#i hate them all bc they get in the way of my job
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Hi I would like to delve deeper into the oasis lore and was wondering if you have any book recs ?
I read that the supersonic book (containing all the interviews from the doc) is quiet extensive, and obvi from the sources themselves, but maybe you have other Recs that you found interesting?
we were delighted to get this ask, bc yes yes YES we DO have loads of opinions on the oasis books! Be aware that most of these cover sort of the same time period (my spirit mourns for an in-depth book dealing with the mid-to-late aughts). Presumably every publishing house in the UK circa 1996 was offering book deals to randos if they heard the name "Oasis", but these are the best ones (there are, if you can believe it, many more):
The Supersonic interviews are a definite rec -- they're exhaustive, cover way more than the doc suggests, and feature a lot more voices too. The editing job is astounding. Definitely be aware while reading that the interviews were conducted in 2015; with Oasis especially, facts and feelings change depending on time, mood, the wind, whether one is hungover, etc
Brothers from childhood to Oasis by Paul Gallagher. If one never reads any other book on Oasis, they should read this. In fact, no one is permitted to have an opinion on Noel or Liam without having read it. Paul has his blindspots, as one would expect with any sibling, but he also ofc knows his brothers and what makes them tick in a way no one else on the planet does, so!
Oasis: what's the story? by Ian Robertson. This one is somewhat controversial; the author was a bodyguard/security coordinator for Oasis and people understandably have opinions on that. Imo he's a good enough writer that he has a very clear authorial voice and perspective, which makes any worry about being fed lies moot so long as one has a brain. I appreciate he also takes some artistic risks in this book. Also, regardless of his flaws as a man or employee lol, he has a keen, at times painfully empathetic read on Liam specifically. iirc he was the only person who wrote about Oasis in those early years who had a front row seat to Liam's voice/throat problems, which lends a somewhat Cassandraic air to the whole book.......
Getting high: the adventures of Oasis by Paolo Hewitt. Oh, Paolo. What can we say. You have to read this one because it covers so much ground, just be aware it's badly written and the author is quite biased towards Noel. (I say this as a Noelist myself)
Was There Then: A Photographic Journey by Jill Furmanovsky. This is a photography book (and a fucking beautiful one) but it also has a TON of text background. Critically, it offers a perspective on the band/brothers missing from all the rest in this list -- that is, the view and impressions of two women who worked closely with the band (Jill herself and Daniela Soave, a music journalist)
Oasis, definitely by Tim Abbot. This one had a lot of personality and abbot was a creation guy so he knew the band pretty well.
Take Me There: Oasis' Story by Paul Mathur. Mathur was a Melody Maker journalist who followed them around in the early years. He had a pretty fair take on them.
The Truth: my life as Oasis's drummer by Tony McCarroll. So, obviously Tony hates Noel, like. A lot. You have to approach this book like you're giving a hostile witness a cross examination lol but THAT SAID, he does cover stuff missing from other books like pre-deal Oasis.
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SWEET LIFE
A/n- this is so self indulgent. like seriously. maknae line x f. reader fluff yes plz! might get a hyung line version bc I like the concept (maybe if yall want it) but this is just a vibe so vibe with me. nsfw (weed mention) . enjoy and feel free to visit my inbox as I am taking requests. <3
Your apartment was a little crowded today. Considering it was everybody's off day. The boys decided to spend most of it at your place. Your apartment for them was a safe haven away from prying eyes and demanding schedules.
You didn't mind having them all over as you hated when you were alone. The noise they brought provided you a piece of comfort. After grueling rehearsals all week and your never-ending day job, this was a much-needed moment of peace.
“Someone take the scissors out of Jisung’s hand thank you very much!” you say as you prepare yourself for the task of taking down your braids. Your next appointment is in the upcoming week and you wanted to give your hair some time to breathe. With the length they're at, it was going to take a while. But of course, your boys are ever excited to help you out. Well most of them.
I feel like you’re scamming me babe.” says Seungmin as he grabs the scissors from Jisung. No one wanted to risk your wraith if he cut too high.
