#likely i will forget all this and have 0 rational thoughts

[angelpuns]

Raughhh I'm fine rn but frustrating to think that I haven't been able to like - just relax and enjoy things lately cause I'm too busy overthinking and having a constant anxiety attack ( exaggeration ) about nothing

[accirax]

initial thoughts on DCAS episode 11

oh my god

i had already guessed that Alec was lying (much like Jake did), but this was a really nice explanatory touch! Alec and Riya's friendship is, as usual, one of the season highlights for me.

would've been a lot more interesting if the campers could have chosen their own partners in one way or another, imo, but that would definitely eat up a lot of time in an already packed episode. plus, some pairings (like Connor and Riya) probably couldn't have happened this way, given how Riya wound up reacting to Connor.

"alright Fiore, here's how we prevent you from going home this week," one could say.

i was SO worried that Alec was going to have another confessional at some point being like "lol i was testing my acting skills on Fiore too" but he DIDN'T. which means this is CANON. THE ADOPTION IS BACK ON!!!!!!!!

okay, i actually love the decision to pair Hunter and Grett together here. both of them are the "very flawed but kinda mistreated partner of their appearances-obsessed date," so it makes sense that Hunter could give Grett a good perspective on this. also, is it just me, or did they rework Hunter's personality in this episode to be more like S2? i liked it.

i'm going to put every Fiore and Alec moment in this post and you can't stop me. i am initially thinking about them.

"joke's on you fucker i didn't teach her literally any of this. she's just built different."

as much as i enjoy Alec appreciating his daughter's sass, this does seem like a pretty radical heel turn from "i only voted Connor out of this game because it was what was best for him." i guess maybe spending time with Riya and the other villains has caused Alec to fall further off the deep end/forget about Connor's genuinely nice qualities...? or it's inconsistency between different writers, who knows.

i am 0% a jul(?) shipper, but, damn, the jul shippers were eating well this episode.

Yul is such an interesting little guy.

James flexing his character arc, we love to see it.

WHAT IS IT WITH THE CYAN WOMEN AND SECRETLY BEING JACKED????

society..... it's becoming more utopian........

see, this is why i didn't think Tess would be the one to return to the game.

Aiden is such a hater, i love him. but, overall, i agree with Lake. we're definitely sowing the seeds for a Jake redemption(/winner?) arc and a heroes' reunion.

Riya, finally finishing what she started in S2 of making the gays fall off cliffs.

villains are so fun. i love villains.

THE SOFT DAD SMILE IS BACK :D

ooh, nice callback.

this is an objectively funny screenshot. why does Alec yell like that

what a surprising outcome! (/s /lh)

:,) <3

i wish Aiden and James had more of an opportunity to talk during this episode :/ it's fine, though-- i think that James and Lake's characters were used more effectively this way.

they're getting back together after this trust me guys i'm disventure camp

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

they truly are family now. i love it.

"not that bad" is a weird way to describe your would-be crush.

this will be a fun scene! idk which episode "Saturday" will be, though. both because idk how many days will pass in any given episode and also bc i don't recall which day today is in canon.

i do wonder what evil Gabby is doing here. i guess maybe it'll just be the side of Gabby that wants to run with the villains alliance for power vs the side that wants to follow Ellie's advice? that seems kind of weird. maybe it'll be more like the side that wants to go mad with power on the revenge quest vs Gabby's more rational and strategic side? either way, strange cliffhanger.

can't we just have everyone here... always... all the time...? no? okay :( well, it was still really nice to get the whole gang back together for this episode. i'll look forward to seeing them again in the finale.

and, hey, Connor's back in the game now! and he can't be eliminated next episode, at least. are there going to be three players with immunity...? that could get spicy. we'll see how the heroes and villains smack down when the next real elimination rolls around. back up to ten to nine again... see you next time!

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Hey mutual *wink*

Anywho so I’m a little hermit and I only read the same like 9 fics over and over again and I was re-reading What We Become and I was like what the hell happened to the Professor? Like did he try to figure out how to fix himself or did he embrace it? Like what happened to my boy Professor Membrane and also their MOM?!

(If you’d prefer to leave this to the audiences imagination and not answer then it’s chill)

Also I ADORED how you wrote that fic with vignettes :0

Have the bestest day, thank youuu!!

What We Become (link for reference; warning for new readers that it's a doozy). I gotta put that on ao3 eventually, huh? I think if I do though I'll split it into quarters. Thoughts for another time.

B r u h because tell me why I wasn’t already following you??? I was so confused when tumblr recommended me your blog and I was like, uh, yeah, I know, I follow them already??? But apparently not. I have rectified this crime post-haste.

Lmao because what a vibe, I do the exact same shit. I love burning through new stories but I also my precious handful. It’s such a comfort to have a story in your back pocket that you already know you like, ready and waiting for you whenever.

SO, Professor Membrane eventually learned to live and adapt. I think I touched on it briefly but he eventually is into the changes that the serum cause in his body. Not sleeping or eating as much is great, because it leaves more room for SCIENCE!™️ to happen.

I don’t think his relationship with Zim could ever return to what it was pre-serum. Membrane facing the reality that his own neglect led to a literal sci-fi monster creeping into his life—and that of his kids—long enough to for him to trust him so blindly is understandably traumatic. Zim could’ve killed him on purpose, on accident, on a whim, etc. A boy he treated like a son was actually a creature who deeply betrayed all of them, even if he didn’t mean to. That’s something you can maybe forgive, but never forget. So Membrane gets to live forever, yayay, and learns to adapt to his new body. But there’s a boundary between he and Zim that never really goes away completely.

There is however also a new bond, eventually, much longer down the line. As ill-executed as it was, Membrane would also eventually recognize that Zim acted out of love, not cruelty. He wanted his loved ones to live forever, and THEIR loved ones to live forever. Zim also does everything in his power to make the transition as comfortable for them as possible. Check-ups, vitals, the occasional medicinal or technological remedy to any and all hiccups that have or might happen. The effort is recognized.

Mama Membrane is actually not someone I thought about in the “yay everyone gets to live forever” category, but oooh what an interesting question.

If we recall, Zim traded the Tallest for a limited amount of serum. Three precious vials. But he bartered the serum, not the recipe. Three was all he got.

I like to think he considered Mama Membrane, but only got so much leeway with the Tallest. He was already asking for a lot. Something had to give. He had to prioritize.

It would be a hard pill for all of the Membranes to swallow that she wasn’t included in the bargain. It'd also be further complicated by the fact that even if they did have extra serums, they wouldn't be able to ask her consent. Given how disastrously sudden-immortality had on a mentally stable, highly rational man like Membrane, the reality of the situation would be simply that, vial or no vial, Dr. Mrs. Membrane wouldn't have been able to join them in immortality. It'd probably be incredibly painful, even with the rationalization that, immortality or no, they would've one day had to face her eventual passing anyways. It'd just emphasized how unfair her sickness was, and how much it'd robbed from all of them. Just super unfun and really shitty in general.

I think it might motivate them to start seeing her more, if and when she could tolerate it. Check in on her more frequently, and deal with their own traumas about what seeing her awoke inside them. Maybe everyone gets the therapy they need to face the living ghost they let the very real, unwell person their mother/wife was. Maybe immortality might make them better appreciate the finite, and be more willing to face hard things when they knew they only had so long to do so.

[zorkaya-moved]

zarina had the biggest character development arc in obey me out of all verses tbqh.

all because: 1) she is in a position where she is literally at the bottom of the food chain. she came from the human world. she was AT THE TOP of the food chain, fought her way there, suffered her way through there, but got there. in devildom? in the celestial realm? she's like a dust particle before ancient powers. it hits her pride, but also slams her survival mindset: how can I survive and flourish? how can I protect my family from this??? 2) forced to accept that aside from humans, angels and demons are actually real. and witches too. which means that there are far more things to take into consideration when she lives on 3) her survival instincts kick in a bit too hard in the beginning because she has 0 information, and it means getting it at any means possible while making sure she won't die. 4) almost dying countless times because of some of the demons' inability to control their power, attempt to use their powers on her, or plains lower demons trying to get at her with pranks that could end in death if she wasn't smart/quick enough or she didn't have one of the brothers by her side 5) her masks don't work on demons like lucifer, diavolo, barbatos... it's hard; the fact that they see through her acting rubs her the wrong way. it was usually her being able to play her way out of any situation, but here it just doesn't fucking work. she needs to learn new techniques, be smarter, be quicker, be more adaptive. they force her to be less stubborn and learn flexibility 6) accepting magic because now it's an essential skill. she didn't want to learn magic at all because to her it felt like it goes against all of her hard work with working out, with studying, with military training, etc. however, she sees it's essential... and even... fun. and it's challenging 7) she had to ... forgive belphegor. for killing her. in the timeline she appeared in. she watched him, learned about him, but she'll never forget that. she'll NEVER forget that. but she forgave him. that's a massive fucking character development. it was the hardest thing for her to do. i mean, if she forgave other brothers for ALMOST killing her (aside from mammon), then she concluded it was logical to forgive him as well. logical. rational. yes. 8) understanding that in those 2 moments when she was 'supposed' to die, lilith's spirit actually protected her and saved her. meaning that if not for lilith, she would've died. twice. in the human world. thus, her accepting that she owes to lilith to ... understand the demons, the angels, and these news worlds. she owes it to her. 9) when she became a threat to 3 worlds and had to choose between stabbing herself or lucifer to sever the contract, she concludes that - yes - she doesn't want to die, but if it means protecting her family in the human realm and those people she came to care about, then she'd rather die herself. she's a human. but there are pillars of powers like lucifer who must live on to keep the balance. so, yes, stabbing herself was done out of 'i'm not as important in terms of power as thes people are, but also I have those I need to protect.' 10) luke got the best treatment right away because he reminded zarina of her youngest brother aleksey. but simeon? took a bit. she didn't trust his kind nature at all because she thought that angels are less trustworthy than demons due to how cynical she is, but... took year(s) to understand that he is genuine. she also apologized for her behavior because she's an adult and she must acknowledge her wrongdoings.

Zarina, altogether, remains the same: ambitious, confident, and adaptive. A survivor and fighter at heart. She has to learn how to be less judgemental, how to look at others in a new light, and be honest about her experiences with emotions. About how and why she behaves the way she does. How her past affected her. She needs to learn to trust and let them in, which she hadn't done since her team. Building relationships with others may take time, but it does develop. She's still selfish, but she is FORCED to learn to be more flexible. She is FORCED to break out of that ice. She is FORCED to face the changes.

[jonathankatwhatever]

Still continuing 12 Jan 2023. I don’t want to touch either of the earlier posts in case something might happen. I might erase something by accident or while correcting an error I only notice because I’m adding to the earlier post. I might walk away and forget the post, and then have the app crash.

There are two thoughts. One is that I see a line of counts of 1, meaning 1Segments. And each 1 blossoms into an entire structure. One rendition of that is as SBE3, as the representation of D9, when rolled up on itself as grid squares. Note that this also means a count of 36 because each grid square is D4 on its own. So, counted as grid squares in two senses, 1 by 1 and 4 by 4. We’ve gone through many iterations of the 4:1 relationship and how it reflects the concepts of IC and 1-0-1 pathways. I think I can link those better: the 1-0-1 pathways in IC take you to anything, including yourself continuing to exist. That is the exact meaning of non-specification - FINALLY! - that if it includes your own continuing existence, then it really can be anything at all. That may be the longest outstanding issue, dating all the way back to the first formulation of the concept. It’s been lurking there, and I know I’ve said this, probably even written it down many times before, but it wasn’t proven before now. This is mechanically how it works: it doesn’t know you from shinola. So, there is a process change when specification occurs. That specification is when you know you, to some sense from other stuff.

That connects to the Storyline: to some sense from other stuff means specification occurred, the mechanical act of distinguishing self from self, which means comparing differences. Stop there. Comparing differences is Halving in Triangular because that is where process enters Triangular so it becomes grid squares. That is what we used to label as the Ghost to the Irreducible. Because you have the other Irreducible, you have the comparison through the composition of the views. That composition must go over a bridge or it would be easily unraveled. I see some. As in, the Ghost is accurate to some degree, which means it matches or fits 1-0Segments, which literally can mean that every non-fit is rejected as a 0 in exchange for the infinities of fits along the 1Segment. That’s a very compelling image.

That is a process line, one which is real and which Ladders, which means it has rationals constructed over it in various ways, so you can take slices of infinity. That’s the point of uncountable, that it can be sliced into countable infinities.

And what that means is the imaginary unit circle appears because now we’re counting to the other End and then back, as opposed to counting there and back at the same time, which is implicit in counting one way only as though it’s the only way. So, we’ve generated reals along the line as the segmenting of the fit of the Ghost to the Irreducible, so you can see how this process builds to both sides so this generates G to I in both cases, which then links those cases by what they build, which is the ultimate argument for cooperative identity.

Wow. I mean wow wow wow. Cooperative identity means what the 2 Ends generate Between them. And that led me into a condemnation of those who won’t cooperate and who believe in destroying things because they have found a justification for doing that. And those who have a need to provoke such behavior. This gets very interesting and very complicated.

So, I want to isolate this D10 counting. It has to be in the string of grid squares because that is what rolls up to SBE3, and that is what is invoked in every count of D9. So D10 rolls up from outside the SBE3: that is, if you add a grid square, you add it to a corner and that means 8 possible locations. If you add to a non-corner, it doesn’t roll all the way up, like before. So what has happened is that you’re filling one of those Attachments. Taking it through: if those Attachments are the 2 Ends, then they are attaching one of those Ends. Those Ends are the IC of the corners, with 8 external dimensions and 8 internal for 16 again.

So, we’ve counted 10gs and rolled that up. It can’t roll up the other way, meaning you can’t stick one more in the middle without moving everything. That makes a count of 4gs in the first run. That should be how we generate 16 up to 25, by adding rows and columns. When all that potential is counted, you get 25gs. So a count of 10gs, when rolled, generates a count of up to 25gs. So, CM100 divide by IC, by the 1-0-1 pathways in both sK and zK, and that is 25gs, which is D10 rolled up over each of the snake paths, and with those layers completed, meaning we infer gs along the L-count. We’ve gone through L7 to L9, which only counts odds.

So, D10 is also D40, is also D22, is also D22, is also D9 internally, with a total dimensionality of 31. Or 10-10-2-9, etc. And it forms a D4 over the length of the chain. That connects this directly to the gs prime processes because we now have a reason for comparing: the prime is when the process of forming D4 is only true over the length and over the Extent of the grid squares. All others have additional process at that count. So D10, is a D4 but it has 2 D5’s in it.

I need a break. This has been one of the most nerve-wracking days ever. BTW, the mail was that I owe about $10k and have until mid-April to protest, which is fine. I was expecting worse.

And it’s been an astounding level day otherwise. I hope to have the opportunity to look at this anxiety and laugh.

[tennessoui]

Your Hades-Anakin might just be my favorite Anakin you’ve written! I just love the intensity and possessiveness he has, and I admit I have a weakness for men who hate/dislike everyone in the world except their person.

How long does it take for Persephone-Obi-Wan to adapt to the underworld, and having subjects for the first time, etc, and does Anakin help him with this or just give the advice of ‘I love you, so they’ll love you😍🥰😘’??

omg!!! i'm so glad you sent this ask because it reminded me that i got about 3k into the sequel for that fic (where persephone!obi-wan and hades!vaderkin meet on mount olympus during the summer and it's all pining and duty and secret rendezvous etc....) before closing the tab for some reason and forgetting about it :0 so instead of answering your questions like a normal person, here's the first 800ish words of the sequel!!! (featuring sad obi-wan mostly)

-

Around him, flowers bloom and birds sing and fawns stumble up onto spindly legs and fall forward after only a handful of steps. Obi-Wan looks upon it all with dispassion, hands falling in front of him to rest on his lap as he sits on the ground. A dark red flower nudges at his hand, begging as they all do to be taken home and loved by him. His thumb brushes over its soft petal, and he murmurs an apology.

This early in the springtime, he has no heart left to give to beautiful things. His heart, along with his mind, is trapped far below him, possessed by his husband.

His husband, who must be a right terror these days. His husband, who has forgotten how to sleep without Obi-Wan’s body pressed up against his chest, in his arms. He sends a prayer of patience for his husband’s advisors and servants and court. Ahsoka had joked upon his most recent return, six months gone now, that it was a miracle the spirits of the realm had not yet overthrown their ruler during Obi-Wan’s absence, such a headache he was those first few months.

Privately, Obi-Wan wonders if his father does not think the same thing about him. The son Qui-Gon Jinn meets at the mouth of the Underworld once a year is not the son he had lost to her maw so many years ago. And no amount of sorrow or guilt on either of their parts can ever return him to his arms. He has been lost, transformed.

Now he kneels in a meadow of flowers and aches for home. The unforgiving stone walls decorated with precious metals and gems, his hammered bronze throne perched next to his husband’s monstrous obsidian one. The embellishments of rubies and sapphires and emeralds his husband has decorated his palace with, all in the shape of flowers, all in an effort to make Obi-Wan smile.

“Obi-Wan,” his father’s voice rings out across the meadow, sharpened from fear. “It is almost sunset.”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes and reminds himself again that his father loves him, that his father’s worry stems from a rational place. But really, he can’t help but think, the odds of him being spirited away to a forbidden realm and falling in love with its king twice are fairly low.

Mostly because Anakin would throw a fit over such a thing.

“I’m coming,” he murmurs, knowing his father will hear him despite the distance between them. He moves to stand and, after a second’s thought, snaps the stem of the flower. It dies happily, knowing that it rests safely in his hand. “Tell him I miss him,” he requests in an undertone, knowing that all dead things must pass into his husband’s realm.

His father is wearing a frown and standing at the entrance to their abode. Obi-Wan hands him the flower gently.

“There is dinner ready,” Qui-Gon tells him, accepting his gift. Gods do not need to eat, and certainly he had never had as many meals with his father before he went and found a husband, but he tries not to begrudge his father during their time together. It may feel long on some days, but their time together is short, halved.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan says. “The spring’s harvest is bountiful this year.”

His father stiffens for a second before he relaxes. Obi-Wan had not meant offense, but it is a difficult subject to broach even in passing. They’ve had plenty of screaming arguments about the amount of mortals Obi-Wan sees in the underworld during the winer months, all dead from starvation.

