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huihuiheart · 3 years ago

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Unexpected Surprise - Seonghwa - Part 2

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Ateez Masterlist

Pairing: Seonghwa x F! Reader

Genre: Angst + Fluff

Summary: Trying to build onto your little family of two was proving to be harder than you thought it would be. Not that you could be happy like this, but you were just waiting for that little something special. - Part 1

Warnings: Pregnancy, trouble getting pregnant, some crying, being taunted and somewhat harassed by family members, cursing, some themes of self doubt, throwing up/morning sickness, mentions of drinks.

Word Count: 2955

“I’m gonna cook something light for you, so hopefully you can get some strength back. You just go relax.” Seonghwa kisses your forehead, letting you go off to do that. Remembering your mother’s earlier words and going to take a pregnancy test. Not realizing you were gnawing on your lip, until Seonghwa came to get you to let you know food was ready, “Wait...is that a pregnancy test?”

You nod before starting to speak, “Yeah, mom thought I should take it just in case...I’m too anxious to look at the result though.”

“Want me to do it?” He offers and when you nod again, he steps over to look at the test. Pausing for a long moment as your nerves settle into the air, before looking at you with tearing eyes holding the test up to show you two lines on the test. It was positive, it came out positive...and for the first time in a long time, you felt at peace. No longer worrying about the words anyone else had spewed at you because they didn’t matter right now all that matters was the development of this new life inside of you.

“It’s finally happening Hwa... we’re gonna have a baby.”

_____________________________________________________

Besides telling both sets of parents so that they would know what the cause of your upset stomach had been instead of worrying over what could be wrong you kept things a secret for a few months. Waiting a trimester to make sure that all was well before letting everyone know. It was perfect though, a beautiful addition to Christmas it had been...well most everyone thought that anyways. Your sister-in-law’s face held a nasty look, her tongue poking at her cheek as if she was biting her tongue, her eyes narrowed at you. One of her hands gripping her other first, as if she was holding herself back from coming at you.

Her once again finding and cornering you when you had to go step away from the group for a moment, “So you’re pregnant now...big deal. It’s too late anyway, it’s not going to get you your place back in this family. We’re planning for a third now, we have the first grandchild. You need to just accept that you’ve been replaced and stop trying so hard.”

“I don’t know what your problem is, but you really need to stop taking it out on my wife.” You hear Seonghwa’s voice before he steps into view having come across the both of you, “Just because the family welcomed you into it at one point doesn’t mean you ever replaced anyone. The family grew, not replaced, but you already know that, don’t you? So why don’t you shove those poisonous words back down your throat and go mind your business, because if you continue to try and choose to make this our business...you’re not going to like what happens.”

Your husband slips an arm around your back, hand gripping your hip as he guides you away from your sister-in-law before she even has a chance to respond to what he said. He wanted to get you out of there as quickly as he could, knowing how much her words always seemed to affect you. Not wanting her words to further impact your self-esteem, especially mixed with pregnancy hormones. The family Christmas party was at your house this year, but you chose not to make her leave just to not create a scene in front of everyone. Still, Seonghwa called it a little early so that you wouldn’t feel so stressed by the situation, helping you clean after knowing you were exhausted from the whole ordeal, especially emotionally, and could use some rest.

New Years was thankfully a much more emotionally welcome event, choosing to spend with close friends celebrating. Announcing to them your happy news, and explaining why you wouldn’t be drinking along with them that night. Seonghwa didn’t have much either though, staying by your side and being doting as ever, knowing that soon he’d be back to working a lot and not be able to help you as much as he could now. Something you knew he’d likely worry about a lot even with you reassuring him. It wasn’t like he was addicted to work, it just couldn’t be helped sometimes, especially with him working to provide what you needed to provide for the little one who would soon be joining you. The day he had off so he could recover from New Years passed far too quickly and he was already back to work leaving you to fend for yourself most of the time now.

Seonghwa’s parents were at your house a lot, especially his mother, which brought you a lot of comfort especially when various pregnancy symptoms showed up and threw you off. Between her and your mother, you were able to make a pretty good list of what to get to prepare the nursery for the baby, as well as what to have in mind to put into a bag for when your water did break. Though you wouldn’t have to worry about that until closer to when you were due. Your sister in law however was getting more bitter as the days passed and your mother started to give you more and more attention when she wasn’t doting over the grandchildren she already had. She was ecstatic that her daughter was having her first child though, wanting to be there for you every step of the way. Even taking over the preparations for your gender reveal by going with on your appointment to discreetly get the news, wanting you to be surprised too.

Seonghwa gets the weekend of the party off, insisting on helping your mother decorate so that things could be perfect without her having to get on ladders or do other things that would make you both nervous. The two of you heeded her advice and stayed far from her kitchen throughout the whole ordeal as she made macarons with colored filling perfectly in the center so that everyone could take a bite and see what it was. She also listened to you and made sure not to incorporate any games that would put you unnecessarily on the spot, only insisting on you each guessing what you thought the baby was before you actually found out.

Looking around as people filed in, you were confused seeing that your sister-in-law didn’t come despite the rest of the family, going to find Seonghwa and your mother, “Hey...where’s S/I/L I didn’t see them?”

“They weren’t invited.” Seonghwa says matter of factly, “She doesn’t respect our family, so why would they be invited to a day special for us?”

Despite the relief, you felt at her not being there your heart stopped, not sure how your mother would react. Having tried to keep quiet and suck it up for so long to keep the family perfect and without confrontation that you weren’t quite sure how she would react.

“Hwa told me pumpkin, I’ve kept things cordial with her but I’ve really only been interacting with her anymore to get the grandbabies. Your brother knows now too and he’s upset about it, said he’d talk to her...but she’s a grown-ass woman she can make her decisions. If she’s going to make that kind of decision though then she’s not welcome to be a true part of this family.” Your mother assures, an arm wrapping around your neck to pull you in to kiss your forehead before letting you go, “Next time though you better just tell me, don’t worry about upsetting me you’ll understand soon that no matter what our babies' well -being always comes first. Now let's forget about that before we worry the baby and focus on having a good time. Okay?"

You nod, letting Seonghwa lead you back out to where everyone was waiting as your mother passed around the macarons, somewhat forceful in the way she told everyone to wait before taking a bite. You and Seonghwa watched each other as you each took a bite before showing the other, eyes widening at the sight of pink in the center.

"A little girl. We're having a little girl." Your voice is so soft that you're sure only Seonghwa can hear it as you get emotional on him. You hadn't been particularly picky about what you wanted, but knowing the gender had made it all the more real to you that this was happening. That there was a little girl growing inside of you that you would soon bring into this world, and it suddenly all came crashing down. Seonghwa holding you in his arms as your tears bring some to his own eyes.

The rest of the evening was absolutely perfect, people excitedly coming up to suggest names and offer to get things for your little girl. It was a lot to take in and almost overwhelming, but having Seonghwa at your side grounded you enough to help process the surge of so many positive emotions at once. That and a few fresh air breaks throughout the evening before everyone left to go home.

Things went back to routine, for the most part, Seonghwa had to leave the country for work for some time. So the parents took over looking out for you even more than usual. You were upset, sure, but you knew this was done so that the last two months before you were due he could have more time to be there helping you out personally. Already planning on working with you to get the nursery perfect in time for your baby girl to arrive, even if she decided to come a little early. His mother tried to keep your mind busy before pregnancy hormones took over and made you emotional over missing him, instead using the time to help you plan a baby shower for mid-March. Though most of the gifts wouldn’t be much of a secret seeing as how most of your friends had been ranting on and on about all the things they were going to give you to help you and Seonghwa spoil your baby girl. Still, there were certain things you wanted to do, so you made a registry mostly to tell them what big things you didn’t want them to get for you. Only two items on the list, however, one is a crib that you wanted to pick out with Seonghwa. Second, at the suggestion of both mothers, you were going to be the one who picked out a rocking chair and proper padding for it, going as far as to tell you they would take you to as many stores to try them out as necessary so you could find one that was comfortable to sit in while your body went through everything. Knowing that even when she arrived and you were holding her there at night feeding her, you still had to recover from those nine months and so your choice would be what went in terms of one that is comfortable.

Once Seonghwa is home you’re somewhat clingy, and though he would deny it he is too. Only taking two weeks to wrap up getting back from tour before being off until the baby came, plus some extra time to get you both fully settled home before they started back on schedules again. Taking over the task of helping you go find a rocking chair you liked for the nursery and looking for a crib while you both were at it. Seonghwa let you help paint the trim in the nursery, but then kicked you out for all the painting until the room aired out. Giving you a slightly scolding look whenever you brought him something to drink and check if he needed anything else, but not saying anything knowing you each were just caring for each other in your own ways.

“The crib and rocking chair are getting delivered a few days before the baby shower. Do you want to invite one of the boys over early to help you put things together?” You ask from the doorway, before getting another scolding look as you move to open the window to help air out the room, “ I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. They’ve been rather excited about everything.”

“No, I’ll be able to do it.” Seonghwa insists, making you roll your eyes a little.

“Yeah okay mister, I’ll believe that when I see it all in one piece...with no screws still floating around.” You tease him just a little, “I’m gonna go eat, little one is getting fussy.”

Seonghwa hums fully focused on painting again then. Not that it mattered, he’d still make a mess of it anyways. Knowing that the nice clothes he insisted on wearing are now likely stained with paint for good. When the furniture you ordered arrived though he did, somehow, manage to put it together, with you there translating the directions manual for him. Then only a few days later everyone was at your house for the baby shower. You opened gifts from excited friends and family, while Seonghwa diligently moved the larger items to the nursery and put them away okay. Leaving the clothes, plushies, and other such things for you to determine how you wanted them later. You were eight and a half months now, so there were many things you shouldn’t be doing, but that was fine and so he’d let you have your joy preparing to welcome the baby in that way. Smiling at how both your mothers despite having helped you plan a hospital bag gifted you one fully prepped already so that you would have one less thing to worry about. Still, your nerves only seemed to increase along with your excitement. This was the last big thing you needed to finish the nursery and to be as prepared as you could for the baby. It was all the more real now, she would be here so soon, but what if you weren’t really ready? What if you had no idea what you were doing? Would everything really work out okay?

Of course, your daughter wasn’t helping with those nerves when she decided to make things a little more complicated for you. You felt your water break one of the rare times Seonghwa stepped out to go pick up some things, near the end of June now. Not only that, but it was of course also when Hongjoong decided to stop by to drop off a bear he’d customized for your daughter. Noticing a shift in your demeanor even if you were trying rather hard not to seem panicked.

“It’s about the baby, isn’t it? ....I’m going to call Hwa.” Hongjoong quickly grabs his phone to call his friend, staying calm until you told him exactly what was happening.

“Yeah...my um...my water broke. She’s coming.” You breathe out, trying to remember what you needed to do at that moment as Hongjoong’s eyes widened now, starting to panic just slightly. Still, he followed close behind, helping you with the hospital bag to get outside to wait for Seonghwa who was now rushing home to pull up.

“I’ll make sure the house is locked and okay, you just get her to the hospital safe so we can finally meet the little princess,” Hongjoong assures Seonghwa who is helping you into the car. Seonghwa thanked him quickly before driving, still frantic until you put your hand on his, trying to calm him down while texting your mothers that you were on your way to the hospital.

“Calm down Hwa, it’s okay. My water just broke. I’m just starting to go into labor now. They might not even admit me for a while yet, until I’m further along.” You remind him, still not too uncomfortable yet even if you knew that was only a matter of time.

By the time you arrived things had started to change in that regard, you were close enough to where they usually admitted that they took pity on you and admitted you. Getting everything ready for you, while Seonghwa and the rest of your family hang out in the room. Seonghwa and the mothers looking after you as you got closer and closer to being ready to deliver, while the rest of the family hung out, honestly more focused on the tv than you at the moment. After what felt like an eternity, but was only around two hours they said you were ready and kicked out most everyone. Letting you have Seonghwa and your mother with you for support. The doctor suggests you have a point of focus to help you, instantly looking to Seonghwa. His hands were on yours, rubbing to ground you, but his eyes stayed on yours giving you something to focus on providing you a distraction from some of the unpleasant feelings. Though another form of painkiller was hearing a cry from your daughter for the first time as she announced her presence.

Both sets of parents were able to see her in the hospital, but after covid things were more restrictive with newborns. So most family and friends weren’t able to see her there. You promised they could meet her when she came home if everyone was careful. The boys helped your parents disinfect the whole house before you got home even if you knew it wasn’t fully necessary and planned a two-week quarantine so they could meet her. Making a day out of it and making sure everyone was careful still, already so in love with her even before meeting her. Once again showing just how spoiled she would be and the thought makes you laugh a little.

“Hey, guys! Meet Binna.”

#fluffy february event #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez fic #ateez x reader #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa fic #seonghwa x reader

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icarushasfallenfromthestars · 4 years ago

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hi!! do u mind if i request? maybe a tommy x reader who’s been struggling recently, with like getting out of bed, doing homework and stuff, and one day she doesn’t respond all day (probably just lying in bed all day or sm) and tommy goes to her house to see what’s up and comforts her and tries to help (even tho he’s lowkey bad at it he can always make u laugh that’s fax) and they kinda have like a ‘self care/help day’ with face masks and movies and unending laughter? thank u so much!!

Oooooo my first writing request! By the way it's written, I assume the reader is a female so that's what is gonna be written! Thanks for requesting!

I accidentally made this a little more dramatic than intended...

I Don't Know What To Do (So I'll Make You Smile) (Plat!Tommyinnit x F!Reader)

He didn't quite understand why you became so... Unmotivated lately. You briefly mentioned that you couldn't drag yourself over to your desk, let alone bring yourself to do the homework your teacher assigned.

Normally he didn't care too much and always said (jokingly) about how you should drop out of school and become a minecraft streamer. He got heavily scolded by Philza for suggesting it though. Normally, though.

Lately he's been taking glances at your report cards when you weren't looking and saw you mostly has C's and D's down the board. You were failing.

At the time, he didn't know how to bring it up or whether or not he should, and asked Philza Minecraft for help on what he should do. Phil explained to him that your mental situation was actually looking pretty bad and he suggested that Tommy go check up on you as soon as possible.

So, like any modern day teen, he texted you way more often than before, anything from asking if you wanted to hang out or stream with him, or sending you some stupid tiktok he found.

At first it was working and Tommy couldn't help but feel proud of himself. But then one day you didn't text him back.

His brain just told him you were busy at that time and left it at that, but then it struck 6pm and he still recieved no response.

A little annoyed by being ignored, Tommy threw on a quick sweater and his shoes before heading to the door. After a quick shout to his mother, explaining that he was heading to your house, he stepped out and walked across the pavement.

Within a few steps, he was standing at your door awkwardly. Normally he would've just burst in with a lame yet some how dramatic greeting to your parents before storming to your room (it happened at least four times a week. They got used to it within the first month.) but now... Something held him back.

Were you okay? Were you ignoring him on purpose? Maybe he was being a bit too dramatic?

Ah. Since when has that ever stopped him?

With a sudden burst of confidence, he grabbed the doorknob and let himself in. Your parents were at work so he made sure to be extra annoying this time, pay back for ignoring him! "I'm breaking into your home!" He yelled dramatically after reaching out and pressing the doorbell a few times to alert his existence even more.

He took his shoes off and made his way to your room, the pathway ingrained into his mind at this point.

When he reached the door, he gave a brief knock (he had manners. Sometimes.) Before turning the knob. "You better be decent for both of our sanity!" He called before finally opening it.

Your room looked... Empty... at first. In the beginning, he thought you weren't home, that is until the blankets began to shift and there was an annoyed groan.

"Soooo dramatiiiiic..." You huffed, unfurling yourself from your cocoon of blankets to glare at him jokingly, but he looked more surprised.

"You look like you got hit with a bus!"

"Well screw you too..."

Tommy snorted before awkwardly sitting on the edge of your bed. "So.. why haven't you been up today? Or... Well.. Passing your classes?"

You were definitely shocked that Tommy noticed, and part of you wanted to joke to ease the tension, but you figured that would make it harder on him. "Well... See... I've been struggling a lot with my mental state and everything just became really stressful, but even then I couldn't do it... And.. Well still can't.."

"Why... Not?" He looked at you in confusion and you just shrugged slightly, running your hand through your bedhead... Which you could see Tommy trying his absolute hardest not to snicker at.

"I don't really feel motivated... I can't even really get out of bed.."

The blond boy gave you an awkward pat on the arm, making you roll your eyes. "Uhhh.. You.. wanna watch a movie? Or... Oh! Maybe we could go egg Wilbur's house while he's off being a simp for Nikki!"

You scoffed and began to laugh into your hand which caused Tommy to greatly relax. "That's hours away, Tommy... We'd never get there before my parents get back. But we can watch a movie?"

"You're no funnnn!" He whined dramatically with a slight hint of a smile before shaking his head, "Go at least brush your hair while I find a movie, it looks like a porcupine got struck by lightening."

You rolled your eyes and slowly began to shuffle out of bed to make your way to the bathroom while Tommy turned on the TV in your room, having been here enough times that he knew how to use it.

When you came back, mostly cleaned up with a sweater thrown over your pajamas, you saw Tommy putting on one of his favourite comedy movies. There was also some snacks he had probably raided your kitchen or secret candy stash for, but you didn't mind. You flopped back down into your bed, while Tommy hit play.

