monstersdownthepath

[monstersdownthepath]

So far sm Empyreal Lord I have I wanna have feedback on an ability for him.

A once a day 60 foot sphere that lasts for one minute.

It's called Send In The Clowns.

Just imagine, the Empyreal Lord snaps his fingers and suddenly,circus music begins playing and then the clowns arrive; robes/cloaks etc are lifted up as though the clowns were under it the whole time. Trees split open to have clowns pouring out like a clown car. A group 3 high on each other's shoulders emerges from under someone's hat. One pops up from the ground like he took that wrong turn at Albuquerque. Once they are assembled, the buffoonery begins. Allies have total concealment because of the clowny chaos, while enemies can't concentrate unless they're deaf because of the blaring music and have to make a reflex save to do any complex action like spellcasting,as to avoid pies to the face.

After the effect ends the clowns all burst in a spray of glitter so thick visibility becomes 0 for a round.

Too much?

------

[menacing honking growing closer and closer]

It's cute! Though you could probably get a lot of mileage out of modeling it more after Mad Monkeys.

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Fungal Crawler

CR 3

Neutral Small Aberration

Bestiary 2, pg. 127

These oversized cave crickets can be found just about anywhere in the caverns of the world, having spent countless years evolving in and adapting to just about every environment you can conceive of. The book gives us just a few samples of their most extreme adaptations: flying variants that flit about enormous underground pits, long-limbed variants that skate across subterranean lakes... and even fireproof variants that live comfortably in volcanic chambers! The key to their evolutionary triumphs lays in the fungal caps you see on their head; at first glance, one may believe the fungus to be the true mind in the vein of cordycepts, but the truth is that they're NOT two separate creatures living in symbiosis, but a full merge in the same vein as mitochondria and human cells, creating a single organism capable of truly impressive feats.

Fungal Crawlers are one of the many reasons carrion doesn't have long to fester in the underground, as they serve the same ecological niche in the Darklands as hyenas do on the surface, skeletonizing any carrion they detect but just as able hunt and kill smaller animals on their own, or take down larger prey items in packs up to 12 members strong. The book states that the Fungal Crawlers are the top of the bottom of the food chain, their hunting parties easily bullying other scavengers away from kills but falling swiftly to more determined predators, for which they make an especially tantalizing feast: crunchy insect with a delicious fungal center! All they have to get through is 16 AC and 25 hitpoints, which should be no problem for the many inhabitants of the Darklands, who have enough tricks to catch such a scrumptious little morsel off-guard and--

sorry, hold on, I just noticed there's nine entire words after "Immunities." Ah, well, that explains it! The reason Fungal Crawlers are so good at what they do is because of their Plant Defenses, their fungal body easily metabolizing the poisons that otherwise drip freely from the fangs of many Darklands residents (Crawlers themselves included!) and rendering them immune to an enormous amount of tricks other predatory species' possess: paralysis, sleep, and stunning. They're also, importantly, immune to mind-affecting effects (and less importantly, polymorphing), meaning no mystical lures draw them into danger or waiting maws, and no efforts to magically control or redirect them will work... and meaning that anyone hoping to domesticate these creatures has to do it the hard way. Such efforts often end in either frustration or tragedy, because while these things can be bribed with food, they cannot be trained, and will turn on their handlers the moment they feel endangered or simply too hungry.

Any creature attacked by a Fungal Crawler is taught a swift and painful lesson in underestimating even lowly Darklands wildlife, the beasts capable of taking down prey significantly larger than themselves so long as they initiate... and they probably will, considering their +9 to Initiative checks! A Fungal Crawler opens pretty much every battle with a Leap, this dangerous maneuver requiring them to succeed a DC 20 Acrobatics check during a charge attack (and with a +14 to such checks, they're very likely to succeed), but succeeding means they hop into the air and slam into their foes, making four claw attacks for 1d4+2 damage each for an opener that often shreds smaller prey to pieces. If more than one Fungal Crawler is in the battle, expect this to happen over and over again as each one charges one after another.

Once landed, Crawlers can only strike out with two of their claws at once as part of a Full-Attack for 1d4+2 damage each, but they also put their bite to work for an extra 1d6+2 damage. Crawlers have trouble digesting solid meals so they inject a caustic poison into their meals to reduce it to an easily-slurped slurry; this poison has its uses against prey that's still alive, dealing 1d2 Str and Con damage a round for up to 4 rounds to anything that fails a DC 14 Fortitude save. The venom of a single Crawler isn't likely to have a big impact on a party--especially since it's purged from the system after a single successful save--but, again, they hunt in packs, potentially melting through even the tankiest Fighters in short order.

Thankfully, though Crawlers have numerous defenses against magical muckery, they're still vulnerable to being smashed to a paste. They're just as vulnerable as any bug to being critically hit, flanked, or pulled apart by precision damage, and their formidable offense drops off quite suddenly after the first round when they can no longer make use of their dangerous Leap to deal 4d6+8 damage (and potentially more via critical hits). Their poison is more of an annoyance than a danger, even at this low of a level, and only elevates to an actual threat if there's more than one in the fight. Even then, killing just one or two Crawlers in a swarm of them will likely cause the rest to scatter; they're scavengers, after all, and are perfectly happy fleeing a party that overwhelms them and returning later to eat the bodies of their fallen kin rather than risking the colony.

Hell, they may actually follow in the wake of the party, entire packs feasting merrily on the trail of corpses and becoming a danger if the players have to turn back around for any reason! If the party shows any weakness or indication that they may be easy prey--and depending on why they're turning and running back the way they came, this is probably true!--they may find themselves suddenly charged at and shredded by the claws of these gigantic, hungry crickets.

You can read more about them here.

[monstersdownthepath]

Treerazer is also a wonderful anomaly in that he's one of very few demons that was never a mortal soul to begin with. He is the offspring of Cyth-V'sug, himself one of many qlippoth-turned-demons, and was born possessing the strength of a Demon Lord with the ideals of something primeval. His motivations and behaviors can come across as strange and alien because he is strange and alien, having began life as a shard cleft from an entity representing consumptive fungal blight.

[monstersdownthepath]

Well good news, @particularly-stupid-angel! The latest PF2e Adventure Path, Spore War, delves into the threat Treerazer poses to the world, his motivations, and his overall plan. Specifically book 2, Secret of Deathstalker Tower, contains a deep dive into him, and it paints a fairly complete picture:

Treerazer is the incarnate form of natural corruption, deleterious mutation, and floral diseases. He is to plantlife as Ghlaunder is to humanity, a living blight that is an enemy of health and peace, spreading sickness with his presence alone. He despises the sight of healthy plantlife, and healthy trees especially stand as an affront to his aesthetic preferences, so much so that he crafted Blackaxe to fell them in a single swing.

There is another, much pettier reason he hates trees, though: Elves love living in them, and he has a 2,000 year long grudge against elves ever since they kicked his tail out of Kyonin and made him retreat into the Tanglebriar. The less trees his hated enemies have to hide in, the better.