"I don't know what are you talking about Minnie I'd never scam you beloved," you say in your defense.
"yeah because five dollars is a completely reasonable nonscamming price," he says with a smile. Taking your braids gently out of the bonnet you had them in. Seungmin didn't want to pull on them if he could help it.
Jisung, now scissorless, took a seat beside you on the floor. Setting the blunt wraps on the coffee table in front of you. Preparing to roll for you and himself.
"I wish you would let me help more," he said with a pout on his face. You wanted to kiss it off him.
"you are helping sungie your presence is enough. It keeps me calm. Plus no one else rolls a blunt for me as good as you do." you comfort me as you kiss his now smiling lips. That seemed to satisfy him enough as he started the rolling process.
Felix came bounding into the living room from his napping spot in your room, flopping himself on the couch and picking up the remote to the TV. Channel surfing for something interesting to watch.
"Ugh, nothing is interesting to watch on TV. Felix complained while sliding down the couch to the floor as if he was melting in boredom.
"You could always just hook up the game and play Mario Kart or something. Go see if one of the boys wanna play with you," you suggested. Smiling at his antics as he crawled across the floor to give you a kiss. "You always have the best ideas, babe." He said as he practically skipped out of the room. Making your face flush at his praise. Just waving it off as Jisung teased you for your reaction.
A soft moan left your mouth as Seungmin got to the root of a braid. His hands gently unbraiding and giving your scalp a little rub to loosen up the tension. His hands felt so heavenly on your head after the rough week you had.
Felix took his time dragging a sleepy Jeongin into the room. It seems as if he found his gaming partner, although unwillingly. Going straight to the TV to set everything up, meanwhile, Jeongin sleepily made his way to you. Placing his head in your lap as he pulled himself closer to your stomach. You just laughed softly at his cat-like antics. Reminding you of a certain someone.
"Tell Felix to let me sleep." Jeongin groaned. His warm breath hits the exposed skin on your stomach. Hands hin his hair as you stroking softly.
"Now you know once Lix has his mind set on something there is no telling him anything." you comfort the boy.
"But I'm so tired and you're so warm and comfortable Don't make me go over there to that heathen."
Felix can get kind of crazy while gaming but before you could even suggest a solution the sunshine boy dragged the sleepy one out of your embrace. A groan erupts from the latter. There was no saving him now.
An object in front of your vision distracted you from the two gaming boys. It was the blunt Jisung rolled especially for you. To take the edge off a rough week. Encouraging you to take a hit he placed it right between your lips. Murmurung a "There you go. good girl." as you inhaled. Normally you would correct him for goodgirling you but today you didn't care. So you let him get away with it. Plus he could roll one hell of a blunt. And it was kind of hard to be cross with his hand on your thigh and Seungmin'd in your hair. In fact, you were quite content.
"Chan texted he and the hyungs should be home in a bit," Felix said from in front of the TV.
"Good, that's just enough time for Jisung to roll another one," you suggested. Tugging on the hem of his shirt. Maybe you were too high, because you really wanted him to take it off. Yeah, you were so high.
"Hey, I'm not rolling for those losers! I roll for you, and for you only! They have their own hands." Jisung protested as he offered it to Seungmin to which the younger declined, stating that he had to stay focused on your hair. Something about his statement made your heart swell. It's a nice feeling to be cared for.
Jisung then offered to blunt the other two in the room. They on the other hand accepted his offer. It was often he shared his blunts with anyone other than his girl. He said it was the gentlemen in him.
Time passed as you all waited for the older ones to get home. The more that passed the higher you got, and soon enough everyone in the room was higher than you originally intended to be. You could tell in the way everyone was lying to each other. Felix and Jeongin are a pile of limbs, their game long abandoned. Music is playing from the speakers as they whisper secrets to each other, giggling like school children while watching random videos on their phones. You were still seated between Seungmin's legs. His hands still dutifully unbraiding. Ever dedicated to his craft. But you could tell he was contact high as well. You could tell in the way he would kiss your head ever so often. A gentle reminder of his affection for you.
