#meanwhile i get overwhelmed because i have to respond to an email and finish an assignment in one day

[immamapletreekid]

work anxiety starting before work itself hahahahaahahahahahahhhaha

[butterflyyeo]

jealous

pairing — han jisung x reader

genre — angst (?)

tw — slightly suggestive (?)

wc — 3035

a/n — yall idk wtf this is im trying my best to get better at writing angsty (???) stuff so im really sorry if this is absolute trash T^T. feedback is appreciated !!

———————————

you hadn't seen your brother, chan, for a long time, six months to be exact and of course you missed him dearly. when he called to tell you that he was coming home for a while you nearly cried of joy, however, the happiness faded when he mentioned that he'd be bringing his band mates, that meant changbin... and han jisung.

it wasn't exactly a secret that you didn't get along with jisung, and you never knew why. he always just irked you a bit, and on purpose too. it was constant bickering between the two of you, fortunately, chan and changbin had learnt to tolerate it. speaking of changbin, you actually quite liked him and he was rather fond of you too. chan knew this, in fact, chan saw all the underlying tension between you and the rest of 3racha. he was thankful that he was your brother, but he didn't have to intervene, he was fully aware that you could handle these things on your own. unless of course you asked for help, and in that case, he would go to war for you.

a sturdy knock hit the door a few times and you ran to the door, unlocking it.

"channie!!" you leaped onto him and hugged him tightly. he dropped his bags down to the floor just so he could hug you back. "i've missed you so much!" you said as you hopped down and picked up both of his bags.

he grinned, "i've missed you too, y/n."

your smile dropped almost instantly as you saw jisung leaning against the doorway, a smirk across his face that just made you want to slap him. faking a smile, you greeted changbin, "hey changbin! good to see you." he gave you a sincere nod and smile before picking up his suitcase. "now chan, shall i put these in the guest room?" you asked, chan was already going through the fridge, looking for food.

"mm." he mumbled. you took it as a yes and heaved his bags to the guest room, dumping them beside the bed. as you turned around to help changbin with his luggage, someone blocked your way.

"you didn't say hello to me?" jisung questioned, though, it sounded more like a statement.

huffing, you responded, "why would i?"

"because you love me," he said as he leaned in close. "and you missed me."

"you must be confused." you shrugged and pushed past him. that was too close for comfort. you thought as you walked out and picked up changbin's last bag.

"hey y/n," chan began, "what's for dinner?"

you sighed, "i'm gonna have to go shopping chan, i don't have enough food for all of you." you went to put your shoes on and a jacket too, since it was getting late and more chilly outside. "who wants to chauffeur me to the grocery store?" you joked.

"anything for you, my love." jisung said teasingly as he held his hand out to you.

"uh, i'd rather not." you swatted his hand away. "c'mon changbin, let's go!" you said while dragging changbin up from the sofa. he groaned, but honestly he didn't mind so much. he was just being a big baby.

the car trip was short and quiet, mainly because changbin was tired from all the travelling they had done to get to your house. plus, their schedule has been so full lately, they were lucky to have this time off.

wandering through isles, you began picking up ingredients and placing them intro a trolley.

"you really missed us?" changbin began, "me and chan of course..." he trailed off but a playful smile tugged at his lips.

"of course i am! jisung on the other hand..." you rolled your eyes, pushing the trolley along.

he chucked, "you really still hate each other? after all these years?"

you huffed, a little too obnoxiously, "yes. i do still hate him. and i'm sure he despises me too. i don't even know what it is... it's just... the way he treats me. he acts like he deserves my friendship, which he doesn't. it's something you earn."

"remind me to never piss you off." changbin laughed as he put a bag of chips in the trolley.

once you had everything you needed you put it through the register, changbin insisted he paid, since you were letting the three of them live with you.

shortly after you arrived home, you began cooking. while he wasn't the best, changbin offered to help as best he could. you actually thought it was really sweet. he passed you utensils, condiments and he even set the table.

meanwhile, chan was fast asleep in the guest room and jisung was showering in the provided ensuite. you turned to changbin and high fived him, "we're all done! i should wake up chan. you can start eating if you want." proud of his efforts, changbin sat down and began to eat.

gently pressing the door open to the guest room, you whispered, "chan? dinner is ready." you walked over to him and was about to softly shake him when jisung walked out of the bathroom, only a towel around his waist. his tousled wet hair dripped little drops of water down his chest and it was rather overwhelming to see him so exposed.

contrary to your thoughts, he couldn't care less, he enjoyed watching the way you panicked and blushed heavily. if this is what it takes. he thought.

"oh! um, jisung. i'm so sorry, i was just coming to tell chan that dinner is ready, i should've knocked or-" you blurted out in a quiet voice, weary of chan waking up.

jisung let out a low chuckle, "it's fine, y/n. i'll wake him up once i've dressed."

"thanks," you said as you went to leave, "wait... no snarky comment?" you puzzled.

he said nothing, just winked at you as you closed the door.

you joined changbin at the dinner table, sitting across from him. "how's the food?" you asked as you took a bite for yourself.

"y/n it's amazing! you're seriously a great cook. man, i wish i was this good." he said as he took a small bite of the spaghetti you had prepared.

at that moment, chan dawdled out the door and jisung closely behind. they joined you at the table and also began eating.