"I never under stand why women always make such a bit deal over pulling those face mask things off of their face!" Tommy gestured to the scene that was playing in the movie. "Also why do they need so many face products? Doesn't water and dish soap do the trick?"

"You do NOT use dish soap on your face!" You gaped at his response to the movie. "And trust me... Those peel masks hurt." You saw Tommy roll his eyes for a moment before you got an idea. "Wanna try?"

The teen looked at you as if you were high on glue, but then he saw the challenging look in your eyes, and everyone knows that Tommy Big Man Innit NEVER backs down from a challenge. Or maybe he knew it would make you happy? "It can't be that bad!"

You knew he was gonna regret that.

You paused the movie while you scrambled to get your skin care products ready. First you made him wash his face, moisturize, etc etc, which he complained about non stop, but you always told him to quit whining or he was admitting to losing against the woman in the movie. He instantly quit complaining, calling the actress and pansy and hell bent determined to prove himself as an alpha male.

You made him put his hair back with a cheap headband you had, which caused his blond locks to practically flare out in every direction. After laughing about it for a minute, you made him sit down so you could paint the mask on.

"Sit still!"

"But it feels weird!"

"Keep quiet or this brush is going up your nose!"

"You wouldn't DARE."

"Wanna bet on it?"

After about five minutes of even more whining, you finally got the masks painted on you both as Tommy decided to take a picture of himself for Twitter to meme about.

Tommyinnit

Women are weird with their face skin care stuff...

While you both waited for the masks to dry, you had some how convinced Tommy to let you paint his nails but ONLY if he could do yours as well. We all know Tommy isn't about that toxic masculinity.

Once it was dry, you could see Tommy scrunching his face repeatedly, most likely not used to the unusual feeling. "Can I take this off now? I'm determined to prove myself better than those actors!"

You bit your lip to hide your grin as you gave a nod. Because yours was also dry, you showed him how to find an edge and how to pull it off.

"Ow! What the hell!?"

You snickered as you watched Tommy begin to yelp in pain as he began to pull the mask off, only able to do tiny tiny little bits at a time before needing a moment to gather himself, eyes watering.

You, being a boss, were already majority of the way done pulling the face mask off causing Tommy's jaw to d r o p. "You're a literal hell spawn! How are you not bawling your eyes out from the pain?!"

"I've done this quite a lot of times honestly. It's not that bad." You lied through your teeth. Honestly it hurt quite a lot, but you were just enjoying seeing Tommy gawk at you before trying to peel the mask off more, only to yelp and whine.

It took twenty minutes, and eventually, he got the product off and stared at his reddened face in the mirror. He decided to take another picture (with permission) for Twitter with you being a smug little shit while his eyes were still watery and his skin still irritated.

Tommyinnit

I respect women even more now...

(Yourusername)

@/tommyinnit Wimp.

#tommyinit mcyt #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x y/n #dream smp #tommyinnit #mcyt #mcyt x reader #platonic x reader

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hxlyhead-harpies · 4 years ago

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What You Want (R.L.)

Hello everyone! The lovely @serenefreakgeek requested a Remus Lupin x Hufflepuff!Reader so here it is! I hope you like it!

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: One night on prefect rounds, Remus convinces the reader that they can be more than they always thought

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Injuries

Since you had stepped foot into Hogwarts first year, you knew that you were going to be a prefect. When the tall and beautiful Gryffindor prefect had escorted you to the Great Hall after you exited the train, you knew that you wanted to be just like her. She was regal and had an air of sophistication about her. And as a small eleven year old she had seemed impossibly grown up.

So as your years at school wore on, you did your best to prove yourself to be prefect material. You were always fighting to be the top of your class and were an exemplary example of a rule following student. It was simply in your nature to be good.

So when you were chosen to be a Hufflepuff prefect in your fifth year, you were not surprised, but you were overjoyed, to say the least.

Rounds were your favorite part of being a prefect. You loved walking through the old castle at night when the hallways were empty and quiet. Your school was always beautiful, but its beauty really shone in the darkness of twilight. And you enjoyed spending time with other prefects. You liked having conversations with like-minded individuals and it only made your nights better.

On this particular night, you were assigned to complete rounds with none other than Remus Lupin. You frowned when you read the name. You were confused as to how he even became a prefect in the first place. Yes, he was incredibly intelligent and kind, but he was also a part of a group that was famous for the havoc they wrecked on the school. You had to take house points away from his friends multiple times. And you cursed the rule that prefects couldn’t dock points from other prefects when you had caught him involved in some elaborate scheme to flood Filch’s office. You simply couldn’t understand how he had earned the position and in all honesty, you were a bit peeved that he had.

You had worked incredibly hard to become a prefect. Hours of late-night studying and painfully following rules even if they didn’t make sense, all in the name of becoming what you wanted. It almost felt like an insult when a prankster like him got the position handed to him on a silver platter.

So when you found yourself wandering the halls with him, you weren’t exactly sure what to say to him. You had always had an easy time talking to people, a true Hufflepuff virtue that you possessed, but with Remus, you were stumped. You couldn’t imagine that you had anything in common with a rouge like him.

After nearly a half-hour of silence, Remus spoke up.

“So how are you enjoying the year so far?” he asked. It was an awkward question, the kind you ask when you need to break the ice but can’t find a way how to.

“It’s fine so far,” you answered, “but I am stressed about the O.W.Ls,” you admitted. Remus hummed in agreement from beside you.

“I agree, it’s been stressful,” he said. You nodded awkwardly and another bout of silence fell over you both.

“So what are you planning on doing after we leave school?” you asked. You internally cringed as you said it; you hated being asked this question but you were arriving at the age where it was all that adults asked. Remus let out a sigh that let you know he also hated the topic and you mentally facepalmed.

“I’m not sure if I’m being completely honest,” he said with a chuckle, “but I think I might like to teach.” You crinkled your nose at his words.

“What?” he asked, confused by your reaction.

“You just don’t seem like the type,” you explained, “always running around and pulling jokes with your friends.” Remus laughed at your response.

“I guess you could say I’m three dimensional. Yes, I love a good joke here and there, but I love to learn,” he said, “and we’ve never really spoken so I’m not sure if you really know what ‘type’ I am.” You flushed at his words.

“Sorry,” you apologized in embarrassment.

“It’s alright. What about you?” he asked.

“Huh?” you responded, unsure of what he was asking. He chuckled again.

“What do you want to do when we leave school?” he asked, repeating your question. You felt your blush deepen. How come you kept embarrassing yourself in front of him?

“I want to take over my parent’s shop,” you said. Remus’s eyes lit up with curiosity.

“Oh, that’s cool! What kind of shop is it?” he inquired.

“It’s a bookshop,” you explained, “it’s in Diagon Alley.”

“Wait is it Flourish and Blotts?” he asked excitedly. You nodded shyly.

“Yeah. It’s been passed down through my family for a few generations,” you explained.

“That’s so cool,” he said earnestly, sending you a smile. You felt yourself grow warm. Remus seemed to have an effect on you and you weren’t sure if you liked it.

“Yeah, it is,” you said softly, “my brothers aren’t interested in taking over so it’s up to me.” You shrugged slightly. Remus’s smile dropped slightly at your words.

“So are you being forced to take over?” he asked. You furrowed your eyebrows as you continued to walk down the hallway.

“No not forced. It’s just that it’s what I’m supposed to do,” you answered. Remus was silent for a moment.

“But is it what you want to do?” he asked after a beat. You frowned. No one had ever questioned your potential career path before. They usually just accepted it when you said you were going to take over the family business.

“I think so,” you answered, “though I’ve never really thought about before. I’ve just always known that I was going to do it.” Remus nodded.

“Well, you shouldn’t feel obligated. You should do whatever you feel like doing, not just what people expect of you,” he said wisely. You walked in silence for a moment as you processed what he said. You were surprised that he spoke so candidly with you and you were shocked that he seemed to be able to read you so well after barely an hour together. As both of you traveled further down the hallways you were lost in deep thought, mulling over his words.

Suddenly, footsteps could be heard from a classroom to your right. Remus lightly grabbed your arm, sending sparks through your body from his touch, and nodded to the classroom. You both walked towards the room and opened the door. You cast a quick lumos to see into the darkened room. Two third years sat at a desk, looking up at you like deer caught in the headlights. It was very clear what they had been doing; their clothes were rumpled at their hands were still clutching each other. Remus cleared his throat.

“Come on now, off to bed,” he said, “Ten points from Ravenclaw.” The two third years stood up, guilty expressions lining their faces. They shuffled out quietly, holding hands as they went. You and Remus waited for them to be out of sight before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my Godric!” you exclaimed, gasping for air.

“Their faces!” Remus wheezed. You were suddenly struck by how beautiful his laugh was. It was a deep rumbling laugh, one that caused warmth to spread through your body simply from hearing it. It was the kind of laugh that made jokes sound funnier and moments seem happier. And in the bright light emitting from your wand, he looked nearly as beautiful as his laugh sounded. His hair was mussed and out of place, his eyes crinkled as he laughed. The scars that ran down his cheeks added ruggedness to his features that juxtaposed the softness of his eyes and his demeanor. You had never really noticed his beauty before. It was the quiet kind of beautiful that snuck up on you when you were least expecting it. In all honesty, you had never paid him much mind before. His prankster friends were the exact type of people you tried to avoid, so in the process, you had seemingly avoided him.

After a moment your laughs began to dissolve, causing a comfortable silence to fall. The two of you looked at each other, smiles still wide across your faces.

“A healer,” you said after a beat. Remus furrowed his eyebrows.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“If I could be what I wanted,” you explained, “I would be a healer.” Remus’s grin only grew.

“Then you should be one,” he said. You shrugged.

“Someone has to take over the shop,” you said with a wave of your hand.

“Doesn’t mean it has to be you,” he said. You just crossed your arms across your chest.

“I don’t know who else could do it,” you admitted, “I’ve been groomed for it my whole life.”

“Pass it off to some cousin,” he said cheekily, causing you to smile.

“Possibly,” was all you responded with.

As your years at Hogwarts continued you didn’t see Remus very much. You were in different houses and ran in separate social circles. But that didn’t stop you from staring at him across the great hall or doodling your name with his in the margins of your potions notes. And you always kept his words in the back of your head. They were the silent motivation to follow your dreams and live the life that you actually wanted. You still saw Remus when you attended your prefect duties and occasionally on rounds. You spent every second with him trying to memorize his features and gauge how he felt about you. But you only seemed to ever remain acquaintances. And when you were appointed the job as the Hufflepuff headgirl, you were sorely disappointed when Remus didn’t make headboy. And the day that you told your parents that you didn’t want to take over the shop and that you wanted to pursue a career in healing, you wished that you could run to him and thank him.

When you left Hogwarts you continued to work to become what you wanted. Soon, you got a job at St. Mungos. The life that you had built for yourself three years out of school was everything you could’ve hoped for. You had a small but cozy flat in London and a cat and the job of your dreams. But it still felt as if something was missing.

St. Mungos was slow tonight. Barely anyone had come in. You had fixed a broken bone for a child who had fallen off of their broom and had confirmed to a smiling woman that she was pregnant.

Shortly after nine, you were called into a room to heal a large wound. You opened the door as you read the chart. The man had a large gash in his abdomen. It was truly nothing serious but it would require several spells and ointment to relieve the pain.

“Hello! I’m (Y/n) (L/n) and I’ll be helping you tonight,” you said, still looking down at the chart.

“(Y/n)?” a shocked voice said. You looked up and met eyes with the man you hadn’t been able to get out of your mind since you had graduated.

“Remus?” you said breathily. He smiled warmly at you and nodded.

“You did it!” he exclaimed, “You became a healer!” You smiled at his excited tone.

“Would it be weird to say that I owe it to you?” you asked with a small smile. He just shook his head.

“You don’t owe anything to me you did it all on your own,” he said, his warm eyes looking into yours. You looked back down at the chart in an attempt to hide your blush.

“It’s good to see you, Remus,” you said softly. He moved slightly, as if in an attempt to get up, but winced in pain and clutched his side. You snapped back into focus, remembering suddenly why you were there and went to work.

The cut was easily fixed, though you couldn’t help but wonder how he got it. When you asked he just waved you off and mumbled out an excuse about falling. And as you worked, you tried to ignore how your hands burned as they grazed across his bare stomach. After a short while, he was all patched up.

“There you go,” you said as you finished rubbing on the final ointment. “It will probably leave a scar but it will heal.” Remus nodded, used to the idea of scars adorning his body.

“You’re great at this you know,” he said with a cute smile on his face.

“Oh stop,” you said with a blush, playfully waving him off.

“No, I’m serious. You were made for this,” he said, cocking his head. His eyes seemed to study you for a moment and you felt self conscious under his gaze. You began packing up your equipment but felt his eyes on you as you walked about the room.

“You’re all set to leave if you’d like,” you said finally, saddened that he would be leaving, afraid that you’d never cross paths again. Instead of making a move to leave, however, Remus simply asked you a question.

“Would you like to go out for dinner with me?” he asked, still seated on the examination table. You froze, unsure of what to say.

“Huh?” you let out after a moment. Remus smiled before pushing off the table and making his way across the room to you and grabbing your hand.

“You don’t have to say yes but I’ve been wanting to ask you that since we first went on rounds together,” he confessed, “but I was too nervous to say anything back then but I can’t bear the thought of leaving here and never seeing you again.” Your jaw went slack at his confession but you quickly caught yourself and smiled.

“Of course I’d love to go to dinner with you,” you said softly. Remus’s smile only grew.

“Perfect,” he murmured before bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it gently. You nearly melted.

“I get off in thirty if you’re free tonight,” you said nervously.

“Darling for you, I’ll always be free.”

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bokutosworld · 4 years ago

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third time’s a charm | bokuto koutarou

a/n: posting this in advance hehe happy birthday to my golden boy, sunshine baby, and the best ace, bokuto! i am so. in love with him. thank you furudate-sensei for creating him :’)

pairing: bokuto x f!reader

wc: 2.4k words of mutual pining and birthday fluff.

summary: bokuto has been wanting to confess his feelings for you, but you take him by surprise.

you met bokuto on your first year in fukurodani. despite being in the same year, you’ve only heard about him through stories told by classmates and friends. he was a powerful spiker, an up-and-coming volleyball ace, and you respected him for that.

it wasn't until that one rainy day that you met him. classes just finished and you were packing your things when the rain came pouring down. and it was only your luck that you forgot to bring an umbrella that day.

you hadn't realized how long you have been standing in the school entrance, near the shoe lockers, until you heard shuffling beside you. there was bokuto, seated on the doorway and tying his shoes. when he looked up at you, he was grinning from ear to ear - you've heard it was his signature smile - and it seemed to brighten up that rainy and gloomy afternoon.

'hey! wanna come home with me?' he said this so casually that you weren't sure if you heard him right. if anybody heard him, they could easily misinterpret him. he must have noticed that you were looking at him incredulously, 'oy! don't get me wrong! i just figured you didn't have an umbrella and we could maybe share! besides, we're going in the same way!'

how he knew where you lived was a mystery to you. of course, bokuto wouldn't admit that he had his eye on you for a while and that he passed by your classroom earlier, seeing you packing your things and noticed you didn't have an umbrella. you didn't want to question him further, because here he was offering you a safe and dry option to go home. so you accepted, 'i'd like that. thank you...'

'bokuto koutarou! but you can call me bokuto or koutarou. whichever you like really!' it was cute how he fumbled over his words, he hoped you didn't notice that he was too excited to be interacting with you. you smiled, 'thank you, bokuto. i'm y/n.'

on the walk home, bokuto proved to be a gentleman. his umbrella was big enough to cover the both of you but you noticed him tilting it to your side to make sure you didn't get wet from the rain. you guys made some small talk, catching up on your subjects, how the classes were treating you. you even asked him how volleyball was going for him.

when you finally arrived at your home, you thanked him and even offered to let him inside so he could dry himself. but he was shy and insisted that you can just pay him back at school then he went on his way. you were left standing at your door, wondering what he meant. but you couldn't deny that you were looking forward to getting to know him more.

the following morning, bokuto made his way to your class during lunch. he sat down at your desk, and it was as if you two were best buddies as he chatted with you and told you stories about his morning training. as much as you were surprised, you didn't mind it and indulged him. your classmates were a witness to the blossoming friendship between the two of you.

since that day, you and bokuto were inseparable. from helping him study, accompanying him in his extra trainings, and even going out of your way to make him cute little bentos, you showed him support in the ways you knew possible as his best friend. everyone thought you guys were dating. towards the end of the year, rumors were circulating that you and bokuto are together. you chose to ignore it, not wanting to ruin the wonderful friendship that you two shared.

however, unknown to you, those gossips were sparking something in bokuto. he always thought you were a great person - smart, attractive, kind. the recent talk in school made him realize that he saw you as a woman and he was yearning for something more with you.

so one day, bokuto decided that he was going to confess to you after school. when he dropped you off at your house, he stayed for a few minutes. he stood there in front of you, fidgeting and you thought it was cute. you figured he wanted to say something so you waited. but just as he finally mustered up the courage to say he likes you, the front door opened, revealing your dad. bokuto panicked and looked between you and your dad. 'hello sir! i was just taking her home.' he bowed and his gaze flitted over to you, 'i'll see you tomorrow at school!' and the boy ran away fast, leaving you and your father with confused looks on your faces.

second year arrived and you guys were closer than ever. however, you were both busy with club activities - you with student council responsibilities and bokuto with trainings and practice matches for the volleyball club.

the two of you saw each other in the hallways, stopping by to hug each other and have conversation before class started. sometimes, you would see each other in the cafeteria where he was often sitting with his team and you with your own group of friends. you would exchange knowing looks across the hall and both your friends would tease you. bokuto was already used to it, but you were always a blushing mess.

one morning, bokuto came to your the student council room before the classes started. you wondered what he was doing here, 'aren't you supposed to be in morning practice right now?' he smiles, 'yeah! but i wanted to introduce someone to you first!' he moves to the side and reveals a boy. it turns out the boy is named akaashi, a first year member of the volleyball club. he was a setter and bokuto was overly excited, complimenting him nonstop about his skills and how he makes a great addition to the team. akaashi was flattered, almost bashful, and you were amused seeing bokuto so fond of the younger boy.

easy to say, the introduction of akaashi also meant that your duo became a trio. much to bokuto's delight, you and akaashi got along so well. despite him being a year lower than you, you interacted with him comfortably. often, you would wait for the two boys to finish practice so the three of you can go home together. in between walks home, you would stop by cafes to try new food and drinks.

and being the observant person that he is, akaashi saw through the feelings that you and bokuto shared and he was puzzled as to why the both of you weren't still a couple. there were boys in his class who were asking him about you, if he can introduce them to you. but he would always politely turn them down, respecting the closeness of your relationship with bokuto.

there was a day when you had to skip on going home with them. you messaged them saying you had to stay back for student council duties. and as much bokuto and akaashi would have liked to wait for you, they had game tomorrow and had to rest to be in good condition so they went head. the walk was silent and akaashi was wondering if bokuto was on one of his moods. however, his worries were quickly dispelled when the older boy turned to him and asked, 'do you like y/n?' it surprised him but at the same time, akaashi found it amusing.