Jisung was sitting in your lap, playing with random parts of your body. Your face arms legs had all been prodded by him, not that it bothered you in the slightest. His touch left sparks all over you. You were having conversations about whatever came to mind. And finding comfort in one another. The atmosphere is warm and cozy. You wish every day could be like this.
#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fluff#stray kids imagines#stray kids reactions#stray kids scenarios#stray kids headcanons#yeahspider#lee felix x reader#lee felix imagines#lee felix fluff#kim seungmin x reader#kim seungmin fluff#kim seungmin imagines#han jisung x reader#han jisung fluff#han jisung imagines#yang jeongin fluff#yang jeongin x reader#yang jeongin imagines
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there’s something quite magical about the equal hatred of each of bosses in-laws
#i hate them all bc they get in the way of my job#boss dad doesn’t like his in-laws bc they talk down to them and generally overstep a lot#boss mom hates her inlaws bc they think she’s not smart enough for boss dad#and they’re generally disconnected from trying to bond with their grandkids#the only one i like from either of their families is the dads youngest brother but mostly bc he’s closer to me in age and takes neither of#their families seriously
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listen I know it’s kind of corny and inaccurate to act like every single person in the dc universe knows each other and is besties but it IS endlessly funny to me to follow the web of connections and see how many degrees removed from each other everyone is.
like look at the arrowfam okay. ollie and dinah are together, ollie is homoerotic best friends with hal, dinah is homoerotic best friends with babs. roy is dating dick, has a kid with jade, and is basically an adoptive father to both grant emerson and rose wilson. connor is dating kyle and is constantly followed around by eddie fyers. mia is friends with a lot of the second gen teen titans kids, had an on-again-off-again thing going on with steph for a while, and is currently dating sienna. emiko is besties with courtney and some of the other recent teen titans. sin has a small army of protective aunts from the birds of prey. the real question is how far does it go before ollie puts a cap on the number of people who are invited to family brunch on sundays
#arrowfam#LIKE. PLSSSS#can you imagine them all in one room.#roy: hey ollie can garth come to brunch this week.. he’s in town and i never get to see him and he really wants to try your pancakes#ollie: idk roy we’re already at max capacity..#roy: please dad🥺🥺🥺🥺#ollie: …..fine. someone will have to be uninvited then#mia: why? what’s one more person?#ollie: bc I have Very Strict Rules!!! If I don’t follow the invite limit then the whole town’ll show up every week!#connor what about axing kyle#connor: …dad. I am not disinviting my boyfriend and Only Guest to brunch bc of your arbritrary rules.#ollie: fine that’s fair. um…#mia: what about grant#ollie: for the last time mia we are not banning your nephew from family brunch because he allegedly#ate some of your bacon one time. it was not a big deal and you need to get over it#mia: UMM‼️‼️ it was a big deal TO ME🗣️🗣️and I don’t appreciate you INVALIDATING my emotions like this‼️‼️#ollie: uhhh emiko what about courtney. she comes over like every week will she be fine sitting this one out#emiko: I can’t believe this. how dare you deny my ONLY FRIEND IN THE WORLD an invitation to brunch. it’s like you hate me#ollie: EMI I KNOW YOU PATENTLY HAVE MORE FRIENDS. who have BEEN TO BRUNCH BEFORE.#emiko: YOU CAN’T TAKE COURTNEY FROM MEEEEEE#ollie: FINE ok.#roy: why don’t you just tell hal not to come all the way down here for brunch I mean he’s here every week anyway#ollie: bc it’s hal okay. mind your own business.#roy: fine. but we’re running out of people#connor: I mean………. what about eddie#ollie: ………….. yeah ok I’m sold. that works. meeting adjourned good job team#mia: why are you so worked up about keeping attendance low anyway#ollie: MY KITCHEN TABLE CAN ONLY FIT SO MANY SUPERHEROES MIA
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actually i'm still thinking about the moral orel finale.
he has a cross on his wall. do you know how much i think about that bc it's a lot.
