#i feel like i have imposter syndrome but with my entire life

[rosesradio]

.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

One day

One day I hope people realize that Kitsunami already "broke through his programming" back by issue #56 of Idw Sonic

He had an entire mini arc where he dealt with being without Surge for the first time, and in the real world. He met Sonic and his friends directly, tried to work out what his purpose would be without Surge in his life (gave it a shot trying to devote himself to Sonic, seeing him as the next best thing after Surge). And when it was all said and done, he decided after experiencing more that at Surge's side is where he wanted to be.

As of the recent IDW issues, Kit isn't sticking with Surge "because of programming" and "because he just needs for other characters to friend him and turn him into a better person". He is at her side because he wants to be. He protects her and aids her because he cares about her, not just because he's serving the strongest guy in the room. And he's not interacting with others because he's decided not to give a shit about anyone else other than Surge (because from his pov, even the "good guys" are fake. From his pov, everyone is someone trying to lie and manipulate their way into pulling him and Surge to their side)

Kit already has decided what he wants to do with his life. And he decided it on his own. Not because of anyone else's wants or wishes. That's the whole point of his speech at the end of #56.

He's burying whatever his and Surge's past is and moving forward with his conviction to be with Surge because it's what he wants.

[hauntedhopeghost]

been debating on what to say for longer than i've expected, going anon for this ( although i mayyy suspect you may already know who i am just by my writing style but- welp! xd ) ; if i say anything even remotely wrong, you are free to ignore this ask /gen

you're enough. i think one big step is learning you don't have to be enough for everyone else because it's impossible to do that. you can't please everyone, you can't not please everyone aswell ; 8 billion people in the world, it's almost destiny that atleast 100 of them will be bothered by your existence, and other 100 will not.

although, it's okay to feel that way. it's okay to feel like you have to please everyone, to feel like you have to make everyone happy, to feel worthless if that's not the case. it's okay and you're allowed to feel that way. you are not to blame for feelings that you cannot control.

i won't say i understand, but as a fellow people-pleaser, i can say that i can atleast get the feeling. and i want you to know that it's okay. feel free to open up, to be vulnerable, to cry, to feel worthless, to feel like you're not good enough, to feel like your entire existence is entitled to only making people happy - you're allowed to feel all of those things and more. that's okay.

embrace those feelings instead of shoving them away, be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to just feel. it's okay.

it's so easy to just say you're worth, but you're not gonna believe me if i say you are. so i ask you to say those things to yourself instead, and the multiple times you feel like that's just luck, or you're being a fraud ; that's when you know you're doing great. that's when you know you are worth much more than what that voice in your head tells you.

your worth as someone is much more than what your acchievements tells you ; accept yourself as someone who is allowed to feel, to mess up, to regret, to cry, to be successful, to be kind to oneself, to feel and be all of those things and more.

that can be quite hard to do, but look how far you've gotten. you're still here, aren't you? easier said than done, i know. and it won't get easy, not even one bit - but, and i mean it genuinely : you got this. you genuinely got this.

not sure what to say anymore, so i'm just gonna say that i'm here if you wanna talk. my dms are open for you , and i will be there to give my support to you just as much as i can.

<- sincerely, a moot.

...

hey. thanks. /gen

I'm surprised that you even bothered to write out the message. it's odd because I had a weird thought of "they'll just ignore it"/"I want someone to notice this."

I'm still here. Yeah. That is something.

(Holy shit you made me cry with this /gen /pos)

I think I've grown relatively desensitized to people caring about me (not because of them, but because I've truly forgotten what it's like to have someone actually comfort you, especially when said person barely knows you.) but I seriously, seriously appreciate people (like you!) that bother to send me messages like this.

it does help make things better. like- seriously.

(still somewhat in shock because why would anyone care about how I'm doing and take time out of their day to write or do anything for my sake?) but I want to say this did make me feel a lot better. not okay, but a lot better. /gen /pos

be kind to yourself. now hang on a minute didn't I write something literally about this-

oh. i guess i'm just not taking my own advice.

[aphel1on]

Dungeon Lords and the Human Need for Connection

When I came across these panels again the other day, it got me thinking about dungeon lord parallels again.

...And I spiraled until I was writing my thesis statement about how All Four Dungeon Lords (Yes, Even Laios, Stop leaving him out of these discussions) Are Actually the Same.

Firstly (because on some level everything is about Thistle to me) I thought about how the lion could have very likely given Thistle a similar offer when his loved ones started losing their souls/rebelling/etc. And yet, there is no sign that Thistle ever accepted such an offer, nor any sign that he used magic to forcibly change people's opinions, the way Marcille briefly threatened the party with while she was dungeon lord:

Instead, he ended up with the fucking dining table that drives me insane. Which probably means that either Thistle rejected the offer, or the lion sensed it wouldn't go over well and didn't even try it.

Making replicas of people doesn't seem to be an uncommon part of granting the dungeon lord's wishes. In his time, Mithrun actually took the demon up on it:

(Not pictured; the infamous lamia-version of his love interest.)

What makes Mithrun different from Thistle and Marcille in this instance is that Thistle and Marcille both became dungeon lords for the sake of specific people. Both were motivated by the terror of losing their most important people, and both told themselves everything they did was for the sake of protecting those people.

Because they were motivated by genuine love, copies or mind manipulation were not palatable. I think Thistle even in the late stages of his madness probably would not find these to be acceptable solutions. No matter how twisted, possessive, and obsessive his love became under the dungeon's influence, it was still from the fear of losing those original, irreplaceable people that he was doing all this. Even as his relationship with Delgal and the other Melinis fell apart over the years... even as he was left with only their soulless bodies... he would still rather cling to whatever was left.

Perhaps on some level, Thistle recognized the same thing that kept Marcille from following through with her threats:

Even in the state of endlessly chasing their desires as dungeon lords, they couldn't feel truly okay accomplishing it that way.

For Mithrun, meanwhile, the people in his fantasy world were a means to an end. It was all-encompassing insecurity and the pain of not being wanted that led him to become dungeon lord. His desire was not fixated on any specific people - it was broad enough and desperate enough that anyone could fulfill it. The thing is, Mithrun prior to becoming dungeon lord was by all accounts well-liked. But his emotional walls were up so high that not a single one of his admirers could make him feel known and cared for. The kind of crushing perfectionism he exhibited in that stage of his life often comes with a silent and equally crushing imposter syndrome. No one actually knew him, because Mithrun didn't let them, even though every aspect of his personality then was a desperate plea to be seen and liked. I think the sad truth is that, by the time he became dungeon lord, Mithrun didn't truly believe that happiness was something that could be found in other people. (It's telling that his wish was for a world in which he had never been discarded; perhaps for a world in which he never felt the need to put up those masks.)

In this respect, Mithrun is actually more alike to Laios than he is to Thistle and Marcille.

Laios was told again and again by the world that it was wrong to be who he was - that he was unlikeable when he acted the way that came naturally to him. The lion didn't bother asking Laios about replicas; those would be meaningless to him. Like Mithrun, Laios had lost all hope of being liked for who he was, but took it one step further: Laios had lost hope that he could find happiness in the human world entirely. At that point, all he wanted was an escape. To leave the pain of the human world behind and become someone, something, different. All he really needed in order to be tempted into it was the assurance that his friends would be safe.

