#i have 0 friends and this is why
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im so cringe
#beavis and butthead#beavis x butthead#beavhead#art#old beavis#old butthead#beavis and butthead fanart#my art#im losing my mind#my artstyle changes each post im dead serious#i cant draw old ppl im so sorry yall#someone needs to put me down#i have 0 friends and this is why#im trying my best#happy pride month btw 🌈
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*changed my age to 22*
#they call me 007 cuz I have 0 friend 0 family and 7 slices of leftover cake#why do I have to go through this every year
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When i say i like the dilf + twink dynamic, i DON'T mean radioapple
#And lucifer isn't even a dilf#He's a twink with tumblr sexyman traits!#anti vivziepop#anti hazbin hotel#hazbin critical#hazbin hotel critical#I don't get why people ship radioapple#I guess they wanted to pair lucifer with someone that wasn't lillith#Some of my friends ship radioapple and i have to pretend i don't mind when in reality#It's torture#0 disrespect to my friends tho#Anti radioapple
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hello Yu-Gi-Oh fandom
#hiiii im late to the party but im loving it#my friend got me into the series and ive been watching it for the past two days#im almost finished w season zero so my interpretation of yuugi/yami come solely from the vibes im getting#they may change in the future as i keep watching but this is it for now#all i have to say is that yami is cool as hell and i love yuugi very much. hes so kind even if it is frustrating some times#and PLEASE can ppl stop hitting him??? 😭😭😭 why do they keep hurting and kidnapping him!!!!#yu gi oh#yugioh#yugioh season 0#yugioh season zero#yuugi mutou#yami yuugi#prachelley draws#yugioh fanart
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Raughhh I'm fine rn but frustrating to think that I haven't been able to like - just relax and enjoy things lately cause I'm too busy overthinking and having a constant anxiety attack ( exaggeration ) about nothing
#like can i pls just#live in the moment#broooo#its so augh#this is a vent but an unserious one#just pre-emptive cause i know ill probably be havung a meltdown tomorrow evening#i am prepared for it#in theory#likely i will forget all this and have 0 rational thoughts#abd if youre wondering why i will have one#its cause im playibg a game that i love with friends that i love#and FOR SOME REASON i have had a meltdown after every single session#genuinely dont know whats wrong with ne#but im learning how to Deal™#yay#anyway anxiety is exhausting so if you know someone with real bad anxiety you should hug them or snthn#but also explain why cause they might assume the worse#just saying#also this is queued cause im going to bed#NEVERMIND I FUCKING POSTRD IT ON ACCIDENT
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ik he's witty but i always forget just how easily fenris quips back and forth with almost everyone
#every time its like ah ok i remember now why liam got on with him so easily so quickly xd#(they also vibe with each other in general but i digress)#liam: silly one liner that he said before thinking and that probably sounds stupid - fen: plays along - liam: :0#friendship cancelled with bethany now fenris is my best friend (SEE bethy he APPRECIATES my jokes 😤)#laya plays dragon age#i always imagine that when fen does his silly 'perhaps i shall practice my flattery [...]' line liam goes out of that kind of perplexed lik#was that a flirt did he flirt with me???#(cus even if the dialogue that prompts it is marked as a romance option liam wouldnt have intended it as flirtatious)#and usually hed not pay it any further mind but he Does have vague interest in/curiosity about fen so hes overthinking lolol#oc: liam hawke#my ocs#<- once again for the tags xD
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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okay but Sirius who has a blind spot the size of Russia for Regulus. Like, guys it's not his fault if he's supporting Voldemort, it's our family's. It's not his fault if he's turning into a Death Eater, it's because of who he's hanging out with. It's not his fault if he's getting sucked into a blood purist cult, it's because he's too soft, too kind, too naive, too stupid to push back against what they've been taught. He's a good person at heart, Sirius swears, and makes excuses.
But also, Regulus having an equally Russia-sized blind spot for Sirius. It's not his fault if he's getting distant, it's because he's alone in Gryffindor without support. It's not his fault if he's questioning everything they know is true, it's because of his so-called friends. It's not his fault if he's becoming a blood traitor, it's because of the mudbloods and the half-breeds and the blood traitors and fucking Potter. Regulus arguing with his parents for the first time because they can't disown Sirius it's just letting them win and we can't let them keep Sirius.
