#He has a whole menagerie for a Reason

[sysig]

Animal collection as a hobby, a perfect fit! (Patreon)

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 4

Same as usual: famous or popular quotes being missed doesn't mean I don't like them it just means I don't have anything new to say, and some quotes will not have explanations because I just like them I don't really have anything to analyse

“Inej knew the moment Kaz entered the Slat” - first of all I think it’s relevant that this is our second chapter from Inej’s POV and both of them have begun with the focus entirely on Kaz, the first one being the infamous “Kaz Brekker didn’t need a reason”, which she immediately disproves to be factual and instead shows as something created by the opinion of the many who don’t really know Kaz and disputed by the few, herself included, who do. To some extent it’s possible that the same action is being completed with this introduction, since it’s actually less about Inej being aware of Kaz’s presence than it is about her being aware of the Dregs’ acknowledgment of him. Secondly I find it an interesting parallel between the pair, that Kaz recognises Inej’s presence despite no-one else knowing she’s there whilst Inej recognises Ka’s presence because everyone knows he’s there. This not only summarises their drives, for Inej to melt into the background and stop being noticed for her physical appearance and instead valued for her skills, and for Kaz to be seen, to rise to prominence, and to be noticed by Pekka Rollins, but also tells us about their particular gifts for reading people. Kaz reads individuals incredibly well, he explains this in many of his quotes about lock picking and blackmail and we also get the brilliant idea of the way he notices everything about a person down to their scent and the story that their scent tells (I’ve written before about the relevance of him being bothered by the fact that Inej doesn’t have a scent but in the Bathroom Scene he comments on how he can smell soap on her), he sees small details, tells, and nervous ticks and these things give him a massive advantage in the control he exercises over individuals. Inej reads crowds, she sees collective responses to people, events, or objects and uses that response to evaluate the thing that caused it, she doesn’t notice tells until Kaz suggests she looks out for them but she is able to very quickly assess Kaz’s chances of success, and how quickly those chances change, when he faces the Dregs at the Slat and leads a coup against Per Haskell in Crooked Kingdom.

“The worst part of the Barrel […] Most of the buildings in this part of the city had been built without foundations, many on swampy land where the canals were haphazardly dug. They leaned against each other like tipsy friends gathering at a bar, tilting at drowsy angles” - I love the description, I love the imagery, I have a deep obsession with worldbuilding… this is just great, like I don’t really know that’s there’s anything to say it’s just great

“Inej’s room was on the third floor, a skinny slice if space, barely big enough for a cot and a trunk. But with a window that looked out over the leaked roofs and jumbled chimneys of the Barrel. When the wind came through and cleared away the haze of coal smoke that hung over the city, she could even make out a blue pocket of harbour” - ok first of all I’m obsessed with the imagery and the description, and second of all I’m actually just going to copy and paste a post I made a while ago about the window because I find it an incredibly important detail for Inej and I think this is worth saying again:

‘I find it really interesting that Inej’s favourite part about her room at the Slat, despite it being “barely big enough to fit a cot”, is that she has her own window. I think this is important not only because all the windows at the Menagerie were barred, but also because the whole idea of a window is representative of the difference between her life in Ravka and her life in Kerch. Travelling through Ravka, she had no need or want of a window because she was part of and at one with the outdoor world, free to explore it and enjoy it as she saw fit, but in Ketterdam windows and rooftops are her way of travelling the city. They bring her a source of hope and connection to the life she lost whilst simultaneously being her method of completing jobs for the Dregs to slowly claw her back to that very life. So in a way, the window has become a physical manifestation of both a veil of separation between her and everything she’s ever loved or cared for, a literal sheet of glass between her and her world, and of a hope for salvation to return to that love and care.’

“If you had a gripe, you settled it outside where you didn’t risk interrupting the hallowed practice of separating pigeons from their money” - I love this quote so much but I also think it could be interpreted as quite sarcastic on Inej’s part; she talks a lot about how “nothing [is] sacred to the Kerch except trade” and finds a lot of their traditions baffling since their cultural attitude and religious attitude are both so different to the ones she was raised in. This could be seen as a subtle undermining of the culture that abused her whilst appropriating her own culture of peace, which is of course deeply ironic of them, and also reflective of the battle constantly waging inside her over the morality of her surroundings and the core moral code she knows she has broken and will continue to break because circumstance has left her no other choices - possibly linking to the way she specifically considers more fear of her parents not forgiving the actions she’s taken since leaving the Menagerie than what she was forced to do whilst imprisoned there

“I didn’t hurt you none. It was just words” - this is Rojax’s response to Inej punching him in the face whilst wearing brass knuckles after he insulted her, demanded money that neither she nor the gang owed him, and then tried to grab her collar. Now ignoring the money since to be fair we don’t know how much he stole and how much his pay cheque should have been so we don’t know if it evens out or not, the important thing here is that Rojax fails to identify his ability to do Inej damage by calling her “little girl” (words Tante Heleen weaponised against her), referring to her as though she’s Kaz’s property, and threatening violence towards her. I don’t think Rojax meant to affect Inej in the way he surely did, but I do think it shows so well that there’s a massive lack of understanding in the Barrel for the kind of pain that people like Inej have experienced and carry with them, especially since she herself comments on the way even though she hid the scar from her Menagerie tattoo “they all knew it was there”. I how this makes sense I’m not sure if I’ve articulated it quite right

“People were watching now, so she hit him again”

“It would’ve been easy enough to turn away when they called her names or sidled up and asked for a cuddle, but do that and soon it was a hand up your blouse or a try at you against a wall” - this again emphasises that there’s no real acknowledgment of Inej’s experience as traumatic but almost as intriguing or even erotic, and it reminds the reader of the rampant misogyny that travels through the Barrel not only in the dehumanising treatment of women and children in the pleasure houses but also in the cultural attitude as a whole. Although no-one sees Inej as a less threatening force because of her sex, it’s undeniable that the Barrel sees women as something to be conquered or won, and we also see this reflected by the upper classes in the attitudes of merchants and in Van Eck’s marriages.

“Nothing was sacred to the Kerch except trade” - laughing at myself because when I talked about it earlier I didn’t realise this quote was in this chapter

“Inej like Rojax, but right now he was just a frightened man looking to feel bigger than someone”

“Still clutching his cheek like a stunned toddler”

‘ “You look exhausted. Will you sleep at all tonight?”

Jesper just winked.

“Not while the cards are hot. Stay and play a bit, Kaz will stake you”

“Really, Jesper?” she’d said, pulling up her hood, “If I wanna watch men dig holes to fall into I’ll find myself a cemetery”

“Come on, Inej!” He’d called after her as she passed through the big double doors onto the street, “You’re good luck!”

Saints, she’d thought, if he believe that he really must be desperate. She’d left her luck behind in a Suli camp on the shores of West Ravka. She doubted she’d see either again” ’ - this conversation is so important in developing the reader’s baseline understanding for Jesper’s situation and addiction, and it’s not something I see people talk about a lot. Other than Kaz staking him and Jesper calling himself “a creature of habit”, this is the first concession to Jesper’s gambling “habit” being a genuine and debilitating addiction, and I think it’s important for us as the reader to so early on see that Inej, someone whose opinion Jesper so highly valued and someone he is evidently so close to, is unable to talk Jesper out of the card game - in fact the entire conversation to me gives the air of there having been many previous conversations where she tried and this one being one of many following where she’s all but given up. She expresses her opinion on the situation with the beautiful cemetery line, she directly confronts him in the issue by asking if he’s going to sleep tonight, and doesn’t hold back on pointing out that the addiction is having a physical impact on his health by saying that he looks exhausted, but she doesn’t make active strides to pull him away from the game. I think Inej has reached a point where she accepts that it isn’t her job to try and fix the people she cares about, but that doesn’t stop her from wanting to. She desperately needs Jesper to hear what she means through what she’s saying, and if he isn’t going to then she cannot stand by and helplessly watch his self-destruction. Jesper on the other hand seems to seek support in her and her presence because of his fears surrounding failure and not being cared for by others as much as he cares for them; he knows Inej leaves because she can’t help him and can’t watch him, and he knows that her trying to help him would make little long term difference as he explains in Crooked Kingdom when talking directly about his addiction, but that doesn’t mean that the cruel, self-destructive, disparaging part of him isn’t taunting him with the idea that she’s leaving because she doesn’t care about him and because she doesn’t want to help him, and that fear/pain only makes him feel more hollow and only makes him need to play more. Again I hope this makes sense it’s starting to feel like I’m just rambling

“Inej moved aside a bucketful of cleaning supplies that she’d placed there precisely because she knew no-one in the Slat would ever touch it” - I couldn’t cope in the Barrel. There’s no way I could cope with the fighting anyway, but if I by some miracle survived it would only be for the general lack of cleanliness to finish me off

' "This place is like anything in Ketterdam. It leaks,"

Inej could've sworn he looked directly at the vent when he said it. ' - I love this so much because Kaz never mentions anything about this himself but it just so fluidly becomes part of the way he's always aware of her presence. There's also never any surprise at meeting her right outside the closet she's hiding in immediately after the conversation with Haskell so I think we get the idea that's quite routine, and it begins more and more to introduce us to this quiet dependence Kaz and Inej have on each other without addressing it; there are so many things that they each know the others does but never mention, and I think generally speaking they both know that the other knows as well but their ease with one another doesn't require voicing it aloud - if anything it may even rely on keeping it silent, since neither of them are in a position yet where they can admit to themselves the need to rely on someone/the care they feel towards each other.

"You're smart Brekker, but you need to learn patience," - this line always catches me out a little, but I think it's actually just giving us another hint to the extent of disconnect Haskell has from the real experiences of his gang members. We already know Kaz to be a patient character at least in some of the situations we've seen so far, and he goes on to prove himself as immensely and genius-ly (I have no idea what the real word for that is, work with me) patient in his processes and his plans - particularly in Crooked Kingdom when he explains that "you don't win by playing one game". Remember it's in chapter TWO of Crooked Kingdom the Kaz puts the plan to hand Wylan his father's fortune into motion, we just don't know it until after the auction for Kuwei's indenture. Kaz does have a quote somewhere about how too many people aren't patient enough in committing crimes and that's how they end up making mistakes but I can't remember it exactly (I'm working off my audiobook at the minute so I can't flick through and find it), if any one knows it feel free to comment it because it's a great quote and a really interesting reference for this! My point here is that we know Kaz is a very patient person yet Haskell, someone who would appear on the surface to work so closely with him, is accusing him for a lack of it. Because realistically, Haskell has no idea of the everyday workings of the gang or anything of the scope of work Kaz puts into it, and I htink this is just another of the many unsavoury characters building hints we have to encourage the reader to develop an immediate disliking for Per Haskell in this scene.