Bonus Spotlight: Treerazer

CR 25

Chaotic Evil Huge Outsider

The Inner Sea World Guide, pg. 314~315

Happy Arbor Day! Lets talk about someone who really, really HATES trees.

The Nascent Demon Lord Treerazer is one of many offspring of Cyth-V’sug, Demon Lord of Fungus and Parasites, and is one of many who have tried and failed to oust the fungal demon from his throne. Banished to the Material Plane for his failure, Treerazer is actually a Native Outsider, meaning that unlike most Demon Lords, killing him means he’s dead permanently. This danger to his life has had him take extra steps to preserve himself, not the least of which is his devastating combat prowess.

Treerazer’s gnashing teeth and buffeting wings deal 2d6+6 and 1d8+6 damage, respectively, which is absolutely atrocious for such a high-leveled creature! But then you may notice the strange-looking weapon he’s got clutched in his little hands up there; that’s his favorite weapon, the black axe known as Blackaxe (he probably took the same naming lessons as Geb), a lethal +5 Plant Bane Greataxe. Treerazer can swing Blackaxe up to four times a round, each strike dealing a considerably more dangerous 4d6+24 plus 1d6 Acid damage, all of which is multiplied by x3 if he manages to score a critical hit. And remember what I said about how much Treerazer hates trees? Because he REALLY hates trees! So great is his hatred for trees that he can strike one with Blackaxe once per minute to instantly turn it to ash and gain the benefits of a Heal spell, restoring 150HP and clearing off a huge number of conditions. While this psychotic lumberjack ability is tied to Blackaxe, I prefer to think that it’s actually Treerazer extracting immense catharsis from clearing a bit more pure vegetation from the world.

Treerazer may hate trees, but he’s got a special spot in his rotten heart for fungus and plants twisted by demonic energy. Once every 1d4 rounds as a standard action, he can blast a 30ft radius around himself with concentrated negative energy that kills foliage from leaf to root. This Defoliate power hews out any plant Treerazer doesn’t like while leaving the ones he enjoys safely in place. While this ability instantly kills mundane plants, Plant creatures can be instantly killed by it as well as they take an immense 20d10 damage PLUS 1d8 Strength drain, with a DC 39 Fortitude save only dividing the damage by half.

Razer’s got some serious hate for more or less all plant life that he doesn’t create, really. A few of his spell-like abilities are geared towards twisting or inconveniencing plants, such as his at-will Antiplant Shell, his 3/day Control Plants, and his 1/day Horrid Wilting, to say nothing of Blackaxe’s hunger for Plant creatures. While this may make him a force to be reckoned with if assaulting a grove of Plant monsters, it does make him less effective against normal folk, like most parties… Unless they fail to save against his Aura of Corruption.

In a 120ft radius around the demon, twisted fungal life blooms with alarming fecundity. Everything within this aura becomes tangled by the growth as it transforms into difficult terrain, though Treerazer himself (as well as any creature with Woodland Stride or Freedom of Movement) is unaffected. Furthermore and more importantly, however, is that these growths rapidly colonize living tissues; any living creature within the aura must make a DC 39 Fortitude save every single round or have the fungus take root within their body, a condition that cannot be removed until the victim spends 1 minute outside the Aura of Corruption. While unsightly and probably very itchy, the main danger of this fungal colonization is that the victim is treated as a Plant, but ONLY when it would be inconvenient for them, such as if they’re trying to resist Antiplant Shell, or getting creamed by Horrid Wilting, or getting hit by Blackaxe (which deals 2d6+2 extra damage to Plants)… Or suffering from Treerazer’s Defoliate. Ouch.

Turns out chopping down trees is really good practice for chopping down people. No wonder Treerazer does it so much! Well, that and expanding his horrible fungal realm.

You can read more about him here. And here is Blackaxe’s page, since it makes up a portion of his kit.

[monstersdownthepath]

[rapid pencil-scratching noises] demon... lord... of.... chickens...

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Nochlean

CR 3

Chaotic Evil Medium Fey

Adventure Path: Return of the Runelords: Secrets of Roderic's Cove, pg. 84-85

Creeping through the shadows, slipping past cracked doors, creeping in through windows, and slithering under beds, these cruel and malicious Fey live for the thrill of being the boogeyman that terrorize sleepy little towns at night. Nochleans are rotten through and through, existing only to cause pain, misery, death, and despair with no purpose or reason, compelled by their very nature to vandalize homes, slay pets and livestock, and steal away children in the dead of night. Notably, that last one is explicitly a hobby; nothing is more entertaining for them than watching a family have a breakdown over one of their young ones going missing, and Nochlean gain nothing from the activity--they don't even eat the stolen child, magically convert them into more fey, or demand a ransom! They just do it for the love of the game.

To this end, Nochlean possess the eerie Child Scent ability, able to sniff out humanoid children no matter where they may hide, navigating perfectly through the darkness of any house. Their long nails and dexterous fingers can be used like a set of lockpicks, letting them use their +9 to Disable Device without any actual tools, and their wiry frames and light bodies grant them +12 to Stealth. With the ability to use Spider Climb at 3/day, even hiding one's children on second floors is little defense, and a 3/day Sleep available assures that their stolen cargo remains knocked out... and any parents who barged in to see the fiend are quickly rendered non-issues.

This isn't the only magic available to these fiendish Fey, as they can use Open/Close and Mage Hand at will to mimic hauntings, misdirect anyone looking for them, and pilfer small items with little fanfare. Ventriloquism also allows them to make their words sound like they're coming from everywhere, such as from outside a window, from inside a wardrobe, from under a bed, or from directly behind you when you least expect it. The highest-power spell Nochlean have available to them is usable only once a day, but it's a doozy: Dimension Door. Thankfully, while it's frustratingly useful when the Fey needs to escape the scene of its other crimes, the rules of consenting to magic in Pathfinder are pretty strict: even if a target is knocked out by Sleep, the Nochlean cannot then grab them and D-Door out. The targets of D-Door MUST be willing, even if unconscious, so the kidnappers have to get creative if they want to teleport away with their prizes. Normally this is through their +10 to Bluff, enough to fool most children that aren't immediately frightened by their appearance (or aren't frightened enough into compliance), but if that doesn't work they have little other choice but to do things the hard way.

Like most "bully" Fey, Nochleans are built to be frightening and tricky, but if an enemy isn't intimidated by their bluster or their magical antics, they're more likely to flee than fight. UNLIKE most bully Fey, Nochlean are actually able to fight, they just prefer not to. Their sole offensive action is a pair of claw attacks... but, as mentioned, their lengthy claws are sturdy and sharp enough to be used as tools, and thus deal MORE damage than the average claw attack at 2d6 per strike. Each claw also Grabs whatever is hit, and their lack of Strength is a smokescreen to cover for the fact their Agile Maneuvers feat grants them +10 to grapple checks, letting them hold fast to creatures that would normally be able to escape without issue.