"don't worry about it binnie, i can teach you to cook, years of living on my own without chan seems to have payed off a bit." you joked.

"binnie?" jisung questioned the nickname you had given to changbin, whilst changbin sat there furiously blushing. he tried to hide it by lowering his head but that honestly seemed it give it away more.

"sounds cute." you shrugged, not thinking much of it.

chan cleared his throat, "okay so here's the plan for tomorrow," he began, taking another bite of spaghetti, "changbin and i have to go talk to JYP about an upcoming show we are doing, so we could be gone all day with that. there's lots to plan."

"wait a second, why am i not going? i'm apart of 3racha too." jisung stated.

changbin replied, "did you get the email from him?"

jisung shook his head, "well, no but-"

"then you're not coming." changbin grinned cheekily, knowing this upset jisung.

when everyone had finished with their meal, changbin stood up and collected all the dirty dishes, only to begin washing them in the sink. you quickly tried to stop him, "oh, changbin! don't worry i can do that." you said as you tried to take over, but he refused.

"no. you won't. dinner was great! you've done enough for today, if we are gonna be living here for the next few weeks then i might as well be of some use." he smiled at you before nodding to the tv, signalling for you to relax.

tired as ever, chan come over and kissed your head goodnight before going back to sleep. by now it was nearly 10pm, you had a late dinner but that was because they arrived later than expected.

you sat down on the sofa and began browsing movies. you decided to watch your favourite, even though you've seen it a million times. once he was finished with the dishes, changbin joined you on the sofa to watch the movie, you quickly filled him in on all the little details of the plot.

jisung was still sitting at the dinner table, scrolling through his phone, he was contemplating coming to join the two of you in watching the movie, but decided against it when he saw changbin put his arm around you. rolling his eyes and scoffing a little too loud, jisung stood up and went to the guest room he was sharing with chan. he tried his best not to slam the door but somehow that didn't happen.

"huh, wonder what's up with him?" changbin asked, looking at the door wide eyed. "i'll go check, sorry, i'll be back in a sec." he followed jisung into the guest room, you heard changbin quietly ask if he was okay.

what started as a whispered discussion soon became a hushed argument, you were worried that soon they would start yelling at each other. luckily chan was a deep sleeper, he also slept with earphones in, so you were pretty sure he wouldn't hear any of it.

the minutes passed and their quarreling continued, you debated going in there to try and make some peace but you decided against it, this seemed to be something personal between the two of them. instead, you switched off the tv and the lights, and went got ready for bed. as you were about to close your eyes you heard the jingle of keys and the sound of the door opening and closing. whoever it was, you knew they could take care of themselves, they were both adults and probably just needed some space.

when you woke up, it was around 7am. you quickly threw a hoodie on over your shirt, feeling a bit cold and walked into the living space to see changbin, sleeping softly on the sofa. it only just occurred to you that there wasn't enough beds for all of you in your current living situation.

you gently peeked into chan's room to see him sprawled out, sleeping a deep sleep. you smiled to yourself, knowing that he got all the sleep he deserved. the empty bed in the room didn't go unnoticed however.

it was jisung who left last night. and he didn't seem to be back yet.

slightly worried, you decided to cook up some bacon and eggs for when the boys woke up.

"morning y/n." you turned around to see changbin leaning against the kitchen counter.

you smiled, "morning! sorry if i woke you up, i'm just making some breakfast, you've probably got time to shower if you want to before you eat."

"serious? man, what did we do to deserve you?" changbin said looking at you sincerely.

you laughed lightly, "nothing, now go! and please wake chan up when you get out."

he just chuckled as he walked away and closed the guest room door behind him. you wondered if you should make enough breakfast for jisung, would he be back soon? if he wasn't, he could just re-heat it, you thought.

the last few pieces of bacon finished cooking so you begin buttering the toast, you made a lot knowing that chan has a big appetite and there was a good chance they wouldn't have time to eat today. your train of thought was interrupted once again by changbin.

"anything i can do to help?" he asked, he was dressed quite smartly, but you understood as he was going to console with JYP himself.

"nope! i'm just about done, plus, you wouldn't want to dirty your clothes," you said as you began serving breakfast.

"ah okay, i woke chan up, he wanted to have a shower so he shouldn't be too much longer." he said, "can i?" he asked, pointing to one of the cups of steaming hot coffee you set on the counter.

"of course!" you said. a question burned in the back of your mind and you wondered if you should ask or not. "uh, changbin..." you began.

changbin knew exactly what you were about to say, "he's okay, y/n. he just wanted some space." his eyes stared at the wall blankly. there was more to this than needing space.

"so.. why was he upset then? you guys had a pretty heated argument.."

changbin's eyes met yours, "i'm sorry you had to hear that." he took a sip of coffee, "we just had a bit of a disagreement, it happens all the time... you see, the thing is-"

"good morning to my favourite people!" chan said as he waltzed out of the guest room, also looking rather sharp.

you and changbin smiled at his enthusiasm, "morning!" the two of you chimed back.

"breakfast made? hot coffee? you seriously are the best sister in the world! it's like we're staying at a five star hotel." chan said picking up a mug of coffee.

you laughed, "i'm your only sister."

he shrugged, "still the best," he took a sip and hummed, looking around the room, "hey, where's jisung?"