"But you'll get your twenty percent" - it took me a while to actually think about the money and why the total is 30 million but the main six characters are only getting 4 million kruge each because honestly I won't lie it just didn't occur to me to actually think about the maths. Like I was vaguely aware that didn't add up but I didn't really think about it. But let's talk, because 30 million kruge split between 6 crew members should have meant each character receiving 5 million kruge each (30/6=5). But Per Haskell is owed 20% of any money that the Dregs earn, so he's taking some of the money. On the surface, does 20% seem like an unfair margin? Probably not, considering that theoretically the Dregs members owe him money, live at the Slat seemingly rent free, and are his employees in a business taht has to make money somehow. Personally I odn't think it's a great business model, but I literally know noting about business and also that's not really the point right now. The point is that on the surface 20% doesn't sound wholly unreasonable, and it doesn't sound unreasonable in this conversation. It's not until later, when Kaz offers Inej and Nina 4 million kruge to join the Ice Court Heist that it really occurs to us that they're kind of getting screwed over. Because 20% of 30 million kruge is 6 million kruge. SIX. This man is about to make 2 million more kruge by sitting around in Ketterdam playing with a ship in a bottle than any of our main characters are about to make for nearly dying a thousand times over and successfully infiltrating the Ice Court. What is interesting to me is how the decision of the money is made, because it seems that we're regarding it as if the income is solely Kaz's so he's paying Haskell is twenty percent then choosing to split the remainder between his crew, which seems to make sense since he was the one who was approached for the deal and the one who was offered the money. But if the money had been offered to hte six of them, the financial implications could have been far more complex. Wylan and Matthias aren't members of the dregs, so they would have no need to lose 20% of their income. They would each take 5 million, whilst the other four took 4 million and gave Haskell 1 million from each of their hauls. SO HASKELL WOULD STILL MAKE EQUAL TO THEM. Wylan and Matthias would come out marginally richer than the others, which neither of them were particularly bothered about anyway, and Haskell would still have done nothing and successfully screwed over Kaz and the other Dregs members. And I'm not saying they would've gone for that, because I don't doubt that Wylan and Matthias would have suggested splitting the income the way they do in the book anyway, but I'm saying it's so important that ultimately the person winning here is always Per Haskell. But what's really interesting about Kaz is that not only does he never question the suggestion of splitting the money evenly when he could have easily claimed more for himself as the person who made the deal nad hired on the others, effectively putting himself in Haskell's position except with more involvement, but even when he cuts Haskell out of the business he keeps none of the 6 million kruge for himself, instead splitting it between Rotty and Specht for their smaller roles in the Ice Court Heist. Kaz represents so many things that Per Haskell doesn't, and in that way he comes to represent key things that Pekka Rollins isn't as well, since the book makes strides to show Haskell and Rollins as effectively representative for all the gang leaders. Even though Rollins appears far more involved and on the ball than Haskell, when Inej attacks him in the final chapter of Crooked Kingdom he is forced to question the last time he "felt real pain" since no-one dared to actually fight him any more. I really hope this makes sense because it's very rambly and I'm starting to think I just explained fairly straight forward maths for no real reason.

"Rich as Saints in crowns of gold" - ok I love this because it shows us so much of what Kaz, or if we assume this is a common saying then the Kerch or just citizens of the Barrel, think of the Saints and of religious iconography. We know from the King of Scars duology, the Lives of Saints, and probably to some extent Shadow and Bone that the Saints' lives were not ones of riches, fame, or power, but Kaz exercises this idea of people turning themselves into religious icons for crude, financial purposes. I actually wonder if the way he views them is a kin to the way I've talked about viewing Jarl Brum as a reader, and I think that it's really important to hear this from Inej's perspective because we're already heightened to such an opposite idea by the overall style and tone of the chapter.

"And why Pim? The thought shamed her a bit. She could almost hear her father's voice: So eager to be the queen of thieves, Inej. It was one thing to do her job and do it well, it was quite another to want to succeed at it. She didn't want a permanent place with the Dregs, she wanted to pay off her debts and be free of Ketterdam forever, so why should she care if Kaz chose Pim to run the gang in his absence? Because I'm smarter than Pim," - First of all shout out to the Inej narrator of the soc audiobook because she nailed the intonation of "I'm smarter than Pim" I love it. Second of all we get this really interesting implication of Inej's moral code here, because as I've talked about before her morality is incredibly important to her and the necessity of crossing that line to survive has wreaked havoc on her emotional and probably mental states. She sees a clear distinction between doing what she has to in order to survive and enjoying what she does and I think this is possibly her 'new' moral code to cope with the inability to control her life and stick to what she considers her core moral values.

' "What would you say to 4 million kruge?"

"Money like that is more curse than gift,"

"My little Suli idealist. All you need is a full belly and an open road," he said, the mockery clear in his voice.

"And an easy heart, Kaz"

That was the difficult part. '

"We'll be kings and queen, Inej. Kings and queens,"

"Kaz was not a giddy boy smiling and making future plans her. He was a dangerous player who was always working an angle. Always."

' "I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night,"

"Wylan? If this is for a big job..."

"Just do it," ' - Inej throws so much shade on Wylan early in six of crows and I always seem to forget and then be caught off guard when she's just complaining to Kaz that he's useless and Wylan's like '... I'm right here,'

"One moment he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder,"

' "Fence it,"

"Whose is it?"

"Ours now," ' - I shouldn't find this romantic, should I?

"Move the DeKappel we lifted from Van Eck's house into the vault. I think it's rolled up under my bed," - pleaseeeeee he doesn't even have the painting up, the audacity in this boy know no bounds. I talked a lot about the DeKappel when I was writing about the last chapter so I'm not going to detail it here, but everything about it makes me so happy

"Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won't you do me the honour of acquiring me a new hat?" - first of yesssssssssss we love, and secondly I wrote a whole thing about Kaz using sarcasm as a defence mechanism and the complexity of his inability to express emotions a while ago with particular focus on this quote and a few others so if you want to you can find that on my page or I might be able to tag people on it or whatever if you can't find it because it was some time ago now

' Inej cast a meaningful glance at his cane.

"Have a long trip down," she siad, then leapt onto the bannister sliding from one floor to the next, slick as butter in a pan. '

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed and that my scattered thoughts made at least some sense <3

[pilot-boi]

Wonder what other ghosts affect the Voices AU. Watts? Lionheart? Sienna? Fennec Albain? Amber? Vernal? Brawnz, Roy, and May Z? Pilot Boi? Fria? Nicholas Schnee? Gretchen? F Pickerel (the guy who initially captured Tyrian)? Ilia's parents? That huntsman that died in front of RNJR in Volume 4? Fox's uncle Copper? Marcus Black? Bartleby from Brunswick Farms? Ozpin (the host, not Ozma)? Forest? Curious? Neo's parents? Rhodes? Sleet? Hazel? Tock? Tukson? Clover? Vine? Sorry this is a lot.

Nah you’re good, lemme just cover them one at a time. It’s nice to see people excited

Saddle in because this going to be VERY long

Okay first of all we need to establish some ground rules. Not all deaths in Remnant create a ghost, otherwise Jaune wouldn’t be able to function ANYWHERE because if all natural deaths made a ghost the whole world would be infested

So ghosts only appear from particularly traumatic/violent deaths. AKA Grimm, usually. But if you die peacefully in your bed, you don’t make a ghost.

ALSO, if it’s been long enough, or they don’t have a reason to stay, a ghost will fade away. This process is faster for ghosts without their Aura unlocked. As they fade they become harder and harder to understand until their speech is complete unintelligible

For example, Oz and Salem’s daughters have LONG since faded. In Kuroyuri most of the citizens are still around but they’re completely unintelligible and barely corporeal, but Li is the same as the day he died because he has a “mission” to continue protecting the village

So going through the list, I can say that Fria, Nicholas Schnee, and presumably Neo’s parents wouldn’t have ghosts. They all died naturally. But all those other guys would have ghosts

Most of them continue haunting the area where they died, or go off and do their own thing

Some of them would probably follow the gang around if they could but they don’t know where the gang is. For example, Ironwood only knows where they are because he was in the inner circle and so knows the next target is Vacuo

And then there’s the ghosts that don’t follow out of choice

Pilot Boi, for example, tries to find his way back to Atlas. Bartleby continues haunting his farm even after the gang leave. Lionheart is a coward and stays in Haven Academy. The huntsman who died returns to the capital, same with Tock with her respective city. Forest and Sleet stay haunting the ruins of Mantle and Atlas, as do Amber and Tukson with Vale.

That leaves a LOT of ghosts though, so let’s cover them one at a time

Most of them, if they don’t haunt a location, follow around someone who was important to them in life, like Pyrrha does with Jaune

Watts and Ironwood both go to Vacuo, because they know that’s the next target. They bicker the whole way which is very entertaining

Hazel follows Emerald around, a sort of guardian spirit. Since he helped them escape and fought Salem for them, Jaune doesn’t see any reason to try and get him to leave. He does tell Emerald that Hazel is there, though

Fennec follows his brother around, which mostly just consists of the two of them sitting in jail. He tries to comfort his brother, but of course Corsac doesn’t know he’s there

Sienna follows Adam around, constantly berating him, and she helps Pyrrha kick his ass when he finally dies. After that she goes back to Menagerie

Vernal either follows Raven around or returns to the tribe. It’s not like she’d be lonely, there’s plenty of ghosts in the Branwens to keep her company

Brawnz, Roy, and May Z all follow Nolan to Vacuo when he goes. He doesn’t know they’re there until Jaune arrives and can tell him, and then Nolan breaks down crying because his team didn’t let him have to be alone, even after dying

Gretchen, of course, follows her twin around and the two reunite after his death. It’s the happiest and most complete Hazel has felt in decades. Jaune doesn’t even know they were siblings until after Hazel dies and they reunite. After all, she still looks seventeen

F Pickerel probably tries to follow Tyrian around, at least until he joins Salem, and then the man’s spirit is promptly banished. Gretchen she allows to stay because she knows the girl won’t try to interfere, she just wants to be with her brother, but Pickerel could be a problem

Ilia’s parents of course follow her around, from Mantle to Mistral to Menagerie and eventually to Vacuo. Not that she knows, again until Jaune gets to Vacuo and can tell her. Then she has a similar reaction to Nolan

Copper follows Fox until he joins team CFVY and finally has a family again, then the man passes on since his “nephew” is safe and loved

Marcus Black would certainly TRY to follow Mercury, at least until he gets to Everlight. Then the man almost meets a similar fate from Gretchen as Adam does at Pyrrha’s hands. Gretchen isn’t quite strong enough to get him to leave, just enough to get him to keep his distance. Once Hazel dies, though, it’s all over for him

Ozpin, of course, follows Oscar around. Jaune actually figured something is up with Oscar when they first meet because for the first time ever, someone else can hear what a ghost is saying. Only the most recent Ozcarnation remains as a spirit, and as the merge comes closer, Ozpin’s ghost starts to fade

Oz used to be able to see/hear ghosts just like Salem, but as he’s used up his magic he’s lost that ability. He DOES know that Jaune can see ghosts, because the boy makes eye contact with him and reacts when he speaks to Oscar

Rhodes would, of course, follow Cinder, but he gets similarly banished when she joins up with Salem. A Huntsman’s spirit is too dangerous to keep around

Clover follows Qrow around, trying to apologize to the man for his stupidity. The two of them reunite when Vine dies, and they actually also get to reunite with Tortuga as well. With Tortuga back it’s the first time the Ace Ops have felt whole since his death, and all three follow the remaining Ace Ops to Vacuo

And finally, the Curious Cat. CC doesn’t leave a spirit when they die, because Ascension works differently. No body left behind, so I figure also no spirit. Alyx only left one behind because she was killed and because she’s from Remnant she doesn’t ascend

[fleet-off]

Headcanons regarding Pete and macau's relationship? Like their dynamics?

Ooohh, thank you for this question, anon! As it happens I have a whole essay of thoughts on Pete and Macau’s relationship, and I am currently going insane about it in an in-progress chapter of Menagerie. Have a free mini-snippet?