Nochleans are further protected by DR 5/Cold iron, preventing most peasant weapons from dealing meaningful damage to them... but they have a very notable and very pronounced weakness that means even the average 1 Hit Dice citizen has a chance to escape or repel the foul Fey: Music Susceptibility. The exaggerated ears of a Nochlean grant it numerous benefits, such as wrapping around their heads and necks to help disguise their true nature when wandering among mortals, and a +4 to Perception checks, but their heightened hearing also saddles them with a Vulnerability to Sonic and an unpredictable reaction to hearing any music. The book notes that Nochleans cannot stand the sound of music and often try and flee it as swiftly as possible, with even simple whistling acting as a deterrent for one, but their Music Susceptibility tells something of a different story.

It gives anyone near the Nochlean the ability to make a Perform check using (Keyboard, Percussion, Sing, String, or Wind), with the Nochlean then having to make a Will save equal to the Perform result. So long as the music continues to play, the foul Fey suffers a different debuff based on the Perform: Keyboard inflicts sickened, percussion inflicts shaken, string inflicts stagger, wind inflicts confusion... but singing inflicts Rage. While this renders them unable to use any tactics more complicated than running up and clawing at someone and lowers its AC from 15 to 13, it does mean the boogeyman's base damage rises to 2d6+1 AND it gains +5 hitpoints, making it harder to take out and slightly more likely to take someone else with it. All of these debuffs (and one buff) last until the music stops, and given how common lutes (stagger) and flutes (confusion) are among adventuring parties, this frequently allows the players to swiftly pile on and dispatch the fey... provided it doesn't D-Door away.

Of course, perhaps the real problem isn't killing the Nochlean, but finding out where it's been taking people. The book grimly notes that Nochlean steal children just for fun, so many pragmatic ones will actually sell their talents to other vile and unrepentant souls, exchanging their stolen victims for wealth and finery without asking questions. Nochlean serve as good introductory antagonists for a campaign at lower levels and can be run as solo threats (they detest sharing territory with others of their kind), but even more than this, the presence of one can easily expose greater plots and much deeper corruptions going on in the background! We love a good multi-use monster!

You can read more about them here.

[monstersdownthepath]

Skimmed through Thirst for Blood, the first book in the Shades of Blood AP and have mixed feelings on a lot of it that may clear on a more thorough read, but the main draw was the dive into the worship of Camazotz. I think the inclusion of Camazotz, Ah Pook (still really wish they used Ah Puch instead), and numerous Coatl deities kind of makes the justifications for cutting out the Osirion pantheon even stranger, but that's not what we're here for.

As lore goes, Camazotz's article simply re-states a lot of info we already knew about him from other sources, just a little longer. He's a savage deity (in both the sense of "a god that is savage" and "a god of what could be considered savages") with little room for nuance, as direct as a god can be with what he wants from the world and from the faith that has formed around him. He wants to drink blood, he wants to hunt, he wants people to be afraid of him, and he wants his followers to aspire to the same ideals. He abhors civilization and how "soft" it makes people in every sense of the word, going so far as to be sickened by the idea of easy prey and growing bored if his meals don't fight back.

Fittingly enough, his cultists are the player's first introduction to blood-drinking threats in the AP, and make for "starter villains" to set up more powerful foes. However, even a straightforward deity like Camazotz has a surprising number of mysteries and eyebrow-raising events, such as:

His origin legend claims that he was once a vampire bat that was so evil that he grew a complex soul (as humans have) just to hold it all.

He is said to have served as a messenger for various Demon Lords for millennia, carrying messages across the planes to their followers and gorging on blood offerings from both. Eventually, he finally ascending after eating an Empyreal Lord that was given to him as payment for his services.

Because of his frequent traveling between the planes, he has three divine lairs as a result: the House of Bats in Xibalba, Agrahoz in the Abyss, and the Land of Eleven Deaths in... the Material Plane???

Agrahoz stretches all the way down to Yad Iagnoth, aka the top of the world for the qlippoth... with whom he shares a cordial, peaceful relationship. Anyone who knows anything about qlippoth should realize how weird this is, but perhaps the parasitic and predatory denizens of the deepest Rifts see kinship in what is, essentially, an evolved predator? Camazotz did not become a god through worship, but through his own sadistic and ceaseless violence, something the primordial qlippoth likely both understand and respect.

His lair in the Material is even MORE curious. Camazotz freely flits between the planes even now, which is already highly unusual for a divine figure, but to my knowledge, the fact he can exist in the universe as a physical entity makes him one of three gods to do so, the others being Gozreh and Kitumu. That he is a divine figure one can just... encounter, potentially even randomly, is bizarre in Pathfinder's universe, where gods tend to stick to their Outer Sphere planes, because leaving those planes can raise enemy alarms.

Camazotz in general gets a bizarre amount of leeway compared to most gods, freely blessing or cursing his followers as he sees fit, including just giving away darkvision to people who prove they can hunt without it first. Thirst for Blood highlights an especially overt flex of his power: he can, entirely on a whim, grant his followers the ability to become true werebats or bat beastkin if he likes them enough, when otherwise such a dramatic transformation would require some form of ritual or higher-level magic. While it's true many of them DO perform some kind of lengthy, ritualistic rite for the privilege, the ritual isn't to gain the power, it's to prove their devotion, with Camazotz having the final say on if it works. Even if they do everything perfectly, he can still say no, and if they screw up the ritual entirely, he can still say yes, which is not how these things are usually DONE!

Camazotz is a straightforward deity, but for whatever reason, he can flaunt the rules that normally bind other gods and prevent them from acting, and maintains allies along demons, qlippoth, and sahkil. There are a few possible reasons he gets away with such audacious acts, with the most plausible being that... well, strictly speaking, the reason most gods don't do what Camazotz is doing is that it invites retaliation from their enemies, and up until recently, he didn't have enemies that regarded him as an immediate threat that needed to be destroyed, because in the grand scheme of things, he was a single predator devouring prey and spends the vast majority of his time waiting for prey to stumble into his lairs (or be sent to him by others) instead of seeking it out. He wasn't enacting any grand, worlds-shaping plans, and actually kept his own cults disorganized and disjointed by encouraging infighting and direct, bloody violence. Still, his actions make him an anomaly among the divine!

[monstersdownthepath]

Homebrew Horror: Gremlin, Firgor

(Art by Wayworncrow!)

There are only a handful of items more useful to an adventuring party than Bags of Holding, items so valuable that few adventurers--even ones which tend to travel on their own--would live without for more than a few weeks into their careers for fear of traveling unprepared, or for fear of being forced to leave loot behind. Whenever the opportunity to obtain one arises, most would jump at the chance! And who wouldn't? You never have to worry about encumbrance again with one! The money you'd save hiring carts is astronomical! Unfortunately, nothing so convenient could exist without the whims of some fiend or Fey attempting to make a mockery of it, and these creatures are proof of it.

