#i just cant deal with him
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GETO SUGURU.
#i spent the whole hour trying to resist this man but i just couldn’t#i liked him in the manga before he defected but the anime did him so…#AHCK#LOOK AT HIM (moments before disaster)#THE WAY HIS GAZE SOFTENED WHEN RIKO CONFESSED THAT SHE WANTED TO STAY WITH EVERYONE A LITTLE LONGER#HOW SHE WASNT READY FOR ASSIMILATION#JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE#RIKO MOVE THATS MY MAN#i just cant deal with him#he was such…a nice guy#if i knew him irl i’d have a massive crush on him ngl#additionally throughout the show he was always so concerned for satoru#expressing his concern when satoru has been using his technique nonstop whilst guarding amanai#and when haibara asks what treats should he bring home and he answers sweets bc it’s what satoru likes im having a breakdown#he’s so boyfriend#i love him so much it hurts to see how the tiredness in his eyes took over after what happened FUCK YOU TOJI FUSHIGURO#logically i’m not blaming anyone other than toji for what happened but some petty side of me wants to stir fry the shit out of gojo satoru#bc how the fuck did you not notice that geto was slowly losing and YOU CALL YOURSELF A BESTFRIEND YOU B—#im kidding ok might’ve been geto too bc he wasn’t open abt it#also damn yuki for that peptalk bc my poor mentally ill man wasn’t registering shit right#his slow spiral into insanity is one of the best written antagonizations i have ever read/seen and it will forever break my heart#jjk#toff.txt#🎬;jjk
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Concept: Peter actually got bitten by a totally normal spider. It's just a coincidence that his mutant powers were awakened around the same time
#peter: 'i got bitten by a radioactive spider'#the xmen: '.....what the FUCK are you talking about'#my posts#marvel#spiderman#xmen#he gets targeted by sentinels and is just ?? very confused ???#i also cant stop thinking about how everyone else not in the know definitely thinks spiderman is a mutant too#it really explains why he gets so much hate#its not just because ppl hate vigilantes- its anti mutant sentiment#ALSO they make a big deal of him not letting anyone know hes got powers bc theyll figure out his identity#when really theyd first just assume he was a mutant#which could ruin his life in a very different way
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While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.
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Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.
the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)
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Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:
Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?
Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:
Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???
Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?
Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!
Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now
Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that
Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?
[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]
Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.
Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)
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And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.
#jason: are you sure your boss wont be mad?#jeremy: he's only mad like 50% of the time im sure we'll be fine#jeremy: also we hate working for him.#jason todd absolutely treats his employees well u cant convince me otherwise#dick after the mission: the HELL was that??#jason fondly: just my goon children. im so proud of them for moving onto weapons trade instead of drug dealing :)#dick: that man was older than you. pretty sure most of them were older than BRUCE#jason: dont disrespect my family like that.#dick: Jason IM your family. i was literally held at knifepoint during your little reunion and you did NOTHING#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#batfam#batfamily#batkids#batbros#dc comics#incorrect quotes#headcanon#crack#fanatical posting
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Part 2 of my modern avatar au, The Gaang (part 1)