'no, bokuto-san. i believe y/n already has her eye on someone else.' he gave bokuto a knowing and encouraging look. 'you should try confessing to her. it wouldn't hurt letting her know about your feelings,' akaashi advised.

when bokuto settled in his home, he mulled over what akaashi told him. he wasn't that oblivious to recognize the many boys who were looking at you and wanting to make a move. it always crushed his heart whenever he thought he could lose you and your friendship once you entered a relationship. he knew he had to make his move, but he also knew how you were getting busy lately with student council. he didn't want to add to your stress, and to be honest, he was at the point of his volleyball career where he had to focus all his time on the sport. entering a relationship now when you were both busy would be futile. so in the meantime, he thought he'd wait for the right time and pushed back any plans to confess.

finally, you and bokuto were on your last year in high school. he made a promise to himself that he would properly ask you out before graduation. and it was like the gods of matchmaking and love were on his side as the two of you were finally on the same class!

he was thrilled, running up to you to hug you on the first day of school. he thought about the many opportunities he had to finally ask you the question. however, as seniors, there was the looming responsibilities of college entrance exams and last volleyball matches that kept you two busy.

often bokuto would whine to you in class, 'y/n!!!!!!!! why do i not see you anymore? this is torture.' you would always laugh at his dramatic ass, and to your classmates it was a sight to see the ace looking for your attention. yet much as you wanted to spend time with him, you had papers to help file for the council and exams to prepare for. but as his best friend, you would often make it up to him, going to his games to support him and giving him notes that he needed for the classes he missed. you were even helping him study for his own college exams on weekends.

your parents were getting concerned, worried that you were spending too much time outside on weekends instead of resting home. one time, before you left, your mom stopped you, 'why are you doing all this for bokuto? he's perfectly capable on his own, you know.' you stopped, remembering all the times bokuto would run to you for help on a subject, the times when he would call you to ask about a question. you liked how he depended on you, and deep inside you knew that a part of you depended on him too. you knew that if he decided to stop talking to you, he would be taking a piece of you with him.

you didn't get to answer your mother, only smiled at her as you left home for bokuto. but ideas were already swimming in your mind. you wanted to be with him for as long as god would allow you. if bokuto hadn't realized your feelings for him yet, you were going to take matters into your own hands.

which was how you found yourself on the school rooftop on the day of his birthday. today, you were going to confess. you spent weeks planning the event, even asking akaashi for help. you needed the younger boy to ask the coach to excuse bokuto in training and luckily, the coach agreed.

bokuto was confused as to why he was being excused, but only got an instruction from akaashi to go to the rooftop. so with hesitant steps, he went upstairs. when he got to the top floor, bokuto knocked on the door before opening it, revealing a surprised you as laid out the drinks and homemade food on the picnic blanket.

'what is going on here?' he arrived too soon for your liking and you were flustered. you hadn't finished setting up the plates yet, haven't even set up the music on your phone. but bokuto stepped forward, 'is this...'

you jumped up, extending your arms around your head and shouted, 'happy birthday, bokuto!' he stood still for a minute, digesting what was happening then he was walking towards you and scooping you up on your feet in an embrace.

the two of you laughed as he twirled you around, 'bokuto! stop, i'm gonna get dizzy!' when he put you down, he looked at you affectionately, 'thank you so much for this! you are the best!' and without missing a beat, you said, 'i love you, bokuto.'

you saw as his eyes grew wide, stepping a few feet away from you and you dreaded that he was going to reject you. he was walking in circles now and you were getting anxious for the lack of reply. so you went to him, grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him in tracks. 'did you hear what i said?'

he nodded, but still kept silent. you continued, 'well, are you just going to ignore that?' you were unfair, bokuto thought. he pouted and looked down to avoid your gaze, 'but i wanted to be the one to say it first.' now it was your turn to be shocked, and before you knew it you were moving closer to give him his gift.

your hands on his cheeks and the touch of your lips on his caught bokuto by surprise. it took him a while to register it but here you were, the love of his life, kissing him. seconds passed and he was kissing you back, he put his hands on your waist, pulling you closer and deepening the kiss. he moved one hand to caress your cheek lovingly.

when he pulled away, he gave you a peck on the forehead. smirking, he declared, 'be my girlfriend?'

you wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to kiss his nose, 'i have been waiting for you to say that.' this time he blushed, hiding his face in the crook of your neck and he thought about what did he do to deserve you.

'this is the best birthday ever.'

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu one shot #haikyuucreations #bokuto x reader #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu x you #hq x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #haikyuu fics #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fluff #bokuto fluff #bokuto scenarios #for birthday boy bokuto!

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milfgyuu · 4 years ago

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PLEASE READ: Formerly Jinyoungsir & Bubblebeom. All stories marked with [M] contain explicit 18+ sexual content. ♥︎ I am not currently creating any new content for MX at this time 7/6/22♥︎

Group Series →

‘Bubbles’ M.List [M] [OT7 Series Master List]

Sohn Hyunwoo (shownu) →

Stories...

If you can’t sleep, we could have sex [request, fluff, humor] playing cat & mouse with your best friend gets fun.

I’m scared so you hold my hand [request, fluff] sometimes losing is ok if it earns you shownu’s affection.

Multi-Chapter Stories...

Proposition [M] One | Two | Three [completed series; smut] your husband invites hoseok to your hotel room after a company dinner and things get interesting.

Scenarios/Misc...

2:13pm [timestamp;fluff]

Lee Hoseok (wonho) →

Stories...

Two Types [fluff, strangers] your date is going terribly when a handsome stranger catches on and saves you from it.

Multi-Chapter Stories...

Proposition [M] One | Two | Three [completed series; smut] your husband invites hoseok to your hotel room after a company dinner and things get interesting.

Lee Minhyuk →

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Still Hot [married/parent!au, fluff] your husband comes home from the skate park with your son and a bruised ego.

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I just like proving you wrong [romance] you and kihyun head out to the old lake house where you spent your summers growing up…if you remember how to get there.

Yours Forever [sequel; romance] your wedding day is something out of a fairytale but it would be nothing without the man at the other end of the aisle.

Chae Hyungwon →

Stories...

None of your business [humor, f2l] your brother’s best friend accidentally admits he’s in love with you.

Im Changkyun →

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How is my wife more badass than me? [mafia!au, humor] you’re on a mission and he’s a little distracting.

Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed? [f2l, humor] weird goldie locks roleplay where you come home to find your friend changkyun sleeping in your bed.

No. 11 Secret Relationship [angst, romance] another argument about hiding your relationship & resolution.

Size Matters? [fluff, humor] changkyun is stressing about his tiny new bodyguard until he finds out she is both very cute and absolutely terrifying.

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Fake Text #1 [spicy humor]

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♥︎ | Main M.List | Updated 10/02/22 ♥︎

→ Please do NOT copy, repost, or translate, any of my works here on tumblr or on any other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, Milfgyuu, 2019. ©️

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bettertomorrows-ao3 · 4 years ago

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Are You My Mother?

Ellie is frantic. Dina is amused. JJ has some questions.

JJ stays still in Ellie’s arms and his teeny voice is muffled when he says, “Max said you’re not my real mom so we’re not a real family and that you only fake love me.”

Tags: Post-Game, Family Fluff Rating: Teen for language

EllieDina Week // Day 4 // FAMILY

---

It’s almost sundown when Ellie gets a visitor at work.

Her office is a medium-sized shack located near the stables of the main gate, a perfect place to house all the paperwork she needs in order to facilitate her new role as the patrol manager. Ellie had originally argued with Maria that the chore didn’t even exist, that it seemed like a feeble arrangement to give her a task somewhat similar to what she was used to just so she could still feel useful around town.

Maria admitted to some truth to Ellie’s point, but she also insisted that she would love for Ellie to start learning to ropes of leading the town. There was a buried emphasis in her request that suggested Maria only trusted Ellie to be the one to succeed her role in the future. That Ellie was already deeply embedded in the tangled mess of a family the Miller brothers left them with—and implication was what led Ellie to accept the job on the spot.

Managing patrol rotations is not the laid-back kind of job Ellie thought it would be.

It’s far more stressful than what Maria initially described it would be, but it’s a task that keeps her on her toes on a daily basis. It was hard to believe it at first, but rescheduling patrol rotations sometimes felt like hugging an exploding bloater. Not to mention how balancing patrollers with the right partners oftentimes resembled the act of gathering sheep into a barn. One wrong move, and a stray could lead the pack in the wrong direction.

Jackson’s townsfolk always knew she would have the job in the future, anyway. There was a tacit understanding that regardless of the complications of their familial relations, Maria’s niece would one day take over the duty of leading Jackson. It was never a question of whether it would ever happen, but more of when Ellie would feel comfortable to take on these responsibilities.

It came as a surprise to those who personally knew her—that Ellie would start making her way up before she was even in her thirties. Most of them thought they would have to wrench a 100-year-old Ellie away from patrolling duties, so to have her willingly take a job inside Jackson’s walls was a bit unnerving.

The desk job isn’t as exciting, but it’s definitely enough work to keep her busy throughout the week. Her favourite part of the job was toward the end of the day. When her last task was to wait for the afternoon patrols to come back home, and she spent the time quietly drafting ways to adjust routes for possible expansions to the town. Nothing felt better than to wrap up a workday with a glint of hope for a better future for her son.

Ellie is knee deep in concentration, head down studying a map and ready to sketch out a new patrol route when a knock on the door breaks her focus. It’s Andres, Dina’s new apprentice at the electric shop, a gangly young man whose family recently moved to Jackson. His presence immediately makes Ellie panic. They’ve only met three times since Dina hired him, and their interactions have been cordial at best. So, what else could warrant his appearance at her office at the end of the day if it weren’t for something urgent?

“Hey, uh… Ellie. A-are you busy?” he croaks out, Ellie can tell he’s nervous, but what for she’s not sure yet.

“Andres, right?” she asks hoping to calm his nerves even though she knows exactly who he is, “what’s up?”

“D-dina sent me t-to tell you to please… go to her house as soon as pos-possible once you’re finished with work,” Andres stutters out, making Ellie all the more concerned.

Ellie stands up from her desk and promptly grabs her coat from the chair, “did something happen? Is she hurt? Is JJ okay?”

She tries to calm herself enough to hear a response from him. Whatever it was must have not been too terrible, because if something dire had indeed happened to her family, there is no way Maria would have sent this semi-stranger to send the news.

“Oh! I don’t—um…” the young man stutters and brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck, “she didn’t say. I’m just a messenger.”

With her jacket half worn on her back, Ellie looks down to the scattered papers on the desk and then to the clock on the wall. She only had 30 minutes left before the last patrol shift returned and reported back to her. Ellie was not one to ever leave her post early, but she was unfortunately not immune to whatever nervous energy Andres passed on to her.

The whole situation was terrifyingly curious, and she had to get to her family to find out what was happening. Ellie scribbles a note on a torn piece of paper, neatly folds it, and hands it to noticeably anxious Andres.

“Since you’re a messenger and all… can you quickly send this to Maria for me, please?”

Ellie tries not to sprint to Dina’s house. She doesn’t want to alarm anybody in town, so she ends up speed walking instead. In hindsight, sprinting would have probably looked way less ridiculous than the quick shimmy her hips do when she makes herself walk fast.

The thought comes too late. Dina’s house is already in view when she decides to run the rest of the way.

Ellie pauses on the porch to catch her breath. She knocks on the door twice before she curses to herself. Why is she knocking when she has a key to the door? Ellie digs in her pockets for the familiar shape of the metal when the door swings wide open.

“Did you forget your key again?”

Ellie looks up and releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Dina is leaning on the door frame with a smirk on her face. She looks perfect as ever and all Ellie can’t stop herself from hugging her right away. Relief floods her senses when she feels Dina reciprocate, her arms wrapping tightly around Ellie’s waist.

“Are you fine? Like, you’re not hurt?” Ellie whispers into her ear.

“Yes? Is this a trick question? Why?” Dina is puzzled by Ellie’s panic-stricken face and leads them into the house.

“Andres said I had to come home, and he was all nervous and twitchy, so I freaked out and kind of ran here,” Ellie admits before adding, “wait, what about JJ? Is he safe too?”

Dina eyes Ellie as if gauging to see if she was being pranked. When she realizes that Ellie was serious, she laughs and gives Ellie a quick peck on the lips.

“JJ’s upstairs doing homework, but babe, you do know Andres has a speech impediment, right? Like, it’s a medical condition, it doesn’t mean he’s actually nervous,” Dina chuckles when Ellie finally realizes that there was actually nothing to worry about.

“A speech impediment? You mean to say I got nervous for nothing?” Ellie takes a step back to shrug her jacket off her shoulders.

“Mhm,” Dina agrees, and takes Ellie’s jacket to hang on the coat rack by the door.

“So, what was so urgent you sent you lackey out to fetch me?” Ellie tilts her head to the side, still so apparently confused by everything.

“Well… your son—” Dina starts but Ellie interrupts her.

“Oh no. What did he do?”

Dina points up to the stairs, “your son picked a fight at school today.”

Ellie’s eyes bulge out in amazement, “Potato picked a fight? But… he’s only five years old!”

“That’s what I thought!” Dina shrugs, “but then I remembered who his parents are and then I realized that the apple really didn’t fall far from the tree.”

“Holy fuck, you didn’t not just say that,” Ellie laughs.

“I literally just sounded like my mother,” Dina groans.

“Seriously, though,” Ellie asks, treading carefully but not without a smirk on her lips, “why did he get in a fight in the first place? Because questionable parents aside, he’s practically an angel!”

Dina sighs and leans forward letting Ellie hold her once again, “he said he doesn’t want to talk about it. Only that he wants to ask you something important.”

Ellie glances up toward the stairs wondering what their son could possibly want to ask her. She wonders what kind of demon would have likely possessed their sweet little spud to attack another student at school. The worst part is not even knowing how to explain to their son about not resorting to violence when the world they lived in required such actions to survive.

Despite the severity of the situation, Ellie couldn’t help but to joke, “if he wants to learn how to punch better, he’s asking for the wrong mom.”

The comment earns Ellie a light jab to the chest from Dina.

“Oof. Way to prove my point, babe.” Ellie shakes her head and grabs Dina’s hand to lead them upstairs to JJ’s room.

They share a look understanding that whatever JJ wanted to talk to Ellie about, they all had to do it as a family.

Ellie enters JJ’s room first. They find him slumped and sitting cross-legged on his big boy bed. Ollie is on his lap, and they seemed to have interrupted a silent conversation between JJ and his beloved toy. Ellie slowly makes her way to sit on the edge of the bed leaving Dina behind to lean on the doorframe. Their family was complete, but they still wished to respect JJ’s request to only talk to Ellie.

“Hey, bud. I heard what happened at school today. Wanna tell me about it?”

JJ sinks further into his bed and fiddles with Ollie in his hands. He hesitantly looks up and whispers, “do you love me?”

The question baffles Ellie and feels her heart breaking at sound of doubt in her son’s voice. She is more than a little concerned that her son somehow thinks there is a universe in which she could possibly stop loving him. She immediately scoots closer to him and wraps him tightly in her arms.

“Of course, I do, Spud. What makes you think I don’t?” Ellie eyes Dina by the door making a speechless plea for some comfort on her part. Dina only nods her head, assuring her that she is doing all right.

JJ stays still in Ellie’s arms and his teeny voice is muffled when he says, “Max said you’re not my real mom so we’re not a real family and that you only fake love me.”

“What? Who the fuck is Max?” Ellie growls making JJ flinch under her grasp.

Ellie has a sudden urge to hunt down this Max to teach a lesson about not meddling in other people’s business. Dina loudly clears her throat as if to remind Ellie that she is veering off track. Ellie has to remind herself that children can be unconsciously callous and that whoever this kid was probably didn’t mean any harm, and most likely doesn’t know any better.

