#i hate being difficult
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im trying to decide how long i need to wait for my shitty coworker to do the one (1) thing i asked him to before i go absolutely sicko mode
#this is obviously an exaggeration i am physiologically incapable of going sicko mode#however i am annoyed that he has thus far never followed through on anything ive asked of him#and takes like 2 hour lunches and comes in late and leaves early#which doesnt impact me 99% of the time so i try not to give a shit#but this is one of those things where if he doesnt do it ill have to do it#so the sooner i know he isnt going to do it the better#because id rather not stay late to get it done#im really conflicted because it sounds like he may not be leaving when his grant ends?#my boss floated that he might end up getting rehired on my project#and like i really dont want to be a huge bitch because like. maybe he doesnt know that its bad to call out twice a week#and never show up on time#and shirk all of his responsibilities#so i dont want to like. be responsible for him being unemployed.#but i also really dont want to work with or manage him!#i hate being difficult
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i’ve been wanting to do this since day one
#team fortress 2#tf2#era.png#idk if i’ll.. tag the characters? its just a silly little meme#i’ll think on it#anyway i guess i’ll ramble a bit in the tags then#mains: i’ve always played sniper but recently picked up engie! i love avoiding conflict forever#fav character: hmm this aussie that i hate (affectionate)#relate to: i relate to the both of them at the exact same time. autistic AND adhd#learn to play: i’m a dedicated healer class player but medic is soo difficult for me for some reason? one day. one day#fav ship: hmmm these bozos that i hate (AFFECTIONATE)#like to draw: spy is just fun to draw :) ignore sniper this isnt about him#NO ID SORRY :( this feels very difficult to write an id for. i am very sory#REQUESTS R STILL BEING WORKED ON BTW i’ll get to posting those soon. thank you. i will stop talking now
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He’s running away from los wiwis
#scaramouche#pierro#dottore#dottores????#implied dottoscara#yes#that#mhm#doodles#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#absolutely crying#i need to draw more stuff with scara look at him#he pretty#i hate drawing pierro though#man got no business being so hot but difficult to fucking draw
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adaine has never been anything other than angry at her parents. every interaction she has with them, she is snarky and talks back and fights with them. she isn’t cowed, she refuses to back down, and she would never in any world consider being obedient.
which is why it’s interesting that aelwyn is so afraid of them. what stopped her from standing up for adaine during their childhood? fear! a cycle of fear, shame, and guilt that she was never brave enough to break through.
but of course it makes perfect sense. adaine was never anything more to her parents than a massive disappointment. she was never going to be what they wanted - by the time they realized she was maybe someone worth cultivating (the elven oracle - to them a useful political tool they could possess) adaine was years beyond wanting to please her parents.
aelwyn was raised to be the perfect elven poster child. she was molded into being a pawn in a much larger game between arianwen, kalina, and kalvaxus. she was nothing less than a perfectly obedient daughter - until sylvaire. until “adaine’s just- she’s just a baby”. and the second she showed the slightest hesitance, angwyn didn’t hesitate to try to kill her.
adaine didn’t know her parents enough to fear them, but she knew them too well to love them. aelwyn knew them enough to be afraid and too well not to love them. head in hands.
#.txt#i just think. it’s not difficult for adaine to know that her parents suck. they’ve never done anything to show adaine they were worthy#of her love#but for aelwyn? who was praised and molded and trusted with their secrets#who always knew more than adaine#was better than adaine. at magic at being an abernant.#of course it’s harder for her to just be angry without also being guilty. guilty for hating them guilty for loving them#they were always more her parents than adaine’s. and i think that was worse#abernant sisters you will always be famous#fhjy#fhsy#fantasy high#aelwyn abernant#adaine abernant#angwyn abernant#arianwen abernant#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year
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MGSV sketch dump. The brainrot is thriving
#mgs#metal gear solid#mgsv#mgs5#mgsvtpp#I’ve let the brainrot simmer for a couple of days and dare I say I think I love this game#I mean there are things I hated but overall an absolute banger#I’ll definitely be replaying it#one thing I think the game would’ve benefitted from is taking more time for the ending#it was too abrupt#the additional higher difficulty missions could’ve been a mode#and those episodes could’ve been used to pace the ending#I also hesitate to recommend the game cuz it really benefits from the context of previous games#and that’s a lot of game#mgs5 also covers some very heavy topics#that hit very close to reality#I might have gotten more squeamish with time but some of those things were very difficult to process#one thing I think mgs does very well is it never settles for one side or one person being the absolute hero#in this plot they may be a relatively good person#but in the next they’re the villain#but it’s never static#and it u can’t get cozy with tropes#it’s not even grey morality it’s just human nature
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Yesterday, when I was sleeping during a study hall at school, some kids I kind of knew (who KNEW I have a disability) took my cane and started swinging it around, using it like a bat, and playing with it. People assumed I'd given it to them, because when asked to stop, they said no and continued. By the time someone woke me up and told me, they had broken the wrist strap and were pulling apart the pole to stretch the folding elastic. They did not say sorry. They did not take responsibility. They simply gave it back after saying "look, did you know it could do this?" and stretching the elastic again. My friends reprimanded them, but now the wrist strap connection is broken and keeps falling off my wrist, putting me in danger.