“I meant nothing by it,” he says quickly. They have forgotten the natural rhythm of their conversation during Obi-Wan’s...elopement and subsequent disappearances. They always do. The first several months are always like this. It doesn’t make it easier.

Where Vader lashes out with anger and petulance at Obi-Wan’s absence, Obi-Wan pours himself into the bloodless wound, its doleful caretaker and watchman that his father does not now how to handle delicately. But yet always, eventually, in the months of high summer when the trees are dark green and the mortals turn to harvest their bounty, he becomes Qui-Gon’s son as truly as he can be anymore.

“Your presence was missed in Olympus today,” Qui-Gon says as they take their seats at the table, two gods playing mortal.

“I have no interest in Mount Olympus,” Obi-Wan replies by rote. They have had this same conversation since Obi-Wan was a little godling. “I am happiest here, my feet on solid ground and surrounded by this world’s flowers.”

“Are you?” Qui-Gon murmurs, tapping his fingers along the wood of the table. “Are you still?”

Obi-Wan freezes, and when he manages a smile, it sits stilted across his face. “Do not ask questions you do not want to know the answers to, father.”

For the rest of the meal, they eat in silence, the red flower on the table between them. He wonders if his father knows that the only thing Obi-Wan thinks of when he sees that color is the purple-red of a pomegranate’s skin.

[dinosaurtsukki]

⸺𝓉𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓀 15: lollipops + pop rock candies

i should be over all the butterflies | a chuuya x gn!reader smau

a/n: okay ngl the written part here has 0 proofreading just like the final essay i'm about to submit for class also damn i love chuuya

𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓊𝑒𝒹:

"i can't believe they had crazy dips there. i haven't had these in forever!" chuuya heard you giggle excitedly as you two left the convenience store.

"i can't believe you still actually bought some," he added.

"you act like you weren't the one who actually got a cavity and had a tooth pulled out from eating too many crazy dips," you smirked and playfully bumped your shoulder against his. chuuya didn't even bother to sidestep it.

"whatever. can you open mine? my hands are kinda full."

"got it."

chuuya held both convenience store bags full of water bottles and a hangover cure or two specifically for ranpo, who had been throwing up for a good while, in his hands as the two of you made your way back. a while ago, when he left the bathroom, chuuya was more than a bit shocked to find that you weren't in the garage anymore. after all, he remembered that you normally didn't do well in parties and he was worried that trying to bring you out of your shell would only make you want to crawl back in even further.

good thing oda said you just went out to buy water and chuuya happened to move quick enough to catch you. and right now, he was watching you tear open a package of crazy dips with your teeth and dipping a lollipop into the pop rocks with utmost concentration.

"here's yours," you said, handing chuuya his pack.

"thanks."

"this brings back memories," you sighed as you ate your lollipop. "remember when i accidentally dropped mine and my mom told me to throw it away?"

"and then we tried to wash it off with a nearby water fountain," chuuya laughed. "but then your mom caught us and threw it away for good."

"i was crying so hard," you pouted and chuuya could almost see how you looked back then with tears streaming from your eyes and your hands wiping at the snot on your nose.

"and i gave you mine to shut you up," he said.

"you did? really?" you looked at him in disbelief.

"of course i did! what do you take me for?" chuuya watched as you scrunched your eyebrows while struggling to remember.

"yeah, you did," you laughed softly to yourself and dipped your lollipop back into the packet of pop rocks. "you know, i never thought i'd forget about something you did for me."

"it was literally just a lollipop, y/n," chuuya chuckled.

"we both know it's more than that," you said and there was no way chuuya would possibly miss the shift in your tone. 'i guess we're talking about that now, huh?' chuuya thought.

"was it... my fault that we lost touch?"

"we're both too old to point fingers now, chuuya," you shook your head. "i mean, it was also kind of my fault for ignoring you."

"but it all started at the party, right?" chuuya said. you nodded slowly, biting at your lollipop stick.

"kind of."

chuuya guiltily remembered that night when the two of you were invited to your first party back in high school. it was actually him who who really wanted to go and actually make new friends after being one of the most unpopular people back in middle school. of course, you said yes because you couldn't say no to your best friend.

"i'm really sorry for ditching you," chuuya finally apologized. "and for making you go home by yourself that night. and, for everything else after."

it had been eating him for the longest time and finally saying it out loud was a weight off chuuya's chest. especially hearing you laugh and lightly punch his shoulder.

"sorry again for posting that embarrassing video of you."

"i guess we're even then, huh?" chuuya smirked.

"we're even," you nodded. "we're cool."

the two of you were just a few blocks away from tachihara's garage and chuuya kind of wished you were both farther just so he could have a moment longer outside. right now, you were digging through your packet for more pop rocks with your lollipop.

"they never put enough pop rocks in this," you pouted, coming up empty.

"no, they do put enough pop rocks you just load your entire lollipop at the first go and don't ration it out," chuuya snorted. you pouted and continued digging through your packet.

"here, have the rest of mine," he said, handing you his own packet of pop rocks. you blinked at him, unsure, before smiling and dipping your lollipop in.

"thank you!" you sang.

"yeah, yeah. you owe me more crazy dips next time we go out," chuuya said. 'next time, there's gonna be a next time,' he thought happily to himself.

he missed this: eating crazy dips and always making sure to have some leftover pop rocks in his packet just in case yours ran out. he missed walking home with you beside him and how he'd almost always go out of his way to make you happy. chuuya missed you, and this moment was more than enough.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

masterlist | ↞ prev next ↠

⸺𝒻𝓊𝓃 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓈

↠ get yourself a man like chuuya who'd give you his extra pop rock candies also the crazy dips lollipops look like feet i just realized that now

↠ in case you're wondering about more details as to what happened during The Party (the one with high school!y/n and chuuya) the previous chapter does give a hint

↠ nobody told ranpo he had to eat something substantial and that the fruity cocktails are the most alcoholic ones please pray for his stomach

⸺𝓉𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

@kiyoobi ​​​​ @atsumusdomain ​​​​ @laure-chan ​​​​ @goodfoodxoxoxo ​​​​ @guardianangelswings ​​​​ @kei-ya ​​​​ @loisuke ​​​​ @whootwhoot ​​​​ @liz-multifandom-hotel @kac-chowsballs ​​​​ @violentfarewll @fyoyacanruinmylifethanks ​ ​​​ @nightmare-light ​​​​ ​ @miyakiyo0mi ​​​​ @whorefordazai ​​​​ @rirk-ke ​​​​ @cross-crye ​​​ @alohablue @duhsies ​​​ @alittlesimp @tetsustation @https-inarizaki @himboos @magpiemissy @hanazou @monochromaticelliot

reblogs and comments are much appreciated

[eve6262]

some rhaast thoughts

There’s nothing worse than silence. It’s a slow killer, infecting your mind like a parasite, nibbling away at the edges of your mind until it gets to the center and you think, wait a minute, isn’t something wrong? Not silence as in the absence of sound, mind; the absence of everything. An abyss, of nothing created by nothing for nothing. Nothing, a perfect 0 that loops like a circle, without even the slight oval dimensions the number usually holds. A 0 shaped like an O. Silence.

It was that, for a long, long while. And then Kayn picked him up, and life has been very loud.

Loud- colors, sounds, a battle- is overwhelming after a perfect silence for so long. Initially he was hurt, wincing every time another light broke its way into his vision, but he didn’t dare complain or show weakness because then he might be thrown back into that silence prison, and all he needed was time, surely.

Time passed, and now he’s used to it. The colors aren’t so sharp anymore, the world isn’t so fast, Kayn isn’t so strange and loud.

“Good morning,” he says to his scythe, brushing his hair while the thing rests on his lap.

Good morning, Rhaast replies, idly watching the mess on his head turn into a sleek black waterfall. It has taken them an eternity and a day to reach this point, seven strange conversations, three days spent melodramatically ignoring everyone else, five hours of betrayal, a minute to murder the people who used to live here. A man and a woman, relation unknown and unimportant, because for now this is Kayn and Rhaast’s house and they are confident the Kinkou will not chase them this far. The daybreak proves it, as there’s not a soul nearby.

Well, there are souls, but none of them living. Ionia is a strange country.

There is, admittedly, one small problem. Zed could and might follow them, try to address this himself. Kayn, he can feel, fears the man, though for different reasons than Rhaast. He thinks that Zed could defeat him, or manage to confiscate the scythe and force him never to stay together again, or perhaps kill him on the spot; but his scythe knows better than that, knows that the leader of the Kinkou is nothing but a coward and an idiot who relies on the shadows that do not love him. The shadows would despise him, no longer grant him his wishes, if only their Queen was awake.

Is that a true story? Did he make that up in the void of nothing, or is it a distant memory that got eaten by time?

His breakfast today looks alright. A mess of rations he had smuggled away, taken with him when they fled, plus whatever they found in the little abandoned house in the forest. Some fresh bread, meats strung up, eggs freshly harvested from the wildlife, considering the lack of a coop. “Better than I expected.”

Of course. They weren’t exactly expecting to die.

“With how old they were? They should have.”

Usually there’s jabs and nonsense and idle conversation with these two, never a dull moment. But now, instead, they’ve found a comfortable silence- and isn’t that funny, the thing he used to abhor- to rest in. Will it eat at the edges of his mind again, until he forgets slowly even the life before this, with Zed and the Kinkou and some nonsensical fight for power when, really, they’re at their strongest as a team?

There are so many stories in the edges of his mind that he can’t figure out the veracity of. Is is true that there was once a reigning emperor of the sands with feathers and a commanding voice and a penchant for men? Or maybe the tales of the Elderwood, a forest not dissimilar to Ionian magic but with gods sealed below the size of mountains and with the power of Targon combined? Surely the Aspects of Moon and Sun have changed- are they still lovers? Surely the Aspect of War has changed- are they still a peaceful tactician who prefers the strategy of war to its more bloody parts?

Was any of that ever true? Are there parts he’s missing, parts he’s added? He knows, mostly, three things: Kayn is with him, Zed could find them, and he has a brother named Aatrox.

Everything else seems to be triggered by happenstance. For example, once, on a trip that led them to the mountains, they met a child with longer hair than their body that faded into the different colors of the sky and he knew, right then, right there, that the old Aspect of Twilight had died, and this new one was named Zoe and that she was very, very annoying. Somewhere else- the location he’s fuzzy on- they met a darkin with a bow and he recognized Varus and called out and his brethren responded “Oh, you’re gay too?”

His brother would have slain that man in twain. Kayn, assuming the darkin was talking to him, responded, “Who cares?”

Secretly, Rhaast thinks Zed would have hated him for it. He seems like the type. Maybe he’s just never “understood” that sort of attraction, or maybe he has an age-old crush on a friend that he pretends doesn’t exist by pretending it can’t be true. Perhaps both, in a way and form, where that interest went unexplored and misunderstood and pushed away.

“Rhaast.”

Yes?

“Did you not hear me?”

No. Say it again.

“Honestly.” He sighs, rolling his eyes. “I was asking you what you want to do.”

Why?

“Why?...I...”

Don’t have anywhere to go, huh.

“Don’t say that.”

Not in a bad way. But no direction.

“Yes, I do. I want Noxus to fall. But I’m not doing that alone, and not now, so.”

He thinks for a moment, then responds. Shurima.

“Why Shurima?”

I want to see what’s left of Azir.

“Who the hell is- ...you know what? Sure. Shurima it is.”

--

thought I wanted to write ship. turns out I just wanted to do Rhaast character studies. (also, the line about Azir liking men is a hc of mine that you can interpret as false or true)

~Eve6262

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 20

The Darkling x Reader

He carried you to your bed that night, gently slipping off your kefta and taking out the uncomfortable hairpin in your hair while you slept like a baby.

Zoya had barged into his office earlier and mentioned that you were swarmed with duties so naturally he did was had to be done and took it all on himself for that day. Your door felt no vibrations from knocks after Zoya left and the 'accidental dozing off' turned into your full night sleep with Aleksander by your side yet again.

You were furious as you woke up, to say the least. Your enraged muttering breaking Aleksander's sleep as you whipped out from under his arm and out the bed. You only dared to shoot him a look of displeasure before you slammed the door shut as you left. He barely registered your body running around the room, nevermind the nasty gaze sent his way

'Good morning to you too'

****

'Is everything in order?' You were still fixing the kefta belt as you approached the head of guards.

'Yes Deputy. We've been letting performers in for about an hour now and it's all going smoothly.'

'No requests to see the Sun-Summoner?'

'Plenty, but we've taken care of them just as Zoya Nazyalensky told us to.' He curtly nodded, tilting his head in the way of the prison-holding cells.

'I'm glad to hear that.'

As you went to see how Marie's kefta was coming along, you found the room empty and her nowhere to be found, the seamstress looking equally as confused as she entered the bare room. You caught Genya heading for the Vezda suit out of the corner of your eye and called her name loudly.

'Marie is late to her kefta fitting, like very late. Do you have any idea where she is?'

'I think she may be with Alina, I'll be sure to fetch her' she said and waltzed away from you.

'Genya wait!'

'Yes?'

'When you get Ms.Starkov ready, give her this ring' You dug around in your pocket for the metal ring and handed it to the red-haired Tailor. 'Make sure she's wearing it.'

'Of course Deputy.'

You watched her white kefta diminish behind the doors and sighed loudly, going down the mental to-do list of the morning. I'm already tired.

*****

'Have you seen the Deputy?' Aleksander asked Ivan as they headed for his chambers.

'Last I seen she was helping conduct perimeter checks with Fedyor.'

'Good.' He wanted to see you in your winter fete kefta, silently hoping you chose to keep with the black but he knew he was being greedy. He can't have both you and Alina.

'Get her for me, I need to speak to her.' Ivan nodded and turned back around in search of you, clearly displeased at the task.

Putting his lust for you away, Aleksander returned to a working state of mind. He needed to speak to you before the fete started. It was essential you heard what he had heard from the Grand Palace.

He retreated to his chambers and began to get ready for the fete until a certain someone entered the room unannounced.

***

'Deputy Y/L/N, the General wishes to speak to you.' Ivan was at your door with a glum look on his face as a team of ladies tended to your hair and face.

'Now?' You laughed but he only shrugged. You rolled your eyes and signaled for them to finish what they were doing and let you leave.

The ladies frowned but stepped away, clearly dissatisfied. Not only did they get a late start due to you chasing Alina and Genya down on the Palace courtyard, but now they had to finish early too. You had yet to change out of your kefta and into the fete's outfit but for now, you ignored your appearance.

All that mattered to you was that the evening went smoothly and without security threats and if the General requested to see you, you would be there to discuss whatever had gone wrong. This is Ravka after all, something always goes wrong.

'I'm coming, relax your frown for once.' You joined him at the door and walked silently alongside him to the Darkling's quarters. The Palace was buzzing with life as foreign ambassadors took up residence in the rooms and servants prepared the spaces with brimming luxury. Ravka needed to display its strength and wealth today and if it meant meticulously counting the fresh roses in each room, that was what was had to be done.

Although your demeanor showed a relaxed and posed facade, you were very stressed. You hadn’t gotten enough sleep recently and given your extreme training schedule before you arrived at the Palace, the amount of time you spent using them now, or lack thereof, had managed to dwindle you mentally. You were hanging on by a mere thread.

Ivan knocked on the door for you before moving away to the side. You didn't wait for his response and just walked in but stopped short when you looked ahead. The Sun-Summoner you had scolded not even 30 minutes ago was standing in his quarters, looking like a deer caught in headlights. He stood next to her looking equally as red-handed. Realization flooded you that you had interrupted an intimate moment between the two summoners. You cleared your throat, trying your best to act normal.

'You requested to see me, General.' His head tipped up at your collected demeanor, wondering whether you felt the tension too.

'Yes, I did' He moved around to the table, walking past Alina who decided it would be best she left and got ready. You smiled at her as she left, muttering some pleasantry about seeing her at the fete but deep inside the jealousy began boiling in you despite your attempts to rationalize it.

'Y/N -'

'Let's not talk about it. Please.' Your voice was a whisper, a strong contrast to the voice Alina heard. 'I agreed to the plan, I have no right to argue with you.' You feebly smiled. His stare was pitiful on you but he did as you asked.

'I need you to speak to the Queen when she arrives at the Little Palace.'

'Why?' Your face contorted into an expression of confusion and disgust, quickly forgetting about what just happened.

'My intel tells me she is in awe of you. Genya overheard her speaking to one of her aids about you and a possible position for you in the Grand Palace'

Your eyes widened at his words. You had been tolerating the Queen like a toddler, giving into her whims and tantrums in hopes of her staying calm, not in hopes of being whisked away to work for the crown.

'Are you serious?'

'Yes'

'Saints' The weird headache was back, settling into the back of your head like a dull drum.

'Listen to what she has to say'

'Do you think I would accept whatever she has to offer? You'd be a fool to assume I would even consider it.' He turned away from you, displeasure obvious on his face.

'I just ask that you entertain her. And would it really be so bad? Whatever it may be, it would aid our course substantially-'

'All I ever wanted and needed were my Grisha, Aleksander. That's why I came back, not for the Lantsov Crown.'

'I'm not forcing you into anything Y/N. Just listen to her.' His voice was soft and gentle like he was lulling you down from an outburst but you knew he was plotting, taking every advantage he could grasp.

'Alright.' you sighed, still processing all the information at once. The Queen, The Fete, The Grand Palace, Alina, and Aleksander. It was clouding your mind like a fog. 'I should go get ready' Your mind was bursting at the seams with thoughts and speculations, you needed to have some alone time and you prayed to the Saints 20 minutes would be enough to put yourself at ease.

He reached out for you but you were already moving to leave, leaving him hanging in his chambers with a look of sorrow on his face.

Your feet dragged you to your chambers with little energy but much heaviness. The Summoner blue gown and kefta hanging on the door were glued to your gaze as you debated even going to the fete.

Within a span of 10 minutes, Aleksander had somehow managed to overwhelm you to the point of a lingering breakdown. You weren't sad or angry or jealous, you were overwhelmed, your mind was blank yet full and it made you want to cry. The stress of the last couple of days did not help either.

But alas you got yourself together, wiping the lone tears away and putting on your fete attire. It was heavy and comforting, like an armor ready to be destroyed as you entered the battlefield. The foreign diplomats were to meet you today and bring word back to their home countries about the Witch, the Deputy Commander of Ravka's Grisha Army and you would look the part too.