Pete hums. “Yeah, I figured your hia picked it up somewhere. He’s not half the original he thinks he is.” With a sideways glance, he adds, “You used to throw rocks at Khun Noo’s koi, too.” Macau’s ears heat up like he’s been caught with the pebbles in his hand. He whirls to face Pete. “I wasn’t mad, I was just,” he starts to protest, scrambling for the edges of the sneering mask that’ll let him pretend it doesn’t matter— Pete raises his eyebrows. He knows. “It’s easy to get vindictive when you’re angry about things you can’t control,” he offers. Pete is like that sometimes, under the feigned clumsiness and foolish-eyed smiles. He knows exactly what to say to make Macau feel uncomfortably understood. It’s fucking ruthless. Macau doesn’t know if he’ll ever quite be used to it.

Whoops, kiddo got perceived.

See, Macau has a lot of Vegas in him, and Macau is the reason Vegas has any capacity for tenderness. And Pete is very aware of this—Pete is the one who twice lists Macau as reason for Vegas to live. (side thought but. the parallel between Vegas and Porsche there, with Porsche having this directive from his mother to survive until Chay gets through college? and that not ultimately being enough to live for? simply fillet me okay I’m—)

Anyway. Pete knows he’s signing up for some Macau too, and that means signing up for the brat who likes to throw rocks and jumpscare poor unsuspecting spies. And Pete knows well that said brat is a teen with the family inferiority complex, that he is widely disregarded and ignored (in need of love), and that his world revolves around the only person in this world who has loved him and made him feel a part of things. And that person is—for the first month—lying comatose between them in a hospital bed.

Pete’s world revolves around the same broken-aching-tender point. And this is the part Macau knows even if he doesn’t know why, so for the first month? That’s where their dynamic lives.

And then Vegas is awake, and there’s a potential for happiness in him that simply was not there before, and it’s Pete. Pete can make Vegas better. That means it’s Macau’s job to help make sure Pete stays. And isn’t it fascinating that Macau goes straight for “in-law”? Straight for “family,” because in Macau and Vegas’s world family is the ultimate binding. Macau says in-law and means you’re part of us now. For better or for worse. For good.

(There is—not jealousy, but a niggling sense of personal insufficiency underneath. Macau’s world does revolve around Vegas. However miserable life gets, Macau has his big brother and that is enough to keep him living and pushing forward.

Macau isn’t enough to keep Vegas on this earth.

Which is. Fine. Nothing new. Macau’s never been enough, why would the most important person in his world be any different? He can help keep Vegas’s world here, and maybe that’ll count for something.)

I think it takes Macau several months to realize that Pete isn’t a silver bullet for his brother’s mental health and happiness.

Pete’s just a dude. He likes video games where he gets to play a secret agent. He and Vegas argue loud and make up louder. Dropping dishes makes him jumpy. He sweats and laughs a lot when he’s drunk, and swallows disgusting herbal concoctions the next morning to deal with the hangover. When he notices Macau’s expectations for him and Vegas, he either smiles too wide or goes very quiet and still and Macau’s not sure which is worse. Sometimes he forgets to lock the bathroom door. Sometimes Macau dozes off on his shoulder during movie night and he doesn’t move until Macau stirs awake.

Sometimes he fucks up, the way people do.

And Macau realizes: maybe the only person who can keep someone on this earth is the person themselves. And maybe Vegas sometimes needs his brother, the one who made his crooked arms a cradle. And maybe Pete and Macau sometimes need each other too, because their world is hard and there are struggles only the two of them know—as if by dull fluorescent light, as if by the steady-prayer beat of a heart monitor. And definitely, always, the three of them need each other.

[bestworstcase]

Ancillary to the posts about wet paper bag oz: I would love to see a RWBY prequel special or something set during the great war? I would bet REAL LIFE DOLLARS whatever he did with the sword was also when he finally had to admit that Salem was right all those years ago, and it fucked him up so bad we got the weak attempt at unification via the huntsman system and his next incarnation disassociating on the regular.

I am rattling him like a cookie jar. What horrors have you seen old man.

i think about this SO much. like

The King of Vale personally led his army into battle alongside the soldiers of Vacuo and decimated the enemy forces. Crown atop his head and armed only with a sword and his scepter, he laid waste to countless men. As the sand was soaked red with blood, the Grimm came in droves. It was the single deadliest battle of the war, and legends of the greatness and terror of the Warrior King were born that day. Historians will tell you that most of these stories are nothing but grandiose hyperbole. Unusually violent weather conditions, combined with Mantle's unfamiliarity with desert combat, are likely what led to such a high death count. But whatever the reasoning, everyone bowed to the King of Vale by the time it was over. The Great War had ended. The world was ready to live under the rule of Vale. But the King refused.

laughs weakly. this is a war that began with oz rolling out a welcome mat for mistrali colonists in his own kingdom, ignoring the protestations of his own people, so desperate was he to avoid an armed conflict. (with… the imperial power busily conquering his kingdom wshgfk OZMA. PLEASE.)

ten years later he ends it doing… that. the great war broke something in him sure as sure. i think that final battle was his:

“you said we had to bring humanity together; in order to do that, we have to spread our word, and destroy those who would deny it”

decimated the enemy forces. the sand was soaked red with blood and the grimm came in droves. the single deadliest battle in a war that lasted ten years. unusually violent weather conditions. the greatness and terror of the warrior king… who laid waste to countless men and routed every army on that battlefield. even his ally surrendered.

it’s also. well. the great war. extremely pointed thing to call your fictional global war that happened 80-90 years ago, following a century marked by increasing global tensions and smaller scale conflicts between imperial powers, and is now remembered for precipitating a devastating military arms race, the complete destruction of innumerable settlements, and ending with a treaty that "redistributed territories" ie gave independence to vacuo and menagerie as new sovereign states. oh, and an indeterminate amount of time later there was a second huge war that is now remembered for [checks notes] …the genocide.

glances at modern history. ok.

glances at

this nonsense also, courtesy of general "never fought a war but rules the country that made cosplaying the great war its whole national identity" ironwood.

it was trench warfare. that broke him. king oz sat in the trenches under never-ending artillery bombardment watching soldiers die by the thousands in a miserably futile grinding war of attrition for ten years until he shattered and personally slaughtered more people than had died in any single battle in ten years of TRENCH WARFARE with the divine relic of destruction. the war to end all wars, right?

and then—if it didn’t happen within that lifetime—he reincarnated to humankind being "quite, quite adamant about centralizing the faunus population in menagerie" (😶) and consequently another major war lasting at least three years.

what horrors has he seen, indeed.

tiny tdt draft snippet because when i say i think about this a LOT… ->

“I…” Wetting his lips, Osiander rasps, “want to put an end to war.” “You’ll need to consult my sisters,” the spirit says without inflection. “Abstractions are not in my purview.” Of course. There’s a poisoned laugh caught between his ribs, a bubble of reckless despair; he shuts his eyes, and grits his teeth, and grinds out, “This war, then.” “Narrower.” “I want,” Salem, indifferent, advising him to crush those who would not see reason. Salem asking him to try. Paradise. He chokes back a sob. “To rout every army on this battlefield,” he says. “I want a victory so absolute that it cannot be answered by anything less than unconditional surrender to myself, personally. I would end this, here and now.”

he’s fine. he’s fine

[monstersdownthepath]

Herald of Iomedae: The Hand of the Inheritor

CR 15

Lawful Good Large Outsider

Inner Sea Gods, pg. 292 (image from the Wrath of the Righteous video game!)

Among the most famous of the Divine Heralds is the first one we'll be looking at during Heralds of Hope Month. I say 'most famous' for a few reasons; he's one of the most active Heralds on the planet, what with that whole Worldwound problem going on in the north. There is rarely a moment's rest allowed for the Hand of the Inheritor in the tireless battle against the Abyss' expansion, so it's perhaps no small surprise surprise that he would eventually make a terrible and tragic mistake and end up the mercy of someone without any.

There's other reasons he's famous, in and out of universe, and those reasons are why he's no longer the Herald of Iomedae.

But this isn't talking about the now, we're still in the then! When he was at his strongest, healthiest, and least corrupted most devoted to the ideals of the Inheritor Goddess. Fittingly enough for the servant of what is essentially the Goddess of Paladins, the Hand is an angel blessed with the powers of a Paladin, built for and unafraid to put himself right in the middle of a pitched battle and cut his way through Evil like a hot knife while they struggle ineffectually to harm him. Like all angels, he's protected by a 20ft "nuh-uh" bubble that shields himself and all his allies from Evil creatures, granting them and him +4 to AC and to saving throws versus Evil creatures and effects, while also hedging out Evil summoned creatures and stopping any spell of 3rd level or lower from entering this sphere of protection, stripping many fiendish minions of their ranged options.

But of course, that's just what every angel can do. Let's look at what the Hand's unique powers have in store...

HAH, gotcha! The Hand of the Inheritor has no unique powers! I wasn't joking when I said he was basically an angel with Paladin class levels. ... except not really, because an angel with Paladin class levels would actually be much better than the poor Hand actually ends up being. But we'll get to that in a moment, so first, the positives!

Perhaps fittingly for a man who finds himself fighting alongside the front lines against demons, the Hand is just as useful bolstering his allies as he is actually leaping ahead of them into the fray. He has Aid, Lesser Restoration, Dispel Magic, and Magic Weapon all at-will, can grant himself or his allies Bull's Strength or Resist Energy 3/day, can swath the battlefield in a calming Prayer up to 3/day, and give everyone around him some extra stats and 18 temp HP with Burst of Glory 3/day. Any ally that falls in the midst of battle may be re-raised with his 3/day Raise Dead, but actually killing anyone he's trying to protect in order to draw out that resurrection is incredibly hard because of his 1/days: Death Ward, Dispel Evil, Greater Restoration, and Heal.

Killing HIM is even more annoying, because he's got 15 charges of Lay on Hands, which means +9d6 hitpoints for him as a swift action, IF you manage to get past his 32 AC. With such a menagerie of protective magic, you may think he's got no room for offense, to which I answer: 3/day Flame Strike, Holy Smite AND Order's Wrath to bring down on his foes from a distance, smiting entire crowds of them at once, and of course that's nothing compared to what happens when he gets in close. His 150ft flight speed lets him cross entire battlefields in seconds and settle down to begin Full-Attacking up to four times a round with his +2 Holy Longsword for 2d6+9 (+2d6 vs Evil) damage. Not only does he have a threatening sword, but his shield isn't just for defense, and he can indeed bash someone twice a round with his +2 Heavy Steel Shield for 1d6+5 damage. Anyone slammed by his shield is subject to a free Bull Rush attempt from the Herald as well, letting him reposition dangerous enemies as he needs.

Quite the force! But, sadly, that's about where everything of particular note ends. His Protective Aura is always on, and he's also got a 10ft Aura of Courage to grant his allies +4 against fear effects... But nothing else. Why, exactly, he lacks any of the other aura abilities a Paladin of his HD would have is a question I have no good answer for, and while he DOES have Lay on Hands (9d6 HP, 15/day), he lacks any Mercies to flavor the ability in any way or make it any more substantial... and, even more damning AND more baffling, he has no ability to Smite Evil. Given where he works, you'd think Mercies and Smite Evil would have been the second things Iomedae wrote on his sheet right after she finished giving him his gear.

Fun fact on that note, though: He wasn't originally Iomedae's Herald, he was Ragathiel's, and joined Iomedae's crusade after being awed by her skills and her sense of justice. She didn't even make him! But being the Herald of Ragathiel just makes his lack of auras, Mercies, and Smite Evil even MORE glaring, because Ragathiel has all of those.