Without a need for air and having the ability to turn invisible on a whim, Firgor spend the entirety of their lives nesting within Bags of Holding and other extradimensional storage spaces like them, sustained partially by whatever morsels they can rake into their lairs with their long, rubbery arms, and mostly by "sacrifices" delivered right to them by unwitting explorers, adventurers, and merchants. Hidden by ramshackle suits of camouflage built from whatever knickknacks the bag's owner hoards, an unwitting victim may 'host' a Firgor for months or even years without realizing it's even there, and all the while the gremlin wreaks small but meaningful amounts of havoc on their lives.

No one is entirely sure when the first of these strange, alien-looking gremlins began to manifest across the world, and it's entirely by their own design. Firgor possess a small but potent number of psychic abilities granted to them by their unusual nature, chief among them the ability to simply force others to forget their presence. Any creature not looking directly at a Firgor tends to swiftly forget they ever saw it, and any item rendered invisible by the gremlin's spellwork is similarly forgotten until the gremlin decides to give its new 'toy' back for one reason or another. As Firgor age, they gradually leech magical power from the countless items introduced to their homes and gain magical powers of their own, culminating in the awakening of more powerful psychic abilities, such as the ability to temporarily seal away a victim's knowledge and skills. This intangible theft is the ultimate goal of all Firgor, who draw immense joy (and perhaps even psychic sustenance) from the chaos which erupts when someone cannot remember crucial information or access skills they once possessed.

How many times has it happened across the world, that otherwise competent and well-trained adventurers simply forget the true extent of their apocalyptic armory, misplace otherwise impossible-to-forget trophies, or lament the loss of a useful tool they should still have? Why do highly-skilled Fighters and raging Barbarians simply lose the ability to use the techniques they've been honing for years? How is it that Wizards and Witches smarter than entire rooms of people put together, alongside Clerics and Paladins who are guided by higher forces, cannot remember what spells they've prepared for the day? How many times has an adventuring party said, with panic tinged by exasperation, "You could DO THAT/You HAD THAT this whole time?!" in response to one of their members producing a heretofore unseen (or forgotten) item or skill?

In many of these cases the next two words out of the victim's mouth are tinged with surprise, then frustrated realization: "I... Firgor."

FIRGOR GREMLIN CR 2

Neutral Evil Tiny Fey Init: +2; Senses: Darkvision 120ft, low-light vision; Perception +6

------ Defense ------

AC 16, touch 14, flat-footed 14 (+2 Dex, +2 natural, +2 size) HP 18 (3d6+6) Fort +3 Ref +5 Will +3 Defensive abilities Bag Lair; DR 5/Cold iron; SR 13

------ Offense ------

Speed 10ft, climb 10ft Melee 2 claws +5 (1d2-2), OR improvised weapon +1 (1d4-2), claw +0 (1d2-2) Ranged Improvised weapon -1 (1d4-2) Space 2 1/2ft; Reach 10ft (with claws) Special Attacks Out of Sight, Out of Mind Spell-like Abilities (CL 3; Concentration +5)

3/day--Detect Magic, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Read Magic 1/day--Memory Lapse (DC 13)

------ Statistics ------

Str 7 Dex 15 Con 14 Int 12 Wis 11 Cha 15 Base Atk: +1; CMB -3; CMD 9 Feats Deft Hands, Weapon Finesse Skills Bluff +8, Disable Device +5, Escape Artist +8, Perception +6, Knowledge (Arcana) +3, Sleight of Hand +12, Stealth +16 (+18 while inside lair), Use Magic Device +8 Racial Modifiers: +2 to Sleight of Hand, +2 to Stealth while inside its lair Languages Aklo, Common SQ Compression, Longarm, No Breath

------ Ecology ------

Environment: Any Organization: Solitary Treasure: Incidental (and usually yours already)

------

Combat: Firgor are lazy and cowardly, and do not to engage in combat if it can be avoided, preferring to quietly slink into their lairs if danger passes. Their first response to danger is withdrawing into their lair and attempting to become invisible to make everyone forget they saw it. When inside their lairs, they usually forego using their claws and instead will use whatever items they can to attack their enemies, whether it be used as an improvised weapon or a dangerous magic item.

Morale: Firgor always try and retreat into their lairs when possible, but if their enemies follow them into their lairs, they will threaten valuables and heirlooms with destruction if they are not left alone. If this does not work, they have little recourse but to fight to the death.

------ Special Abilities ------

Bag Lair (Ex): Firgor nest inside of Bags of Holding and other small, portable extradimensional spaces, holding onto the insides with their tiny legs while they use their arms to move and attack. Whenever a Firgor moves, it can drag its bag lair with it. While in its lair, a Firgor has cover from everything outside its lair. As a move action, a Firgor can fully withdraw into its lair, making itself impossible to target or affect with anything outside of the lair, often requiring combatants to enter the lair to chase after it. It cannot target or interact with anything outside of its lair until it uses another move action to relocate to the lair's entry.

Longarm (Ex): The long, rubbery arms of a Firgor give it exceptional reach for a Tiny creature. In addition, it possesses an eye in one of its palms, allowing it to perform feats such as making skill checks or attack rolls from cover without penalty and without exposing its body.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind (Sp/Su): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity, a Firgor can become invisible, as the spell. While invisible in this way, any creature that saw it within the last minute must succeed a DC 13 Will save or forget what they've seen, retaining only a vague recollection. 1d2 rounds after failing the save, the victim completely forgets about the gremlin's existence. Any item the Firgor carries that is also affected by its invisibility is affected by this memory leakage; any creature searching for such an item forgets they were doing so if they fail the Will save, and forgets the item even existed 1d2 rounds later. If the item was especially important to the creature, or if its existence is reinforced by another creature who succeeded the save (or was just unaffected), an affected creature will rationalize the lost item as simply misplaced. Similarly, a creature that was attacked by the gremlin but was forced to forget about it will believe the wounds were sustained in an unrelated incident. Any creature damaged by the gremlin in the last minute has a +5 to the save against this ability. This is a mind-affecting effect, and its saving throw is Charisma-based.

-------

Firgor Malefactors

Over time, a Firgor gains even greater power due to absorbing latent magic from its surroundings and establishing a deeper connection to the Astral Plane, gaining psychic abilities. A Firgor Malefactor gains 2 to 4 additional racial Hit Dice and the Psychic Magic ability alongside a handful of spells which differ from gremlin to gremlin, typically keeping in line with the theme of its most precious stolen treasures. Some, even rarer specimens instead gain 2 to 4 levels in an occult class, typically Mesmerist or Occultist, and advance from there.

In addition to whatever powers they gain from their advancement, all Malefactors gain the following abilities:

A deflection bonus to their AC equal to their Charisma modifier, minimum 1.

An additional eye in their other palm, granting them All-Around vision.

Both the Catch Off-Guard and Throw Anything feats as bonus feats.