"i don't know. i heard him leave last night." you said, placing two plates of food at the dinner table.

chan sent a red hot glare at changbin, knowing exactly why jisung would've stormed out. changbin looked away sheepishly.

"okay, well, breakfast is ready! eat up, you guys have a busy day." you said sitting down in front of a plate.

chan and changbin began discussing things for later with JYP, while you just sat their mindlessly eating your breakfast. you still couldn't help but wonder where jisung had went, and why he wasn't back yet.

you had completely zoned out and was just picking at the scraps of your plate when chan spoke, "well that was seriously great y/n! what a good way to start the day."

you smiled at your brother, "ah, it's the least i can do, maybe you could ask JYP if you can dedicate a song to me in return."

the three of you laughed and you began to clear up the plates while the boys finished getting ready. shortly after, they said their goodbyes and closed the front door behind them. although the door muffled his voice, you heard chan say to changbin, "you seriously fought over that again?"

you sighed to yourself, what were you going to do all day? you decided to finish cleaning up and have a shower.

you let the water run until it was warm before stepping in, you had to remember to be mindful because you often got carried away and distracted in the shower and lost track of time.

which is, exactly what happened, before you knew it you had been half an hour. shit, you thought. as you wrapped a towel around your body, you remembered jisung and how you saw a little too much of him after he showered. you blushed furiously just remembering it. that's when you realised that your feelings for changbin were just a deflection of the feelings you have for jisung. you're ridiculous, you thought. he hates you, despises you, enjoys making fun of you. you quickly ruled out the possibility of him ever returning the feeling and finished dressing.

you spent the day multitasking some of your studies while watching movie after movie, trying to be somewhat productive. your stomach suddenly growled and you checked the time, "must be time for lun-" you said aloud, "oh, it's 5pm." you laughed at your silly sense of time and how you had got carried away all day. but you soon frowned, 5pm and jisung still wasn't back?

since the boys weren't home you made yourself a light meal and sat at the dinner table alone, listening to some background music. it was actually quite relaxing. the evening golden sun shone through the window as you finished eating. you quickly began washing up your plate, when you heard the door creak open.

"oh, chan you're home! i just finished eating, but i can make something for you and changbin just give me a min-" but when you turned around to greet them, it wasn't chan or changbin. it was jisung. "jisung."

"are you gonna admit that you missed me this time? or do i have to leave for longer?" he smirked but you just sighed in relief. you hated to confess that you worried you wouldn't hear his stupid comments for a long while.

you spoke quietly, "of course i missed you. i was worried sick."

"oh? worried now?" he toyed.

"yes, worried! i heard you arguing with changbin and then you left!" you exclaimed.

his face turned away at the mention of changbin's name, "well sometimes changbin and i argue, it's normal."

you scoffed, "that's what he said."

"he told you?" jisung asked.

"no, he didn't tell me what you fought about, but it would seem that it isn't the first time because i heard chan scolding him after they left this morning." you admitted.

"they're not back?"

you shook your head, "nope," jisung looked away, "look, i just had dinner but is there anything you want?"

"yeah." he began.

"what would you like?" you asked.

"you." jisung said bluntly, catching you off guard. "and changbin wants you too."

it all made sense now. "oh, i, i see.." you said, quite taken aback. "jisung, it could ruin everything, we'd be playing with fire."

"i don't care, y/n." he said taking a few steps closer.

"but, chan is my brother." you said.

"he's my best friend." jisung countered, coming closer again.

"what about changbin?" you asked.

"he's also my best friend." at this point, jisung was standing face to face with you.

"hang on a second," you took a step back, hitting the counter, "i don't owe you anything." you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips.

he smirked, "but i owe you everything."

[kwrittink]

Wrong - AFTERSHOCK

Pairing: F!Reader x AdoptedBrother!Jungkook

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Warnings: Language, mentions of drinking

<EARTHQUAKE

Your head hurt. 

"You don't look good, do you need anything?" Hoseok's worried tone made you look up at him, meeting his gaze at the top of the divider. Smiling softly, you shook your head. 

"I'm fine... After a coffee, I'll be as good as new," you started with a sigh, then chuckling at the doubtful look your coworker gave you. "I promise I'll be at peak productivity once caffeine hits my system." You continued to try and reassure him, knowing he - as a supervisor of the team - would probably nag you to take the day off and come back once renewed, to not harm the general productivity"

"I don't know Y/N, after your party yesterday even I am not feeling whole," he snickered and you scoffed back at him. You wished he wouldn't bring the previous day yet, not ready to dwell with anything that happened yet. Your head continued to throb painfully. 

"That's because you're a lightweight Hobi," NamJoon, always a beacon of salvation, came around with a steamy cup of coffee and placed it in front of your relieved eyes, your gratitude represented by a squeeze on his hand and a small groan as you sipped at the beverage. "You drank three beers and was practically passing out on Y/N's couch, you can't say anything about anyone." He stated with a chuckle, to what Hoseok responded with a roll of his eyes, showing his tongue at your best friend playfully. 