a lot of stories ((auto)biographical or fictional) centering escape from abusive/fundamentalist christianity result in the lead characters leaving behind christianity entirely. and that makes complete sense! people often grow disillusioned with the associated systems and beliefs, and when it was something used to hurt them or something so inseparable from their abuse that they can't engage with it without hurting, it makes total sense that they would disengage entirely. and sometimes they just figure out that they don't really believe in god/a christian god/etc. a healthy deconstruction process can sometimes look like becoming an atheist or converting to another religion. it's all case by case. (note: i'm sure this happens with other religions as well, i'm just most familiar with christian versions of this phenomenon).
but in orel's case, his faith was one of the few things that actually brought him comfort and joy. he loved god, y'know? genuinely. and he felt loved by god and supported by him when he had no one else. and the abuses he faced were in how the people in his life twisted religion to control others, to run away from themselves, to shield them from others, etc. and often, orel's conflicts with how they acted out christianity come as a direct result of his purer understanding of god/jesus/whatever ("aren't we supposed to be like this/do that?" met with an adult's excuse for their own behavior or the fastest way they could think of to get orel to leave them alone (i.e. orel saying i thought we weren't supposed to lie? and clay saying uhhh it doesn't count if you're lying to yourself)). the little guy played catch with god instead of his dad, like.. his faith was real, and his love was real. and i think it's a good choice to have orel maintain something that was so important to him and such a grounding, comforting force in the midst of. All That Stuff Moralton Was Up To/Put Him Through. being all about jesus was not the problem, in orel's case.
and i know i'm mostly assuming that orel ended up in a healthier, less rigid version of christianity, but i feel like that's something that was hinted at a lot through the series, that that's the direction he'd go. when he meditates during the prayer bee and accepts stephanie's different way to communicate, incorporating elements of buddhism into his faith; when he has his I AM A CHURCH breakdown (removing himself from the institution and realizing he can be like,, the center of his own faith? taking a more individualistic approach? but Truly Going Through It at the same time), his acceptance (...sometimes) of those who are different from him and condemned by the adults of moralton (stephanie (lesbian icon stephanie my beloved), christina (who's like. just a slightly different form of fundie protestant from him), dr chosenberg (the jewish doctor from otherton in holy visage)). his track record on this isn't perfect, but it gets better as orel starts maturing and picking up on what an absolute shitfest moralton is. it's all ways of questioning the things he's been taught, and it makes sense that it would lead to a bigger questioning as he puts those pieces together more. anyway i think part of his growth is weeding out all the lost commandments of his upbringing and focusing on what faith means to him, and what he thinks it should mean. how he wants to see the world and how he wants to treat people and what he thinks is okay and right, and looking to religion for guidance in that, not as like. a way to justify hurting those he's afraid or resentful of, as his role models did.
he's coming to his own conclusions rather than obediently, unquestioningly taking in what others say. but he's still listening to pick out the parts that make sense to him. (edit/note: and it's his compassion and his faith that are the primary motivations for this questioning and revisal process, both of individual cases and, eventually, the final boss that is christianity.) it makes perfect sense as the conclusion to his character arc and it fits the overall approach of the show far better. it's good is what i'm saying.