“Are you angry with me?” JJ asks her and slithers out of her arms.

Ellie is reluctant to let him go and only does when Dina approaches them to sit next to her.

“Mom is not angry with you, Tater,” Dina speaks up, “she has her thinking face on.”

JJ pokes Ellie on the cheek as testing to see if his mom would notice. Ellie fails to hide the smile that emerges on her face. She kisses JJ on the head and comes up with a way to explain the dynamics of their family to a five-year-old.

“Do you remember the book I read to you the other night about the lost bird asking the dog if she’s his mother?” he nods and she continues, “well, our family is kind of like that. You have momma, and you have me. And just because we don’t look alike, it doesn’t mean that I’m any less your mom than momma is to you. Do you understand?”

The truth is that the allusion to the old story isn’t quite fitting to their situation, but Ellie hopes that it is basic enough for their little boy to understand the way their family works.

“You’re the dog and me and momma are birds, and you love us anyway?” he asks so innocently she and Dina can’t help but to laugh.

“I love you always no matter what other people say, Spud,” Ellie reassures him, and she is relieved to see him accepting her explanation, “we’re our own little family and I will always be your mom, even when you don’t see me.”

“What about momma? Do you love momma too?”

Dina tilts her head at Ellie, mimicking the hopeful look in their son’s eyes.

“Your momma owns my heart, Tater.”

Ellie feels Dina’s hand grasp one of hers, their fingers intertwined. JJ sees the contact, jumps on them, and nuzzles his little head in between theirs. The moment was so tender they almost forgot what had started the discussion in the first place.

Until JJ spoke again, “if we’re always a family, how come you don’t live with us?”

And damn, their son really did have some hard-hitting questions that night.

#elliedina week #ellie x dina #fanfiction #better late than never eh?#super late but heck why not

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heliads · 4 years ago

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Love Letters

In a world where you can anonymously send letters to your soulmate, a sudden lack of response could mean anything from your soulmate not wanting to hear from you or them even being dead. Your soulmate isn’t responding- surely that has nothing to do with the events of the Dread Doctors?

masterlist

You flop down on your bed, arms folded across your chest. Why does it have to be so exhausting to live in Beacon Hills? You’re no supernatural, and have no intention of ever becoming one, but you still find yourself wrapped up in every trouble that comes to your hometown. Next to you, Lydia looks up with a sympathetic smile.

“Research getting to you?” You nod, looking at the piles of mythology books stacked around your room. “You could say that. It feels like I’ve read every book about fantasy monsters in existence, but yet I’ve barely found a single thing on the Dread Doctors or anything remotely like them. Sometimes I wish I was a banshee too, so I could just open any book and find what I’m looking for.” Lydia rolls her eyes. “Y/N, we both know that’s not how being a banshee works.” You groan and roll onto your stomach, picking up the next book on your stack. “Then how did you manage to find a book talking about them on your first go? I can’t find anything!” Lydia smirks. “I had a lucky guess. Now come on, we only have a few more to go and then we’ll be done.”

You heave a dramatic sigh and open the heavy tome in front of you, idly flipping through the pages to find the demonic Dread Doctors that you’re looking for. Instead, you come across a letter tucked in between two chapters of the book. You pluck the letter from the pages, examining it to find that it’s just like all the others that have come before it. It’s the same worn lined paper, encased in the same plain but slightly warped envelope. A single glance reveals that the same slanted handwriting is scrawled across the page. You turn it over in your hands, basking in the feeling of warmth that spreads across you at the sight of it.

Across the room, Lydia looks up at you, noticing the envelope in your hands. “Another letter from your soulmate?” You nod, giving it one last treasured glance before putting it delicately beside you and turning back to your book. You’ll open it later, once you are alone and can give it all the attention it deserves.

You’re not sure quite when you first started receiving letters from your soulmate, but you do remember the thrill it brought you to see the first one arrive. You’d seen your parents send each other letters when they were too busy to call before, so this wasn’t your first time witnessing a soulmate’s letter arrive. Your mother would be helping you with homework when a letter would suddenly appear in front of her, or your father would be sitting at his desk and turn over a paper to find an envelope tucked into the stack of documents he was reviewing. All people are given soulmates, and all soulmates will be able to write to each other, it just depends on how willing your soulmate is to hear from you.

There are rules to the letter-writing, of course. You cannot force your soulmate to write to you, and it’s best if you alternate who sends letters. Your aunt always told the story of some girl who was so excited about her soulmate that she sent him ten letters a day, and was surprised when her soulmate suddenly forgot to write. All you have to do to send the letter is simply finish writing it, hold it in your hand and think of your soulmate, and it will disappear from sight and reappear wherever your soulmate will find it. And, the most infuriating rule of all- no private information can be shared through the letters. No names (first or last), no addresses, no clues to help your soulmate find you. If you try to include such hints to your identity, they are simply blurred out when your letter is transferred to your soulmate. They will be unblurred once you meet your soulmate, because by then your soulmate will know who you are and they won’t have to rely on you simply telling them your name to find you.

So, you and your soulmate have given up trying to include any personal information- what’s the point when it’ll just be erased? They say it’s better that way, that if it’s too easy to find your better half you won’t experience the longing and slow love that should precede that first meeting, but you’re not sure if you believe that. Wouldn’t it be better to just know who they are?

Thus, the letter in front of you does not bear any address or signatures. Just a phrase, penned across the front of the envelope: To my soulmate. That’s all it takes.

Once you’re finally done paging through the mythology books with Lydia, she bids you goodbye and you can finally turn to the letter that’s been a silent distraction beside you all night. Eagerly, you tear open the envelope and unfold the paper inside. The letter is one page long, and full of everything from accounts of his day to his plans for the future. At the bottom, he’s simply signed the letter: Love, me.

You savor his words for a few seconds longer, then turn to your desk and gently place the letter in a box sitting inside one of the drawers. You’ve kept all his letters, and every now and then, when you feel most distressed, you take them out and read them, one by one, until your fears blend away into the background and are replaced by the light heat in your cheeks. You won’t write another letter until tomorrow- it’s become a tradition that you and your soulmate will alternate days sending letters- but when you go to sleep that night, your head is spinning thinking of everything you want to say to him.

You sit down next to Lydia at Scott’s kitchen table, too tired to say anything longer than “So we did it.” You’re still overwhelmed by everything that just happened- the Dread Doctors are finally gone from Beacon Hills, along with them their accomplice Theo Raeken, and that ghastly Beast that nearly killed everyone you hold dear. At this point, you’re barely able to keep your eyes open, but Scott has still insisted on holding a pack meeting to make sure everyone’s alright and that the threats are finally over, for the time being. It feels like danger will never be truly gone from Beacon Hills.

As you hear the low voices of Scott’s pack around you, you stare listlessly at your hands. It’s a late night, and you’ve been expecting a letter from your soulmate for a while. Usually, he sends them some time at night, and it’s his day to write. Yet your hands are empty, and there are no letters in sight. Whatever, he’s probably busy. It’s not like you’ve never accidentally skipped writing on your day- there have been times when you’ve been too busy fighting with Scott and his pack to send your soulmate a letter. Although the chances of him having the same excuse are pretty low, you decide to stop worrying about it. The letter will probably come tomorrow, anyways.

But it doesn’t. In fact, no letter arrives all day. Or the next. After four days, you decide to write your soulmate a brief note, just asking if your last letter arrived or not. Your soulmate has never missed a day before, even by a few hours, so this sudden development is more than a little surprising. Finally, a week after you sent your note to your soulmate and still no response, you decide to go to Lydia for help.

“He hasn’t responded in more than a week. What if he’s hurt? What if something happened? You’re pacing in front of Lydia, feeling the stress wash over you in waves. “He’s never gone a day without sending a letter, why is this happening?” Lydia steps in front of you, stopping your panicked outburst. “I know you’re worried, but let’s be calm about this. Maybe you should reread some of his old letters? You can check and see if he seems stressed or in danger, or if he doesn’t want to write anymore.”

You accept Lydia’s advice and pull out the box of your soulmate’s letters. You start flipping through them, looking for any signs of trouble. To Lydia’s credit, your soulmate does seem a little tense in the past few letters, and he keeps mentioning how stressed he was even in the middle of summer vacation. You’re checking to see how far back he mentioned his fears in his letters, when you come across one envelope from about six months back. You open it, scanning the inked lines when your breath catches in your throat.

Lydia looks over at you in concern. “What’s wrong, Y/N?” All you can do is hold up the letter to her, displaying your soulmate’s first initial and his hometown. Lydia’s eyes go wide. “That’s personal information. How can you see it?” You shake your head, still shocked. “I must have met him in the last few months. The letter wasn’t sent that long ago, and I certainly couldn’t read that when he sent it. The thing is,” you rummage through some more letters to prove your point, “I haven’t gone anywhere outside of Beacon Hills, and people don’t come here for vacation. He also mentioned moving to a small town around the beginning of the school year. That means he must have been here recently.”

Another realization hits you, and you feel your heart sink. “Lydia, what if he was killed by the Beast or the Dread Doctors? With everything going on, there’s a pretty big chance of it. Think about it- he was in Beacon Hills during the attacks, he’s now not responding to me. Oh, Lydia, I think he’s dead.” Lydia puts her hands on your shoulders and forces you to look at her. “Listen to me, Y/N. You don’t know if he’s dead. So, let’s assume he’s not. Right now, we do have a good amount of information, so we can probably track him down. Focus your energy on finding your soulmate, not on worrying about every negative thing that could have happened to him.

You can’t bear to think of your soulmate being dead, and so you throw yourself into finding every last clue about your soulmate’s identity. In his letters, he mentioned being able to hear his parents cooking dinner right next to his bedroom, so the house must have a kitchen right near the stairs. Stiles looks into this and finds a list of houses with that floor plan, leaving you to wonder how it’s possible for Stiles to be so creepily good at research. Your soulmate also said that he’d been learning how to skateboard, so through many hours of careful observation at school, you compile a list of every student known to have a skateboard. He talks about having friends on the lacrosse team? Scott and Liam can tell you about anyone who hangs around after lacrosse practice.

Finally, you’ve got a list of about ten people. You’ve taped it to your mirror just like Stiles during his investigations, and you stare at it with Lydia.

“I still don’t know who it could be. Most of these people don’t share all the characteristics mentioned in the letters.” Lydia says, looking in turn at each person on the list. You sigh softly. “Actually, I think I know. There’s only one person on here that could be him. Besides, he has a pretty good reason for not being here.” Lydia looks at you, the truth starting to dawn on her. “You don’t mean-” You nod. “Yes. Theo Raeken is my soulmate.”

Lydia groans. “Couldn’t you have someone nice instead? In fact, are you sure it’s him and not someone else? I mean, Thomas and Tyler both haven’t been seen in a while, it could be one of them instead.” You tilt your head to the side, considering the names on the list. “I’m afraid not. Thomas moved schools and I saw Tyler the other day. Besides, I’ve seen Theo’s handwriting from when he still went to our school and it’s basically the same. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.” Lydia looks at you pointedly. “You didn’t think of it because you have no proof that he’s your soulmate other than the fact that their handwriting kind of looks similar.” You smile at that. “Maybe so, but he’s the closest of anyone.” You grab your phone off of a nearby table and stick it in your pocket. “I have to find out if it’s really him. I’m going to go visit his house and see if any of my letters are there.” At Lydia’s sigh, you look back at her. “I have to know if he’s really my soulmate. I have to.”

It’s a fine, sunny afternoon when you reach Theo’s house. His parents aren’t there, but you’re able to get in through an unlocked side door. You creep up the stairs (note the kitchen exactly where it’s supposed to be!) and into the closest bedroom. You scan the desk and chairs, looking for some sign that he’s your soulmate. Finally, you find what you’ve been looking for- a stack of letters hidden in a corner of the room. You pick up the top one, opening it to find your own handwriting scrawled across it. “So it’s true,” you say to yourself, holding the letter tight, “my soulmate is dead.” Suddenly, a voice behind you breaks the silence.

“Not quite.”

You whirl around to see Theo, alive and well, standing behind you. You can barely stammer out a few sentences. “You- how did you- you were-” “In Hell?” You nod, still dumbfounded. “Liam and Hayden let me out. They needed my help for some plan of theirs to defeat the Ghost Riders.” Theo pulls out a letter from his jacket pocket and holds it out to you. “I was going to just send it like usual, but I figured it would be easier to give it to you in person.” Your hands shaking, you take the letter from him. Sure enough, it’s the same envelope and letter as always, except this time your name is written across the front instead of just ‘My soulmate.”

You look back up at him, still confused. “How did you know you were my soulmate if you just got out of Hell?” Theo laughs at that. “It’s kind of funny, actually. I was just standing there, and then a few letters appeared in my hands. The second Liam saw them, he got this look in his eyes like he’d seen them before. He wasn’t going to tell me that you were my soulmate, something about the fact that I was a betraying killer and didn’t deserve to know, but Hayden told me. She said that you’d been searching for me for a while and that you should know I was alright.”

You turn the letter over in your hands, still somewhat surprised that it’s all true. You had long suspected that Theo was your soulmate- everything lined up and it would make sense that he disappeared- but seeing him in person and confirming the truth was still enough to make your head spin. “Why do you care?” Your voice, barely louder than a whisper, is still enough to make Theo flinch. “You tried to kill us, even me. Why does it matter now that I’m your soulmate?”

Theo’s voice comes slower now, and it seems as if his usual cocky confidence is starting to fade away. “When I came out of Hell, I knew I needed to do better, both by the pack and by you. I want a fresh start, Y/N, and I want to be with you. I’m sorry for what I did, I just need to know that you’ll still want me as your soulmate.” He looks up at you, and you find yourself startled by the pain in his eyes. You’ve seen him upset before, back when he was still trying to win over Scott and Stiles, but this feels more genuine. “Of course I want you, Theo. You’re my soulmate. I wouldn’t want anyone else.” Theo’s smile is sunshine on a cloudy day, bright enough to scare away any possibility that he wasn’t telling the truth before. “I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” You share his smile, and can finally bask in the joy of finding your soulmate.

#theo raeken #theo raeken imagine #theo raeken x reader #theo raeken imagines #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf imagines #soulmates au

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pucksnsticksnhockeyboys · 5 years ago

Text

reputations

summary: you’re criminally good, and Matt can’t help but fall in love with you.

warnings: mentions of alcohol

word count: 3.7k

note from the writer: I really wrote this in one night, immediately after posting my last Matt fic. I might have a problem. lmk what you think!

part two

Matthew knew he was no angel. If it wasn’t the opposing players he pested on a daily basis, it was the media that told him so. Most of the time, he didn’t mind. Fights, penalties, and suspensions—he couldn’t help but agree that he was a pest on the ice. He knew he deserved some of the shit he got, but he was getting better and growing as a player.

But sometimes he wished he had a better reputation.

“Matt, your girlfriend is outside.” His brother’s voice interrupted his thoughts. Matt hated that he knew who Brady was talking about. Despite the fact that it had been seemingly forever since he was in an actual relationship, Brady’s tease made perfect sense to the entire Tkachuk family.

“Shut up.” Matt shot back, because he couldn’t argue, and he was too busy getting up off the couch and heading outside to listen to the jabs his brother was throwing at him. He was too far gone and had long since admitted that to himself.

The summer sun beat down on him the moment he stepped into the backyard, and he took a moment to squint his eyes to adjust before heading over to the fence separating his backyard from the one next door. Brady had been telling the truth, the one girl he couldn’t get off his mind since middle school was outside and the wide smile that grew on his face was one he couldn’t help.

You were as good as they came. Weekends spent volunteering at animal shelters, tutoring, helping the older couples in the neighborhood with yard work and other chores. He was pretty sure the moment he decided he wanted to marry you was when you had shown up to Taryn’s first varsity field hockey game with a giant sign saying something about how she would kill it just because you knew it would make her laugh.

Matt nearly tripped when he spotted you on the other side of the fence. You were suntanning in nothing more than a bikini, laying on a towel in the grass in your own backyard. For what seemed like the millionth time in his lifetime, Matt thanked whatever higher power that was up there that his family moved into the house next to yours all those years ago.

For a second, he stayed quiet, just admiring how good you looked. Sunglasses were perched on your nose as you laid on your back, arms tucked behind your head. Your music was playing softly from the speaker laying in the grass a few feet away and you were humming along quietly. He couldn’t stop the smile that grew on his face as he studied you, resting his forearms along the top of the fence with his chin tucked on top of his hands. He knew he needed to make his presence known, figuring he wouldn’t be able to explain why he kept quiet and watched you tan without sounding like a creep.

“I’ve been home for two days and you haven’t come see me yet?” He teased, his grin growing two sizes when he spotted how you lit up at the sound of his voice. Your smile was infectious, and it was the only thing keeping his gaze north of your chest as you sat up on the towel.

“Matty!” You cheered, pushing your sunglasses to the top of your head. You were the only person that Matt allowed to call him that, and he was certain that if his teammates ever found that out they would never let him hear the end of it. You stood up, making your way towards Matt and he could feel his heart pounding faster in his chest as you got closer. It was a miracle you hadn’t managed to kill him yet.

“How’ve you been?” Matt found himself asking, though the question felt a little pointless. He knew how you had been, you texted daily and even the stuff you didn’t tell him—which was a rare occurrence—he found out from his siblings.