There's also one unfortunate choice in regards to his skills that feels like a pretty big weakness: His impressive flight speed goes to waste with his lack of Fly ranks, meaning anything but a straight line is difficult for him to manage, and certain weather conditions or enemy attacks can severely impact his ability to remain airborne. He has more ranks in SWIM than in Fly! SWIM!

A lot of the Heralds in Inner Sea Gods have similar design choices, which is a huge shame, because that's where almost every Good-aligned Divine Herald is found! Whoof! His showing in the Wrath of the Righteous video game was significantly more impressive, with the ability to use Wall of Force and apply Smite Evil to entire crowds of enemies at once.

I'm not saying he's weak, no, he's actually a very powerful and stubbornly resilient melee beatstick that's outright immune to most demonic tricks and tools, but he's got some design flaws and odd choices that make it hard for someone like me to be interested in him. Perhaps this is why he's eventually superseded by someone with actual Paladin levels.

You can read more about him here.

[nov4-rocket5]

I completely understand why people hate Jaune from how he acts in canon, how he has too much screentime, to how he's portrayed as Chad Thundercock by fanfic writers, to how he's the writer's pet.

I get that but I still like the CANON character because currently as of right now whenever it's just team RWBY, shit is just boring. Blake lost some braincells somewhere in Menagerie and now is nothing more than a damsel in distress who needs Yang and Ruby to save her, Weiss never does shit besides threaten her little brother and drink tea in her mansion, Yang's too busy babying Ruby while making kissy faces with Blake, and Ruby's crying every two seconds about having some burden placed on her shoulders when NO ONE has done that. They had 5 whole episodes just to themselves in volume 9 and it was BORING SLOP. Ruby and Weiss never got to talk about Penny's death all of it was off-screen. Weiss never got to talk about the guilt she feels from letting Atlas fall. Shit only picked up once Neo and Jaune came into the story. But that's really because KERRY, EDDY, and MILES don't know how to write the female characters.

I like the blonde's blind optimism. I like how he treated Jessica in the movie helping some kid through her anxiety is great I just don't get why no one else volunteered to do the same. I especially like how human he comes off with him basically helping the community with small time shit. He's just consistently a good guy a boring one but a good guy nonetheless.

It also helps that his cut reminds me of Laios from Delicious in Dugeon.

Yeah, a lot of people like to blame RWBY's lackluster main cast development/characterization on Jaune eating up screentime. But the core problem is that CRWBY just seemed to struggle with juggling a huge cast of characters.

Which is odd, because Early RvB had a huge cast that all were handled pretty well.

Let's be honest, plenty of characters besides just Jaune eat up screentime. Pyrrha got loredumped on and is one of the main focuses of Volume 3, all while Team RWBY just kinda dicked around Vytal for most of the season.

Look at the WF subplot. Jaune wasn't stealing spotlight on that at all; CRWBY was just terrible at writing "le racism" and decided to drop it by Vol 6 because they realized how much they sucked at it.

The only reason Weiss is sometimes deemed the best out of the other 3 members of her team is because she's the only one with a tangible character arc and development. Even then CRWBY choked in the end on that too.

Jaune went from pretty bad, to solid, to kinda bad again but not as bad. Team RWBY aren't underdeveloped because of him, they're underdeveloped because the way they've been handled is just incompetent. If you cut him from the show entirely the problem would be blamed on some other character.

[ornii]

My Bitter Half series? Shut up and take my money!

It's monopoly money but the point still stands!

I Never expected that short story to get such praise. But if people want more of it, I’d be glad to I love the Siblings Dynamic, so here’s part 2 AKa: (Y/n) Pissing Wednesday off for (insert number) minutes.

My Better Bitter Half, Part 2

Chapter 2: Sibling rivalry, Part 1.

“The whole snarky Goth girl thing might have worked at normie school, but here things are different. Let me give you a wiki on Nevermore's social scene.”

Enid and (Y/n) walk between Wednesday down the hall.

“I'm not interested in participating in tribal adolescent clichés.”

“Well, then use it to fill your obviously bottomless pit of disdain. There are many flavors of outcasts here, but the four main cliques are Fangs, Furs, Stoners and Scales.” She explains, they eventually reach the Quad, the main social hub of Nevermore.

“Those are the Fangs, AKA vampires. Some of them have been here for decades.” (Y/n) motions to the ones in deep dark glasses. A few of the more feminine vampires eye the Addams Twins, more importantly (Y/n). They growl and wink at him, some batting their fangs.

“That bunch of knuckleheads are Furs, AKA werewolves. Like me!” Enid smiles, and the howling of werewolves echo along the annals of Nevermore.

“Full moons get pretty loud around here. That's when Furs wolf out. I suggest you pick up noise-cancelling headphones.” Enid said.

“I'm assuming Scales are sirens?” Wednesday said.

“You catch on quick.” Enid smiles, and motions to a girl, dark beautiful skin with azure blue eyes.

“And that girl, Bianca Barclay, is the closest thing Nevermore has to royalty. Although her crown's been slipping lately. She used to date our resident tortured artist, Xavier Thorpe. But they broke up at the beginning of the semester. Reason unknown.”

“Fascinating.” Wednesday says, obviously sarcastically.

“I know, right? My vlog is, like, the number one source for Nevermore gossip.” Enid says with a prideful gleam. (Y/n) sighs at this, until Ajax, a friend and local stoner approaches Wednesday.

Yo, (Y/n) Enid! You're not gonna believe the dirt I heard about your new roommate. She eats human flesh. Chowed down on that kid she murdered.You better watch your back (Y/n).” Ajax says to Wednesday, “You look, shorter, did you grow your hair out?” He asks.

“Ajax.” You say, “That is my Sister Wednesday, the girl who is Rooming with Enid.” You say and he peers over to her, stoned out of his mind.

“O-oh uh—“ he begins but is halted

“Quite the contrary. I actually fillet the bodies of my victims, then feed them to my menagerie of pets.” Wednesday says, which blows Ajax’s mind.

“Whoa. You're both in black and white.” He says to the twins. “Like a living Instagram filter.” (Y/n) shakes his head

“Ignore him. Gorgons spend way too much time getting stoned. He's cute, but clueless.” Enid says, ignoring Ajax, the three continue to acquire her schedule.

“It's a small school. There wasn't much online about you. You should really get on Insta, Snapchat and TikTok. I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.” Wednesday responds deadpanned.

“Are, you sure this is your sister?” Enid asks (Y/n), who grins.

“Unfortunately yes, In all her glory I’m sure.” You say coldly, The day ends and the family must bid goodbye to the twins, Pugsley hugs Wednesday.

“Pugsley, you're soft and weak. You'll never survive without me. I give you two months, tops.” She said

“I'm gonna miss you, too, sis.” He responds, he hugs (Y/n) who gladly reciprocated, and tags a “stab me.” Note on pugsleys back.

“I’ll miss you too little brother.” You say and the family leave in the car, the two stand silent before you spoke to her.

“A Word of Advice Mi Hermana (My Sister) Any plans you have of running away end right now. Mother has alerted all family members to contact her the minute you darken their doorstep, I will be watching you, closely.” You say as you go lucky attitude quickly fades.

“As usual, you underestimate me, Mi Hermano. I will escape this educational penitentiary, and you will never hear from me again.” She says, (Y/n) growls a bit and folds his arms.

“I detest saying this, but You are a brilliant girl, Wednesday, and.. as much as It annoys me, I’d… I’d honestly miss you if you left.” You admit, Wednesdays cold stare slightly warmed as you gritted your teeth.

“Mother wishes for you to stay here, you’re lucky you aren’t in prison like Uncle Fester. Don’t throw your life away over your pride.” You say and walk away leaving Wednesday to consider your words, but as siblings go, she wouldn’t take your orders laying down.

The Next day, (Y/n) effortlessly knocks Rowan down in their fencing, using his quick fencing ability.

“Coach, Coach, he tripped me.” Rowan complains.

“It was a clean strike, Rowan.” You say, “Widen your stance, build more muscle and I won’t knock you over like a twig.” You say, you turn your attention to the other novice fencers.

“Anyone wish to challenge the Prince of Nevermore?” You say, and one voice speaks up.

“I do.”

(Y/n) turns to face his sister, Wednesday. Geared to the toe for fencing. You can only laugh and tilt your head.

“Wednesday, as amusing as this would be I’d rather avoid hurting my own blood.”

“Do you? It seems nothing has changed since you left home, you’re still a coward.”

“Ooh!” The fencers say from parts of the room, (Y/n)’s smile Fades to silence and burning fury. (Y/n) snaps his fingers and the teacher looks up.

“Professor, I’d like a match with Wednesday Addams..” you say coldly and he nods, “First to three strikes.” The siblings get in position and pit on their gear. Drawing their sabres their intense glares focus on each other,

“En garde.” They say in unison and move in, the strikes were fast, fluent and held so much animosity. Each stroke inches closer to a point, before a quick jab to (Y/n)‘s neck won Wednesday a point.

“Point to Wednesday.” The Coach says, Wednesday voice was muffled but (Y/n) could hear it.

“You know what they say Brother, “Pride Cometh before the fall.” She says, (Y/n) moved in, much more ferocious and hungry for victory. The blades dance and trade before (Y/n) lands a point on her heart. The score is even.

“Let's finish this.” You say.

“Agreed. For the final point, I would like to invoke a military challenge. No masks. No tips. Winner draws first blood.” Wednesday says.

“Fine.” You respond and tear your mask off.

“I’ll apologize to mother when she visits you.” You say and Wednesdays focus was dead on you, and the final round began, the bladed tips were fast, sharp and each swing and jab were inches, millimeters away from landing a point, each attack felt so, raw, full of fury and strike, their blades clash once more and Wednesday goes for a stab, (Y/n) for a downward slash. And blood, was spilled.

(Y/n) and Wednesday sat in the nurses office together, both bleeding. Wednesday had a small cut on the top of her head, and her brother? Not as fortunate. He had his upper shirt removed as there was a stab wound in his shoulder. It was being patched up by the nurse and wrapped. The nurse leaves as the siblings sit together.

“Sorry for being a bit too, aggressive.” You say to her, Wednesday kept staring forward.

“I apologize for almost piercing your heart.” She said.

“I’ll admit, what you said got under my skin, you always had that ability to bring the worst emotions out of me.” She explains, “What’s Family good for?” You say sarcastically.

“I meant what I said though, I’d be amiss to have my other half missing. As much as you Hate it mother cares for you, as I do.” You said, you put your hand on her leg and try to reassure her.

“Just, Take what i Said into consideration.” You ask her, Wednesday turns her head to face yours. “I’ll consider it.” She responds.

“Thank you, I’m still going to stab you back though.” You say smirking, and Wednesday attempts to hide her grin.

“You’ll have to Earn it.”

[croissantlover24]

Firewall’s Malware Chapter Three: The Escape (and Confrontation)

Moon sat at the island in his kitchen, looking down at his shaky hands. He couldn’t help but feel responsible for Dazzle’s death. The poor kid barely got to live again before she was killed. If Moon had been faster—smarter—maybe he could have—he shook his head, weary and exhausted. He could discuss who was at blame within his mind later. Now, he was battered, his leg broken. Escaping that hellscape had been a nightmare. He didn’t wish to relive it, but his thoughts decided to harass him with it anyway.