Sirius distancing himself more and more from his family the more hateful Regulus gets (look at what they're doing to his brother!) and Regulus growing into more and more of a blood purist the more Sirius distance himself (they're stealing his brother, they need to get rid of them!).
And neither of them realizes it either.
#hp#rambles of my soul#tbh i do see them as being really close as kids#regulus getting upset when he can't go to hogwarts with sirius#and then getting angry and jealous when sirius comes back and he has (internal gag) friends#like he's he not enough? why would sirius need them when regulus is right there?#regulus never grew out of feeling replaced bc his brother got friends: the family drama#sirius is so annoyed bc he doesn't understand what's regulus' problem is#so he spends more time with his friends bc regulus is not fun to be around anymore :/#so they end up never getting close again bc too much resentment and 0 communication#although a regulus lives au where he has to confront the fact that he lost sirius bc of his own actions would be pretty funny#like uuuugh okay he can come to term that he was wrong about the blood purist thing sure fine no problem#but now he has to (UGH) play nice with his brother's friends to get something of a relationship with him back???#the horror he would have rather died actually#anyways#it's 4am i'm rambling everything's fine#regulus black#sirius black#hc
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Real pretentious for rusties to call themselves burgundy…you don’t see any other caste arguing about what they’re called :////
}:0|
#YKNOW YEAH YOU DO ACTUALLY }:0(#RUSTBLOODS A SLUR FOR US BRONZE AND BURGUNDIES }:0|#PEOPLE FORGET THAT }:0|#ALSO YOU DO SEE OTHER CASTES ARGUING ABOUT WHAT THEYRE CALLED }:07#LIKE CALLING INDIGOS OR CERULEANS BLUE }:0|#IVE SEEN A LOT OF DEBATE OVER WHICH ONE IS CALLED THE BLUE CASTE }:0|#EVEN THOUGH ITS A TITLE FOR BOTH }:0|#ITS ACTUALLY PRETTY MUCH THE SAME SITUATION AS BRONZE AND BURGUNDIES WITH ''RUST'' BLOOD }:0(#EXCEPT BLUE ISNT OFFENSIVE }:0(#IVE SEEN CERULEANS GET CULLED FOR CALLING THEMSELVES HIGHBLOODS THOUGH }:0|#LIKE NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM EXCEPT THAT }:0|#AS IF A MISCONCEPTION OR DIFFERENCE OF OPINION IS A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO SEVER THEIR FILIAL LINE }`:0(#EVEN THEN YOU HAVE THE OLD DEBATE ABOUT MUSTARD OR GOLD }:07#WHAT YOU JUST SAID IS LIKE SAYIN' “REAL PRETENTIOUS FOR THE P%%%BLOODS TO CALL THEMSELVES MUSTARDS” }:0|#IM SORRY BY THE WAY GOLD FRIENDS }:0(#BUT MY POINT IS LIKE THATS JUST A SLUR }:0|#THE SLUR IS A SLUR AND ITS GONNA PROBABLY STAY THAT WAY TILL IT GETS SO RECLAIMED PEOPLE FORGET IT USED TO BE A SLUR }:0|#AND BURGUNDIES HAVE THE SHORTEST LIVES OF US WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE MEAN TO THEM DURING IT }:07#YOU REALLY GOTTA STOP CALLIN THEM THAT BUDDY }:0|#IVE BEEN CALLED RUSTIE TONS OF TIMES AND I STILL DONT FEEL SUPER COMFORTABLE SAYING IT CAUSE I KNOW ITS MOSTLY A SLUR USED FOR MAROONS }:0[#LOWEST POINT ON THE HEMOSPECTRUM AND THE SHORTEST LIFE AND YOU GOTTA BE A BULGE TO THEM }:0?#THIS REALLY WAS ONE OF THE }:0[#SHIT TAKES }:0)
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im not that happy with this, made the lineart too thin cuz of the canvas size ig so i messed around and theres no fixing it now so
#dandys world#dandys world flutter#dw flutter#i have 0 thoughts on her#like shes friends with gigi thats all i got#her hitbox is also weird to play as so she's just not my vibe i keep getting hit whenever i try juking and ik its not a skill issue#cuz i can do it with goob pebble tisha etc why not her#anyways back to tagging#redesign#zinkysworld redesigns
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I’m 98% sure gotham is nowhere near close to Britain but I feel like Tim would still have a British accent
British accent is too vague im gonna say tim sounds like he's from Cornwall