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old.” You said boredly, waving a hand dismissively. Matt knew that wasn’t true, he could see the smile you were suppressing. Plus, all of his conversations with you as of late had been about one thing.

“Congrats on graduating, by the way.” Matt wasn’t sure it was possible, but your smile widened as he spoke. You looked happy, but that didn’t stop the feeling of guilt that was bubbling inside him. “Sorry I couldn’t make it.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You squeezed his forearm from where it was resting on the fence, and it took all of Matt’s willpower to not melt under your touch. “You were busy chasing the cup, and I know for a fact that you’ll win it for me next time.”

And then you jokingly winked at him, and suddenly Matt forgot how to breathe. He knew you were teasing, but the fact of the matter was that he knew if he was going to win the cup for anyone besides his parents, it was you.

“And besides, you’re coming to my grad party, right? I need someone there to save me from my relatives asking about where I’m working in the fall.” You continued, and for the second time in ten minutes Matt had been interrupted from his thoughts.

“You don’t already have seven jobs lined up?” Matt teased you. For as long as he could remember, you were always ten steps ahead of everyone. He distinctly remembers you stressing out at eleven years old because you got a seventy-five on a test and thought it would go on your permanent record and you wouldn’t get accepted into college.

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes, nudging his arm playfully as the both of you chuckled. Matt felt a bit repetitive, thinking about how beautiful you were. He was sure he looked like a lovestruck idiot, but he couldn’t help himself. His self-control was low to begin with, but throw you into the mix and he was absolutely done for. “I’ve applied to a few places, interviewed at some. I’ve got my eye on one place, though.”

“Any places I know?” Matt was a little caught off guard since he hadn’t heard about you applying. He knew you were looking into some places, some in St. Louis and some out of state, but he didn’t realize you started taking the next step. A nervous look flashed in your eyes, and Matt wondered what could have prompted it, but as soon as it was there, it was gone, and you were back to smiling brightly at him.

“And ruin the surprise when I finally land one of the jobs? Not a chance, Hotshot.” You teased with a shake of your head. Matt knew you like the back of his hand. He knew how you liked your coffee and that you hated when he got into fights. He knew that you were a romantic and that you were a little self conscious about your laugh because when you were fifteen and Danny Baker from three streets up told you he thought it was weird. That was the closest he ever got to punching someone off of the ice—and sometimes he still thought about giving the guy a piece of his mind.

And he knew that the nickname ‘Hotshot’ was your way of trying to deflect, and he knew enough to drop the subject. Not that he had a choice, really, because your phone started buzzing from where you left it on your towel. When you bent down to pick it up, he busied himself by admiring the flowers he knew you helped your mom plant instead of blatantly checking out your ass.

“Hey. Matty, I’ve got to go. Mrs. Henderson asked if I could help her with the bake sale for her son’s soccer team.” You spoke up after checking your phone. Matt couldn’t help the way his heart flipped at the fact that you were still volunteering for families around the neighborhood. The only time he could remember actually volunteering, not including Flames events, was when he needed to fill his high school requirement to graduate.

God, you were too good for him.

“Yeah, I’ll see you at the party tomorrow.” He waved as you retreated into your house. He watched as you left, only pushing off the fence and heading back into his own once you shut your back door. He made his way into the kitchen, finding his whole family already in there and looking at him with smug grins. Matt just knew they had been watching his entire interaction with you out of the kitchen window.

Brady was the first to speak up, making obnoxious kissing noises while Taryn started saying your name in increasingly higher pitched voices trying to mock how gone he was for you. He rolled his eyes at his sister, but that didn’t stop him from putting Brady into a headlock.

“If you boys break something…” His mom trailed off, giving her boys a pointed look over the glass of water she was sipping on. The empty threat was enough to get Matt to let go of his brother, but not before messing up his hair for that extra bit of pettiness.

“Leave Matt alone, he’s in love.” His dad teased, looking much too proud of himself at his comment for Matt’s liking. He groaned, dropping his back to further prove his annoyance before he grabbed a drink out of the fridge and left the room.

He still couldn’t argue his family’s comments.

Matt didn’t see you again until it was time to head over for your graduation party, and it took everything in him to not stop dead in his tracks when he spotted you across the yard. You were talking to a few of your extended family members, he was sure he had met them once or twice over the years, and you looked effortlessly stunning. You were wearing a new sundress, he was certain of that because if you had worn it before he would have remembered, what with the way it made your legs look, especially paired with what he knew were your favorite pair of wedges.

Brady knocked into his shoulder, sending him a smirk before slipping off to find a drink. Matt rolled his eyes at his brother, letting his attention fall back to you. His breath hitched as you turned to face him, and he wondered if you felt the weight of his stare. He didn’t have much time to ponder, though, because he recognized the look in your eyes. It was the one that told him those were the family members you told him you’d need rescuing from.

He crossed the lawn quickly, smiling warmly at your mom when she called his name and waved. He’d greet her properly later, you were his current priority. You were his priority all the time, if he was being honest with himself.

“Hey, Matty.” You smiled and as soon as he got close enough your arm slid around his back. He copied your action, his hand settling a respectable distance up on your waist. Before he could stop himself, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, even though he probably shouldn’t be so blatant in his affection in front of distant family.

“Is this a boyfriend?” Your—great aunt?—questioned. Matt felt his face flush at the idea, he spent the better part of his adolescence imagining what it would be like to call you his. But he never could get himself to make a move. Too nervous to lose you and too worried about what moving away would do to your relationship—if it even got that far.

And then there was the problem of his reputation.

He had grown up watching you do all these amazing things for your education and to help other people. You always had a smile on your face and cried for an hour at the ending of Marley and Me. You even volunteered to help move Brady to Boston when he left to go play hockey there.

He pushed around six ounces of vulcanized rubber on ice. In his mind, he didn’t measure up to you in the slightest. As much as he wanted you, he felt as if he didn’t deserve you.

“No, this is just Matt, he lives next door.” You explained sweetly and Matt forced a smile on his face as he shook hands with your relatives. He hated how terrible your words sounded to his ears, how he was ‘Just Matt’ to you.

“Hey, Taryn said she needs to talk to you, it’s urgent.” Matt lied after a few moments of watching you squirm under the interrogation your relatives were putting you through. From the mischievous look in your eyes he could tell you knew what he was doing. You politely told your relatives that you would see them later, and Matt’s heart jumped in his chest as you slipped your hand into his to pull him away.

“Thank you.” You said to him under your breath, giving his hand a squeeze before dropping it as you reached the drink coolers. Matt grinned at you, watching as you pulled out two beers for the both of you. “They hit me with questions about my love life, job prospects, and whether or not I’ll be moving out of my parent’s house before you arrived.”

“Sorry I didn’t get there sooner.” Matt teased, taking a sip out of his bottle while watching you shudder playfully. He tried to ignore the green monster that settled in his stomach at the thought of you having a love life, no matter how selfish it sounded. Instead, he focused on the way you smiled at him, and how warmly you interacted with his mom when she came over to give you a celebratory hug.

Seeing you laughing with his mom was doing nothing for the feelings he had harboured for you.

By the time darkness started to settle on the party, the majority of the guests had left. Besides your parents, him and his siblings, and a few of your cousins that were spending the night, your backyard was empty. Your dad had started a campfire so everyone could make s’mores, and you seemed to think it was the best part of the day. You were probably feeling the effects of the beers you had been sipping on, though you only had one or two, and tried to feed Matt a s’more, giggling uncontrollably when you got marshmallow in the scruff of his beard.

He just about died when you flicked your finger across his chin to collect the marshmallow, absentmindedly licking it off as you laughed at something Taryn said. His gaze zeroed in on your finger, and the fact that you had no idea the effect that you had on him was dizzying.

“Get a room.” Brady groaned, though he had been sitting next to Matt and spoke low enough that the parents sitting on the opposite side of the fire didn’t hear. Matt was also lucky that you didn’t hear, distracted by your phone ringing. He glanced at the screen out of habit and a little bit of nosiness, seeing that it was a number you didn’t have saved to your contacts before you jumped to your feet and retreated inside to take the call.

If he had been looking a little closer, he would have recognized that the number had an area code for Calgary.

You had been gone for a few minutes and Matt was starting to get restless. Your mom came out of the house and handed him two popsicles, one for him and one for you, so he figured you were coming back soon.

You did, and you were wearing a wide grin that made him curious. You didn’t say anything, instead you took one of the popsicles and slipped your hand into his now free one, tugging lightly to signal for him to stand up. Once more, you led him across the lawn, only this time you went around the house to the front yard, away from the prying eyes of both your families.

“What’s up?” Matt questioned as soon as you came to a stop in front of him. You were grinning up at him, and he could tell from the look in your eyes that you had news to share.

“I got a job. My top choice one, actually.” You stated as if it was something boring, like the weather. Matt beamed at you, the feeling of pride he had in you coming to the surface the same way it did whenever you accomplished something you wanted.

He wrapped you in his arms almost instantly, careful not to knock your popsicle out of your hand or get his in your hair. He held you tight to his chest, never wanting to let you go.

“Where is it?” He asked after letting you go. Your smile grew wider as he looked at you, and he raised a brow as you hesitated. The longer you stayed quiet, the more he started to panic. He knew it was selfish, but he didn’t want you to leave St. Louis. The best part of coming home during breaks or playing the Blues on their ice was the fact that he would get to see you.

“Calgary. Surprise?” You chuckled nervously, but Matt felt like he had just been told the best news. After years apart for college and hockey, you finally would be close to him again. He was ecstatic, and couldn’t help himself before pulling you into another hug,

“Surprise is right.” He teased as soon as he moved back, though he couldn’t get himself to go far. He was practically buzzing with excitement and the closer he was to you the better he felt. You were grinning, shifting from foot to foot and that simple action told Matt that you were anxious about something.

“But I have one more thing to share.” You said, and that worried Matt once more because he could hear the nervousness in your tone. Matt nodded, unable to get himself to form words in response and instead let his mind run wild with all the ideas about what it could be. “Matt, I, uh, well, I’ve had feelings for you for a while, and I think you feel the same, well at least I hope you do, and I was kind of hoping that we could start something now that we’ll be living in the same place.”

Matt felt like passing out. Out of all the dozens of things you could have said, that was not one of them. He watched, wordlessly, as you licked the popsicle out of nerves and the need to busy yourself somehow while he stayed quiet after your confession. That seemed to spur him on, though, because he used his free hand to cup your jaw as his lips landed on yours.

You tasted like grape popsicle and chocolate, and though it was an odd combination he decided it was the best thing he’d ever had. He briefly registered that the popsicles slipped from both your hands as you gripped each other, and he knew that he’d have to pick them up after because you had drilled into him the importance of keeping the Earth clean when you were in eighth grade and went through a sustainability kick.

It was that thought that had him stilling. He couldn’t do this to you, not when you were so good and not when he was in the press every other week for being the very opposite. You deserved better than him, a philanthropist that donated all their time and money to children’s hospitals—the charity he knew you volunteered at, at least three times a year.

You were too good for him.

“Is something wrong?” You questioned him, dropping from your tip-toes back to your flat feet, putting some distance between you and him. It wasn’t enough to defog Matt’s head but he was pretty sure that wouldn’t happen for weeks, not with the way his entire body felt on fire from just your one kiss.

“I can’t do this… I can’t do this to you.” Matt settled, though he hated the way he sounded so unsure of himself and he hated the very fact that he even had to say it. He hated that you felt the same way he did but he couldn’t do a thing about it because he had always put you before himself. But most of all, he hated how your face fell and your eyes started to get glassy.

“Do you not like me?” You questioned and if Matt wasn’t so defeated by the whole situation he would have laughed. He couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t like you, you plagued his thoughts on a daily basis and he had a framed photo of you and him from his first game in Calgary in his apartment that earned him so many chirps from his teammates. But you looked so proud of him, and you were wearing his jersey, so no matter what the boys said he kept it up—the photo was his most prized possession.

“No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all.” He told you, and somehow your face fell even more. Even when you were so clearly upset, the way your brows tugged together in confusion and the slight pout to your lips was devastatingly attractive to Matt.

“Then what is it?” Your question sounded so tired, so weak, that Matt wished he had never followed you out front and never put your friendship in the position it was. But it was too late now, he couldn’t back out now and he had to stick to his guns. He took in a shuddering breath, one hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before he said what he felt he had to.

“I want you to be happy, and you can’t be happy with me. I’m not good for you.”

#Matthew tkachuk #Matthew tkachuk imagine #Matthew tkachuk imagines #Matthew tkachuk x reader #calgary flames #calgary flames imagine #hockey #hockey imagine #nhl #NHL imagine

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make-me-imagine · 4 years ago

Text

This is a part two to this fic here

Premise: Greg and the reader go to the readers dreaded family Christmas dinner; Greg intends to prove that he can handle it; so that he can officially take the reader out on an actual date. (Date included)

Pairing: Greg Lestrade x Gen!Neutral Reader

Triggers: None Words: 1,455

Second Part Requested by: @panagiasikelia, @sharinkashaf, @jaskiershoe, @the-ducks-umbrella , and @wxitelxly

Stepping out of the car you looked at the decorated house; the Christmas lights twinkling on the outside porch, and the sound of conversation and Christmas music coming from within.

Greg came and stood next to you as he observed the house as well “Look’s cheery” he commented as he glanced at you, seeing the apprehension on your face. “Do you really think it will be that bad?”

You glanced over at him and sighed “I love my family, but they can be overbearing at times”

He nodded his head “Every family can be overbearing. And besides, being the new stranger at the table, I am sure there attention will be off of you and on to me.”

“Maybe. Or, we could avoid all of it and leave and say we got a flat” you smiled.

“No” he chuckled before grabbing your hand and dragging you to the front door.

The door swung open before you were even able to knock, your mother greeting both of you with enthusiasm and a smile; pulling the two of you inside.

After introductions and formal greetings; followed by small talk; you were all sat down at the dinner table. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you wondered how the night would go.

Greg, feeling the unease coming from you, patted your leg from underneath the table; seemingly to comfort you; which he did. You gave him a small smile as everyone began to eat.

Sat at the table was you, Greg, your parents, your aunt and uncle and two cousins. All of whom lived in a different area of the world. They came to visit at this time every year. They spent a large majority of the night talking about their recent travels. Your aunt commenting on the food that she cooked for the dinner; almost insisting she be congratulated on it.

But half way through dinner is when the focus shifted to the two of you, when your father finally spoke up “So, Greg. Isn’t there a rule in the force about dating your team members? Or is the reason Y/n never brought your relationship up because it’s still a secret?” your cousins let out small ‘oohs’ at this as your father smirked.

You and Greg both stopped, glancing at each other for a moment before Greg let out a dry and somewhat nervous chuckle “No sir, there is certain paperwork that can be filed after your...relationship is confirmed and accepted by our higher-ups.”

Your father nodded his head, seemingly accepting of the answer, but this lead into more questions from your cousins about various areas of your work, cases, how stressful it must be, and how it might strain a relationship.

“Actually-” you broke in “I think it is better to date someone in the field, it’s harder when you are with someone who doesn’t understand the stress of it.”

“Exactly” Greg agreed, smiling lightly at you.

“I still think you should have gone into the family business” your uncle commented.

Greg hesitated as he felt the shift in the room; he glanced at you, seeing how your face fell; looking at the others he saw that all of their expressions changed.

Your uncle looked at Greg “Don’t you think that family should be more important Greg? I mean, being a police officer is fine, but, our family business is very important as well, I think that Y/n would have been better off if they’d have joined in like they’re cousins. Quite disappointing really.”

Greg saw from the corner of his eyes, your knuckles whitened as your grip tightened on the napkin you were holding. He felt a sense of anger pulse through him momentarily.

Clearing his throat he made direct eye-contact with your uncle “But I think England as a whole is much better off now that Y/n is a police detective” your uncle opened his mouth to speak but Greg cut him off, continuing “Family is always important; but I would think that someones family would care more about each others happiness. And all respect to your family business, but I think Y/n is much more suited to saving peoples lives and making London safer for they’re family. Don’t you think that is important as well?”

All the while Greg spoke, he never raised his voice above a tone of casual conversion; but, there seemed to be a dominance behind it, telling your uncle that Greg did not agree, nor liked what he said. Your parents and cousins felt this as well, and all stared at Greg, impressed with his demeanor.

You watched him as he spoke, your heart swelling as he defended you as your Uncle seemed to fight for words. He finally replied a simple “Yes, I suppose that is important as well”

Your mother decided to break in as well, talking to Greg “Though I worry about Y/n, I do certainly feel safer knowing they are working to protect us. And I feel much better knowing that you two are together, as I think you will help to keep Y/n safe, right?”

Greg smiled “Of course. Always” he looked at you, quickly winking, making you smile.

- - - - - - - - -

The dinner finally ended, with decent conversation, a few more prying questions as to your relationship, and only a few more degrading comments from both your aunt and uncle, all of which went ignored.

As you left the house, your father was saying goodbye to Greg as your mother pulled you into a hug, whispering in your ear “He’s a keeper”.

You chuckled as your heart leapt at the sentiment “I know. Goodnight mom”

As you walked back and got into the car, you and Greg sat there for a moment before Greg looked over at you “So? How’d I do?”

You smiled “Much better than I gave you credit” he chuckled as he rubbed his hands together, trying to warm up from the cold air outside. “Thank you, by the way, for defending me against my uncle. You have no idea how many times I’ve heard those comments. That was the first time anyone was able to shut him up and stop him from going on forever about it.”

