#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.
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Clumsy love — katsuki bakugo.
In which…
katsuki is cooking in the kitchen, and you accidentally surprise him, he turned around to quick and hit you :( ..maybe it’s a good thing though.
Pairing; Katsuki Bakugo x Afab!reader
Content contains; fem!reader, angst/comfort (but mostly comfort), Prohero!katsuki, sweet kats, maybe a little ooc (sorry..), use of “babe, baby, doll, ‘kats’”, swearing, cheesy cheesy love stuff, mentions of blood, reader getting hit (on accident).
Word count; 1.4k
a/n; this feels rushed but I think it came out pretty cute — I also rewrote like ALL of this it went from 1.0k to 1.4k with my edits to the story..I’m scared to post this pls tell me y’all fw it 🙁 if smb already wrote this IM SORRY I don’t have an @ or anything, I cant remember if I took inspo from someone or was creative for once 😢
katsuki was stirring a pot over the stove, the boiling water and smell of the delicious stew he was cooking wafting through the air. Katsuki always loved to cook for you, no matter how tired he was. He’d cook a million times a day if it meant he got to see you light up at his thoughtfulness, not to mention he’s practically a 5 star chef.
He was pacing around the kitchen to grab various seasonings, vegtables, and other simple things. You wanted to show him some silly video off your phone, so you walked from your shared bedroom and approached him from behind, I suppose he didn’t hear you coming until you were right behind him, tapping him on the shoulder excitedly.
“kats, look-“ but your words got cut off with a mean ‘smack!’, the back of his hand making instant contact with your nose, your hands instantly reaching up to cup you’re now bruised nose as you squeak out an ‘ow ow ow!’
“holy shit!,” he exclaimed. “babe, I’m so sorry.” he drops everything, the spoon dropping into the pot, water splashing lightly with a ‘plosh’. He rushes over, grabbing your wrists lightly; a worried mixed with guilty look on his face.
“it’s- mmm fuck!” you grit out through bared teeth. “it’s fine, not ur fault kats—“ you hiss out, eyes squinting and ur brows furrowed from the sharp pain stinging in your nose. He was a pro-hero, and strong obviously, so when you startled him, he hit you with a lot of might. (all might reference.)
“no no—shit!- that’s not fine babe..lemme see cmon.” he stutters around, searching for the right words. you could tell by the glint in his eyes, and the way they softened, by his brows and the way they softly perked up and furrowed, by the tiny pout on his face, just how absolutely worried and awful he felt about himself right now. He slowly went to move your wrists from your face, careful to be gentle with you. You let him move your hands away from you’re poor injured nose slowly, tears stinging the corner of your eyes from the pure pain that spiked through you.
“aw fuck, y’r bleedin babe, cmon…” a unfamiliar gentle—? no…soft? yes but no—….worried? tone? yeah. worried. He knew you were okay, it wasn’t broken although it might feel as bad as one for a few minutes, nonetheless he hurt you.
his rough fingers wrapped around one of your wrists gently, guiding you to the bathroom, your other wrist still clutching your nose, trying to not let the gross metallic blood drip onto your nice clean floors. also to keep pressure on it, though it certainly wasn’t making it feel any better.
he sat you down gently on the lid of the toilet seat, both of your hands now cupping around your leaking nose, he settled on grabbing some toilet paper for a quick fix and wrapping it around his calloused hand. He rested on his knees to look up at you and get a better view to clean the blood. yet all you could think about was katsuki bakugo, was fucking kneeling on the ground for you. of course this didn’t even cross his mind in these conditions, all he could think about was the fact he did this, mistake or not, it was him. he tilted ur head back gently, his finger tips resting under your chin. He cleaned the blood spewing from your nose with softness and delicacy as if you were a porcelain doll. It was uncharacteristic of him to be so soft and gentle with you, of course he was a sweetheart to you, and he had his soft touchy moments, but it was still quite early in your relationship and katsuki was always a closed off person. Safe to say you knew he felt fucking awful.
“kats, ‘promise I’m okay, don’t feel bad, ‘ts not y’r fault.” You reassure him with a raspy tone considering ur head was tilted back, your vocal cords pressing closer to the front of your throat. you were still in pain and reassuring him. how could you be telling him it’s okay? reassuring him? he should be reassuring you.
“no no—fuck shhh, don’t say none of that shit..” he grumbles out, still focused on your nose, the bleeding was slowing down to a halt which made him grateful, he gently pulled the tissue away and threw it in the bin, he stood back up; his knees popping, (~~he’d kill you if you brought that up any other time~~.) hand gently caressing and looking at your nose, rough finger tips softly rubbing around and up and down your, now, less bloody nose.
when you look up at him with your big teary eyes and pouty lips, he can feel his heart shatter impossibly further. Once he deems your nose worthy enough to stop being catered to, he looks down at you with a big sad face and caresses the side of your head, cupping it with his big coarse palm, the weak look in his eyes just about broke your own heart into a million tiny pieces. you can’t help but melt into his touch, extending out a hand to carress his face aswell, cupping eachothers cheeks with the harsh cool lighting of the bathroom, the dried up blood still partially down your nose; the color of your skin turning a purpleish-blue around the area.