All four of these stories have a pretty obvious throughline when you think about it: the deep, intrinsic need for human connection and what happens to someone when that need cannot be met.

All four of them were starving for connection. All four of them experienced alienation and isolation that made them desperate enough to turn to the demon.

Marcille (a half-elf whose unstable aging left her without peers) and Thistle (raised as the only elf in a kingdom of humans) both formed intense attachments to the few people they did become close to, and went off the deep end from fear of losing them.

Mithrun and Laios were both rejected by others for aspects of themselves that were out of their control, and tried to cope by developing masks that left them unable to feel accepted by the people still in their lives.

...So it's fitting, then, that genuine human connection is also what saved all four of them in the end.

(Thistle is a little arguable here; I personally don't think he died, but even if you do believe he died at the end of the manga- Yaad being able to connect and empathize with him is what gave him peace and solace in his final moments.)

Dungeon Meshi is about alienation and connection as much as it is about food and cycles of life. (Or more like, these themes are masterfully intertwined - food is used to represent love and connection over and over again. But that's a whole essay in and of itself!)

[blissfullyecho]

What do you do for work and whats your advice on becoming better in your work life?

Leveling Up In Business & Career ——

I worked in healthcare for the last 2 years and decided I wanted flexibility and more opportunity. I’m in luxury real estate and yacht sales, but I have a few strategic investments that keep my money working while I focus on building my career. My career is all about creating a life that most people can only dream of—and I’m just getting started (I’m about 8 months into it). I don’t settle for mediocrity, and you shouldn’t either. If you’re not aiming for the top, what’s the point?

Here’s my advice: become obsessed with being the best at what you do. In luxury real estate and yacht sales, you’re not just selling properties or boats; you’re selling an entire lifestyle—the lifestyle. If you can’t match the level of excellence your clients are seeking, then you’re already losing. People buy from the person who embodies what they want, so become that person. Your energy has to reflect the caliber of the product you’re offering. Let’s say you’re a doctor or a nurse: sorry but I’m not going to take my health seriously if my doctor or my nurse looks like they don’t take care of themselves. No matter the job or career you have, you have to match the ultimate goal of the client or customer you have. The problem is: you can’t fake it. You have to be authentic because people can sniff out fakeness and imposter syndrome quicker than ever these days.

When it comes to your career, don’t wait for opportunities to find you—create them. Every day is a chance to outwork everyone else. Work smarter and harder than anyone in the room. Stay focused, stay sharp, and always push yourself to be better than you were yesterday. Don’t be afraid to stand out. If you’re not standing out, you’re blending in—and I’m sure you didn’t get into this to be average.

And, finally, confidence is everything. Own what you do, and be unapologetic about it. You deserve success, so start acting like it. Never let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong in the room with the most powerful people in the world. You’re already at the top—you just have to keep reminding the world of it.

[anyothercomments]

“S3 rayla would never” “arc 1 raylum would never have turned out like this”

Arc 2 raylum were what- 14 yrs old? S7 raylum r 16/17 ? Ur telling me that you think that two teenagers who are going to experience more trauma than most adults have to face, break up for 2ish years, go through another serving of trauma and get back together are gonna act the exact same way? Are going to interact the exact same way with each other and their loved ones? Are going to have the exact same values and insecurities?

S1 rayla hated her parents for abandoning the dragon queen, had a strained relationship with runaan where her self worth was constantly reliant on his approval, had never left xadia before and was convinced she was meant to be an assasin

S7 rayla has mourned 2 of her parents twice, one of them once. Has had to choose which to keep living. Has been banished from her home for 2 years. Banished herself from society for 1 ish year. Has killed a person. Has met humans. Has fought in wars.

S1 callum had like 3 friend, was constantly belittled, had 0 self esteem and lived an extremely sheltered life, feeling like an imposter the entire time as the orphan step prince.

S7 callum has found magic and rayla and wouldnt sacrifice them for anything - his relationship with both things sometimes manifests in unhealthy ways and he ends up selfishly prioritising the wrong thing some times but he’s a 17 yr old boy so that’s to be expected. He had an actual support system and whilst he still struggles with his self esteem, he’s overcome a lot of his imposter syndrome.

(Also may i just say why is everyone so anti callum wanting kids? Dude says a hypothetical about how interracial babies turn out differently and all of a sudden his character’s been ruined? So what if he actually wanted 10 kids? Doesnt mean he and rayla cant still both be the best mage and warrior the continent has ever seen before or whilst they have kids? )

And you mean to tell me you expect s7 rayla to have the exact same fears and insecurities as s1 rayla? To interact with her loved ones in the same way? To prioritise them the same? She has changed- for better or for worse. It’s ok to disagree with the way they wrote her but it gets on my nerves when people say “oh she wouldnt do that in s3”.

You mean to tell me that as a teen you never prioritised friends over family? You were perfectly emotionally adjusted and never made selfish decisions that meant you let a sibling down? That callum’s all of a sudden irredeemably evil because he decided to support rayla when he really should’ve stayed and helped ezran work through his emotions?

You mean to tell me that 17 year old you adamantly stands by all of your actions at 14 and has the exact same relationships with all your most important people? Cus if you do you were either a very emotionally mature 14 yr old or you were an incredibly immature 17 year old.

All of that to say that holding arc 2 raylum to arc 1 rayllum standards is just weird to me. They’ve both changed- for better or for worse- and if they had the exact same relationship after all that, then what was the point in making an arc 2? And i hope that their relationship develops in arc 3 as well.

[genericpuff]

Apollo, buddy, that was not very supportive, caring boyfriend of you.

It wasn't, but in his defense, he is "trying", it's just that he and Kore don't really exist in the same worlds and their perspectives aren't manifesting in the exact same way.

Apollo is someone who's basically a celebrity, he's lived in Olympus virtually his entire life and in that time he's gone through more of his fair share of "social media drama" where he's now, by and large, desensitized to it. His response to Kore's concerns do come across as very flippant, because to him, the drama is inevitable and fleeting. He's blocked many people and BEEN blocked, so now whenever stuff like that happens to him, it rolls right off him - or at the very least, he recovers pretty quickly - because, well, it's definitely not the first time, and it won't be the last, so why worry? Why not just roll with it and maybe share in a laugh over some petty online drama?

By and large, his practical advice underneath all the teasing and laughter isn't actually incorrect - under normal circumstances (as those are the circumstances Kore and Apollo are both applying due to not being aware of other factors at play such as the eye-pulling) Apollo is technically right that if Alex - and subsequently, Hades - suddenly ghosted Kore out of the blue without explanation, then clearly it was a one-sided relationship and Kore shouldn't waste her tears over someone who could dump her so easily. Though he's coming across as very inconsiderate towards Kore's feelings, his heart is in the right place. Even when he asks "wait you're actually upset??" it's not him being deluded to Kore's feelings - it's him realizing that what happened is actually deeply affecting her, she's not talking about what happened to talk shit or "spill the tea", she's talking about it because she's looking for comfort and validation, something Apollo typically isn't looking for whenever he's going through fallouts in his relationships.