"Yeah and besides, after the project's celebration in the afternoon, we didn't drink much more," your whole body jolted at the sound of TaeHyung's voice right beside you, as he rolled his chair beside you. 

"Well, I mean I didn't, Y/N, on the other hand, had her birthday shots like a champ," and you were glad he was acting so casually but respectfully enough to just bump your arm lightly after that remark. You turned to him, forcing a grin. 

"After closing off that deal on my birthday, I think I deserved that." You tried to sound playful, and maybe fooled most of the presents, since there was a general chuckle in agreement to what you said. Still, when you glanced at NamJoon, he had a piercing stare on your face underneath the grin, that made you shrink a little. Lunch would be probably spent on the roof that day. 

But in the meanwhile, as you let the coffee do its magic and everyone went back to their posts, you started to work on your side projects, the 'A.R.M.Y.' clothing line something in the back of your mind, just postponed for a bit. Your phone buzzed for the fifth time that morning but you weren't sure you wanted to read yet another sweet message coming from TaeHyung, that had his ways to be charming but clearly just wanted to seduce you out of your pants. And let's be honest, you were letting him. You had to admit Mou was right from the start about his crush on you and it was somewhat tempting to let things happen given all the silent promises his kiss made you. 

Yes, that happened. As you put your phone on silent, you decided to never again let the tequila make decisions. Even if it had been the best kiss you've had in a couple of years. No, no Y/N focus back on work. 

That simple task though, was proving to be very difficult to accomplish itself. Not only because you had to see TaeHyung and work with him for a couple of minutes that morning and kept reenacting the scene in your head every moment your eyes fell to his lips, but because the man that had resurfaced from hell apparently made his job to make your life difficult by sending friendly emails and a basket of a selection of treats from Jin's patisserie to the crew, which started some rumors about you and the young man. 

"What exactly is this mess and why haven't you told me anything?" That was the first questioning made by NamJoon as soon as he was freed to lunch - the couple minutes of lateness had made you hopeful he wouldn't show up and you'd be spared from exactly that - and sat on the floor in front of you, grasping the delicious looking croissant from your hands. You sighed, defeated. It was time for a recollection of events. 

"Look, first of all, I have no idea why people do what they do, so this is just me telling things from my perspective," you started, raising a finger when NamJoon tried to interrupt you with some indignant remark, you guessed. "Please refrain to question me till I finish my report." You warned, causing your friend to roll his eyes in annoyance, but gesturing in an urging manner. 

You cleared your throat. "Well, as we know I made the very stupid decision of scheduling a meeting with the new owner of 'A.R.M.Y.' Jeon JungKook - formerly Y/L/N JungKook - in the same day of my birthday. Still, with my grace and professionalism, the deal was closed successfully with minor changes, almost circumstantial-"

"You're bullshitting me, that's the part I know, Y/N. I want to hear about why in god's name he and his business partner arrived at the party, in casual clothes, and why you decided that of all days, it was a good moment to start sucking face with Kim TaeHyung!" 

Even though you had asked him to question you later, you let NamJoon call you up on the bullshit because god knows you were buying time. "I made a mistake. It was the tequila talking, I didn't even want to invite JungKook, I just casually mentioned to JiMin there would be a small party at mine's..." By that point, you were holding your head in exasperation. 

"But I'd never even imagined that they would actually show up! Mainly Jeon, after what happened at the bar,"

"Wait, what happened at the bar? Stop withholding information, I want to understand because drunk me didn't have the headspace to do so yesterday." He said, and it made you snort remembering how friendly NamJoon had been to JungKook - and that boy had such a blinding smile at the time that it almost felt like nothing had ever happened before. 

"If you let me organize the events in my head for a second I will tell the story in all its coherency," you quipped, glaring at your friend that had started munching at your share of goodies. Not that you mind at that point. "The afternoon was really a blur, to be honest. We finished our meeting by lunchtime, but after Park JiMin insisted that we celebrated both JungKook's first closed deal and my birthday - that was TaeHyung's fault entirely -, we headed straight to the bar where I, not in my best judgment, decided to do some shots with JiMin, the little devil,"

"But you also drank with him at your place, I just don't get-" 

"The little shit knows how to use the puppy eyes, I never stood a chance," you pinched the bridge of your nose in mild embarrassment after recalling how you had for the second time fell into JiMin's death trap and accepted doing even more shots of alcohol later on. "As I was saying, mistakes were made. I was just chatting amicably with that man and invited him to my celebration out of politeness and respectfulness. I should have noticed that something was off when he asked if the invite extended to Jeon as well, but my clouded mind..." You sighed. At that time you were clearly developing a crush for JiMin, that after shedding off his suit coat to 'be serious about this' as he had said, switched on a completely different kind of charm. NamJoon stared at you completely still, eager to hear the rest. "Anyways, I said yes with my mind at ease, sure JungKook wouldn't even think of showing up, but there he was at my door dressed like no less of a jock walking into a frat house, wasn't he?" 

"Even after the thing that happened at the bar that you still haven't told me about," your friend stressed, and you nodded, pained. "And we have like, half an hour for you to explain that and why you and TaeHyung were kissing in the kitchen."

