Its meaning comes in when Rey, in her fury, Force Pushes him back. Because he’s the bloody representation of the Light Side, her Light, and she didn’t want any of that getting in the way of her vengeful lashing out.

I agree the movie should have done a better job of demonstrating Rey’s reciprocated affection for Finn, in that he chased her a lot and she didn’t much respond to these efforts. For Finn, we get his spoken affection - for Rey, we have to go to the subtext. That he was the only one she voiced her fears and visions to. All of my above points, which are deliberate film-making choices and position Finn as more than just ‘one of her friends’ among the found family Palpatine confirms she’s made. The final Trio Hug was, yes, a Trio, but the framing emphasised Rey and Finn more. It felt like the movie really wanted them to be a majorly important dynamic but couldn’t quite stick the landing. An actual scene between just the two of them at the end, even if it had been them getting their own hug before Poe showed up (Trio Hug very important), considering they hadn’t seen each other since Rey rejected Finn on Endor (not Poe), would have gone a long way to resolving their somewhat aborted arc. This didn’t need to be romantic, so much as if they had Finn being this champion of Rey’s Light Side that she pushed away, we really needed something of them coming back together. Especially after he sensed her death. That was the bare minimum the movie should have done if they weren’t going to take further steps to develop their dynamic as less one-sided.

And who am I kidding; it was outright racism that Finn was sidelined after TFA and Finnrey was never canon. Many people of my acquaintance keep lamenting how Stormpilot never happened, and that is a crying shame. But Stormpilot arose out of excellent chemistry and acting from Boyega and Isaac. The Force Awakens, on the other hand, pretty much explicitly set up the romantic beats between Rey and Finn, and while we’ll never know for sure, I would bet my house that if Finn were white, we’d have got that. But they refused to deliver an interracial romance in Star Wars between a male black major character and a white female lead (much better for it to be between two white people even when one of them’s a mass murderer, huh?). Stormpilot was a grassroots effort which never took off because Disney are cowards. Finnrey was specifically set up in their own movies and never paid off also because Disney are cowards. I hate making it seem like I’m competing these two issues, but people can be mad about two things and should be mad about the racism as well as the homophobia that impacted these choices by Disney.

I guess I never thought Disney would ever make two of their major characters gay on screen. I thought first that they would, then that they could, keep centering a black man in Star Wars in an interracial romance with a white woman (which is, for many reasons, more subversive and challenging than white men in romances with black women in media). Oh look, I was unable to get through this screed about Light and Dark and how much I liked a particular element of this movie without descending into ‘fuck you and your racism, Disney.’ I still liked this movie, and despite having just gone on a rant supporting Finn’s role in TROS, it is unavoidable that the way the trilogy has treated Finn and John Boyega since TFA has been utterly shameful. TROS should have done a better job of fixing the damage of TLJ.

But Finn still got the be the Light Side made Manifest for our protagonist in her internal conflict between good and evil, and that’s not nothing.

[ms-camucia]

Keeping Sith On Lockdown - Thoughts on Ben Solo Not Knowing About Darth Vader

First off, for those of you not familiar with this particularly juicy bit of canon: as Ben was growing up, no one ever told him that Darth Vader is his grandfather. In fact, no one outside of Luke, Leia, and Han (possibly Chewbacca) knew that Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were one and the same. Ben was 23 when it became public knowledge - seven years before TFA.

Storytelling wise, this is a huge deal that I don’t think gets brought up enough. It means that Ben never knew that it was Luke’s love for his father, and in turn, Anakin’s for Luke, that helped defeat the Empire. He must have grown up thinking of Luke as the “great warrior” who defeated both Vader and the Emperor, a similar presumption apparently held by many real-life people for some reason. At least Ben has an excuse - he hasn’t seen ROTJ.

We don’t know the specifics, but presumably Ben had been fed a similar story to the one Luke grew up on his whole life. Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were two entirely different people, and Darth Vader was the one responsible for everything going bad, and he was defeated by Luke. Ben learns the truth eventually, and at some point, Snoke has managed to twist the story to frame it as weakness - Vader and Palpatine, the entire Empire fell because of sentiment. Hell, he may have even been able to twist it into telling Ben that Luke became as powerful as he was because he killed his father, but that’s just me speculating wildly.

Here’s how it all went down.

Might I point out that having the one eye visible through Vader’s mask - just like how it is in Luke’s vision in ESB, and how it looks in Rebels when Ahsoka gets a hit on him - is brilliant?

Toward the end of Bloodline, set roughly seven years before TFA, Leia is up for election as First Senator, a sort of centralized role of power they’re trying to establish in the wildly inefficient New Republic. A political rival, who is secretly one of the founding members of the First Order, comes into the possession of Bail Organa’s recorded confession that spilled every single detail about Leia’s true parentage, and what became of Anakin Skywalker. She holds on to the juicy secret for a while, but when she sees an opportunity for the Centrists to take power, she makes sure that the recording is seen and heard by everyone in the Senate, and it’s publicized immediately.

Obviously, this is a massive scandal, and Leia loses all political credibility. No one likes the idea of Vader’s daughter in a position of power, regardless of everything else she’s done. One of the first thoughts on Leia’s mind are the messages she will need to send out - the first and most important one being to Ben. She emphasizes that she realizes her and Luke’s huge mistake in not having told him before, always waiting for the “right moment” that never came, 23 years later. There’s still a considerable delay between the news of her parentage breaking and confirmation that she recorded and sent the message, perhaps as long as an entire day.

It basically boils down to three possibilities:

1. Leia’s message beats the speed of news, so Ben finds out from her recorded confession, the only details we know of are that it was quite harrowing for her to create.

2. Leia’s message came after the news, so Ben did not learn about his family until literally the entire galaxy found out.

OR

3. Snoke had told or hinted to Ben about his family at some point, but Ben didn’t believe that his family would lie to him like that until it became public knowledge.

Personally, here’s how I think these possibilities play out story-wise. It’s probably not #1, because then it would be too easy to just point at “Well, if Leia made a better recording, maybe Ben Solo would have never become Kylo Ren.” This is Star Wars, if there’s potential for more melodrama, it will happen. Personally, I like #2 because it makes for great drama (I’ve used it in a couple of my fanfics), and really lays the trauma of the whole thing thick. But we can go further, and take this to true Skywalker-levels of drama. 

#3 is the most intriguing possibility, and would make sense - if Snoke somehow knew all along that Luke and Leia’s father was Darth Vader, it would completely make sense why he targeted Ben since he was in utero. Now when, exactly, he decided to share that little bit of family history with Ben would be the big, story-shifting mystery there. He could have flat-out told Ben from the beginning, but I think that’s boring, especially if there’s no other proof out there in the galaxy for Ben to find. Snoke also could have deliberately withheld the information, allowing one of the other scenarios to play out. But I think Snoke hinted at Ben’s potential for greatness in the Dark (without outright saying “You’re Vader’s grandson”) throughout his whole life, something Ben denied and fought as long as he could - but then the scandal proved that Snoke was right all along, and his family lied - and this was Ben’s breaking point.

Regardless, no matter how the news reached him, Ben Solo must have felt utterly betrayed by his family. TLJ’s novelization confirmed that he already knew his parents talked about him in hushed whispers like he was some kind of monster when he was a child, and now he knows why. He’s directly descended from the most legendary monster the galaxy has ever seen. 

His parents sent him to Luke because they feared he could become - we can infer this from Han’s line in TFA about there being “too much Vader in him,” and Leia’s regret that sending him away was “when [she] lost him.” But in a very fairy tale/myth/legend self-fulfilling prophecy fashion, it was the action of sending him away instead of telling him the truth that probably sealed his fate.