Through his eyes, someone blocking him randomly out of the blue simply communicates, "That person clearly isn't on my level, so I guess it's better for them to haul themselves out of my life willingly before I throw them out forcefully." But through Kore's eyes, she's seeing herself as the reason for her own abandonment. She's not accustomed to the superficial norms of social media (or the vanity of the Olympians) and how they differ from how people typically behave in the Mortal Realm. She's never really experienced someone just disappearing from her life, at least not in this way. She can't just say "bye Felicia" as confidently and arrogantly as Apollo can. Though it's a dick move for Apollo to immediately jump to joking around / laughing in her face over the matter, that's just the coping mechanism he's accustomed to and he wrongly assumed that it would translate to Kore's situation as well.

That said, that's also under normal circumstances. There are obviously more complicated factors at play here (none more so than the eye-pulling torture) that explain both Alex's and Hades' perspectives as to why they're distancing themselves from Kore without notice. From Kore's perspective though - and by extension, Apollo's perspective, framed by Kore - she's being cut out of people's lives for reasons she doesn't know, and it's drudging up a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome and making her feel like it's all her fault.

And there's nothing worse than feeling like you're suffering consequences for things you aren't even entirely sure you did (or didn't do) in the first place.

Long tangent aside - Apollo is being supportive in the only way he knows how, and Kore is reacting in the only way she's ever known. Both Kore and Apollo have their own issues that they haven't healed from, issues that we'll be unpacking more as the series goes on. Though they both have similar trauma in regards to their past relationships and how they were raised, it's manifested in different ways - Kore is indecisive and terrified of committing to relationships out of fear of ruining them, while Apollo has built a shield of arrogant grandiose around him to prevent him from ever getting hurt again, even if it means looking/acting like an asshole.

This is also, by and large, why I don't make it a matter of "picking sides" when discussing Kore and Apollo. They both have reasons and explanations as to why they are the way that they are. They just aren't capable yet of bridging that gap and meeting in the middle - so it's currently creating a tense, unrecognized standoff between fight and flight.

[sexybluealienporn]

mouthwashing headcanons of ur fav character :3

Mouthwashing Headcanons

word count: 530 warnings: jimmy (per usual), mentions of drug use author's note: i dont really have a fav so i just did all of the characters, also so so sorry this took ages, i've been in a writing slump :( this is a lot shorter than i wanted it to be but i hope ya'll like it

Curly

I like to think that this mfer HATES tea like he only drinks coffee, and in a very specific way too. He prefers his coffee with three spoonfuls of sugar, a splash of milk, and liquid hazelnut creamer, you can't change my mind on this.

100% listens to The Smiths, his favourite song is Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

He likes to get high every once in a while. Curly can't handle stress well, so a blunt every now and then really helps take the load off.

He's the type of guy to not have favourites, save a few things. Favourite colour? "I don't know, I like them all." Favourite book? "I'm not sure. I don't really have one." Favourite song? "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths."

Jimmy

He definitely likes Nirvana and Radiohead. I also like to think he got Curly into The Smiths. Favourite songs from each band includes Heart-Shaped Box, Black Star, and I Know It's Over.

Jimmy, for some reason, hates it when people tell him about their dreams. He really couldn't care less about some "weird spiritual shit."

Habitual stoner, also introduced Curly to weed. This man is just an overall bad influence on Curly.

Jimmy knows the schedule of every crew member. It isn't because he cares, it's because knowing gives him a sense of control and security. He doesn't like not being in the know.

Daisuke

Barely billingual. He's a 2nd gen immigrant and he only knows English and a sprinkle of Japanese, it's a bit embarassing to him.

Daisuke 100% has imposter syndrome. He isn't used to things going right for him, it feels wrong and uncomfortable.

Bro is oblivious to any romantic advances thrown his way, even if it's the most obvious flirting you've ever seen in your life. He thinks it's all just friendly banter.

Physically can't sit properly. He always has to be leaning back, or have his leg tucked under his other leg, or just some weird pose. He also fidgets quite a bit.

Swansea

Lowkey can't spell "resturaunt." He won't ever admit it though. "I'm not wearing my glasses, that's why." and he doesn't even wear glasses.

He absolutely hates it when people are late to functions or don't follow given instructions correctly. He's very quick to get irritated.

Had to unlearn a bunch of behaviours once he had kids. It was a struggle, but he knew it he had to be better for his kids.

He's a big fan of Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton. It is legitimately the only country song he even remotely enjoys. Besides that, he mostly sticks to 70s-80s pop.

Anya

Anya's favourite brand of chips is Funyuns. She can go through an entire bag in one sitting, preferably while watching some shitty soap opera.

She likes to crochet every once in a while as a way to destress, sometimes crocheting her own clothes or blankets.

Had a minor goth phase in highschool. She mostly did toned down tradgoth makeup and wore all black outfits. She was goth on a budget.

Anya actually likes a lot of gacha app games, often spending some money here and there.

[chocolate-floof]

So while I'm literally punching air over my menstrual pain I thought up a Vought reader scenario with a little real life inspo and would love to see other expand on this idea if they also find it interesting or funny. So, reader ofc works for Vought, they don't really ever work with supes in person as their still climbing the corporate ladder but they do their job well. The only time they've ever spoke to anybody even remotely close to the seven was when Ashley had come to them to ask for an update on homelanders points, as they work on the social media team at Vought, their job in the team was to basically scrub the internet for the publics opinion on vought. They've seen some SHIT from it, including the more... Vulgar displays of the publics opinion from homelander, but they have have to persevere to get that sweet paycheck every Thursday. Growing up in a area where people are normally on the more 'family friendly' with the way they speak had left them severely underprepared for the confidence that the anonymity of the Internet gave people, which allowed them to say basically anything, and they certainly did. Sometimes leading them to go to the bathroom to try and stave of the nausea. They themselves are more of a loner, staying to themselves often time felling awkward and scared of talking their everyday coworker. Sleep deprivation and overworking themselves to try and run from the imposter syndrome constantly eating at them. Your average corporate wage slave one might say. But one day, waking up with a rare dose of confidence that lasted through out the day, they decided they were going to go to a small office party they were going to be having later on that night. They decided to wear a very ~complimenting~ outfit/dress when they go. Homelander is there, he doesn't have anything better to do and he's bored so he sits in on the party, watching. No one comes to him, everybody knows how he can be to those he deems lesser than him. They don't really think about this as they look at him sitting alone in the corner with a far off look in his eyes, their sympathy genuinely clouding their better judgement. They walk up to him unannounced, nearly startling him as they said "hi." in a quiet tone with a small smile. He looks over, suddenly hearing them next to him, further away than he had thought, it sounded like you had spoken directly into his ear. "Hello?" He said, genuinely confused at why you had just walked up to him. "A-are you enjoying the party?" They ask, trying to start a small conversation. He almost immediately snaps into his 'work face' "oh yeah, it's nice that you guys have these... Little.. get-togethers. I, uh.. I like the work you guys do here, you guys do... alot for Vought, we'd be NOWHERE without.. you guys!" He gives a little chuckle afterwards. They, immediately felt like the entire sentence was nearly.. rehearsed? Fake? It just wasn't right but they tried not to let their anxiety and paranoia get the best of them and respond with a "thank you, that definitely means a lot coming from you." They were fighting their nerves suddenly feeling cold all over. "I'm glad that I can help Mister.homelander, sir" they imagine slamming their face against every surface possible as they they choke, suddenly feeling like a golf ball was in their throat, sweat collecting in their hair. Before they can manage to squeeze anything out another man walk up to them, tapping them on the shoulder. They turn to him and he asks them out. They immediately feel the ball in their throat get even bigger, thinking of a way to get out, to just go before they suddenly burst into tears. "N-No..." They say before just turning and walking out as fast as they could straight to the elevators and back home. homelander was very confused at what had just happened, how quick their emotions had just rose and fallen in quick succession suddenly feeling his curiosity peaked. The next day he comes to visit the office area, asking for you describing your appearance.

