#i had lots of friends in high school
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if u would ever like a more in depth analysis of my Autism: I quoted hamlet, the hannibal screenplay, and the succession screenplay all in a single essay on the AP Lit exam my senior year 👍
#wow thats awesome#i had lots of friends in high school#hannibal lecter#hannigram#nbc hannibal#will graham#dogs#hugh dancy#frederick chilton#ap lit#ap lang#the road#cormac mccarthy#hamlet#succession#roman roy#shakespeare#autism
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Danny (the dandelion) brought back a core memory of me naming trees back in elementary/middle school XD so this is full on inspired by that
@cyucya their becoming my comfort duo I’m afraid
Also it felt nice to draw in pen again it’s been a while
Full page 👇

I also know of the pain of losing your plant friend, a lot of the trees I named got removed. At least my favorite one stayed for a while :D his name was Mr. Maple and me and my friend loved hanging around him during our lunch hour/recess.
Sonic Masterpost
I am steve meme
#I had so many names lol#I remember naming one spring#another was colorful#and I think I named one bob#cause yk#im a very silly goober#my friend thought I was weird for it but yk XD I didn’t care#I lived in a school that had a lot of trees…. or well used to#had to make the school a bit bigger so that’s why the trees had to be removed :(#luckily me maple was far enough away that he wasn’t removed#I was in high school then though#sonic franchise#fanart#sonadow fam au#sonadow fankid#sonic fanart#Sonic oc#oc crossover
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guess those feelings are gonna stay unrequited, huh? — ( feat. @laurzvahll's sol! )
#haiiii this one's been sitting in my wips for a sec and i finally finished it :)#awhile back i came to the realization that kuroba would've still developed a crush on kara even after becoming friends with sol in this au#so i had to draw something based on that#i actually have a lot more doodles squirreled away for this au thanks to me & laur talking about it a lot hehe#i'll share them soon. there's been some fun developments :3c#also the last panel really puts how fuckin lanky kuroba is especially back in high school. they're like 5'9" here.#osmt#18matsu#karamatsu#others ocs#others oc : sol#ship : solkara#mj ocs#oc : kuroba#au : sazanka days#<- finally figured out a decent au name for kuroba's 3rd year au#it fits better since the au includes their 2nd year#mj draws#laurzvahll
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Narusasu high school au that no one asked for because I have Naruto worms in the brain

I'm cringe but I'm free
EDIT: fixed version here 🙂↕️
#ive been binged watching#and this came to my mind#basically they were childhood friends who bickered a lot#had a fight big right before sasuke moved away and they lost contact for a few years#then sasuke comes back in hs and they kinda hate each other until they are forced to do a group project together#and then they kiss#kiss kiss fall in love#they are so dear to me#i wanna draw Sakura and shikamaru too 🫶#art#fanart#my art#naruto#narusasu#naruto uzumaki#sasuke#sasuke uchiha#high school au#alternate universe#anime#queer#genderqueer#trans#headcanon#bisexual
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it's a strange but nice realization that suddenly you do find yourself in a place where you feel secure in your friendships and valued by the people who matter to you. even when i still find myself in a situation with new people and i feel like the odd one out, i don't care as much as i used to and i find it easier to still make a connection with a few people (most people are friendly!!). if you're a teen or in your early twenties and you feel like you'll always be on your own or not have any lasting friendships that feel completely safe, you're wrong cause that's gonna change. you'll know more about yourself, as will your friends, and these things do get easier. and if this happens "later" in life for you by whatever standard you measure that, it's never too late but you gotta seek out the help you need to make sure you find yourself worthy of all of that (spoiler alert it came free with being born)
#friday night ramble i guess!!!!!#just feeling really grateful tbh#it's not like my friendships in high school were bad#most were okay/good#but blah blah in the closet etc etc#but then my graduation year did kinda suck#but i always had the feeling that my people were out there and i'd find them in college#call it optimism but i think it was surprisingly realistic for 18 y/o me to think#anyway#ended up finding a lot of my people in this fandom too#so shout out to con friends and mutuals i talk to sometimes daily#yall make life so much more bright ily#god another ramble in the tags lol who asked for this
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Btw if you come on holidays and stay at an AirBnb instead of an actual registered hotel I hate you personally. Not "I hate the gentrification and touristic massification and the way we can't live in our homes and are forced to move away because of tourism" in an abstract way- No, not just that. I hate you.
