#i hate being difficult
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im trying to decide how long i need to wait for my shitty coworker to do the one (1) thing i asked him to before i go absolutely sicko mode
#this is obviously an exaggeration i am physiologically incapable of going sicko mode#however i am annoyed that he has thus far never followed through on anything ive asked of him#and takes like 2 hour lunches and comes in late and leaves early#which doesnt impact me 99% of the time so i try not to give a shit#but this is one of those things where if he doesnt do it ill have to do it#so the sooner i know he isnt going to do it the better#because id rather not stay late to get it done#im really conflicted because it sounds like he may not be leaving when his grant ends?#my boss floated that he might end up getting rehired on my project#and like i really dont want to be a huge bitch because like. maybe he doesnt know that its bad to call out twice a week#and never show up on time#and shirk all of his responsibilities#so i dont want to like. be responsible for him being unemployed.#but i also really dont want to work with or manage him!#i hate being difficult
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i’ve been wanting to do this since day one
#team fortress 2#tf2#era.png#idk if i’ll.. tag the characters? its just a silly little meme#i’ll think on it#anyway i guess i’ll ramble a bit in the tags then#mains: i’ve always played sniper but recently picked up engie! i love avoiding conflict forever#fav character: hmm this aussie that i hate (affectionate)#relate to: i relate to the both of them at the exact same time. autistic AND adhd#learn to play: i’m a dedicated healer class player but medic is soo difficult for me for some reason? one day. one day#fav ship: hmmm these bozos that i hate (AFFECTIONATE)#like to draw: spy is just fun to draw :) ignore sniper this isnt about him#NO ID SORRY :( this feels very difficult to write an id for. i am very sory#REQUESTS R STILL BEING WORKED ON BTW i’ll get to posting those soon. thank you. i will stop talking now
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He’s running away from los wiwis
#scaramouche#pierro#dottore#dottores????#implied dottoscara#yes#that#mhm#doodles#genshin impact#genshin impact fanart#absolutely crying#i need to draw more stuff with scara look at him#he pretty#i hate drawing pierro though#man got no business being so hot but difficult to fucking draw
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jenson button 🥺 (with love, @brawngp2009)
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Jenson button 😁 + bonus nico
#weirdly difficult so I resorted to being more stylized 😪#nico rosberg#jenson button#princess cake#f1 fanart#my art#im going to hate this when i wake up lol
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Why does my motivation kick in when winter break is ending :’)
Anyways, look at this two guys that aren’t doomed by the narrative at all
#art#my art#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#gravity falls fiddleford#Stanford pines#ford pines#stanford filbrick pines#journal 3#digital art#digital illustration#that one scene where Fiddleford tells Ford to not turn on the the doomsday device in the basement#I have difficult relationship with Ford#cause I hate what he did to Stan and how he treats him#but#he’s so endearing sometimes#and who can blam him for isolating himself in the woods and being manipulated by a triangle that’s nice to him#I know I would fall for that#he’s just a silly guy#a silly guy who I hate#but not entirely#he can be better#almost losing his brother can change him!#he’s stupid anyway so
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can i tell you that i'm empty?
#severance#severance spoilers#mark s#helena eagan#markhelena#ahahhahahhghj this show. oh my god. oh my god!!!#mark and helly had already gotten me so bad but this last ep broke my brain. they are doing m/f previously thought impossible on this show#I DIDNT LIKE WHO I WAS ON THE OUTSIDE. I WAS ASHAMED!!!!!!!#was talking about this on my twitter but helena eagan has extremely strong failchild energy to me. this is just speculation#but i got the impression from s1 that her being severed was both a last chance to like. prove her worth to her family and get in line-#and comparable to women that were lobotomized by their rich families in the 20th century. girl you are too strong willed-#and difficult to control so we are going to do this.#as if all of that wasnt backfiring enough now our girl is blowing the whole family operation because she just HAAAD to jump the bones-#of the first person to give [LITERALLY NOT EVEN HER] positive attention.#incredible. i need helly back like i need oxygen but they could NEVER make me hate you helena eagan.#i hope she keeps being her insane self and also more and more comical things keep happening to her. they should drop a piano on her next#anyway these tags are long enough as it is but crazy how well the lyrics to the song i linked match her... just for the record....#im thinking abt that album all the time bc its one of my favorites but the orange/black scenes from this ep sent me into overdrive#they have different colors of blood. they have power like you never could :-))#art tag
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adaine has never been anything other than angry at her parents. every interaction she has with them, she is snarky and talks back and fights with them. she isn’t cowed, she refuses to back down, and she would never in any world consider being obedient.
which is why it’s interesting that aelwyn is so afraid of them. what stopped her from standing up for adaine during their childhood? fear! a cycle of fear, shame, and guilt that she was never brave enough to break through.
but of course it makes perfect sense. adaine was never anything more to her parents than a massive disappointment. she was never going to be what they wanted - by the time they realized she was maybe someone worth cultivating (the elven oracle - to them a useful political tool they could possess) adaine was years beyond wanting to please her parents.
aelwyn was raised to be the perfect elven poster child. she was molded into being a pawn in a much larger game between arianwen, kalina, and kalvaxus. she was nothing less than a perfectly obedient daughter - until sylvaire. until “adaine’s just- she’s just a baby”. and the second she showed the slightest hesitance, angwyn didn’t hesitate to try to kill her.
adaine didn’t know her parents enough to fear them, but she knew them too well to love them. aelwyn knew them enough to be afraid and too well not to love them. head in hands.