"Oh you mean y/n? Their fucking tweaking in the bathroom right now" answer one of them

"what?"

"Their freaking out." They supply

"Why?"

"read this."

"WHAT THE FUCK"

[justgivemethephd]

20.01.2025

Happy Monday everyone!

Now that I'm not sick anymore I really feel like I have my life back. I had a very chilled weekend, so I'm feeling pretty refreshed. I spent all of Saturday evening baking sweet treats for the friends I play D&D with, and needless to say they were a hit! I have now been asked to bake for every single session, so if anyone has suggestions on what I should make next feel free to share! I have a lot of grown men to feed, apparently.

Today was a long but quite productive day. Performed a buffer exchange assay for the first time, absolutely fought for my life to run a gel that for some reason refused to run (I think it was leaking honestly...), and managed to write the entire discussion section of my upgrade report. Granted, I only wrote 1300 words, but that still feels pretty good for one day considering I also wasted some time fixing a figure for my results section. I think I'm on track to finish my first full draft of the report by the end of the week, which means I can give it a little proofread and then send it to one of the postdocs in my lab for corrections. I asked her to be harsh, but now I'm scared she's going to come back and say that I'm bad at writing, or something like that. I wonder why it's so hard to appreciate your own writing... I always feel like everything I say is pure nonsense! Imposter syndrome ftw, I guess.

In other big news, I've officially started my running journey! I managed to run 4.59km in just over 30 mins, which isn't nearly as terrible as I thought I would do for a complete beginner. I've created a plan for myself to slowly build up to a half marathon over the next few months, and I'm really really excited to see where all of this takes me. I know it's not study related, but it's certainly self-improvement which I do feel like has its place here. Anyway, I look forward to giving you guys updates!

Let's kill it this week guys! And good luck to all those who are back in school/uni now. You got this!

_____

🎧 - Real Man by beabadoobee (that whole album is so good hooooly)

🎮 - Baldur's Gate 3

📖 - Brief Answers to the Big Questions by Stephen Hawking

[the-xolotl]

What I think your Hazbin Hotel fav says about you

Pt. I ; Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, Lucifer, Angel

A/N: these are entirely my opinions based on what each of the characters have meant for me. i’m a psych major and like doing lil analysis of things so it’s for funsis nothing else XD and i’m writing these with adult personalities in mind ! just fyi

it’s kinda long, fair warning, lots of text.

—• TAGS: none, completely sfw

ᯓ፥Charlie ꪆ

Starting off with the MC herself; I can see her being a fav bc you are the sunshine coded individual that likes to do things diplomatically first, handles situations with words first and foremost as well as enthusiasm and optimism. You’ll always see the bright side of things and like to see the good in people.

So probably relate a lot to her.

You have a tendency to put others way above yourself and your own needs, most of the time unconsciously so.

Maybe you’re the mom-friend of the group. You’re the most caring and giving out of your surrounding friends or family.

Which kinda makes me think you may have a mix of daddy and mommy issues.

However sometimes your kindness is taken for weakness and naivety when that couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re not unaware of the world around you, in fact you’re probably someone who understands a little too good, so you choose to give positivity to the sea of negativity.

You’re highly emotionally intelligent, mature and likely find yourself always taking the reign in things. You’re a doer, determined to see everything you put your mind to to completion, lots of initiative in many aspects.

A WORKAHOLIC. Completely unaware of that aspect tho. Or just unintentionally so. Bc you are so determine on projects you give 120% and don’t stop until it’s completed.

You probably find comfort in her character in some ways; either bc you see yourself in her or strive to find a person like her who will see your redeeming qualities when you can’t, and want to help you grow as a person.

You aren’t a strict planner or someone who sticks 100% with a plan but do like to have an outline at least. Even if you have to improv further down the line at least you have an idea of wtf you’re doing.

So you can also roll with being spontaneous, you can easily think of a loose path to follow and roll with it whenever.

You’re very enjoyable company !! Smile and laugh is contagious, it’s impossible to not feel good around you.

ᯓ፥Vaggie ꪆ

You struggle a lot with imposter’s syndrome so let me be the one to tell you; you deserve good things, you belong in good places and with the people you love and love you back.

You’re likely the person everyone turns to for a voice of reason.

You’re very headstrong, you’re the decision maker in whatever circle you run.

Ms./Mr./Mx. Hyper-Independent™️

You’re likely also the mediator. Are you the middle child in your family?

You’re a perfectionist to a fault, and fear failure. Sometimes you need a little reassurance.

However, you’re an exceptional lover. You’re loyal, attentive, your love language might be acts of service and/or words of affirmation.

You greatly value those around you and just want to help them be successful.

Sometimes you’re too strict with yourself, even with others but you mean well.

Despite anything though, you have a pretty firm grasp in your sense of self, you know who you are and what you want in life.

You stand up for yourself, you don’t let anyone push you around; you’re the scary dog privileges.

And even if you sometimes come across as hard around the edges, you’re quite soft on the inside. You still choose to act with kindness even if someone doesn’t deserve it. But you’re good at killing with kindness.

You give me Taurus energy. And despite the bullet-point above you have made grown men cry. You’re kind but you are capable of hurting with your words if you so choose.

ᯓ፥Alastor ꪆ

I’ll just get it out of the way: raging daddy issues

But the kind of daddy issues that come from resentment and anger at a fatherly figure or men that remind you of that fatherly figure.

You neither want fatherly comfort nor find someone that is a good fatherly figure. You don’t need it, you’ve been this long without it so what’s the point ?

Maybe you’re likely even the type of person who comforts others but don’t want/let others comfort you. You don’t need others, others need you.

You value your privacy, very reserved about your personal life. Keeping everything close to the vest do to the load of trust issues you carry.

Definitely into older partners (more specifically older men)

Unless you don’t do dating or physical relationships. In this case you maybe find yourself being the older friend of a group of friends.

You don’t have a parental bone in your body but you have this innate need to make sure others never feel the way you did; alone, helpless. This whether you admit it or not.

Much like our resident Radio Demon you have an appreciation for the entertainment and may take some sadistic pleasure in watching the people you don’t care for fail (especially those who have wrong you in the past).

But if not giving a fuck was an olympic sport you’d be a gold medalist. You are winning the 'idgaf war' every time, bc you don’t need to retaliate immediately when someone does do you wrong either, remaining unbothered knowing that person will do themselves in.

You like to play the long game in some situations, waiting for the right time to make a move.

You don’t have time for bullshit, time costs and yours comes at a high rate. You rather get to the point than run circles. And the biggest pet-peeve is getting lead on in any way just to ultimately waste your time and get nothing out of it.