#ask#anon#why cornish#bc i have beef with the cornish#a friend of my in uni was from cornwall#most annoying person#she thought that cornwall was on the same level as Ireland on the victims of the english scale#newsflash it aint#and my grans from cornwall#so far a 0/10 on people i personally know from cornwall#so tim can have a cornish accent#and act oppressed
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not to reblog that one jo post but i am special hihi
#also you cant have deep friendships without being hurt sometimes#bc you are still connecting to other people(not yourself)and you will care for each other and need each other differently at times#bc you still live different lives and those thing then affect you differently#and you just won't meet each others needs all of the time#and its that feeling of love and hurt but as long as that hurt isnt like caused on purpose#or on sheer lack of care for you as a person#i dont know#my best friendships were the ones that made me feel all the range of my emotions#and i never regret coming back to them#and that is also why i never regretted (okay lies there was this one time but still mostly) cutting them off if i felt the need#and i dont think they ever regretted coming back to me when i wasnt the perfect friend#(which btw i hate ya novels so much for this bc id see friendships and always be jealous of how good friends some people were#and how they always knew to say the right thing and how i would want to be that kind of friend even tho those were written planned people)#but anyways i was gloating this is my gloating post lol#0 notes to me#this is so silly also pls dont take my friendship experience too seriously like i am not a looking up to person haha
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🐰🕸🌙
#i have so many behaviours and fears and#no emotional regulation and issues and disorders and fearrrrr#and i do not know how to explain it so that ppl who dont relate can possibly understand it#but it is like i am trapped in a nightmare dimension where everything is always bad#my brain isnt even wired to see anything in a positive or hopeful light#which is how humans are wired typically to ensure survival lol#in swedish avpd is also called anxious personality disorder#which can clue in on the fact that if you know what a personality disorder is#(your brain hasnt developed normally but in a disordered way. often bc of trauma etc)#my brain is wired to be anxious abt wverything all the time#so i always naturally see everything in a negative and dark and bad and horrible light#which is fucking terrible. it makes life exhausting and like a constant fight#other ppl dont get that bc their brains arent wired to have this horrible outlook on EVERYTHING#so thid just gives me extreme trust issues and my brain always fights to make sense of things#bc it cannot do so in a rational manner#and basically i just feel so ashamed when i think of how like... overly emotional and fearful i am#as soon as anything happens im like wow this person literally wants to kill me bc humans are evil#which i know intellectually isnt tru bc if it was i'd be dead by now 💀#ig i just feel so lucky that one person still is my friend after almost 2yrs now#despite my whateverthefuck moments when idek what im saying..#'working thru my emotions' in a way that doesnt make sense#esp when hes seen some of what i've written and im like NOOO i was spiraling when i said that i dont mean that i think most likely i dont#anyway.. feeling grateful 🙏 i wish i was normal#or at least had th ability to have connections and relationships most ppl w mental illness are still capable of having#avpd is fucked upppp it is such a weird mental disability.... 0-o#bc of my fear i also struggle with relaxing into it bc im like no imma fuck it up soon or no hes gonna leave me soon bc i suck and dont#deserve having him in my life at all. i really wish my brain wasnt wired to be terrified like i hate my brain and myself like why cant#i just be normal!!!!!! ☹️ i am thankful for every moment still.