and i think it's important to show that kind of ending, because that's a pretty common and equally valid result of deconstruction. and i think it cements the show's treatment of christianity as something that's often (and maybe even easily) exploited, but not something inherently bad. something that can be very positive, even. guys he even has a dog he's not afraid of loving anymore. he's not afraid of loving anyone more than jesus and i don't think it's because he loves this dog less than bartholomew (though he was probably far more desperate for healthy affection and companionship when he was younger). i think it's because he figures god would want him to love that dog. he's choosing to believe that god would want him to love and to be happy and to be kind. he's not afraid of loving in the wrong way do you know how cool that is he's taking back control he's taking back something he loves from his abusers im so normal
#i had a really big fundie snark phase a year or two ago so that's part of like. this. but im still not used to actually talking about#religious stuff so if it reads kinda awkwardly uhh forgive me orz idk#maybe it sounds dumb but i like that the message isn't 'religion is evil'. it easily could have been. but i think the show's points about#how fundie wasp culture in particular treats christianity and itself and others would be less poignant if they were like. and jesus sucks#btw >:] like. this feels more nuanced to me. i guess there's probably a way to maintain that nuance with an ultimately anti-christian#piece of media but i think it'd be like. wayy harder and it's difficult for me to imagine that bc i think a lot of it would bleed out into#the tone. + why focus on only These christians when They're All also bad? so you'd get jokes about them in general#and i think that's kinda less funny than orel and doughy screaming and running from catholics lsdkjfldksj#i think the specificity makes it more unique and compelling as comedy and as commentary. but that's just me#like moralton represents a very particular kind of christian community (namely a middle class fundie wasp nest)#you're not gonna be able to get in the weeds as much if you're laughing at/criticizing all christians. but they accomplish it so thoroughly#and WELL in morel and i think that's because it chose a smaller target it can get to dissect more intimately. anyway#moral orel#orel puppington#(OH also when i say wasp here i mean WASP the acronym. as in white anglo-saxon protestsant. in case the term's new to anyone <3)#maybe it's also relevant to say that i'm kindaaaaaaaa loosely vaguely nonspecifically christian. so there's my bias revealed#i was never raised like orel but i like to think i get some of what's going on in there y'know. in that big autistic head of his#but it's not like i can't handle anti-christian/anti-religious media/takes. i'm a big boy and also i v much get why it's out there yknow#christianity in specific has a lot of blood on its hands from its own members and from outsiders and people have a right to hate it for tha#but religion in all its forms can be positive and i appreciate the nuance. like i've said around 20 times. yeah :) <3#(<- fighting for my life to explain things even though my one job is to be the explainer)
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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my boss telling me there's an easier way to do something after she bothered IT when the way they showed her was exactly the same I did??? AND she completely did not absorb an important nuance about the data until IT told her (even though I mentioned it SEVERAL times)
#i hate being a woman in tech#shit like this happens all the time. IT is either doing the exact same shit i do or doing it WORSE bc it's a bunch of old men#me: you just need to add the state filter#her: look at this much easier way to get the data!#the data: exactly the same but it has the state filter??????#girl i was trying to build you a template you can use instead of doing it from scratch every time!!! I WAS TRYING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASY#anyway it's incredibly frustrating sometimes to know more about our system than IT#bc i just have to sit there and hear them be like 'oh we figured out this new thing' and i'm like miles ahead already#training us on stuff like bro i BUILT this at my last job. please.#i guess it's bc of data integrity. i am always explaining the issues w the data as well and they don't wanna hear it#sigh. i need a fuckin snack
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my absolutely biggest online pet peeve is US centric people projecting their rich sorority girl bully stereotype of nurses onto everyone else, as if nurses aren't working class and mostly immigrants of colour everywhere else. and when did it become cool to hate on underpaid and exploited workers anyway