In most circumstances you don’t do anything without receiving a benefit from it unless it’s the people you truly care about. Everything has a price, a lot of things you do are for self fulfillment (Not in a negative way. You value yourself and know your worth)

You’re also a go-getter. Not waiting around for opportunities to just fall on your lap you go and make your own opportunities and open your own doors.

However one of your biggest flaws is overestimating yourself which ultimately leads you to feel like you failed at something when really you didn’t, you didn’t reach the intended goal even if the outcome was fine. Pride comes before the fall, for sure (And you’re trying to work on it. Kinda).

But you do have an issue with feeling like you’re absolutely invincible no matter what.

You have your own skeletons in the closet. Things you don’t like looking back on, decisions you regret to this day bc they shaped more of your life than you intended. But here you are persevering in one piece. If maybe a little jaded to the world around you, but in one piece. Good job.

ᯓ፥Lucifer ꪆ

You and Alastor fans are two sides of the same coin but with marked differences.

Daddy issues here too, but the ones who actually want a good fatherly figure. One you often find from a mentor or someone to give you affection and/or guidance.

You’re less likely to seek these out in romantic relationships as really what you want is to heal your inner child.

You heard More Than Anything, cried bc it’s a beautiful song than cried harder wondering why couldn’t someone love you like that.

More than anything (ba-dum-tsss) you crave to be protected, you can do it yourself, you have been. But you’re tired. You want someone else to do it for a changed, see you for who you are and love you unconditionally.

I have the feeling you’re the oldest child of a broken home that had to be a 3rd parent at a young age to your even younger siblings and it hurt like a bitch having to leave them once you were able to get out of your parent’s house. But you couldn’t stay there a second longer.

It’s also likely in your upbringing you were seen as the black sheep of the family, whatever the reason may have been. That’s something that still hurts to this day even through the no-contact you’ve likely established.

You have a lot of love to give but often don’t know how to express it or measure it. In the sense that you love too hard or too little, but you care so much. You really do.

And this is why you probably have a lot of people coming to your for a shoulder to cry on, because what you will do is protect the ones you care about the way you wish someone did you in your worse times. This is where your over abundance of love comes the most handy.

BUT behind all of this there’s also a high spirit that can be the life of any party. You have a unique magnetism and easy going personality despite anything that makes people gravitate towards you.

ᯓ፥Angel ꪆ

You have likely been through some awful shit (I’m sorry you had to go through that, me too 🫂) and that has shaped you a lot as a person today.

Probably came out of those experiences a hyper sexual that has to constantly advocate for those of us who don’t cope the same ways others do.

Angel is like a breath of fresh air because for once you get to see a representative whose bad experiences aren’t romanticized or glamorized.

The level at which you relate to him when he yelled “It’s not an act! It’s who I need to be!” was spiritual and it left you a little broken bc you likely use your persona as a shield bc if you don’t laugh you’ll cry

You don’t like letting your past define you but the line between who you are and who’s the persona built for the public keeps thinning more and more.

The trust issues you carry are so deep sometimes you accidentally push people you care about and who care about you away.

Because you do care, so much but it’s hard to let people in not knowing who’s truly going to treat you well.

Sometimes the only was you let in are the ones who go above and beyond to climb the tall thick walls you’ve put around yourself.

But life has made you strong, resilient. You know how to defend yourself and you take no shit from anyone.

You either want Angel’s rambunctious confidence or you have it and know how to work it. (work it 💅)

Don’t forget you’re more than what you can offer people. There’s genuine value in you as the person you are, not for what you can offer.

a/n: thank you for reading. i’ll probably take a while to upload the next parts tbh !

—

© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.

[merwgue]

(This is neither a pro nor anti post. It's just me analysing what's written about cassians' personality and fears OBJECTIVELY and trying to understand why he acts a certain way. do with that what you will, if this reaches you amd you dont like it, cope.)

So, my dad and I had a very serious discussion about ACOSF, you know, the important things in life. And we got stuck on Cassian because, honestly, that guy is just…weird. You can’t just throw around terms like “weapons master” and “commander” and then act like a brooding teenager who's constantly seeking approval. And then I wondered—what did make Cassian turn out like this? Is there a support group somewhere for fae males who struggle with validation issues? I’m starting to think there should be.

Don’t get me wrong, I love sarcastically hating on Cassian—especially when I joke about hoping Elain’s prophecy comes true and makes things a little more interesting. But when I pause the snark for a second, I can’t help but think it’s kind of sad, really. Cassian’s situation is actually tragic if you break it down.

Cassian, in many ways, is a victim of his own insecurities and the society he’s grown up in. He’s constantly trying to fit in but never quite gets there. He’s always trying to please someone, especially Rhysand. There’s this deep-rooted need for validation—probably stemming from his childhood as a bastard in Illyria—where he was treated like an outsider. Psychologically, this is a textbook case of someone with low self-esteem. He’s never really believed he deserved to be in the position he’s in, and it shows in the way he talks about himself, constantly referring to himself as a “brute” or a “bastard-born warrior.” That’s classic negative self-talk right there, and if you don’t accept yourself, it’s impossible to truly accept others.

Cassian doesn’t just want to belong. He wants to be seen as more than the brute he calls himself. He’s constantly aware of this divide between who he thinks he is (a muscle-bound, lowborn warrior) and who he wants to be (someone Rhysand can rely on and the mate Nesta can respect). And this is where it gets interesting because this isn’t just insecurity. Cassian is caught in an identity crisis—he’s trapped in the psychology of cognitive dissonance.

Let’s break this down. Cognitive dissonance is when someone holds conflicting beliefs or attitudes, and it leads to mental discomfort. In Cassian’s case, it’s the belief that he’s just a brute, a soldier, a low-born bastard—juxtaposed against the role he’s trying to play: a respected commander in Rhysand’s court and Nesta’s equal. He knows he doesn’t quite fit into this polished world, but instead of working through these feelings of inadequacy and dealing with his imposter syndrome, he clings to this role while tearing himself apart internally.

And here’s the kicker: validation-seeking behavior runs deep with Cassian. Everything he does, from his attempts to train Illyrians to the way he handles himself in the Inner Circle, is driven by his need to prove his worth. And this need for external validation is so strong that it blinds him to the toxic dynamics he’s enabling. He can’t protect Nesta from Rhysand because he’s spent his entire life trying to earn Rhysand’s approval. So when push comes to shove, Cassian defaults to the behaviors that have kept him in the Inner Circle’s good graces—being Rhysand’s loyal brute, a yes-man who ignores the fact that the power dynamics around him are actually pretty messed up.

Now, we’ve got to address the elephant in the room. I get it—Cassian should absolutely be defending Nesta from Rhysand’s controlling behavior. And while I totally agree with that sentiment, let’s really think about why he doesn’t. The simple answer? He can’t. Why? Because Cassian has spent centuries bending over backward to gain Rhysand’s validation. Cassian’s sense of self-worth is so tangled up in Rhysand’s approval that he doesn’t want to jeopardize that hard-earned status by going against him. It’s the classic case of dependency theory—Cassian’s entire self-concept is tied to this external source of validation. If he loses that, what’s left?