“kats…” you pout at his sad defeated look. “I’m okay, I promise. It wasn’t even your fault, I jus’ caught you off guard. don’t blame yourself baby..” you attempt to reassure him with a soft gentle tone. katsuki wasn’t used to this, someone being so soft around him, speaking to him in a sweet tone. He couldnt even begin to know what to do. The consistency of your thumb rubbing back and forth softly over his cheek, everything was to much.
“I know—I know but I hurt you baby. me, I did. I never wanted to do that, and I did. I can’t believe myself an-“ you could tell he was going to start a pointless ramble about himself, so u cut him off with a gentle shush, your delicate fingers draping over his lip in a playful manner, a soft smile tugging at your lips. You didn’t wanna hear him say such mean things about himself, especially when it truly isn’t anybody’s fault.
“shhh…katsuki.” he listened. as he always did to you. “don’t beat yourself up over this please..” to him your voice was like honey. sweet and smooth, just the right consistency. “things happen. I’m fine, the pains already getting better,” a small weight lifted off his shoulders as you reassured him the pain was already starting to fade.
“I love you.”
oh. you guys were dating but you’ve never went that far. he feels his heart pick up in speed, freezing, you were starting to worry you made him uncomfortable. why can’t he speak? why can he feel himself sweating? his hands are getting clammy, and he feels like the world is crashing around him.
“…I love you.”
he said it. you didn’t expect him to but he did. you didn’t make a big deal out of it, instead just smiling brightly up at him, your eyes crinkling as it always did, it was truly his favorite sight to see. He would never admit it, but he’s truly down bad for you.
“and I know you’ll still love me even if I’m all bloody and bruised.” you joke with him lightening the mood, he lets out a airy laugh pulling you into his chest gently, tilting your head so your cheek is smooshed against his chest as to be careful of your nose. maybe it’s a good thing katsuki hit you, maybe if he didn’t you wouldn’t of said I love you. maybe he wouldn’t of gotten vulnerable. The terms are silly of course, and it will be a funny story to tell down the line.
maybe katsuki does seriously love you.
“yeah. I will, doll.”
A/N guys I’m shaking before I post this
#bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugo katsuki#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x you#mha x reader#mha#mha x y/n#mha x you#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#mha bakugou#bakugo comfort#bakugo fic#.thenasoneshots
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Sorry to keep dragging you through Arcane hell (the new season is... oof) but I am curious what your thoughts on silco are? Realising more and more that silco and sevika are the only part of the show I gave a fuck about and my love of season one was really just those two.
i keep putting things under a readmore so if ppl dont want to see me go "damn this was good i wish it was better" they dont have to
i think silco on paper has potential to be one of my favorite characters on the show, and barring that at least one of the most layered and well crafted. his and vanders dynamic is by no means unique, its very professor x and magneto, which is already something i can take or leave. "oh we were childhood friends and allies fighting for a better future but one of us got soft while the other became hardned and radicalized" the narrative of the terrorist freedom fighter, one corrupted by power is done a Lot bc of a general apprehension in shows like this to endorse violence on the behalf of the oppressed class BUT i think his relationship with jinx was a good addition and if like one or two changes were made it could have been some of the best the show has to offer
for the sake of this post, im going to ignore the reveal that silco knew jinxs mother before her death i think that was dumb and bad. essentially, the show begins with silco and vander at odds- they both are doing what they believe needs to be done in order to secure zauns future, and both of them are ultimatrly hurting zauns people; silco is flooding the streets with shimmer and vander is working with enforcers. silco is primarily motivated by power, but vander is motivated by his love for his kids, this is the only way he has even the slightest assurance that he can keep them from run ins with the law, a law that has a precedent for tossing children in maximum sexurity prisons.