You glared at him, breathing in to continue. "Right about when we were leaving - TaeHyung and I arrived together at my place as you probably recall, and we were kind of flirting there already but that's not so important - I went to the bathroom to check my state, a little wobbly from the drinks. I may have stumbled on the way out and JungKook just happened to be there, steading me by the arm. After I thanked him and was to leave, he grabbed my elbow again, saying that he had never forgotten me or my birthday... I brushed him off but he kept insisting, so I may or may not have told him to fuck off. I was sure that would keep him away but for some reason, Jeon not only showed up at my house but is now sending me messages, emails, and gifts for m-me and my te-team!" Your own sobbing took you by surprise, NamJoon springing into action and moving to sit by your side, pulling your body by the shoulder to his chest in a comforting manner. 

"Hey, I know it's a lot and overwhelming to see him after so long and so suddenly but... Maybe, you know, he wants to fix things?" NamJoon's hand came to pat your head endearingly as you tried to hold off the tears to avoid messing your makeup. Long ago you've told yourself to never cry about JungKook again. 

"But after all these years? Why should I let him walk up back into my life after he rejected me like that? After my parents died and he finally got his heritage-" 

"I know, he left when we all needed him the most and never cared to look back. But it's been years and maybe he's grown more to realize he was wrong, yes?" As he reasoned, you knew NamJoon had a point. JungKook was the last thing of a family you had left, but it still hurt too much to just let him step in without a single apology. "Sure that your issue with him is much complicated, so I bet he has no idea how to truly approach you to apologize." 

At that, you glanced up at him with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Well," NamJoon looked up before facing you again, a knowing smile on his lips that had your heart racing. "It's always been complicated with you two." 

--

After lunch - not that you had eaten much, being quite honest -, you decided to finally open the messages ignored earlier in your phone. Two different unknown numbers? You frowned at your screen, scrolling to see the rest of the notifications. And three messages from TaeHyung. Sigh. 

The first one was - and that surprised you - from Park JiMin's personal number as he stated, letting you know he had asked for your number to your boss and hoped you wouldn't be mad about it. Preposterous, you wanted to write back but decided for just greeting him back and letting him know you were at disposition for anything he needed. You've already overstepped the professional bounds enough the day before. 

You skipped the second message, which was clearly from JungKook, from the late hours of the night. At your party, he was the only one you practically didn't speak to and he could have been more uncomfortable but drunk NamJoon made sure to introduce him to your friends... But as whom? You suddenly questioned yourself, wondering what the doofus you called a best friend could have said your relation to JungKook was. 

The three-line texts from TaeHyung were the ones for that morning, till right about you arrived at the company. It was a good morning text, very sweet to say the least, then thanks for the good work and party invite... And a more risqué one, where he asked you out for a proper date and put himself to disposition if you wanted to do what he called 'a sober repeat' of what happened at your kitchen. You blinked at the screen after reading the contents, wanting to giggle but keeping yourself at ease since you were in a work environment. Still, you texted him back with a winky face, just for the sake of teasing. Clearly a mistake to date people from work - not that the company prohibited, but it wasn't recommended - but you wanted to indulge yourself with that for a while as a distraction. You could only trust TaeHyung was as chill as he had been with his other affairs. 

Putting your phone away, you left on read JungKook's message, not even bothering to save his number. You still had to answer his emails, being the team leader of that project, but it would be very clear that you were speaking to him out of obligation. Still, it wasn't as if you couldn't hear his voice as you read the message, his soft but deep tone asking you to please talk to him. 

--

"Hey Y/N, I wonder if you're free today?" The voice that woke you up Sunday morning was no less than Park JiMin's, and you had to stare at your mobile screen for a solid second to convince yourself you weren't hallucinating. "Oh, you sound sleepy, I'm so sorry if woke you..." You snickered, rolling out of bed with a small groan. It wasn't that early anyway so you really didn't mind. 

"It's okay, I overslept. I usually wake earlier than this, but yesterday..." 

"Oh yeah, you told me you'd be working late. Hope everything went well," you thanked his good wishes, feeling slightly bad lying to him. You truly had work on Saturday, which was already unusual. But you've only stayed till late that night because you decided to spend your frustrations - as NamJoon had put it so beautifully after your birthday - sucking Kim TaeHyung's face in the break room, since there wasn't anyone around on that floor. Completely impromptu of your part but highly enjoyable. "Still, I wanted to know if you perchance would mind going with me to Jin's Patisserie, they're holding this event today and I don't really have female friends I can go with so..." JiMin trailed off and you frowned, wondering what event he could be referring to.

Oh, the Fairy Tale's couple event- What's that bullshit he doesn't have anyone to go with? The thing with JiMin was that since your birthday you've been friendly texting back and forth, actually turning into casual friends as well as having a professional relationship. Again, something not recommended by the company - and your boss - but you just let it happen because Park JiMin was very pleasant to talk to. Even if you had problems with his business partner. 

"Is not that I mind, but I don't think I'm a good candidate for this if you want to participate. I've told you I'm actually friends with the owner so winning that will be a little difficult," you tried to reason with a chuckle, to which he also giggled at the other side of the line. 

"Yes, I'm aware of that. But you're also the only one that I can go casually and enjoy all the cute foods without having to pretend I was dragged by my date," he admitted, and you had to laugh, happy that he felt at ease with you. But wait, did he called that a date somehow? "So, what do you say? Wanna go eat some cute food with me?"