I think when Luke goes to Ben just before their infamous hut encounter, it is immediately after the fallout of this news. He senses torment in Ben because all Ben can think about is how his family has lied to him, and if Snoke is in his head, he’s probably showing him all the great and terrible things he could do if he embraced his true heritage. This could very well be what Luke saw that made him react the way he did. If everyone at the Jedi school heard the news at the same time, it’s entirely possible that, like so much of the galaxy, many of Luke’s other students would have felt betrayed by Vader’s son not coming clean with them, especially if their families were directly impacted by the Empire’s actions (probably most of them). 

No matter what, I think there’s a reason that Bloodline exists, and that’s to establish the state of the galaxy at this very specific moment - showing the inefficiency of the New Republic, Leia’s mindset before her family falls apart, and just how huge an impact the Vader news has on the galaxy. Ben Solo’s backstory is definitely being kept under wraps for as long as they can, presumably so that whatever goes down in IX is extra-dramatic. 

As always, let me know if I’m wildly off-base here. I have a lot of thoughts about Star Wars (god, maybe I should rename my blog), and writing meta is my brand-new way of procrastinating writing fic.

[red-applesith]

I love this one! Thanks @villainous-surrender for tagging me!

Here are the rules:

1. Post the rules.

2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger.

3. Post 11 questions of your own.

4. Tag 11 people.

@villainous-surrender asked me the following questions:

1. Are you a fan of the Rey Kenobi theory? Why/why not?

I would have been fine with Rey Kenobi (because who wouldn’t want Ewan Mc Gregor as Rey’s grandpa?) but tbh of all the Rey parentage theories, I was more attracted to Rey Palpatine and Rey Nobody. 

2. Other Star Wars pairings that you are a fan of?

I have no issues with any SW pairings (canon or not) but I’m not invested in any of them if that’s the question. 

3. When did you first start shipping reylo and why?

December 2015, after my first viewing, although I’m not a shipper at heart so it took me 4 viewings to sort of process my emotions. 

I instantly latched onto the mythological aspect of Rey and Kylo’s relationship but I also loved how the writers had subverted the gender dynamic between the two characters, and that’s what really sealed the deal for me. It also took me a few months to process and accept what I had seen inside Kylo’s character. When you’ve been living in denial for 30 years it’s scary to open up.   

4. Are there other hero/villain pairings that you like? I’ll give you my first ship and one of my favorites: batcat.

Hum, not really, but kinda yes at the same time? I was into Marauder area Snupin when I was younger so it kinda fits the profile? 

5. After watching Episode VIII, do you honestly believe Rey and Kylo will have a happy ending? Why/why not?

Yes. Because the seeds have been planted for them to have a reconciliation and I have a theory about how we can save Ben Solo’s neck (I am DYING to share my ideas, but it’s the whole plot of the fanfic I’m writing so I don’t want to discuss it beforehand lol). Also, Kathleen Kennedy confirmed multiple times that SW is about HOPE. There’s no point in having those two characters being killed off or separated at the end of 9.   

6. List one thing you really liked about TLJ and one thing you didn’t.

Liked: Obviously Reylo. I mean, I’m one of those obnoxious shippers who never doubted it was canon and endgame but at the same time, I expected to see their relationship bloom in 9, not within the first twenty minutes of TLJ. XD I was over the moon. Also, I am so vindicated that ‘my’ reylo is canon (depressed, self-loathing Kylo & wide-eyed not-so-farting-rainbows-Rey.)

Didn’t like: I guess Leia in space is the bit that threw me off a little, especially the first time. I’m glad that we were given the opportunity to witness how strong she is with the Force but it does feel OTT. 

Other than that, I can’t say I hated any other aspect of the movie because it carries messages that I strongly believe in.

7. Who is your favorite Star Wars character (that also isn’t one of the main characters in this trilogy or past ones)?

HK-47, you can tell he was written by David Gaider. <3

8. Which do you prefer: dark!reylo, reyben (redeemed!Ben Solo), or gray jedi?

Gray/Prime Jedi is my jam. Gimme balance, reconciliation, healing, and acceptance that your dark impulses are natural. 

9. What do you think about Kylo’s whole “I will finish what my grandfather started!” Why do you think this is one of his main motivations, and do you think he doesn’t know that Anakin was redeemed in the end?

Ah! That sentence is so meta, I love it <3. 

But okay, to me, in the context of the movie (aka what Kylo is actually thinking), it means ending the Jedi once and for all - because that was a big part of Darth Vader’s job. There’s also this misconception that Tuanul village was a settlers compound when the villagers were actually cultists of the Church of the Force. They were religious opponents to Ren, which explains why he treated them as war enemies. The Church of the Force and Lor San Tekka are really intent on bringing back the Jedi Order, which obviously goes against Kylo’s spiritual beliefs (also when a Jedi tried to kill you in your sleep, you’re probably not inclined to believe they’re the good guys.)

As for what Kylo really knows about Vader, I think that it’s pretty distorted. From Bloodline, we know he wasn’t aware that Vader was his grandfather until late, meaning his family lied to him all his life. We can safely assume that after that, he would take whatever information they fed him about Vader and the Empire with a grain of salt. This leaves Snoke, as his sole purveyor of information, which also explains why Kylo in TFA is so obsessed with connecting with objects belonging to Vader. As a Force user, that’s probably his sole source of “reliable” (ahem) information. 

10.  If you were a character in the SW universe, what kind of person do you think you would be? A Jedi? A stormtrooper? A PORG?!?

I would like to be a powerful Force-sensitive warrior of some sort and that’s why I really hope Rey and Kylo are going to go down the Prime Jedi route. I would be a pretty poor Jedi but I couldn’t be a Sith. But with my luck, if I was reincarnated as a Star Wars character, I’d probably be a slave on a backwater planet or a fathier.

11. And finally: Are you a writer, artist, or just here for the fun? If you are either a writer or artist, what inspires you the most in this fandom?

I've been dabbling in a bit of everything, although no one ever picks me in either fanfic writers, fanartists or meta writers lists (You’re all hurting my 3 feelings guyz!) 

The dynamic between Rey and Kylo is what inspires me the most. Even when writing modern AUs I try to stay true to their characterization and what motivates them. I’m in love ‘kay?

My questions:

Rate the Star Wars movies in order, from your favourite to least favourite.

What’s your true opinion on Anakin? Victim of circumstances or little shit? Bit of both?

Darth Maul: Hot or Nope? 

What’s your favourite Reylo moment in canon, and why?

What’s your favourite Reylo trope/moment in fandom? (can be a scene from a specific fanfic or something general)

Is there anything you’d written differently if you were working on Star Wars since 1977?

Can you believe we were given the gift of shirtless Kylo on the big screen?

What’s your ideal Reylo ending? (marriage, exile, babies, tragic death,...)

Do you have something in common with Rey?

Do you have something in common with Kylo Ren/Ben Solo?

What is the (N)SFW Reylo headcanon you will defend to the death?

I tag: @kuresoto @i-am-thesenate @personalphilosophie @solikerez @lariren-shadow @punkeraa @shieldmaidenfreda @leofgyth @ridingbensolo @somaybelikeno @cosetteskywalker

[lastoneout]

Alone Together

Chapter 1: And The World Keeps Turning

Rating: PG

Ship: Kidge/Pieth/Keidge, Pidge/Keith

Fic Summary:

It had been a long, exhausting year since the Paladins of Voltron had finally defeated Zarkon and brought a fragile peace to the universe. After the loss of Shiro, the team tries to move on, and the tension brings together Keith and Pidge in ways neither could have imagined.

Fic Notes:

Fic was written pre-season 3, and thus is now an AU that diverts from curren canon. I have, however, taken current canon into consideration and adjusted several details to be closer to what’s actually happening in the show.

I started writing this right after season two came out, but its a long fic and I didn't get a chance to finish it before season three hit. But since I felt that season three was kinda anti-climactic, I decided to finish writing this as a way to get my ideas out and to give me something to do until season 4.