vanders death and silcos subsequent acqusition of jinx flips the coin. there is now something in his life to love, to protect, to care for. he is falling into the same behavior that vander was, even if he is far worse at it bc hes a terrible father whos also a drug lord and just kind of lets his unstable daughter sit in a. ave and build bombs all day. hes not *good* but he *cares* evidenced by him literally needing to be sedated when jinx gets surgery so he didnt flip the fuck out
in a straightforward narrative, this is a story about a man having to choose between his daughter and his passion project. zaun is something he has given his life for, hed do anything to have it succeed... except one thing. that one thing. "there is nothing so undoing as a daughter" is probably one of my favorite lines in the show. i really do wish we had gotten More of them, especially at the beginning when she was a baby and silco doesnt really know what to do with her, which brings me to my next bit-
i think sevika is an indespensible part of the triangle of silco and jinx triangle. i find her position interesting as she is not only second in command, but second to jinx, a literal child. she can be the best right hand man a guy could ask for, she is so dedicated to his cause she betrayed vander, she has given her life and limb for this shit. but she will never be jinx. and i think the conversation of like, how far will silco go before he is forced to choose is kind of awesome. the ultimatum jayce gives him is good it is the breaking point of him trying to do both. he is directly responsible for the "monster" piltover is hunting, he didnt try to keep her in line, he let her do whatever she wanted and he is now directly reaping the consequences. frankly, i think sevika should have been present for that choice in some capacity, eavesdropping or something, so certain that hell make the right choice, its just a girl. and she sees him falter. him not choosing is a choice, he cannot actually make the sacrifices required to get shit done. hed orphan a thousand children to build his utopia, but he cant let go of his girl
anyway all of that was really cool and interesting so you imagine my frustration when his choice is taken from him via jinx flipping out, kidnapping him then shooting him. it was so. anticlimatic. it *feels* like its supposed to be a tragedy, oh she assumes the worst when he was actually going to choose her, but those conclusions feel too. private. like he dies with basically no one knowing he was this close to selling zaun up a river for his girl. i dont think he should have died i think he should have been disgraced for daring to have it all. anyway i think instead of jinx overhearing him talk outloud and coming to the wrong conclusion sevika should have deliberately led her there 1. to piss her off on purpose and 2. prove a point to silco that jinx is unstable and a liability, but not assume shed go far enough to kill him, bc they both still care about him.
overall any of my issues with how his story goes is just a combination of my distaste for that particular archetype, where he is so incredibly comically evil i cannot take a single one of his points seriously even though they Are correct (killmonger. its just killmonger again) and the show just once again not having time for anything with him that is not The Plot. the fondness he has for jinx is apparent i just wish it could COOK longer i wanted MORE, i wanted to see him foster that love of inventing in her, even though it is clearly just because the weapons she makes are helpful to his cause, i want to see her genuinely give input on his ideas, i want to see them talk about vander. his human elements are like too sparse for me to latch on to its like the Idea of them, i go oh i see what you guys are Trying to do. there is too little of him i see him cooing over his daughter then going back to his crack cocaine mines staffed by orphan children and i ask does the show jave anything to say about this cognative dissonance? no? i find it really telling that one chem baron was pissed at the enforcers for her son dying, and yes they were Definitely a factor but WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR SON WORKING IN THE CRACK COCAINE MINES MAAM. YOU WERE KIND OF ASKING FOR IT. theres no like, conversation about what the corrupting influences of power does to the next generation even when the best of intentions are had. jinx constantly taking shimmer in season 2 for power ups, a direct product of her fathers worst tendancies, and it having NO ill effects on her, shes not reduced to the animalistic state of the drug addicts we are CONSTANTLY seeing on the streets bc. why. is she built different. the metaphor is RIGHT THERE her father/shimmer enable her but they are also killing her from the inside mein GOTT.
also the first time i watched this show i kept confusing him with viktor lol
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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what is the theory that ivan manipulated the event where till and mizi met the wagyein?
It's not a theory, actually! It's confirmed that Ivan orchestrated the whole event. The true reason as to why however is still unknown. The information provides more context to this scene, though:
During the earlier times of ALNST the most rational explanation for this scene was that Till ran after a flower crown (presumably Mizi's) and Ivan followed him in out of curiosity. Now we know that Ivan was conveniently just standing there because he was waiting.
Side note, I find it heartbreaking (and maybe a little funny, sorry) that Till most likely didn't notice Ivan in this scene. That's just like him, isn't it. Always too busy running after Mizi while Ivan trails behind, an ever-present shadow.
I'm not sure how Ivan manipulated the circumstances for both of them to end up there, but it is confirmed that everything was intentional. What strikes me most is how they describe this particular scene:
I can't copy down what they said word-for-word (Patreon info), but they described Ivan watching "creepily" as Till and Mizi are faced with danger. We know that Ivan was familiar with the Cerberus wagyein beforehand, enough to touch its teeth and even to rest himself inside its maw. To Ivan, the wagyein is not dangerous, but to Till and Mizi, it could be. Ivan prepared the wagyein, led them there, and watched "creepily" from afar as Till fell on his knees, seemingly injured.
The closest I can get to making sense of Ivan's "scheme" is that he wanted to see how other children would react in a dangerous situation. Ivan's always been an observer, after all, and he's learned to survive by copying the more "normal" behaviors of his peers. This situation occured when Ivan was still young and had not yet developed his more charming mask, so perhaps he staged this encounter to study a situational response, to learn and mimic the emotion of fear. And what better subjects for the experiment than two of the most expressive and reactive humans of their batch? It helps that he was already fixated on Till beforehand, too. I think Ivan became irreversibly obssessed after this incident, especially since it's framed as a turning point in Ivan's life, comparing Till to the stars.
This is just my attempt at an interpretation, though. It could very well be for another reason. He most likely chose Till and Mizi specifically for personal reasons, not just for reaction. I'm still not sure on the purpose behind the whole thing.