#.txt#i just think. it’s not difficult for adaine to know that her parents suck. they’ve never done anything to show adaine they were worthy#of her love#but for aelwyn? who was praised and molded and trusted with their secrets#who always knew more than adaine#was better than adaine. at magic at being an abernant.#of course it’s harder for her to just be angry without also being guilty. guilty for hating them guilty for loving them#they were always more her parents than adaine’s. and i think that was worse#abernant sisters you will always be famous#fhjy#fhsy#fantasy high#aelwyn abernant#adaine abernant#angwyn abernant#arianwen abernant#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year
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MGSV sketch dump. The brainrot is thriving
#mgs#metal gear solid#mgsv#mgs5#mgsvtpp#I’ve let the brainrot simmer for a couple of days and dare I say I think I love this game#I mean there are things I hated but overall an absolute banger#I’ll definitely be replaying it#one thing I think the game would’ve benefitted from is taking more time for the ending#it was too abrupt#the additional higher difficulty missions could’ve been a mode#and those episodes could’ve been used to pace the ending#I also hesitate to recommend the game cuz it really benefits from the context of previous games#and that’s a lot of game#mgs5 also covers some very heavy topics#that hit very close to reality#I might have gotten more squeamish with time but some of those things were very difficult to process#one thing I think mgs does very well is it never settles for one side or one person being the absolute hero#in this plot they may be a relatively good person#but in the next they’re the villain#but it’s never static#and it u can’t get cozy with tropes#it’s not even grey morality it’s just human nature
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Yesterday, when I was sleeping during a study hall at school, some kids I kind of knew (who KNEW I have a disability) took my cane and started swinging it around, using it like a bat, and playing with it. People assumed I'd given it to them, because when asked to stop, they said no and continued. By the time someone woke me up and told me, they had broken the wrist strap and were pulling apart the pole to stretch the folding elastic. They did not say sorry. They did not take responsibility. They simply gave it back after saying "look, did you know it could do this?" and stretching the elastic again. My friends reprimanded them, but now the wrist strap connection is broken and keeps falling off my wrist, putting me in danger.
The day before this happened, they had asked to hold the cane, and I said no.
Stop feeling entitled to touch people's medical aids. Stop acting like they're not really necessary or important. Stop fucking breaking our shit.
#disability#disabled#physically disabled#chronic illness#cripple punk#angry cripple#hsd#hypermobile joints#hypermobile spectrum disorder#being a disabled minor is so horrendously difficult#i hate high school#ableism#cane user#cane#mobility aid#mobility cane#harrassment#young and disabled
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what about yellow teeth? my teeth always stayed yellow and that + my poor mental health made brushing just so nightmarish
#Yellow teeth can be genetic#Also! This is what i meant by i hate the hollywood smile#Hollywood smile being perfect white teeth#Teeth arent MEANT to look like that. Its uncanny (to me)#Yellow teeth are normal <3#But but but it's important to do your best brushing!#Its not about whitening your teeth#its about the fact that fluoride helps enamel health and prevents cavities!#It may be difficult but its less difficult than avery expensive life with pain as a result! Remember! Its never too late!#Enamel cavities can even self-repair with enough time care and love!#Try disposable Toothbrushes you can keep by your bed#or toothpaste tablets!
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Brother- I keep on seeing people who think Jason can’t use technology bc he died.
Bro was trained by Batman and is a current vigilante?? He definitely has a better understanding of engineering and technology than most average people.
What I can see is him having no clue what’s going on on social media. Bro doesn’t have the free time and the gap he has in current events is def discouraging him.
Jason has the MySpace account he created pre-crowbar and he still thinks vine exists.
#Technology is not his strong suit but he is still trained in hacking and all that jazz#I can totally see Tim or Babs helping him out with some incredibly difficult niche piece of tech tho#but that isn’t bc Jason can’t use tech#it’s bc it’s Tim and Babs#they’re just build dif and make Jason look incapable when compared to them#jason todd#batfam#batman#dc robin#crowbar victim#robin!jason#no beta we die like jason todd#dc comics#headcanon#dc headcanon#no hate if you support the idea#I legit like the idea I just can’t see it being true
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I think everyone’s subscribing to the “Helena Infiltration Theory” WAYY too quickly. I kinda feel like a lot of the oddities in the way she was acting could be chalked up to something else, and defaulting to “that’s not Helly” feels a lot like… I don’t know, like brushing off character flaws by saying, “No, [X] is possessed! That’s not actually them!”
I’d probably buy into it a bit more if she didn’t have that moment in the halls with Mark where she fervently said, “We’re not the same, actually. Us and the outies, we’re not.”