A03

It had been a long and exhausting year since the Paladins of Voltron had finally defeated Zarkon and brought a tentative peace to the universe.

It had also been a year since anyone had seen Takashi Shirogane.

It was hard, at first. They frantically searched every corner of the galaxy, called every old ally, but they came up empty time and time again. Eventually it was agreed that there was nothing to be done. He was gone.

But there was still much to do. Even without Shiro they had a job, and peace was a relative term. While the high command of Galra empire had been quiet, there were still hundreds of planets held under generals and commanders with delusions of grandeur who refused to loosen their hold. Besides, Pidge still had to find her family, and Allura began reaching out and laying the foundation for a more formal alliance between the worlds and rebels who had fought against Zarkon in Voltron’s absence. And all the while they hoped that somehow, somewhere, they would find Shiro.

Keith, despite his strong reservations, had agreed to be their new leader. The new Black Paladin. The whole team had been supportive. Voltron was needed, and Shiro had the right as their leader to chose who would take his place. Even Lance had eventually agreed, uncharacteristically kind as he said “It’s what Shiro wanted.” None of them even mentioned his Galra ancestry. In the end the only one who ever seemed hesitant about his ability to lead, was himself.

“Keith? Keith are you ok there?” Pidge’s voice cut through his thoughts, and he snapped to attention. “Lance and Hunk are in position, should we proceed?”

“Right, you said you found the prisoners?”

She sighed, “Yes, deck three, Hunk and Lance are ready to break them out and Allura and Red are waiting by the escape pods to get them to the castle. Should we proceed?”

“Yes, right, Proceed.” He said over the coms, “Pidge and I will be right behind you.”

“I’m almost done,” She said from her post by the ship's main computer, her glasses glinting in the monitor light.

Keith nodded and turned back to guarding the door, groaning internally. He spaced out again, probably costing the team valuable time, seconds and minutes that could mean the difference between life and death.

The missions they took on had a simple formula, take out the galra command, break the prisoners out, download whatever data they could and get back to the ship. It was simple and it worked, but he still faltered, the weight of his role almost too much to bear. He tried to be quick, decisive, but he second guessed every choice, worried that one wrong move could end in disaster. Most days, even after successful missions, he picked apart his performance, every little detail, and wondered why Shiro ever thought that he could be a leader.

“Alright, that’s everything.” Pidge said, snapping her personal computer closed, “Let’s get out of here.”

He nodded, and they quickly made their way down the glowing purple corridors to where their lions waited.

The flight back to the castle was uneventful, he could hear the team celebrating over the coms, asking Pidge about her data and checking in with Allura and the prisoners. They laughed at something Hunk said, and he resisted the urge to take his helmet off. They needed to be able to contact him, even if their jovial tone made his stomach turn as his mind begin tearing down his moves and decisions. How could they not see that he could have cost them everything?

Back at the castle he lingered with the team long enough to see the prisoners into the healing pods and to confirm that they had warped far away from the outpost. He let the team congratulate him over another mission well done, forcing a smile and returning their sentiments. They needed him to be strong. He noticed Pidge out of the corner of his eye, staring at him oddly, and he wilted slightly under her gaze. He forced a smile and waved at her, but the burning judgement of her inquisitive gaze still lingered after he had turned away.

When at last he excused himself and retreated into the cool darkness of his room he felt the anxiety and disappointment fall over him. He quickly stripped the armour that he would always think of as Shiro’s(Allura assured him that it would fit whoever wore it, but it always felt to big, too wrong, too much like Shiro.) He let the pieces clatter to the ground and pulled on a shirt and loose pants, collapsing onto his bed. He let out a heavy sigh, ignoring the deep achy feeling in his eyes and the pain in his chest.

His mind drifted back to the mission, to his hesitation. Sure, the team hadn’t said anything, but there was exasperation in Pidge’s voice as she re-explained the situation to him, (and her subsequent judgemental stare still lingered in his mind.) He knew they all noticed his failings. It wasn't the first time his mind had wandered during a tense situation. He tried to stay focused, but the thoughts of failure, of ‘what would Shiro do’ and all the doubt clouded his judgement no matter how hard he fought them.

‘You’ll never be as good as he was.’ a quiet, scary voice spoke from somewhere in his mind, and he felt loathing build in his chest, directed only at himself. He couldn’t disagree. It hurt, and he knew Shiro would be disappointed, but he couldn’t drive the feeling away. Often he wanted to pass the role of leader to someone, Allura maybe or Lance, convinced that anyone could do it better. (At the core of it all, he just wanted Shiro back. But that thought was still too dark and broken for him to linger on it.)

Instead he let his mind fade into fuzz and quiet chaos, floating half-awake in the nothingness for a long while.

...But then someone was knocking on his door, and a quiet voice called out, “Hey, Keith? Are you in there?”

He screwed up his eyes, briefly wanting to just ignore whoever it was, but after a moment he stood and walked to his door. He paused for a moment, breathing deeply and gathering himself, before he hit the button and it opened with a hiss.

Pidge stood there in her pajamas(a pastel green and orange thing she had picked up on some market) and was holding a plate of what looked like cookies in one hand and her laptop in the other.

“I just wanted to check on you,” She said, holding up the plate, “and I brought you some food, it’s the last of the pastries the Olkarians gave us.”

“I’m pretty sure Hunk was saving those.” He said, trying to dodge the questioning look in her eyes.

“He’ll live.” She deadpanned, before her face fell. She looked almost embarrassed as she continued, “Besides, you seemed like you needed some company...we don’t have to talk if you don’t want, I’ve got a few movies on my computer.”

He stared at her, and her shy look turned irritated at his silence. “Well? Can I come in?”

“Oh...um, yeah. Sure.” He stepped to the side, letting her in. He flicked on the lights while she sat awkwardly on his bed. He joined her, keeping his gaze averted.

“So what’s it gonna be, talking or a movie?” She asked, and he sighed. He could tell that she really wanted to talk about the mission, but he didn’t think he was up for it. But, she wasn’t prying, clearly giving him another option, and it had been a long time since he had hung out with any of the others...maybe a one-on-one movie night would be nice. Besides, out of all of the Paladins Pidge was the one who best understood what he was feeling. She had lost her whole family, and Shiro was not only her friend and confidant, he was her only link to them.

“...What movies do you have?”

She seemed disappointed for a moment, but she shook it off with a smile and pulled her computer onto her lap, opening it and turning it on. “I’ve got got all of the Star Wars movies, Interstellar, The Martian, and Pacific Rim, you might like that one...”

“Pacific Rim? Don’t think I’ve heard of it.”

She gasped dramatically, ”Really? I cannot believe you pilot a giant robot and you’ve never seen Pacific Rim.”

“What?” He said holding his hands up in defense, “There’s not a lot of time to watch movies when you live in a shack in the desert.”

“That’s fair. Still, this is a problem we need to fix.”

Keith ended up liking the movie a lot. Pidge occasionally chimed in with small comments about scientific inaccuracies or comparisons to Voltron. She even let out gasps of excitement when things got intense, grabbing his arm, her eyes practically shining. He smiled more at her than the movie, and felt some of the stress and pain of the day ease up, the scary voice in his mind uncharacteristically quiet.

They started on the Star Wars movies next, and eventually somewhere between them Pidge rested her head on his shoulder, and in a moment was sound asleep. He tried to pay attention to the movie, but her soft breathing and warm presence was just enough to distract him. He gazed down at her, a warm, melancholy feeling growing in his chest at her peaceful face. Sometimes he forgot that they were all just teenagers, basically children forced to grow up too soon. How long had it been since Pidge, or any of them for that matter, had felt free? Out in space, growing up fighting and saving people. So much weight on their shoulders. When would any of them have the chance to be teens again? Go to school, make friends, fall in love...