The team wanted to capture Ivan's "dark emotions" through the shot of his stalking, which could relate to his more sinister intentions. His gaze can be read in a few different ways, though. Curiosity, interest, fear, etc. Maybe that's why they decided to redraw the shot in ROUND 6.
I think this better sells the feeling they were trying to convey.
#ivan u fucked up little guy.#also okay i just wanna clear this up#i know i make a lot of posts about ivans darker side and his more problematic traits#but this isn't me trying to villainize him or reduce him down to “toxic yaoi”#I HOPE YOU GUYS KNOW ALL MY TOXIC YAOI POSTS ARE LIGHTHEARTED.#i just want to clarify that ivan was always intended to be a darker and complicated character. even since his debut in round 3#the way i refer to ivan (“twisted” “creepy” “obssessive” etc) are literally the direct words used by q and v themselves to describe him#but despite that id like to emphasize that i don't see ivan as a villain or a completely bad person. hes complicated#there is no normalcy in this world they are living in. none of the characters know what being truly normal is#this isn't me condoning his actions#but it has to be acknowledged that alnst is fucked up in nature. we can't expect perfect relationships from people who are born to die#plus ivan has a lot more layers past the “dark” parts. he's constantly battling himself and his desires#especially at the end of round 6 where he performs a myriad of conflicting actions (kiss strangle peck smile)#thanks to the r6 production notes we now know that ivan was going through a rapid internal conflict#“sure and unsure at the same time”#there is sooo much to ivan. his low self-esteem. his desire and possessiveness despite knowing till will never love him#his VEHEMENT insistence that till will never love him vs his desperate persistence in trying anyway#uh i need to shut up i think#anyways sorry. just wanted to clarify my thoughts on him in case people think im. yk.#in short. hes a fucked up little freak and he fascinates me. this poor tragic child. i love him.#SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY#alnst#alien stage#alien stage ivan#alnst ivan#asks
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I can't believe people give advice that's basically "be less stressed". How can I explain to you that I've been scared of walking down the stairs since I learned to walk and I get an intrusive thought every time I cross a road. And then I have a lot more, actually real and important stuff to be anxious about!!
#like 90% of my intrusive thoughts are about me being harmed instead of the other way around#which i guess can be better than the alternative cause i question my morality less and stuff#like i went through the harmful yo others intrusive thoughts most of my childhood and it's kind of switched at some point#but now i am. unimaginably stressed by. everything#like sometimes i feel like im actually going crazy because how many times can you#live out your own death or have thoughts of great harm being donw to you. its just an insane feeling#whatever i was just thinking about a talk i had with one doctor#who asked me if i have a lot of stress in my life and when i said yes#she said “well you should become less stressed”#thanks girlie#ok sorry for using this post to vent about my intrusive thoughts but they suck ass and i can#never talk to anyone about them#god if i ever said more than a sentence about them I would feel so crazy
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please ignore this if you disagree. this is just me thinking out loud but i keep coming back to this impulse shauna had to EAT the ear and of course there's been all this talk about how she wants to consume jackie. how it's wanting to destroy her how it's wanting to be as close to her as possible. but i'm interested in the physicality of it. like there is the metaphor of cannibalism and then there is the REALITY of it
i read about mortuary cannibalism in the past and i believe it wasn't even the close loved ones eating the dead usually because often it would be too hard for them and even those who weren't as close and were the ones to consume the dead would sometimes throw up while eating. like let's put aside for a moment everything this means narratively and metaphorically. there is the physical act of putting a real uncooked half frozen eat into your mouth and the fact that that's the ear of a person you LOVED. the ear you may have whispered secrets to during class and one you felt against your cheek when the two of you hugged. and shauna does that after gently caressing the ear in her pocket for an entire day
i think there's an interesting component to how she's interacting with dead-jackie. some part of her brain acknowledges that jackie is dead while a much larger part of her refuses to. and i think at least on some unconscious level she's aware of the way the cold preserves jackie's body. after the initial shock of finding jackie when we see her sit in the same room with her now she's keeping her distance. there's this feeling people usually get from seeing their dead loved ones especially if it's been a little while since they died - a feeling of alienation. the muscles are no longer animated, the skin no longer warm. a feeling of this person being foreign to you in some way suddenly. and so a part of me wonders if on some level she wanted to stop the ear from rotting now that it's not frozen, warmed by shauna's hand and safe in her pocket. i don't think it would be a conscious thought but it's just. walking around with that ear in your pocket. not wanting to part with any part of jackie. wanting to consume her yes but also wanting to preserve her in a very physical way in a sense
#i literally just wrote this didn't proofread its its feverish obsessive thoughts SORRY#anyways idk im just rotating this in my head and trying to Understand#yellowjackets#cause lets be real i dont think any of us ate our dead best friends#and having seen dead loved ones in the past its like. look its very complex weird feelings#in a way they dont feel like the person but they also do and i cannot stop thinking of whatever was going through shaunas traumatized brain#yellowjackets spoilers#i feel like this needs trigger tagging but at the same time what are you doing watching cannibalism the show if you cant handle this post#so im leaving it as is#shaunajackie#yellowjackets blogging
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THANKS @kimdokjafan you are so kind and generous. ok im cashing in the first of three blank checks to talk about faith trust and pixie dust (most recent chatfic) because the last two directors commentaries were too serious so let's do a silly one.