There are reasons why Helly would want to lie about her identity, and chief among them is the fact that she hates her outie—desperately wants to place distance between them, desperately wants to convince herself that the person she saw wasn’t her.
But there are compelling reasons for both angles, and I can’t say that I won’t be scanning future episodes for hints to either prove or disprove this, so… cheers, 🥂.
#my post#i’m mostly just worried people will use this as some sort of ‘‘gotcha!!!’’ and go the whole season believing it#and then being like. ‘‘what she’s really Not helena?’’ if it doesn’t turn out they’re right#but maybe they are! idk i kinda mostly feel uncomfortable with the idea that it’s Not the helly we know and love;#that the other innies are separated from her#ugh i hate that i can’t find the right way to word my thoughts on this; i feel like the ‘‘analysis’’ i wrote in the post is lacking#but whatever. on a different note: i think i’m not gonna look at theories online/on tumblr while this is happening#because if there is genuinely a theory that predicts something from the show. i’d still rather have seen it in the episode itself#and be surprised that way#WHICH IS GONNA BE DIFFICULT. IT’S GONNA BE HARD AS HELL TO STAY AWAY.#but i digress#severance#severance spoilers#severance season 2 spoilers#honestly the most odd moment for me with helly was when she was like ‘‘wait what?’’ at the news about ricken hale#because i just don’t think she’d give a fuck 💀 she didn’t even see the book initially; i don’t think she’d Know the importance of#what it meant to mark or dylan. least of all remember the name#but that might just be nitpicking#anyways that’s all i can coherently put into words rn. fare thee well
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Who had the worst time aboard the TARDIS?
TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST
#genuinely vote peri#i've not seen all of her stories but my god from what i've seen the 80s writers hated her#there are some stories where she'd probably be better off dead#she seems to be in a constant living torturous hell with 6 being constantly nasty too her#this poor woman#okay specific example#her first trip after her introduction (recounted from memory so some details my be wrong)#she and the doctor unknowingly touch a poisonous plant which will kill them slowly and painfully (but fast enough she almost dies by the en#so great they need to find a cure#which is horrendously difficult to find in the best of circumstances#but these aren't the best of circumstances#they get taken hostage pretty quickly and very nearly get executed by firing squad#they get rescued by one of the most unnerving villains i think in the entire show#he creeps on peri constantly#like he gets as close to assaulting her as its possible to depict on tea time telly#and peri can't do anything about it#her life is entirely in this guys hands#like most of the time i find caves of androzani the be so hyperviolent as to be funny#but jesus christ the shit they put peri through in it#anyway by the end she's so ill the doctor has to drag her near lifeless body back to the tardis#gives her the cure and then promptly regenerates#and now peri's nice friendly doctor is uhh tv 6#bad times: quarters
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“You can’t enjoy being neurodivergent/disabled/having X disorder if it makes you suffer so much! How dare you be making jokes about it!!!” Well you see, your bad days only suck a little bit so you don’t appreciate the good days very much. My bad days suck so much worse, so I only appreciate the good days that much more to compensate.
#like#sorry if you’re offended by me finding joy in things you don’t understand or think should be hated#yes ADD makes it hard to stay on task and get things done and i forget things a lot#yes autism makes it difficult to socialize and i don’t know how to cope with things sometimes#yes being a system is stressful and some of us have harmful behaviors and maladaptive coping mechanisms#but that’s not all it is#ADD lets me hyperfocus and lock in on doing something. and i can make some incredible connections from one concept to another#and autism. my brain works in a way that lets me enjoy things i’m interested in so much more than i could have otherwise#and as a system i get to have silly little guys in my head who help me do things#sorry for hating an experience you don’t have and thus determine as extremely regrettable and horrible#cb writing stuff#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#neurodiverse stuff#neurodivergencies#neurodiverse things#add#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#attention deficit disorder#system#system stuff#plural#plurality#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autistic things
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wanna get back into mdzs but you are all so goddamn weird about jiang cheng
(i don't wanna retype my tags but read them pls... if you are both a wwx and jc enjoyer interact with this post please)
#the jc discourse drew me away from this fandom years ago#and i wanna return but i don't trust you people not to either woobify him or completely villainize him#'oh the book about morally grey characters has a morally grey character in it 😫😫'#ugh#it's also really difficult being in this fandom as someone who is simply not a hater sadly#why is it always jc stan who hates wwx or wwx stan who hates jc#where are my jc AND wwx stans... PLEASE I AM BEGGING#or is that too much to ask#limebug.txt#mo dao zu shi#mdzs#the untamed#cql#chen qing ling#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#wei wuxian#wei ying#jiang cheng#jiang wanyin#yunmeng bros
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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.
My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.
It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.
#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles#no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it#like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out#because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do#just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem#And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers#without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up#slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it#and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way#one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public#Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or#be In The Way of a peaceful moment#dont look at me#this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic#I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another#is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though#he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script#I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to#a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process#im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on#its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive#That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers#before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant
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