#avatar aang#atla katara#atla toph#atla sokka#atla suki#atla#avatar the last airbender#modern avatar#atla modern au#my art#atla fanart#kataang#CAUSE THEY ARE IMPORTANT IN THIS AU#lots of inner debates on how to deal with aang's tattoos and if to make him say an actual buddhist#decided that he and monk gyatso (plus a handful of others) are/were part of a largely dying religion of a nomadic group#from the himalayan/tibetan plateau region that's a mix of buddhism hinduism and other religions (plus air nomad culture)#due to the politics of region aang and gyatso traveled around the world which is how he met katara and sokka#who were on a fieldtrip in the south (of canada)#they live in the Qikiqtaaluk Region originally in a smaller northern town but to continue their schooling they moved to iqaluit#Toph is from China and she met the gaang during the first big trip sokka katara and aang took together (at aangs begging)#meet her the summer before katara's first semester of college (so she was 18 aang 16 sokka 19 toph 16)#also by 16 aang is his own guardian cause of gyatso's death so he just does whatever p much#suki from okinawa and they meet briefly another summer of college when traveling to a bunch of islands in the pacific#suki specializes in and teaches ryukyuan martial arts (she's ryukyuan)#all reunite after sokka and katara's graduation (katara graduates a year early) during aang sokka and kataras celebration world tour#where they come into full actual contact with the fire nation crew#they are all in their twenties in these expect for monk aang who is a teen#hehe i cant wait to make more for this auuuu
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Obsessed with his brain
#read a fic where he had to eat someone in the basement to survive and I am... obsessed#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#dale dimmadome#fop dale#idk ask to tag#art#digital art#fanart#blood tw#cannibalism tw#ed tw#In my mind his relationship with Dev is crazy. Because he wants to love Dev so badly but he is just. incapable of it.#and it makes him hate himself#On some level he thought seeing Dev would fix him. That he would feel all those things a dad is instinctively supposed to#and it would prove he wasn't broken. That deep down hes still human. that he's still capable of love just like everyone else#.And then he didnt. and he had no idea how to deal with it#In a way hes kind of scared of Dev. Dev makes him feel so uncomfortable with himself. so he just kind of avoids him.#Which um. thats your son sir you cant do that.#I love dale but he should absolutely not be a father. He is just not built for it
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Please stay gorgeous and strong and unbelievable. I miss you I miss you I miss you I love you. I’m calling you as soon as I send this, but I know you like to have these things written down. A ✿ / ❀
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#alex x henry#firstprince#userninz#userveronika#chrissiewatts#usernuria#usersteen#userclara#usermegsb#usermaloune#mine*#been wanting to make a full one of these since the movie came out so now... the full (incomplete) list!!#something about this email thread just makes me want to stand in a dark room and scream#the realisation alex has about henry offering alex an out and that it actually Was a big deal to him to say that#if no ones loving me like this then keep it i dont want it#'i know you like to have these things written down' and then it gets leaked 😔😔😔#alex saying that he cant match henry for prose but coming up with this list anyway#bc henry doesnt need all of the fancy words in the same way he just needs alex. and HIS words. and how he expresses his love in his own way#mhmm.
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my sister texted me smthing going on at home thats making me sad but im trying not to think about it and stay whimsical. its fursona friday..... its fursona feidayyyy...
#not unexpected just like. transphobia. u know the deal#her bf came to visit and my family wont call me my name which is what he knows me by#so now she has to like explain to him that im trans....#she was trying to be respectful and let me do it if i felt the need to#but basically texted me distraught like 'im so sorry i dont know why they cant just be respectful to you its not fair'#i love my sisters i wish that none of us had to go through this anymore#her bfs chill too like he knew me as 'allies gay older brother' (#(close enough) so i dont think this will b an issue for him Or them ots just like. Man.
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Bucky Barnes // The Winter Soldier Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)
appreciation post for bucky's hair in catws
#dailymarvelgifs#dailymarveledits#buckybarnesedit#ca:tws#the winter soldier#bucky barnes#sebastian stan#sebastianstanedit#my gifs#catws#his hair in catws is sooo good and his hair in cacw is soooo bad <3333#like its a different length texture and style throughout all of cacw idk what happened man#but in catws.......................................................... Hello.#it also looks good AND terrible in the thunderbolts trailer. who is responsible for this#why cant we get this right#this is why they had him cut in in tfatws they were like thank god now we dont have to deal with it#no shade to the costume people or hair/makeup folks im sure its tough and was at some points out of their hands#im just saying. come on#also hes so Greasy in cacw its actually kind of cute#babygirl has not been shampooing <33#he went without steve for a couple years and completely stopped taking care of himself#i know his ass is using three in one body wash/shampoo/conditioner#i know hes unmoisturized#anyways. love of my life sweet baby boy little meow meow angel etc.