some p5r spoilers, and this is mostly about sumire, and it's long again. do i need to keep disclaiming that these are long? you should know me by now.
i had this written for a while before i started formatting it because i wasn't really sure if i should post it? i feel like silly chatfic is something people go to for predominantly lighthearted nonsense so i was like, maybe there's too much plot and dramatic misunderstanding and i should just keep this one for myself. but then i was like well nothing matters and maybe someone will have fun with it. it's kind of terrible how much fully or mostly completed fic there is my docs that just doesn't see the light of day lol. write for yourself etc but i like sharing! too bad it comes with the mortifying ordeal etc. anyway that was a tangent
potato counter is a neopets game. there's no deep lore i just like neopets. i guess in this universe ryuji doesn't play neopets? or maybe he's just never played potato counter specifically. i also have a different fic where ryuji DOES play neopets. it's about neopets and ryuji and goro talking on neopets.
i think this might literally be the first time ive written sumi in a fic because i haven't actually written that much fic for royal, like, now that im looking, literally almost none? and none that had a group dynamic. so it was kind of fun to find her voice for the first time in a silly groupchat like this. i was worried people would find her exclamation marks annoying but i personally thought it was endearing so i added it in there.
every time i do a gag where a character corrects their own typo i have to code more stupid little bubbles to make it happen but i think it's worth it. all the effort that goes into making tgis look as much like a real chat as possible
this obviously doesnt take place in the canon p5/r universe, but im imagining sort of a postcanon sumi personality where she's more comfortable being herself and isn't borrowing kasumi's brand of confidence, but she's visibly a really anxious person without that kasumi veneer. i also think in this universe sumire is a fairly recent addition to the friend group, and while everyone likes her a lot and she really likes them, i kind of wanted to emphasise that feeling of being in a friend group where everyone's established and you're sort of a plus-one? you don't really fit yet. part of that is her being new, part of it is her anxiety, part of it is just the kind of person sumi is where she's so polite and self-conscious she ends up taking herself out of things with her own good intentions. stuff like her interrupting the flow of an existing conversation by greeting everyone instead of jumping straight in because she doesn't feel comfortable inserting herself, which means everyone else stops to greet her even though that doesn't normally happen in a friend group, or making a point of thanking everyone for being invited to events while the others take it as a given.
idk i love that she feels a bit out of place with the phantom thieves in p5r. and part of that is a natural consequence of being a new addition in royal who can't be naturally integrated with an existing dynamic but i honestly feel like the writing team realised that and acknowledged it, and really leaned into it, and that made it work incredibly well for me. like, it's part of her character that she's sort of an outsider. it's not like p4g's incredibly clumsy integration of marie and subsequent attempt to shove her down everyone's throat as the canon love interest in p4ga (knife). sumi has that outsider vibe on purpose and it makes me really like her dynamic with the thieves as an individual
goro also feels slightly out of place in these chats, but his conversational style blends more naturally with the other thieves at this point and he even uses their codenames sometimes. i keep saying my chatfic series isn't a real Series because the lore keeps changing, but if we accept that they're all kind of following a General Continuity, assume this takes place some time after the last fic in which ren added goro to the groupchat and they made an effort to integrate him into their friend group. he's kind of there now and has settled into being the weird boyfriend. that's his role.
every time goro says something like "ren and i" assume it's the text equivalent of him talking to the group with his arm around ren's waist.
ok i got really fond of this silly running joke where sumi brings up the weather when she's feeling uncomfortable. she's so polite. i like this thread because setting it up meant i got to tie it off like this:
this just made me happy lol i liked writing this. i tried to use it to demonstrate that despite goro's abrasiveness he obviously knows sumire pretty well, he's attuned to her quirks and knows how to tell when she's having a bad time with her anxiety, so he uses her little weather habit to ground her.
i honestly dont think goro and sumire could be considered close in p5r and as much as i like the "royal trio" in canon they're not really... like... friends? with each other? they're both attached to ren, so it' more a V shape than anything else. but that said, i really LIKE goro and sumi's canon dynamic. he takes a really grouchy but politely attentive supervisory role to her during their few forays into the palace as a trio where he doesn't really know her well but clearly identifies her as a harmless little tryhard who needs some guidance and steps into that role grudgingly, and she immediately looks up to him despite being very wrong footed by his ruthlessness, which i find incredibly charming. i think given time they could be good friends, they just didn't get much chance to know each other very well in canon. so i tried to kinda do that here.
once goro stops being evil and joins the group they all kind of tiredly accept that his role is to occasionally push a cup off a bench while smirking and refuse to clean it up. emotionally, i mean.