Brain Fog (Su): Once per hour as a standard action, a Firgor Malefactor can force a mental block into a creature's psyche, cutting it off from its own experiences. The target must be within 60ft. The target must succeed a Will saving throw with a DC of 10 + 1/2 the Malefactor's HD + the Malefactor's Charisma modifier or lose access to one of the following: all of the ranks in X of its skills, X of its prepared spells, X of its feats, X of its spell-like abilities, OR one Extraordinary or Supernatural ability it possesses, all chosen by the gremlin. "X" is the Malefactor's Charisma modifier. A creature can only be affected by one instance of Brain Fog at a time (the Malefactor blocking a new ability releases the old one), and its abilities remain locked away for 24 hours or until it receives the benefits of any spell which would cure mental ability score damage or restore memories (such as Modify Memory, Psychic Surgery, or Restoration). Creatures affected by this ability often simply forget they had access to the blocked abilities at all. A creature unaware of the Firgor, such as if it's asleep, takes a -5 penalty to the saving throw against this ability.

[monstersdownthepath]

Yes, the Firgor is an in-universe explanation for players forgetting what's on their sheet. Use them wisely.

[monstersdownthepath]

Wheel of Monsters

Image © @bowelfly

[April Fools! Like previous April Fools' monsters I've done, this is intended to be fully usable at table, just... weird. Most of my previous April Fools monsters have been pop culture references, and this one is, just a little slantwise. The expression "wheel of monsters" has been rattling around my head for years, inspired by game shows and game show parodies like Wheel of the Worst. The monsters its summons pulls from by default are mostly ones on the Codex, but I've included guidelines on how to customize it if you don't want to look up a whole bunch of bespoke stat blocks (assuming, of course, anyone actually uses this abomination at table).]

Wheel of Monsters CR 15 CE Aberration This thing is a quadruped with a long tail and clawed limbs, but its semblance to sane life ends there. Instead of a head, it has a vertically oriented dial with twelve facets, each with a different combination of eyes, teeth and strange glyphs. A single eye sits in the center of the wheel atop the axle. Spikes protrude forward from the edge of the wheel, plucked by a stinger at the end of a long tail. Said tail also has a strange flap on it that has the appearance of a sign, or possibly scoreboard.

The wheel of monsters is a strange tool in the service of the Dominion of the Black. They were invented by the daelkyr Harsanash, whose interests lie in the role that chance events play in increasing entropy and the downfall of complex systems. The wheels of monsters exploit chance by generating random spells and summoning random monsters, drawn from distant worlds under Dominion control or the depths of the Dimension of Dream. These far-flung summons have already had disastrous effects, as now both the quori and beholders know about Golarion and its corner of space, and gaze upon it with envious eyes.

Despite their grotesque appearances, wheels of monsters are quite intelligent—geniuses by the standards of humanoids. They tend to have something of a split personality; obsequious and loyal to higher ranking Dominion creatures, even less powerful ones, but snide and condescending to most other lifeforms. Most wheels of monsters have a fondness for cracking jokes and giving color commentary during combat. All of its many mouths are capable of speech, and it can alter the pattern and coloration on its tail flap with incredible precision in order to spell out words in any language it knows. A common behavior is to speak primarily through one mouth, with an unctuous tone, while making sounds like crowd noises and cheers with its other maws.

A wheel of monsters is usually on the move in combat, stalking from place to place in order to better make use of their spells. They are excellent climbers and have at least the possibility of flight through their random spellcasting, and so prefer to have a birds-eye view of the action in order to better place monsters or effects. A wheel of monsters keeps its tactics flexible, but almost always summons a monstrous minion as soon as it can to engage foes. In melee, they can sting with their plectrum tails, inducing confusion in foes, and grab with their claws. They prefer to split those attacks up, stinging enemies to disrupt their tactics and then focusing the bulk of their violence on a single target. If a wheel of monsters has a foe grabbed, it lowers its spiked face on top of their victim and spin it, tearing with all of its spikes and teeth simultaneously. When fighting on their own terms, wheels of monsters will gladly flee a losing fight, but gladly sacrifice their lives in order to promote the objectives of their superiors.

Appropriately enough for a creature of weaponized chance, different wheels of monsters may be able to call forth different spells or summons by spinning their wheels. In order to adjust the wheel of monsters’ spellcasting spin, replace some or all of the spells with spells of the appropriate level. A wheel of monsters can call upon two spells of each level from 1st to 6th. In order to adjust the wheel of monsters’ summoning spin, replace some or all of the monsters with monsters of the appropriate challenge rating. A wheel of monsters can summon two monsters of each CR between 8 and 13.

Wheel of Monsters CR 15 XP 51,200 CE Large aberration Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +27

Defense AC 29, touch 17, flat-footed 24 (-1 size, +4 Dex, +1 dodge, +3 luck, +13 natural) hp 225 (18d8+144) Fort +17, Ref +16, Will +16 Immune curses, disease, poison Defensive Abilities fortune’s favor

Offense Speed 40 ft., climb 30 ft. Melee 2 claws +19 (1d8+7 plus grab), sting +19 (2d6+7 plus confusion) Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft. (10 ft. with sting) Special Attacks rake (bite, 4d8+7), spellcasting spin, summoning spin

Statistics Str 24, Dex 19, Con 27, Int 20, Wis 14, Cha 21 Base Atk +13; CMB +21 (+25 grapple); CMD 36 (40 vs. trip) Feats Combat Expertise, Combat Reflexes, Dodge, Improved Initiative, Lightning Reflexes, Mobility, Nimble Moves, Spring Attack, Whirlwind Attack Skills Acrobatics +25 (+29 jumping), Bluff +17, Climb +30, Fly +11, Intimidate +20, Knowledge (arcana, planes) +23, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +26, Perception +27, Spellcraft +20, Stealth +18; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception Languages Abyssal, Aklo, Common, Protean, Undercommon, telepathy 100 ft. SQ no breath

Ecology Environment any land or underground Organization solitary Treasure standard

Special Abilities Confusion (Su) A creature stung by a wheel of monsters must succeed a DC 24 Will save or be confused, as per the spell, for 1 minute. If the confused creature gets the “act normally” result two turns in a row, the effect ends early. This is a mind-influencing compulsion effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Fortune’s Favor (Su) A wheel of monsters has a +3 luck bonus to its AC and to its saving throws. Spellcasting Spin (Su) At will as a standard action, a wheel of monsters can spin its wheel to cast a random spell. These function as the spell cast at CL 15th, except that it does not provoke attacks of opportunity and the save DC for all of these abilities, if applicable, is DC 24. The save DC is Charisma based. The wheel of monsters can choose the target or area of the spell as normal for any legal target after determining the spell cast. Roll a d12 to determine the spell cast each time the wheel of monsters uses this ability 1. magic missile 2. mage armor 3. blur 4. scorching ray 5. fly 6. lightning bolt (Reflex half) 7. enervation 8. fire shield 9. cone of cold (Reflex half) 10. spell resistance 11. disintegrate (Fortitude partial) 12. globe of invulnerability Summoning Spin (Su) As a standard action, a wheel of monsters may spin its wheel to summon a random monster from the following table. Monsters summoned in this fashion appear within 60 feet of the wheel of monsters and remain for 15 minutes or until dismissed. A wheel of monsters can use this ability as many times per day as 3 + its Charisma modifier (8/day for an average specimen), but can have no more than one monster summoned at a time through this method. Roll a d12 to determine the monster summoned each time the wheel of monsters uses this ability: 1. animate dream 2. neh-thalggu 3. aros 4. quori, hashalaq 5. rukanyr 6. yad-pollom 7. p’nahki 8. quori, du’ulora 9. garsonite 10. gogiteth 11. beholder 12. ectodactyl

[monstersdownthepath]

Homebrew Horror: Gremlin, Firgor

(Art by Wayworncrow!)

