abimee

[abimee]

so whos ready to find out i used fun home production photos as refferences for this character 8 years later

A small “s” in front of the dynamic notations means “subito”, and means that the dynamic is to change to the new notation rapidly

[abimee]

if youve noticed ive made absolutely 0 christmas related things because i could not give less of a fuck about this holiday at this point but i should post haurchefant christmas gimp for the occassion

[abimee]

ANYWAY!! ladies when are we going into BA together

[abimee]

deeply appreciate everyones support over the years but with the recent thing i want to remind whoever may have been here for a while that no matter how long youve been following me and no matter what you may think, you ultimately dont know me. If you relate to my art/posts thats wonderful and im very happy for that!!!! But just because you relate to my struggles/thoughts/art does not mean you know me intimately, and you dont know who i am or what i have.

I dont say this to alienate people but to remind you that theres always going to be a barrier between us and that we will never truly know each other, and to remember that before you approach me about anything or with the idea that we're friends/you know things about me. For all you know i can be straight up lying to you about anything, and again, i DO NOT say this to create some sort of doubt around me or to alienate people --- i say this to mean that you should not think of me as a friend, or that you know ''me'', purely through some tumblr posts. If you want to be my friend, you have to actually strike up conversation, send a letter to me or something, play ff14 with me, something that's not just staring at my text posts and claiming you've been around since my X days and have sent me Y amount of anon asks so of course we're besties. I have a small group of friends, and I know who they are, and they know who they are, and nobody else.

I will not name or identify this person, and if you go out of your way to look for them I will openly announce you as a harasser for forgoing my explicit confirmation that this person needs to be left alone --- but this past week, I had a confusing but ultimately harmless interaction with an indivitual tumblr follower, that when taken into privacy turned into a deeply invasive conversation, where a document was revealed to me having been written by this person about me, with an illustration of me inside, declaring multiple things about me that were not true, were not appropriate, and made me incredibly uncomfortable and stressed out. What this document was is nobody's business, but it was obviously written during some sort of mental health situation, and included the person invading my privacy regarding my ''alters''/personalities and believing many things about me, including marking me as a ''big brother'' to their ''little brother'', inadvertently implying I will become an ''introverted fascist'', and when I attempted to communicate with them my discomfort and that I wished to end the conversation they had continued to press me and send me strange messages. This was after being privately and publicly threatened as well. They eventually let the conversation end, but without any apology, and continued to @ me publicly as well.

This was, overall, an incredibly uncomfortable experience, and while I wish all the best for this person and what ever mental state they are in that made them do this, I am also allowed to be incredibly mad about it. Being threatened and then claimed to be the person's ''blood nephew'' in the same sentence is not the way to talk to someone, in an altered mental state or not.

But I do not want anything to come of this. I am airing out my discomfort and to show that people are way too comfortable treating me like shit, but if anybody goes out of their way to dig up who this person is and harasses/bothers them about this you are a piece of shit. Leave them alone, just like I asked them to do and have been doing in return. Let them deal with it on their own!

this is not an uncommon occurence, either. Back when I was discovering and dealing with what I now (and have known for years) was a case of delusional multiple personalities, I had complete strangers attempt to ''talk'' to these sides of myself or to ''get them out'' to talk. I, me, Rylan, have personally been pushed aside for these personalities, alongside people feeding into my delusions (with good intentions, but still,) purely because they got too comfortable with the idea of ''knowing'' me. I had been invited into a private discord server between me and two people, where the person (a mutual's) boyfriend broke down before me and started crying about how ''they'll never be as good as an artist'' as me, and I was made to be the target of this this self-destructive breakdown that was this person seeing me as ''above'' them and treating me on a pedestool. I have multiple times had people personally claim me as their friend and then never treat me with any respect, have had someone send me a death threat and harass me because they were a long-time follower who saw me as a friend until I made an off-hand harmless joke about their comfort character, and many more situations where I was placed into an uncomfortable situation purely because someone invaded my space/parasocialized a friendship between us as complete strangers, and then either made it my problem to deal with their low self esteem, or took it out on me when I did not act 100% to their liking.

I have been open with my Bipolar and my other mental disorders in the past because people wanted to know my experience, possibly help themselves consider something, but if being open creates situations like this then I won't do it anymore.

All I ask is some respect. I have been treated like shit since I was a teenager in highschool by complete strangers, and it's not healthy for me nor is it fun to feel like I'm constantly on the verge of having someone use their enjoyment of my art to treat me like some sort of bacteria on a petri dish, or the shit under their boots. I ask you leave me alone, dear god, just let me live and treat me with respect! I know who I am, and I want my privacy! If you want to be friends, you'll have to put actual work into it instead of just reblogging my art. Do not ever think you know anything about me unless I explictly confirm it. And please, dear god, let me rest! I'm tired of always having my privacy invaded! Please just act normal around me!