He blushed, suddenly very aware of Pidge’s weight against his own. She mumbled something, reaching up and wrapping her arm around his chest, pulling herself closer. Her hair, now shoulder length, tickled his arm. She really was cute.

The reasonable side of him wanted to wake her up and send her on her way. Forget inappropriate, this was falling into much more dangerous territory. Keith had reasons that he didn’t get close to people, every loss taking another part of him leaving only pain and darkness instead. Pidge was sweet, and he could see himself...liking her. But he could just as easily lose her, lose any of them. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t smart.

But her breathing was light and she smelled nice, and soon his own eyes were drooping. A little nap couldn’t hurt, right? He sighed, yeah, just a little nap. He closed her laptop and set it aside, sliding down lower under the blankets and letting his eyes fall shut. He focusing on her warmth and soft breaths, soon slipping into a deep, restful sleep.

Keith didn’t wake until the early morning. He stretched out, wincing at the cramp in his back from an old injury. Pidge was still deep in sleep, her face now smooshed up against his bed, her hair a mess. He suppressed a laugh. She really was cute.

But as he sat up the reasonable side of him was back. He felt the depression curl around in his chest, pushing away any warm feelings and leaving only dull pain. This had been a bad idea. What had he been thinking? Pidge needed to go back to her room, and then they could both forget this ever happened. Keith was a leader, and leaders didn’t do...well, whatever this was.

“Pidge.” He shook her shoulder gently and she groaned, “Come on Pidge, gotta get up.”

“Five...five more min...” She mumbled, and he sighed.

“Pidge, get up.” His voice had a bit more bite to it than he had intended, and he winced internally. She sat up slowly, her eyes tired, but he could see that fire in them again. He turned away.

“Let’s go, I’ll walk you back to your room.”

“Ok, fine.” She said quietly, and he tried to ignore the hurt in her voice.

The walk was awkward to say the least, Pidge shuffling along a few steps behind him, both silent. He felt a new sensation burn in his chest at the situation, something like regret and he suddenly had the crazy notion to turn and pull her into a hug. But that was ridiculous, so he pushed it away. Sure, hanging out with Pidge had been fun, something he hadn’t had in a long time, and sleeping next to her had helped relieve his anxiety. He couldn’t remember the last time he had slept that deeply, no nightmares or panic attacks to speak of.

But, again he reminded himself, he was a leader, and none of the team, not even Pidge, needed to see him weak. He had an image to uphold, they needed him to be strong, and attachments...were not a good idea.

When they made it to her room he stopped and gave her a quick look. She seemed contemplative, her eyes still giving him that weird, penetrating look. He needed to get out of here. He mumbled something like a thank you or a sleep well and turned away, prepared to dash down to the training deck and bottle up all of the horrible weird feelings that were coursing through him, but before he could take a step she spoke, her voice clear and accusatory.

“I can feel it, you know.”

“What?” He asked, thrown off by her hard, accusatory tone.

“Your pain. Through the bond. Though Voltron. You try to keep it hidden but I know it’s there. It’s affecting us all. The others don’t know where it’s coming from but I can see it, the weird sadness that falls over us sometimes. It’s you.”

He stared back at her, a sudden pang of rage and fear hitting him. “And?”

She put down her computer and stepped closer to him, her voice rising, “And I don’t understand why you try to keep it to yourself!”

“I...I am the leader I hav-”

“Oh cut that ‘I’m the leader’ crap. We’re your team...we’re your friends. We want to help. It’s hard all around, you know. We all miss Shiro,” He flinched at the name, but she continued regardless, “and I know you were close and that you’re stressed ‘cuz of it, but you can’t keep hiding your feelings and keeping secrets. I know that better than anyone. It just ends up hurting people.”

“What do you want me to say Pidge?” He countered, the rage and hopelessness he was feeling making him reckless, “That I’m scared? That I’m constantly worried that I’m going to screw up and someone’s going to get hurt?”

“Yes, if it helps!”

He threw his arms in the air, “Well I am! But it’s not like I can let it show, now can I? Would Shiro? No, because a leader isn’t weak. You all need me to be strong, you all need me to lead and keep you safe and make the right choices, that’s what Shiro did!”

“You’re not Shiro! You will never be Shiro, ok?” She shouted back, and he instantly tensed. He took a step back, the anger and adrenaline mixing with fear and loathing, pushing his pulse through the roof. She froze, her face falling into hard realization as he stepped further back from her, but he didn’t notice, trying hard to relax, to breathe, to see past the thoughts overtaking his mind. ‘You’re not Shiro, you’ll never be Shiro you’ll never be good enough you’ll never be a lea-’

He felt hands, small but strong on his shoulders. Pidge was in front of him, her gaze cutting through the panic. She looked scared and regretful, but she still spoke, her voice level.

“Keith, listen to me.” Her hands kept him close, kept him focused, and he nodded.

“Yes, you will never be Shiro, but that is not a bad thing. You have to stop holding yourself to these ridiculous standards. You’re Keith, not Shiro, you’ve got to do things your way.”

She gave him a small smile, and his breathing started to calm, his muscles relaxing, “We all screw up sometimes Keith, it’s ok.”

“But...but what if...”

“We get hurt?” He nodded again, “That won’t happen. We’ve got brains, stupid. We can fight and stay safe.”

“Look...I know it’s not easy,” She continued, “But please, just believe that we are here for you. Stop keeping all of this to yourself. We...We are all we’ve got out here, and that’s scary...but we’re a family. We aren’t gonna let you face this alone. I won’t let you face it alone.”

She stepped back finally, and he tried not to miss the soft, grounding pressure of her hands. He took one last deep breath, surprised at how her words had calmed his mind. He felt a swift relief, and wanted to laugh for some reason, but he held it back.

“So the next time this gets bad, come find one of us.” She said, “I’m always up for another movie night.”

He smiled, “Ok.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Alright, good.” She crossed her arms, stifling a yawn. “Are you gonna be ok for right now? And don't lie.”

“I think so, yeah...” He said, shocked at the sureness in his voice. He had used that as a quick lie before, but suddenly it felt true. “You should probably try to get some more sleep, Pidge.” he added.

She blinked tiredly in agreement, and turned away, before pausing. She looked up at him, her face colored with an odd blush, her eyes unsure.

“What?” He asked, nervous.

“Katie. My real name...you can call me that, if you want.”

He felt a blush grow on his own face, as if she had trusted him with some great secret, not just her name.

“Ok...Katie.” It suited her, he thought, small and sweet, with a bit of a bite. He blushed harder.

An awkward silence grew between them, neither sure what to say, so Pidge broke it, clearing her throat.

“Ok then. I’m gonna...go back to bed.” She gestured at her door.

“Sounds good.” He said quickly, nodding.

“Right. See you around.”

“Right.”

Her words didn’t leave him, even days later, new missions planned and prisoners freed, they still lingered in his mind.

“I have to do things my way.” he said to himself during a solo training session, trying the words out. It was something he hadn’t really thought of before. Shiro had been a great leader, and Keith had only thought to try to do what he did. But now he felt himself considering past situations in a new light. What would he do?

Sometimes the answer was good, decisive and straightforward...other times, not so much. He knew he had a tendency to dive in without thinking, hot headed and ready for a fight. Thinking felt...unnatural to him. But Shiro’s words still rang true in his head, patience yields focus, and he noticed that when he paused to think, asking ‘What would Keith do’ yielded significantly more focus than, ‘What would Shiro do’.

The training bot swung at him and he dodged the attack, rolling and coming up behind it. He slashed, and his sword hit its mark, knocking the bot off balance and providing him the perfect opening to end the fight.

He stuck the final blow and the bot powered down. Keith felt his bayard revert forms and de-materialize. That was enough training for one day. He walked over to the wall, where a bench held his water and a fresh towel.