#*when i say ''everywhere else'' i mean sweden specifically. idk what it's like in other countries#anyway it bothers me to no end#most of my coworkers are 1. very nice and 2. quite poor and part of many oppressed classes and groups#a vast majority of them are either single mothers who have immigrated from the middle east or africa#or young afghan men who came here in 2015-2021 during the refugee wave#on many shifts ive been 1. the only nurse born in sweden and 2. the only female nurse#your experiences are not universal#the way the internet talks about nurses bothers me to no end! not every nurse makes insane dollars a year and is blonde and married to a cop#i googled this once and american nurses on average make 2x or even nearly 4x of what i made at my previous job. depending on state#enough ppl in the ward i worked at were muslim that we celebrated ramadan all of us basically. not exactly but it did affect the schedule#many of my coworkers could barely afford clothes for all their kids and we all worked crazy hours and kept getting overworked and burnt out#i hate the american stereotype!!!!!#''nurses are mostly high school bullies who like being in control of and hurting vulnerable people'' no! that isn’t true! it just isn’t!#lots of bad healthcare isnt bc the workers are sadists.its bc the resources from the government are lacking and the workers are understaffed#like#we know when the care isn’t good. and it feels Bad actually to not be able to do it better#lots ppl change professions bc of the ethical stress. it's not fun. and sometimes it's obvious a patient feels like theyre not getting heard#but you don't have the time to sit down and listen or whatever else. there isn't time or resources for it#and a lot of crucial vital conditions/symptoms sometimes get missed bc of lack of resources and competence quitting#it's not bc nurses are evil and want ppl to die and suffer. i feel like this has got to be some kind of propaganda circulating#it's such a bizarre stereotype when you think about it. and it's just not true to reality. idk#anyway what do i know. maybe they are actually evil in america. it's possible. a lot of bizarre things are true in america#i just hate the narrative online#pickapost
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#thanks everyone for all the kind messages#like seriously thank you#I guess it was one of those things where I was having a really shitty week and then I came on tumblr and just the one thing set me off#and affected me way more than it usually would have#this past week was good for me though#I had three interviews and two of them were for jobs I really really want#and one of them is my dream job so hopefully I get it!#but even if I don’t… I genuinely think the interview went really good like all three of them! so I’m happy for that like#it gave me more practice#anyways with five days away I guess I made my point lmfaooooo#I was angry and upset but tbh anon hate is nothing new and it’ll keep happening sooooo#I was genuinely touched by all the sweet messages!#and also laughed at the ones which were just begging me not to leave poyt unfinished 😂😂😂 like I love the honesty there#but I laughed in a touched way bc I understand that even those asks came from a good place like the intention was good#ANYWAYS yes I was very very upset but this week went good for me so I’m in a much better place#I guess I’m going through a very rocky time irl so it’s making me more sensitive to small things that didn’t affect me before#like anon hate I mean usually I honestly find it entertaining and funny 😶😶😶#but yeah that one thing got to me but whatever!!! we move#anyways how r y’all!#I’m free this weekend so I’ll be active on here as usual hehe
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So so so fucking angry tonight
#mars says stuff#EVERYTHING IN MY PERSONAL LIFE IS LEGIT FINE I PROMMY#IM JUST SO SICK OF THE ZIONIST MISINFORMATION AND MILQUETOAST APATHETIC DEMOCRAT BULLSHIT THAT#I FEEL COMPLICIT IN BC I WORK FOR A RADIO STATION AND I HAVE TO PUMP OUT NEWS PROMOS#AND ITS THE ONLY JOB I HAVENT BEEN FIRED FROM#AND IM SO FUCKING SICK OF THE RAMPANT TRANSPHOBIA AND ESPECIALLY TRANSMISOGYNY#EVERYWHERE I FUCKING GO AND TO HAVE OTHER TMASC PPL BE LIKE 'LMAO THATS NOT REAL AND IF IT IS ITS NOT THAT BAD THESE CRAZY BITCHES'#WHEN I SEE IT ONLINE AND IN PERSON EVERY FUCKING DAY AND IM NOT EVEN THE ONE IT EFFECTS#AND I TRY TO ENGAGE IN MY COMMUNITY. THERES A JUNETTENTH EVENT IM GOING TO TMR TO TRY AND SCOUT OUT SOME LOCAL ORGS#I CAN VOLUNTEER FOR TO TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER IN MY COMMUNITY#but tonight i just feel shitty and small and ineffectual and hypocritical and angry and cowardly#AND EVERYONES LIKE OH DEAL WITH THAT ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY THATLL HELP#MOTHERFUCKER I USE IT AS FUEL TO MAKE ART. TO PLAY MUSIC. TO TRY NOT TO FLUNK OUT OF A SCHOOL THAT I HATE BC OF THE INSTITUTIONS IT UPHOLDS#and i never have enough after my bills are paid to donate to all the gofundmes both here and in palestine i want to help out#im just so fucking mad. but im also 5'3“ and awkward and chubby and I cant fight and all of my friends tease me for it and it comes from a#place of love and im not mad at them. i just wish i could kick someones ass tonight. some fucking bigot i could put all my rage behind#and just keep hitting and hitting until the fucker stopped moving. but i cant do that. both not physically and also bc i Might Lose Everythi#ng#ill delete this tomorrow#time to watch some shitty youtube videos and eat something and get high enough that i dont feel so fucking mad#just consume my way out of it lmao