#I'm from a seaside town that has become popular with tourists who come for the beach and the mediterranean climate#and the typical whitewashed walls of mediterranean coastal towns#in just a few years the average rent has gone up so much that now the average rent id#*is over 1000€ per month#one thousand!#that's a whole salary!#in the past 2 years they've been building a new neighbourhood. they've destroyed the vinyeards to make a new neighbourhood that will make#the town 1/3 bigger than it is. that's a lot. but all those houses are luxury houses with private swimming pools for rich foreigners (we#already have 2 private British schools high schools and college(in the british sense)/baccalaureate where their kids go and never have to#interact with locals. I teach some of those kids and they're very prejudiced against locals and very bigoted against the catalan language#(which ofc they never bother to learn)#there's a law in catalonia that says that for every certain amount of houses you build you are obligated to build a certain percentage of#affordable housing. so in this new neighborhood they built the bare minumum affordable housing which is still too expensive for us#and since there's so few of them everyone is competing to get them. the city hall and the bank have had to make an official competition for#them but you only classify if the renr would not be more than 1/3rd of your salary which is impossible. my cousins who are in their mid 30s#and have been working a good qualified job for 15 years (and their partners too) are considered too poor to be considered for the#affordable housing#everyone is having to move out to other cities away from their friends and family and current jobs. the only jobs left here soon will be#mostly directed at tourists#and the only way to continue living here if you're a normal person and not rich is if you're an only child who one day might inherit the#parents' house#but we look around at what's happening in nearby cities and we see the next step which will be airbnb taking the houses that are left#in many places (I've posted about thia before) there aren't any flats for rent or sell anymore that isn't an airbnb#I'm still lucky in my town when compared to other places like Barcelona which are already full of the airbnb plague#actualitat#airbnb#tourism#touristic massification#gentrification
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having lesbian friends irl would heal me
#i had a lesbian friend and a trans friend in high school and they made me realize a lot about myself#missing them#i’m tired of str8 girlies groups#i need some diversity 😫#lgbtq community#lgbtq#queer#lesbian#sapphic#wlw#mini rant#personal
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actually...
looking at a bunch of my old favorite mutuals blogs that have been inactive for years. i miss them, even if i never really talked to any of them. when you're mutuals with a person for so long they become a comforting presence even without talking. you see them every day and read their posts about their thoughts or feelings or about what's going on in their life and so on. and they just become a part of your daily life in such a subtle way.
and then one day they just never post again. without warning. shit sucks. i actually hate it.
#i think about so many old mutuals like every day#just wondering where they've gone and what they're up to and how their lives have turned out#i love them and miss them so much#actually there have been a couple times when old mutuals suddenly become active again after years#but i can't count on that -- most don't#i wish there was some website or app or whatever#that would make it possible to stay in contact indefinitely#like i just imagine something like linktree or whatever#but also something more#just this one central hub with one username and it is just saved forever#and so any person who remembers your name can just look it up and suddenly have access to all these ways to contact you#because i've had my blog deleted a few times and like i gotta slightly change my url every time#so if someone looks up my og blog url they won't be able to find me#and that shit makes me sad#just a slight change in url could mean the difference between staying in contact#whatever#i get like this occasionally#nostalgic and sad because i miss old mutuals#scrolling their long abandoned blogs#idk why i do this to myself lmao#i do it with facebook sometimes too#i haven't posted since like high school#and sometimes i go back and see all my friends' profiles frozen in time#because a lot of their profiles are also inactive for whatever reason#i don't know why this shit makes me so sad#so yeah if you're a mutual -- even we don't talk -- don't ever just randomly delete or become inactive#even if we don't talk you can give me your other socials or whatever#or even an email idc#i just don't want to lose connection with any of you -- when i'm 80 years old i wanna reminisce with y'all#and i wanna throw everyone a feast someday
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more of my nonsense!! bigfin squid guy brought to you by @eyelied2you
as per usual more info / ramblings in tags
#allan red#smiling friends#allan smiling friends#bj.art#allan & his clutchlings in 1st img of course#and him w his highschool friend in the second.they were both on the swim team#oh and allan had braces in high school#the joke is that in that one minecraft server he would be like well yeahh i was on the swim team in hs#'but i wasnt the best on the team' but the team is made up of like actual sea creatures#so duh he's gonna be better at swimming than everyone else because he was still faster than a lot of them#despite not being a fish#(hes also trying to deny the salamander allegations by saying this but its not going well.)
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Tag by @sunmiyane for this really cute poll game 🫶 I honestly don’t have a lot of cool thing in my room so I spend all day thinking about what I could put and half of it is pokemon fjsbjdbd
Tagging : @niteview @hoforwonho @lenteur @kimjunnoodle @doyeons @yunwooisms @jaebeomtual @bixiaoshi @insomtiny @wonhos-fabuloso @chlotual @taeraenomuyeppeo and anyone wanting to join on the fun ! 🫶
#in my last year of high school I can’t remember if we were force to join a committee#but my friends wanted to be in the graduation one and I follow we had to organize and put the graduation in place#and at the end they took us aside like ‘’tell no one but to thank you all for your hard work we are giving you your cap’’#and I like having it it’s on my desk and make me nostalgic but proud jchdjdjd#idk how many poke plushies I have but it’s A LOT#alex.txt#poll games#tag game
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i feel as if im going mad so im going to just put this out here. real quick. movieunleashers starters ramble.