[abimee]

like look at this bus schedule and see if you can spot which row is the bus i take

[abimee]

to give everyone an idea where i'm at: I have one dono request to get to, one dono commission to get to, and one dono inquiry to get to, all of which I hope to get to by the end of this month. Everyone has also been kind enough to get me over halway to my goal yippee!

This has meant that I haven't had to worry about food/amenaties while unemployed --- we're still however without a car, but if I can make my $800 goal (which is only $360 usd if i'm doing the math right), I'll be set to January when we are expected to be able to get a vehicle again and therefore I can more reliably get a job Wahoo.png

Since I still owe dono commissions I still cannot take any more, but for as low as $1 usd now you can get a kofi request by me!! That means for a singular united states dollar you can get a drawing of any prompt (within reason --- 3 characters max) by yours truly in my sketch style

get some art of your favorite ship! or two random characters going to five guys! or your favorite video game npc redrawn in a meme format! all for as low as the price of a single mentos.

And thank you again everyone who has donated + who has been waiting patiently for their drawings I owe you all the world !!!!!!!!

[abimee]

i owe peteyboy for having the confidence to make ruyanchefant cause before it all i was such a like. staunchly ''oc x canon isnt for me'' type person. i didnt rain on anybody's parade i just was never into the idea of reading about someones oc in a pre-established world. now im haunted by no less than 3-4 wols owned by ppl who dont know i exist

[abimee]

its been TWO YEARS of both after hours and peter. op saw the original drawing in progress and ever since ive been hoping to draw peter better than how i did when i was a fresh 18 year old and i did! i finally made some good art of the guy lol

[abimee]

@abimee​ blast back to 2018 or whenever the italian raised hell

Keep reading

[abimee]

speaking of heres the italian

[abimee]

to give everyone an idea where i'm at: I have one dono request to get to, one dono commission to get to, and one dono inquiry to get to, all of which I hope to get to by the end of this month. Everyone has also been kind enough to get me over halway to my goal yippee!

This has meant that I haven't had to worry about food/amenaties while unemployed --- we're still however without a car, but if I can make my $800 goal (which is only $360 usd if i'm doing the math right), I'll be set to January when we are expected to be able to get a vehicle again and therefore I can more reliably get a job Wahoo.png

Since I still owe dono commissions I still cannot take any more, but for as low as $1 usd now you can get a kofi request by me!! That means for a singular united states dollar you can get a drawing of any prompt (within reason --- 3 characters max) by yours truly in my sketch style

get some art of your favorite ship! or two random characters going to five guys! or your favorite video game npc redrawn in a meme format! all for as low as the price of a single mentos.

And thank you again everyone who has donated + who has been waiting patiently for their drawings I owe you all the world !!!!!!!!

[abimee]

he picked up another one

for only $6 a month you can get unsolicited death threats

[abimee]

vs 2024

art vs artist 2016 vs 2018 vs 2019 vs 2020 vs 2022 vs 2023

[abimee]

hopefully the final update: We have worked out the issue with withdrawals and believe we're going to be able to get a car in January/February, depending on if my mother gets her holiday bonus. That means I just need the $200 USD thats left of the goal and we'll hopefully be squared away and I won't have to crowdfund anymore!

If you're waiting on your dono piece I promise I will get them out as soon as I can, if you feel i've taken a long time you can even personally message me with a second request for free to make up for the wait. Thank you everyone who has donated and spread this around so far!!!!!!!!!!

to give everyone an idea where i'm at: I have one dono request to get to, one dono commission to get to, and one dono inquiry to get to, all of which I hope to get to by the end of this month. Everyone has also been kind enough to get me over halway to my goal yippee!

This has meant that I haven't had to worry about food/amenaties while unemployed --- we're still however without a car, but if I can make my $800 goal (which is only $360 usd if i'm doing the math right), I'll be set to January when we are expected to be able to get a vehicle again and therefore I can more reliably get a job Wahoo.png

Since I still owe dono commissions I still cannot take any more, but for as low as $1 usd now you can get a kofi request by me!! That means for a singular united states dollar you can get a drawing of any prompt (within reason --- 3 characters max) by yours truly in my sketch style

get some art of your favorite ship! or two random characters going to five guys! or your favorite video game npc redrawn in a meme format! all for as low as the price of a single mentos.

And thank you again everyone who has donated + who has been waiting patiently for their drawings I owe you all the world !!!!!!!!

[abimee]

ending the year of 2024 with being assigned asexual is also really funny

[abimee]

in other news after all of that happened over there i ended up getting really into tea so now ive procured myself some yue guang bai/moonlight white tea and also a mixed blend rooibos and im just waiting for when i find enough really cheap thrifted cups/items for a tea ceremony to dip in. also despite the stressful situation happening In general i am feeling pretty okay :]