You held your head high and radiated the most powerful energy you could muster while you walked to the makeshift throne room before the official start of the fete. She was sitting there next to the King looking every part of a Lantsov Queen.

The crown settled on her head nicely and looked to be of perfect fit as you approached her, curtseying and making pleasant conversation. It was draining to listen to her empty stories in anticipation of what you knew was coming. In a shocking reality however, you had no idea what she was really thinking and neither did Aleksander, or Genya, or anybody.

It wasn't until she grabbed your wrist tight in her hold and made you kneel next to her in the empty room did you freeze and crumble beneath her. The King was watching eagerly with his head held high and a smirk on his face. In that moment all you were was their subject and she was the Queen, commanding a commander. You were no General, or Grisha, or high ranking officer. You were simply a girl who held their eyes for too long. A girl who was not simple but regal.

It was nothing short of debilitating. The facade crumbling and crashing to the ground with silent thuds while the words stuck in your head like a pulsing bee sting.

'We wish for you to marry my son, my dear Nikolai'

--------

Part 21

Shockerrrrr I know but don’t worry for those who haven’t read the novels, I will not be introducing Nikolai as a character. Maybe I will when I decide to move this to AO3 but not as of right now.

Taglist (tell me if you want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess @lunas1x1 @adoringb @grisha-of-shadow-bone @rosiethefairy

[binniesthighs]

1-800-Be-Mine | reader x minho | sfw

happy valentines day!! this lil fic of mine is something very new and different from what I’ve tried before and I’m so so excited to share it with you!!

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x lee minho

Genre: fluff, sci-fi, futuristic au, valentines day special! 

Tags: strangers to lovers, sci-fi au, futuristic au, blind date au, AI au with a twist, mentions of food and alcohol, featuring hyunjin, tiny heart-shaped confetti of comedy and rebelling against the man lol, fluffy growing feelings 

Warnings: Minho’s character in this is an adorable, charming, feeling, AI robot. haha idk if this is a warning but it might not be everyone’s cup o’ tea, if so, that’s why I’m mentioning it :) 

Tagging: @stayhavens​ thank you for allowing me to be a part of this event ❤️

Word count: 7.1k 

“If it’s the color of your shirt that you’re worried about, I don’t think that he’s gonna care.” 

“--I can’t believe that you’re putting me through this. I didn’t even ask for...whatever the hell this all is.” 

“You’re getting worked up over nothing, Y/n. This whole thing is literally the lowest commitment thing that you could ever do on Valentines Day.” 

For the twentieth time, you held up the shirt and hanger over your torso in front of you streak-stained mirror. It shouldn’t have mattered much, or even at all, but here you were, wondering what color a synthetic human would like on your body the most. 

With feet in the air, your best friend swung his feet with pointed toes and eyes glued to his phone. 

“Quit looking at me like that.” Hyunjin didn’t even need to rise his head up to feel your glare. “He’s programmed to forget about you the second that your time runs out, so, I really don’t know why you’re wasting your time over this.” 

One more time, you switched the creamy white satin for the wine-red velvet. 

“God, this is so depressing.” The shirt hangers clinked together where you threw them down on your bed. “It’s all your fault too.” 

“I can’t see why you aren’t excited for this!! I literally made it so he’s perfect for you. There’s like, a 0% chance that this is gonna go badly. You could spit escargot into his lap or get his tie stuck in the car door and he’d still think that you’re the best thing ever. You can do no wrong.” 

“That’s the point...” 

The floor started to look a lot more appealing in your despair. If you were making a dramatic show for yourself or for you friend, you had no idea, but somehow it felt a little better letting your body sliiide down the side of the wall into a little pool of half-done make-up and hair still damp.  

“Stop throwing a tantrum.” Hyunjin scolded. “You have to be there in 45 minutes.” 

“What if I...just don’t show up?” 

“Then, you’d be robbing me of $360 and the most expensive gift that I’ve ever gotten for you. And, you’d break my heart. I don’t wanna be heartbroken on Valentines Day. I’d hate you forever.” 

“Nooooo you wouldn’t.” You tossed your forehead into the palms of your hands. 

“I’d hate you for a month probably.” 

“Don’t you have somewhere that you need to be?” As expected, your hands were smudged a bit from the tiny dusting of eyeshadow that you had added to your lids. 

“I told you already, she doesn’t get off until 8 so I’ve still got time. Besides, I already set everything up back at the apartment. I’m in no rush.” At last, your friend cast aside his phone on the mattress with a bounce. “Get up. I’ll help you. You should still look nice anyway...even if he doesn’t care. This night is about you anyway.” 

»»————-　♡　————-««

Is satin supposed to feel scratchy...? What? Satin being itchy? ...You must be going crazy if you think-- 

“--Annnd we’re here!” 

The wheels of Hyunjin’s less than glamourous car skidded in front of the hotel with an obvious screech. He was never one for being a good driver anyway. With the pull of his hand through is blond hair he nodded his head for you to open your door. 

“Time’s ticking. It’s nearly 7.” 

“--Jin--” 

“I’m not explaining it again. Just go do the damn thing. You’re overthinking it. Like you do with everything...” 

Your best friend rolled his eyes which were blue today: a part of his own Valentines Day outfit: that of which he looked much better than you thought you had. He had slung his arm over his steering wheel looking on, and even more impatient with you by the second. 

“Is it a fucking crime to be nervous??” 

Hyunjin laughed out sharply. “You’re so cute. ~Especially when there isn’t anything to worry about.~” 

You flicked him hard on his perfect arm covered by his perfectly planned and billowy white top. 

“Would you like to go out there and meet him if it’s so easy?” 

After a subsequent eye roll, your friend reached his long arm to pop open the car door on your side. “You’re not going to make me drag you, are you?” 

“I can get it myself.” You growled, shoving his hand away. 

The February air was crisp, and just cold enough for your breath to appear lightly in front of your face. Immediately, you started to regret everything: the itchy satin shirt (which you guessed probably wasn’t satin) the stiffness of your styled hair, and the way that your feet felt in the pair of shoes that you had broken out just for the occasion. You had even put perfume on; something that a “strictly deodorant” person as yourself found to be suffocating and odd. 

Do Mirrors even have a sense of smell? 

On the busy street, cars whipped past with headlights of yellow and red, and the bustle of the holiday evening buzzed on the sidewalk with couples marching down the way arm and arm and hand in hand. The energy of the evening seemed vibrant almost as if the whole world seemed to be slightly more awake. The plastic heels of ladies in their best shoes clicked past. 

“Good luck!” 

Hyunjin mustered up the most genuine smile that you thought possible for him to craft considering it wasn’t genuine in the slightest. 

“Text me about it tonight--or--actually, not tonight, I’ll be...” He obviously winked, “...busy tonight.”  

“You’re disgusting!!” 

You slammed the car door in Hyunjin’s snide smirk while he laughed out a “Love you!” before speeding away without a care. 

The remnants of old snow caked up in the corners of the hotel where Hyunjin had arranged the date. The hotel itself was very old fashioned looking, almost like it had come right out of one of those old movies he would tease you for liking--it was probably why he had chosen it, you thought to yourself. There was a large golden marquee with a strand of lightbulbs tracing the edge all around it much like an old-timey theater, which gave the name for the hotel. At the doorway made of the same golden hue, there were attentive bellhops in matching blue velvet uniforms and leather gloves that they blew in to to keep their hands warm. 

When you thought more of it, the night was a bit colder than expected, so you pulled your coat closer to your body. Hyunjin had suggested that you wear your pea coat, however it’s warmth factor wasn’t something to write home about. He had something about how it had made your arms look good...as if he would care anything like what your arms looked like. 

You pulled out your phone with your cold fingers to find the information that Hyunjin had sent you. 

Name: Lee Minho 

Model: Generation Four 

Specifications: Personalized 

Service time: 7pm-12am 

Instructions: Meet at the front entrance of the the hotel The Grand at exactly 7pm where the Mirror will be waiting. Mirror will look like: [see image] 

You hovered your hand over the little see image tab. Before, you had decided that you didn’t want to see the picture, and rather leave it as a surprise. That was the thrill of a blind date, right? For a moment, you rationalized it as peeking so that you knew what he looked like so you could find him. You hovered, and hovered... 

“No, I shouldn’t...” You whispered out to the open air while you shoved your phone back into your pocket. 

“Excuse me?” One of those attentive bellhops had snuck behind you and rose a caring hand to your shoulder: an action which made you jump. “Is there anything that I can help you with? Are you waiting for someone?” 

“Oh.” You straightened yourself. “Yes, I am waiting for someone. They’ll be here really--” 

“--Is it me that you’re waiting for?” 

He had strolled right up to you, and you could barely form the words on your mouth to say “yes.” You had heard the stories about Mirrors before, but as far as you had known, this was your first time ever seeing one this close...and you wouldn’t have even known that he was any different from the flesh and bones that you knew you had. 

He was devastatingly handsome; the kind of handsome that models were. Every single one of his features seemed to be carefully planned and calculated down to the little freckle on his nostril and his nose bridge of a perfect angle. Even his physical proportions seemed to be perfect: his arm muscles curved in wonderful angles under his black suit jacket that had one button at the front. He was dressed simply: merely a black tux with a white button up underneath and a deep navy blue tie. His chocolate brown eyes were a bit unique, looking even slightly cat-like. 

Not like you had a type, but if you were to have one, he definitely would have been it. 

He smiled upon seeing you, and coolly adjusted his silver cufflinks which you noticed had an insignia on them that looked a familiar: it was that picture of the eye with the spokes around it, the symbol of 3rdEyeCorp. As expected, everything in life seemed to come with a branding: even synthetic humans. 

“Should we go inside?” 

His voice was gentle and soothing, the kind of voice that you knew could lull you to sleep or convince you to do things that you wouldn’t want to. It was a voice that could put you at ease, and you wondered if that was intentional. Perhaps Hyunjin had told them that at times you could be neurotic. 

You finally squeaked out a, “Yes.” then followed him towards the soft glow of the magnificent building. He had slipped over past you to open the door, letting you enter first. 

“Oh...thanks...” 

As you passed him, you could have sworn that he smelled like some kind of citrus scent. In fact, you didn’t know that he could even have a smell. This was but one of the many questions that had been plaguing you for the past couple weeks since learning of Hyunjin’s plan. 

It wasn’t that he smelled like a person: that kind of earthy scene mixed up with the lingering scent of shampoo on hair, or a bit of mint holding to the corners of your mouth after you had brushed your teeth right before you exited the door. Still, you didn’t mind the citrus, it was better than nothing at all, you assumed. 

He walked up to the maître d with perfect posture, and it was then when you noticed that you were slightly shorter that he was. His suit was pressed, and a line ran down the back directly over his spine. 

“2 for L/n?” He said properly, and it felt strange hearing your last name come from his mouth. 

“Right this way.” 

He looked back at you, almost as if to see if you were doing okay. He held a little glint in his eyes that looked careful, caring even. From the very few words that he had said to you, he still maintained a composure about him that was...human. He was comfortable. 

The three of you reached the table with the ironed white table cloth, small bouquet of red roses and two flickering tea candles. The lighting of the room was dim as all restaurants such as this were, and there was a light hum about the room coupled with the occasional clink of silverware on China. There was a fireplace to the corner of the room, and the dense smell of expensive wine hung in the air. 

The maître d placed down the menus. “Your server will be with you shortly.”

You thought the small action a bit comical. You were the only one who knew his secret. Still, he nodded with a polite smile. “Thank you.” 

The satin fabric on your shirt scraped at your bare chest, and you attempted your slyest attempt at making a tiny itch look nonchalant. He picked up the menu with a few of his brown strands dipping over his eyes. You studied him as he looked it over, not having a clue why. You thought that you had heard somewhere that his kind couldn’t eat. Perhaps he was a new model. 

“I’m sorry. I haven’t formally introduced myself yet.” He put the menu down with a little embarrassed smile. “I must’ve forgotten. I’m Lee Minho.” 

“I know.” Your cheeks felt hot. “Uh-and I’m Y/n. But--you probably knew that too.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Smile lines crinkled under his eyes. It was the first imperfection you could find about him. 

“Yo-you too.” 

Minho reached out a slender and pale hand for you to shake and you stared it in a moment of fear. You had never touched a Mirror before, much less wondered what they felt like. 

“I don’t bite.” He chuckled out a small laugh that was much too cute for his own good. His shoulders then appeared to relax and he allowed himself to slouch. “At least, my model doesn’t.” 

You choked out an ugly chortle at the joke. “Ah. I see.” 

“You don’t have to be scared of me. I promise that I feel like anyone else.”

You took it, jumping a little at the sensation. He was warm--not exactly like you expected him to be cold and metallic however. The skin of his hand was cracked and grooved as normal, and it was squishy as if you could feel the muscles that would be underneath. 

With a warm grin, he soothed you saying, “See?” 

‘Oh...mmhm.” You shook his hand firmly. “Holy shit that's really creepy.” You muttered the words as softly as you thought you could have. 

“Creepy?” He laughed out again. “Should I be offended? No one has ever called me creepy before.” 

“Oh! Um, s-sorry, I didn’t mean--” 

“--It’s okay! I was just kidding. I completely understand. Especially if this is your first time meeting someone like me. It is your first time?” 

You nodded drawing your hand back with the warmth from his hand still lingering on yours. 

“Let me know if there is anything that I can do to make you more comfortable. Seems like...we’re meant to be too.” 

“--Meant to be?” You nearly dropped your cloth napkin to the ground. 

“I mean, based off of your profile, they thought that I would be best suited for you. And you know...the programming and all that.” 

“Oh! I guess so...” 

Next, you thought it best to busy yourself with that glass of water that was looking very oddly refreshing. 

“I meant to tell you as well that you look very nice. I think that color suits you very well.” 

Drops of water got caught in your throat, “T-AHEM-this?” You pinched at the fabric. 

Minho’s eyes widened at your sputtering coughs, signaling to a waiter to come fill your glass once more. 

“Sorry, was I not supposed to say that?” 

“No! No no, it’s...you’re fine. I was just a little surprised.” 

“Surprised? Why?” 

“I just didn’t think that you would...nevermind.” 

Even though you had nearly choked yourself seconds ago, up went your water glass to your lips once more. 

Minho fidgeted with his bangs with his pinky finger: a surprisingly vain little task. Under the dull lighting of the whole room, he did look very handsome; almost much too handsome to be in such a place with you. All at once, you became suddenly aware of the irregular patterns of those eyes peeking at you from their own tables with haughty and whispering words on their lips. 

“You look...very nice as well.” 

“Mm thank you.” As charming as ever, he gave a smile back. “This is my first time wearing this. I actually picked it out myself. I thought that you would like the color.” His pale fingers ran down the silk indigo tie. 

“You thought about it too??” 

“Thought about what?” 

A snide smile crept over your mouth. Hyunjin could eat his words. 

“Well do you? Like it?” A curious little smearing of worry painted Minho’s brow that was once again must too cute for his own good. 

“I-I do like it.” 

In all honesty, Minho would have looked good in anything, you thought, no matter how ridiculous. Under the thin white cotton of his shirt, you could see his toned pectorals as well. One pinch to the side of your leg was just enough to scold yourself. 

He looked around himself in a bit of a silent wonder: from the rafters of the high ceilings painted in gold leaf, to the speakeasy on the far edge of the room with the posh looking bartender.  

“I always thought that places like this were kind of stuffy.” He wrinkled his nose. 

“You...what?” 

“There's always someone at one table wondering if they look better, rank higher, or are more successful than the person at the other. Don’t you think the same?” 

“I mean...I think they do keep looking us?” 

“Ah. I noticed that too.” 

Minho looked around himself carefully, then leaned in closer towards you. “Do you think that they know that I’m...you know?” 

You snorted out a laugh covered by your hand. “What? No? How could they?” 

“A hunch.” 

“Can you even get hunches?” 

“I may be a robot, but I can still read a room.” 

You hushed him, “Shhhh! Say that any louder and then they’ll really know.” 

A waiter in a black apron sauntered up to your table with a thin moustache and a big of a sagging face. He looked a bit less like a real waiter and more like a cartoon one. 

“Good evening. Have you finished looking over the menus? Perhaps a bottle of wine to start you off? We have a new house merlot that I would highly  recommend.” He reached a spiny finger to point at the name on your menu. “It would pair particularly well with our specials tonight. Seeing as it is Valentines day--” 

The droning of the waiter continued on, and you had noticed that Minho wasn’t paying any attention at all. Rather, he had settled his gaze on the flickering of the candles, and the yellow light sparked in his pupils. For mere seconds, you could see something a bit different about them: a extremely thin circle of blue-white light around his irises.  

The waiter pulled out his pad with an expectant gaze. 

“Uh-yeah, I-I’ll take that. That--whatever-you-just-mentioned.” 

He appeared puzzled. “You wish to start with the special orange Crème Brule first?” 

“Ah-no! Sorry, can you..” You cringed, “Repeat what you just said?” 

He rolled his eyes, but did respectfully as he was told while you sunk further into your chair with Minho’s teasing smirk. This time you listened to the specials, even though you decided you didn’t even want one, but rather picked one of the cheapest items on the menu. That was one of the drawbacks of paying for your date: he had no obligation to pay for your meal. 

The waiter looked even more puzzled when Minho said he wasn’t ordering anything, but shrugged, burying his pad back into his pocket saying, “I’ll be over with the wine shortly.” 

“Do you want to know something?” Minho leaned back in once the waiter was out of an earshot. 

You treated yourself to yet another sip of your emptying glass, and nodded. 

“There’s at least four others like me in here.” 

“Four? How can you know?” 

“I think I’d know my own kind when I saw them.” 

“I would never be able to tell.” 

The waiter returned, showing the label to the wine to both of you before popping it open and pouring it into glasses with the twist of his wrist. Two drops from the crimson top stained the little napkin he used. 

Minho’s hands toyed with the stem of the glass, but didn’t take a sip. 

“That’s why they call us Mirrors.” 

“How do you mean?” 

“Because you’re supposed to see yourselves in us.” 

»»————-　♡　————-««

Your body had started to warm with the energy of the room after long, and your appetizer of escargot had arrived. Oddly, since Hyunjin had mentioned it before, it embedded in you an odd craving that you couldn’t satisfy until you had some. By now, you had realized that Minho likely wouldn’t have been eating with you, but it was strange: even the other Mirrors in the room appeared to be. 