This isn’t just about power dynamics; it’s also about Cassian’s own emotional immaturity and insecurity. Cassian desperately wants to be seen as worthy—worthy of being High Fae, worthy of being part of the Inner Circle, worthy of being Nesta’s mate. But deep down, he’s terrified that he’s not. This makes his character less of the confident warrior we’re supposed to root for and more of a man who is constantly trying to prove something, even to people who already care about him. He’s perpetually stuck in a cycle of self-doubt, seeking external validation instead of working on internal healing.

So even if we suspend disbelief for a moment and say that Nessian could work as a couple, it’s just not the right time. Nesta has her own emotional baggage, and Cassian has to get over his own issues of insecurity and unworthiness. Both of them need to heal individually before they can even think about being healthy partners for each other. Cassian needs to stop trying to please everyone—especially Rhysand—and start working on his own self-acceptance. Until he does that, any relationship he’s in, whether it’s with Nesta or anyone else, is going to be built on shaky ground.

In conclusion, while it’s fun to joke about Cassian’s flaws, when you dig deeper, you see that his issues run much deeper than just being a brute with muscles. His insecurities, his constant need for validation, and his inability to stand up for the people he loves are all signs that he’s not ready for a healthy relationship. If anything, Cassian’s story should have been less about romance and more about the journey to self-acceptance, which, let’s be real, is a long time coming for him. To love someone, you need to love yourself first.

[404deus]

Used to be a big fan of your old art style. Initially I was excited to see you return back to drawing, but the art deprovement is real… You lost the appeal in your old art style, it used to be charming with the messy sketch lines and special effects. Now it’s just janky and strangely neat in a revolting way. It’s Always sad to see artists that are not young anymore just getting worse at their craft as they grow older. Shame. You fell off big time. Your old art used to get so much more attention, and now with your “new art style” it’s just crumbs of what you used to have.

hmm… i think it’s ok to prefer my older art style, my style is always changing n growing in different directions ! sometimes it might not be the way that clicks w u anymore, and that’s ok. i wanna take some time to share my art journey with u anon, not looking to change ur mind but i thought it’d be interesting to go down memory lane and my thought processes — gonna be under a read more since this will b a long post

my art journey has been a long one for me… i have been drawing since i was a dumb teenager and man did i struggle with finding a style back then. this was my art when i was 17-19, it wasn’t anything consistent bc it was just me practicing the styles of the artists i looked up to at that time. i rmb feeling insecure bc i felt that my art skill was so ass compared to much younger artists in the fandom at that point of time, but i told myself to just continue trying my best n eventually i’ll figure out an art style i could call my own

when i was 20-22, i got into the OMORI fandom and i loved the art style so much. most of my art style transitioning then was very heavily referenced off the official game art. it’s the art that most people loved the most, as you mentioned! i’m still very fond of it looking back at it, and it’ll always hold a dear place in my heart :]

i stopped drawing for a year or so when i was 22-24, i did try to come back once but it didn’t last long. i was going through a very rough patch in my life (bad breakup, transitioning to adulthood, health issues) and i genuinely thought abt quitting art. i was getting alot of my art stolen and resold on platforms like temu, aliexpress n there was nothing i could do about it, i felt extremely frustrated and helpless u__u i also went thru a huge identity crisis and felt a lot of imposter syndrome for getting attention for my art when it felt like i was just ripping off the game’s art style. i was constantly consumed and overwhelmed by numbers and engagement as my account grew, i felt bad for drawing anything that wasn’t OMORI because its the fandom that helped me grow a following in the first place. everything combined, i felt very burnt out and my mental health was dropping steadily; i slowly stopped finding joy in art and gradually stopped drawing entirely.

i recently turned 25 and i did miss creating art after being on such a long art hiatus, so i decided to return and come back with a new sense of direction and determination to follow thru w it. i wanted to just stop caring abt numbers and not let it consume me entirely like it did in the past. i wanted to draw and create art for fandoms that inspired me and that i enjoyed, not limiting myself to just one fandom. OMORI will always be one of my art muses and i will continue to create pieces every so often relating to it — but i also want to be able to draw for other interests too!

i may not receive the same enthusiasm and following that i used to have, and my current art style may not appeal to my old audience and that’s ok!! i know my art improvement isn’t the fastest, i’m a very slow learner. i’m taking my own time and pace to enjoy my creative processes and i’m learning to love art and creating again, that’s what matters more to me than some arbitrary numbers.

i hope that provides some insight about my art journey! also, 25 isn’t that old. i’ll let u know when i start turning to dust or something so u can contribute to an urn for me 😌✊

[ashen-vulture]

A Vulture In Therapy #3

The Appointment (Well, In A Few Months)

ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:15 AM

Hey so guess who just heard back from Doctor Erian's clinic after a month of waiting in the dark. I'm not scheduled until November, though Probably was too hopeful of me to think I'd have an appointment before my birthday

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:17 AM Nice! Do you have an appointment then? Oh, heck, that's a ways off ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:18 AM November 14th, yeah But I guess it gives me time to prepare So… what should I expect going in? I've heard mixed things about Doctor Erian… tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:19 AM Oh boy that's the big question isn't it So for me, and I think for a lot of other people, he went right into the gatekeepy "one letter from a physician, two letters from psychologists, live as your preferred species for however many months" ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:21 AM He can't be too bad right? Oh yeah I've heard about the "live as preferred species" thing. Not sure he'll accept my response but that's one of the few things I am prepared for. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:22 AM The thing is, I'm pretty sure it's all a secret test of your resolve and how well you match what you want He started hesitating once I got up in his face about how someone is supposed to live as a dragon for an entire year And he folded like a towel once I threatened to bite him But I saw him smirk, I think it was that I said 'bite' specifically ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:26 AM Huh. I guess I have some respect for that. Maybe a bitter respect but… uhg, I dunno, it's complicated. Like there are some things I certainly cannot physically do with my human body and that's the whole reason I want what I want. I really don't like arguing. This is gonna feel like my gallery capstone all over again. "No seriously I do know what I'm talking about, see it from this perspective" (strangling the Imposter Syndrome demon in the back of my head)

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:27 AM Yeah I don't know if he would have approved it if I'd shown any kind of doubt But maybe it's different for non-predator theriotypes idk ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM Maybe. I wonder how they'll handle a scavenger. I guess there's only one way to know. Oh, do you know when you'll get your first prescription fill? Does it take a long time? tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM I'm supposed to get it in September, apparently if you're on gender hormones you have to wait for the one year mark, something about being 'biologically receptive' But you won't have that issue so you might get yours a lot sooner ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM I suspect part of the wait is having to formulate each therian's medicine individually. Giving me cat HRT probably isn't gonna turn me into a bird. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM Yeah I guess this isn't One Size Fits Most like normal estrogen and testosterone are ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:36 AM Well. Nothing to do but wait now. Maybe getting on some of the Therian HRT support groups and hearing some more people's stories will help. Thanks for your input, hope your new therapy medicine arrives on time I might pester you with more questions in the future tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:37 AM Anytime! I'd be glad to help you along on this one ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM ^v^ (I've started using bird emoticons more, it's fun!) tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM I mean, you know how long I've been using cat emotes =3 So I get that

ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM

FIRST CONSULTATION APPOINTMENT TOMORROW WISH ME LUCK AAAAAAA- It's actually happening! It's actually happening!

tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM Gee I can't tell, are you excited? =3 ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:04 PM I am Anxcited Question: would it be considered too much if I came in with a folder of vulture facts outlining how similar humans and vultures are to each other, and how I've techincally been "living like a vulture" basically my entire life understanding that the parameters I need to fulfill exclude things that would literally kill me Because I already have the folder but now I'm second guessing myself and I can FEEL THE ANXIOUS INFODUMP INSTINCT I am either gonna say nothing at all or way too much HELP tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:07 PM Do it. Slap that gatekeepy doctor with every Cool Vulture Fact in your birb cranium Might improve your odds tbh ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You are a cool and awesome friend and I am glad I have you to encourage me when I am a scattered anxious mess Thank you Alexis tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You've got this Ash I believe in you =3

(featuring my long time friend and the person who acted as my gate into therian HRT, @tigergirltail)

[horizon-verizon]

I'm still on my self-imposed Tumblr writing break but I had to share this comedy gold mine where Condal tells us all about "impostor syndrome" before I'm overtaken by the urge to write an essay on it instead. I have no time to cook. Fortunately, we've been served a meal on a silver platter.

https://bigthink.com/high-culture/house-of-the-dragon-ryan-condal/

House of the Dragon, which premiered in 2022, might have continued that [Game of Thrones] trend. Instead, the show proved a return to form, offering the same Shakespearean dialogue and political intrigue that made people fall in love with Martin’s fictional universe back in 2011. The second season is just as good, if not better.

I can see that this is going to be a very fair assessment of Condal and his work.

“Every day,” Condal confesses when asked if he suffers from imposter syndrome. “For me, though, it was less the scale and scope of House of the Dragon and more its visibility that intimidated me."

😭😭😭 It's okay! He wasn't worried about whether he'd do a good job! He was just worried about how visible his ingenious work would be.

Appointed for his encyclopedic knowledge of Martin’s oeuvre, Condal has — in his own words — “played with fire” without getting burned. In the following interview, he demonstrates his mastery of Westerosi lore and explains why all history – real or imagined – ultimately amounts to propaganda.

The business major is about to tell us about historiography. The question is, does he understand historiography? Or does he think he's inventing a new concept?

Condal is a relative newcomer to television. In his previous life, he graduated from Villanova University with an accounting degree and spent eight years working in pharmaceutical advertising — quite different from working as a Hollywood showrunner, but not entirely unrelated.

Yes, we know. It's actually very related. Especially the way Condal does it. I'll also point out here that his university was a private Catholic institution. I don't feel the need to connect those dots right now.

"I also learned to compromise, adapting your writing to clients who aren’t always going to love your brilliant, avant-garde choices. That’s the talent-studio relationship, right there."

I... this tells us two things about the writing process and attitude behind it. Two things we already knew. But... it's sure telling.

"I was able to navigate challenges that some of my colleagues with filmmaking and art history degrees maybe weren’t prepped for."

In theory, nothing wrong with this^ statement. But in context...

While some criticism is valuable, too much can lead to creative paralysis. “I tend more towards the negative than the positive, so I made a conscious decision to stay away from social media when I got this job,” Condal says. If anything, he believes the healthy distance he maintains between himself and his audience has improved the show: “Audiences think they know what they want, but sometimes, they have to be given what they need instead."

I repeat my prior sentiment.

Ultimately, Condal’s own passion for Martin’s writing outweighed any doubt he had about his own. “I’m trying to make the type of show I would enjoy as a fan, which I am. And while I realize my ideal fan show will be different from someone else’s, I still think that it’s a good true north heading on my compass. Actually, I think that’s why HBO hired me in the first place.”

Oh, we know.

“It was hugely intimidating, moving to a new country [the U.K.] and working with a new but also hugely talented crew that I had to — not tell them what to do, exactly, but lead them; collaborate with them. I definitely had to earn my place, but think that — because I came in with a clear vision of what I wanted for the show — those relationships were easy to establish.”

Make it stop.

The most important part of making a successful fantasy show isn’t the sets, costumes, or special effects, but lore. Fictional places like Westeros have their own unique cultures, customs, and social institutions, all of which help create the illusion that this fantasy world is as real and complex as our own. To transfer that illusion from page to screen, the writers must know Martin’s work as thoroughly as Martin himself. “It’s not just me,” Condal says. “We are all deeply entrenched fans of George. One of our writers has worked with him for many years. If I’m a graduate in Westeros studies, she’s an archmaester,” referring to the order of academics sworn to advise and educate Westeros’ nobility.

Well that explains why they're worse than Gyldayn.

Condal: “Textual references are best done in light touches to remind people that this is a fully realized society with hundreds of years of mapped-out history to it. And you don’t need an entire scene to do that. Instead of writing, you can communicate details environmentally through props like heraldry. For the fans, these little touches tell them they are in good hands. Better yet, they know the details are there just for them, the hardcore fans. For everyone else, the casual viewers, this stuff is flying by 100 miles an hour, and they probably won’t notice it. But it’s there.”

Again, there's nothing wrong with this^ in theory. In. Theory.

“I’m definitely an architect,” says Condal, “and I think I have to be as a screenwriter, because our life is so deadline-driven. The literal definition of a playwright, W-R-I-G-H-T, is ‘one who builds plays.’ A dramatic writer is almost by necessity a structuralist, and I very much fall into that camp.”

Now wait for it... wait for it... Keep in mind these are Brinkhof's (article author) words. But wait for it.

Martin, by contrast, identifies as a gardener. While this writing style — with its many unexpected twists, turns, and deaths — helps explain what made Game of Thrones so successful, it may also have been responsible for the show’s eventual downfall. Sticking to Martin’s analogy, “gardening stories” grow like trees, their narratives branching out in an exponential number of paths, making them difficult to finish. As of today, Martin has spent more than 14 years on the next installment in the Song of Ice and Fire series, his prolonged bout of writer’s block forcing Weiss and Benioff to come up with their own ending.

No words. Now back to Condal.

“The advantage we have over them is that we’re dealing with a finished text, where they were working with an unfinished, living work,” Condal says. “Where the Game of Thrones team had to trim down 5,000 pages into a few dozen scripts, we’re challenged in the opposite direction, turning around 100 pages into a multi-season arc of television, and that requires a lot of invention.”

Oh? So... you do know where it's going. Which means your "inventions" should... probably lead there?

Condal treats Fire & Blood like a real-world historian might treat a manuscript from the Middle Ages. “These three writers all had personal agendas which, to me, seem to reflect one of the main themes of our show: powerful women living in an unbreakable patriarchy. The writers, particularly the priest, appear to blame the war on the squabbling between Rhaenyra and Alicent.”

No comment for now. No... comment...

House of the Dragon pretends to show the real history that Fire & Blood recorded and distorted. Some events happen the way the one of the three authors describe it, while others contain elements of all three conflicting accounts. Others still indicate that none of them got it right. As a rule, every character in the show is far more complex than the jester, maester, and priest made them out to be.

I... I... I... I... I...

“Alicent can be the stereotypical evil stepmother at times,” says Condal, “just as King Viserys, played by Paddy Considine in season 1, can come across at weak. However, the thing that in-universe historians don’t get about Viserys is that he was carrying the burden of a prophecy passed down through generations and couldn’t tell anybody about it. A lot of his supposedly weak decision-making was actually in service of this secret prophecy. We were trying to show that there was more to him, that multiple things about him could be true at the same time.”