He drank the cool water and dried off, his mind wandering again. It was still early, and there were a few days before their next planned attack. Keith had never been a fan of free time, back on earth he filled it with planning and training and gathering supplies. The others of course, disagreed, and when they were done fixing up their gear and preparing they were more than happy to relax, bathe and talk and nap. It was weird to him.

But Pidge...she had said that he could come hang out with her. Of course, she had actually said ‘if things get bad’ and he was feeling pretty ok...but maybe...

Before he knew it he was leaving the training deck and making his way to Green’s hanger. He would just stop by, see how she was doing, maybe chat for a bit. No harm in that. It was team building. Yeah, just team building.

He found her at her workbench, slumped down in her chair, her eyes reading over line after line of galra text. She was busy. That was fine, he thought, ignoring the slight disappointment in his chest. It wasn’t like he really needed to hang out or anything. He’d just...wanted to, that’s all.

‘I’ll just say hi real fast’, he thought, stepping into the room, but he stopped when he got a good look at her face. She seemed troubled, her features scrunched up, and her eyes...they looked glassy, almost wet. Was she crying? He walked closer, his reservations falling away. Pidge had helped when he was feeling down, the least he could do was return the favor.

“Hey...” He paused. She had told him to call her Katie, but it still felt too private, too personal. “Hey, Pidge.” He called instead, and she sat up. He pretended he didn’t see how she blushed and wiped at her eyes before she turned to look at him.

“Oh, Keith, what’s up?” She asked.

“Nothing much. I just wanted to say hi...and see if you maybe wanted to hang out. Or something. You know?” She grinned at his awkward tone. “What did you have in mind?”

He faltered, having not thought that far. What was there to do on a giant castle-ship? It was cool, sure, but pretty barren. It was built to house hundreds of people, not six. He looked down at her again, faltering again at her knowing grin.

“Um, how about we...uh...” He shrugged, gesturing helplessly at her workbench, “...You could show me one of your projects?”

Her eyes lit up, but when she turned back to her computer she deflated, and slowly closed the laptop. “Maybe some other time, yeah? Hey!” She perked up again and lowered her voice conspiratorially, “I heard there was a pool on the ship, right? We could check that out. I haven’t been swimming in ages.”

Keith shivered, thinking back to being stranded in the elevator with Lance, having to climb up the tube and hope that he didn’t die a dumb, painful death next to the most insufferable person on their team. If that never happened again it would be too soon. But Pidge was good with tech stuff...and he could think of worse people to be stuck in an enclosed space with.

“Do you know how to hot-wire an elevator?”

“Yeah...but why would that matter?” She asked, giving him an odd look.

“No reason.” He said, “But yeah, there’s a pool. I’d be up for a swim.”

“Sounds good, meet you there in ten?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Keith made it there before Pidge did, standing awkwardly in the humid air, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious. He had been shirtless in front of the team more than a few times, but suddenly he found himself eying his chest in the shiny glass windows, wondering vacantly if he looked alright.

“This is stupid.” He mumbled, turning away from his reflection. He looked just like he always did, completely fine. Muscles, arms, skin in all the right places. And even if something was wrong it’s not like he could do anything about it now. Everything was just fine. Just. Fine.

At last Pidge arrived, dashing in clutching a towel and apologizing for being late. “Sorry, it took me forever to get changed and then I got lost and ran into Allura and she tried to get me into this skimpy swim outfit and shaking her was a whole thing on it own...”

“Not a problem, Pidge.” He said with a smile. He noted that she looked rather adorable in her swim trunks(the same ones all the paladins had, just in green) and a t-shirt, and tried to push the thought of whatever odd outfit Allura had wanted her to wear out of his head.

“Wow,” She said, whistling as she took in the large room, “This is way better than the pool on the base.” Keith agreed. The room was quite elegant, clearly showcasing the Altean’s passion for grandiose interior design.

“Well let’s get this party started!” She pulled off her glasses and tossed them to the side with her towel, running to the water and jumping in with a huge splash. After a moment she surfaced with a gasp, shaking the water out of her eyes and shivering. Apparently Alteans didn’t believe in pool heaters.

“Come on, w-what are you waiting for? The water’s great!” She shivered again, “Really....refreshing.”

He turned away, silently walking back towards the far wall, and Pidge scoffed.

“What, a-are you t-too chicken?”

“You wish,” He said with a smirk, before taking a running start and jumping in. Pidge laughed as his wave overtook her and sent her spiraling a few feet away.

When he came up she grinned at him, “That was awesome!” she shouted, and he was suddenly struck by how, well, beautiful she looked. Water droplets flying everywhere, hair messy, skin glowing in the muted light, and that huge, wonderful grin on her face. Somewhere, something inside of him decided that he would do anything to protect that smile, and his face took on a rosy blush.

She swam towards the edge of the pool, hoisting herself up and eyeing him, “But...I bet I can do better.”

“Is that a challenge?” He asked.

“Oh, you bet it is.”

They took turns cannonballing into the water, both laughing and judging each other's splashes. After he gave her a pitiful five out of ten she decided to tackle him, and they splashed and playfully shoved each other ‘till they both could hardly breathe from all the laughing.

“Hey!” They both jumped and turned to see Lance standing at the door, Hunk following not far behind. “They stole our idea!”

“Finders keepers,” Pidge said with a shrug, “What are you gonna do about it?”

Lance grinned, throwing his towel off and stalking into the water. “Chicken, right now, me and Hunk against you and Keith. Winner gets the pool.”

“Best two out of three?” She asked and he nodded.

“What’s chicken?” Keith asked quietly as Lance occupied himself with getting Hunk into the chilly water.

“You’ve never played chicken?” She asked, and he gave her a look.

“Shack. In the desert. Remember? Not a whole lot of water.”

“Ok, it’s really simple.” She explained, “You have two teams, and the smaller one gets on the shoulders of the bigger one and tries to push the opposite team over.”

“I think we might have a slight disadvantage.” He deadpanned, looking at Hunk, who despite shivering and complaining waist deep in the pool and still looked solid and sturdy.

“Oh don’t worry about him, he’s ticklish.”

“If you say so.”

“Alright you pansies, let’s get this started!” Lance shouted, a cocky smile on his face, and Keith couldn’t help but get excited. Lance was like that, it was hard not to mirror his enthusiasm.

“I hope you’re ready to get your asses handed to you!” Pidge shouted back. Keith moved to pick her up but hesitated, blushing again. She gave him another odd look and he quickly shook the feeling off and leaned down so that she could climb onto his shoulders.

In the end, Hunk’s ticklishness was his team’s downfall, and in no time at all Pidge and Keith had knocked them off balance three times, laughing as the pair surfaced, sputtering and shivering.

“Ok, t-that one wasn’t fair!” Lance shouted, flipping his sopping hair out of his face.

“No tickling, Pidge, sheesh.” Hunk added, holding his hands under his arms.

“All’s fair in love and war, guys. You’re just mad cause you lost.” Pidge replied, giving Keith a congratulatory fist bump.

“But,” She continued, still perched on Keith’s shoulders, “I suppose we could be persuaded to share the pool. What d’you say Keith, should we let them stay?”

“Hmmm...” He feigned consideration, “Well, as the leader of Voltron...my vote is, yes. They can stay.”

“Like we needed your permission...” Lance mumbled, “Ok, new challenge. Keith, I bet I can hold my breath longer than you!”

Keith smirked, ready to accept, but Pidge wiggled off of him and pointed at Lance. “I’m getting in on this because I know for a fact that I can hold my breath longer than both of you.”

“No way. Water is my element, after all.”

“That’s a lot of talk Lance." Keith interjected.

"Yeah, why don’t you put some proof behind those words before I make you eat ‘em.” Pidge added.

It turned out that Pidge could not, in fact, hold her breath longer than Lance. But, never the type to back down from a fight, she demanded a re-match, and after she lost again she and Lance took turns coming up with wild and slightly dangerous contests. Keith happily played along, gloating when he won and laughing when he didn't. Eventually Hunk joined in, and ended up schooling the three of them more than a few times.