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i Can fix you (good ending)
#second spring plush arrived#worse than the first. the eyes were glued on!! wha??#but i made him friendly looking#my phone cant deal with the olive color it just makes him more brown i guess. anyway#i like this ones nose better though and hes overall less wrinkly than the beady eyed one#springtrap#fnaf
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i have this fic series i'm still working on where mihawk sort of becomes rayleigh's kid and spends ages 11-17ish on the oro jackson.
shanks and buggy imprint on him (bugs considers him a sort of older brother figure/sparring inspiration and shanks has a crush that eventually turns into full-blown love) and this is how i imagine they're like on the day mihawk sets off on his own haha.
#fic recs#dracule mihawk#akataka#mishanks#buggy#buggy the clown#shanks#akagami no shanks#red haired shanks#one piece#one piece fanart#op fanart#clearly my workaround to 'i should be working on my deadlines instead of doodling mishanks' is to finger-draw on my phone instead#on the plus side i'll never be tempted to go and fully render what was supposed to be a sketch#on the minus side i'm wondering if drawing with my finger takes up the same amount of time anyways.........#smh#anyways in this au i have this part planned where after shankd and buggy get into a fight over the chop chop#shanks comes crying to mihawk all devastated and annoyed and mihawk who is 16 and absolutely doesnt want to deal with a crying 12 year old#decides to fix things himself by showing buggy the pros of his devil fruit via forceful and incredibly harrowing sparring session LOL.#makes him see right away how much of a boon it is to never be able to get cut by a blade. it turns into an actually fun sesh#'cuz mihawk starts enjoying the challenge and the creativity and control and buggy starts wielding his knives in flying hands.#ends with mihawk berating him on how he treats his brother and how mihawk never wants to have to deal with shanks like that again#and also lowkey encouraging buggy by saying he's a resourceful kid and he's got people if he cant do things himself.#at this point in time shanks kind of wants mihawk to be his knight in shining armour so he's happy to hear what mihawk did#but mihawk is Fully Over bunking with two 12 year olds. ray please can he just set out on his own now. he's done it before. come on.#he is not a babysitter!!!!!!#tho these fics will focus mostly on hawk & ray jsyk#i digress
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What happened to you? [...] None of your business.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 10
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#userrain#userspicy#uservid#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#i made myself insane about the caption bc it could be applied to both of them <3#chen yi what happened how did you get injured? and hes like 'its not a big deal whatever'#ai di what happened why do you strangle me when i get close to you now? and he's like#WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHERBOY (angst edition)#anyway the actual point of this set was the way ai di is sleeping and the way chen yi is looking at him so thats cool#its just....really soft and sweet#i caNT IMAGINE what chen yi thinks or feels finding ai di holding his jacket in his sleep.......like. ahghdfkdkjfdksj#ive giffed this before and will probably gif it again#lbr i've giffed every scene so many times bc they have so few scenes and i am getting EVERYTHING I CAN OUT OF THEM#WHICH IS A LOT!!! they're everything to me
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Beast peak's disciple Shen Yuan? Yeah 😌
#svsss#umboos art#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#I have a super headache right now#so i'll write more about this idea later#BUT#his shizun cant deal with him#he is chaotic#a menace#all peak lords know him#he tried to break into all the available cqm libraries#his wife beam works so well almost all cqm wants him#but in the end he is just a nerd with a special interest#he told his shizun that if he tried to make him successor he'd run from cqm to live as a wandering cultivator#he likes to steal the beasts and take them to a walk every now and then#he also wants to have them as pets but his shizun will kill him if he find out#he lost 2 fingers interacting with a random beast ofc#and the best part? they became friends#umboosfancontent#OH YEAH he has a qiankun pouch full of glasses because he breaks them almost everyday :')#boosbeastpeaksy
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Bard-aby <3 except he's only loosely a bard bc i don't subscribe to absolutes <3
rambles:
BARNABY WITH PANTS??? BLASPHEMY!!! however this is a (dnd-inspired) fantasy au so. pants! loose pants tucked into modified boots because no one can tell me No!