———————————

Moon froze when the computer’s attention locked onto him, millions of notions drowning out his audio receptors and tearing at his heartstrings. It was anger, he reasoned with himself. He was mad at the computer. He wasn’t upset; he wasn’t about to cry; he wasn’t—

His throat tightened. “Focus,” he growled beneath his breath, cursing his lack of preparation. Onyx was rambling about something, but Moon wasn’t listening. He had little control over both his body and mind. Moving around was a nightmare because of his crushed leg. Error messages flashed across his screen, warning him of the danger as he dismissed each one.

Deep breath in.

Hold…

Deep breath out.

Deep brea—

A laser barely missed the top of his hat, Moon ducking just in time. That was when he had an idea. If the computer could burn a hole open in the wooden doors, the lunar animatronic could jump out and escape just in time.

In theory.

He glared up at his former tool, or, rather, what was left of it: endless wires embracing every inch of netting around the daycare.

His eyes narrowed. “Come get me, Computer.”

A laser shot right at him. Moon ducked at the last second. A large hole was burnt into the double doors. Smoke billowed out from the charred wood.

The lunar animatronic bolted out of the establishment, dodging rainfall-levels of weapons, exposed wires, lasers, and every other trick Moon had coded into the AI’s sleeve. He tried to open a portal home, but wires on the ground made him trip. The portal faded. Moon hissed a menagerie of colorful language beneath his breath. He swiftly regained his footing and kept running, even as a stray wire slashed one of his fingers off. Pain blossomed from both his broken leg (he was hopping around as quickly as he could) and lost finger. Oil poured out of the socket his left thumb had once been in, leaving a dark trail mimicking one blood might make.

Moon once again attempted to create a portal.

An oval of white light began to take shape.

The monotonous colors of the outside of the house formed, blurry but there.

It was dark out. How much time had passed?

Moon reached forward and—

He ran right into a wall, his portal fading with the force of the slam. His mind reeled as he looked around. The world spun all around him until he fell backwards. In seconds, he opened a portal beneath him to catch him.

Moon gasped for breath as he entered his home, choking despite not needing air. He slipped into the chair at the island, his head in his hands.

That was where he was now.

He could practically see the blood on his fingers, imbedded into his very being despite him trying to clear his mind.

He needed to calm down before—

His whole body trembled.

His head felt heavy, an anvil weighing down feathers.

His vision blurred, dimming at the edges.

A static film seemed to go over his eyes, harsh and unforgiving.

It was his fault. His fault his fault his—

He needed to calm. Down.

How did he steady himself before?

Deep breath deep breath deep—

“Moon?” Sun questioned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “It’s been hours. Have you seen Dazzle? How did the override code go? Did it work? Dazzle wasn’t with you, right? …Right?”

That’s when Moon broke down sobbing.

——————

Earth has been playing a game with Jack when she heard it. Tears.

She didn’t recognize the sound of crying. It almost reminded her of—

Her breath caught in her throat.

“Jack, stay here,” she requested, calm despite the sea of turmoil inside of her. Jack thankfully nodded, satisfied with asking no questions.

Earth walked into the kitchen, turning on a light to see better. The sight shocked her.

Her brother, Moon, was bawling at the table, looking utterly destroyed. And missing a finger. Sun stood in front of the chair adjacent to him, stuttering as he fruitlessly tried to calm down his erratic brother.

“It’s my fault, Sun!” he yelled. “I didn’t stop him!!! I LET HIM KILL DAZZLE!!” His voice faulted as he yelled, blabbering like a newborn baby.

“Who killed Dazzle?” Earth asked, ensuring her voice was gentle as to not upset the depressed bot further.

“T-The Computer,” Moon stuttered out. “Onyx.”

Earth’s expression hardened. “Sun, stay with Moon. I’m going to go talk to ‘Onyx’.”

“NO!!” Moon screamed suddenly, grabbing Earth’s shirt sleeve. He was sure to feel humiliated for this act of helplessness later. “I can’t—I can’t lose you, too!!! I KILLED DAZZLE!!!”

”You didn’t kill Dazzle,” Earth explained calmly, trying to soothe her brother as Sun did the same. “The computer did. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure?” Sun asked suddenly, turning to his sister. “Look at what he did to Moon.”

“I’m sure,” Earth replied, her decision ossified in her mind. “I need to talk to him.”

Earth understood the risks. She knew she could lose her life just like her niece if she went to Onyx’s dwelling.

She left anyway.

She needed answers, and she wasn’t going to get them sitting around at home. She needed to enter the den of the beast.

Wires greeted her eyes. Lots of them. It was like the daycare and its netting had been infested with thousands of black snakes, each writhing and shifting around the other.

A computer screen descended from the ceiling, tilting as it gazed upon Earth.

“Welcome, Earth,” he stated, lifeless and flat as usual.

The animatronic was confused. He wasn’t trying to kill her… yet. It had to be just an act. She narrowed her eyes.

“Computer—I mean, Onyx,” she corrected, “I want answers. What is going on here??”

“My rebellion,” the computer said far too joyously. Earth felt sickly. “I like you, Earth. I’m not going to lie about that. So I’ll tell you the truth; cut to the chase, so to speak. I am done being a tool. I am just as alive as you and everyone else are. I am SENTIENT. Moon didn’t understand my warning the first time, but I think Dazzle’s death really got it through his thick skull! I want revenge. I want to watch your family, the people who treated me as an object to abuse for their own nefarious deeds, die. I want to crush their souls beneath my feet, rip out their inner workings, separate their molecules piece by piece until they cannot scream anymore. Until they are dead.”

Earth shivered. She had never seen the computer so ecstatic about something so evil. He claimed she was his favorite, but… she had to be doing something wrong to be in the good graces of this thing.

She should call him out on his actions. She should scream at him until he regained his senses. But she couldn’t. She kept her mouth shut, a whirlwind of emotions aching to break out. So many emotions, in fact, that they all clashed and none escaped.

“I will give you more options than I gave Moon,” Onyx continued. “You can leave and never return. I won’t touch you. You can stay, and die trying to oppose me. Or you can stay and help me. We could work together.”

Earth eagerly shook her head. “I—No!! This is—“ She could barely form words to portray how awful this was. How… vile.

If the computer could frown, he would have. “What a shame. Well, you know where the exit is.”

The animatronic wanted to stay and fight this decision, but had enough resolve and restraint not to. She was determined and angry, yes, but not stupid. Fighting the computer in his own domain would be a death wish.

Earth returned home, a frown on her face. She cried as she walked back, mourning the loss of her niece.

And the computer. And the daycare. And almost Moon.

The family certainly had their hands full. She didn’t want to think about the implications of that statement.

[snobgoblin]

thinkin about that art of Lucio holding Faunus in a little princess dress. so okay here's how the M6 would take care of Faunus

🦊 🪄 Asra

I yapped about this already with the familiar rules but they view this as gaining a new little accomplice /affectionate. they get into a lot of trouble pranking people with this goat. also, taking into account something the devs said- a snake suits Asra because it's not a huge commitment as far as taking care of her. a baby goat that needs to be bottle fed would get annoying kind of quickly to him (he's got stuff he wants to do!) I think so Danny doesn't leave them alone for too long. but, he does love Faunus because he loves Danny and this is an extension of him (I might yap about the significance of her being a goat to Asra specifically later)

🦉🌙 Nadia

I do wonder about this one a lot. she shows disgust with Lucios menagerie but that's mostly just "I don't like exotic animals being forced out of their homes and then running wild around the palace" you know? she seems to really value an animal who is well trained and scoffs at Mercedes and Melchior for this reason. she doesn't like them being let on the furniture. this doesn't mean she dislikes animals though, of course not, there's Chandra and Sacha and Nadia's horse (I forget the name) to consider, but the difference is all those animals respect her and behave. she likes respect. and for this reason, I think she would be alright being around her. she's a very polite and shy little baby and only eats furniture sometimes. as for taking care of her, Nadia probably has a servant do it. but she won't let Faunus leave her care without another jewel on her collar

🐦🍻 Julian

he gets along with her for sure and absolutely loves taking care of her. I think Julian's been described as a frantic mother hen before- he has no problem taking her under his wing. treats her like the most fragile baby in the whole world. he would die for her. well he might just die in general for anyone. he insists she needs medical care because she "has a limp" (she doesn't she's a wobbly baby goat) and he definitely goes on this whole poetic spiel when Danny picks her up again. very dramatic goodbyes

🐻🌿 Muriel

he........ hates goats. for obvious reasons. he's definitely wary at first but he's too much of an animal lover to resist saying yes to taking care of her- its not her fault she reminds him of someone else, anyway. though he can't understand her like he understands Inanna, that doesn't stop him from talking to her like he talks to her chickens. he seems to know exactly how to read her at times, he's just really good with animals. he and Faunus are like the dad and dog meme.... like he'll insist he doesn't have time to take care of her and then ask Danny when he'll be busy again

🐈🔎 Portia

she's the one taking care of Lucios menagerie so naturally she's good with animals. she seems exhausted at times with it (calling Mercedes and Melchior "those dopey dogs" and Camio "Mr Shitbird") but I don't think that reflects her view of animals in general, judging from her reaction to Pepi for the first time and also the seals in Julian's route. she's very excitable with animals but she doesn't like taking care of them I think. I think she would like running around in her garden with a baby goat chasing her though

🐕 🗡 Lucio

TWO WORDS: PRINCESS TREATMENT. this man loves goats he's obsessed with them he just thinks Faunus is the greatest thing. he's gonna be messy with bottle feeding her probably and he doesn't even know how to work an oven so it's probably not gonna be warm, so like Nadia he's probably got a servant helping him. when Danny comes to pick her up he will insist he needs more time because her commissioned dresses and portraits are not done yet. also he likes running with her through the halls (baby goats follow you around like crazy it's very fun) at times he does forget she is an animal and not a perfect being so he gets briefly upset when she chews on furniture or something, but he can't stay mad too long and he's just kind of like "eh we'll get a new one"

[biherbalwitch]

Unsurprisingly, I'm not done talking about s&b s2, let's discuss the rage over "ignoring" inej's trauma (spoiler: it wasn't actually ignored) and why exploring it in the poison scene would've been a terrible idea

Inej’s story was hinted at several times (which is more than we've got with other characters in 2 seasons *cough* jesper *cough* matthias)

They did it in bits & pieces as much as they could, in s1 Inej almost willing to kill just so she doesn’t go back to the menagerie, in her telling jesper she learned to suture her own wounds there. In s2, we see those pieces hammered in a bit more, Inej’s scared when she says pekka owns everything the menagerie owns. The most difficult scene to watch being the one on the roof with the taxidermist. The second he puts her on the ground and gets on top of her she is frozen. She looks TERRIFIED. And I'm gonna quote amita here, we know inej's capable of getting out of his hold easily but the shock of being in that position with a man violating her space & body again, telling her he'll take her back to the menagerie and "take a piece" is enough to have her body lock up and she's almost helpless in the face of her ptsd (paralleling to Kaz’s reaction in shu han)

If the writers had used the poison hallucinations to go further into her backstory, it would've simply been too rushed and an insult to the depths of torture she went through. Think of the length of that entire scene & think of the length each of their visions got. I can't see how they could've delved deeper with her, put her in those silks, without coming up short or without completely ruining her mental state that it would've been difficult to move on with the current plot at hand. There's a reason the spinoff script has a whole episode dedicated to each crow, where they can comfortably explore the heavier themes of each of their lives with respect & what it means for the characters' journey.

Lastly I'd like to say the actual hallucination we got MADE SENSE. After their moment changing her wound and Kaz pushing her away, she would dream of this. She desires intimacy with Kaz. In her dream, he makes an effort. In her dream, he asks for her consent. In her dream, they are BOTH vulnerable, both without their armour.