He chuckled “You’re very welcome. But, you know what this means right?” You gave him a quizzical look as he grinned “I won the deal. You, owe me a date”

You laughed as he started the care and began driving “Right, yes, you won.”

“How about now?”

“What? Now?”

He nodded “I could go for something hot, coffee, tea maybe. Besides, no offense to your aunt, but that food was very bad”

You laughed as you nodded your head in agreement, after a moment you looked at him “Alright, where to then?”

“Well, on our way here we passed a 24-hour cafe, how about that?”

“Sounds good”

- - - - - - -

As you sat in the quaint cafe, each with your hot drinks and a small dessert, you laughed about some of the questions and comments made at dinner.

“That dinner definitely tops the ones from years before, I actually enjoyed this one” you smiled.

Greg returned your smile before speaking “Well, I’m sure the next one will be better.”

“Ugh, I’m already dreading next years”

“Oh not next years, I mean the Christmas dinner for just you and your close family. Your mother invited me”

You stared at him for a moment “She did? When?”

“As you were saying goodbye to your father. I said yes by the way”

“You said yes? Don’t you have plans?”

He shook his head “None that would be better” he smiled.

Returning the smile you weren’t quite sure what to say, feeling a sense of shyness come over you. Sensing this, Greg spoke up “Why don’t I take you home now? Its getting late”

“Oh, sure” you agreed.

The rest of the ride back was pleasant, as you discussed various things. Before you knew it you were pulling up to your flat.

Greg walked you to the door before speaking “I think next time I take you out, it will be for longer. That didn’t feel like much of a date”

You smiled “Next time?”

“Yeah” he grinned before taking a step closer to you “You aren’t getting rid of me now” he smirked as you smiled letting out a quiet chuckle. Quickly he leaned forward, pressing a sudden kiss to your lips, catching you by surprise. When he pulled away a grin spread across his face “Now I think that makes it official.”

“It?” you questioned quietly, a small smile on your face.

“Us” he whispered.

You hummed in amusement as you stared at each other for a moment before both of you simultaneously leaned in for another kiss.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The end.

I’m bad at endings, so I just have to cut it off lol.

If you liked it please consider liking and reblogging!~ Reblogs are the best way of helping spread creators works past their followers!

If you’d like to be added to a taglist (any fandom or character) let me know!

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ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes · 4 years ago

Text

Dawn in Your Eyes Part 22

Summary: Alfie has little to no idea why Caroline ever gave him the time of day. The blind woman seemed far too sensible to even speak to him. But soon he finds himself falling helplessly in love.

Part 22: Alfie and Caroline find that there’s something more harrowing than a brief marital disagreement.

TW: antisemitism

“Mr. Solomons.” Candace hesitated to approach the man’s office. She had heard the shouting back and forth between him and Caroline as she put a plaster on Chava’s hand. It was nothing she wanted to get involved in. But Caroline had called for her and insisted that Candace bring Alfie back to the bedroom.

But Alfie didn’t look to be in the mood for any conversation. “What is it?” He asked gruffly.

The young woman wrung her hands together. “Well, Mrs. Solomons was asking if you would return to speak with her further.” She explained.

“Does she? Well, tell her that I ain’t talking about anything else with her today. She’s being reckless, frankly, and I won’t have anything to do with it.” He replied curtly.

Candace had a fondness for the Solomons family, ever since she had been brought in to care for Caroline during her pregnancy. She thought they were lovely people, having seen them in a vulnerable state of domesticity. But that still didn’t erase Alfie’s temper.

So, she tried another approach. “Perhaps, you could talk to me about it?”

He lifted his head to look at her with scrutiny.

“I often find that if you tell someone else your side of the story, you can see things a bit clearer.” She explained with a shaky voice. She was just waiting for Alfie to throw her out of the house for being so nosy and prying into his personal business.

But instead, he sighed. “She wants more children.” He waved a hand to the chair that was sat across from his desk.

Candace took the invitation and sat down.

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea ‘cause of what happened with Chava. I ain’t gonna lose her to something that could be avoidable. If we don’t have any more children then we don’t run the risk of-well whatever could happen.”

Candace nodded. “I understand you want to be cautious. But I suppose you could understand Mrs. Solomons too. She told me it was customary to have a big family.”

“Yeah, s’pose it is.” He grumbled. “But tradition be damned, her life comes first.”

“Right, I understand.” Candace nodded. “I think…you’re both right and unfortunately there’s no way of knowing how things will go if you do have more children. But I guess that’s what life is all about. We don’t know how many days we have left.” She shrugged. “It’s about making the best of what you have right now.”

Alfie scratched his beard as he looked at her. “That’s very Jewish.” He said. “Creating heaven in this life, now.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize…”

“No, it’s good. Makes sense. Rational, innit? Life should be celebrated.”

She smiled. “Right.”

“Very profound, Candy.” He praised. “I thought Chava was a fast learner because of me but it might be because of you.” He chuckled and stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I should go talk to Caroline.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a few conversations between Alfie and Caroline before they reached an agreement. They would go ahead with having more children as long as there was both a midwife and a doctor at hand during the birth. And if possible, she would give birth in a hospital instead of the home.

But the rest was up to fate.

Meanwhile, Chava celebrated her second birthday. As she grew and learned, Alfie and Caroline were testing the waters to see if she could recognize Caroline’s blindness. Or at least understand it. It proved difficult as she seemed too young to comprehend but old enough to know something was different.

As her temper started to develop a little more, it became very clear that she was her father’s daughter. She could throw a fit like no other and when she wanted to be loud, she could be ear piercing.

Much to Alfie’s chagrin, Chava was a little sponge and would pick up on anything he did or said. She stomped her feet to imitate the heavy sound of his boots in the home. She swore like a sailor and there wasn’t anything Caroline or Alfie could do to change that. Alfie tried to change his vocabulary in front of the toddler but it was too late.

Alfie was in hot water for a bit with Caroline and Julia but it was something they had to live with.

Aside from her mouth and occasional temper, Chava was a lovely little girl. She adored her parents and loved nothing more than just spending time with them.

When Alfie came home in the evening, Chava would run to him with a big grin on her face. And every single time, the stress rolled right off his shoulders. He picked her up and held her close, greeting her warmly.

~~~~~~~~~~

One night, however, her smile wouldn’t be able to cure his stress. As he came home, Caroline met him at the door instead of their daughter.

There was worry creased into her face and Alfie was terrified that something had happened to Chava.

“Carrie, what’s wrong?”

“My aunt just called. Her office building was just set on fire. Or-or bombed, they don’t know yet.” Tears were slipping down her cheeks.

“What?” It certainly wasn’t the news he was expecting. “Just now?”

She nodded, clearly just as confused as he was.

“Right, wait here.” He instructed. “I’ll be right back.”

“No, you need to stay!” She reached out to him. “It isn’t safe. Not until we know what really happened.”

“This might be…” Well, Alfie could come up with a few different potential causes. Sure, it might have been an accident, but he wasn’t counting on it. In fact, he was already lining up a list of suspects in his head. However, that meant that the attack was ultimately his fault. Whoever it was, if they were his enemy, they were trying to get back at him for something. Now Caroline’s family and their business were in the line of fire.

“It’ll be alright.” He assured her. He took her hand in his and kissed her forehead. “Call Ollie. Have him bring Shayna and the kids over. I want everyone to be together until we figure this out. I’ll send Julia here when I get there.”

Caroline nodded but still looked worried. “Just hurry, please.”

“I will.”

~~~~~~~~~

Alfie rushed across town. There was a plume of smoke leading the way to the scene. People had gathered at a far enough distance to see what had happened. There were quiet whispers as he pushed his way through. A police car had already pulled up as the fire was starting to be put out.

Judging by a quick glance at the smoldering remains of the building, there was little chance it was a small accident.

Alfie found Julia talking with a police officer. Her hand was clutched to her chest. The usually iron-tough woman was shaken by the near-death experience.

“Julia.” He approached.

“Oh, Alfie.” She touched his arm, her hand trembling. “Thank God, you’re alright. Caroline thought maybe something had happened to you.”

“I’m alright. What happened?”

The cop didn’t look too pleased to see the notorious gangster intruding. “Move along, Alfie, this has nothing to do with you.”

His eyes darkened. “This is me family, mate. Has more to do with me than it does you. So why don’t you fuck off and find out who did this?” Though, he didn’t really put that much trust in the police to figure out the truth.

Yet, he could be wrong. “We know who did it.” The officer responded sharply.

“Yeah? Who was it then?” Alfie demanded, ready to put his hands around the neck of whatever lowlife committed the crime.

“It’s not any of your business. Scotland Yard will take care of it. Stay away from the matter, lest you want to be locked up for interfering.”

“That a fucking threat?” He snarled. “You better fucking tell me who it was or I’m going to-”

“Alfie, enough.” Julia interrupted sternly. She knew her niece would be a wreck if he was locked up for threatening an officer. “I’d like to see Caroline, let’s go now.”

He glared at the cop. “You’re lucky. I’m gonna find out, you can put money on that, mate.” He jabbed a finger at him before ushering Julia away from the building that was crumbling.

~~~~~~~~~

Before they entered the flat, Alfie stopped Julia. “Did he tell you?”

“Not who they were. But he said they’re fascists.” She answered quietly. “Blackshirts.”

Suddenly, it went beyond Alfie. This was no petty retaliation from the Titanic or Sabini. It had nothing to do with who Julia was associated with. It had to do with their identities.

Alfie could handle people not liking him. Whether they disliked his occupation, his sinful behavior, his kill count, or his distasteful personality. That was all well and good. But once people started targeting his religion, he felt like he could black out from rage. The heart of his people being aimed at like they weren’t even humans. It was sickening. And it was getting closer and closer to home. There was no ignoring it, no chalking it up to a bunch of radical morons with twisted ideology. No, it was serious and far beyond Alfie’s scope of power. Still, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t do anything about it.

~~~~~~~

Caroline hugged her aunt close, relieved she had made it out alive. But she was still confused. “Did you speak with the police?”

“Let’s not concern ourselves with that.” Julia shared a look of discomfort with Alfie. Neither of them was really in the mood to discuss the root of the crime. It felt horrendous saying out loud. “Let’s just be thankful no one was killed.”

Caroline nodded somberly. “Alfie, Chava is upstairs asking for you.”

“Alright, I’ll tuck her in. Just want to talk to Ollie first.” He gave his wife a quick peck before going to find Ollie.

He and Shayna were sitting in the parlor. Their three children were there as well. The two eldest seemed frightened by what was going on, but the youngest was asleep, unaware.

“Ollie.” Alfie jerked his head to the kitchen.

His assistant understood and stood up to follow. “Did they say anything?”

“Fascists.” He replied quietly.

The young man looked confused. The Blackshirts had been in the news but it seemed like a distant worry. Surely something so insane would be written off by the general public before anything would really happen. “Here?”

Alfie nodded. “Scotland Yard’s looking into it, guess they know who did it. Be honest, I doubt they’ll be put in prison. If they do, won’t be for long.”

Ollie looked wary. “Sir…I don’t think whatever you’re thinking of doing is a good idea.”

His boss narrowed his eyes. “So, we’re just supposed to let those fuckers do whatever they want? Next time there’ll be people in the building, Ollie.” He snapped. “And we’re gonna be wondering why we didn’t do anything sooner.”

“But, sir, this is something bigger.” He reminded Alfie. “It’s a political party. They aren’t just a small gang.”

“A group of violent men with a set of beliefs is a gang. Don’t care if they have a political party. Fuck it, I could have a political party if I wanted. All I care is that they come to realize that they ain’t coming back into Camden ‘less they want consequences.”

“Well,” Ollie knew there was little chance of talking him out of anything. “Tomorrow I can see what we might be able to find out about what the Yard knows. Though, we don’t have any informants on the inside.”

“I know someone who does.” Alfie nodded. “I’m going to bring Caroline and Chava to Margate tomorrow. If you’d like Shayna to go as well, that can be arranged.” If he could just pick Camden up and out of London and move all the people to safety, he would. But at the same time, Alfie was afraid of budging. He would not be chased out of his own territory. His family was forced out of Russia because of being Jewish. Alfie was not being forced out anymore. He was staying put.

//Holy moly I’m so sorry for the delay in this. I kept going back to the document but was in such a block that I just had to put it aside for a bit. It’s been so long since I uploaded that 90% of my tag list deactivated 😂

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe @evelynshelby

Tag list: @thinkingsofamadwoman

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#Alfie solomons #alfie solmons x oc #ofc #oc #ocs #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #fanfiction #tom hardy #tom hardy character #tom hardy fanfiction

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one-abuse-survivor · 4 years ago

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before i start, thank you so much for doing what you do;this blog has given me good advice countless times and i really have to thank you for that.

my issues with my parents are that they don't take me seriously. i can literally go up to them and say: "mom/dad, i think i might be autistic or have ADHD (both would be quite likely) can i get that checked out" and list a bunch of examples why i think that and they'll just be "nah, that can't be, you don't seem like that at all" as of i didn't break my mind over it researching it and talking to people who have it to see if we've had similar experiences just to get some kind of reference as to why i feel the way i feel and why i struggle so much with things that so many other people find so easy.

but then, in the following weeks and months (after talking w them) they just randomly point out things about me that kinda annoy them, like me talking out of turn a LOT or me not looking at people or me having trouble focusing if there isn't also music and a movie going at the same time or mom saying that i seem hyperactive to her because i'm always moving my legs or pacing around or rubbing my hands or drumming on the table with pens. things like that (plus a lot more) were the exact things i was telling them about and they just put it off like it's nothing but as soon as it affects and annoys them it's suddenly very real. at this point i'm struggling to talk to my parents about anything even remotely more serious than generic smalltalk and i'm having a hard time believing myself that my struggles are in fact real and i'm not just making them up.

and also on a less related note; the thing i hate most about my parents: if i'm wearing headphones and couldn't understand what a parent was yelling from somewhere else in the house then it's my fault. but if it's the exact same situation but i'm the one calling and they couldn't hear me, then it's obviously my fault too (i kinda get the first one but srsly how could i not wear headphones when they're constantly arguing with my brother in the room next to mine) (either way if one of the scenarios is clearly my fault, then the other shld be clearly their fault bc that's how logic works)

hhhh, this got quite long. i would love to hear your thoughts about this

a continuation from the other ask about my parents not taking me seriously even when i ask them for help with my hardest problems. that ask didn't really go in the direction i had planned but there is so much going on between my parents and me that i really need to talk to someone about

background: i'm around 15-16 rn and have a brother who's 18. primary school was academically very easy for me (lots and lots of great and even perfect grades) but my brother didn't have it as easy (lots and lots of mediocre and meh grades) so my parents really just kinda let me do my thing while they were constantly busy with my brother. so i got really independant and did all of my stuff on my own bc a) i always had done it that way and b) my parents were already busy and stressed. but after my brother got his first computer and got into video games his grades dropped and my parents started constantly arguing with him and taking away his computer and stuff like that so there was always a lot of tension (and i got to a point where i can't handle people yelling; that's what i was referring to with the headphone thingy at the end of the last ask) i don't know if i can go that far and say that my parents kinda neglected me and my emotional needs in favour of saving my brother grades but that's pretty much the way it feels.

i'm now a sophomore (school works a bit different here but i'm the equivalent of a highschool sophomore afaik, here it's just 10th grade) and starting from about mid 8th grade (end of 2018) i've been struggling a lot with self care and upkeep of my already minimal social circle and academic stuff (i'm at the academically highest level of school you could be at my age without skipping any years) and also mental health.

i got quite depressive and started isolating myself and casting away friends and my grades went down a lot, which really disappointed me because my great grades were kind of my trademark thing. but i didn't feel safe talking to my parents because of the huge distance that we built by me "never" needing their help with stuff.

in that time (almost a year ago, our anniversary is in twenty days or so) i got a girlfriend and i'm hella glad that i can talk to her about everything but i feel like i can't just go dump trauma and parent issues on her forever

about last november or so i was at a pretty low point and was suicidal and that's kind of when i snapped and went to my parents to talk so being cast away and having my issues invalidated really really hurt then and made me spiral even deeper and my gf was the only thing keeping me afloat.

i'm kind of a bit better now but i have rebuilt my view of my parents from "idk we never really interact" to "trying to interact or talk is not worth the energy" and needless to say i don't like them that much

oh and i forgot about all the times i got panic attacks and sensory overloads @ school because there are so many people there (1700 students + 200 teachers) and it's loud everywhere and of course asking my parents for what to do if suddenly everything is too bright and too loud and you can't move or talk because of it didn't get me anywhere (and since i didn't know what it was called or how to describe it properly, i didn't really find any Information online either

and just typing this makes me think of so many more things that they did that aren't okay things to do (a lot of gender identity stuff for example because i'm also neck-deep in that) . but writing this has also helped a lot right now. thank you for being there and listening.

and just in case i'm ever gonna pop back in to say something i'm gonna drop a name for easier identifying

sincerely - 🌌 milky way anon

Hi, nonnie! Thanks for the kind words, I'm really glad my blog has been of help ❤️

I'm sorry your parents are making it hard to believe your struggles are real :( you deserve to be taken seriously and to get access to all the help you might need. Just the fact your symptoms are there and you're noticing them and they're interfering with your daily life is enough to get them checked, regardless of if you need a diagnosis/meds/anything else. No one deserves to live wondering if their struggles are worth discussing with a doctor or professional.