i cant stop thinking about how mudkip broke down in that one scene in "Typomaniac," when Chespin called him mean. for a second he lets his mask slip a little bit and to me he just... acts his age. he starts crying and calls chespin mean back. maybe im just hyperfocusing on this one detail but mudkip is about 12 years old.
and that just makes me wonder what happened in this guys life that brought him to where he is now. and it makes it all the more tragic how his whole world revolves around chespin, but he is the one bringing him the most pain. and how young he was when he died.
there is a large theme of growing up in "Rare Candy." the characters ages are emphasized in that particular episode, and one of the main conflicts is fennekin wanting to evolve faster.
the thing about characters in these stories is that they're not allowed to just be kids, to have a childhood. so many bad things happen to them. like. mudkips whole, Everything. fennekin when she was famous in typomaniac, or dealing with her own insecurities/pressure from society about her relationship w chespin. and chespin always having to shoulder his friends problems & always somehow managing to stay positive despite everything.
why cant they just. play video games. eat ice cream or something. go to the movies
at the end of the day, i think both mudkip and fennekin are characters who grew up too fast. by distancing himself from them, chespin refused to follow in their footsteps and just wanted to stay a kid.
good for him.
#starters movieunleashers#rambles#long post#mudkip starters#fennekin starters#chespin starters#NOT TO SAY THAT BEING 12 YEARS OLD ABSOLVES YOU OF ALL CRIME BUT GOOD GOD#i honestly think it was good for chespin to distance himself from them??? especially mudkip. holy cow#he seemed... happier(?) in wild oranberries but tbf its hard to say for sure#bc chespin loves doing this thing called “lying”#also. i saw the end credits sequence#not sure how to feel about it i do not have enough information to go off of#but i suppose itll make more sense... all in due time#but going back to what i said earlier i think the issues a lot more complicated#i worry about chespin that boys friendship is basically just “i can fix him!” like girl. no#THEY ALL NEED THERAPY#INCLUDING THE GANG FROM LAVENDER TOWN#*ESPECIALLY* THOSE GUYS#please. ill cry#i cant help but think this will all end in tragedy#i hope mudkip gets a good ending or at least a bittersweet one#like again. he kills people. but hes also like not even in high school and i feel bad for all of them#anyways IM SORRH GOR YHE LONG RAMBLE I RLLY LIKE THIS SERIES??? AND THIS THOUGHT WAS EATING ME ALIVE SO I RLLY WANTED TO SAY IT#hey gang. new hyperfixation#hm. i should also mention the “watching his close friend die on front of him and feeling responsible for it” to the list of chespins traumas#i domt think fennekin was a “bad friend” as much as i think she just had her owm things toing on#and its entirely chespins choice to dostance himself from her
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#art summary#i have to clear out my phone. im hoping that if i remove all the nier rein screenshots ill have space#im almost certain its all the rein screenshots cause. they’re bigger than most pics and i had a lot#otherwise im not cooked but god i hope its that easy#i dont make resolutions but i hope i draw more next year#the problem with art summaries is youll have months where you draw a lot#months where yiu draw 10 good things and then every other month is empty#but you drew. so you cant look at art summaries with emoty months and get sad#but like i didn’t draw as much this year lmao too much going on in my head#i was gonna say i rarely drew but i draw so much more than the average person#what i really mean is i didn’t finish anything#i was in my dA gallery the other day and I really used to draw a fully colored piece everyday on high school#absolutely mad. and we (me and my friends) all used to do it#i just had a thought: a majority of my friends draw <- thoughts for later#i had to answer the door so I forgot what i was talking about#i think that. what i was getting at was that behavior really screws up what’s a healthy relationship with art?#like when you’re a kid you have time and when you’re inexperienced and don’t know you’re more forgiving on your mistakes#whereas now if i draw one thing a week thats a job well done to me. im so busy i can’t take it out on myself and i dont#and of course the sms algorithm but I don’t play with the algorithm#but yeah everyone i grew up drawing with friends or ppl i follow stopped drawing or just posting a lot and I’ve been thinking about it a lot#an artist i really like used to post a whole bunch of art dumps everyday. just doodles on different series and i loved seeing them#but they stopoed posting. working on being that kind of artist for me. we got xx art at home situation#if any of that makes sense
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Fixed the door that Johnathan had slipped through, not letting that happen again!