“I’m assuming that you can’t eat then?” You popped the buttery taste into your mouth.  

“Yes. It doesn’t make sense for my...biology. If you can call it that. I can’t digest food nor do I have the mechanisms to do so.” 

“Maybe we should have done something that didn’t include food then.” 

“I do have something though! I know that eating alone like this can be uncomfortable.” 

He grabbed inside his inside suit pocket and pulled out a wallet: thin and black leather. It had almost nothing in it save for what looked like a iridescent square. Over top of it was the same logo on his cufflinks. He flipped it around his fingers like a playing card. 

“What is it?” 

“My dinner.” He sated matter-of-factly. 

“You’re gonna...eat that? Maybe you shouldn’t--”

He placed it neatly in front of himself, pressing the surface and it morphed into some kind of three dimensional polygon shape of pixels, both large and small, until it settled into a perfect copy of your dish that you had sitting in front of you. 

“It’s holographic.” 

“Of course it is.” 

“Newest in tech at 3rdEye. This is my first time using one. They thought it would be a good idea to send the prototypes out with the Mirrors tonight for the beta test. What do you think?” 

“It’s very...realistic.” 

“It’s pocket sized, and it can really transform into anything that you could want, but of course...its still not really solid. Perfect for me though.” 

He took a bite of his escargot with an equally holographic fork. 

“I imagine that it tastes very good.” 

“You can’t taste things?” 

“Unfortunately, no. Since I don’t need to eat, don’t know why I would need to. I’ve got all the other senses though.” 

The house merlot was bitter on your tongue and full bodied. You couldn’t imagine what your life would have been like without taste. He chewed on, and somehow the action really did seem comforting. 

“You’re very um, open about yourself. You know...talking about yourself so bluntly. I feel like some people when they do these things, they just want to keep on that suspension of disbelief as long as they can; pretending that you're--” 

“--A real person?” 

You hadn’t intended on it coming off as insulting, and a “sorry” formed on your lips. 

“--I’m not offended. And, you’re right. Most people do. But, I could sense that you were different. I don’t have a problem telling you about me. Something told me that you would like to know.” 

“Something?” 

“Enough about me though, lets talk about you. You’re a doctor aren’t you?” 

“-For animals. Nothing too crazy. I’m working up my way to have my own practice some day. For now, I’m just doing nurse type stuff. Giving immunizations, checking teeth and stuff like that.” 

“I read your thesis. The one from your pre-vet. I thought that your research was very interesting. How come you didn’t continue on with animal behavior?” 

His string of questions made you crack out into laughter. Never had anyone you had ever dated said that they had read up on you. 

“I can’t believe that you just said that.” 

“What? I had assumed that you might want to talk about something that interests you like that.” 

“That was...so long ago, I don’t even think about that paper anymore.” 

Minho took some of his wine down with a polite dab of his napkin to his lips. 

“How about hiking then? Or those Frank Capra movies that you like? Which one is your favorite?” 

“Stop, stop. This is--” 

His eyes widened. “Did I misspeak again? Your friend said that it would be okay if we did the proper research--” 

“--Just...sorry, it’s strange that you know everything about me already and we’ve hardly just met.” 

“I’m not following.” 

“Can you just...forget like, everything you know about me for a minute? This is supposed to be a blind date isn’t it?” 

“I can do that.” Minho tightened his tie. 

“How about we talk about something else?” 

Minho nodded in agreement with a determined tiny grin. “I can tell you about what I do?” 

“You have a job?” 

Your prompt waiter appeared with a giant silver platter which glinted in the light of the numerous dancing candles around it. The ceramic plates clinked into the glasses assorted on the table, and he lastly offered out freshly grated parmesan for your pasta. You said “when” and he was just as quickly out of your way, but not after granting the both of you one more questioning glare. 

“Yes.” 

Your date flipped over his holographic square, and soon it transformed into another spitting image of your meal. 

“I’m supposed to tell you that I’m a college professor of ornithology but since we’re being blunt here, my job is working for 3rdEye, and doing basically whatever they ask of me. Including this. And actually...” He twisted a string of noodles around his fork. “...I think that it’s going pretty well.” 

A quick giggle erupted out from you. “I’m glad that we’re being honest because you do not look like someone who teaches twenty somethings about birds.” 

“But if I had said I did, would that have made you like me more?” 

“Maybe. I’m sure that they picked that because I did graduate research on migration and flight patterns.” 

“Likely.” 

“Maybe I should have stuck with animal behavior. Then we would have had more to talk about.” 

A silence filled the space between you as you tried your best to eat your pasta with as much grace as you could. Of course, you were still one to get it on your lap and the table cloth, but luckily you had a napkin to protect you. Your date on the other hand, ate as if he was eating with the queen herself. For several moments, you really did allow yourself those brief moments of ignorance: you really were just two people, sitting in a fancy restaurant on Valentines Day, eating a meal together, on a date, as an normal two people would do. Every few moments too, he would look at you with a type of gentle adoration in his eyes too. 

And it felt nice. 

It really was as effortless as Hyunjin had said. You would be eating your words on this one. 

At last, you had scraped out the last chunks of tomato and vegetable bites from your shallow dish, and you sat back which a sense of drowsiness clinging to your eyes. Over time, you had slumped deeper and deeper into your chair as you felt your body warm with the fireplace. You didn’t mean to look, but your watch had read just past 9 o’clock. 

“That all tasted good.” Minho sighed, and slumped along with you. 

“I thought you couldn’t taste?” 

“Ah. You’re right. Well, I enjoyed eating that with you. Did it taste good?” 

“It did.” 

“Should we get some of that orange Crème Brule from earlier?” 

You folded up your napkin on the table. “You mean should I get some of that Crème Brule? I’m the one paying here remember?” 

“Are you?” 

With the stretch of your arms, you answered, “Not today. I don’t have that doctor’s pay...yet.” 

“But shouldn’t you eat something sweet on Valentines Day? Isn’t that also what its about?” 

You laughed, “I don’t know where you heard that, but no, it doesn’t.” 

“Ah, I see. My understanding of the holiday is very jumbled. Holidays are like that for us. The sort of emotional attachment to them is hard for us to understand. I’ve watched millions of hours of films to understand them...but--” 

“--Millions?” 

“Yes?” 

“That’s…insane.” 

“Not for me.” He said with a happy little grin. “Should we be leaving?” 

In one motion, he swept up his shirt sleeve, just over his wrist where you had expected him to have a watch. Instead, a faint blue glow emerged on his skin making letters and numbers that you couldn’t read as well from upside down. 

“Hm. 3 more hours. What else would you like to do with our time together?” 

»»————-　♡　————-««

The winter cold bit at your ears while the two of you walked together down the busy urban stretch. Even later into the night the giddy excitement of friends ambling down the streets and couples linking to eachother with tipsy happiness could still be found everywhere. You barely knew him, but you still felt in some way compelled to reach out and interlock your arm with his as those other couples did. You had a half a mind to reach out to him, but another half a mind to keep your arms wrapped around yourself. 

But, as if he had read your mind, he reached out his hand behind him to quietly slip your arm into his. 

“Put your hands in your pockets.” He asked, and you did so. “I figured that you must be cold, so...my body heats itself too, makes me more...you know.” 

He was warm. Much warmer than your entire body felt had felt then, but still you noted that the tips of his ears and nose had turned pink. 

“Where to?” He questioned next. 

“I-I’m not sure. I didn’t think this far.” 

“I could pick?” 

“You know where to go?” 

He was silent for a moment, then nodded. “There’s a place that I wouldn’t mind going to. Do you know how to skate?” 

“Ice...skate?” 

He huffed out with a tiny smile, and you noticed that when he did, no visible molecules could be seen in front of his face. 

“Do you? I can pick something else? It’s not everyone’s skill.” 

“N-no. I can do it.” 

You don’t know why you had said it: perhaps you felt as if you had something to prove to this inhuman person, or you really did want to go there with him, no matter where it was. 

You had never learned how to skate in your life. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

The ice rink was lined with pink and white string lights: likely a Valentines Day decoration. Plastic hearts made of fuzzy tinsel also decorated the edges of the rink and sparkled under the lights. It had been built into the center of a public park, and bodies huddled in winter coats sat together on the benches to the side, waving at those they knew when they slipped past. Tinny music played over the outdoor speakers: it was some pop song that you had heard before, but didn’t know the name of. 

Minho laced up your skates for you, and even then you noticed that his knuckles had turned pink too. 

“Are you...cold?” 

“Oh! This?” He turned his hands around. “No, I’m not. it’s just another one of my humanisms.” 

“Humanisms?” 

“Something to make me look more like you. When it’s cold outside my body senses it and does this.” 

“I see.” 

Even if you knew that he couldn’t possibly feel things in the same why, he was damn convincing--and you couldn’t help but think it was unbearably cute as well. 

“Done! You ready? You can take my hand if you want?” 

You stood wobbly as a deer taking its first steps. Walking on the blades was much more difficult than you would have guessed. He didn’t need to ask twice for you to grab hold. 

“I’m assuming that you know how to do this?” 

“There’s a lot of things that I know how to do.” He winked. 

The second that your feet met the ice, you felt your heart start beating into overdrive with your anxiety of falling. Over the ice, it too felt colder, and that didn’t help much either. With one hand you clawed to the side of the rink, and the other dug into Minho’s arm. 

“I thought that you said that you knew how to skate?” 

“I lied. I’m gonna fall on my fricking face and its gonna be the most embarrassing thing ever. Worse than spitting escargot into your lap.” 

“Spitting escargot? What?” 

“Just--can you help me?” 

He tittered with an adorably warm laugh and grabbed back at you firmly. “I won’t let go.” 

Even the toddlers in their little training bumpers were more skilled than you. Minho was patient, and coached you through the skills of the left and right motions of your feet and getting into a rhythm. You still flapped your arms around wildly like a wobbly penguin, but he was eventually able to coax you away from the wall.

“See! You’re getting the hang of it!” 

“Really?” 

Minho nodded profusely, letting go of both of your hands to hold just one. “Stop looking at your feet and just look at me. You’ll trip yourself up focusing so hard.” 

Other couples whipped past you, and you thought it best not to look at how easy it was for them. 

“I-I think that I’m doing it!” 

Minho’s eyes lit seeing you start to swing your feet back and forth. In that pink lighting of the rink, you could see that thin ring of light around his eyes once more. Even though it was unnatural, you still thought that it looked beautiful. 

“WATCH OUT!!” Came a distant voice from behind you. 

Before you had a second to turn around, a fuzzy blur came barreling into you. Two small bodies: a couple middle school boys chasing each other, came colliding with your teetering body, forcing you to fall to the hard ice with a terrible thud. 

“Oh my God! Are you okay?” One of their pre-pubescent voices cracked. 

“I-I’m fine...I think.” 

Your air had been knocked right out of your lungs and your butt ached with a sharp pain that you hoped you wouldn’t be feeling for days. Both of your hands were wet with ice from the contact. Minho quickly offered you his hand up.

“-You okay?” He brushed ice off of your coat. 

Truthfully, you were horribly shaken, and your chest shook, but you lied once more. “I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.” 

“No you’re not.” His worried eyes studied you. “Lets get you something warm to drink okay?” 

»»————-　♡　————-««

“One hot chocolate please.” 

Minho fiddled with his wallet, picking out that same iridescent square from before. As soon as his fingers touched it, it glimmered into a credit card. 

“It can do that?” You had uttered, but he gave you back a cautious glare. 

The man at the little coffee stand took it without question, and somehow, it worked. 

“$3.15″ He monotoned, and gave the card back. 

The white Styrofoam cup warmed your hands instantly, and the chocolatey steam delighted your nostrils. 

“Thank you. You didn’t have to.” 

“It’s no problem. I wanted to.” 

You took a sip, but a strange silence befell over your date, and he furrowed his brows. 

Under his breath, he repeated the word “...wanted?” 

The further that you walked along the river together, the less that you wanted to take another look at your watch where it peaked out from your coat sleeve. You imagined that it must have been nearing almost 10:30--optimistically. Instead, you took long and purposeful sips of of your drink and indulged in the way that the heat would seep down from your throat and all the way down your body. 

Onward, one of the great and massive bridges of the city blinked with an array of multicolored lights: some from cars, others from the way that it was decorated to look a bit like shining stars. Under the lights, the navy-black of the river reflected the fractals of light. The walkway was nearly empty of people except for the odd couple sitting and cuddled up by the edge of the water. The water should have been frozen, but it didn’t appear to be giving up just yet. 

Your companion had drawn quiet with eyes cast down to his walking feet. You had half a mind to reach out to him... 

“Is there anything you would like to do?” Your question filled the quiet, but you didn’t expect him to stop in his steps upon hearing it. 

“Are you asking me if there is anything that I want do to?” 

“Yes...?” 

Minho was again quiet, then turned to look at the vast expanse of the cityscape in front of you both. 

Suddenly, he began, “Valentines Day is a holiday that has to do with loving, doesn’t it?” 

You stammered at the question in your confusion, but still answered. “Yes.” 

“You express love on the holiday? You show people that you love them, and that you care for them. Right?” 

“I think so...but why are--” 

“--What do you think that it means to love something?” 

Distantly, cars honked, and music boomed out from drawn down windows, and it floated in the evening air. 

For you, loving was something that was second nature. It was little bits of happiness, fuzzy feelings, but it also ached, and felt like being lost. How could you possibly begin to describe what it meant? 

Minho’s eyes were full of intrigue and even maybe a twinge of desperation. Could Mirrors even hold such a thing in their eyes? 

“I-I’m not sure how to cover it all, but, I guess that I could say that loving something, or someone, is to want them. You want to be around them, you want to see them laugh or smile, you want to make them feel that you care. I don’t think that it is much more complicated than that. 

The man appeared even more confused, almost like he had been computing his own mental calculations right before his very eyes. Then, all at once, his eyes softened. 

“If loving something is to want it; to have desire, desiring is the first step? Love must be simplier than I thought that it was, and maybe...I think that I can do it.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Minho swept up his hands in yours after casting aside the cup to the ground. 

“You asked me if I wanted to do something. But the thing is...I don’t think I’ve ever wanted do to anything ever before in my life. It was just, what others wanted of me and what I colud do for them. Not me.” 

Realization swept over Minho piece by piece, and soon it all unfolded for you too. 

He drew your arms and hands around the back of his neck to pull your body closer to his. 

You might’ve looked before, but his lips looked soft and unbelievably sweet: like melting snowflakes, whipped cream, or the fuzzy flesh of peaches. 

“I do want something.” He said at last. 

“Minho...what are you saying?” 

“I-I can’t tell if what it is that I’m feeling is some kind of algorithm, or I’m just...you’re so...different.” 

“I hope that you’re not just saying this all--” 

“--I’m not! I’m not. I promise...an-and Mirrors can’t lie.” He laughed out. “How can you make a machine that’ll lie to you?” 

His hands crept up your sides, and all the way up to cup your face in his hands.

He was impossible. In every way, but he was real. As real as the warmth from his hands and as real as the way that his mouth appeared to wet with saliva and how you could count the tiny moles on his face. 

“Well, what is it that you--”

He had drawn your face close up into his, then closed any space that divided the two of you. Your lips parted with his into a meeting of his plush lips that were even softer than you had imagined. Even though you knew he couldn’t taste it, you flooded the taste of chocolate into his mouth, and your body shivered in the way that he ran his tongue over your bottom lip. He wasn’t intrusive, but rather curious, and thrilled. Any semblance of him that was any less than the skin that you felt on yours faded, and you poured yourself all back to him. His fingers held fast to the sides of your face while he kissed back every with every bit of him that he could. Even in the one moment when your eyes had fluttered open, he held his eyes closed, to focus only on you. Your own wondering hands laced into his fuzzy locks. 

Each and every kiss that he painted across your lips was laced with indescribable want: something that he shouldn’t have even known, but you could feel it. He echoed the smile that you had pressed into his lips. 

“I just want to be with you tonight. Just a bit longer. No more timers.” Minho whispered onto your mouth, barely breaking. 

On the one hand, his request terrified you. A Mirror, one who you thought to be unfeeling, pre-programmed, an empty shell, wanted you. But still, you couldn’t control yourself from wanting him back, and everything about him that you knew and didn’t know. Wanting him, was the simplest thing you could have done. 

“I-I want that too.” 

His smile was thankful, and suddenly every little way that his eyes would crinkle or the corners of his mouth would upturn seemed more genuine. 

Minho traced your hands to the back of your his neck where he guided them to the tip of his spine. 

“Touch here.” He guided your fingertip over what felt like a bone. “Press down.” 

You did so, and the patch of skin sunk down a bit like a button. You held his eyes which flickered wholly with that blue-white light you had taken notice of before. 

“Say “Bypass LK2510.” “ 

He held your finger down still, and you repeated the phrase, watching as the light vanished all at once, even that thin ring around his irises. 

“What did that do?” 

Minho blinked a couple time like he was ridding sleep from his eyes, then beamed with a grin that only got wider and wider. “They shouldn’t know where I am for a while. You disabled my tracker.” 

“I did what??? Can’t I get in trouble for that??” 

“Not when I made you do it.” 

In his delight, he pressed his lips back up against yours with a kind of light air that was ecstatic and hurried--it was contagious, and the feeling swept over you until you were just as giddy. You were nearly as giddy as a school child reveling in the mischief of knowing what they were doing was against the classroom rules. 

Your chest swelled with nervous excitement, but it wasn’t nearly as addictive as any drug that you could imagine. 

“Where do you want to go now?” You asked him with hands clinging to the sides of his coat. 

“Anywhere.” 

~~

[nsfw version/ending coming soon on binniesthighs!] 

[tiredbutstillloveable]

OBSERVATIONS OF JAEHYUN IN A RELATIONSHIP

Hello guys! I'm here with another Jaehyun's observations, and just to be clear again, those are my interpretations and ideas of his birth chart and how he may feel those energies in this part of his life,okay? So, here it goes...

AQUARIUS SUN, VENUS, MERCURY IN THE 12TH, VIRGO 7TH HOUSE, TAURUS MOON IN THE 2ND HOUSE

Well, Mr.Jae here it’s a tough one, ngl. He is an Aquarius, which by itself it’s a hard placement when thinking about love, once they forget about themselves, and focus so much in their causes, and in the people, in the groups, and with their friends. Everything seems to be more important than themselves. So, because of this, this super elevated way of thinking, that is 0 self-absorbed, making them to pay attention in your relationship it’s hard.