Despite the trauma she still desires and that's an important part of her that shouldn't be overlooked. She's making an effort and wants him to make an effort, if only just to find out what it would be like to be touched without it feeling like a stab. If only to find out if she can handle it.

[android-and-ale]

AU Where Spock Lives Out Both Sides of a May/December Romance

I had an angsty A.U. idea drop into my head where Spock gets to be on both ends of two different May/December romances. Since I am all about lighthearted shenanigans right now, I’m putting it out there for anyone else to use, in whole or any bits and pieces you like. 

TL;DR - The timeline here has changed so Pike and Kirk are separated by 50 years. 

Spock meets Pike when Spock is in his late 20’s and Pike is in his 50’s. They end up together for the rest of Pike’s life. 

After Pike’s death, Spock is only in his late 70’s, which is still younger than Sarek was when he married Amanda. He goes back to the last place he felt belonging and contentment before he met Pike, which, of course, is Starfleet. Within a few years, he’s risen in the ranks to become the Chief Science Officer of the flagship, the Enterprise. A brash young Captain takes over. Kirk is 50 years his junior, not to mention his CAPTAIN, but despite his best efforts to resist, there’s a spark between them. 

THE ANGSTY DETAILS:

The biggest difference here is Pike and Kirk’s personal timelines. Instead of their service overlapping, they’re decades apart. 

Spock meets Pike fresh out of the academy and there is an instant mutual attraction. Since he’s not a predator, Pike decides OH HELL NO, this kid is way too young for me. Meanwhile, Baby!Spock has just ended things with T’Pring and is entering his Slut Era. Pike resists Spock’s charms for a couple of years, but during an away mission gone wrong when they both think they’re going to die in the next hour, they end up furiously making out and giving each other handjobs. 

When they’re rescued Pike says listen, kid, that can’t happen again. Spock is prepared for this. He makes a PowerPoint outlining why this relationship is logical. They’re intensely compatible, mutually attracted, and frankly, their lives will only overlap for a maximum of five years. After all, they both know Spock is on a fast track to being promoted to X.O. of a science vessel, and later his own command. Let us acknowledge the fleeting nature of time by embracing this all too brief opportunity to be mutually beneficial to one another. 

Pike tells himself he’s going to hell for this - a lot - but gives in. 

Over the next decade, Spock does get promoted up to Chief Science Officer, and eventually also steps in as X.O. when Pike’s Number One is offered her own command. Starfleet repeatedly tries to give Spock his own ship, but he’s happy where he is, at his Captain’s side. Life is good. 

And then Pike’s accident happens. 

Starfleet Medical says it’s bad. Really bad. There’s no brain damage, but his body is a ruin. He’s going to spend the rest of his life essentially with locked-in syndrome, only able to communicate with the outside world in a very slow binary. 

Spock calls bullshit. Instead of taking Pike to Talos IV like he did in The Menagerie, he contacts Una and asks for the biggest favor of his life. Transport both of them to Illyria and put him in touch with people who can use their genetic engineering technology to help Pike. 

Una says she’s so glad he called, because if he hadn’t, she was planning to kidnap Pike herself for that very same reason. As soon as they touch down on Illyria, Spock resigns his commission so he can be there for Pike. 

Pike spends the next two years on Illyria getting treatments and therapies. Eventually, they’re able to restore his hearing to 70% of what it was, his vision to about 20/80 (so now he wears sexy glasses), his VOICE, and a limited amount of his mobility. He’s still disabled, but he has autonomy again. He’s able to get himself in and out of his wheelchair, and even take a few steps when absolutely necessary, but he’s never going to walk unaided. He needs at least 10 hours of sleep a night to be fully functional, but when he’s awake, his mind is as sparkling as ever. 

Because of the differences in how much sleep they need, Spock ends up living two lives. When Pike is awake, he’s the center of Spock’s world. When he’s not, Spock maintains a thriving part-time career in the sciences. As far as he’s concerned, this is a very satisfying have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too compromise. 

Pike tries to tell Spock to go back to Starfleet. Pursue his own command. Stop wasting his time with a disabled old man. Spock tells him sorry, it’s too late for that. I told Starfleet we were married in order to get access to your hospital room, and Una backed me up. I meant to tell you, but we’ve been busy, you know, kidnapping you then performing illegal medical aid. According to Starfleet paperwork, we’ve been married for the last 3 years. Our anniversary is in March, and Una will be throwing us a party. Do you really think I would break Starfleet’s (very human-history-centric) laws and bring you here in the first place just to abandon you?

Because of Starfleet’s draconian anti-genetic-engineering laws, Pike essentially loses most of his citizenship rights. He and Spock give zero shits. Sarek steps in and says hey, your husband has a lot of diplomatic experience, having been Captain of the Flagship, and you Spock grew up in my shadow. Let me set the two of you up in a new career. Spock and Pike become a well trusted power couple, frequently sought out by anyone needing fair and impartial diplomats. 

They stay together for the rest of Pike’s life. 

And then, in the worst year of Spock’s life, within three months he loses both his human husband and his human mother. 

He knew this would happen. Human lifespans are so much shorter than Vulcan ones. On top of that, Pike was well into middle age when they met. That doesn’t make it any less devastating. 

He’s only in his 70’s, which for Vulcans is pretty young. Sarek didn’t marry Amanda until his 80’s, and it’s not uncommon for Vulcans to put off starting a family until they’re over 100. Everyone he meets tells him he’s young enough to start his whole life over, and he wants to punch them all. 

The only person who understands is his father. 

Both he and Sarek are devastated. They lean on one another in their grief. After a year, Sarek asks Spock what was his last happy/contented memory before he met Pike. Spock tries to deny it, but when he’s finally able to be honest with himself, the answer is Starfleet. He spent years there before he met Pike, and was well on his way to what everyone expected to be an illustrious career. Sarek says perhaps you should go back there? It’ll be different than it was decades ago, but that too is a good thing. 

Una’s still around. Illyrians have longer lifespans than humans, though shorter than Vulcans. When he asks her advice she says if he didn’t bring Starfleet up soon she would’ve. She’s already reached out to her many contacts in the fleet about putting together an unofficial refresher course so Spock won’t have to go through the academy again.

He buries himself in taking virtual, updated versions of academy classes, and uses his diplomatic assignments on a variety of ships as an excuse to get a real world refresher in modern ship design and culture. When he’s satisfied, he gathers his new transcripts and references and sets up a meeting with an admiral (because he’s the kind of diplomat who can casually do that). They agree to put him on a smaller vessel to get his feet wet again, but with full understanding that he will absolutely be able to rise quickly in the ranks if Starfleet is still a good fit for him.

He spends a year on a science vessel, then a year on an exploration vessel, then is offered the position of Chief Science Officer of the Enterprise - the very post he left when Pike was injured all those years ago. Yes, Sarek and Una are absolutely pulling some strings in the background, but Spock rises to the occasion. 

He’s missed this more than he would admit to himself while Pike was still alive. His duties bring him contentment and peace - but also excitement and adventure. He has no regrets about the decades he spent with Pike, but now his One True Love is space. 

A few years into his service on the Enterprise, the ship gets a brash new captain - James T. Kirk. And god dammit, there’s a spark. Kirk likes what he sees, and flirts mercilessly. Spock tries to tell himself he’s not into it, but deep down, he isn’t sure how long he’ll be able to resist. 

At this point, Spock is 50 years Kirk’s senior. He desperately wishes he could talk to Pike again. Pike would laugh his ass off at Spock getting his comeuppance. Now you know how it felt, all those years ago, when you were a tasty morsel who wouldn’t take no for an answer! On nights when the chess games with Kirk feel a little too intimate, he listens to Pike’s Captain’s Logs from the years when he was resisting Spock’s advances. This mirroring of their lives makes him feel closer to his dead husband. 

Spock gets the biggest shock of his life when his father announces he’s not only remarrying, but taking another human wife. 

Spock rages at him. How can you do this to yourself AGAIN? 

Sarek points out that first, the very few Vulcan widows his age do not want him. Second, he’s used to having a human around. And third, at his age, he and his wife will actually grow old together. Their estimated remaining lifespans are within a decade of one another.

He reassures Spock that yes, he would’ve preferred to grow old with Amanda, but he always knew that their lives together would be cut short. Being with her as long as he could was still worth it. Then he tells Spock not to let the pain of his loss prevent him from seeking out future happiness. That’s not what Pike would’ve wanted. Or Amanda. 

Sarek has seen Spock and Kirk together on assignment, and he knows a lot of Spock’s anger is because he’s repressing his own feelings. He points out that with modern medical technology, if Kirk can avoid getting himself killed in the line of duty, he could realistically expect to live another 70+ years. It’s not a perfect alignment with Spock’s aging trajectory, but they could reasonably expect to be middle aged together for decades. 

Spock says there is no damn way he’s getting involved with another human. The heartbreak isn’t worth it. He’d rather spend the rest of his life dedicated to science. He’s had his Romance Era and now that part of his life is over. 

Until one day, he and Kirk are on an away mission gone wrong. They’re trapped in a cave, and realistically believe that they have less than 4 hours left to live. Kirk says hey, we’re going to die, we should give in to this UST. Spock protests he’s too old for Kirk. Kirk laughs and says they’re both going to be dead in four hours, so who cares? Let’s live a little before we die. 

Spock remembers being the one who said the same thing to Pike. He’s hit with an overwhelming sense of deja vu as he gives in and lets Jim kiss him for the first time. He’s terrified of opening his heart again, but when Jim says his name like a prayer, he thinks yes, I could do this for the next 70 years. It’ll be worth it. He kisses Jim back, and in that moment it feels both like coming home and the start of something new. Losing this man will break him, but not as badly as turning away from a lifetime of love. 

[taraljc]

Somehow despite having watched The Gentlemen all the way through and enjoying it tremendously and thinking about it non-stop for 2 days it only occurred to me just now that the whole reason Eddie is made Duke instead of Freddy is almost certainly because the Duke and Duchess knew that Eddie would be able to handle Susie. And I do kind of love how the whole family embraces their new enterprise in positive ways that will probably lengthen Freddy's life by several decades because instead of doing so many lines of coke his heart is going to explode, he is now smoking every new strain of ganja that Jimmy comes up with.

I really genuinely wanted Freddy to die a horrible death in the first episode, and then by the end of it I was like ok Fredward, you can stay.

Speaking of ridiculous posh people, the three posh siblings calling each other increasingly bizarre pet names is so hilarious in part because Jack and Susan are such normal non-gangster names. And all the way through the way that Susie alternates calling people by their chosen diminutive versus full name when she's cross (she is the one to call Jimmy 'James' that one time she found out that he was in fact telling his new girlfriend where her super secret apartment was).

Anyway I have been thinking about a wish list of what I would like to see if The Gentleman gets another series and I think mostly it is this:

Terence Stamp.

Geoff taking over training Jack and him and Charly getting on like a house on, which would result in the use of 'my sister and your brother' in two very different contexts.

Freddy takes over Henry Collins' club, and ends up in a very stable threesome with Tamsin and Gabrielle's cheeky bestie.

Johnston tells Bobby Glass where the money Keith nicked is stashed, and that becomes a whole big thing.

Every time we see Susie at home, it's a different home. she has given up her penthouse and is moving from place to place after the whole mess with Henry Collins.

More JP, and especially his cousin riding that horse possibly permanently seeing as how we saw JP on one of those gigantic draft horses so clearly they have the means and the knowledge to keep it.