There are only a handful of items more useful to an adventuring party than Bags of Holding, items so valuable that few adventurers--even ones which tend to travel on their own--would live without for more than a few weeks into their careers for fear of traveling unprepared, or for fear of being forced to leave loot behind. Whenever the opportunity to obtain one arises, most would jump at the chance! And who wouldn't? You never have to worry about encumbrance again with one! The money you'd save hiring carts is astronomical! Unfortunately, nothing so convenient could exist without the whims of some fiend or Fey attempting to make a mockery of it, and these creatures are proof of it.

Without a need for air and having the ability to turn invisible on a whim, Firgor spend the entirety of their lives nesting within Bags of Holding and other extradimensional storage spaces like them, sustained partially by whatever morsels they can rake into their lairs with their long, rubbery arms, and mostly by "sacrifices" delivered right to them by unwitting explorers, adventurers, and merchants. Hidden by ramshackle suits of camouflage built from whatever knickknacks the bag's owner hoards, an unwitting victim may 'host' a Firgor for months or even years without realizing it's even there, and all the while the gremlin wreaks small but meaningful amounts of havoc on their lives.

No one is entirely sure when the first of these strange, alien-looking gremlins began to manifest across the world, and it's entirely by their own design. Firgor possess a small but potent number of psychic abilities granted to them by their unusual nature, chief among them the ability to simply force others to forget their presence. Any creature not looking directly at a Firgor tends to swiftly forget they ever saw it, and any item rendered invisible by the gremlin's spellwork is similarly forgotten until the gremlin decides to give its new 'toy' back for one reason or another. As Firgor age, they gradually leech magical power from the countless items introduced to their homes and gain magical powers of their own, culminating in the awakening of more powerful psychic abilities, such as the ability to temporarily seal away a victim's knowledge and skills. This intangible theft is the ultimate goal of all Firgor, who draw immense joy (and perhaps even psychic sustenance) from the chaos which erupts when someone cannot remember crucial information or access skills they once possessed.

How many times has it happened across the world, that otherwise competent and well-trained adventurers simply forget the true extent of their apocalyptic armory, misplace otherwise impossible-to-forget trophies, or lament the loss of a useful tool they should still have? Why do highly-skilled Fighters and raging Barbarians simply lose the ability to use the techniques they've been honing for years? How is it that Wizards and Witches smarter than entire rooms of people put together, alongside Clerics and Paladins who are guided by higher forces, cannot remember what spells they've prepared for the day? How many times has an adventuring party said, with panic tinged by exasperation, "You could DO THAT/You HAD THAT this whole time?!" in response to one of their members producing a heretofore unseen (or forgotten) item or skill?

In many of these cases the next two words out of the victim's mouth are tinged with surprise, then frustrated realization: "I... Firgor."

FIRGOR GREMLIN CR 2

Neutral Evil Tiny Fey Init: +2; Senses: Darkvision 120ft, low-light vision; Perception +6

------ Defense ------

AC 16, touch 14, flat-footed 14 (+2 Dex, +2 natural, +2 size) HP 18 (3d6+6) Fort +3 Ref +5 Will +3 Defensive abilities Bag Lair; DR 5/Cold iron; SR 13

------ Offense ------

Speed 10ft, climb 10ft Melee 2 claws +5 (1d2-2), OR improvised weapon +1 (1d4-2), claw +0 (1d2-2) Ranged Improvised weapon -1 (1d4-2) Space 2 1/2ft; Reach 10ft (with claws) Special Attacks Out of Sight, Out of Mind Spell-like Abilities (CL 3; Concentration +5)

3/day--Detect Magic, Mage Hand, Prestidigitation, Read Magic 1/day--Memory Lapse (DC 13)

------ Statistics ------

Str 7 Dex 15 Con 14 Int 12 Wis 11 Cha 15 Base Atk: +1; CMB -3; CMD 9 Feats Deft Hands, Weapon Finesse Skills Bluff +8, Disable Device +5, Escape Artist +8, Perception +6, Knowledge (Arcana) +3, Sleight of Hand +12, Stealth +16 (+18 while inside lair), Use Magic Device +8 Racial Modifiers: +2 to Sleight of Hand, +2 to Stealth while inside its lair Languages Aklo, Common SQ Compression, Longarm, No Breath

------ Ecology ------

Environment: Any Organization: Solitary Treasure: Incidental (and usually yours already)

------

Combat: Firgor are lazy and cowardly, and do not to engage in combat if it can be avoided, preferring to quietly slink into their lairs if danger passes. Their first response to danger is withdrawing into their lair and attempting to become invisible to make everyone forget they saw it. When inside their lairs, they usually forego using their claws and instead will use whatever items they can to attack their enemies, whether it be used as an improvised weapon or a dangerous magic item.

Morale: Firgor always try and retreat into their lairs when possible, but if their enemies follow them into their lairs, they will threaten valuables and heirlooms with destruction if they are not left alone. If this does not work, they have little recourse but to fight to the death.

------ Special Abilities ------

Bag Lair (Ex): Firgor nest inside of Bags of Holding and other small, portable extradimensional spaces, holding onto the insides with their tiny legs while they use their arms to move and attack. Whenever a Firgor moves, it can drag its bag lair with it. While in its lair, a Firgor has cover from everything outside its lair. As a move action, a Firgor can fully withdraw into its lair, making itself impossible to target or affect with anything outside of the lair, often requiring combatants to enter the lair to chase after it. It cannot target or interact with anything outside of its lair until it uses another move action to relocate to the lair's entry.

Longarm (Ex): The long, rubbery arms of a Firgor give it exceptional reach for a Tiny creature. In addition, it possesses an eye in one of its palms, allowing it to perform feats such as making skill checks or attack rolls from cover without penalty and without exposing its body.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind (Sp/Su): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity, a Firgor can become invisible, as the spell. While invisible in this way, any creature that saw it within the last minute must succeed a DC 13 Will save or forget what they've seen, retaining only a vague recollection. 1d2 rounds after failing the save, the victim completely forgets about the gremlin's existence. Any item the Firgor carries that is also affected by its invisibility is affected by this memory leakage; any creature searching for such an item forgets they were doing so if they fail the Will save, and forgets the item even existed 1d2 rounds later. If the item was especially important to the creature, or if its existence is reinforced by another creature who succeeded the save (or was just unaffected), an affected creature will rationalize the lost item as simply misplaced. Similarly, a creature that was attacked by the gremlin but was forced to forget about it will believe the wounds were sustained in an unrelated incident. Any creature damaged by the gremlin in the last minute has a +5 to the save against this ability. This is a mind-affecting effect, and its saving throw is Charisma-based.