Another point is, Aquarius love their freedom, and they will be doomed if they get involved with someone who is constantly chasing and suffocating them, wanting to be by their side 24/7. He just can’t...

And all this “aquariusness” in Jae’s case can be raised to the maximum power here, once he has an Aquarius Stellium, and even if he wasn’t an Aquarius Sun, he could totally act like one, and sometimes this placement could be stronger than his own sun.

But this is not a trash talk against Aquarius people, pls don’t get me wrong, I love Aquarius, but we need to recognize that you guys are NOT the MOST romantic son of b in the zodiac, right? Well...I understand that with you guys things are more rational, and I think it’s great too, but sometimes it’s a little exhausting, you know what I mean? Anyway...

They want to be free, but hell will freeze if his partner its all there with someone more intelligent than them. This is a type of treason for them...intellectual cheating to be more precise. Do you want make them jealous? Oh so here it is...go talk to the cool, smart, witty guy and let them there, alone by themselves, with no one to share a single thought...and then, come back saying how original and brilliant that guy is. Yeap...this is it. Good. Luck.

But how this turn out an exposed of Aquarius ppl? My god...back to our beautiful boy here..

Aquarius Venus, so the way Jaehyun’s shows his love is very different, he can have problems trying to put into words his feelings, because again, this is a placement where the person can think and rationalize too much, and this can make them lose the emotional side of the thing. But, overall, they want a friend, a best friend, and once they share their friends and favorite spots, books, and their craziest ideas about the universe and how things really are, you know they like you a lot and this is the way they figure it out to show it to you.

Having his Venus in the 12th house, makes me think he may be the type to dream about the person he’s going to be with. He can have dreams or even day dream about it. Can be very idealistic in terms of love.

He may want a balance between someone tender, lovable, caring, nurturing, someone he can trust completely, stable, and at the same time, independent, free, someone who take care of her/his owns business. A person who is invested in their own things, someone who have their own hobbies, and ambitions in life.

He came to learn a lot through his relationships, love affairs or just his friend’s relationships, he has his north node in Virgo in the 7th house. So, sharing his life with someone, opening up, can be challenging for him. But he is here to learn how to do that, and living and participating in one of the biggest kpop groups can help him, for sure.

He wants someone he can talk about everything with, and will be open minded, and not judgy. He wants someone he can speak freely.

He may not show but, he is an anxious person, he can have many ideas in his head at once, and this can cause the anxiety. So, having someone calm and stable to be by his side in this moment, is what he wants.

He doesn’t want a super consuming type of relationship, he doesn’t want something torrid, and complicated, and intense. He just wants someone who is chill, and can understand him, and support him no matter what. He wants to be with someone he can trust body and soul, and he wants to know this person very well. Like telepathic communication.

He is not the type to rush anything. Everything must be really organic and just take the right time to happen.

He seems distant sometimes, but he loves to cuddle, and hug people, he is super into physical touch, especially with his loved one.

He will buy things for this person to express his love and gratitude. Expect expensive things, and I have a feeling he knows how to give romantic gifts, but he doesn’t know how to act or to be romantic himself, so he may buy gifts that show this side of him.

He wants someone who work and make their own money, because he appreciates ambitious and hard work people.

I can totally see him being the one falling for someone who can cook.

I feel Jaehyun being totally unapologetic about the things he enjoys in life and that are pleasurable for him. He is not ashamed of the things he likes. Period. So, being with someone who can appreciate the same things can be nice for him.

He wants his lover to be hers/his own person, so don’t try to be someone who you think he is going to like, because he can be sensitive about people lying to him, and he hates that. Cannot trust you like this, so it’s a definitive NO for him.

Jae can have a very specific idea in his mind about who he wants to be with, duo to the Venus being in the 12th house.

He can fall for people who do volunteer work, and are selfless and altruistic people with a lot of social conscience.

They could have a karmic connection (12th Venus again).

His relationship will be very practical, and more towards what they need. They will try to help each other out most of the time, and will love to spend some quality time together, having a routine is a nice thing for them.

And those are my thoughts for now guys, I hope you enjoy it 😉

[pepethehobbit]

Take the sadness out of Saturday nights

VDS Week 2021

Day 2: Enemies/Friends to Lovers/ Meet-Cute

Word Count: 6015

(Title from Stop making this hurt by the Bleachers)

Ao3

Lucas heads straight to the bar as he enters the pub. He doesn't really want to be here but he also doesn't want to be at home, where his ex-boyfriend is currently picking up his stuff. Thankfully, he lives with Kes, who stayed there so he can kick him out when he's done. It's been two days since Lucas has broken things off with him and they weren't even together that long. It's not like Lucas was seriously in love with him, which is why he doesn't understand why he's so sad. He orders a vodka soda straight away because he intends to drink until he forgets about this empty feeling in his chest. The bartender sets the glass down in front of him and Lucas takes in his surroundings for the first time since he sat down as he begins sipping on his drink.

At the back of the pub he notices a makeshift stage with a microphone and a guitar already set up. The bar itself is only moderately crowded so Lucas figures whoever is going to perform on there tonight won't be very known. He notices a group of guys directly in front of the stage sitting at one of the bigger tables. Lucas can't make out what they are saying but it's clear that they are excited to be here, so they must know who's going to perform. The sadness in his heart grows heavier as he watches how the guy with the platinum blonde hair leans over to the guy with the curly brown hair to give him a kiss on the cheek and to place a comforting hand is curls. It's the easy familiarity and comfort that even a stranger like Lucas can so clearly see that makes his heart ache for the same thing.

He is about to stand up and leave, suddenly feeling pathetic for getting drunk in a bar all alone on a Saturday night, when he sees someone getting on stage and hanging the guitar around his shoulders. The guy starts tuning his guitar and Lucas is fascinated how the skilled and fast fingers are playing over the strings. He steps up to the microphone, taps it once to see if it's on and only then does he look up for the first time since he entered the stage. Lucas would try and suppress the memory later but he can't deny the fact that his heart skipped a beat when he looked into those eyes for the first time. He knows it's ridiculous but the guy feels familiar. His eyes are emanating a warmth and kindness that makes it hard for Lucas to tear his gaze away.

“Hi everyone. I'm Jens Stoffels and if you don't mind I'm going to sing a few of my songs for you tonight. I hope you enjoy.” Lucas hears excited whoops coming from the table at the front and the rest of the crowd joins in with their clapping. The guy, Jens, smiles at his friends and shakes his head in a way that Lucas can only describe as fond. And when Jens begins to sing Lucas' last shreds of wanting to leave have disintegrated completely. His voice is soft and powerful at once, calming like a comforting blanket and Lucas is in awe at how effortlessly beautiful Jens is when he sings.

During the song Jens lets his eyes wander over the crowd, probably taking in their reaction when he gets to the bar and his gaze stops at Lucas. Lucas feels his heartbeat quicken as a small seemingly surprised smile spreads on Jens' face while he is still singing. He can feel his own smile spreading, albeit much shyer and less open then Jens'. He holds his gaze a few seconds longer before the moment gets too much for Lucas and he drops his gaze towards his drink. Taking a sip from his vodka soda he wonders how such a short moment of eye contact can make him feel so jittery and vulnerably exposed.

Lucas lets Jens' voice and beautiful lyrics fill his ears and mind. His songs are beautiful, from melodic and slow to upbeat and happy and Lucas can't help but chancing a glance towards the man on stage every now and then. He is surprised when at some of those glimpses Jens is already looking back at him. And even though Lucas couldn't rationally explain why, Jens somehow feels significant.

When Jens announces his last song for tonight an unreasonable disappointment overcomes Lucas, not wanting Jens to stop singing. “My last song for tonight is called 'Hoping'. I hope you enjoy and thank you for a beautiful night.” Jens' words are directed at the whole crowd but his gaze is solely on Lucas as he says them. There is a shy smile playing at his mouth and Lucas feels himself blush, but this time he is unable to look away from Jens' warm eyes. Jens begins to play and as Lucas lets the song and the beautiful melody wash over him as he realizes it's about a boy hoping to find love.

It's impossible. Lucas shouldn't feel this affected by someone he hasn't even talked to and yet somehow he knows that Jens is already under his skin. The song ends and Jens sends another thank you out to the crowd and finds Lucas gaze once again, sending him a determined smile. Jens gets off the stage, disappears somewhere backstage and Lucas releases an unbelieving little laugh at the whole situation. He takes the chance to look at his phone and when he sees the message, reality comes crashing down on him like a ton of bricks.

Kes

He's gone now. It's safe to come home.

All at once, the sadness is back and Lucas is reminded of the situation that brought him here in the first place. He is going to go home and he's going to be alone again, because apparently Lucas isn't able to find someone to love. He knows he sounds ridiculous, he's only 21 but with his track record of shitty boyfriends it's hard to believe that he will find someone who will not only accept his love but also return it.

When he walks to the door he chances one last look over his shoulder towards the stage. He sees Jens surrounded by his friends, laughing and smiling and generally happy. And as if Jens can feel the eyes on him he looks up and meets Lucas' gaze, just like he did for the rest of the night. Jens' smile drops when he sees that Lucas is on his way out, disappointment flashing across his face. Lucas falters for a moment, unsure if he's really the cause for such a look. But his insecurities take the upper hand and with one last sad smile at Jens he steps out of the bar and into the coldness of the streets of Amsterdam.

~0~

Jens can't stop thinking about the boy from the bar with the beautiful but sad eyes. It was three weeks ago but somehow this boy, whose name he doesn't even know has planted roots in his mind and Jens can't bring himself to tear them out. The first thing he noticed about him, when he saw him sitting down at the bar, was that he looked sad and Jens was confused about the strong urge to find out why and make it better. When their eyes met during his first song, Jens had to seriously concentrate not to mess up the chords and keep singing. Though he couldn't stop the smile from spreading around his moving mouth when he saw the boy smile for the first time since he entered the bar. Jens was so intrigued by him, wanted to hold his gaze and find out everything there is to know about the boy with the ocean eyes and the artfully tousled blond curls.

But then he just left and Jens felt more disappointed than he rationally should have. Because all they did was exchange shy smiles and hesitating glances, but he can't shake the feeling that it meant more, something significant. He catches himself before his thoughts wander off in that direction again, because in the end they all lead down to the hopeless impossibility of ever seeing that boy again. In a city like Amsterdam he can't expect that he will simply pass him in the streets. And even if he does, the boy left. Maybe he interpreted it all wrong and the boy wasn't interested in him at all, he wouldn't even have the courage to speak with him should he ever run in to him.

His job at the cafe on campus works as a good way to distract him. He only started a little over a month ago, wanting to help his parents pay his college fees and rent. With him studying music he already makes his parents worry about their son's future and he doesn't want them to worry about the money as well. His music also helps, even if just a little. He sells a few CDs but it's mostly over streaming services that he gets a few royalties. It's not enough to make a living out of but Jens hopes that one day he can live off of what he really wants to do.

Jens hears the jingle of the bell when the door of the cafe opens and he snaps out of his thoughts, ready to greet the customer. Only he can't get any words out and freezes on the spot when he sees the man who just walked in. His attention is on his phone, head turned down but Jens  recognize him anyway. The boy from the bar steps up to the counter and Jens is unsure about how he should handle this. Should he tell him? Does that come of as creepy? Would he even recognize Jens? It's the last thought makes Jens decide to hide the fact that he remembers him and he simply does his job. “Hi, what can get you today?”

The boys head snaps up finally and Jens really wasn't prepared to see those blue eyes again. He isn't sure how to interpret the look on his face, a mixture of disbelief and shock, in fact for a moment it looks like he's ready to bolt again. Does he recognize him? The longer the boy stares at him the surer Jens is that he does and a weird fluttering feeling is spreading in his stomach.

“One large caramel macchiato, please,” is all he says in the end, face turning away from Jens. He isn't sure but Jens thinks it's to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks. Jens is about to turn around to start working on his coffee when he remembers he still doesn't know the boy's name.

“Can I have a name for the order?” Jens tries to put on his most charming smile and hopes that the boy won't take notice of the fact that they don't really ask for the names anymore, only if it's super busy, which it isn't for a Tuesday afternoon. The boy looks up again, then around the mostly empty coffee shop and it's Jens turn to blush when he smiles at him, as if he knows. “Lucas. My name is Lucas.”

Lucas. His name is Lucas. Jens can't stop the happy smile from spreading as he turns around to work on his order. He feels Lucas' eyes follow him as he prepares the coffee and it makes his pulse quicken in excitement. Jens contemplates if he should write his number on the cup or if that's maybe a bit too much. In the end, he chickens out and simply tells him his total. “That makes 3,50€, Lucas,” Jens says as he places the cup in front of him, wanting to know how the name would feel falling from his lips. Lucas smiles at him again as he pays for his drink and the fluttery feeling in his stomach comes back in full force.

“Thanks you, Jens,” Lucas says with a slight blush but confidently meeting Jens' stunned gaze. Jens can't do anything but watch Lucas leave once again, but when he turns around at the door to look at him over his shoulder, Lucas doesn't look sad this time. As soon as Lucas leaves, Jens looks down at his apron. A feeling of hope flowing through him and for the millionth time today, he can't stop the smile from spreading on his face.

He isn't wearing his name tag.

~0~

Lucas can't believe his luck. He must have done some serious good deeds in his past life to deserve this second chance. Almost as soon as he left that bar three weeks ago he regretted his decision. This regret only got worse as soon as he told Kes and Jayden about that evening, both agreeing that he is an idiot for leaving. He couldn't stop thinking about Jens, the way he smiled at Lucas and the way his music made him feel. Lucas admitted to Kes that through a little bit of online stalking he was able to find his Spotify and it's all he's listened to in the first week and then deciding that it felt like a little bit too much. He even found Jens' Instagram but wasn't brave enough to press the follow button, scared of the attention that would bring. Because even though Jens has considerably more followers than Lucas, he hasn't gotten enough that he wouldn't notice a new person following him.

He tried not to think too much about him, instead focusing his attention on his current art project he needs to do for his contemporary art lecture. But it's harder than Lucas thought it would be, not thinking about Jens. He comes across so many things that remind him of that night: Jayden got it in his head to learn how to play guitar, Kes is actively torturing him by playing Jens' music on Spotify every time Lucas enters his room and Lucas isn't sure but he thought he saw the guy with the platinum blonde hair in his art history lecture.

Despite this, he thinks that he deals fairly well with the fact that he missed his opportunity with Jens and simply wants to move on with his life. He can't keep wondering what would've happened if he had stayed. And because his life is simultaneously the best and the worst he meets Jens again when he expects him the least. He wasn't sure if Jens remembered him, couldn't really get a read on his expression but when he not so subtly tried to find out his name and when he smiled at Lucas when he gave it to him, the hope of having gotten a second chance to get to know Jens spread a comforting warmth around Lucas' heart.

Lucas wants to go back the next day, hoping Jens will be there again but he also doesn't want him to think he is a stalker or something. So he waits a few more days and then goes to the coffee shop around the same time of day he caught Jens the last time. A giddy feeling makes his way into his stomach when he sees Jens cleaning a table at the window of the cafe. The jingle alerts Jens to his presence as he opens the door and when he meets Lucas' gaze a wide smile spreads on his face. Lucas ducks his head and smiles to himself as he walks up to the counter. There is another barista behind the counter ready to take his order but before she can do so Jens is there to say: “I'll take his order.” She looks at him confused but when her gaze turns towards Lucas and back towards Jens, she just nods once, smiles knowingly at Jens and nudges his elbow as she takes over Jens' task of cleaning the tables. Lucas watches the exchange with an amused smile and then Jens turns his attention towards him. “Large caramel macchiato?” Jens asks him with a hint of pride in his voice for having remembered Lucas' order.

“Yes, please. I want to drink it here though,” Lucas says and he notices how Jens smile grows even deeper. “Okay, I'll bring it to you when it's done. That makes 3,50€ again.” Lucas pays for his drink and chooses a table where he'll be able to subtly watch Jens behind the counter. He gets out his sketchbook and begins drawing random little sketches while he waits. He doesn't notice Jens approaching and looks up startled when he places down the coffee and a blueberry muffin he didn't order. Lucas looks down at the muffin and back up at Jens who answers his question before he can even ask it.

“For you, Lucas. On the house,” he says with a sure smile and a wink, just as Lucas thought Jens couldn't fluster him any more than he already does. Hearing his name falling from Jens lips makes his heart beat faster. He tries to collect his last shreds of composure, smiles up at him and asks: “Do you want to share?”

With a glance to his watch and his eyes shining with excitement he answers: “I'm on break in 30 minutes. Will you wait?”

“Yeah, okay, I'll wait,” Lucas says easily, the thrill of finally getting to spend time with Jens making him giddy. Jens lingers for a moment, returning Lucas' smile before making his way back to the counter. Lucas watches him as he goes and he wonders when the last time was that he was this excited about something.

Lucas tries not watch him all the time, but Jens catches him looking every once in a while and he smiles at Lucas every single time, so Lucas figures he can't be too bothered by it. He turns his attention back to his sketchbook, letting his hand wander across the paper and before he even realized he was doing it, he'd drawn a sketch of Jens, albeit rough but undeniably him. Before he can even think about hiding it, Jens suddenly slips into the chair opposite of Lucas and takes a look at the drawing of him.

“Is that me?” Jens' voice sounds awed and the anxiety in Lucas stomach eases a bit, glad that Jens isn't creeped out by Lucas drawing him.

“Yeah, that's supposed to be you. Do you like it?” Lucas asks with barely concealed hope. Jens turns his attention from the drawing back to Lucas and looks at him with the same awed expression that was mirrored in his voice. “Yes, Lucas this is incredible! How long did that take you?”

Lucas blushes at the compliment and Jens gaze turns fond. “I don't know? Like twenty minutes?”

“You drew this in 20 minutes?” Jens asks disbelieving. Lucas tries his best not to laugh at the shocked expression on his face. “Yes, honestly Jens. It's just a rough sketch, it's really not that good.” Jens scoffs as he turns his attention back to the drawing. His voice is soft when he asks: “Can I keep it?”

Lucas throat suddenly feels tight and he has to clear his throat before he answers so his voice doesn't come out hoarse, an inexplicable feeling overcoming him over Jens wanting to keep his drawing. “Yeah, if you want to, it's yours.”