When at last they decided to retire, poking fun at each other's messy hair and prune-y fingers, and laughing at some bad joke Lance had come up with, Keith couldn't help the warm feeling in his chest from growing. And it wasn't until he was showered and warm in his bed that he realised that they had had fun, together as a team, for the first time in ages. Even without Shiro they could be friends, be together...be happy. It was a weird, wonderful, scary thought, but for once Keith fell asleep, not sad and empty, but happy and feeling like things would actually be ok.

[opallene]

10 fandoms, 10 characters

Aka apparently laying my soul bare, and if you read this you’ll probably get to know me quiite well. ._.

Rules: Choose 10 different fandoms and pinpoint your favorite character from each one. Then tag 10 more. I was tagged by @citrus-cactus !!

1. Digimon: Koushiro Izumi (Izzy).  It is certainly a close call between him and Taichi, but when I “got back into” Digimon early in high school (and found all of the glorious Japanese content, including and especially the character image songs), I found that Koushiro/Izzy was my spirit guide in a way no other character could be.  Always value the truth-seekers and “explainers” in your world, and be one if that’s your nature (=me, or so I’ve always figured), but that nature is not without its difficulties.  Koushiro was an inspiration to me as he learned to open up; enjoy experiences, the world, and other people more; to not be so serious and insular all the time.  Thank you, Toei, for this beautiful and pure child who helped me learn life lessons and stuff.

2. Pokemon: Clem-onnnntt!  Right back atcha, my fangirl bff!  Our shared obsession with Clemont (and really, all of XY(Z) but especially Clemont) nurtured a great friendship that I am truly thankful for! （*＾3＾）/    But of course, there are GOOD REASONS why Clemont is so worthy of being the object of obsession.  Okay, so there is a theme going so far, I guess.  Socially kind of awkward nerd who focuses on the stuff he already understands well and needs a kick in the pants to get out into the world and Experience Real Stuff.  It’s so relatable how Clemont always really, really wants to do the right thing and gives himself a really hard time when he thinks he’s failed.  Kid has a heart of gold.  His friends don’t appreciate him enough, and as much as I ship Diode, even Ash doesn’t quite deserve him. tbh!!

3. Yuri!!! On Ice: Yuri Plisetsky.  Hmmkay, so this kitty cat doesn’t go out of his way to make anyone like him, but that’s probably what is so good about him.  I like characters who focus on themselves, because I believe I will never have that ”mom” instinct to put others first, and I guess I probably find validation watching characters with a tendency toward self-preservation find their groove and find success.  Yuri(o) is an underdog(cat?) because of his young age.  He fights relentlessly, but crucially, he is playing by the rules - He understands early on that you have to improve your own self in order to win.  It’s not about taking anyone else down a peg.  This is important.  His words can be sharp, but I think he and everyone else know that they’re just a blunt knife for little more than show.  What’s a tsundere to do when the world is full of annoying people?  Oh yeah, cuddle the cat and flaunt that leopard-print luggage with no apologies.  And be as beautiful and as deadly as possible.  l love this rough-edged but ultimately very clean Ice Tiger so much.

4. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Starlight Glimmer.  I don’t talk about MLP much here.  Or, I guess, anywhere?  I’m not really “involved” in the fandom (Bronies: meh), but I’ve seen every episode and am close to catching up on every issue of the comic book.  Twilight Sparkle (nerdy, friendless, insular protagonist - gee, pattern) was always my favorite for a long time, but she eventually got kind of stagnant.  (There’s only so much you can do when she’s “learned all of her lessons” and become an “expert” in the subject of Friendship by the end of the third season...)  Starlight Glimmer is a LOT like Twilight, but she comes with a darker past and a sassier edge (and very specific avoidant tendencies when she’s experiencing anxiety).  She’s very sharp, and maybe a bit more intuitive than book-reliant Twilight.  It’s as if she’s older and wiser than the other ponies in some ways, but far behind them developmentally in others.  Relatable again, I think?  Anyway, everything she does gets my attention.  I look forward to her continued development.

5. The Lion King/The Lion Guard: Fuli.  I guess I have to treat this all as one fandom since it’s the same universe.  Much as I’ve always loved Princess Kiara (and Nala, and, well, every lovely and fierce feline lady), Fuli ultimately gets to be Top Cat.  If you only ever watch one episode of The Lion Guard, make it “Fuli’s New Family.”  It kind of changed my life (errr, even though I’m a grown-up) because just knowing that a cartoon aimed at small children is explicitly sending the message that it’s okay to be a loner sometimes and enjoy your time apart from others is so_extremely_important to me.  I don’t think I ever saw anything close to this type of Validation of Introversion when I was actually a small child, but I’m sure I would’ve made good use of it in coming to understand myself better.  Young introverts of today will not want to miss Fuli.  She’s also got sass and confidence to spare.  A+ Role Model Cheetah.

6. Clarence: Jeff Randell.  This Cartoon Network show is such a gem.  Jeff seems like your basic Type A at first, but...Well, that’s basically what he is.  Jeff’s neuroses and self-destructive habits never fail to make me laugh at myself.  He’s really kind of a selfish character, too, and I think what this show gets right is how...real that is?  Several imperfect personality types are displayed in a forthright manner, while the show still manages to be very light-hearted and silly.  Jeff takes Serious Things (like gold stars in the classroom) Seriously.  He’s kind of a germophobe.  He detects slights easily, and overreacts to them.  He spends money he doesn’t have on collectible crap.  Yep, Jeff is pretty relatable.

7. Archie Comics/Riverdale: Jughead Jones.  All right.  I’m not gonna get into the What Even Is This Version rant about Riverdale, because I don’t think my followers care, but let’s just treat it all as more or less the same fandom since canon gets reinvented in comics all the time anyway.  I’m certainly not well versed in all of the Archie Comics history, but I’ve been reading the 2015 reboot comics faithfully, and scattered classic stories here and there.  Jughead does what Jughead feels like doing and doesn’t give a crap.  Whether it’s because he has a troubled home life and is cynical about humanity, or because he just really, really likes food, Jughead’s interests and point of view are always a little off-beat, and tbh, whatever he is up to is usually far more interesting than the relationship drama that surrounds him.  Plus, he’s kind of a cutie-pie, especially in D. Charm’s art style.

8. The X-Files: Dana Scully.  I mean.  Mulder and Scully both are the eternal best (and probably only fandom-worthy) law enforcement duo to ever exist.  But Scully (The Skeptic™) is a role model for girls and women everywhere.  She elevates science, speaks her mind and does not take shit, including and especially when that shit is coming from her male coworkers.  I am eternally grateful that they were able to cast her as a “normal” woman (pretty, but not a bombshell) in spite of the wishes of the Fox network when the show was being developed.  Scully is badass (but also vulnerable in ways that make her interesting as a character) and will always be one of my favorite fictional ladies ever.

9. Peanuts: Peppermint Patty.  Charles Schulz introduced Peppermint Patty in 1966, when “Women’s Lib” was a hot topic and being a tomboy was still not nearly as acceptable as it would become in later decades.  Peppermint Patty wears shorts and Birkenstocks, and is the best baseball player in town.  Popular fan consensus is that she is a lesbian, but that was never confirmed by the creator.  I think it’s super important that she has displayed all manner of thoughts and emotions, from the blunt “masculine” to the very insecure and emotional “feminine.”  She’s another character who just is who she is, without trying to conform to anything in particular.  I’m pretty sure I thought she was a boy for awhile when I was a kid, lol.  Whether or not they were meant to be read as a couple (heck though, I ship it), I adore her interplay with her constant companion, Marcie.  These two characters really made this comic strip shine above and beyond to me.