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Firgor Malefactors

Over time, a Firgor gains even greater power due to absorbing latent magic from its surroundings and establishing a deeper connection to the Astral Plane, gaining psychic abilities. A Firgor Malefactor gains 2 to 4 additional racial Hit Dice and the Psychic Magic ability alongside a handful of spells which differ from gremlin to gremlin, typically keeping in line with the theme of its most precious stolen treasures. Some, even rarer specimens instead gain 2 to 4 levels in an occult class, typically Mesmerist or Occultist, and advance from there.

In addition to whatever powers they gain from their advancement, all Malefactors gain the following abilities:

A deflection bonus to their AC equal to their Charisma modifier, minimum 1.

An additional eye in their other palm, granting them All-Around vision.

Both the Catch Off-Guard and Throw Anything feats as bonus feats.

Brain Fog (Su): Once per hour as a standard action, a Firgor Malefactor can force a mental block into a creature's psyche, cutting it off from its own experiences. The target must be within 60ft. The target must succeed a Will saving throw with a DC of 10 + 1/2 the Malefactor's HD + the Malefactor's Charisma modifier or lose access to one of the following: all of the ranks in X of its skills, X of its prepared spells, X of its feats, X of its spell-like abilities, OR one Extraordinary or Supernatural ability it possesses, all chosen by the gremlin. "X" is the Malefactor's Charisma modifier. A creature can only be affected by one instance of Brain Fog at a time (the Malefactor blocking a new ability releases the old one), and its abilities remain locked away for 24 hours or until it receives the benefits of any spell which would cure mental ability score damage or restore memories (such as Modify Memory, Psychic Surgery, or Restoration). Creatures affected by this ability often simply forget they had access to the blocked abilities at all. A creature unaware of the Firgor, such as if it's asleep, takes a -5 penalty to the saving throw against this ability.

[monstersdownthepath]

Not an ask but I feel like there's a somewhat recurring ocean-theme with your homebrews, at least the ones that stand out to me. Between the Sea of Teeth, the Old and Rotten Crick, and now the Ocean's Angles.

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Joke answer: it's because the ocean is scary and wants to eat you

Real answer: Completely unintentional! Though I have recently started playing DREDGE, a game I've come to really enjoy. The Old Crick WAS partially inspired by watching a friend of mine play through it, and kind of represents a sadistic and excessively wasteful fisherman.

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Gigas Clam

CR 11

Chaotic Neutral Huge Magical Beast

Adventure Path: Skulls & Shackles: From Hell's Heart, pg. 64-65

How many of you got jumpscared by reading the word "clam" shortly before seeing the Sugarplum Fairy from Cabin in the Woods pop up directly below it? I'm betting it was at least one.

Gigas Clams are massive, aquatic predators whose suspiciously human-shaped foot actually spends most of its time safely curled up between two shell halves that are hard as steel plates, like a normal clam. They are normally content to snatch up whatever blunders by them, grabbing small fish out of the water or sucking in larger meals with their powerful Siphon Jets, and as such pose little danger to the surface-dwelling world. Merfolk, sea elves, and other sea-dwellers quickly learn to avoid Gigas Clam territory, because these massive mollusks have a hankerin' for sapient flesh. Don't let the fact they're mostly sedentary distract you from the fact they're a predatory species on Golarion; it's easier to make a list of creatures that haven't evolved to feed on humans or elves in some way.

if you're wondering why the Gigas Clam's foot looks that way, that's why. The humanoid shape is just accurate enough that, when viewed through the gloom of the water, one could mistake it for a drowning victim or some form of merfolk. If you think that's a little ridiculous, then just take a look at the pranks clams on Earth are pulling on its wildlife for some perspective! At least this thing isn't made from mucus. Besides, the disguise doesn't have to be flawless, just deceptive enough to draw someone in close... because these clams have a threat radius much larger than you'd ever expect from what is, essentially, a living boulder, one made all the worse by the underwater combat rules, which you're going to have to keep in mind for the entirety of this article--these clams are underwater foes only!

We'll start with what I already mentioned: the Siphon Jet. This all-purpose orifice is responsible for grabbing prey, deflecting predators, and mobility, manipulating vast amounts of water to form short-lived but dangerously grabby riptides around any target the clam can see. Any Large-sized creature or object can be affected by this sudden blast of water, and failing a DC 22 Reflex save causes the target to move either 20ft directly towards OR directly away from the Gigas Clam, at its discretion. Any creature drawn too close to the clam gets to see the shell open, all the combat limbs unfolding as it assumes its battle stance, its full 15ft space and 15ft reach (!!) on display.

Gigas Clams attack primarily with the toothy mouth at the end of their human-shaped foot and their duo of muscular, tentacular siphons, the bite dealing 2d6+9 damage (and having a critical hit range of 19-20) and the duo of slams dealing 1d8+9 damage each. This isn't taking into account the possibility of them using Vital Strike, but with a reach so enormous and the ability to pull prey directly to them, they're unlikely to need it. More importantly is that the slams also Grab whatever they hit with their slam attacks (not their bite), and any creature that can't escape the grapple may be drawn into the Gigas Clam's shell and swallowed whole into a specialized chamber, taking 4d8 Acid damage a round as powerful digestive juices flood in. You'll note I said "primarily," and that's important to know for any prospective clam-hunter, because these bastardous bivalves have more than a few tricks hidden away in their shells. First and foremost is their Siphon Dart, because the siphon didn't already do enough, so Paizo decided this clam needed a gun. Gigas Clams can fire these tiny barbs made of sediment and calcified parasites as a ranged attack with a shocking range of 100ft (but only at a +11, compared to the +20 their melee attacks get), dealing 2d6+9 damage to whatever they hit while also exposing the victim to a paralytic toxin, because why should jellyfish get to have all the fun?