Jens' answering “Thanks, Luc” is so soft and awed and the smile he sends Lucas causes every butterfly in his stomach to start flying all at once. They look at each other for a few moments longer, something significant passing through their gaze before Jens breaks the eye contact and asks: “So, you're an artist?”

“I want to be. I study art at the academy.” Jens' head snaps back up again and he asks: “Really? A friend of mine studies there as well. Maybe you know him? Sander Driesen? He has this, like, platinum blonde hair, always wears Doc Martins?”

Lucas thinks back to his art history class and yeah, he's seen him a couple of times, but he never knew his name. He remembers seeing him at Jens' performance first though and he contemplates whether he should tell Jens this. They still haven't really acknowledged the fact that they both recognize each other from that night, apart from Lucas calling Jens by his name the last time. So Lucas decides to jump in at the deep end.

“Wasn't he also at your concert?” Lucas asks hesitantly, but carefully watching Jens' reaction. He turns to him surprised but then a small smile is tugging at the corners of his lips and he nods. “Yeah, he was there, with a few of my other friends. Sander's boyfriend is my best friend, Robbe.”

“I noticed them. They were really loud in their support for you.” Lucas lets out a little laugh at the memory and Jens raises his eyebrows daringly when he asks: “Shouldn't they have been?”

“Fishing for compliments?” Lucas asks in return and laughs at the way Jens rolls his eyes. When Jens doesn't say anything in back, Lucas rips of a little piece of the muffin and then nudges it in Jens' direction, silently telling him that he can do the same.

“I really liked your music,” Lucas admits after a while, breaking the companionable silence.

“Really?” Jens asks and his voice sounds hopeful, as if Lucas opinion matters to him.

“Yeah,” Lucas admits before he ducks his head and continues. “I found you on Spotify and listened to your songs for a week straight.” Jens doesn't say anything for a while and Lucas is scared that he said too much, but when he finally looks back up at Jens he watches him with an expression that makes his heart beat faster and his hope grow even more. Lucas feels vulnerable and exposed with the way Jens is looking at him, but he somehow isn't scared.

Jens clears his throat and nervously fidgets with the muffin before he asks: “There is this bar that I'm playing at next Saturday. Do you, I mean, do you want to come with me? As my date?”

Lucas' grin is impossibly wide when Jens looks at him again and he nods excitedly as he gives his answer. “Yes. Yes, I would love to.” Lucas doesn't even try to conceal the obvious happiness in his voice and Jens' eyes light up at his answer.

“Okay. Give me your number, then I can text you the details.” Jens pulls out his phone and hands it over so Lucas can put his number in. Their fingers brush as Lucas takes it out of Jens' hand, the feeling of Jens' skin on his flowing through him like electricity. As Lucas hands back the phone when he is done, he does it on purpose, caressing the back of Jens' hand with his index finger. Jens' smile is blinding and Lucas can only think, once again, how beautiful Jens is.

“I need to get back to work now,” Jens says, but he doesn't move away from Lucas' table or even takes his hand away. “Okay,” Lucas answers but doesn't release Jens' hand either. Jens looks at him and lets out a happy, disbelieving laugh as he eventually stands up to leave, taking the sketch Lucas drew of him. “I'll see you on Saturday, then.” Lucas simply nods his head, even though it wasn't a question.

Jens gets back to work and Lucas finishes his coffee and muffin. When he gets up to leave, he catches Jens gaze once again and gives a small wave as he walks to the door. He is already out of the cafe when someone gently grabs his elbow and turns him around. Jens is in front of him and Lucas' heart begins to beat impossibly fast as he leans down to press a gentle but lingering kiss to Lucas' cheek. “See you on Saturday, I'll text you,” Jens repeats in a soft voice and then he is gone again. Lucas barely resists the urge to lift his hand to his cheek like a freaking cliché but he can't stop smiling on his way home.

~0~

Jens is a bundle of nerves on Saturday. He texted Lucas as soon as his shift ended and they basically never stopped. It's ridiculous how much he already likes him and if he's being honest, he's a little scared that he's gonna mess this up and they haven't even got past their first date. Which is tonight and Jens can't for the life of him find his usual ever present chill.

He texted Lucas that he should meet him at the bar, Jens wanted to pick him up but he had to be here a little earlier to set everything up. He's nervous to perform in front of Lucas again, even though he already told him he liked his music. The bar he performs at tonight is a little bit smaller than the last one, it feels more intimate and cozier, which doesn't help to settle his nerves. There are already several people sitting at the tables and a few at the bar, but tonight there's really only one guest he wants to impress.

He tries concentrating on setting up his guitar and already starts tuning it. The familiarity and routine of the task does manage to calm him down a bit but there is still this permanent undercurrent of excitement and nervousness flowing through him. Checking his watch, he's startled to realizes that Lucas should be here any minute. He finishes the last little tasks of setting up and goes to the bar to order a beer. It's a soft spoken “Hey” that alerts Jens to his presence.

He turns around and tries not to be so obvious in his admiration as he takes in Lucas. His hair is curlier than usual, as if he put extra care into it today. Jens wants to pull his hands through it to find out if it's as soft as it looks. “Hey,” Jens replies and is surprised about himself how steady his voice sounds. “Do you want a drink?”

“Sure, I'll take a beer,” says Lucas and sits down next to Jens at the bar, hands on top of the counter, close to Jens' own.

“I'm really happy that you're here,” Jens admits with a hesitant glance towards Lucas who smiles softly in response.

“Me too. I can't wait to hear you play again. I'm pretty sure I could sing along to all the songs now.” Lucas says with a little laugh and his fingers move hesitantly towards Jens', overlapping their pinkies.

“Yeah, I noticed my Spotify streams growing a bit in the last weeks,” Jens say with a teasing smile but he turns his hand around so he can tangle his fingers with Lucas' properly. Lucas looks down at their joined hands and then points his gaze back towards Jens, raising his eyebrows in a challenge. “What kind of groupie would I be if I didn't even know your songs?”

Jens lets out a surprised laugh and Lucas expression turns amused. “Well, I guess I should be honored to have you as my first groupie, then.”

Lucas' grin turns smug as he says: “You definitely should be.” Jens hasn't noticed how close they actually sit together but then he feels Lucas' knee pressing into his thigh and he's pretty sure he doesn't imagine the pleased smile on his face when Jens pushes back.

“So, what do you do when you aren't working at the cafe or collecting groupies?” Lucas asks after a while and Jens has to laugh again but this time because he thinks he can hear a hint of worry in Lucas' voice, as if there was someone else.

“I think you're seriously overestimating my charm here, Luc. So far I only have one groupie and I hope it stays that way.” Jens hopes he doesn't give away too much but so far Lucas seems to have appreciated his boldness. “That's good to know,” Lucas says and squeezes Jens' hand once.

“And you? Isn't there any kind of muse who's waiting to be drawn by you?” Lucas seems to fight a smile that wants to work its way onto his face and he bites his bottom lip to fight it down. He looks up at Jens and holds his gaze for an excruciatingly long time before he says: “That depends. Do you want another portrait of you?”

Jens heart beats faster at the implication and he has to break the eye contact, feeling flustered at the words. As soon as he got home that day he put the drawing on his dresser and Robbe had teased him mercilessly for it, but Jens didn't care. Lucas' drawing of him was so completely different from how he sees himself. Of course, it was obviously Jens, but there was this expression in his eyes that Jens didn't recognize on himself and he was intrigued to find out more about how Lucas sees him.

When he looks up again, Lucas is much closer than he was before and his eyes have dropped down to his mouth. Jens licks his lips, unconsciously leaning closer when–

“Jens, you're up,” says the bartender and Lucas jumps back startled as if he was as lost in their own little space as Jens was. Jens is surprised how easy it is to get lost in a world of Lucas, he nearly forgot that he is supposed to perform tonight. Jens draws back reluctantly and the bartender shoots him an apologetic smile.

He gets up from his stool but not letting go of Luc's hand yet. Jens turns to him, squeezes his hand once and says: “I'll see you later then.”

Lucas' voice is a little breathless when he says: “Yeah, I'll be here.”

Jens sends him one last smile before he steps back and makes his way towards the stage. He grabs his guitar, checks once again if it's tuned correctly and steps up to the microphone to introduce himself to the crowd. “Hello everyone. I'm Jens Stoffels and I'm gonna be playing a few of my songs tonight. I hope you enjoy.”

He lets his eyes wander over the people in the bar but his eyes finds Lucas' quickly and he begins to play.

~0~

Lucas couldn't think it possible but Jens' performance leaves him even more mesmerized than the first one. Probably because Jens' gaze doesn't sway from Lucas' eyes all that often and Lucas is equally as unable to look away as Jens seems to be. And every time Jens catches him singing along to one of his songs the smile that spreads on his face settles something inside Lucas' heart. He remembers the feeling of getting lost in Jens' music and voice only this time it isn't tinged with Lucas' sadness. His pulse quickens every time Jens looks at him and this time Lucas holds is gaze, isn't afraid anymore to get pulled in by Jens' gravity.

Lucas has said it as a joke, but sitting here, being one of the only ones who actually knows the songs and knows Jens, it actually feels like he is his groupie. And when Lucas lets his eyes wander over the other people in the room, taking in their reaction to Jens he knows Jens was wrong. Lucas didn't overestimate his charm one bit. Everyone's attention is solely on Jens as he captivates them with his easy smile, beautiful voice and melodic tunes. He jokes during songs, engages with his audience and when he announces his last song Lucas can actually see some disappointed faces.

The last song Lucas doesn't know and that alone catches him off guard. It's beautiful though and Lucas is enthralled by the tenderness of the lyrics. From what he can tell it's about meeting someone and knowing they're gonna be significant, important to you in a way others weren't until now. Lucas wonders when Jens wrote this song because it feels eerily familiar to what he's been feeling since he met Jens.

When the last notes are slowly fading out there is a moment of complete silence until the whole bar erupts into applause. Lucas is the loudest one of all, cheering for Jens vigorously and shooting him an elated smile when he finds his eyes. Jens looks a little overwhelmed with the reception but returns Lucas' smile with an even brighter one. He thanks his audience once again, places his guitar back in the stand and heads straight towards Lucas. On his way he gets stopped a few times, people complementing him on his performance, but when he is finally close enough he steps right in between Lucas' legs, takes his head in between both hands and gently rests his forehead onto Lucas'.

“Hi,” is all Jens says, his voice sounding giddy and happy and a little breathless. Lucas can feel a few eyes on them but he ignores them for now, letting his hands settle on Jens' waist. He looks up into his eyes and his voice is just as affected when he replies with a “Hi” of his own.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Yes.”

Jens steps back and tells the bartender that he will pick up his stuff tomorrow, who gives him a knowing smile and throws in a teasing “Have fun.” Lucas absolutely does not blush at that but Jens simply laughs and pulls Lucas out of the bar.

As soon as they are outside Lucas can't hold in his excitement anymore. “Jens, that was absolutely incredible! Honestly, you are amazing!” Jens blushes at the compliment but there is a smile dancing across his face, his eyes alive with wonder. “Thank you, Luc.”

They begin walking down the street and Lucas reaches for Jens' hand and tangles their fingers together. Jens looks at him from the side and his eyes roam over Lucas' face as if searching for something. He looks away again and says quietly: “That last song was for you.”

Lucas stops dead in his tracks and it makes Jens turn around to face him. The reached one of the many bridges of Amsterdam, the lights of the city reflected in the river and for a Saturday night it's pleasantly void of any people. Lucas turns the words over in his head but there's no way he heard them wrong. His voice is breathless as he asks: “You wrote a song for me?”

Jens blushes again but he meets Lucas' gaze head on, eyes soft and hopeful. “Yeah. Did you like it?” Lucas is momentarily rendered speechless but then he steps into Jens' space, lets one hand slide through Jens' hair and settles it at his neck. He moves in slowly to give Jens the chance to move away, leaning his forehead against Jens', noses bumping together gently and before he closes the final distance between their lips he whispers: “Is this okay?”

Jens doesn't answer but Lucas feels his eyes fluttering shut when Jens brushes his lips against his own. He melts against Jens, moving his lips softly and letting his hands brush through Jens' hair. When Jens' hands settle on Lucas' waist to pull him closer Lucas deepens the kiss and he feels more than he hears it, the contented little hum that Jens lets out.

Lucas has never felt like this before. Jens feels so familiar and easy and just so right. Before he met Jens he didn't believe in soulmates. But what else could he be if not exactly that? From the first moment he saw him, stepping onto that stage, Lucas knew that Jens was gonna be important. He was scared about it at first, wasn't ready for what this means, but then the universe gave him a second chance and this time, Lucas lets himself be pulled into Jens' orbit willingly, ready for what ever the universe has in store for them.

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Hermit Rivals: Skizz and Logic

this is a bunch of short scenes put together based on the tiny amount of Skizz/Logic content we got in twitch rivals: hermit raiders :D they don’t really blend together very well but i couldn’t figure out how to do it so enjoy anyway lol

…

Waiting in the lobby for the competition to start, LogicalGeekBoy is talking strategy with his team when he feels something poking him in the back. He turns and finds himself face to face with a grinning Skizzleman. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Logic chuckles. “What’s up?”

“I’m gonna beat you,” says Skizz. “I can’t beat Impulse cuz he’s on my team so you’re next on my list of friends I wanna beat.”

“Oho, fighting talk, huh?” teases Logic.

“You bet! You may be one of the smartest people I know but I bet my team can beat you in a fighting-based competition.”

“Okay, you know what? You’re on.” Logic grins. “Forget first place; my only goal is to beat your team.”

Skizz grins back. “Oh, you are ON! You’re not gonna know what hit you!”

Logic laughs as he watches Skizz bound off back to his team. “So easy to wind up.”

“We better beat their team now,” remarks Doc.

Logic nods. “Oh yeah, losing is NOT an option. If he beats me, I’m not gonna hear the end of it for weeks. Maybe the rest of my life.”

On the other side of the lobby, Skizz bounces up to his teammates. “GUYS. We gotta beat Team Doc!”

“Okay, why them, specifically?” False asks.

“Because if I don’t beat Logic now, he’s gonna lord it over me for the rest of my life.”

“Are you sure you’re not thinking of yourself?” asks Impulse teasingly.

“Shut up, I hate you.”

…

“Uh, guys?” Doc’s voice comes over their team comms line. “I don’t want to alarm anyone but I’m currently being attacked by iJevin.”

“What?!” Logic yelps.

“Oh, this is the hermit mob round,” says Xisuma, sounding unfazed. “The waves this time are mobs retextured to look like the players in the event.”

“Well, THAT’s not disturbing at all,” Doc responds wryly.

Logic quickly slices down a mob version of fWhip, before darting around a house to find a lone mob he can see highlighted behind it.

But he stops dead as he registers the mob standing there.

“Oh no…!”

Mob-Skizz immediately starts moving towards him, arms up, trying to reach him to attack. Its movement is clearly that of a zombie but Logic is still frozen, his sword hanging limply in his grip. He doesn’t want to attack his friend.

“Skizz, please, I…! I don’t wanna hurt you…!”

As he backs away, trying to think of something else he can do, he feels his heel catch something and he topples backwards. He looks up to find Mob-Skizz advancing on him, within a few blocks of attacking. His sword is within reach but…

Logic’s rational mind knows this is just a mindless zombie made to look like his friend but he can’t bring himself to strike something that looks like Skizz, even when said thing is attacking him. He strains against Mob-Skizz as it starts raking its claws down his arms and trying to bite him.

Then he hears the sound of a mob taking damage and the pressure is lifted from his arms. Logic barely has time to breathe before he’s grabbed by the hand and hauled to his feet.

“Logic, FOCUS,” Doc scolds him. “We can’t afford to waste time dying!”

Logic watches Doc run back into the fray before taking a moment to inspect his arms. Several long red welts stare back at him.

He grimaces. Come on, Logic… It’s not the real Skizz attacking you. You think Skizz would hesitate to kill a mob looking like you? Get a grip.

…

“Oh no, all the mobs are hermits!” yelps Impulse, almost toppling off the roof of the house he’s perched on. “Skizz, get them towards the pit!”

Skizz immediately takes off running but as he’s luring the hermit-mobs towards the lava pit, something catches his eye. Out of all the hermit-mobs swarming towards him, one particular one causes his stomach to lurch.

“Skizz, let’s GO,” False’s impatient voice snaps.

Blinking himself out of his thoughts, Skizz dodges around Mob-Logic and leads a whole group of them carefully to the lava pit they’ve made. He jumps over and turns back to check it’s working.

And it is; the mobs try to follow Skizz over the opened trapdoors and fall straight into the lava below.

Skizz cheers. “Woo, look at that! It’s working!”

But his grin quickly falls as he spots THAT mob again, falling into the lava pit. He has to catch himself before he yells Logic’s name, as if it’s his real friend sinking into the lava. Mob-Logic is staring up at him with wide eyes, Logic’s eyes, as it dies a fiery death.

Unable to bear it any longer, Skizz takes off running and shuts himself in one of the houses, breathing deeply in and out to quell the nausea threatening to spill out of him.

“Skizz, where did you go?” comes False’s voice over the comms.

“I-I need a moment...!”

Impulse clearly hears the emotion in Skizz’s voice, and he’s known Skizz long enough to realise immediately what’s affecting his best friend. “Skizz, it’s not real,” he says reassuringly. “I know it’s hard but you have to see them as the mobs they are, not our friends.”

“You don’t understand,” whispers Skizz.

He opens his mouth again but he can’t find the right words. How is he supposed to explain how awful the churning in his stomach at the sight of his close friend dying in lava was? The way Logic’s eyes looked back at him as if asking “why would you do this to me…?” How agonising it was to fight against every instinct in his body screaming at him to jump into the lava pit and save his friend?

After a moment, he sighs. Come on, Skizz. Logic’s probably got no problem with killing a mob that looks like you. Get a grip.

…

In the lobby at the end of the round, False is looking at her team captains’ communication line. “Looks like Team Doc’s round is bugged,” she reports.

Skizz is immediately alert; that’s Logic’s team. “Are they okay?”

False nods. “Yeah, apparently the game seems to think there’s two raid guys left but they can’t see anything highlighted and it says zero of seventy-five on the side of their screen.”