wait i need to backtrack chronologically to talk about akeshu.
in this scene they're in the same room lol talking and snickering while typing. im trying to get at that vibe of the annoying couple who is flirting with each other, via you. you know? like ostensibly they're talking to you (sumire) but everything they say to you is part of their stupid game. sumi is incidental to goro and ren teasing each other about flirting with someone else, goro is reporting everything ren says because his boyfriend is so eye-rollingly foolish in a cute way. they're very tickled by how amusing and charming they are. gross. disgusting. sumire im so sorry for putting you through this
anyway here are too many of my favourite jokes from the fic
#futaba gets a lot of my favourite punchlines because i love her. i think she's an incredible vessel for comedic timing#once again you can see how much i overthink everything#given the amount of thought that goes into character shit for what LOOKS like a stupid 3 second chatfic#but is really. a stupid 3 second chatfic with twenty years of overthinking behind it#it takes time and effort. to be this stupid#anyway i love sumi. i think she's so cute. i like her dynamic with the thieves so much#ive said it before but i think chatfic is one of those mediums that looks so deceptively simple because#you know it's just silly dialogue and memes. it's very accessible. anyone can write a funny chatfic#but i think it's such a character-forward 'genre' that it's really really difficult to do well in the sense that it feels like the characte#s you know and not just mouthpieces for memes with familiar names attached. so im kinda obsessed with the genre#it relies so heavily on every character having a distinctive voice without trying too hard to be unique#ideally you should be able to read one of these with no names attached ands till get a general sense of who's talking#without having to rely on liek (sorry) homestuck style quirks which make it visibly obvious#that' skinda hard because irl people's typing styles aren't THAT distinct you know. theres only so many variations#you can make to a person's use of grammar punctuation capitalisation etc before it becomes a gimmick instead of an idiosyncrasy#but hopefully if the character voice is strong enough their identtiy should come through more subtly anyway. idk .idk if im there but i lov#to work towards it#wow i wrote anothr essay in the tags about my love for Modern Epistolary Fiction (chatfic)#after already writing a whole essay in the post#i mgonna shut up guys thanks for having me#rookfic#asks#p5#rookthots
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@eebie DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the dance is from this video ♪(^∇^*)
#HI EEBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL#i made this beccause i was listening to that penis song i sent you and i thought it sounded like a song gobou would use#also i wanted a dancing eeber gif ^___^#keep in mind i ummm. have only animated once before and that was years ago and very very very short#and also it was totally sketchy and stuff. as in it was just a sketch there was no lineart or colors or anything#and also csp apparently dosent let you export transparent animations!?!?!?!? and also it doesnt let you use more than 25 frames!?!?!?!?#its stupid. so i just made a gif on EZGIF.COM instead<333#which is why the edges look kinda. um. wack. sorry about that but maybe itll go away when this posts? i dunno but i doubt it#btw i think i have eeber poisoning or something. because i draw her all the time everywhere........#ive drawn her so many times in some stupid little sketchbook we have in our kitchen when i wait for stuff in tha microwave#her design is just sooooo. Yeah!!!!!!!!#anyway this took Ummm significantly longer than id hoped and my back hurts sooooobad#so im going to bed!!!!!!!! but anyways here u go babygirkl <333333#my art#oh and btw i only listened to the penis (eek!) song while drawing this and nothing else#just. the same penis song for hours on end#and i said i was gonna take abreak when i was done with the lines before i started coloring but 😀👍 i forfot#OH WAIY ONE LAST YBING. i got cery noticably lazy like halfway through so dontt look too close at the frames or youu might get scared 😨
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Alright just before i pass out cuz i just finished A court of frost and starlight foe like the third time and i just feel like Tamlin deserves more but thats not what i want to talk about right now but the part where Rhys botches about the wings and says i never heard an apology because hear me out, Tamlin might never apologize because
1. He is loyal af. He probably thinks he made big mistake, no forgiveness, he betrayed his friend, he broke faith and his loyalty is a joke
2. He thinks and im gonna kill die on that hill, that he should have been able to protect them or to save them or just done more . And because he failed, he deserves no forgiveness
He doesn't ask for forgiveness or apologizes because he is convinced he was and still is at fault and he deserves the hate and the suffering for what wasnt even probably his fault (because let's be honest it's pretty obvious his father and brothers were horrible and it was entirely completely on them)
#pro tamlin#never would have thought i use this tag but here we are i guess#late night ramblings#acotar#acofas#sjm#Tamlin#someone flippin help that man#he clearly needs to work through some stuff#wayyyyyyy before the feyre incident#im not simping (too hard) but he was done dirty#baby boy baby get it together#also im too lazy to go back to the post but Lucien ma guyyy#u need to tell himmmmm it's okay he is not gonna whoop your ass but#he needs a reality check from a FRIEND#anywaysssssssssssss......#sorry for typos of there is any#im running on like - looks at a hand drawn sharpie watch on my wrist - about two winks of sleep i think