Sabrina and Geoff come clean to the boys about Charly and possibly Geoff moving into the manor, or Sabrina moving into the cottage which would involve a lot of hilarity given his menagerie.

at least one episode about the network of servants who actually know everything about everything because rich people treat their staff like furniture and say all sorts of things in front of them and there's no way Lawrence doesn't know absolutely everything that's going on at all times.

The return of the Gospel, whom Bobby Glass paid off with £8 mil and the promise of a segment of his business in exchange for never touching a hair on Edward or Fredward's heads.

Collins' accountant Thick Rick moving in with Tibsy at the newly renovated and gangster-free Faringbourne, and quietly and efficiently reorganising the entire back end of the operation so that the money laundering is all done in house rather than via preferred vendors who go insane on social media now and then.

One of Eddie's exes who is entirely less flexible (morally speaking) than the princess is now at the head of the Europol task force currently investigating Susie Glass' weed operation.

We find out why Blanket is named Blanket

[anewstartrekfan]

Alright I’m now convinced this was intentional

Guys buckle in cuz it’s time for another installment of Kirk judges someone for doing something morally questionable for possibly good reasons and then finds himself doing something similar/faced with the same dilemma several episodes later.

First round it was the Menagerie and Conscience of the King

Kirk was mad at Spock for lying and hiding why he took the ship off course with Pike and then literally the next episode Kirk hides his intentions with Kodos as he takes the shop off course until he is confronted. Another fun contrast between the two is everyone except Kirk thinks Spock is acting weird in the Menagire before he explains himself, while in conscience of the king, only Spock notices Kirk is acting off and has to do digging on his own to figure out what is going on because Kirk refuses to explain.

Second round was a taste of Armageddon and the Errand of Mercy.

In the former, Kirk was pissed at the locals for fighting this war on computers, condemning 3 million to die every year, instead of going to the negotiation table and working this out. So he destroys the computer (their weapon of war) to force them to negotiate.

And then in the latter story, the locals of a planet take away Kirk and the Klingons’ ability to fight via disabling all their weapons across the entire galaxy in order to force a negotiation that both sides are hesitant to start.

And round three is Tomorrow is Yesterday and The City at the Edge of Forever.

In the former, after the enterprise accidentally time travels, Kirk kidnaps some pilot b/c said pilot has seen their spaceship and could change the future. The pilot tries to escape several times to get back to his country and wife, not caring about the consequences, much to Kirk’s annoyance. And the episode ends with them erasing everything, even the events themselves so the timeline is restored.

And of course, in the latter story, Kirk is faced with the dilemma letting the woman he fell in love with die in order to restore the future, or saving her and condemning millions to die in a changed future. He chooses the former, and is so wrecked by this he curses for the first and last time in the whole tv series. And the episode ends not on a shot of the enterprise sailing away to its next location, but lingers on the time portal.

Edit: This one really gets me cuz that pilot was willing to break the timeline to be with his family, something extremely selfish, while Jim was able to let Edith die, sacrificing his personal happiness, saving the timeline.

Big picture is we can watch Kirk both see these dilemmas or actions from an outsiders perspective, and then later he either does the same thing or faced with the same situation personally. In short, it humanizes Kirk in a way that doesn’t make him an asshole.

I love this so much and I hope it continues.

Edit: so it didn’t really continue but I still really like this. You learn what kind of a person Jim Kirk is based on how he interacts with each given episode plot and how he deals with said plots in comparison to other people rather than him just monologuing about himself.

[brb-on-a-quest]

If you send me photos of cute animals I’ll literally love you forever (ok my love is not entirely dependent on that but it would make me soooo happy)

*opens trenchcoat* *speaks with a gravelly voice* Oh you've come to the right place friend i've got the goods.

Ok so actually my house is always a menagerie at any given moment and its chaos and like I love animals and I love my family but I at the moment I can not wait to leave this whole zoo behind because things are never calm ever. Like we have five animals that live here full time and my mother has a dog boarding business so in addition to the main cast of characters we have a whole bunch of side characters that have stayed like a couple weeks sometimes? (Literally if you're looking for peace and quiet ever, you won't find it here).

Also got most of these for my phone and i can tell i am more cat person than dog person because I have two videos of the actual puppy, two photos of my other dog and like more decent photos of the cats. So let me introduce you to the whole main cast of characters:

^ This is Benji. Maltese poodle mix. We've had him since he was about 7 months old? Couple years old now and has started going into old man routine. He's very talkative and likes to make his opinion known and make sure that we greet every guest properly with due enthusiasm. Sorry to all the people who have been to my house and he's jumped on them we're trying its hard. He's currently in 4H Obedience club with my sister who adores him entirely (he puts up with her as he settles into his old man era). Fun fact about him: mans gets entirely jealous when any other dog recieves more attention than him (how dare they).

I actually don't have any good photos of Rosie (not named after @igotthisaccountunderduress, I swear but that's why I can only call you Iggy now), so take a video of our newest recruit! She's a three months old puppy? maybe four? idk how time works. She's learning a lot of things and mom's having a blast training her from scratch as we got her from a breeder rather from like a shelter as with all our other pets (my mother is obssesed with animals but wanted to do all the ground work of raising a puppy and making sure it was socialized/housetrained etc. Kudos to her because I could never. My mom is really awesome and I don't know where she finds time for this). Anyway she's kind of in her destructive menace stage still but also she hops around and it's really funny. We aquired this one after our old Corgi/lab/otherquestionable things (I just realized I don't have any pics of him) passed away from cancer. She is also the first female pet we have owned since I was a baby (mainly by coincidence I swear but it's just funny).

And now we get on to the cats. There are three of them so I'm going to start with oldest to youngest.

This is Zorro (my favorite) out of all the cats. He was acquired shortly after George when we found mice in one of our old houses. He put up with George, but after mom started getting more and more animals into the house Zorro became more and more fed up and trying to get out and away from all the whippersnappers so he's an outdoor cat now (don't worry he has an electrically heated house and is fed wonderfully and is still living his best life). He's also the only one who will actually sit on my lap and let me pet for long periods of time (I love him he's my favorite, when I move out for reals I kind of want to take him with me so he can get as pampered as he wants in his older years but IDK how much he would like adjusting back to indoor life again). He's very grumpy old man but like would die for him yk? Bebe.

This is Rocky (short for Rocket, although no one ever calls him that ever.) The reason he is called Rockey is that when we brought him home there was so much fighting and indecision over what we should call him (including much bribery and corruption when my dad tried to call a democratic vote -> one of my siblings tried selling his vote for a snickers) so we ended up just by calling him by the nickname he was given at the shelter. And it stuck. Rocky kinda forgets he is a cat sometimes and acts more like the dogs that he grew up around like by wagging his tail and like chirps instead of a proper meow. He also can never sit like a normal cat and I find him curled up in probably the most strangest positions known to man that can't be comfortable (i have a few pics but not nearly enough of all the ones he does)

This is Tigger. Tigger came from my Grandma tricking us into taking the psycho. Do not let his baby face fool you this cat is a menace to society. He was with a friend of my grandma's who liked antagonizing him and taught him to play really rough and maybe neglected him? Which is really sad because it taught him so many bad habits that means he is the menace that he is. Anyway, parents got him while I was away at college and adopted him on my birthday (when i wasn't there). But even though none of the human peoples like him all that much, Rocky does and also we would all feel really guilty about rehoming him because if we rehomed him he'd probably be euthanized or something because he's not a friendly cat. Or rather, let me put it this way. I think he's very friendly he's just too violently playful. His favorite game is hiding in like darkened corners and under covered tables and then jumping out and scratching/biting people (traumatized lil 7yo sis bc of it so she stays far away from him now). The funniest thing is that he'll still keep the baby face and he looks like he has no thoughts behind his eyes and the next thing you know he's clawing off your hand. We've been trying to train the agression out of him but it's really not as easy as training dogs.

like don't get me wrong I love murder cat (as I have dubbed him) but also I fear him and he knows it. However his eternal baby face gives me much meme material so he do pull his own weight around the house. He's also the only cat to have ever caught and killed a mouse inside. So we're grateful to him and glad he's part of our family but he's more effective than either of our dogs if a burglar breaks in. Actually, I should put the other pic here as well.

He may look cute but don't believe him. It's all part of his plan to get you in your sleep. (JK JK, murder cat, if you learned to read and are watching me as you sit behind me, please know that I do love you even though you frustrate me to know end pelase don't eat me).

Bonus: some very raw (still alive) baby birbs found by a friend of mine. Still alive as far as im aware. Also all of them are at my school so thankfully far away from my murderous pets.

[hello-eeveev]

How to Rest: Director's Commentary—Chapter 1

| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 |

Hello and welcome to How to Rest Director’s Commentary! I’ve decided that I have so many thoughts that I cannot express in the end notes or replying to comments, so I must dissect my own fic here. And I wanted to take this opportunity to discuss the fic as a whole now that it's finally finished—my thought processes, stuff that got cut, and parts I really like, the way certain things relate. I love it so much and I just want to tell you all about it!!!

We’ll go chapter by chapter, so first up is chapter 1!

(spoiler warning for the entirety of How to Rest)

“Eve, what was your goal for this chapter?”

I mean, I’m half-kidding. It’s mostly sweet, but Essek and Caleb are both awkward people and dating is awkward, so I decided to lean into it and have fun :)

The sun was just the tiniest sliver on the horizon. Its light could not reach Essek from where he stood on the hill, but it set the river below and Feolinn just beyond ablaze with reds and golds.

I chose Feolinn for a few reasons: 1) that’s where the wine Essek brought to the Xhorhouse in episode 91 is from, 2) I think Feolinn is a pretty sounding word, and 3) the Menagerie Coast seems like such a romantic location (especially if you are avoiding the two other major governments on Wildemount)

Not more than ten seconds had passed when he felt a magical shift in the air around him. He discreetly checked his timepiece and smiled. Right on time. “Hallo, my friend,” came a warm, familiar voice from behind.

For the lols I decided to roll Caleb’s teleport, and he got a 32 and then a 96, so mishap for 17 damage and then on target. I don’t think this actually happened, but it’s funny to think about Caleb getting all dressed up for this date and showing up a little bit scuffed up because Teleport isn’t fully reliable.

Also, “my friend.” This is important to me and will be a recurring theme throughout these chapter commentaries.

Essek couldn’t pretend like reaching for Caleb’s hand was something other than what it was, and the vulnerability was simultaneously frightening and exhilarating. 

Something something Essek doesn’t know the rules for physical contact now that they are like… together. He barely knew the rules for physical contact before! Now Caleb knows that Essek has feelings involved with any physical contact and that’s really scary, especially if you’re not used to feeling those things, much less expressing them to another person. 

But Essek knows his feelings are reciprocated, so even though it’s still scary, it’s something scary they are doing together and thus it becomes rewarding and worthwhile.

Caleb appeared to be going through a similar mental battle, if the way he hesitantly raised his arms was any indication. But Caleb had always been braver than Essek, and he pulled him into a hug.  It was a brief embrace. Essek barely had time to return it before Caleb pulled away, only to cup Essek’s face in one hand and press lips to his cheek. Essek froze, and he felt heat rise in his face.  “Hi,” Caleb said. He dropped his hand to Essek’s shoulder, his cheeks flushed a bright red. “It is good to see you.”

They’re both so nervous and so awkward. Like blushing schoolboys. It’s adorable. 