“Oh, you’re right,” says Impulse, seeing 0/75 written next to Team Doc’s name on his screen. “It’s stuck on zero. What are they gonna do?”

“Just let the round end naturally, apparently.”

“Aw man,” mutters Skizz. He hopes Logic’s doing okay; he knows his friend has a thing about bugs and glitches.

But down in the village, Logic just wants this round to end. Exhausted from searching for the final two raid mobs their screen says still exist, Logic is morosely gathering up the hay bales from around the village. They had been doing so well. Sure, they weren’t on track to win or anything. But they may have at least gotten fourth or fifth, but now they’ll be sixth by default. All thanks to the stupid glitch. That’s points thrown away that they can’t afford to lose.

“The admins say they’re gonna put us down joint fifth with Team False,” Doc reports after a while. “Two points.”

“Better than one,” Xisuma mutters.

This actually helps Logic feel better. He knows their team can’t win but it would be nice to beat Skizz’s team.

…

Wandering around the lobby, listening to Doc and Xisuma argue strategies over their team comms line, Logic spots a dandelion lying on the floor. He picks it up and, after a quick scan of the area to find a specific person, trots over to the corner of the lobby where Team False are having a meeting.

“-why whatever we face next will be-.” False breaks off as she spots him approaching. “Hey! Logic! Get outta here!”

“Team meeting, man, c’mon,” Skizz, who is sitting with his back to the wall, adds. “Get outta here. Can't be stealing our strategies, dude.”

Logic silently places the flower on Skizz’s knee and takes a few steps back.

As he registers what the item is, Skizz glances up sheepishly. “Oh. Thanks, buddy.”

Logic just smiles. He and Skizz both know he tends to not speak much in social situations involving people he isn’t fully comfortable with.

“Yeah yeah, great, now get outta here,” False says brusquely. “This is our meeting place.”

In response, Logic sits down next to Skizz, looking expectantly up at False.

Impulse and Skizz both snicker at False’s exasperated eye-roll. “Skizz, make your friend go away.”

Skizz nudges Logic in the side. “You heard the captain, bro. We gotta talk strategy.”

Logic’s sad frown almost makes Skizz change his mind on the spot. He gives a chuckle and pats him on the shoulder. “Bro, you know I love you, but you’re not on our team. I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

After a moment, Logic nods, stands up, and starts walking away.

Skizz watches him go, then jumps to his feet. “Hold on, be right back,” he says quickly to his teammates.

He rushes after Logic and catches him just turning the corner. “Wait a sec, Logic.”

Logic turns, smiling at his friend. “What’s up?”

Skizz hesitates, then clasps Logic’s hands and presses a small item into them. “Stay safe, buddy,” he says earnestly, before turning and rushing back to his team.

Logic stares after him for a moment before opening his hands to check the item Skizz gave him.

It’s a totem of undying.

…

Logic is perched atop the sky island, firing down on the ghasts from above. Far down on the ground, he can see the figures of Doc and Xisuma taking on the ground mobs. Even though he’s not great at fighting, Logic is far better with a bow than a sword.

A ghast screech behind him causes him to spin round. To his horror, he finds a ghast staring directly at him from less than a hundred blocks away, a fireball already flying towards him. He swings his axe back, ready to try and hit it back at the flying mob, but he mis-hits and the fireball knocks him clean off the island. And it’s only now that he realises he forgot to grab the elytra from the chest.

Logic can’t help a scream as he plummets, hands fumbling for anything he can use to save himself. But he has no hay bales, no buckets of water, no elytra. Nothing except…

His fingers close around the totem of undying JUST before he hits the ground. The loud explosion-like sound and spray of green sparkles lets him know the totem worked. He hurriedly scrambles into the nearest house and shuts the door, breathing heavily.

“Logic, you okay?” comes Xisuma’s voice over the radio.

“Y-Yeah, all good,” replies Logic shakily. “Gimme a second.”

He checks himself down. No injuries anywhere.

A smile spreads over his face. “Thanks for looking out for me, Skizz,” he murmurs.

…

Skizz sits on the stairs leading up to the seating area, absently twirling the flower in his hand. As is the same after every event, his mind is occupied by racing thoughts and ideas of how he could have done better.

“Penny for ‘em?” comes a friendly voice.

Skizz glances up to find Logic coming up the stairs towards him. “Hey, buddy. Nah, you don’t wanna hear about my stupid thoughts.”

Logic sits down next to Skizz. “Try me.”

After a moment, Skizz sighs. “I dunno, I just can’t help feeling that I held my team back. We came last overall and… it was probably my fault.”

“No, dude, I can assure you it wasn’t,” responds Logic kindly. “Nobody held their team back. You’re always gonna feel like that on a team with two hermits.”

“Did you feel like that?”

“Yeah, I did. I always do when I’m in the presence of hermits. It’s only natural, really. You feel like an imposter almost, like you shouldn’t be playing with such esteemed people. Like even your best will pale in comparison to their average. Like…”

As Logic trails off, Skizz glances sideways at him and finds him staring numbly into thin air. “You okay…?”

Logic blinks himself out of his thoughts. “Oh. Yeah, sorry. Anyway, my point is don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“It’s hard not to be,” responds Skizz morosely. “I don’t think I can name a single useful thing I did that wasn’t what False or Impulse told me to do.”

“I can,” Logic says immediately.

Skizz raises an eyebrow. “How would you know? What can I have done that you would know about?”

“You gave me the totem of undying,” replies Logic pointedly.

Skizz stares at him for a moment. “Wait… really…?”

Logic nods. “I fell off the top island in the fourth round. No elytra, no water, nothing. That totem you gave me saved my life. Even if that was the only useful thing you did unprompted in the whole game, which I doubt, it was worth it to me.”

“Aww…” Skizz puts his arm over Logic’s shoulder. “I’m glad I could help you out, brother.”

The two fall silent for a moment.

Then Logic clears his throat. “So… those mobs that looked like us…”

“Creepy as hell.”

“Extremely creepy,” agrees Logic. “It was cool at first but when a mob that looked like you was trying to bite my face off, it wasn’t quite as cool.”

Skizz blinks. “Oh jeez, that sounds terrifying.”

“And painful too,” Logic says, holding up his hands to show off the red claw marks down his arms.

“Wait, wait, what?!” Skizz stares at the wounds in shock. “That was mob-me?!”

“Yeah, it was vicious. Nearly killed me.”

“Oh gosh…” Skizz shivers. “I’m so sorry.”

Logic laughs. “Skizz, it was a zombie retextured to look like you! You have no reason to apologise.”

After a moment, Skizz nods. “I guess. And hey, I had to watch a mob that looked like you get burned alive in lava, so…”

“All in all, a very good round for nightmares, then.”

“You’re telling me.”

Another pause follows this, punctuated by Skizz rising to his feet and stretching. “Man, I’m worn out. Wanna go hang out with the gang before we go home? Say goodbye to everyone?”

“Thanks, but I don’t think I’d be very good company,” Logic responds. “I’m pretty tired and there wouldn’t be much point in me being there if I don’t talk anyway.”

“You’re always good company to me, brother,” says Skizz warmly. “Even when you don’t talk.”

Logic can’t help a smile. “Thanks. Okay then, I’ll come along.”

“Awesome!”

As the two head down the stairs, Logic adds, “And you usually do a pretty good job at interpreting for me, anyway.”

“Usually?” Skizz pretends to be affronted. “Uh, I’m AMAZING at reading your thoughts, thank you very much.”

Logic chuckles. “Uh huh, sure. You know what you're NOT amazing at?"

"What?" asks Skizz warily.

"Beating me in a fighting-based competition."

"OKAY LISTEN-."

[xiaoquanquans]

at my disposal

sypnosis : y/n and chishiya became allies after y/n had saved chishiya from getting killed in a game of tag . they helped each other stay alive in the borderlands while also collecting all the needed cards to return back to the real world . after following chishiya around religiously , y/n had fallen hard for chishiya and he had explained to her that he did not care for her and would do anything to keep himself alive . all the remaining players had split out to collect the face cards . y/n and chishiya were focusing on completing the diamond cards . but chishiya did what he had to survive .

tw warnings : swearing , manipulation , death , betrayal , mentions of alcohol , self harm , blood , depression ( do not read if you somehow relate to the tw’s , i genuinely care okay ? take care of yourself bby 🖤 )

notices :

• MANGA SPOILERS!!

• mixed pov’s

• the game announcer speaks in bold and sly remarks or important sentences are written in italic

• lowercase

• this ff might be a bit confusing , because it’s a knowledge diamond based game

• chishiya’s true nature / canon chishiya

• gender neutral reader

• not proof-read

—

the game that we will be playing is the keynesian beauty contest . difficulty K♦️. henceforth, the rules shall be explained . within one minute all of you will pick a number from 0 to 100 . after everyone has entered their numbers , an average number will be taken from the addition of the numbers of all the 5 players . the player that has the closest number to the average number will be the winner and earn one point.

here we were , all five of us facing each other at this pentagon shaped table awaiting for our deaths . the rules were simple , win or die .

if you get an answer wrong you’ll receive -1 point. it’s game over for those who reach -10 points.

kuzuryuu keiichi , the third highest executive at the Beach was directly facing me , chishiya was to my left and an additional two players as well .

benzo, an wise old man and hinako a snobby looking woman .

upon heading the rules it was obvious that only one of us would make it out alive . i wished that i had known that before entering the courthouse .

i turned to face chishiya only to see him sneering at keiichi.

only one player will make it out alive .

-

chishiya

why was he so special to me , so intriguing .

i was the one who saved him but for some reason i’m also the one following him around .

i was a smart person , i figured it out quick .

it was obvious to me that i was in love with him , and he noticed it as well .

one day , we were both hanging around the poolside of the Beach far away from each other when we exchanged glances .

not long after he made his way towards me and pulled me aside .

he stared me blankly into my eyes , no emotion portrayed through them . listen , i’ve seen the way you’ve been looking at me and it’s genuinely really annoying but you have to know .

i do not like you , i don’t want to like you and i never will . if we were in a bad situation i would not hesitate to sacrifice you to safe myself . i would use you at my disposal if i had to so stop giving me those looks , you should know that i hate them and i do not care about you .

after that day , we rarely exchanged words . but for some reason i still kept following him around . he was cold to everyone else , i wasn’t anyone special . but god forbid him , he was just so unique to me . he couldn’t keep me away from him and his god complex even if he wanted to .

-

before i could speak up i was quickly outspoken by keiichi .

“ you’ve all heard the rules . if you have no further questions we will continue and start the game. ”

chishiya snickered. he knew that it was going to be him . he knew that he was clever and he showcased that every chance he could .

he knew he would be the one to walk away from the court with the card in his hand . the K of diamonds would just merely be another addition to his substantial stack of cards that he had collected or as some might say , stole .

the first few rounds had passed and everyone had gotten the hang of the game . it was simple to everyone in the room . all you had to do was get the calculations right in the time limit of 5 minutes .

hinako spoke up , “ so this game , is merely a deduction of how far the opponents can calculate? ”

i let out a quiet laugh , everyone had already registered that after the first round and here she was only figuring it out now .

you made a bet with yourself , she’d be the first one out , if not the second .

“ but what we’re reading isn’t mentality but rationality . ” chishiya replied .

after a few rounds the tables weren’t turning , keiichi had been winning every round because of his solid strategy of everyone keying in either 0 or 1 . someone had to do something or else we’d all lose to him .

so i realised i had to change it up a bit .

i quickly inputted the number 100

it took everyone by surprise , i knew i had no chance of winning because 100 was definitely too far from the average but i inspired the rest to take part in what i was doing while also taking away keiichi’s advantage.

a few more rounds passed and both Benzo and Hinako had reached -9 points . I was on -7 and Chishiya was on -8 . Keiichi was leading with -4 points .

Both Benzo and Hinako were one point away from death , so they had to be extra careful in the next round .

Unfortunately for them , they guessed a number that was too off from the answer , causing the acid on top of them to pour down , melting and disintegrating their bodies until they were gone .

Chishiya smirked at it . Their lives had meant nothing to them and so did yours . He knew what he had to do after this . How he could ensure his survival by taking you out .

-

and here you were , in the pitch black bar of the Beach . gulping down bottles of alcohol , trying your best to forget about what had happened . you weren’t weak , you kept telling yourself that even if you didn’t believe it . but deep down you knew you were .

once you were done with your bottle you slammed it against the counter , breaking it into hundreds of shards .

you took the biggest one you could find and lifted up your sleeve .

this wouldn’t be your first mark, your arm was filled with lines that were distinct in width from past experiences that you had before coming to the Borderlands .

before you could hesitate you did it . the glass shard sliced it’s way through your skin with ease .

you dropped the shard out of pain causing it to break off into many smaller pieces .

once again you scavenged for more alcohol , looking for fire whiskey which was something that could help numb the pain .

after minutes of searching you finally found a bottle-

“ y/n what happened , why is the whole bar in a mess? ”

you turned around to face kuina , a look of worry was displayed all over her face .

she made eye contact for a moment before looking down towards your arm .

“ what were you thinking? ” you heard her mutter .

she quickly took the bottle of whiskey out of your hand and placed it on the counter , after that she slowly brought you to the other side of the bar due to there being shards of glass everywhere on the floor.

once she sat you down she went to look for a medkit, leaving you to yourself and your thoughts . kuina took as little time as she could because she knew you weren’t in the right state of mine to be alone .

once she found the kit she rushed back to the bar , only to find that you’ve fainted from the all the loss of blood . it was a thin cut line but a very deep one , it looked like you might have even accidentally cut off a vein .

after you had woke up the next day you and kuina had a long talk and after that you felt much better .

until you ran into chishiya again on the same day.

-

since there are only 3 players remaining , a new rule will be added into the game. if two players pick the same number they will both get -2 points .

i was already on -8 , meaning any wrong choice would lead me to my death .

picking 0 or 1 would definitely lead me to my death , so I’ll choose a random number between 2 and 100

how about , 62 .

the results are in , chishiya is the winner , number 23.

-

y/n ( -10points )

chishiya (-8 points )

keiichi ( -7 points )

-

and that was it ,

endgame for me .

before accepting my death i had one question , how did he figure out i was going to pick 23 .

and as if he read my thoughts , chishiya spoke up .

“in order to distance yourself you would’ve picked a number in between 2 to 100 because 0 or 1 had the highest chances of being duplicates .

after clearing all the possibilities of you picking a random number i was left with 62 and 74.

and i chose between those , and to my luck you picked 62 and all i had to do from there was divide 62 in half . leaving me with 23.

with this , a player has reached -10 points , it is now game over for that participant .

chishiya laughed , “ like i said you’re at my disposal , should have listened the first time . ”

and those were the last words i heard before meeting my end .

- END -

tags: @donnyhateslife @hvrriicane @myloveforchishiya ( dm to be added to tag list )

oui oui love yall 💖

[accioecho]

Tkem Novel 12

Chapter 15 - “The secret only I know”

Tae-Eul thought over what Nari said.

“If there are two identical worlds, then one is bound to destroy the other.”

She wished Gon would come back soon. She wished he would appear right there, right then, in her courtyard atop Maximus.

Carrying this secret alone was too much of a burden and she felt lonely.

—

Chapter 16 - “Even if the flower doesn’t bloom”

After a long day at the station, Tae-Eul was finally on her way back home. Instead of heading inside the warmth of her house though, she stopped in front of it and took the time to water the small flower pot that contained the seeds she bought in the Kingdom. Crouching down, she carefully examined the surface of the planter.

Only soil was visible underneath the soft glow of the street lights.

“Why won’t you sprout?”

Rationally, she knew it was because they came from another world. Just thinking about the fact that these flowers may never bloom left her disappointed.

Gon was still away and these flowers would probably never bloom.

Tae-Eul stared at the pot for a long while, lost in her thoughts. Finally standing up, she lightly tapped her legs with her two hands.

“How have you been?”

The voice she longed to hear all this time rang clear in the empty courtyard. Turning around, Tae-Eul saw Gon standing tall, donning a dark coat. Still struck by his sight, she simply nodded.

“Have you been waiting for me?”

Unable to tear her eyes away from him, she nodded once more.

From the Kingdom of Corea to the Republic of Korea.

Crossing universes.

Tae-Eul knew how far these two worlds were. How big the space between 1 and 0 was.

She couldn’t go to his world even if she wanted to. She couldn’t meet him even if she wanted to. The only thing she could do was to wait.

Gon who was equally glad to see her let out a small laugh. “That’s a relief. I was a bit scared that you didn’t want me to come back—”

He didn’t get a chance to finish. Tae-Eul reached Gon in a few strides and hugged him.

There were a few things she could do now.

She could touch him. She could embrace him.

With Tae-Eul’s head tightly pressed against his chest, Gon felt his heart skip a beat. Silently, he wrapped his arms around her.

Warmth spreading from one body to another, they relaxed into each other.

Their time spent in the Kingdom was short, and their goodbye felt even more rushed. Their current situation meant they couldn’t send each other texts like any normal couple and Tae-Eul probably worried over him. Feeling sorry for being away for so long, Gon held her a fraction tighter.

As much as he did his best to carry out his work as quickly as he could, Gon wished he could have come sooner.

—

Finally breaking their embrace, Tae-Eul led Gon to the Taekwondo center. 

She was the owner’s daughter yet Gon was the one holding the key to the training hall.

Gon had come in earlier in the day, greeted her father and borrowed the house keys. Tae-Eul didn’t know what to make of it. Did he really have to go that far?

She got the answer entering the Dojang.

At first glance, the man standing in the middle of room looked like Eun-Sup. His attire was the one detail that gave him away. This man was not Eun-Sup. It was Yeong.

Yeong faced Tae-Eul and glowered at her, posture stiff. This wasn’t the first time Yeong looked at her with disapproval but this level of animosity was new.

“You brought Jo Yeong here?” Tae-Eul frowned, turning to Gon.

“It was unavoidable. He wouldn’t let me go alone.”

There was several reasons why Gon had wanted to bring Yeong to this place, but one particularly stood out. Yeong had chased after him in the bamboo trail and blocked his path as he was about to cross the gate.

If he was leaving to go meet that girl Luna, then he couldn’t let him go, Yeong had explained.

Luna.

Gon had also learned about her existence in the Kingdom. He had spent hours and hours searching for Tae-Eul and it turned out that her doppelganger did exist in his universe. That time  when he saw a glimpse of her at the rowing competition was not a figment of his imagination after all. But her name wasn’t Tae-Eul and she wasn’t a police officer either. She was just a fugitive, chased by both the mob and police forces.