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I wish I could handle myself in an argument without fucking crying
#My dad just got back from a like. educator’s conference on ai#and was like ‘wow it’s just so amazing. I wish students didn’t use it to cheat but it’s amazing’#and he’s talking about how he would be fine to see art and writing and stuff created by ai if he couldn’t tell the different. and was like.#if you can’t tell why would you care? to me#and I was like ??? Because I want to see things created by my fellow man? because I want to see things created by passion and love#for the craft? because I want the stories I consume to benefit talented creators and not just big corporations?#Because I want people to being able to share their art with the world instead of it all being created by a computer trained on#nonconsenting parties??#and he was like ‘yknow you really shouldn’t position yourself so anti ai. you’re never gonna be able to get a job with that attitude’#and I’m just like ‘I don’t want a job that uses ai as it currently stands? and unless this shit improves drastically I probably won’t?’#and he was like ‘well you’re gonna fuck yourself’ and then went into this long metaphor and then said that this was just like how#I hate board games and that I shouldn’t commit so hard to my dislike of something bc I’ll be missing out#when that’s not even the fucking same thing! I wish I liked board games! I wish I could share in something that literally all of my friends#love and not be a fucking bummer at parties bc I either don’t play and look weird or I do play and feel like shit and probably act like#an ass! I wish I liked board games! I simply do not enjoy playing them! I find them stressful and unenjoyable!#I don’t like ai bc I don’t like the way it’s trained! I don’t like the way companies are trying to use it! I don’t want to make or consume#things that were created by an algorithm when I have beautiful art and writing and creations by passionate people who I think should be pai#and at this point I start crying bc he’s telling me I’m never gonna get a job bc god forbid I have some principles and keeps comparing it t#the board game thing which he already knows I’m fucking sensitive about!#and I have to run upstairs like a pussy bc I don’t wanna keep talking about it bc now I’m fucking crying#I hate how I can’t get even a little bit passionate without just getting emotional. I hate that I can’t handle myself#it sucks bc now I’m sure I just look like an idiot and my evening is ruined
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha
#IM BAKCIJ THE FUCKIGN BUIDLIGN .AGAIN. AUSUSUXHEHWHGLHKF#im grateful i have an internship for this summer with the way the job market is like currently.#im grateful that i have the opportunity to lessen the burden on my parents shoulders. im grateful that this job can pay rent and groceries#and tuition for a few terms im grateful i get to gain experience while still in school that will hekp me in the future#IM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THIS!!!!! BUT STILL I FUCLING HATE EVERYTHJGN#i hate being unable to eat anything ir sleep at night bc all i can think about is shit i have work tomorrow i have to email this guy and#finish these tasks and impress my manager and be approachable and enthusiastic and eager to learn and not make any mistakes#and not fail anything bc im getting graded on this its alwags grades its always the fucking grades#isnt it. it was the grades that had me crying on walks home from school when i was 9 and it was grades that made me waste away 9th grade#it was grades that made me unable to stomach anything during weeks with tests and it was and is still grades that#dictate every single fucking part of my life#and even tho the ppl who used to yell at me for getting a B in math in 5th grade are no longer yelling at me for getting 60s in linear algeb#ra and stats and calculus and cs#haha.ha when ur university is famous for its.. horribly high suicdie rates#i find that the yelling comes from me now. ive replaced the adults who would sit beside me at the dinner table#yelling bc yea guess what 8 year old me didnt understand division at first#god i hate this school so much. i hate what im studying im gratefula nd am so privileged to be ahle to further my educarion and receive#all these experiences mot everyone can have but god everytime i return to the city where the school is#i feel like throwing up and sobbing and just never ipening my eyes again#haha yea. i hope i csn get a job to support myself in the future#i hope i can still have time for hobbies#why si everyone at school so good at everything#ive met more people who have passed their rcm 10 and arct exams for piano than those who havent#i have classes with people who have already published research papers with professors in the states#my classmates can breeze through a cs assignment while still playing fir varisty teams. working out everyday. goijg ti parties.#eating and cooking balsnced meals each week. having a social life..the whole combo#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day#how do i become like them#why was this about work anxiety at first and why is it about the eternal imposter syndrome and lack of self confidence#i just want money man... i dont give a shit about snything anymore