And you're right: if one of those things was your fault, then the other should be theirs, logically. But I don't even think it's "your fault" you didn't hear them because you were wearing headphones, to be honest. I think it's just something that happens from time to time and that doesn't warrant getting mad over; I think it's the kind of thing that simply needs to be talked about so everyone in the household knows how to communicate with everyone else without getting frustrated. It's as easy as saying "hey, whenever I put on headphones I'll just text the family group chat to let you guys know I won't hear you. If you need anything in those moments, just text me instead". I do this with my girlfriend sometimes—if we're wearing headphones and we're in the same room, we simply pat each other when we need something and wait until the other takes off their headphones to talk. It really doesn't have to be an issue where anyone is to blame. You're allowed to take steps to feel safe and comfortable in your house without getting punished for it.

But, of course, this doesn't work if the people around you choose to prioritise "being right" and proving you're wrong over a peaceful and healthy cohabitation, which is what most toxic and abusive people do.

As for your second ask, I would say if it feels like your parents neglected you and your needs because they were always focusing on your brother, then it's okay to say that they did. The fact alone that those feelings are there makes you deserving of talking about it and wanting to heal from it; the cause of those feelings doesn't have to be something major, or sound deeply traumatising when you say it out loud, in order to "count". And people whose emotional needs were consistently met don't feel like they weren't.

I've already shared this video before, but if you want some resources on identifying and healing from emotional neglect, I really recommend watching it. Please bear in mind, though, that the video says it's important to not blame parents for emotionally neglecting you, but I don't think that's the message a lot of people need to hear and I think you should allow yourself to feel angry at your parents for not meeting your needs and causing you trauma. That's pretty much the only thing I'd criticise about the video.

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling with your grades and mental health lately, nonnie. I had a quite similar experience when I was in high school—I used to always get great grades, but my mental health and trauma put a lot of strain on them (as well as on my social life; I lost a lot of friends in those years) and it was really distressing to see the only thing that made me "worthy" crumble between my fingers like that. I'm still trying to unlearn this idea that your grades define your worth, and it's been really hard.

I'm so sorry your parents weren't there for you when you hit that low 😔 I'm glad your girlfriend could help you stay afloat in that moment, but they absolutely should've been there for you all those times you reached out to them for help with your struggles, and the fact that they didn't is emotionally neglectful of them.

I'm glad you're in a better place now ❤️ I really hope you can find out all the information you need on gender identity and sensory overload and any other issues that might be affecting you. Know that you deserve for your parents to be there for you. You shouldn't have to face any of this on your own, or even with only the support of other people your age. You deserve for them to care. You deserve to have your symptoms checked out. You deserve adult guidance to find resources to help you better understand and manage your struggles.

Sending all my virtual support your way ❤️ and happy belated anniversary to you and your girlfriend!

#Ask #milky way anon #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive parents #Toxic parents #Ableism tw #I'm not from the US either so I have no idea what a sophomore is hahaha #Emotional neglect tw #childhood emotional neglect #panic attacks tw #Suicidal tw

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mymymadeline · 4 years ago

Text

•Friendly Dark

gif by: @chrishemsworht

pairing: Hallmark Christmas Movie Au! Poe Dameron x Reader

word count: 6.9k+ words

summary:

warnings: alcohol cw

Adore You series: 01, 02, 03, 04, ... - AO3

Even though you’re on vacation, you are far from exempt from your work. And nothing is proving that more than the headache you nurse as you continue pouring over document after document on your tablet. Numbers and figures, charts and graphs, blueprints and sketches, even interviews and gossip articles – they’re all blending together after staring at the screen for what’s likely been hours.

Snoke’s call the night before was not a social one – they never are. He was going on about some acquisition Kylo’s been trying to make for the past few months, and apparently, he was missing something crucial, which is where you usually come in. The two of you have always been a team for a reason. He was more of the passion and ideas, whereas you were better with relations and logistics.

Snoke had immediately sent over hundreds of digital files for you to go through and find… well something. Most likely some kind of professional blackmail. Some kind of small violation or incident that would really be such a shame if it came to the media's attention. You know, the usual.

So far, everything they’ve done is up to code, as far as you can tell. But Snoke won’t take no for an answer. He’d have your head for it. So you continue looking through page after page, searching for some dirt, searching for any kind of upper hand on the competition.

After coming back in that night while on the phone with Snoke, you blew past your parents and went straight up to your room, where you’ve been for almost the entirety of this Sunday. You couldn’t even face them after that absolute embarrassment of an evening. And though this morning you did stalk around the house if only to get a thing or two to eat, you pointedly ignored your mother, only giving your father a small silent nod of acknowledgment.

Stealing away to your room for a full day of silent, frustrating work was not exactly your idea of a fun vacation back home, but neither was last night. Just the thought of running into Poe again makes you squeeze your eyes shut in embarrassment and stress. He probably thinks you’re an idiot now. Probably never wants to see you again. And who could blame him if he did?

If you were a different woman, you’d probably have shed a few embarrassed tears in the solitude of your room, but that wasn’t you. Not anymore. So you rub your eyes once again, and get back to work.

You’re back to staring at a tax filing by the company’s CEO from seventeen years ago when a notification pops up at the top of your screen.

Unknown Number

hey! its rose! i got ur number from when you called the shop lol hope thats not creepy

i was wondering if ur busy tonight? i was thinking of getting drinks w/ some friends at Kanata’s! wanna come? i can pick u up since ur ride is chopped ;)

You blink back at the notification. Drinks? At Kanata’s?

You can’t remember the last time you actually went out with a group of friends, especially for fun. Taking clients you and Kylo were wooing out to dinner was a common occurrence. But fun? They were never.

Another wave of anxiety washes over you. Friends? Who were these friends? Would they like you? Did you know them? Maybe it would be better to just stay and finish your work. Nothing could go wrong if you did that.

You open the message, absolutely ready to type an excuse why you can’t come, when there’s a gentle knock at your door. You already recognize it as your mother by the way she knocks even before she calls out gently.

“Love? You in there?”

“I’m here.” You leave your voice flat and emotionless. You need her to know you’re still mad.

“Can… Can I come in?”

‘No’ dances on the tip of your tongue for a strong moment, but the uncertainty in her soft voice gives you pause.

“...Okay.”

The door clicks open slowly and your mother pokes her head in, a small, nervous smile affecting her features. You only look at her blankly from your nest of blankets and pillows that have been on your bed since high school.

She steps more fully into the room, closing the door behind her most of the way. She leaves it open just a little, giving the both of you some air to breathe, but also, in a way, making sure not to lock herself in a cage with a wounded animal.

And she approaches you like one–cautious, hands visible and apologetic. You huff, curled up in the corner of your bed, and try to look anywhere but at her. But she’s hard to avoid as she sits gently on the far edge of your bed and pulls her hands into her lap, looking down and rolling them over one another contemplatively. You two sit like this for a moment, simmering in the uncomfortable tension, but like hell you’re the one with anything to apologize for.

She lets out a deep sigh. “I’m… so, so sorry… about my behavior last night. I suppose I just… wasn’t handling your absence as well as I thought I was.”

Despite the small sorrow your heart finds at her small and broken tone, the anger–rage even– that has been boiling since the night before claws desperately to be let out. You breathe deeply, and do your best to keep it still in its place. But that doesn’t exclude the fury that seeps into your quiet voice, as you level your gaze with hers.

“Mom, that was the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me in my entire professional career. I need you to know this.”

She nods understandingly and looks back to her fiddling hands. “Yes. I know. And I couldn’t be sorry enough. I realized...I– I don’t know how to be your mother anymore.” You blink at this. A terrible lurch in your gut crawls into your throat at the sight of the tears silently beginning their descent down her cheeks. “I don’t know what to do for you when you're a grown woman who’s accomplished so much on her own without me. I miss you, but I’m not really sure I know you anymore.”

She looks up suddenly at you, her face twisted with grief and regret.

“I didn’t mean it like that… I-”

You stop her, shaking your head, swallowing the lump in your throat, willing the sudden strange wetness in your eyes away. Your voice comes out more choked up than you wish. But whatever wall was up is quickly crumbling away.

“No… Mom, I think I understand.” You look down at your own hands now, picking at your nails nervously, silently discovering the lineage of this habit of yours. You smile sadly at the thought. “I feel that way too sometimes… about myself.”

“Oh, love.” Your mother reaches out, placing her hand on your foot, the only part of you she can reach, and squeezes it gently. She smiles sweetly, her eyes and cheeks still wet, though she’s wiped away the tears.

“You’re not my little girl anymore… but you’re still my daughter, and I’ll love you no matter what.”

You nod, suppressing a sniff as you rub at your nose. She squeezes your foot one more time before standing up and making her way back to the door. She reaches for the handle when you call out.

“I love you, Mom.”

The smile she sends you is genuine, heartfelt, and warming to your core. It makes you realize how much you truly missed your mother, even if she had her difficulties. “I love you too, girlie.”

With that, she closes the door, leaving you alone with your tablet and the unanswered message. But you know your response now.

Sounds fun! Let me know what time. I’d love to come, if you’ll have me.

You begin entering Rose’s information into your contacts and her response is almost immediate.

Rose Tico

duuuh! ill get u at like 8ish? and we’ll meet them there! cant wait!

You look down at the message and can’t help but feel a little more at home.

______________

You run a hand through your hair, adjusting your outfit for the hundredth time. You’ve opted for something more casual tonight. Something a little more friendly, approachable. You suddenly frown at your reflection. You don’t need these people’s approval. Well, no. But it wouldn’t be so bad to be friendly for once would it?

The two voices in your head continue to battle it out, leaving you frozen in the mirror, desperately trying to understand how you feel in this moment. Anxious? Perhaps. Regretful of accepting this invitation? Maybe.

Your phone chirps, lighting up on your desk. Glancing over, you see it’s Rose. You don’t need to read it to know it’s just her announcing her arrival, but you pick it up anyway, settling down on your bed and slipping on your shoes as you open the message.

Rose Tico

here!!! right in front lol

One moment!

You lace up your boots quickly, practically sprinting out of your room and down the stairs, snatching up your long coat on the way.

“I’m headed out, I won’t be back until you guys are already in bed. So, goodnight.”

You call out to the living room as you pull on the coat, your parents turning from their seats on the couch, eyeing you with interest.

“And where are you going this late, young lady?” Your father questions sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

“Out with friends,” you rush, already halfway out the door, spotting Rose in her car and giving a small wave. “Love you, bye!”

Half-jogging down the steps, you cross quickly but cautiously through the snow-laden yard, careful not to slip. As you close the gate behind you, Rose is already opening the passenger door from the inside, beckoning you in.

“Get inside, it’s freezing!”

You allow yourself a small laugh and slide into the seat next to her. Pulling the door closed, you look around, taking in the space of the car, as she starts it back up and pulls away from the curb.

Like most things in The Base, it’s worn and old, peeling and chafed, likely held together with duct tape and love. But despite all of its imperfections, it’s not only comfortable, it’s cozy. It’s warm and personal, every dent containing a story, every mile meaningful.

You can’t help but think back to the chill rigid efficiency of your TIE. Sure, it gets the job done, and is mighty stylish while it does so, but you’ve never felt like it was yours. Never felt anything but cool indifference for its sleek lines and dark exterior.

“So, you’re looking snazzy tonight.” Rose pulls you out of your thoughts with her cheery tone.

You look down at your outfit, once again tugging at its hems.

“Am I? I was actually trying to dress down.”

She laughs at that. “You think that’s dressing down? No way, this is dressing down.” She takes one hand off the wheel, gesturing at her own attire: A brown button-up with a sewn name tag and a pair of dark cargo pants. Likely the uniform she wore to work today. Her cool attitude and smooth voice put you at ease, and you can feel your guard begin to lower.

“I like this on you,” you quietly praise. You pick at your nails, continuing, “Don’t take this the wrong way, please, but… I admire that you can wear clothes like that and feel comfortable. I feel like I have to dress up all the time, no matter what. I don’t know… I- Nevermind.”

You look up at Rose and she pulls her eyes away from the road for a moment to give you a meaningful look. She nods sympathetically, her previous lightness replaced by understanding. She realizes the weight of this seemingly minor admission.

“I get it, I do.” She gives you a soothing smile. “I just hope you can feel comfortable here… with us. We like having you back, even if just for a moment.”

Still smiling, she turns back to the wheel with a light shrug. “Plus, this isn’t Canto Bight. You’ll look great no matter what.”

You groan, half sardonic, half-serious. “Oh, please don’t remind me. You know, I thought I was a vulture, but those people,” you give an audible shiver. “They’re something else.”

Rose laughs melodically. “Oh, do tell.”

______________

The ride to the bar is short, the car only really needed for warmth, but the company is appreciated. Rose laughs along to your story of once attempting to cover for Kylo’s drunken rage in front of investors, and while it was a very unamusing situation at the time, you find yourself chuckling with her.

“Well, that’s why we don’t let him have Bespin Fizzes anymore.”

Rose giggles at that, before piping up in her seat a little. “There it is!”

The bar comes into view just ahead, a familiar neon sign reading Kanata’s hanging overhead a small brick building. The parking lot is compact, but practically full, reminding you just how small the town is, as Kanata’s is the only real bar in the whole Base, and as such, is the town’s favorite happy hour hangout.

She leans up the dashboard, pointing to an old, grey, junky Corellian that’s as familiar to the town as the bar.

“There’s the Falcon,” she points out with a smile, though you don’t need her to tell which car it is. “They’re here.”

You nod, smiling at the old hunk of junk fondly, before suddenly realizing what the Falcon’s presence implies. She pulls up to the spot next to it as you turn to her.

“Wait, we’re getting drinks with Han? ” You try not to sound upset, only curious, but Rose reads your panic easily.

“No, silly,” she giggles, and seems to dodge the question, stepping out of the car. You quickly follow behind, stepping out into the chill night air. Closing the doors, Rose rounds the car and you trail next to her, past the Falcon and towards the bar's entrance. She continues her explanation without you having to ask.

“About five years ago, Han gave the Falcon away.”

“He gave it away? Why would he do that? To who?”

She pushes open the door, leading you into the dimly lit bar, which you only now realize with its unfamiliar interior, that you never stuck around to be old enough to actually enter it. The lights are low, yellow and red, but not unwelcoming, in fact creating a warm atmosphere. It’s brightest around the bar itself, with neon and string lights, as patrons sit on the stools, chatting over the low playing jukebox on the far side of the room. Near it are a couple of pool tables, busy with players in the middle of games. A few locals drink in booths against the walls, however Rose leads you towards the high tables and stools in the middle of the room. You’re scanning the bar for anyone you recognize when you finally see where she’s leading you– to the only couple occupying the tables, and your heart drops into your stomach as your fight or flight instinct kicks in.

“To them!” Rose points but once again you don’t need her helpful hand to see what you need to.

At the table is a girl you don’t recognize with a sweet face and dark hair, but it’s the familiar face next to her that makes you want to run.

Finn, your old classmate, but more importantly your old employee, sits smiling and laughing, casual as anything. You knew Finn left First Order – on very bad terms, one would be remiss to forget – after a fateful trip home for somewhere less cutthroat and competitive, but you thought that meant somewhere like Alderaan. You didn’t think he’d come back, and you certainly didn’t think you’d actually see him here.

Rose doesn’t notice your hesitation, continuing to pull you forward and calling out to her friends. She catches their attention, waving, and you brace for the moment of impact.

Finn is going to be mad that you’re here. He’s going to be furious. He’s going to stand up and yell at Rose about how awful of a person you are and make sure nobody in this town will even so much as smile at you ever again. He’s going to laugh in your face and tell you to go back to Coruscant and you’ll do it because you’re so deeply embarrassed.

The girl turns first, smiling and waving back at Rose. She grins brightly at you as well, obviously unfamiliar but still friendly. Finn turns second with an easy expression, glancing at you briefly before doing a double-take. His face falls, but not into anger like you expect. It drops to confusion, like he’s making sure it’s you, which then turns into half-smug disbelief, a bewildered smile taking over his features.

Finn speaks first. “No-freaking-way.”

Tension still wracks your body as he steps off the stool, meeting you and Rose in front of the table. Rose looks between the two of you before dropping your hand and covering her eyes.

“Oh my God, I totally forgot about the whole…” She looks to you apologetically, not towards Finn, which confuses you. “I’m so sorry I forgot to say.”

“No, I- it’s okay. I just hope I’m not intruding.” It seems that this town just loves to leave you at a loss for words.

Finn laughs, seemingly completely at ease. “Not unless you’re here to talk about work. Or to try to win me back.”

“God, no. Not that we wouldn’t love to have you back but,” you glance quickly at the friendly girl still sitting at the table, obviously confused. “I understand that you’re much happier here.”

“That I am.”

“Then that’s all I care about.”

Rose absolutely buzzes with energy at the exchange. “Yay! So we’re all still friends and everything?” Her hands are clasped and her hopeful eyes flicker back and forth between the two of you.

You turn your gaze back to Finn, hoping that you look as genuine as he does. “I hope so.”

“I don’t see any reason why not,” He smiles warmly at you, offering his hand. “Besides, you weren’t exactly the one that left me with a bad taste in my mouth.”

You take his hand easily, and just barely manage to quell your surprise when he uses it to tug you into a warm hug. The recent bombardment of hugs you’ve received in the past few days is the only thing that gets your arms moving properly, wrapping loosely around Finn for a moment before you part.

As you pull back, an awkwardness comes to hang in the air as a silence settles between the four of you. You suddenly remember the girl at the table seemingly the same moment that Finn does. He pipes up, turning towards her and half leading you to the table where they were sitting.