Gon couldn’t blame Yeong for being wary of Tae-Eul. His best friend had dutifully looked for her at his request. He believed that Luna and Tae-Eul were the same person, so it was only normal that he couldn’t let Gon go to her.

This was about to change.

Gon wanted to show Yeong that Luna and Tae-Eul were really two different persons. That one person belonged to the Kingdom and the other was from another universe.

Yeong still seemed frozen in place, disoriented from the journey from Corea to the Republic’s Seoul. Examining his surroundings, his confusion only grew as his eyes lingered on the various frames that adorned the walls.

There were several pictures of Tae-Eul posing with her father. Another frame of a younger Tae-Eul with Shin-Jae. Countless awards and certificates bearing her name.

To any outsider looking at these various pieces of memory, this was a real, separate person. A person that matched the police ID Yeong saw, belonging to a certain police officer named Jeong Tae-Eul.

“What… what’s going on?” Yeong asked, face slightly tilted. “What is this place?”

“I totally understand how you feel. I’m sure we both have a lot of things to worry about, but for now, welcome to the Republic of Korea.” Tae-Eul replied calmly.

So… did it mean he had to call her Sunbae here?

Yeong pulled out his phone and tried to get a signal.

Yeong’s confused state reminded Gon of Tae-Eul’s similar reaction when she first visited the Palace.

“I’ve never seen him act like that. He looks so cute when he’s flustered.” Gon chuckled.

Tae-Eul had to admit this was a new side of Yeong. She never imagined that the man who didn’t flinch at the sight of blood could look so flustered. But she wouldn’t go as far as to describe him as cute.

She guessed it made sense. Tae-Eul lips stretched into a small smile. Gon did consider Yeong as his little brother.

“Your carefree attitude is what’s cute. How can you just bring someone with the same face? What are you going to do if he gets caught?”

“That’s why I borrowed this place. Besides, Yeong isn’t the type to get caught easil—.”

The door suddenly burst open and Eun-Sup came strolling inside the Dojang. His face lit up at seeing Gon.

“The light were on so I was wondering…”

Eun-Sup shrieked, frozen at the sight of Yeong.

Yeong returned his gaze on Eun-Sup. Both staring at each other, fingers pointing towards the other.

“You two haven’t met, right? Why don’t I introduce… Well, I guess we could say you’ve met already. Anyway, this is my guard, the Unbreakable Sword, Jo Yeong. And this is the guard of a police station…” Gon explained, looking slightly perplexed.

Halfway through Gon’s quiet introductions, Eun-Sup collapsed. Tae-Eul rushed over to him, grabbing his collar and patting his cheek repeatedly.

“Hey! Jo Eun-Sup! I can’t believe it! You made him faint! What? Did you say that he wouldn’t get caught? Our Eun-Sup was also raised as a precious only child until his siblings were born. What are you going to do if something happens to him?” Tae-Eul shouted.

Woken up by Tae-Eul frantic gestures, Eun-Sup kept on rambling. “Noona, I literally just saw someone who looked exactly like me… that face, he’s right here. What the hell is this? He looks exactly like me. No. He is me. Who are you?”

“And who are you?” Yeong confronted Eun-Sup.

Tae-Eul could feel a headache coming on. Massaging her temples, she attempted a rational explanation.

“Eun-Sup. Let me explain. So this is like a parallel universe or something. Don’t get too startled and listen to me, alright?”

“I didn’t realize it until now, but I’m pretty handsome.” Eun-Sup cut her off.

Yes, okay. This was Eun-Sup alright.

“You really didn’t know? How could you not know? I’m sure people around you would’ve told you all the time.” Yeong added, keeping a straight face on.

Gon and Tae-Eul looked at each other.

Eun-Sup, who seemed to have regained his wits, shook his shaggy hair. “Wow, so this means everything was true, right? The Kingdom of Corea really exists, and King Arthur really is the King? Wow! Then you’re the King’s bodyguard, right?”

“No. Are you doing military duties right now? Is the military service compulsory here?” Yeong asked, looking at Eun-Sup’s uniform.

“What do you mean? Is it different where you live?”

“Our military system is on a voluntary basis.”

“Really? Then it means you don’t need to go…”

Tae-Eul let out a long sigh at Yeong and Eun-Sup’s back and forth verbal sparring. This conversation could drag on and on. The Taekwondo center wasn’t a safe place to hide Eun-Sup’s double.

They would be safer at Eun-Sup’s place. It was a school holidays so the twins were back at home and Eun-Sup currently lived alone in the apartment.

She ushered the two of them outside and set up a few basic rules in order for them to co-exist in this world. Eun-Sup could go out and live his life during the day. They would switch at sundown and Yeong could go out at night.

—

Leaving Yeong and Eun-Sup to bicker, Tae-Eul brought Gon to their usual bbq chicken place. She didn’t know how long Gon would stay this time around. Regardless, she had been meaning to give him a cellphone so they could reach each other whenever they felt like it.

Tae-Eul saved all the necessary numbers and slid the brand new phone over to Gon.

Her number. Shin-Jae’s, Eun-Sup’s, Nari’s and the Dojang’s landline number.

“Unlike someone, my salary is chicken feed, and I don’t have a mountain full of rare-earth elements. So I bought it with a 12-month installment plan. Don’t break it and take care of it. Don’t forget to answer my calls. I saved all the numbers you will need in this world.”

“It seems like you bought it and waited for me to come back. Why did you save Shin-Jae’s number though?”

Gon felt a surge of happiness at the idea that Tae-Eul bought this phone for him and waited for him to come back to give it to him. However, his light mood rapidly changed when he saw Shin-Jae’s number on the phone’s bright screen.

“They are the five people who will help you regardless of anything in this world. And Shin-Jae is one of the most trustworthy people.”

“Not you?”

“For me, the citizens of this nation come first.”

With the device still in his hand, Gon dialed Tae-Eul’s number.

At the sound of her ringtone, Tae-Eul instinctively grabbed her own phone, wondering who might want to reach her at this time of the day.

Lee Gon.

Gon gestured for her to pick up the call.

“Is it you?”

“Hang up.”

“Don’t hang up. I always wanted to try this.”

“What is this?”

“Just a normal daily life with you. Call you… chat on the phone…”

“…”

“Ask you what you did today… and tell you that I missed you a lot.” Gon went on.

He was saying aloud all the things Tae-Eul had been thinking about in his absence. She could see the waiter approaching their table with their order.

“Me too.” Tae-Eul admitted in one breath.

Gon’s chest tightened, joy rippling through him. He didn’t know his heart could beat so fast.

“We have somewhere to go after we eat.” Tae-Eul announced, grabbing a piece of chicken.

“…?”

“It’s something I’ve been planning for a long time.”

[ohnobjyx]

Would it be that impossible for dd and gg to come out as a couple (provided they respected censorship and didn't talk about it with the media)? I read the other day that homosexuality is not illegal in China, just talking about it and showing in the media, so could not someone as brave and crazy as dd attempt to come out outside of the media? after all they are the first 3 shipped real couples in china, they do have support. Coming out willingly would also save them from being eventually outed..

Hi, anon! (*this blogger cracks her neck and gets ready*) Let’s get into it!

Disclaimer: fake fake fake. Why would you think that we believe in bjyx?

Preface: this post might not be exactly a controversial opinion, since I think many will have the same one. However, it’s alright to disagree: we all have our own perception of the matter, which is coloured by our own experiences (let’s just say that an absolute objective view is difficult). I present here with the most objective post (at least in terms of data and facts) I could write.

Oh, and you all might have noticed, but being concise is not my forte. I tend to digress.

First of all, I assume that the concept of “coming out outside of the media” means that they could have told just close friends and family, without announcing it to the media.

But how would we know that they have done it? (and I don’t mean we should know for sure, ofc). For all we know, they may have already done this, and, from my pov, they probably have. Without entering in “fake” rumours:

TTXS bros know something (repeating myself for the nth time). From the way DZW jumps in whenever it remotely looks like dd is slipping up, how WH poses his questions, how QF teases him. It all seems references to a real, tangible thing, instead of baseless friendly teasing. It’s also very interesting that they have stopped their matchmaking mission and have instead started to defend why dd is “single”.

Their parents are their cover. Even if dd parents didn’t watch TTXS, wouldn’t someone else watch it and ask them about it? Wouldn’t they wonder about the supposed clothes that dd sends home, the medicine, the market stroll? Maybe I’m just projecting, but I wouldn’t use my parents as a shield if they weren’t aware of the situation behind it, because I’d be subjected to their questioning later. That’s why, unless I wanted to tell them or I had already told them, I wouldn’t use my parents as an excuse. So, once is alright, but dd has done it several times, and that, for me, means that his parents know.

That’s what I would consider “coming outside the media”. Of course, this doesn’t involve us fans, and it’s their decision, of which we probably will never hear about (or, at least, not soon, and that’s fine!). 

In my opinion, it’s also the best course of action, especially with all the rumours that are always circulating about them. It wouldn’t be a “brave and crazy” course of action, but rather the most sensible and rational, since it’s the best way to avoid misunderstandings with your friends and family. It’s also considerate for his friends at work, just so they know what to expect when they are on stage and it allows them to understand dd’s reactions.

(Again, we are talking about dd because that’s who anon asked about. I think gg’s circle is less close to him, so it may not be the case with him, but I don’t know enough to say what would happen).

Just let’s suppose his TTXS bros didn’t know anything and just kept trying to act as matchmakers for dd. That’s the kind of situation that’s bound to be uncomfortable for everyone because dd isn’t the kind of person who’d lie (and he doesn’t fast enough to improptu questions). 

The second thing I wanted to talk about is their fans’ support. I want to talk about numbers.

I’m going to explain why I only take the c-fans data as reference. We int fans don’t really count, because we don’t affect their careers directly, as c-fans do. Of course, our support is very useful in showing how many people are rooting for them, like what happened when Roseonly’s livestream with gg was live. And I like to think that they would feel better knowing that there are a lot of people in Chn and overseas that support them and whatever there is between them.

So int-fans do contribute to give more views and likes to their Roseonly livestream (if they can access it, which isn’t always the case), but they won’t buy the roses and impact with real money, so to say.

We don’t really participate in their endorsements, many won’t stay long enough to watch more dramas from them (and I do understand that the lack of eng subs is the main problem), and many don’t/can’t/don’t know how to push them up in the charts. We’ve talked before about how the c-ent industry doesn’t really need the int audience to make a lot of money, and to be highly profitable, and it still applies in a smaller case, like a single idol. 

That’s why I think that in matters of real, tangible fan support, c-fans still make a bigger percentage (around 80-90%) of their support.

So, as of now, there are 3 supertopics in w/ibo that features gg/dd (let’s leave the difference in supertopics for another day, but I don’t support the discussion about people’s sex life, thanks for your understanding):

BJYX. The largest supertopic (top 1) with a wide margin from the others. It has 2.570.000 fans.

ZSWW. It’s the number 5 in the CP supertopics, with 910.000 fans.

LXFY. The number 23 in the CP supertopics with 590.000 fans.

All of them added make 4.070.000 fans. But we have to take into account the overlapping in these three supertopics: many people (like me) are following the three supertopics at the same time. That’s why, in a not scientific way, I’m guessing that those 4.070.000 come to around 4.000.000 once you take out the people that are following the three at the same time.

Even 4 million people is still a huge number of people: that’s more people than the population of the capital of my country, and one tenth of the total census here.

Yet, in China, it means 4 out of every 1400, which translates into 0′003%. It’s also from a very specific demographic (mainly female and young). Of course, it doesn’t mean that they won’t get support from other people if it ever got out, but they can’t know what would happen then for sure.

It means that, in actual 3D world, there are a lot of people who don’t know about their CP. I read the other day some tumblr blogger saying that “we bxg are in our own little bubble, not that many people know about their cp” (was that you, @jcisthebestfightme?) which I agree a lot with. I mean, my w/ibo account and tumblr is filled with bjyx/yizhan, so much that it’s easy to forget that I arranged it to be like this, but that the majority of the people don’t receive so much info about them, nor they analyze their every move like we do.

The only thing they can know for sure is what general population thinks about same sex relationships.

In a recent poll I saw, with thousands of answers about what netizens thought of the legalization of same sex marriage in Taiwan, the supporting votes didn’t get to 50%. In Taiwan, public opinion was like this around the time same sex marriage was legalized:

An opinion poll conducted in November 2016 by the Kuomintang found that 52% of the Taiwanese population supported same-sex marriage, while 43% were opposed. Another poll commissioned that same month found similar numbers: 55% in support, and 45% in opposition. Support was higher among 20–29-year-olds (80%), but decreased significantly with age. (Wikipedia)

(I just want to say, I can’t wait for the younger generations to take over).

More data: the public stance in China could be described as: “no approval, no disapproval, no promotion”, and the public opinion is becoming more and more tolerant, but there’s still a deep-set homophobia, as in only 5% of the lgbt people comes out completely (around 20% comes out to their family), and around 80% of gay men are married to women due to social and family pressure (ofc, these data is from a few years ago, and new polls and surveys are needed, but don’t expect them to carry out a wide-range survey about this nor I think the situation has changed drastically).

In my opinion, society is slowly taking more steps towards tolerance first and acceptance second. One of their best achievement was the lgbt community and many netizens’ refusal to allow w/ibo to instate a ban on content related to homosexuality, which led to w/ibo actually reversing its decision and stop banning that content in less than 3 days.

However, the fact that a lot of people express their support doesn’t take away the truth of a lot of people openly opposing it (let’s remember that there weren’t so many antis to start with in 2/27, but its effects were undeniably large and unjust).

(If any of you read more data about lgbt rights in China, please remember that Hong Kong receives a lot more Western influence, and that public opinion in HK does not represent the actual situation in mainland Chn. Ofc, because they’re more open to lgbt, there are also more data and polls carried out in HK, so a lot of info is HK based).

Leaving this kind of data aside, let’s take another matter of numbers. While they have in total 4 million fans in the supertopics, dd has as of now 35,400,000 fans following him on w/ibo and gg has 26,690,000 fans.

One thing I’m sure they are aware of is the discussion that arises from time to time between the solo fans and the bxg. Another thing they must be aware of, specially dd, is that their fanbase has a lot of females who are their fans, not just because of their talent, but also because they’re single and therefore they can fantasize about being with them.

All in all, even though a lot of people support them, there would be also quite a number of “disappointed” people, with the danger of them becoming antis.

So while I do think they appreciate it, and leave clues specifically for us, and dd goes as far as interacting with bxg, I also feel that gg and dd might not see widespread support, enough so they’d feel comfortable coming out completely with the current public stance on homosexual relationships in Chn.

(And again, from my pov, they aren’t in the closet with their family and friends).

And last, but not least, does “coming out respecting the censorship and not talking about it with the media” mean that it would be known by the general public, or, at least, their fans (in a very hypothetic case, since I don’t know how this could be achieved)? Because then, even if they didn’t talk about it with the media, it would be as good as coming out publicly.

In an idol’s life there’s no “private” and “public”. There’s only “public” and “secret” (and by secret I mean things they “hide” in public/don’t talk about, even though people next to them might know about it). The line between public and private is very very blurred in the c-ent industry.

I always remember the case of an actor who had an affair. Because of his affair (he was married and had a son), he lost endorsements, he was taken out of tv programs and literally erased from filmed episodes. The things he did in private affected very directly his job (I don’t approve of the affair, but the consequences it had surprised me a lot). 

So, while I do think that gg and dd are getting bolder with time, when they were both very startled by the “you’d lose your job if you were in a relationship” phrase, the fear was real and palpable. However, I’m aware that that was their stance a year ago, and that a lot of things have changed (heck, we’ve gone through a pandemic, something I couldn’t have imagined a year ago), so I’m going to observe how they act from now.

That’s why, “coming out willingly would also save them from being eventually outed..” is true, but it’s also true that it would push them into a storm I’m not sure they’d come out completely unscathed. And it may be selfish, but I don’t want them to be the ones who test the public’s tolerance to gay idols.

I think I’m missing my point, so I’ll spell it out: if they want to come out, I’ll support them with everything I have, as I think many fans will do. If they ever prove us wrong dating another person, be it male or female, I’ll support them as a fan too. But I would like any action they take to be decided by them, instead of pressed by fans who just want a confirmation at any cost.

I’ve seen people saying that if they were really together, they should be “honest” with themselves and the audience and come out publicly. In my opinion, it’s easy to judge when you’re not the one who might lose something if you take a step in the wrong direction, and it’s not your income and your job in the line.

I’m sure (reminding you all that I believe that bjyxszd) that they’d come out completely if possible. I’m also sure that they have consulted with managers and public relations experts (and their team would have talked with them about it even if gg and dd didn’t bring it up). Therefore, I strongly believe they are doing what they think is better at the time being. 

To sum up: I’ll support whatever they do, but I don’t want others to push them to do things they don’t want/aren’t prepared to do. They are already between a rock and a hard place, so whatever they do with their relationship is absolutely their call.

So, anon, I hope I have answered you, but I leave here a short summary for you in the case the info was too scattered for you:

Would it be that impossible for dd and gg to come out as a couple (provided they respected censorship and didn't talk about it with the media)? I read the other day that homosexuality is not illegal in China, just talking about it and showing in the media, so could not someone as brave and crazy as dd attempt to come out outside of the media?

They might have come out to friends and family, and, based on dd’s interactions with the people around him and the words he has said, I do believe he has. Because gg is also an honest, sensible person, I think he might have done the same.

after all they are the first 3 shipped real couples in china, they do have support 

Chn is a big country. That means that in terms of public support, sometimes numbers that would be astronomically high in other countries, is not so much in Chn. Translating numbers into percentage, a 1% means 14 million people.

So it’s true that they have a lot of people supporting them, of course. 2 million people is a lot of people, especially considering that many don’t know about them. But when you have to take into account the general public (because it’d be a scandal), since their fans aren’t the only ones interacting with them, it’s still a low number.

Coming out willingly would also save them from being eventually outed.. 

That’s true in the case of family and friends. But if you’re talking about being outed in the media, that’s not possible. Known by the fans = Public.

And remember that in this case, the media wouldn’t talk about them, since talking about homosexuality in the media is prohibited. The problem would come from within the industry and the antis.