10. Hey Arnold!: Helga Pataki.  I’m sorry, but is it actually possible to have a different favorite character from this show?  Helga was Tsundere to the max, before I ever even knew that was a trope.  Maybe she helped define the trope, I don’t know.  In my world, she did.  Everything about Helga was so extreme, but so raw and genuine.  And hilarious, and kind of heartbreaking.  This show went so far as to depict her in therapy over her deeply repressed obsession and her borderline neglect-case home life.  Ballsy for a kids’ cartoon.  I will always be rooting for Helga, and can’t wait for the new TV movie.

Not tagging, but anyone who wants to do this (and say I tagged them), please do!!  You might just learn about yourself...Ahahaha.

[athina39]

ibo s2 e14/e15 thoughts!

a bit late and long so here goes!!!

• • • re: OP song & symbolism - so the flower that features prominently in the OP is the red spider lily (lycoris). now, it's possible to read too much into op sequences, but since lycoris is pretty well-known in jap hanakotoba/legends AND gundam ibo has lots of flower symbolism already in place in canon (iron flower, ice flower, etc), i'm guessing that there's definite meaning behind it here. so lycoris has a LOT of legends attached to it. it's generally attached to death/funerals/reincarnation. the flower appears mostly in Mika's scene at the beginning & end, as well as Orga looking out into the distance with the flower petals fanning around him. so, some legends!

(a) when its flower blooms, the leaves fall; when the leaves grow back, the flowers wilt. the corresponding legend is that the flower & the leaf are star-crossed lovers fated to never meet again. it's interesting that the blooming/wilting has been foreshadowed in the S2OP1 as well (the one where Mika leans down in the field, then Orga rises to his seat).

(b) legend/hanakotoba for lycoris states that lycoris will be seen blooming if two person who may never meet again (aka, death) meet (for the last time). so definitely death flags between orga & mika, as they both see the flowers bloom (though it's leaning towards orga being the one left behind by mika's death, given that orga's observing the flower whirlwind)

(c) lycoris' other hanakotoba is it being the flower blooming on the sanzu river, therefore helping guide the dead to the reincarnation. so both orga & mika dying is also plausible, and they'll be "reincarnated" (e.g. their wills will live on tekkadan, if the Baby Project succeeds, then both kudelia and atra will get pregnant, one will be baby orga, another baby mika, or something)

(d) or it could just be trolling because the spider lilies ARE pretty lol

• • • re: The Baby Project - can i just say how much of a dick move that is? i know it was a possibility since before the break, but hearing atra explain her idea explicitly, confirming all my worst fears, is just. wow. what the fuck.

(a) personally - i hate hearing that rationale of "have a baby to have a fulfilled life". i hear it all the time in my own life; i've heard it a lot of times with others. and i gotta tell you - it doesn't work. if the person already has other priorities in life / don't even care for babies, having a child added to their life isn't gonna solve whatever problem they have. which is basically what atra wants - he wants mika to not continue pursuing his life and be fulfilled instead by raising a family.

(b) the ENTIRE TIME they were discussing it - they have NOT, for one second, thought about what MIKA HIMSELF wanted. it's all about what they think is correct, what they want. true, mika's on the self-destructive path - but it's for a reason. it's his decision, his resolve. he doesn't even want girls (see s1e1, for the often-forgotten line of mika not caring for women - said way earlier than orga's line). he doesn't even want to live outside of orga's orders (see, every episode ever). he wants to farm, but given that he knows the state of his body, he doesn't even want that anymore. he thinks babies are like ham. he doesn't want to live in peacetime. this is not a guy who wants to live a happy ever after w/babies involved.

(b.1) AND EVEN IF, atra/kudelia manages to get pregnant - what then? obvious choice would be mika will continue to fight. if he dies (which is foreshadowed to hell and back), what will happen to the baby? to atra? to kudelia? they'll be single moms. baby will not know their father. if he lives - he'll still be crippled. and i'm not saying crippled people can't be parents - but he's gotta be connected to barbatos to move properly. he can't fully help/support in raising the kid. IF mika has a change of heart and discovers that BABIES!!!, then what? who the fuck would fight all the enemies tekkadan made? they'll fucking lose everything and they'd all be dead/not have livelihood.

(b.2) again. they DON'T EVEN DISCUSS WHAT MIKA WANTS. and this is my main beef with atra (&kudelia, to a lesser extent). atra is mika's supposed childhood friend. orga and mika met each other first, but orga/mika met atra fairly early too. the three of them have lived/survived/interacted with each other since they were young. atra... should know that mika listens to orga. everyone in tekkadan knows it. even merribit, who has only joined them for a few months, knows it. even hush, the newest recruit knows it. atra, who's known them the longest... SHOULD know it. and she knows orga. why couldn't she talk to orga if she feels mika's being too headstrong? if she has to go around mika anyway, why not talk to orga first??????????????????? (it's a lesser extent to kudelia because she hasn't known them that long and she might have reservations talking to orga, as their relationship is more business compared to atra/orga, BUT STILL.) everyone fucking knows that to get mika to listen, orga just has to say the words.

(b.2.5) they don't know orga's concerns about pushing mika (as those are between orga/naze, orga/biscuit, orga/mika, to a lesser extent, orga/merribit & orga/old man (lol)) are they... worried that orga will not listen? doubtful, as orga's always shown himself to be The Good Boss. are they... worried that it will not work because mika will not listen? because news flash, if mika doesn't listen, it's because he doesn't want it. therefore if they push through the baby plan / or do whatever to prevent mika from fighting ----- they're forcing mika to do something he doesn't wanttttttttt

(b.3) i've seen some support The Baby Project because atra's idea of a mika harem was inspired by naze's....... and just no. atra has completely missed the point of naze's harem if she wants to tie mika down. as the latest episode confirms (RIP), naze's harem isn't a standard harem in which they're all tied to naze - instead, they're women who naze invites to attach to himself as they're lost/at their lowest points/still finding their way, and they're welcome (i would say encouraged, really) to "leave" their attachment to naze once they're steadier, more secure in their life/life choices. it's the exact opposite of tying someone down and forcing naze (mika, if we go for the comparison) to be the pillar who can never leave. the women in naze's harem aren't chains holding him down. naze isn't a pillar holding them to one place. turbines stay together because they want to - and they know that they can leave if they want to.

(b.3.5) it's not as heavy-handed, but the latest episode also shows a different turbines parallel - naze/amida/turbines vs orga/mika/tekkadan.

- naze/amida met way before turbines (orga/mika met before tekkadan/cgs) - naze (orga) is more of the silver-tongue, businessman who hires/recruits someone (amida/mika) who's more into battles, but doesn't physically look it (i know, women and kids can be strong too, but amida/lafter/azee had a lot of lines before saying about how women/kids don't look like they should be in battle, but look at them now, that sort of thing, so it's an accepted way of thinking in ibo-verse) - naze/orga about accepting the physical "flaws"/marks left behind by fighting on amida (scars)/mika (paralysis) - naze/amida being the "parents" of the group they're in, a group that allows people from all ~walks of life join, but allow them to live whenever they need to (e.g. TAKAKI.) - naze/amida otp, so... orga/mika otp too lol

ANYWAY. good god, i can write a few more about this, but just. the entire concept is so WTF ATRA NO

• • • re: vidar's "i want to understand mcgillis' motives": NOOOOOOOOOOOOO lmao i had a mini heart attack when vidar used "shinyuu" to say "true intentions" re: mcgillis, because you know what else is a "shinyuu"?! that was used in a dialogue re: gaelio/mcgillis?! it's shinyuu = one true friend, the term mcgillis used to describe his relationship w/gaelio. and okada is very good about all these dialogue references all throughout so i'm confident that this was on purpose.