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Animal collection as a hobby, a perfect fit! (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Pokemon#ZEX#DAX#And a Machamp and Zoroark(?) even I'm not sure lol#It's difficult to pick Pokemon for ZEX because are there any he /wouldn't/ like? Hard to think of any honestly#Mostly just carried-over thoughts from my own Pokemon stuff haha#Friend Balls look like VUX!!! Green with the red inlays (and also orange)!!!#A VUX is shaped like a friend you heard it here first#Now that I think of it why Haven't I made a ZEX friend shape.....Huh#There is already that one doodle of ZEX with a Pokeball also giving it a ''?'' haha I just couldn't help myself <3#And a Portal Cube! ZEX gets all the video game swag#If I was still in an Institute mood (I am - deeply) there was also the fact that Xigbar got a Pokeball at one point#Never saw him use it :0 Wonder what that was all about! Sounds cool :)#Clearly still in an Institute mood considering the final lol#Small silly scribbly based on that one comic haha ♪#What's there to talk about O> They're beautiful and that's that#What Pokemon teams would they have! How could ZEX possibly pick just 6 haha#He has a whole menagerie for a Reason#He Would end up with widely-agreed upon ugly 'mon wouldn't he...........Conkeldurr.......#Machamp is so obvious haha that's just a man! With four strong arms to hold you <3#DAX does not approve of your shenanigans ZEX#When does he ever haha#What would his team be like I wonder hehe ♪ Something loyal and serious hmm#A Stoutland immediately comes to mind for some reason haha#What would most VUX consider cute! An ever-question for me haha
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~
#very random (not snz) haha but#does anyone else feel like their social battery fluctuates like. 0 to 100 with no middle ground or is this perhaps something wrong with me#i will go for weeks without having the social energy to talk to people i love and treasure 😭#maybe it's a lack of dopamine in general idk... would not be thrilled to add another mental illness to the list#but then i'll have a night where i am super talkative and happily reply to half the people i've been talking to#or times when i send off all my responses and sit at my laptop like when are my friends going to reply 🙂 i can't wait to talk to them 🙂#i apologize if you have personally been on the receiving end of my extreme inconsistency 😭#i have been thinking about it recently and i think that's in part the reason why i also gravitate towards long form conversations;#it feels mentally easier for me to deliver a meaningful response once in a blue moon than like sustain that level of#conversational depth on a more consistent basis? because i am inconsistent#but sometimes in the long wait between responses (which i have arguably played a large role in establishing) i feel unexpectedly social and#then feel strangely lonely 😭 (🤡)... truly i feel like i am lowkey a badly adjusted adult#this is not a catastrophizing post (though i did catastrophize slightly more over it in past weeks); just passive musings atp#i go through similar flows with artistic motivation but the highs and lows are not synced with my social energy at all#i think i am someone who likes to analyze my habits just as a whole because i really enjoy optimizing for things 😭 so this tendency in#particular really perplexes me#delete later perhaps because i know this is truly a yap post. (i apologize)#i met with a friend earlier irl and this might be the remnants of the social energy from seeing her or it might be a function of#the drink i had (strawberry matcha 🥰) if you have read this far i apologize personally
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like ive absolutely been aggressive because bipolar literally makes me unable to regulate my mood. ive both cried my eyes out over something that didnt matter and also shoved someone hard into a wall (i was in school) over something small because of my mood disorder. ive absolutely acted entitled because of my mood disorder and i to this day struggle with extremely entitled thoughts due to a delusion of grandeur in my life that if i openly talked about everyone would greatly dislike me because the thoughts are so painfully and severely Me Me Me Me all about Me. bipolar disorder is MOOD disorder that EFFECTS EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE so im sorry but if you want to be a better advocate you'll have to accept that the person with BD acting weird in public or who punched someone was under the effects of an episode and not try to disarm bipolar disorder to make it appetizing to the people who demonize us. because playing into the ''our disorder isnt bad were Good People Smile Emoji'' is what gets people who Dont act good during their episodes killed or jailed
#i dont trust anybody to speak for me if they want to ignore that there is always a slight chance that i can harm them#because guess what people everyone around you is at a baseline chance of harming you#your partner who loves you so much isnt at 0% chance of harming you. they are at all times at a chance of harming you#your parents your best friends your lovers are all at a baseline chance of harming you#so why do i have to put in more work to assure you im at a 0% chance of harming you when the people around you dont#and you just automatically give them the benefit of believing they wont harm you/that the low chance is good enough for you#but i have to be at absolutely 0% chance for you to feel safe around me. when youre more likely to be hit by your partner than me
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