Nah, he's just talking in general. We're just friends, I guess. You thought, humming in fake pondering at the proposal. "Well, I guess I could indulge in some extra cute and sugary event for you," you teased, hearing his quiet cheering at the other side. It was funny that he liked cute stuff - tiny, animal-shaped stuff was his favorite -, but after getting to know him better you decided it really fit the cheerful and sympathetic man that now co-owned the stylish and popular 'A.R.M.Y.' clothing line and usually posed as classy and sexy to the outside world. "What time do you want to meet there?"

"I'll pick you up around 11:30, sounds good?" He stated and you were immediately aware that there wasn't space for discussion to that. So after confirming the time, you said your goodbye's, so you could get your day going and be ready on time. 

It was a little coincidental for you to be in such relationships with men in the surroundings of your life, but you were trying to not think too much of that. Sure, TaeHyung was fun and not complicated, and JiMin was surely someone who you preferred to keep at arm's length, even though playful flirtation and NamJoon's advice to not let things escalate with your most estimated client. Oh, that's right, I've got to text NamJoon about my whereabouts, you reminded yourself, quickly writing a text to your best friend with a short resume of this morning's call. 

NamJoon was someone that always had something to say and, most of the time could read you like an open book. It didn't mean that you followed his advice, sometimes you went against them out of pure spite. Kim TaeHyung happened again because of that. 

"You seem to be trying to compensate the frustration you've always had about JungKook with TaeHyung," He had said at lunchtime on that fateful Saturday. After you had - finally - told him about how you and the TI trainee happened, he had concluded that it wasn't a healthy move in the long term. "That could only end up in heartbreak for one of the parts and knowing you, it will be from his side, as much as an easygoing person he seems to be. And you won't be able to live with yourself for using him like that." You mocked him under your breath after that, a little hurt that he'd actually say you were using TaeHyung. Just the way he was having fun before, you were having fun with him, that was very clear. Wasn't it? 

--

"I think that you should make that clear to the boy, Y/N." Mou spoke at the other side of the line, while you got ready to go out with JiMin, already running a little late due to a guilt trip in the shower. "I mean, I told you he has a crush on you, and it's been months." 

"But he's been fooling around since he came to the company," you tried to reason while deciding on a top that would be cute, albeit discreet. You couldn't be giving mixed signals to JiMin too, right?

"Yes but, that's exactly what you two haven't been doing, right?" She countered, making you sigh deeply. You two had only kissed twice despite texting and hinting at further stuff, which was fine for you, it made you polish your flirting skills from time to time. "From what you've told me he really wants to go at it with you but isn't being extremely persuasive about it. He's been taking his time, waiting for you. Enjoying your company." Dating me, she means. You rolled your eyes, mostly at yourself, realizing quite well what NamJoon had been telling you. Maybe you were doing TaeHyung wrong, after all. Maybe you should talk to him about the whole thing. 

"What I don't get is why you wouldn't consider dating him for real, though."

Well, that was a complicated explanation to give to anybody else but you knew exactly why. Sure, it called - screamed - for therapy and you considered doing it once daily, but the sole reason why you didn't consider dating anyone for real was that after all these years, you weren't able to get over that man. Jeon JungKook, as he was now. 

It was still hurtful to remember how he had disappeared from your life, even more after that extreme action he had right before storming out of that room. You never stopped thinking about it. 

That kiss. His damned lips that seared a curse deep into your soul, giving you a small sample of reciprocated feelings after all those years living with them hidden deep into your being. You loathed him, but couldn't bring yourself to hate and, now he was back into your life. The effects of that were clear. 

"Well, that's-" And as if you had predicted it, a notification from JiMin telling he was five minutes from your house popped on the screen, cutting the conversation short. With a swift goodbye you promised to get back at Mou about the whole deal - hoping she'd forget by then - and hanged up, grabbing the first long casual dress you owned and a jacket, deeming it fine for a friendly hangout.

___________________________________________________

masterlist      

[mountstudies]

how to get that productivity momentum going

(background image from unsplash // text by me)

If you're

-feeling unproductive even though you dedicate your weekends/after school hours to studying

-not getting any work done and lying around in the house

-scrolling tumblr even though it's studying time

hey, high-five!

Productivity feels amazing. Trust me. That sense of satisfaction when you look back on your day's (completed) tasks, that full 5-page essay that you wrote, the stack of notes made and the pile of homework tackled is good enough to keep you going for the next task.

Here's some tips on getting that productivity momentum going, and how to maintain it.

-Do some exercise to get that blood flowing around your body and your brain.

-Work out the next day's game plan the night before (preferably) or if that's not possible, do it first thing in the morning when you're fresh and ambitious. It can be a to-do list, or have a blank table with the timings in half an hour slots, so you can pencil in the things you plan to do at that particular time. Leave some buffer time, and put in a break every 3 hours at least.

-Before you start work, tidy your desk/workspace so that there's ample space for your books, writing materials and your thoughts.

-Have a notepad nearby to jot down any thought that comes along while you're studying, so you don't deviate from your work and won't lose that thought or idea. If it's something you thought of that you need to do (i.e. do the laundry, reply xxx's email), get it done during your break.