The day before this happened, they had asked to hold the cane, and I said no.
Stop feeling entitled to touch people's medical aids. Stop acting like they're not really necessary or important. Stop fucking breaking our shit.
#disability#disabled#physically disabled#chronic illness#cripple punk#angry cripple#hsd#hypermobile joints#hypermobile spectrum disorder#being a disabled minor is so horrendously difficult#i hate high school#ableism#cane user#cane#mobility aid#mobility cane#harrassment#young and disabled
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what about yellow teeth? my teeth always stayed yellow and that + my poor mental health made brushing just so nightmarish
#Yellow teeth can be genetic#Also! This is what i meant by i hate the hollywood smile#Hollywood smile being perfect white teeth#Teeth arent MEANT to look like that. Its uncanny (to me)#Yellow teeth are normal <3#But but but it's important to do your best brushing!#Its not about whitening your teeth#its about the fact that fluoride helps enamel health and prevents cavities!#It may be difficult but its less difficult than avery expensive life with pain as a result! Remember! Its never too late!#Enamel cavities can even self-repair with enough time care and love!#Try disposable Toothbrushes you can keep by your bed#or toothpaste tablets!
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Who had the worst time aboard the TARDIS?
TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST
#genuinely vote peri#i've not seen all of her stories but my god from what i've seen the 80s writers hated her#there are some stories where she'd probably be better off dead#she seems to be in a constant living torturous hell with 6 being constantly nasty too her#this poor woman#okay specific example#her first trip after her introduction (recounted from memory so some details my be wrong)#she and the doctor unknowingly touch a poisonous plant which will kill them slowly and painfully (but fast enough she almost dies by the en#so great they need to find a cure#which is horrendously difficult to find in the best of circumstances#but these aren't the best of circumstances#they get taken hostage pretty quickly and very nearly get executed by firing squad#they get rescued by one of the most unnerving villains i think in the entire show#he creeps on peri constantly#like he gets as close to assaulting her as its possible to depict on tea time telly#and peri can't do anything about it#her life is entirely in this guys hands#like most of the time i find caves of androzani the be so hyperviolent as to be funny#but jesus christ the shit they put peri through in it#anyway by the end she's so ill the doctor has to drag her near lifeless body back to the tardis#gives her the cure and then promptly regenerates#and now peri's nice friendly doctor is uhh tv 6#bad times: quarters
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i've seen a fair bit of... pessimism about dorym lately, esp with the ep107, for example wondering if dorian's opposing views on the gods making orym fall out of love, and i have to say. i very highly doubt it, ur fr talking about the man who has held on to will for so long, holding onto will's family and affectionately calling this *his* family too because that didn't stop when will died. i dont think falling out of love is an option or even a thought to orym.
that said, we know that orym has contingencies for if anyone in bells hells crosses the line into being a version of themselves they would despise, for anyone who jeopardizes their mission. his mission. i think, for the first time since knowing dorian, orym finally has a contingency for him. the longer dorian is back, the more orym sees how scarred he is by what's happened (understandable so) and knows that dorian is with bells hells all the way. but if he isn't...