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man growing up without any privacy is a fucking trip what do you mean i'm scared my mom found my imagine dragons CD it's imagine dragons for fuck's sake why would i get in trouble for that
#i want to buy a bunch more cds too#but if my mom looks too closely at my music i think i'll die#since she has a history of being weird about it#okay sorry i discovered my chemical romance when i was twelve#it was a decade ago#am i allowed to listen to sad songs now#or songs where they say “fuck”#any time i want to buy something i evaluate in my head if it's okay for me to have first#the way i triple thought before buying mayday parade merch when i went to their concert#because of fear#and it's more than just music#i chat on discord so she never finds my messages#exclusively use it on incognito so i can close out at a moment's notice#because she went through my text messages#i don't keep a diary because she'd read it behind my back#i hide my sketchbooks because despite being a medical student i worry she will be weird if i know too much anatomy#she was weird abt me not drawing a shirt on a bust drawing#that didnt even include shoulders#like jeez#anyway#sorry for venting in the tags lmao#sometimes i forget that people actually read my posts#and im not just existing here lmao#erm close your eyes im fine#i really want more cds tho#sour#collide with the sky#scoring the end of the world#folklore#ugh just so many
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anyone else finding it really, really personally nauseating that the pjo show would remove gabes entire character and replace him with someone less abusive to make sally a Strong Female Character. like wow, im sure glad that youve proven that women who are abused are the REAL threat to feminism, and they should just try talking back more!! what a good message to send to abused kids. sorry, kid. i guess you just didnt argue hard enough and #Own your abuser into seeing how cool and strong you are. what do you mean that arguing with an abuser will only make them hurt you more? but look how snappy and cool and feminist sally is now!!! youre clearly just being abused wrong.
#pjo#gabe ugliano#any other kids who related to percy feeling a bit uhhhhhhhh like shit rn#saw a post saying how sally being 'less simpering and helpless' is a good thing#like fuck you. jesus fucking christ.#can you think about what youre saying for 2 fucking seconds.#lemme just go tell my mom that she needs to stand up for herself more brb#oh wait i tried that as a kid and guess what it got us. more abuse!#changing sallys story for the purpose of making her a 'stronger' character is disgusting in ways that i cant put into words#women dont have to be abused Well to be worthy of sympathy#and getting angry didnt fucking help me get out of being abused#this was the only story where my sister and i felt seen and were DEFINITELY not the only people who related to it#taking that away from kids who went through our situation is awful#and the fact that anyone would consider it necessary to... idk. fix how the book portrayed abuse? it hurts more than i thought it wo#fluffle talks#negative#personal#sorry im not tagging this post very well#i dont really have the energy to find the right tags rn
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Bit late now but I think separating classic who and new who would have been a good idea and a bit fairer.
well yeah, but also that would have been kinda less interesting, i've loved watching certain classic companions narrowly gain victories from what i thought would have been obvious nuwho sweeps (thinking especially about the ian/clara match) and also seeing which classic characters have ended up being winning and iconic (hi ian). tbh if there was one thing i'd change going back to the start, it would be not putting four characters from any category through, because that's what made it possible for there to (technically only potentially but probably certainly) be an rtd-only semifinal and final, although that's also in part a problem of assuming equality across nuwho eras and classic who eras as two broad categories, and then splitting every group across the four corners of the bracket rather than, say, putting two rtd characters into two of the semifinal feeders. idk, there's lots of ways it could have been done differently, but the "unfair" results are also part of the interesting bits for me
#especially seeing which results are sweeps and which results are really tight#like every rose round except this semifinal has been so close#to the point where she'd always be losing as i go to bed then in the lead when i wake up#interestingly enough ace is the only one not giving her a real run for her money#that may be to do with the bracket spreading further through that space of the fandom as it gets more followers#maybe it's because more people know ace and can therefore make a decision on it ???#fuck knows tbh#because she's been SWEEPING up until now where it's a confident loss#i will post more analysis stuff after the final i think. there's gonna be a few categories of 'winner' to split things up a bit#i was gonna say that doing a 'classic companions poll' would be unoriginal cos i've seen 2 of those#but there was a broader companions one that was also run#hence the blog description#the thing is tho. nobody ever thought this was in any way a scientific method of assessing popularity or 'quality'#(i'll spare you the rant on the nonexistence of objective quality)#so why not let us see where the bias swings? i've enjoyed watching it at least#seeing different peoples arguments#etc#idk sorry im rambling on a very simple ask. but u get my point. the point being that i have a critical mass of autism.#ask
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ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!