based off of Clown's pokemon au human Barn, it seems like he might be a bit of a jewelry guy! he was wearing rings! and had an earring! also i think Barn just looks great w/ some extra shinies, yk yk
since ties aren't really a Thing in fantasy settings, i combined the iconic pattern w/ his vest for a two-in-one. then suspenders bc they fuck severely! his belt buckle is a bone both as a nod to the pattern on his tie / house decoration, and to go along with how Wally has an apple buckle! besties stay twinning!
you can't see it but on his other side he has his pack & his smoking pipe holster, which attaches to his belt! it's very high quality leather that he spent so much money on. his pipe is important to him - he carved it himself out of wood from an important tree from his childhood, so he wants it to be properly stored & protected! he has two kinds of tobacco for it - normal, and magic tobacco that essentially allows him to cast minor spells w/ the smoke
the feathers on his hat are from Ms. Beagle! in my mind he left the farm to go adventuring on a bit of a bad note, but his mama made sure to give him a couple feathers to take with so that she'd always be close <3
he keeps his claws blunt so that he doesn't accidentally scratch people/things, and so that he can play stringed instruments without cutting the strings. while i imagine for this au he plays a wide range, he prefers Loud Handheld Instruments that allow him to sing along. so in mind he has an Accordion here! loud! jaunty! but i imagine he also keeps a recorder in his pack for when Frank needs annoying. (he did have a lute, but he broke it over someone's head in the act of defending Wally's honor)
im still trying to pin down the right balance of colors for his outfit, but! for a little au tidbit - all of his spots are the same two blues as his ears. in this im imagining that he, at a young age, learned a very basic cosmetic spell that allowed him to change his spots color to mimic Ms. Beagle's! he wanted to look like his mama! but by the time he's in his late 20s he no longer changes his spots
ohhhh i forgot to add his pockets. Oh Well
#i wanted him to look um.... Put Together?#barn strikes me as a character that likes to look a lil sophisticated in a way!#and i wanted that to come across in this fit... dont know if i succeeded#i still wanted to have Bard-ish / Barnaby Vibes#i can easily imagine him reclined by a tree absentmindedly playin his accordion... smokin... in this outfit hat tipped down over his eyes#barnaby my beloved <3#and bardaby my beloved <3#also ill admit!!!#that lute is traced from a real image lmfao there was no way in hell i was scribbling that thing from scratch#scribble salad#wh fantasy au#i lowkey feel bad for barnaby when he finds out about the whole warlock thing#bc hes been traveling with wally for Years#barnaby likes to think that he knows everything about his little buddy#and then wally has to be like 😬#yeah im actually not technically a real person#also there's this 'demon' i have a pact with & also a weird kinda non-platonic Cant Be Accurately Labeled intimate relationship with#oh and i sometimes sacrifice innocent people to it in a pinch. the rest of the time we eat enemies' souls#and barnaby just has to! deal with that! like oh great! his bestie has been lying to his face since they met!#ands its been Seamless Lying!#suffice to say barnaby has a crisis#and now since wally can be more open about home#there's a sort of... pointless Rivalry for wally's attention/affection#even though barnaby definitely misjudges the situation and how home feels about wally...#oh switching gears back to the instrument thing!#in my mind barnaby also knows how to play the harp really well#and howdy's tavern has a corner for live music - which includes a permanently placed harp <3#so i think on quiet days barnaby will go play the harp while howdy cleans glasses & the others do their own quiet things#maybe its raining outside! or Snowing! but the tavern is cozy and warm & there is beautiful music <3
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(check the tags for more and also the tag for other fics in the story!)
athena, scowling as she gets bullied into marrying the people she pined over for the last 1000 years, suddenly realising something: wait a minute
odysseus: what?
athena, frozen: wait a damn minute you know what this gives me rights to do
penelope, also realising: oh fuck yes
odysseus: I don't like the sound of whatever's happening here what are you two fucking talking about?