#lynx speaks#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#dorym#dorian x orym#i'll be so fr i hardly interact with the cr fandom at large bc soooooo many people are deeply pessimistic#i want to have fun!!!!! i AM having fun#and then i come here and see the most bad faith takes in all of the world ever and its disheartening!#where's ur fucken JOY where's ur fucken WHIMSY#bells hells is one of the wackiest groups with crazy dynamics between them all and its enjoyable!#ur Allowed to enjoy the things u watch i prommy#and to that point! people keep complaining that bells hells r indecisive and there r too many opposing views muddying things etc etc#1. ofc there r a lot of views. the real world is like that too. opposing views is one of the best story elements to enrich ur made up world#2. whenever there is a Big Decisive moment many instantly go 'noooooo not like that!!! that's not what *i*wanted' (ex: the shard.)#the cast receiving backlash from fans every time they r decisive and do something objectively fucken cool and interesting#means that any time they Think about doing a Big Thing... it gets a little harder bc what if the fans hate it. again. should i even do this#separating fandom from cast is a bit more difficult for this form of media and the inherent close proximity or creators to audience#so. just. maybe some of us could chill and cool off just a little. and maybe examine why This Thing is so terrible to u. and remember.#it may be terrible to *u* but thats where it stops. the specific bad feelings u have r not always indicative of media being Bad.#sometimes it's just not ur cup of tea and i PROMMY that its okay if its not
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really dangerous for me to learn the value of quitting right before starting grad school
#i hate doing difficult things take me out coach!!!!!#i think if it were expensive i'd be more stubborn about sticking it out#but they gave me a really good funding offer so it's very close to free for the first year which is how they get you#they gave me the hellofresh first month free of grad school experiences :( and now my brain is like hey girlypop why NOT quit 🤷#but i'm being brave and sticking it out#personal nonsense
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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It is once again “why didn’t they let ryuji have any empathy for yusuke” era. Nothing like a game establishing that both of them have abusive/neglectful/awful dads and then instead of ryuji trying to connect with yusuke and show him that madarame is abusing him, he just gets angry at him?? For what????? Why???? There was so much potential
#ryuji sakamoto#yusuke kitagawa#I just think!! it’s a waste!! of potential!!!!#yeah here are these two characters with difficult home lives. one has a mother he loves and can turn to. one is entirely on his own#and for some reason ryuji seems to hate yusuke for defending madarame?#I understand it could work with his character or with his experiences that he gets defensive about yusuke not listening#maybe it’s uncomfortable for him to see someone who is doing what he did before he realised his dad was a bad person#but ultimately. this is an aspect of their relationship that really should have been there#and I can’t believe atlus fumbled this opportunity.#I’ll never stop being mad about it#persona 5#p5#p5r#persona 5 royal
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summer olympics 2028 in a universe with no exy we have:
star gymnast neil josten
heavyweight champion andrew minyard
tennis pro kevin day
rugby goddess allison reynolds
d pole laxer matt boyd
marathon swimmer renee walker
volleyball libero aaron minyard
hockey forward dan wilds
synchronized diver nicky hemmick
#yes the easy route is to make neil do track but also he never talked about track in canon? he always chose exy#running is his coping mechanism not his passion i will stand by this until i die#like when neil runs there is no thought in his head or race-plan or anything he goes on runs when he needs to stop thinking and run away#andrew is a heavyweight boxer becuase i keep seeing art and it's a lovely idea#kevin needs a strategy heavy sport ok#allison does rugby because its something just as violent as exy and something her parents would hate just as much#i was going to have matt do boxing but yk what that guy deserves a team sport - also with a d pole he gets to do crazy checks#he is a fighter but he is also matt#renee just has the swimmer vibe to me like swimming is so quietly difficult and i would like buff renee pls#aaron i feel is secrelty good at being a team player when that team is not the foxes - also hes short and plays defense.#i cannot see dan wilds playing an individual sport. that woman was made to lead teams to victory#nicky met erik bc they are synch partners!#all of these sports would be radically different if they were in the winter olympics btw#aftg#all for the game#neil josten#andrew minyard#kevin day