-Start small, break down tasks. For me, I like to break down my study workload into very small chunks - listing them as very small tasks like by the question (of a worksheet), so when I finish I get to tick them off and it gives you gratification, rather than finishing a full worksheet to tick something off. If you feel overwhelmed, just convince yourself to do 10 mins of maths, or just 2 questions of biology. As you get along, you'll feel like continuing your productive streak.

If you know you're starting to get unproductive:

-take a timed break and work on those chores. The methodical nature of chores, like folding clothes, hanging the laundry, sweeping/mopping/vacuuming the floor, may jumpstart your productivity when you come back to your desk.

-take a shower. If that's not possible (you're out or something), just go to the sink and splash your face with water (if you can use a facewash, even better). Here's an article about it.

-change your environment. Maybe you're unproductive in the living room because you keep getting distracted by the TV your family is watching. In that case, find a quiet place in your house or consider going out to work.

have a list of productive things you can do when you feel unproductive, so you can refer to them and get some things done. Try to stay away from the screen. For mine, I have: tidying my clothes cupboard/desk/room, chores, filing worksheets, binding papers, a bunch of errands (for that day) I have to run,

-change the subject you're studying. Maybe it's a temporary brain-barrier with the subject that you just cannot get, in that case, switch to something else and come back to this later.

-take a quick (less than 30min) nap. Set the timer function on your phone so you don't end up sleeping half of the day away.

-Switch off your wifi on your phone. Sometimes I can't help reaching for the phone when I'm studying. The action of absent-mindedly unlocking the phone and swiping has become scarily distracting, so to prevent myself from constantly opening WhatsApp and Instagram, I switched off my Wifi (on my phone) so I won't receive any notifications (for WhatsApp) and won't be able to see my feed on Instagram. Honestly, the best approach to cut down phone distractions for me is to switch off my phone completely, because when I click the power button (not long enough to switch it on) and see that it's not responding, I am reminded of the reason I switched off my phone - to minimise distractions. And so I don't turn it on. (However this is a bit difficult because I would then be totally uncontactable - especially by my family, so I only switch my phone off when I'm studying late into the night, or early in the morning.)

-Know your productive peak periods and make full use of that time. For example, I am most productive in early mornings and evenings. Maybe it's the afternoon heat that makes me drowsy and slow. So when I schedule my breaks or naps (if I didn't get enough sleep the night before), I put them in the afternoons. Breaks are still important and I'm not saying I won't take any in the mornings or evenings, just that the bulk of any non-studying things I plan to do (like chores or errands) will be done during my non-peak periods. Also, if there are content that you plan to study that are more difficult to understand or grasp, you might want to tackle them in the mornings when your energy is optimum (or in the evenings if you're a night owl.  But I won't recommend sleeping after 12pm because it's not good for your body in the long run).

-For snacks (because they're great motivation and great company while studying), I would suggest healthy snacks like fruits, nuts, plain crackers, rather than chips, chocolate, candy, sugar-coated bread and cookies. I've tried it before: yesterday for snacks I had some chocolate drink (Milo), a mini kitkat and 4 biscuits packed with peanut butter. My productivity level was 50% that afternoon. Meanwhile, today I had a pack of seaweed and chia seed soaked in water. My appitite for snacks decreased, I became more focused and wasn't thinking of getting chocolate from the kitchen, and my productivity level was 90% (despite taking a 1.5h nap in the afternoon).

Quality over quantity. It's much better to have 2 hours of productive studying and enjoying a full 1 hour break, than spending 3 hours sitting at the table but distracted by various things around you like your phone, the cat/dog, your snacks...

All the best! If you have anything you'd like me to write about, do comment below!

[esprit-de-corps-magazine]

CSC SAILING INTO STORMY WATERS

(Volume 24-02)

By David Pugliese

The Canadian Surface Combatant (CSC) will be the backbone of the Royal Canadian Navy’s future fleet, yet the program — one of the largest defence procurements Canada has undertaken in modern times — is sailing into stormy waters.

The Liberal government announced October 27, 2016 that Irving Shipbuilding Inc. of Halifax had issued a request for proposals to companies on the design of the new warships. Firms are required to provide those bids, which must not only include the design but details of teaming arrangements with Canadian firms.

    But allowing only six months to compile bids for one of the largest procurements in Canadian history doesn’t make sense, say representatives of some of the companies. The extent of the technical data and other information the Canadian government requires is overwhelming, they add. Four companies requested that the bidding period be extended and on February 16 the Liberal government agreed. Instead of submitting bids on April 27, the proposals will now be due on June 22.

But there are other issues looming as well. Some firms are questioning whether it will be worthwhile to bid on the project, estimated to be valued at more than $26-billion.

On October 24, 2016 Italian shipbuilder Fincantieri sent Public Services and Procurement Minister Judy Foote a detailed outline of why the acquisition process was in trouble, warning that “Canada is exposed to unnecessary cost uncertainty.”

Preparing a bid for the Canadian Surface Combatant project will cost companies between $10-million and $20-million, industry representatives say. If they don’t see that there is a chance of winning the contract because of various issues, then firms might decide not to bid, further narrowing the choices for the Liberals on a new fleet for the Royal Canadian Navy.