athena, grabbing the marriage wine and tossing it back, then kissing her new wife and husband and handing penelope a spear as she picks up a mace: we'll be back shortly, you can start celebrations without us.
penelope: do u have anything that can start a fire
athena, pulling out an old contract and scanning it before throwing it over her shoulder: yes. are you scared of heights or can we fly.
penelope: fucking bring it I've waited years for this moment
zeus: where are they going
hermes, picking up the contract: they're going to... Ogygia? Oh fucking shit they're going to fucking kill Calypso- hey, hello, WAIT-
#odysseus disappears midway because athena plants one on him so hard his soul evaporates#(strategic to make him stop from coming after them and also from passion she forgot to hold back for once)#(and also shes maybe possibly in love and cant wait to get vengeance on Calypsos bitch ass who hurt him so much for so long)#penelope has had to deal with calypos afteraffects for literally the rest of their lives. from flashbacks to odysseus inconsolably crying#at her feet for forgiveness some days even though shes always said frim the first moment that it wasnt his fault#the rest of the gods have to chase them down to prevent them from eternally torturing calypso (goddesses cant die <3)#athenas blazing mad and sick with guilt and horror. she couldn't attack before because it would be seen as an attack from olympus#but as a wife! as two wifes! no political implications there no holds barred calypso gets her ass BEAT#but also pls imagine them chasing her and gods chasing them round and round the island while screaming#odysseus wavered like 17 times on whether to ask hermes for a lift there or not but goes in the end#their honeymoon in truth ends up being on ogygia#athena lovingly and seductively teaching penelope how to fillet a person both of them covered in ichor#odysseus with a hand over his mouth blushing grinning tears in eyes torn between turned on and terrified to be back and crying coz they lov#him that much.#((he goes to her just before they leave in the cave she used to drag him to. she can barely hold herself up and hes shaking to approach))#((but he's stronger now. settled and satisfied and content. he kneels by her and sets down bandages next to her.))#((i told you i was married he says. and because his truest weapon is his tongue- if youd just listened i wouldve found us both a way out))#she sobs and he leaves. the scars will never fade fully but he feels lighter as he steps out into the sun where athene and pen are waiting.#bloodsoaked and being shouted at by hera but smiling at him widely and gleefully as he approaches. takes a hand each and presses him btwn.#he squeezes back with a smile and leans into them. his beautiful horrifying wives#odypenath#odypenetha#odysseus#penelope#athena#odypen#odyath#penath#epic the musical#love in paradise
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I just wanted an excuse to draw my Galacta with a cape propaganda
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#kirby fanart#taranza#galacta knight#i think galacta would look cool with a dimensional cape#and it would be fluffy because of their fluffy wings#i know they're supposed to be an angel but common you cant take galacta bird away from me#im just a lil guy its my birthday#i originally made this for galacta's birthday but i slowed down when it was obvious i was not gonna finish it anywhere near that#taranza is a close friend of galacta knight in my mind and you just have to deal with it#galacta asks taranza where did he get the cape and he's like 'i got it from meta knight!!!'#galacta just looks at him unimpressed#and taranza then admits that he actually asked dedede to secretly ask meta knight and that's basically the same thing#meta knight still isnt used to galacta being not murderous so he won't help them if he can help it#meta knight has trust issues#i promised myself i wouldn't mention meta knight if i didnt draw him but im an unreliable narrator#i think dedede and galacta would get weirdly along#ok im gonna stop bye this is really self indulgent
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Making sense of love for love's sake: the game
Despite all the things i absolutely adore about how the plot unravels and expands in love by love's sake, upon first watch, there's some things i couldn't piece together, which @lurkingshan echoes in their post:
'The way the author was messing with Myungha and forcing cruel choices on him really does not track with a desire to help him find happiness.'