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one thing i love about sz/sz is the clear distinction of themes and the way both of them view each other and just mixing it all. I can enjoy my fair share of possessive zoro when it comes to zs but it's more about thinking about how his devotion towards the rest of the crew (pre relationship) fuels his feelings towards sanji and the need to make sure he knows how important he is for him, how he would follow him anywhere sanji wants. Zoro would do anything as long as it made sanji happy imo (it can totally turn a little bit weird, we are talking about ZOSAN of all people. Zoro would definitely say some insane shit like cutting his chest open and giving sanji his own heart in case he is hungry or something like that)
And don't get me started with sanji's need to make sure zoro feels loved all the time, not just with food, but through quality time (no matter how little it is, his free time would definitely be reserved for zoro) he would think his actions are his way of saying "i understand how lonely you must have felt" after kuina and his years as a pirate hunter which later on turns into a "i want to give you a piece of what zeff and the rest of the baratie staff gave me". Sanji would be SO sweet with zoro once in a established relationship, and zoro would feel a kind of love he never knew existed, and that realization alone is enough for him to bow to never let anything bad happen to sanji, not because he thinks sanji is weak but simply because its what he deserves. Seeing sanji happy makes zoro happier
#one piece#op zosan#op#zosan#sanzo#idk where this came from#but like... so many stuff w possessive zoro and weak? sanji. im fine with it as i said but i hate when people think thats all there is wthe#also a friend sent me a message a while back saying 'i just want to see zoro being LOVED and i know sanji can do that' and my goddd#that message alone was enough to fuel this view of them#im a definitely sz/zs enjoyer. More is always better#but its difficult to find good zs sometimes. Kudos to anyone writing/depicting zs with a very devoted and goofy zoro#text
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Hi, hello, just came here to say that I love your fic "trending in Japan". I was wondering if you had headcanons regarding Kenji or Emi or interpersonal relationships and stuff. Many hugs for you.
hi hello, thank you for the encouragement and hugs! After some thought ive realized I do in fact have some hcs about some of the character dynamics in the movie as well as just kenji himself, cause hes captivated my entire brain:
Kenji & Emi
Emi does not have teeth but she does inexplicably have a teething phase. kenji is forced to hide all his (salvaged) fancy cars in the garage bc the corvette's already been chewed to hell and his heart is gonna give out if he has to watch any more classics get wrecked
he reads her bedtime stories. A lot of aesop's fables, because theyre short and fun and hes trying to raise his monster daughter with good morals. emi goes hogwild for these but its unclear if she actually understands what hes saying; kenji's pretty sure she just likes the silly voices he uses for different characters
they go flying together! they go first thing in the morning before breakfast - it helps kenji shake off the grogginess of sleep and emi gets to stretch her wings. shes not able to go very far for very long initially, but as she grows and gets those cardio gainz she almost gets to be quicker than him. they have races and play air tag :)
while she doesnt have the vocal range to speak english herself, it becomes clear that emi does understand it well. (kenji also develops an ear for her chirping/squawks, though body language & facial expressions play a big part in communication for both of them) during her (much later) rebellious phase she'll simply pretend not to know what's being said when kenji is telling her to do something she doesn't wanna do, which frustrates him to no end
Kenji
developed a pretty massive chip on his shoulder after moving to the states. it wasn't just bitterness over his dad staying behind, though that was a part of it. this is canon but he was picked on in school for "how [he talked], how [he looked] and what [he ate]." he felt like he had something to prove to both his father and the world. he threw himself into sports - specifically baseball - and his academics, and he did so well that it forced everyone to shut up about how he was different from them and focus on how he was better than them
^ playing off this: kenji had a bonkers fucking yonkers routine when he was a kid/in highschool. he'd get up hours before school started to practice his swing, go for a ~1hr run, workout, study, etc. He'd go to school, come home, and do it all again. this is exaggerated but my point is that this kid was DETERMINED and had the discipline to see that determination through to the end
didnt have many friends because of all aforementioned things. he had acquaintances, and he was invited to parties and outings and stuff (never went), but he spent most of his free time hanging out with his mom. he never really had a "parents are so embarrassing" phase. he always liked to do anything with his mother: going to the bank, going grocery shopping, watching cheesy telenovelas till ungodly hours in the morning, etc. she was his no.1 supporter, confidant, and best friend