Any creature struck by a dart must succeed a DC 24 Fortitude save once a round for up to six rounds (2 consecutive successes cures), with each failure dealing 1d6 Str damage to the victim and fully paralyzing them for one round, making them easy prey for the clam. While an adventuring party heading underwater should have some magical method to allow them to breathe, this may not always be the case (especially if the clam is a random encounter or hazard!), anyone simply relying on holding their breath can be swiftly killed by this poison, because you can't hold your breath or swim while paralyzed. This is especially deadly if the clam is the one that engaged the surprise encounter by sinking the boat everyone was on first, causing enough chaos that it's likely no one has protection from drowning in place yet, which is something they CAN do, and it's yet another function of the Siphon Jet. This jet not only gives them a 60ft swim speed, but can also jet them up to 300ft in a single, unchanging direction, their steel-hard shell Trampling any creature in its path for 1d8+13 damage (DC 22 Reflex for half) and smashing through any obstacle that can't withstand 4d8 ramming damage and putting sizable holes in any ship that isn't reinforced. When I say "steel hard," I'm not exaggerating; their shells make them nearly invulnerable, having DR 10 that's only bypassed by a slashing weapon that's also magical. Not a problem for adventurers at this level, insurmountable problem for commoners finding their boats besieged by bivalves.

A single Gigas Clam can smash through rafts and rowboats in 2 to 3 rounds to doom everyone inside, but an entire bed of clams can pulverize vessels of any size... which is exactly what they do once a year on the first full moon of the summer. Entire swarms of these creatures enter a mating frenzy that necessitates them actively hunting down any sapient creature they can find, either attacking underwater settlements or sinking entire fleets of ships to gorge on the drowning cargo. This frenzy lasts for an entire month, requiring any ships passing through their territory to either take an enormous detour or have some means to protect themselves from being attacked from below by living, voracious cannonballs... or have some expendables to throw down and distract the hungry beasts. Like the player party! Either they win and kill the clams, or they die and they don't have to get paid. Win-win for the merchants.

A whole field of Gigas Clams is a foe no one should face, but for a party wanting to dispatch a one or two at a time, the most important thing they can do is get it onto land. NONE of the Gigas Clam's ranged tricks work on land, its Siphon Jets completely useless and its darts rendered a non-issue if it can't build up the water pressure it needs to fire them. it obviously can't use its swim speed or its jet on land, leaving it only with its 20ft movement speed. A beached clam is by no means defenseless, as it still has its considerably dangerous melee, but it's much more manageable.

You can read more about them here.

[monstersdownthepath]

Homebrew Item: The Ocean's Angles

No one is entirely sure who authored the first copy of this strange book, as the first copy was found in the possession of a mathematician who could not accurately remember where they had bought it. Bereft of any maker's mark or signature and being written in an entirely unremarkable hand, The Ocean's Angles is nonetheless a remarkable book... if for nothing else than its impressive heft, being nearly two thousand pages long. Its every page is filled top to bottom with complex mathematical formulae and highly detailed anatomical drawings of numerous species' of fish in varying states of disassembly or reassembly. Though the book itself is nonmagical and its contents not directly dangerous to the psyche, its existence--as well as any copies of it--is still largely hidden from the public for fear of what sorts of catastrophes its formulae may cause if applied maliciously, or simply out of destructive curiosity... and, more mundanely, so the owners of these rare publishings can utilize the effects for themselves, for one reason or another.

The Ocean's Angles describes a method by which anyone with the correct tools and swift enough hands can, using entirely nonmagical methods, slice a fish in such a precise and unusual way that the pieces can then--if the instructions are followed exactly--be reassembled into two, three, or even more of the exact same fish. The method by which this is accomplished is not understood despite decades of study, as the process cannot be interrupted for any reason or the attempt fails and yields nothing but a pile of carefully sliced viscera. The Ocean's Angles details how to use its method upon nearly three-hundred different species' of mundane fish, and as time has gone on, many other mathematicians, esoteric chefs, and skilled fishmongers have found ways to apply its methods to new fish and added the resulting formulae to their own personal copies. A normal copy of the book can cost upwards to 6,000gp alone, but a personalized copy containing new formulae can potentially be priceless depending on which fish the user discovered a method to multiply, such as rare or sapient fish, Magical Beasts, or stranger.

To use The Ocean's Angles formulae to its fullest potential, the user must use a specially-made scalpel with an extremely thin but sturdy blade costing at least 3,000gp to create to the exact specifications listed in the book. Though the process is nonmagical, the knife itself may be magical to assure it is sturdy enough to slice through tougher skin and bones while retaining an edge as fine as paper. The fish to be used must be whole, and must have been dead for less than 24 hours (Gentle Repose can aid in this regard). The process is not recursive, and thus will not work on a fish that has already been used or any additional fish that result from performing it correctly.

The process takes precisely 2 hours to accomplish for any fish of Medium size, with the time halving for every size category below Medium (min 15 minutes) and doubling for every size category above Medium (max 16 hours). If the one performing the process is interrupted for any reason or performs any action except cutting and sorting pieces, the attempt is ruined and no new fish result from it. The one performing the process makes two rolls: Knowledge (Nature) to know exactly where and when to cut, and Sleight of Hand to then make the necessary minute incisions and move the pieces into their proper place. The basic DC for both is 20, and the end result is turning 1 fish into 1d2+1 fish.

For every 10 points over the threshold the performer succeeds the Knowledge (Nature) check, +1 additional fish is created. For every 10 points over the threshold the performer succeeds the Sleight of Hand check, the dice size increases (from d2 to d3, to d4, to d6, etc). The process is exact and cannot be rushed, and because each slice must not only be made at specific angles, but also specific times in relation to one another, the performer cannot take 10 or 20 on the attempt.

No one can say, precisely, where the excess mass comes from, but it is a clear violation of the universe's physical laws. As such, performing the process too many times in quick succession, or on especially unusual (or unique) specimens, may attract attention from cosmic forces with attitudes varying from amused to hostile, at the DMs discretion.

[monstersdownthepath]

Something I've pondered about for a while now but considering his status and since I've asked about Razmir already but do you think that the child god king of Mzali has a herald?

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Not traditionally. Walkena is god-like due to possessing divine blood and divine power, but he has no divine realm, no divine servants, and no power or influence outside the Material Plane. He may be descended from the Old Sun Gods, but he has not joined them.

The closest thing he has to a herald is his own high priest Zubari, the Guiding Ray, his 15th level Cleric, but any of his Inner Circle could potentially work as stand-ins for a more "active" Herald. Take a peek (from Undead Unleashed, pg. 58):

[monstersdownthepath]

Joke idea for your thing ealri

Death by Heath insurance

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Already a thing!

[monstersdownthepath]

1am inspiration hits me again. I've reworked a few of Vodani's abilities, again, this time tinkering with Happy Hour and Intoxicant, as well as clarifying and cleaning up a bit here and there.

Happy Hour was reworked. The spell-likes that were originally conveyed by the ability was moved up to his actual spell-like list (Enhance Water was removed entirely for a few reasons), allowing me to condense the ability a bit more. The healing he gained from it was slightly increased, but the restorative effect was replaced entirely by a 10ft shift in any direction he wants without drawing AoOs. Since he can do this as a swift action, I'm hoping this will allow him to be a significantly more chaotic presence on the battlefield. The ability was shortened and streamlined, making his special ability block look much more pleasant (to me).

Intoxicant was buffed by literally just a +1 to its ability score damage, and clarifying language was added to convey it did indeed inebriate the victim while the ability itself was shortened a bit.