#dracula daily#dracula#re: dracula#may 18th#it's going to be all ooc after this tag on this post so feel free to ignore as i babble on about graduation and breathy mention mental heal#i graduated high school yesterday#which feels completely wild because their was a point in my life where i thought i wouldn't ever see it due to some mental health stuff#it just feels so serial to be here and be getting ready for college come fall#dracula daily has been with me for most of highschool#i first entered the fandom just after my sophomore year when i made my first tumblr account#i read it every day during lunch junior year when i had no friends with the same lunch hour#it's meant a lot to me and will always be connected to a certain time in my life#highschool wasn't great but i had some amazing teachers and made friends i hope to keep for the rest of my life#thank you too all of you lovely dracula people for making me smile all these years#i'm excited to keep reading and making silly jokes as i head into the world
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fucking hell i hate being sick so much
#marzivents#before the autoimmune shit being sick was annoying but i could get through it#it was fine. i didn’t like it but it was always over in like 2-3 days#i wouldn’t even miss school unless i was running a noticeable fever#(though by high school i kinda stopped checking)#now though? being sick is so much more treacherous than before#i have to rest so much. log this symptom manage that symptom keep your doctors updated#don’t stress out too bad! don’t wanna trigger a flareup#it’s scary. a cold could land me in the hospital if i’m not careful#plus. the symptoms of a cold feel a lot worse when your autoimmune flareups start like colds#it’s just the worst. am i gonna have to spend the rest of my life afraid of the common cold#how the fuck do i go about being immunosuppressed without developing germaphobia#i know that in a year or two this will feel normal and i’ll be used to it#but right now it’s still new and it’s so so frightening#it feels like everyone is sick all of the time. at any given point in time 2 of my friends have some sort of cold#this winter season has been especially abysmal#but even before then. several folks i knew had walking pneumonia in the summer#there’s all these outbreaks always happening. it’s terrifying#plus there’s the inconveniences of missed class time#i don’t want to miss school. i like school. i want to go and learn and get my degree#but i have to rest so i can’t go to class which fucks up my grades which stresses me out#which makes me more likely to get sick later! it’s fucking awful#i dunno. i need to go to bed i think. i’m just… stressed and tired and sick of it
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Does anyone else automatically size themselves up with people their age and look for ways that you’re inferior to them? Just me? Ok….
#the reasons why I think like this are…complicated#honestly a lot to do with the#adhd struggle bus#surprise surprise the neurodevelopmental condition has overarching and very specific effects on my life and how I interact with the world#of course disclaimer that this weird thing I have is not inherent to adhd#but maybe is a way of thinking I developed in part due to it#this is a me thing if anyone else relates to this fine but you don’t have to#I think thi oversharing series is a way for me to microdose journaling#I try to get into journaling but I have way too many thoughts#it’s all or nothing either I write nothing or I spend 3 hours documenting everything thought I had that week#I think a lot of this has to do with my persistent issues with time management#and I’ve tried to hide this struggle in a lot of ways because ngl it’s embarrassing#to the point where I held myself back from doing certain things I wanted to do because ‘hmm could you handle it though you’re already#struggling to manage in school with the bare minimum. maybe you just suck’#and this is probably because I went to a college prep school so yeah#there were 14 year olds taking multivariable calculus and people with various talents#to say that I was intimidated would be an understatement. it’s strange because while in middle school my self esteem was decent it dropped#in high school like how stock prices dropped in the beginning of Covid#even though I was like an ok kid I somehow convinced myself that I was dumb and inept#all because I struggled with one area in my life#honestly I’m not sure if I can paint a clear picture of this time. for one#memories are complex. but I do remember feeling that way and needing a lot of support to be hyped up#fuck#I’m now remembering how my aunt used to be that person. she was my cheerleader growing up and practically raised me in childhood#she passed away from cancer right when I turned 15#shit I’m crying now#during this time in my life I needed a lot of reassurance since I took any small failure as a sign from the universe that I was indeed inept#it was her and my middle school friend who used to rant to me about dragon ball and pewdiepie that hyped me up#my parents were a mixed bag. unfortunately they too sorta overreacted to things like getting a B in math. they used to make me feel like#uchiha-gaeshi overshares
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.
#bjk talks#going to my parents house is proving a more and more stressful business of late >.<#my grandmother is really not doing so good lately#and it has my dad on edge#and when my dad is on edge everyone else ends up on edge too#my mom is compulsively playing peacemaker and my grandmother is compulsively apologizing and worrying#real dark mirror for me to look into of all my worst conflict aversion and insecurity tendencies XD#my brother is buried in some work project that is spilling into his vacation and has kept him upstairs the whole visit#I haven't gotten any writing done either cos I'm sharing a room with my grandmother#and she gets anxious if I stay up a lot longer than everyone else#[sigh] I'm glad to be here but it's just... a lot#</vent>#had a nice time at the theater yesterday though#and went out and saw some high school friends today which was fun#I hope y'all are having a lovely holiday time also <3
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