• • • re: Akihiro/Lafter: YES PLEASE

• • • re: the other plot points: so worried about mika's impending death, about azee & cute mechanic girl (they're not in the op), vidar (bec he's along the dead people banner in the op), teiwaz get your shit together, etc

phew that was a lot lol

[meowsaidmayaanime]

Summer Simulcasts of 2016

Oh man there are so many anime this season that I can't wait to see more of!! I'm super excited!

Cheer Boys!!

I JUST watched the first episode and i'm already really into it. It's about two University boys who quite Judo Club to start an all-men's cheer leading team. I'm starting to get really into sports anime. I hope this one will be lots of fun!

Final Thoughts: This ended nicely, the focus was much more on the team dynamic and relationships than it was on the sport though. For a sports anime, we saw very little of the actual performances, which was disappointing since I love watching the animation for the cheer routines. But otherwise its a good story about college kids finding and developing themselves through cheerleading.

D.Gray Man : Hallow

I cannot express how excited I am for season 5. I LOVE this anime, and after 8 whole years we are finally getting new episodes!!! I just watched the first episode of Hallow and wow everything looks amazing. I'm just worried because now the anime is moving closer and closer to where the manga left off. I wonder if the animators will need to finish with a non-canonical ending considering the woman who writes the manga has not been releasing new chapters...

Final Thoughts: Wow, this season really caught up on a LOT of content from the manga, all the way up to when Allen visits the family who cared for him as a child. There is definitely going to be more considering they didn't make up any endings or new content, the only question is when??????? Definitely worth the watch if you a D.Gray Man fan.

The Morose Mononokean

Watched the first episode and so far this looks like it'll be pretty fun. It's and exorcist anime and we all know how I tend to love my exorcist anime!!

Final Thoughts: I was sadly disappointed in how the series decided to end. It's really sweet, but I think it was just too sweet for me. The content was too light, as in it felt like it was oriented more for a younger/child audience rather than a teenage one like the cast. I'm not sure if there will ever be a second season considering how many loose ends are left. I can't in good faith recommend this, it wasn't bad, it just isn't suited for older audiences.

Bananya

This is ridiculously adorable. A series of 3 minute episodes showing the lives of cats who live....in bananas! Judging by the narration, I think its target are young children. Which isn't a bad thing, it just means that they wont get too in depth about the plot.

The Highschool Life of a Fudanshi

I found another really short anime at only 3 minutes per episode, but I wish it was a 10 minute episode instead. They could do a lot more with this anime.

It basically follows the daily life of a highschool boy who is really into reading gay manga. Its super cute and funny, at 3 minutes per episode you should totally give this a shot.

Sweetness and Lightning

This is a show about a single father, Kohei, who happens to meet one of his students, Kotori, from the highschool he teaches at while viewing the cherry blossoms with his young daughter. He learns that his students mother owns a restaurant and that Kotori, like him, cannot cook. From their after visiting the restaurant, Kohei promises his daughter that he will learn to make good home made meals from now on, and Kotori asks to help learn with him. I just watched the first episode and damn is this show heart warming.

Final thoughts: This show was great, 12 episodes of the heartwarming tale of a single father trying to cook for his daughter. Throughout the series we watch the father and one of his students learn the basics of cooking, giving the audience real life cooking tips and recipes. Each recipe they follow is shown step by step, and many tips for cooking are given as well. Occasionally we are shown the recipe's themselves allowing us the audience to cook the same food if we wanted to.

But underneath all the beginner cooking, the show is really about trying to connect with each other as a family. It's about the struggles we face when trying to communicate and understand our parents and children, not only between a single father and his daughter, but also between a daughter and a mother who is constantly working and constantly away.

All in all, its an incredibly sweet 'natural' slice of life. I do wish that the ending had been more well defined, but because all the episodes could be stand alone, I don't think any other way of ending it would have worked well.  If your into cooking, heartwarming, tales of growth, slice of life, you will very much enjoy this one.

Days

Another sports anime this season! About a high school boy who wants to join the soccer team but is a complete beginner. Ahhhhh this one looks so good!

Continued thoughts: Days will actually be a 24 episode anime, meaning that it will continue into the fall simulcasts. However, halfway through the series it is amazing. I love this sports anime, and would very much recommend it to anyone, even people who aren't into soccer. I will give my final thoughts later when the series has ended.

Re:ZERO -Starting Life in Another World

A very good anime, main character Subaru suddenly finds himself mysteriously transported to another world, finds himself in a few sticky situations, and manages to make new friends in the process. While trying to help the girl who saved him find her stolen insignia we learn a little more about the world we and Subaru were so rudely dropped into, and about a mysterious power that surrounds Subaru’s sudden summoning to the new world.

So far it is incredibly good, the main character is really likable and you get to watch him start to change as a person as well and many different sides to the other characters around him. I won’t say too much as I believe it would be spoiling a little bit of the anime, but it is definitely one you should give a shot.

This anime will be extending into the summer simulcasts as a full 25 episode season rather than the typical 12 episodes. So I will reserve the rest of my judgment in my Summer Simulcast list when it has finished!

Bungo Stray Dogs

This show is great. It has magical abilities, detective work, mafia, and LOTS of dark comedy. I love it! Its like a vague mix of Sherlock and Charlotte, but at times darker. The season is extending into the summer being released as a full season of episodes rather than those dumb 12 episode half seasons. So with that said, I will finish my opinion when it has ended. But for now, I highly recommend watching it!!!

Twin Star Exorcists

This anime is just weird. I have a soft spot for exorcist shows but this one is sort of all over the place. It is extending into the summer simulcasts with a full season. It starts out as being about two young exorcists in training who are revealed as the ‘twin star exorcists’. A legendary pair of exorcists who are destined to bring a miko into the world who will defeat the ‘demons’ they fight. It very quickly became a fighting, exorcist, drama, romance, action anime, which is a weird combination of genres. I’m not sure how I feel about this anime either. I supposed I’m rather ‘in the middle’ with this one, it’s not good, it’s not bad, but I want to keep watching it. It’s still amusing, just so far not something I would openly recommend to anyone… I’ll give my final opinion after its finished airing.

addendum: I have dropped this anime. I'm not sure if I will ever finish it or not, but for now I am no longer watching it, you can read more about why I dropped it here.

Re:Life

Would HIGHLY recommend. It was released IN FULL, that is all 13 episodes were released all at once. Needless to say, I've already watched the entirety of it!

And Holy crap this anime turned out vastly better than I ever expected it to. The premise is that 27 year old Kaizaki Arata is unable to get a job after he quite his first job after only 3 months of employment. Now he has become slightly recluse and very much dispirited from being constantly turned away at interviews because of this and is unable to support himself. Until an agent at this company developing the technology to make a persons appearance young again with the offer of paying for Kaizaki’s living expenses for one year while he goes back to high school using the drug in order to turn him into a productive member of society. After reading that I was intrigued but also expecting a total ‘boob-fest’. Instead the show turned out to be very real, down to earth and focuses on many social issues and the development of relationships from classmates, to coworkers, to friends, to even (a little) romance. It’s absolutely fascinating and doesn’t have the stereotypical characteristics of a high school anime. The characters are wholesome and well rounded, following their journey of self discovery and growth.

This series is also the first series on Crunchyroll to be fully released all at once. So while it is technically a 2016 summer anime, the full 13 episodes were released July 1st. Which I think is really cool. I’m sure there will be another season considering this season (from what I heard) only barely scratched the tip of the manga. It did not reach the end of the ‘1 year as a high school student’ instead this season covers only half of the school year. But despite that, the ending of the season was not rushed and came to a wonderful (temporary) close. Because it was JUST released, no one quite knows when the second season will be released or if Re:Life was confirmed for one, but hopefully we will get to see more soon.

This is an anime I would definitely recommend anyone give a chance. Simply because it is very well done. If you like character development/self-discovery, school or slice of life anime, you will love this one. It is not fast paced and does not have fan service (i’m glad), so don’t go into this expecting any of that!

10/10 would watch again. Here’s the trailer.