so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️
#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol)#i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol#but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3#even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !!#i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept#but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how#'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't 🧍🏻♀️BUT#there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production#and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience#idk it's just a comforting thought#like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today#and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around.#bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub#cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻♀#UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳#peanut butter and jelly donut#caitiechat
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solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —
#honestly this mostly only happens because of my disability which. i've been dreaming/reading about navigating that in ways feel better#or else because im scared of violence as a trans woman but i’m sick of fear of violence making me passive#rarely because i got scared in the crosshairs of financial insecurity and feared losing work#but that is what im parsing this time and very determined not to let that happen ever again#cuz like. having the supposed 'non-action' of passivity even available to you is a privilege of whiteness#in this case it was taking a creative-side gig on a play that felt very clear the playwright had given very little if any consideration#to nonwhite perspectives like clearly by a white person thinking about a white audience kinda liberal politics#and i took it bc my friend's mentor was directing and she put us in touch and spoke highly of him#and she's indigenous and very willing to call out white bullshit so i had some hope/trust that he would push it more#and he........ did at least cast a latino actor in the one role that would have made the play horrifically racist#if it had been cast as a white person but that felt like doing the absolute least to me#im still very much figuring this world out#understanding the ethics of theater work and im glad i did this in that regard#cuz like. i didn't fully realize that my only real chance to make a creative + ethical statement was right out the gate in accepting the gi#as an SM like... there's really no other chance to have an opinion so i should not take work if the script doesn't align w my ethics#and use that rejection as a chance to make it clear what's fucked up#...if i even ever SM again that was the most stressful gig i've ever done and i didn't even get paid for it. fuck#sorry for writing half the post in the tags. if ur reading this ur too close >O< jk haaiiii thx for reading my diary#very much a 'i am thinking through these concepts still and ur welcome to share ur thoughts on them' kinda post
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"Hacchan this, Hacchan that. One would think that you're talking about a cute girl but it's just Halsin from BG3."
#I am tormented by the haters#Leave me be!!!!#I was just looking thru Hacchan pins on online shops 😭😭😭#thinking of adding a toploader+photocard to my ita bag#idk im just getting ita bag thoughts. theyre fun to make 😭😭😭#i want to work on a new project ig#currently have two lined up#sewing a tunic then sewing+embroidering new socks for my beloved stuffed companion#Mr. Longface's socks are decimated. his stuffing's falling out through the gigantic holes plural#he has more holes to sock ratio#idk what to embroider yet. im not even sure i have enough floss for a pair#also not sure on what fabric to use. i was gonna make it from the one i was gonna use for my tunic but!!!#i specifically ordered rough weave cotton!!!#for the rustic feel#idk if hed like rough feeling socks even though im gonna embroider over them#i was also thinking of replacing his stuffing since ive got like. a lot of extra stuffing lying around but the thought of cutting him open#is so barbaric to me. i cant do it to him......#oh mr. longface i love u forever...... Cuddle Buddy (his original title)#hes so rough looking now. he looks like those fucked up decades old stuffed animals#hes almost a decade old.......... fly high#sorry this was supposed to be a halsin post lmao
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i just scrolled through my blog and i realised i have only two modes: weird pseudo-philosophical rambling. and absolutely unhinged yelling. AND I TELL YOUUUU IT'S SO FUNNYYYYYYY because i spent so long trying to curate my voice and sound like a normal, fun, easy to approach person back when i first made this blog!
then again it's been 3.5 years so i guess my voice changed naturally 🤨 i'm not smart enough for this 😮💨
#nia.musings#sorry even using this tag makes me snort. wdym musing girlie. are u a philosopher. big brain? 🤩🤩 2024 me is bullying 2020 me#also not me saying “im not smart enough for this” for anything that requires me to use more than 2 braincells#couldn't be bothered trying to make sense for more a second#kickstarting my own brainless era and i wear my crown so well#also random but i'm soooooo ready to infest this blog with jjk. i probably won't do that because that piece of art traumatises me#by that i mean i like it and keep up with it far too much for someone who claims theyre traumatised#my emotional scale is SHOT because of it. more pain than preferable. but i do quite enjoy it#and considering i go through sooooo much jjk content on tumblr it's only fair that i showcase it all on my blog :3#i have about 700 draft reblogs on a sideblog i made to save posts when i wasnt active here. i made it this year but theres SO much now#also lowkey regret not being active (though i had no energy) here in 2021 2022 2023 because i had so many thoughts about bnha#and now it's nearly over#like what do you meannnn i didnt get to yap about my spinner era from 2021.#what do you mean my love to hate and back to love arc for dabi didnt get documented in the annals of tumblr dot com#AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MELTDOWN LAST YEAR RE: HAWKS' QUIRK DIDNT GET PUBLICISED#this is all a joke because i for real (FR FR) had ZERO chance of being here because life was putting me through its TRIALS#still is. but that's the way life is. we go on. <3.#speaking of trials. no one here was privy (wait i think i mentioned it in an rb) to my jason grace breakdown when i found out What Happened#sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i wasnt made for emotional pain.#also it's funny to me how none of my followers have unfollowed me so far.#are u guys also all inactive or do u just not see me anymore because tumblr's dash algorithm gives u random posts now#thats the only thing i dislike about tumblr now. i LOVE how it lets you edit tags now. also will always miss the old layout
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