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Trying to fix my resume ☝️🤓 Small problem: I sound like a loser no matter what
#not really lol. I have a lot of experience in this field#for someone my age anyway#but like. idk 😭 I wanna get out of journalism I HATE journalism#I’m applying for publishing internships and idk I just wish I had more publishing experience….#a lot of my extracurriculars are music related and idk if I should include them or not#just to fill space ig#bc I have only ever had one singular job#and one other piece of experience as editor in chief#idk maybe I just feel this way bc I’m using Harvard resume templates#and so I’m seeing everything that’s on a Harvard student’s resume 😭 like damn. I hope they’re not applying for this internship..#it’s based in NYC so I doubt I’ll get it? but like? idk how many applicants they get??? hm#there are also lots of different internships with the same company all listed rn so idk#I have until the end of the month to fix this shit hehahah#hopefully my cover letter will better demonstrate my relevance to this position#bc all of my journalism experience feels kinda irrelevant on paper. editing news is VERY different from editing communications research lol#ellyposting#🤓posting#<- kinda. it’s about work not school but I did start doing this (researching internships) for a class#and now I’m kinda invested bc I need an internship in the next year anyway… I could get it over with over the summer#idk. if I get a job this summer I will make a job tag like. jobposting. workposting. perhaps hellposting if it sucks really bad (again 🥲)#that’s why I’m scared of another internship. even though the last one was paid and so is this one… people are straight up abusive to interns#😅😅😅😅😅 AUGH. SCREAMS PUNCHES WALL etc#okay goodnight :3c
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tears of the kingdom could have been so good if it were built around like, its story or its characters instead of being a clunky shell to show off the mechanic no one asked for that it forces you to use
#*#text#totk#mechanics#i had fun scuttling around in the depths for a while but that got old eventually. for obvious reasons#what i liked about zelda games was always the atmosphere and character interactions#like. one of my favorite games is twilight princess. which is. deeply unserious in many ways#bit it COMMITTED to its setting and what the writers went ham making sure#that it was still full of whimsy and affection.#totk doesn't have that. the characters are all 1) instruction manuals or 2) vehicles for what small and disparate semblances of plot#survived whatever disaster must have happened in development that made them cannibalize several different ideas#and stick them into the shell for the fucking. arm#totk plays like a gallery or again just an engine for the building thing.#it's pretty. the music is good. the building thing is well made. but as a zelda game totk Fucking Tanks#i HATE overinvolved mechanics. i HATE having to stop and rely on a Whole Process that i have to keep stocked#to get anything done. i've always liked loz again bc of characters and whimsy but also bc it's always been mechanically vert streamlined#and accessible to someone like me who is disabled and finds fiddling EXTREMELY tedious#you have one required tool per dungeon and they're QUICK they're SIMPLE they're A GOOD TIME#totk. to me. is just clunky and has no redeeming qualities outside of again being pretty and still sort of nominally letting you run around#collecting things. some of the side quests were cute. but even then the characters were very.#THE THING ABOUT ZELDA GAMES IS THAT IM used TO THEM BEING ABOUT. NOT JUST THE FUNCTION!!!!!!#there were things— many of them! sometimes most of them even!!!— there just for fun. again almost especially The Characters#totk is so goddamn UTILITARIAN on all levels ITS. CLUNKY and BORING i don't WANT to have to do 30 things just so i can do something else.#hey nintendo. if you have to force people to play your game. like if you specifically have an ''open'' game and then subsequently have to#manufacturer MANY blocks and caveats to the idea of ''do whatever have fun!!'' so that it's''but only how WE want you to''. maybe thats bad.#maybe you've done a bad job. if again. you have to FORCE players to go about things in the way and order that you want. it's no fun.#like even zelda games where you have less options and linear progression feel less restrictive bc like. they don't fucking punish you.#for. playing the game. you just can't do things. totk really punishes you for going off script. which like. why even do that.#anyway. this is all probably incoherent. i'm right tho.#wow there are so many typos. pretend there are not <3
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