he played for his university's baseball team and got scouted at 19. his mom forced him to finish his bachelor's first so once he graduated with his degree in kinesiology at 21, he was drafted to the dodgers
Kenji & Ami
both of them, up until meeting each other, were totally dedicated to their career (and child) so they had basically 0 time for friends. theyre both borderline losers but theyre juuust good enough at what they do for people to admire them instead of finding them sad and lowkey pathetic
kenji is way more into the idea of being friends than ami is. hes pretty enthusiastic about it; he thinks that they have a kind of rapport, since they share a similar work ethic and are both (unbeknownst to ami) single parents. he calls her to chat abt random things. ami initially isnt superrrr into it; she thinks kenji is kinda lonely and desperate for human connection, & it isnt until her mom points out that she has not spoken to anyone outside of work-related reasons in 10+ years that shes like oh shit, i am also lonely and desperate for human connection. so she grudgingly acquires a friend. theyre both really bad at it
need to clarify that in my mind their dynamic is 95% kenji yapping about work and drama in his personal life (circumventing the 8m baby kaiju hes raising) while ami goes "mhm mhm" and takes notes until kenji notices and is like What are you doing. at which point ami is like...... right . nothing. im listening. and forces herself to put the notepad away. she has a hard time disengaging from the reporter mindset and just hearing something intriguing without turning it into an article. the other 5% are the rare moments where theyre connecting super well - ami's psychoanalyzing the hell out of whatever kenji just said and hes like what are you my therapist. over time she starts opening up to him, too, and eventually theyre comfortable enough to be having philosophical discussions over breakfast just for funsies
before kenji reveals that hes ultraman, ami thinks hes in a gang. he keeps showing up to their lunch "dates" with like bruised eyes and fractured bones and gets all shifty when she tries to ask about what happened. when she eventually confronts him about it, hes so offended that she thinks hed be involved in something like that that he tells her about being ultraman
thats about all i can think of rn, though im sure ill think of more after rotating all the characters in my head for a while. thanks again for stopping in, i appreciate the support :)
#sorry this took so ridiculously long for me to get to#i didnt have too many hcs before i sat down to think about it and i didnt wanna just talk about kenji#honestly. if im being honest. lemme be honest. i find it hard to write for and/or about emi#shes cute asf i loved her in the movie but since she is a literal baby child its difficult for me to get a grasp on her#i can only really think ahead to when she grows up and starts developing a bit more of a personality#anyway. hope this is suffices#ultraman rising#ami wakita#kenji sato#emi sato#mine#asks#anon#trending in japan#entry 2 in the TIJ tag lets goooooooo#just to be clear btw. ami & kenji is a platonic thing to me#not that i hate the idea of them together i just dont feel like they have that sort of chemistry#and anyway (i talked abt this in the notes on TIJ ch.3 but) i lowkey hc kenji as aroace so it doesnt gel w my personal interpretation of hi#but take it as romantic if u want i really dc. theyre silly together in any way
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common problem i have w/ a lot of fanon is that people tend to heavily overestimate how attentive dean is to sam's issues/needs. dean is often fucking clueless abt what sam is going thru lol. outside of the immediate strain it places on their relationship and their ability to do their Job.
#he doesnt ask too many questions. for a reason. he is not equipped to handle the answers#like dean doesnt know jack shit abt sam's possession trauma which is 1 of the reasons he did what he did w/ gadreel#hes aware that 'sam would rather die' but what does that actually mean. how does it tangibly affect sam. in th short term and the long term#like no dean wouldnt actually be angry w/ meg or lucifer or gadreel for violating sam's agency#dean violates sam's agency himself like it's his life's purpose#he's primarily angry w/ them for Fucking With his marriage lmao. or for giving dean personally a hard time#same reason he hated soulless. not (primarily) bc it meant sam's soul was being flayed alive in the cage still#but bc soulless made his life difficult and confusing.#im being a bit uncharitable towards dean w/ this one But come on. ''putting sam's soul back in could damage him forever''#and dean's reaction is i DON'T care i DON'T care i have to try to get My Sam back#and it is perceived/portrayed as a selfless act. girl please. he had a version of sam practically begging him not to Put That Thing In Him#and he said Fuck you and your desires we're doing what *I* want with your body.#you Could compare this to s10 demon!dean cure however i won't be doing that rn <3 read my fic#spn
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