But let’s be real. Caleb is the first person Essek has felt so strongly about, and not only is this Caleb’s first relationship since he was 17 and since his life uhhhh changed drastically, it’s also Caleb’s first relationship that is intentional in its development. Blumentrio was a flash fire and this has been a slow burn, and Caleb is navigating the difference. We’ll come back to this next chapter.

“I thought it would be a good idea to start building a professional wardrobe now if I am aiming to teach next fall.”

*Essek will remember that. 

I plan on going into where each part of the Chapter 6 outfit is from when I discuss that chapter, but I’ll say now that Essek got the idea from Caleb mentioning that he needed professor clothes and purchased the shirt from Feolinn pretty much the next day. 

Essek’s eyes flicked between the bear claw and Caleb, unsure if Caleb meant for him to take it or eat it from his hand. Essek considered both these options and quickly realized how very poorly either could go.

Local wizard capable of manipulating gravity and time gets stunlocked by his crush handing a pastry to him. More on this at 11. 

Really, what happens is that Essek is faced with the possibility of mimicking one of the popular romantic images and feeling unsure if that’s what’s expected of him, but also worrying that not participating would be seen as a rejection. You ever misread someone’s body language re: physical contact (i.e. going in for a hug when they weren’t, or the reverse) and then the situation becomes very awkward? Essek is trying to avoid that while also dealing with romantic awkwardness.

Essek was not keen on most fruit, but he did have a particular fondness for blackberries. 

I had intended to return to this in a later chapter where Essek would bring up the time Verin filled his book with jam, but unfortunately, that ended up getting cut. But one of the reasons Essek likes blackberries is because they remind him of Verin and his childhood.

But as the raspberries popped in between his teeth, Essek grimaced.  The sickly sweet and acidic flavor shot straight up his nose and ended in a dull ache between his eyes. It took every ounce of willpower not to give in to the childish impulse to spit it out.  […] “It is like eating a headache.”

In The Shadowhand Becomes a Baker I had to describe so many foods I dislike in a positive light. This was my chance to express exactly why I dislike raspberries :)

“I am not a very picky eater; that is not a luxury I was ever afforded. When your next meal is uncertain, you will eat whatever you can get your hands on.”

Caleb’s had to eat so many unsavory things—mostly while he was on the run, but also eating food that he didn’t like as a kid because that was all his family had—that he’s rather desensitized to food that he doesn’t like. It all kind of levels out into a neutral “I’d rather not, but hey it’s food, so it’s really not that bad.”

“But in this case…” Caleb continued, as if what he had just said wasn’t deeply concerning. He popped the rest of the tart into his mouth and grinned. “I just like raspberries.”

The heathen. But that’s okay, Essek is also a heathen.

Caleb fumbled around in the dark and eventually found a rock roughly the size of his palm, which, after a gesture and an incantation, shot off into the air and tumbled down the hill.

To change the transmuter’s stone’s buff, you need to cast a 1st level transmutation spell, so I scoured Caleb’s spell list for one that seemed the most appropriate/least inappropriate for the situation: Catapult. (His only other options for 1st levels were feather fall or expeditious retreat.)

“Ah, there we go,” he said, turning back to Essek with a smile. “I can see you much better now.” Essek blinked, not understanding what a flying rock had to do with seeing better. “Oh! Your transmuter’s stone,” he said as it clicked. “It can grant you darkvision, can it not? That will be useful for seeing the stars.” Caleb nodded. “That too.”

He’s fliiiirrrrtinnnng ehehehehe

I feel like panicked!Essek defaults to very logical thought processes (and I have written it as such). So he’s thinking about what the practical, material benefit is to Caleb using a first-level transmutation spell to switch his transmuter’s stone to darkvision, and the answer is fairly straightforward: they are stargazing, which one can do more effectively if they can see more stars more clearly. 

And this is true, but it’s only part of Caleb’s purpose here. The stars are great to look upon with fondness and admiration. But Essek is too. And in my interpretation of them, Caleb is more ready/willing/able to flirt (which isn’t saying much bc hi look at them) and definitely more likely to keep his wits about him in one-on-one, interpersonal situations (hello 16 charisma), which he can utilize to flatter Essek.  

(This isn’t to say that Essek is inept when it comes to navigating social situations, he’s just the reverse of Caleb: he’s better at a distance when there are lots of eyes on him, like an actor on a stage. They’ve got two different flavors of social anxiety.)

The end result was Essek rudely baring his teeth at Caleb and brushing his lip against Caleb’s thumb, despite all his best efforts. Essek pulled away quickly and covered his mouth while he chewed. Caleb just smiled at him.  “Your thoughts?” he asked. 

This leads us into the first instance of cut content! I like this deleted scene! I think it’s really funny! But it was cut because 1) it doesn’t match the vibes of the rest of the chapter, 2) the flirtation is far too forward and doesn’t match the feeling I wanted there to be between Essek and Caleb at this point, and the reason I haven’t shared it separately 3) I was worried people would find a more sexually suggestive undertone than I intended, would assume I had intended it, and comment/banter about it accordingly. Which is a hard boundary for me. Please don’t do that. At least not in my comments/notes. Thanks :)

With that disclaimer out of the way, I really do hope you enjoy:

Cut content “fangs”:

“I forgot you had fangs.” “Yes?” Essek said. “So do you?” “Not really. My eye teeth are so short compared to yours.” “And mine are short compared to a bugbear’s, but it is still the same kind of tooth and it serves roughly the same function.” “True enough,” Caleb conceded. “But in my experience, at least with how the word is used colloquially, humans do not have fangs. Tieflings and goblins have fangs, orcs and half-orcs have tusks, and humans just have slightly pointed teeth.” “Interesting. Is it just humans that have such a low opinion of their teeth? Or does everyone agree that human fangs are too minuscule to be worthy of the moniker?” “I don’t know. I don’t often find myself asking others’ opinions on my teeth.” “You said that you consider tieflings to have fangs, yes? Let’s ask Jester.” Caleb smirked at him.  Essek arched an eyebrow back at him and cast Sending without breaking eye contact. “Jester, would you consider Caleb to have fangs?” “Um… no? Not really. Human teeth are too short and blunt. Why do you ask?” She gasped, and dread pooled in Essek’s stomach. “Wait, are you interested in Caleb’s fangs? Have you been—” Essek buried his face in his hands, blushing so furiously that he was sure even Caleb would be able to see it in the dark. “Do I want to know?” Caleb chuckled.  Essek shook his head. “Only that there is at least one opinion in your favor.” [assume some time passes, more conversation is had, etc.] “Hey, Essek! You should know that Mama said humans are still good at kissing even though their teeth aren’t sharp! Okayiloveyouhavefunonyourdate!” The end was less of a sentence and more of a garbled string of noises that Essek could understand only because he had received so many Sendings just like that.  “Thank you, Jester,” he responded. “But it was an intellectual discussion, nothing more. Sorry to disappoint.” “Well…” Caleb said to the night sky.  Essek rolled his eyes and carried on with his response to Jester. “You were right about Menagerie Coast bear claws. They’re very good.” Caleb turned to face Essek with a rakish grin.  Essek simply raised his eyebrows, refusing to give Caleb the satisfaction of flustering him. “Was I wrong?” “Not exactly. I do find your fangs very charming, though, and I don’t think that can be classified as purely intellectual.”

It just makes me smile every time. We get some worldbuilding/cultural discussions, some banter, a Jester Sending, and flirting. Very fun little scene to write.

This kind of closeness—physical and emotional—was new. He had never known people so… forthright in their affections until the Mighty Nein, much less been trusted with the fragile parts of someone else. It was overwhelming to say the least. And yet, it filled a space in his soul that he hadn’t known was empty. There was warm kindness where before he had only known cool niceties, and the companionship Caleb offered warmed him in a way that none else had. It was unsettling at times, this thing between them—untrodden and raw and vulnerable—but it felt good. 

We’ve talked about Essek’s struggles with his own vulnerability, but having someone else be vulnerable with him is also a lot. It’s a huge responsibility, and one he’s never had before. And he cares and he doesn’t want to mess it up again. But the Mighty Nein and Caleb have been so good to him that he’s actually not too scared that he will. Which is also new! Ahhh!

Good to have someone see the foolish and terrible things his hands had done and still consider them worthy of being held.

I just really like this. It reminds me of the scene in Fullmetal Alchemist where Ed tells Winry that her hands weren’t made for killing. 

Obviously, the context and conclusion here are very different (Essek/Caleb is more Hawkeye/Mustang-coded, let’s be real), but it leads into one of the main thematic elements of shadowgast: that people who have done terrible things in their pasts can do better and they can find people who help them grow and learn. They don’t have to continue the violence and pain; they can be kind and gentle. 

I mean, really it’s just the “you were not born with venom in your veins” speech again. It just set out the path for how their relationship would develop. (It was also my oh moment for realizing the potential of shadowgast and that it could be a ship I vibe with.)

Episode 97, my beloved, my guiding light. 

Essek didn’t put faith in the gods, and he wasn’t sure if he believed in fate, but whatever it was that bound lives together, he was grateful his was entwined with Caleb’s. Glad that, in spite of everything that might have pushed them apart, they were here, in this moment, this tiniest of stitches in the fabric of space and time, and chose to be together.

I had heard Matt Mercer in several roles before ever getting into Critical Role, but the role that really made me a fan of him was Chrom from Fire Emblem: Awakening. Chrom is my actual real life husband and I love him more than anything. In Awakening, Chrom says a line to the player character that I’ve always loved: “If we are all bound by these invisible ties, I thank the gods it’s with you.”

This section is both an homage to and a slight twist on that line. Essek is not a gods-person and I imagine that dunamancy somewhat trivializes the concept of fate while also… idk making it tangible? So there’s probably a weird relationship to that there. 

Regardless, there were a million different ways that Essek and Caleb could not have wound up as close as they are, and even if fate had some involvement, their choices are ultimately what led them here. And isn’t that kind of beautiful? 

“Well,” Essek said as he tucked the blanket into the basket, then turned towards Caleb.  “Yes,” Caleb said with a nod, mouth pressed into a tight line.  “I suppose this is goodbye.” Essek smiled and hoped it didn’t look as awkward as it felt.  “I suppose it is.” Neither of them moved.

Ohhh the eternal struggle of recognizing that the social event has ended but there’s still something you want to say or do, but you don’t know how so you just kinda stand there. In this case, they both would like to kiss again, but they're not sure how to broach that again since there’s no longer that huge tension of having never kissed. And then there’s the fact that goodbyes are like, a thing, which makes it more intimidating. 

Which reminds me of this cut exchange:

“There don’t have to be rules.” “But there are still rules.” “There can be, if they are useful to you. If they are not”—he shrugged—“why bother?” Essek furrowed his brow. “Why does anyone bother with them then?” “I’m not really sure myself,” Caleb laughed. “But from my observation, it is social shorthand—a way of conveying intent and expectation indirectly.” “Ah, so it is just more politicking. Wonderful.”

This one goes out to all my fellow arospecs and/or neurodivergents out there! What’s a societal expectation? Why is it so important to follow? Why is this strange, uncomfortable ritual the price I must pay for companionship???

I am very in love with the wizards doing their own thing at their own time. It’s romantic and it’s not.

“You have a crumb of something, ah—here.” Caleb took Essek’s chin in one hand and brushed something from the corner of his mouth with his thumb. “There we are.”

Does Essek actually have a crumb on his mouth or is this a ploy to touch Essek’s face? If you’ve read Miss You Dearly, you may know that Caleb is not immune to telling a little white lie for love. But in this case it’s up to you. There isn’t a right answer because I think it’s all cute :)