And to preface, this is not something i fully get yet either. I think i'll need a good month and a sizeable reading list of relevant resources to understand just what/who this author/sunbae is and what his role is and how he is associated with myungha. But as always with the best shows for meta (aka bad buddy), as a plot unfolds, you can always find a better understanding by looking backwards and re-contextualising what you've already seen. so i watched ep 1, specifically the scene between myungha and his sunbae at the bar. And i will talk about how everything said in this scene has a whole new meaning now we know the full story, but for now i wanna focus on that question that they keep coming back to; "Then... will you change it for him?".
When you watch the show for the first time, your brain follows the simplest, most obvious version of the story you're being told, one where myungha has been pulled into the world of his sunbae's novel that's being turned into a game and given the opportunity to fix the thing he didn't like about it; making yeowoon happy, and thus you just think the rules of the game are imposed by the author, and so when these cruel choices first come up, you see them as the difficult roadblocks that are nevertheless necessary to any kind of game, forcing the player to make an impossible choice so that the game can continue in a certain direction and its only after that you learn whether it was the right choice or not, or there is no right choice, it simply changes the game you are playing.
And when its revealed what this game actually is, at first i tried to interpret these cruel choices, namely the choice between yeonwoon and myungha's grandma, and at best i could come up with the concept of this being a choice between staying stuck to the past aka choosing his grandma, even though he knows that choice doesn't mean she's safe bc he knows the future where he loses here, its an inevitability, but thats the small happiness he knew before it was taken away and thus that happiness is known and safe, theres no risk, versus choosing to pursue a new happiness, a love of yeowoon and thus himself, which he doesn't know, he hasn't experienced yet, and could be risky. Its a happiness that isn't guaranteed like his grandma, but its a happiness that looks to the future and has hope in it that he can find a new happiness to pursue despite what has happened in his past.
And that fits nice, okayish. But then i watched ep 1 and heard that question "Then... will you change it for him?" And watching through the rest of the eps, we come back to this scene at the bar and each time we get a new run up to the author asking this question, either new dialogue is added or we hear a different piece of the conversation entirely. It starts at the beginning of ep 1 as:
"Because Cha Yeowoon is the only one who's miserable." "It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile."
Then a bit later in ep 1 we go back and its expanded.
"It can't be helped that some people's lives are like that" "The fact that some people are destined to live that kind of life is what's vile." "Why? Do you think you'd write it differently?" "Yes, definately. Someone like Cha Yeowoon, or someone like me with an awful life, can also be happy."
And then all the way on in ep 6, we get this new dialogue.
"I don't like talking about destiny." "Why?" "Because it means everything is predestined." "Then do you not believe in fate?" "Fate and destiny are the same. My grandma likes to say that. She said life is like a written book, and how you'll live and die are written in it. (...)I don't like things like this. Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." "Really? Then Myungha..."
And while we don't hear the author ask the same question, I feel like him getting cut off like that insinuates that the conversation leads to that same ending point. All that is to say, every time we hear this question being asked, its like we learn more and more about what this whole thing is, what the game is, what myungha is saying he will do by agreeing to do what the author asks. And every time, we see myungha being more defiant against the idea of yeowoon being resigned to his miserable ending. He starts off thinking that kind of life is destined, and while it's miserable, its not something he can fight. Then he says he'd want to write the story differently, bc yeowoon, or even him, could be happy. He challenges the idea that yeowoon, and thus himself, is fated to be miserable, and opens up the possibility for happiness for them both, but doesn't yet have the means or resolve to do it, its like he knows its possible on a fundamental level, but doesn't see it as something he can actually achieve. But then we circle back to the idea of destiny and books, both of which came up in the previous quote, and seems incredibly pertinent seen as this whole thing is about a novel this author has written. Myungha talks about how he hates the idea that life is a book where everything written is predestined to happen, from the moment you live to the moment you die. He says "Even if fate is already destined, I think it can still be changed. Otherwise, there's no point in trying." That vile way of life he described before that he said was destined, he is now saying it can be changed, and that possibility is now something he's holding onto, its what he sees hope in so that he can keep trying, bc now he finally is trying, he has the resolve, he's trying to realise this thing, this impossibility of rewriting the life he thought was destined through the way he loves yeowoon.