In its letter to Foote, Fincantieri pointed out that the current structure of the procurement limits the role of the warship designers to simply providing engineering and design services to Irving, which will then build the vessels.

In return for that small role, the companies are being asked to provide valuable intellectual property to their designs, access to their established supply chains, and transfer technology to Irving and Canada.

In addition, the warship designers have to provide a warranty on the integration of technology into their designs, even though they are not responsible for buying that equipment.

The project as it is structured now leaves little incentive for warship designers and builders such as Fincantieri, which has designed and constructed ships for the navies of Italy, India, Iraq, Malaysia, Malta and the United Arab Emirates.

“If the current proposed procurement approach is retained, then it will be very difficult for Fincantieri to obtain approval to bid from its board,” the company warned Foote.

The company instead proposed to Foote that a fixed-price competition be held, with the wining shipyard building the first three warships, complete with Canadian systems, and deliver those to Irving. The ships would then be run through evaluations and after any technical issues were worked out, Irving would begin to build the remaining 12 vessels.

That way work on the new ships could get underway faster, the vessels will be fully tested, and the risk to the Canadian taxpayer significantly reduced. The “winning team can be held accountable for the overall performance of the finished ship,” Fincantieri added.

“Companies are also given incentive to make long-term investment in Canada because they can expect to get a fair return from the greater value of their work responsibility,” Foote was told.

The minister responded by suggesting Fincantieri approach Irving with their concerns.

But that response further worried the Italian shipbuilder as they had believed the Canadian government and its ministers were ultimately responsible for the program and the spending of billions of tax dollars.

Foote’s comments to journalists on February 7 will also not likely go down well with the Italian firm. She said she wasn’t concerned about Fincantieri’s warning that the current process was putting Canada at risk of unnecessary costs.

“That certainly is not our opinion on this,” Foote explained. “We’ve worked with industry. We did extensive consultations with industry to get to where we are. We will always consult with industry, and that is why we were successful in terms of the CSC. The fact that some people are questioning it is something we’ll look at, but in reality, of the 12 primes, eight have not expressed any issue with respect to the deadline.”

Irving spokesman Sean Lewis said the contract for CSC design would be awarded to an existing warship design that best fits the requirements of the Royal Canadian Navy. “I can assure you that the procurement process is being conducted in a way that ensures that all bidders are treated equally, with no unfair advantage given to any individual bidder, and under observation of an independent fairness monitor,” he added.

The other issue that has emerged on CSC are questions about whether there is a bias on the part of Canada for a specific design.

There is a strong belief in some industry circles that the federal government is favouring the design from the British firm BAE, which is offering the RCN the Type 26 warship.

Much of that belief is fuelled by the unusual change in the CSC procurement process in mid-2016.

In the summer of 2016 Foote said only proven warship designs would be considered, a strategy that she insisted would cut down on risk and speed up construction.

But just months later the Liberal government retreated on that and instead indicated it would accept a Type 26 bid, even though that type of vessel has not been built yet. Construction of the first Type 26 ship for Britain will start sometime this year.

“You want to make sure that what you get on offer reflects not only what’s tried and tested in the market but also what’s coming on the market,” Lisa Campbell, assistant deputy minister of acquisitions at Public Services and Procurement Canada, explained to journalists.

In an earlier statement, BAE official Anne Healey said the company looks forward to bidding in an open and fair competition.

Other industry representatives point to the close ties between Irving and BAE as a reason for concern on the CSC. The two firms had joined forces to bid on the long-term maintenance contract for the Royal Canadian Navy’s Arctic patrol ships and the Joint Support Ships. They lost that contract to Thales.

But rival companies are still worried about whether BAE has an inside track on CSC.

Irving’s spokesman Sean Lewis said there is no need for concern. “The CSC procurement is being conducted in a way that ensures that all bidders are treated equally, with no unfair advantage given to any individual bidder,” he noted in an email. “We will continue to actively monitor the effectiveness of measures taken to avoid any conflict of interest.”

Meanwhile, Irving has raised its own issues about CSC. Irving president Kevin McCoy said the firm is concerned about the gap between when it finishes work on the new Arctic Offshore Patrol Vessels (AOPS) and the start of the CSC building.

The work Irving is doing on AOPS will provide its employees with the experience and expertise required to construct the surface combatants starting in the early 2020s.

But McCoy told Esprit de Corps that he is worried that if there is a gap where there is a slowdown or lack of work then those skilled employees will leave for other jobs. That, in turn, could impact the CSC program.

McCoy had an even blunter warning in early February when he told the House of Commons defence committee that the gap or any delays on the surface combatant program could mean “significant layoffs” for employees.

“It is imperative that we work at a steady pace and minimize delays,” he warned.  “Starting in fall 2019, production work on AOPS starts to wind down. If we don’t put our skilled shipbuilders to work on CSC we face significant layoffs. If there is a production gap between the two shipbuilding programs, the cost to reconstitute this workforce and their experience will be borne by the CSC program.”

McCoy also warned that “the impact of inflation is very real on a shipbuilding program such as CSC. With shipbuilding inflation running three to five per cent annually, on a 15-ship program you lose the buying power equivalent of 45 to 75 per cent of one ship for every year of delay. Delays have a serious impact on a program such as CSC.”