“Right, uh, Rey, I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine.”

You extend a hand and introduce yourself to the woman, Rey, and she lets out an awkward laugh as she takes it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I was a bit, erm, hesitant to intrude on the moment. Seems like there’s a lot of history going on here.”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Finn laughs before his nose scrunches up in thought. “Actually, you might have some idea. You know the place I used to work before we met?”

Rey’s face twists in disgust. “You mean that awful tech company? God, you couldn’t stop talking about how awful it was for almost a year. Must’ve been terrible. Did you work there too?”

She looks to you as your cheeks heat up and you can't help the grimace that creeps into your expression. “I actually still do.”

Finn opens his mouth but Rey beats him to it. “Oh no, that must be awful. What do you do? Get yelled at all day by some tall blonde woman like Finn did?” She chuckles at her own joke, but she’s the only one. Finn and Rose look like they’d rather be anywhere else. Probably at the bar. With strong drinks. Yet, you feel a chill indifference wash over you. The one you feel whenever you walk through the doors of the First Order offices and meetings.

“Actually I’m the COO.”

Rey’s jaw slackens with the shock, mouth starting and stopping any words she attempts to get out. “I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” Finn has his head fully in his hands and Rose looks like she might die. But you smile softly.

“It’s okay. I’ve heard far worse before. From people whose opinions were far more important.”

The urge to storm out tugs at your gut but your feet stay planted. It’s strange. You’re not quite sure what emotion it is that you’re feeling exactly. There’s anger, but it’s the blow to your pride that fuels it. There’s certainly embarrassment. Mostly, you realize it’s guilt. Guilt that the company you worked so hard to build has hurt people - people that you care about. You knew it happened, probably every day, probably right at this moment, but being faced with the conversations that people must be having behind your back… It hurts. It hurts in many directions.

“Drinks!” Rose chirps loudly, desperate to break the tension. “I’ll go get us some drinks!”

She spins on a dime and immediately heads towards the bar. Looking between you and Rey, Finn gulps. “She’ll probably need some… help with those…” He’s immediately out of his chair and trailing behind Rose.

Rey sits quietly, a thoughtful look on her face as you finally take a seat on the stool across from her. The silence hangs for a moment as the jukebox croons quietly in the background.

“I really didn’t mean it that way,” Rey starts quietly. “It’s just…” She leans towards you, elbows resting in front of her on the table. Her eyes are earnest, kindness pouring forth. “Finn was miserable when we met in Jakku. Work was stressing him out to no end, but mostly… he felt like he was hurting people. He had a stable and successful job but… what did it cost him? All he ever wanted to do was help people.” She sighs, and a small smile tugs at her lips. “I like to think I helped him, but really, he knew all along what he had to do. I’m so grateful that we’re both here now, working with the kids, helping people where it feels like it really matters. I can’t speak for you, but it sounds like you’re proud of your company, and I’m glad but… It just wasn’t right for Finn. I hope I haven’t offended you.”

You’re momentarily stunned by her small speech. Not just the words but her honesty. You can tell from the tone of her voice just how much she cares for Finn and how much she believes in their cause. You find a small stain on the table, gazing at it intensely in thought. You’ve just wanted to help people too, all your life, but making something of yourself always came first it seemed. You told yourself you were helping people, creating new things that made so many people’s lives easier, donating intensely to charities, but how many people were you hurting on the way? How many times can you tell yourself that some eggs must be cracked to make an omelette? How many people have you screwed over, blackmailed, and outright stolen from? How many shady people have you bought from or sold to? How many things have you ignored or swept under the carpet just to keep business running as usual?

“If it helps… Finn always spoke highly of you.”

You look up as Rey draws you out of your thoughts, something she obviously picks up on going by her smile.

“Well… He’s a good man. A good friend before he was an employee… I didn’t mean what I said either - about your opinion not mattering. That’s not true, I just…” You trail off, but look up to find comfort and forgiveness in her warm expression. You give her a small genuine smile of your own. “Maybe we should just start over.”

You extend a hand, introducing yourself and she does the same, laughing lightly as she does so. At that moment, Rose and Finn come shuffling over, each balancing a tray with a few colorful drinks and rounds of shots. Placing the trays on the table, Finn eyes your smiles and parting hands.

“Are you guys… Is everything good now?”

You nod, laughing. “Yes, I think we just got off on the wrong foot.”

“And we’re just here to have a good time and hang out - no work talk.” Rey winks at Finn. He lets out a hearty laugh, clapping you two on the back.

“Oh, you two are good.”

“Actually, there’s one more thing,” Rose cuts in. She looks absolutely tickled pink, poorly suppressing her roguish grin. Finn and Rey raise an eyebrow in unison, seemingly used to this behavior.

Rose giggles, “I invited Poe!”

You instantly feel your heart rate pick up and a gentle heat rise in your cheeks, but it seems your the only one excited about this development. Rey only sighs with an unamused laugh. Rolling his eyes, Finn shakes his head, “That’s not exactly a surprise.” He turns to you. “She invites him out every time. And every time he says no. ‘Too busy.’”

“He never just relaxes,” Rey chimes in. “We’re constantly inviting him out, even inviting ourselves into the shop occasionally, but he’s just so dedicated to his work. It’d be admirable if it wasn’t so annoying.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Rose waves her hands around, as if attempting to dispel the negative comments in the air before they reach you. “BUT… I told him a certain special someone was gonna be here!”

Finn and Rey both turn to you, Rey holding an expression of curiosity and Finn looking at you with new eyes, the gears turning almost visibly in his head. Did she mean you? Everyone seems to be looking at you expectantly so… she must be. Sure, Poe seems to like you well enough but… This is behavior that seems to have been going on for years. How could your presence possibly change that?

“Wh- Me?” You ask, turning to Rose at a sudden loss for words. “Why- What makes me special?”

Rose rolls her eyes so hard her head can’t help but follow. “You are so oblivious. And so special.”

Finn nods, with a grin you can only describe as ‘shit-eating.’

“Of course.” He bites his lip deviously. “This is gonna be so fun.”

“Really wha-”

You’re cut off by the sound of the blowing snow and wind as the door creaks open behind you. As if on cue, each of your heads swivel to the entrance to see the door swinging shut behind Poe shaking the snowflakes out of his hair, cheeks ruddy from the outside cold. He looks up from tugging his gloves off to see the four of you gawking at him. If he can tell he just walked in on a discussion of himself, he doesn’t show it. He practically beams at the four of you, but lets his eyes settle on yours.

“Hey guys.”

“This is gonna be so fun,” You hear Finn whisper behind you.

You fail miserably at trying to hide your smile, but you know it’s for the best.

______________

“God, I know it’s embarrassing but... that’s so funny.” Rey chuckles with red cheeks, thoroughly amused.

“But it’s so embarrassing,” You exclaim, a little louder than you’re usually comfortable with but the drinks you’ve been slowly consuming for the past two hours have loosened your tongue just a bit.

Finn continues to shake his head in laughter. “I do love your mom, though. I wanna thank her for that one. A proper Base welcome.”

“C’mon, it really wasn’t so bad,” Poe laughs.

Once he’d arrived, everyone made quick work of getting him a drink and dragging over a stool, planting him firmly and snuggly between you and Rose. Small pleasantries and catching up eventually turned into you and Poe recounting the previous night's dinner and conversation at the strong behest of the rest of the group. It mostly consisted of you complaining and apologizing to Poe and him simply laughing it off, attempting to placate your worries. Finn, Rey, and Rose simply watched in entertainment, soaking up every juicy detail.

“Really, you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You’ll drive yourself insane.” Poe places a hand on your shoulder, sending a little shiver of electricity through your body that you desperately try to curb. You look down at his hand on your shoulder and are struck with the desire to see it as often as possible. Meeting his eyes, they are warm and kind and cause you to immediately lose whatever it was you were going to just say. You are now very aware of just how buzzed you are.

“I’ll… I’ll try.” You give him a small smile and he accepts it readily, his own smile growing. Over your shoulder, Finn must catch his eye because he swiftly turns his head back to his drink on the table and clears his throat. His hand gives you a small pat and quickly retreats back to his lap. His hand makes a loose fist and you miss its warmth.

“Well,” Rose starts. “It’s getting late and I am so beat. I should get going.”

Rose gives a meaningful glance at Finn and Rey, “Isn’t it a school night? You guys should get going too. Don’t want to have to show a video tomorrow.”

Finn’s eyes widen a bit and Rey nods fervently.

“Yes, absolutely. You’re so right, Rose.” Finn begins standing up from his stool. “C’mon, Rey, we should be off.”

Those fucking conspirators. You know you should be grateful - they’re trying very hard to set you up with your high school crush - but all you can feel is panic. You’re an expert at talking to people, from brokering deals to conducting yourself in interviews and even giving presentations, you’ve trained and practiced in the art of discussion. But for some reason, just being in the same room as Poe makes your brain short circuit. Your mind constantly pulls back and forth whether to close off and shut him out or loosen up and actually let him in. It’s barely been three days but it feels like so much longer. And that’s terrifying.

“Uh-Wh- Are you guys okay to drive?” You sputter.

Finn sends you a reassuring smile as he grabs Rey by the shoulders, “Rey might not be in any state to drive, but I’m totally fine. I’ve had maybe two drinks in the past couple hours. Don’t worry.”

Rose is off her stool too, gathering her coat. “Could you maybe drop me off too? I’d just walk but it’s so damn cold.”

“No problem, Rose.”

“What about me? I’m supposed to walk then?” You interject, flustered. “Rose, you drove me here.”

Rose gives an exaggerated look of cluelessness, giving you a shrug before looking over at Poe.

Breaking his momentary silence, Poe gives you a nod. “Yeah, I can give you a ride if you want.”

You can only nod along. “Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you.”

Rose lets out a little squeal, scrambling over to give you a kiss on the cheek and skip out the door, calling out goodbyes over her shoulder. You can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh along with Finn and Rey, both of them giving you and Poe sidehugs before taking their exit as well.

As the doors swing shut and the silence between you settles, you glance around at the bar. There are about half as many people as there were a few hours ago but the place doesn’t feel empty by any means. The few patrons still mill about, some playing pool, some chatting at the bar. You sigh contently at the sight, something Poe catches as he watches you.

“Good to be home?”

You look over, momentarily studying his handsome features in the warm lights as you try to figure out how to answer his question.

“I don’t know. Like I said before, it’s not really home. And yet it is.”

He nods, thinking for a second. “But are you happy to be here?”

You eye him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I’m starting to be.”

“Well, I’ll drink to that.” He grins, holding up his bottle. You meet his with your own, both taking a swig with a smile.

As you settle your drinks back on the table, Poe leans over with a lowered voice. Your pulse thrums in your veins. “You know, I actually had a great time last night, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

You sigh with chagrin, momentarily closing your eyes to rub at the spot between your brows.

“Well, I’m glad you had so much fun at my expense.”

Poe leans away, shutting his eyes in his own embarrassment.

“That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry.”

You chuckle lightly, a sound that gets Poe to open one eye before breaking into a smile, laughing with you. He leans in again, still smiling but a serious tone overtakes him.

“I really understand if you don’t want to talk about it but… What was your mother talking about… with Ben?”

You feel like a bucket of water has been dumped on you, ruining the easy-going mood you’d let slowly wash over you for the past few hours, but when you look at him, you can’t help but want to tell him everything.

“I just… I’ve only heard bits and pieces about what happened after you graduated. You really… disappeared.”

“Not disappeared,” you say quietly, with grit in your voice. “They just started paying attention to me somewhere else.”

“I paid attention to you,” Poe murmurs. When you catch his eye, he corrects himself. “I mean, we all did.”

You smile sadly, “Yeah, this is different.”

Poe gently knocks your shoulder with his, making you let out a snicker. Glancing over, Poe levels you with a genuine look, with soft eyes and a smile. “I get the feeling you don’t talk about your life often. So, tell me about it.”

He’s right. You never talk about your life, you certainly never regale your story to whoever asks. Doing that requires you to be vulnerable, it requires self-reflection and introspection. It requires you to think about things that you’ve long locked away inside. But…

“Well, I’m not sure how well you remember, or if you ever noticed but… no one ever really talked to me. Then one day, Ben did. No one ever really talked to him either, so we made a fast pair. He was odd... but he was a real friend to me. I wouldn’t have traded that for anything.”

Poe nods understandably, encouraging you to keep going.

“We decided to stick together. We got into Imperial University together and got out as quickly as we could. Neither of us… We couldn’t stay here, not with what we planned on doing with our lives. This town… it just wasn’t for us.”

“Yeah, I hear that a lot. I get that, too.” Poe takes a drink.

“You do?”

He laughs softly. “Yeah, but that’s a story for another time. Keep going.”

“We learned at school that we worked really well together. Our mentor Snoke realized that, too. He led us, taught us, molded us. He helped us build our company, First Order Tech. He was our first investor, he still sits on the board of directors. Kylo… Ben may be the CEO, but Snoke is still in charge of both of us to this day. It’s our company, we created it from the ground up but… We still bow to him.”

You shake your head. Time for the hard part. Might as well get it out quick and easy.

“Somewhere along the way… I don’t know if it was love. It wasn’t love how it should be - I can tell you that. But, Ben and I… were together. And then he proposed. I don’t think it was because he wanted to. I think he just thought… he was supposed to. Just the natural progression of our lives, I guess.”

You don’t realize you’re crying until the teardrops reach your chin, where they hang heavily before dropping onto your lap. You quickly wipe them away, as Poe once again places a hand on your back, but this time it stays there, his thumb rubbing comfortably back and forth.

“You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. It’s okay.”

“I just,” You sniffle, wiping your nose. Way to break down just as he was warming up to you, kiddo. “I’ve never talked about this before, not really. I don’t even think I’ve ever cried over this before.”

“Anyway, I somehow became lucid enough to call it off a few months before the wedding.”

You sniff wetly and press the backs of your hands to your eyes, your makeup no doubt ruined by now. Poe’s thumb keeps its motion.

“I just wanted it so bad,” Your voice cracks. The lump that had been caught in your throat breaks free in the form of a sob. “I let myself be blind because I…”

Your hands are shaking and tears run freely down your face.

“I wanted to be loved. And I thought that’s how I would get it. But I woke up.”

You drop your hands onto the table, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You clench your fists and your voice no longer trembles.

“And I’m glad I did. We’re both better people for it.”

Only now do you chance a look at Poe. You had kept your gaze down, too scared to find what his expression might be, too scared to read his thoughts on his face. But his hand had stayed planted, comforting you. That had to mean something, right?

Looking up, you see only his warm gaze that had assured you deeply enough to get you talking in the first place. It carries a sadness, a kind of worry in the crease between his slightly upturned brows. But you find no disgust. No pity.

“I wish I knew what to say.”

You chuckle wetly, “You don’t have to say anything. I understand that it’s a lot.”

His hand makes a broad stroke across your back as he leans in once again.

“There’s actually a lot of things I want to say, but I’m sure you’d hate all of them considering they all sound like condescending things your mom has probably said to you over the years.”

A genuine laugh bubbles out of you at this, a bright smile pulling up your wet mascara stained cheeks. Seeing this, Poe can’t help a smile of his own.

“Things like ‘you’re so brave’ and ‘you poor thing’?” You giggle.

He chuckles, “Yeah something like that, the usuals.”

“Well thank you for sparing me.”

“No problem.” He pauses for a moment. “But really, thank you for telling me.”

He sounds like he means it.

“Thank you for listening, Poe.”

And so do you.

You sit like that just for a moment, gazing at each other. You take in the small details, admiring the creases around his eyes, the shape of his jaw, the curls in his hair. He seems to be taking you in as well, his eyes flickering across your features. You see them linger on the stains of your cheeks, turning your head away subconsciously.

“Ready to go?” He asks softly.

You smile and nod, wiping at your nose with your sleeve. “Yeah, I think I’m ready.”

You wobble just a bit as you get up from your seat, but Poe’s hand is still there to steady you. It stays there as you walk to the door. Stepping out into the cold, you instinctively huddle against him, a move he readily accepts as you walk.

“I’m not always a sad drunk, I promise.”

You feel the rumble of his chest as he laughs gently at your small joke.

“Don’t worry. I believe you.”

The ride is comfortably silent, except for the low hum of the radio as you drive. Pulling up to your house, you want to say something, do something, to thank him for what he did tonight. For driving you home, for listening to you and comforting you as you practically sobbed in his arms, for coming to the bar at all, supposedly just because you were there.

But you don’t do anything.

“I’ll see you around,” is all you say.

You hear him swallow as he nods. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll see you.”

When you finally slink upstairs and collapse in your bed, you still feel the phantom touch of Poe’s hand across your back.

notes: Whew! Thank you SO much for reading and thanks to all the people who stuck around! It’s been such a long and hard year and I hope everyone is doing okay. I’m determined to make this year great and I hope you all will join me!

I understand it’s been forever so if you’re on the taglist and would like to taken off it, hit me up and I’ll totally understand - and if you’re not on the taglist and would like to be leave a reply or send me a message! love you all <3

taglist: @ikbenplant @jamesdeerest @fortheloveoflamp @operation-spot @asianravenpuff @whovianayesha @ultrunning @nowheredreamer @honestlyjustwow @badwolf-212 (for some reason i can never tag you properly :( )

#fic: Adore You #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #reader insert #star wars #mads fics #hallmark au #oscar isaac

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