And coming back to those cruel choices, given this fresh context, it made me think. bc this isn't actually a game that myungha has been put into where the rules are dictated by an author completely separate from him. He said himself, he'd rewrite it, he'd change things for yeowoon. And when you start to think of it less as him fighting against a rigid, removed system and more like him being a character in a story he is trying to rewrite himself, that has both the author and his own limitations, or just his own if you're in the school of thought that the author is some figment or part of myungha himself or his conciousness, then you can start to see where these cruel choices might come from. They could be myungha, the author making edits to this new story, imposing his own doubts and limitations on himself. When he says he has to pick between Yeowoon and his grandma, what if that's the new author myungha seeing this story unfold and thinking no this isn't right, he can't have it all, i'm not deserving of this much happiness.
And what makes me like this idea even more is that when we get that second choice between ending after 14 days or getting 100 days back at the cost of resetting Yeowoon's affection to 0, that whole conversation happens in what I think the bar actually is which is this frozen moment in time where myungha is in the water with this extension of a voice in his head that is talking through these things. That conversation in itself needs its own post, but when you look at it both as a decision to break up or not or a decision to hold onto life or not, you can see how the author is just this soundboard relaying the decisions myungha is going through in his head. The author's voice is his own, weighing up his decisions. And if he is the author here, it only reinforces that the person making the rules of this game is him. You can even extend it further to the idea of the debuffs, where he puts in place this thing that makes it so he causes harm to yeowoon when he's around, and its only by garnering affection that he can prevent it. He gives himself a reason from the get go to stay away from yeowoon and reason it as him doing it for yeowoon's safety, when in fact the only way to make yeowoon safe is to increase his affection, which he can only do by being near him. Its a system that at first gives myungha a reason to stay away aka not like himself, but ultimately says the only way you're going to make yeowoon like you, or the only way you can like yourself, is if you accept risk. And that in itself screams to me of a myungha writing in these game systems that are trying to encourage his own-self love while falling at the hurdle of his own lack of self-worth.
The idea is still messy in my head even for me, but i just really like the idea that myungha could be trying to fix this thing both as a character and game master, and that both these versions of him have these flaws that manifest in their different ways to cause the events we see. It kinda is the definition of being your own worst enemy, the idea that in order to work towards loving yourself, the biggest obstacle you have to encounter is yourself, bc we are the ones holding ourselves back, making all these rules that make it harder to like ourselves and pursue our own happiness. The voices in our head telling us that we aren't good enough and aren't deserving are our own, and while the things that happen to us can inform what they say, we're the one's reinforcing those words. And what this show teaches us is that, if we're the one holding that pen all along, we can choose to change what those words are. If we make the rules, you don't have to create a game with concrete ultimatums, you can create a game where rules don't control you. Instead, you make the decisions, and you can make the ones that make you happy.
#wow look at me writing actual kinda thought out meta#also something something about how the pen being in his pocket wasnt a pen given to him by the author its a pen that was his the whole time#look even if this isnt the right interpretation as intended by the author i just kinda adore this headcanon ive come up with and i cant wai#to rewatch the show again through this lens and see if it holds up#i just adore the idea of this whole thing being this manifestation of a flawed doubtful person trying to navigate through their own messy#nonsensical thoughts to find their own happiness#bc yes thats what triggered me thinking of this whole thing. me seeing that post and thinking yeah that doesnt make sense7#but then again when you tell yourself things an put your own mental blocks in the way they dont make sense either but you still have to fin#the ways to work around them in order to find happiness#like those things dont go away we just find the loopholes or the ways to overcome them that mean we can be happy#the game is your own mind - deal with your own existential crisis as you wish#anyway this is only part 1 in what i hope will be a very extensive meta analysis of this show - stay tuned#love for love's sake
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