Must... Resist... Urge... To... Write... Essay...

“We have to arrive at the same endpoint as the book,” he reminds himself. “Whoever George said becomes king must become king at the end of the war. Hopefully, though, we have a bit of latitude leading up to that, to show how history has been interpreted differently at different times by different historians. I realize I’m playing with fire, but it does excite and fascinate me — to be able to comment on how history is made, not just this fictional history, but all history. It’s all propaganda to some degree.”

😭 The clownery.

Historiographers weep.

@rhaenin-time, you must be stopped. Ryan should be , too, but you have decided to bring me in close proximity to this nonsense. I am sitting here, eating chewy ChipsAhoy, and you came in here like a wrecking ball with this news....I hate you. [read, this is a joke]

I don't think I'll be able to address every thing I want to address in this. I want to be done with this show, I have been tired since the 6th epi of the last season.

Condal is a relative newcomer to television. In his previous life, he graduated from Villanova University with an accounting degree and spent eight years working in pharmaceutical advertising — quite different from working as a Hollywood showrunner, but not entirely unrelated. [...]

I also learned to compromise, adapting your writing to clients who aren’t always going to love your brilliant, avant-garde choices. That’s the talent-studio relationship, right there. [...] Audiences think they know what they want, but sometimes, they have to be given what they need instead."

Who tf does this man think he is?!!! Yes, I needed mother-son coochie eating. I needed to have a brown girl erased for a rapist to become a family man with a sick child. I needed Cole fucking Alicent at least 3 times instead of a brown haired Targ make instrumental alliances with more people to add to his stepfather's armies in the Riverlands. I needed to see nonexistent and sterile parallels. I needed to see a black woman be burned alive when she actually died at least surrounded by family, her ignored by her husband so his later marriage to a white girl be that much more special. I needed to see a disabled man jerk it over a queen's bare feet like she's in OnlyFans and doesn't know where her next meal is. I needed to see a pretteen prince jerk it over a window and barely even tell what his brother was doing later with Vhagar, instead of another preteen girl bond with the most powerful dragon of the then living ones. I needed to see a woman so much more hypocritical than her book counterpart be framed as one of the wisest women to exist while she praises Jaehaerys I of all people for having a peaceful reign, as if his decision to have that council has no responsibility for the now burgeouning war--OR that she still wouldn't be more resentful of Jaehaerys' actions ot pass her over, yes even now when they are deliberating war..bc praising Jaehaerys itself is NOT as important or more moral than her feeling "some type of way"...why did we need Jaehaerys praise now instead fo actual strategy?!--coming up right now.

He can't even properly write character ACTION as opposed to REACTION (Seth Abramson's article on substack):

Appointed for his encyclopedic knowledge of Martin’s oeuvre, Condal has — in his own words — “played with fire” without getting burned. In the following interview, he demonstrates his mastery of Westerosi lore and explains why all history – real or imagined – ultimately amounts to propaganda.

And yet Daemon dislikes his daughter or grow impatient with her bec she doesn't have a dragon....while he only claimed one at 16 or a bit younger with Caraxes AND Targs don't actually bond with dragons in the cradle that often, actually usually doing it in preteens to teens AND Aegon I definitely had to bond later in life as well. And said that Aegon I lived/was alive when Old Valyria still existed. Allowed Criston Cole to be called Dornish both by Alicent and the fans without giving us any explanation or exploration of that identity esp when canonically he came from the Stormlander part of the Dornish Marches. "Encyclopedic" my nonexistent ballsack! He has no authority to claim that F&B is so unreliable that he can't tell truth form agenda-motivated fiction and then claim himself intelligent or "brilliant" at the same time!

"avant-garde"...yes bc it's so revoluntionary and creative to have a man lick his former home from his own mother in a "vision". As if making a woman her son's character tool wasn't something HBO already did with its female characters and perform male gaze....okay...As if he's special and different from other male writers and it not just keeping with ASoIaF adaptation tradition. It added so much to the story other than the sick eroticism of something already cleared up last season.

I definitely had to earn my place, but think that — because I came in with a clear vision of what I wanted for the show

No you didn't. If you did, you wouldn't have had a such a problem with the pacing, the numerous inconsistencies, plotholes, the [if true] possible merge of Rhaena and Nettles and many episodes would't contradict each other as if one writer disagreed and vetoed another. And you'd see why/how show!Rhaena's purpose must be kept more or less the exact same as her in the bk for the post-Dance environment. We'd have Maelor. We'd have Daeron mentioned and described much earlier, not as some sort of random ass surprise that is bound to thrown so many locals off when he does appear.

If I’m a graduate in Westeros studies, she’s an archmaester,” referring to the order of academics sworn to advise and educate Westeros’ nobility.

....what the fuck does this even mean?! There are no fucking graduates of anything in Westeros and there are no archmaesters of real life bc the set ups in education of EU medieval history vs Westeros are so different it's not even funny. there are no universities for one to even imagine there are Westerosi "graduates", and there is no way you can tell if a graduate would be more or less educated than a grandmaester, bc we don't have rules of "graduation" or gradations of maestership exactly like the modern one. There are archmaesters, the Gran Maesters, acolytes, novices, and finally regular maesters who may or may not go ut to be the personal assistant and tutor in other lords' households. The modern school system can never be properly equalized in structure or depth or habits to Westerosi maestership, the instituton.

Therefore trying to create some sort of analogy as if grads exist in Westeros by immediately using "grandmaester" for another you're aligning yourself with is just so stupid. Worst part is, I know exactly what he's trying to say, but his use of this device is so wrong that I'm mad and sure people will just take this at face value instead of see how inept this man is with literature analysis and thus creative writing. Reminds me, ironically, of his saying he's inspired by PARADISE LOST in writing S2...if you don't sit yourself down to hell, sir!

Martin, by contrast, identifies as a gardener. While this writing style — with its many unexpected twists, turns, and deaths — helps explain what made Game of Thrones so successful, it may also have been responsible for the show’s eventual downfall.

And there it is, Ryan is prepping to use the ole fan excuse of "not much story left" excuse people had for D&D, and it makes sense how he would considering how F&B is considered to unreliable to adapt even the clearest events and characterizations as they are given....

[reijukisser]

Part 1 of One piece hcs that no one asked for!!

(this one is purely Sanji centred bcs she's my princess, literally)

★ Sanji is bigender.

He thought he was exclusively a woman at first on kamabakka, since wearing a dress made him feel the most confident he ever had, and he loved the idea of long hair a lot. He was finally slowly letting go of his internalized homophobia, and also finally accepting himself as bisexual, but he soon realized that he still felt comfortable in his masculinity, and he was basically having an entire gender crisis before iva-chan explained to him that he could be literally anyone he wanted to, that he could be a man, a woman, both, neither — whatever he felt most like himself in. After some research he found out that he's probably bigender, and goes by he/she :3

★ Sanji has heterochromia.

His right eye is brown, the color he inherited from his father, but was too afraid to hide his entire life, because it displayed his identity to everyone, how he was nothing but germa's failure, not enough flesh and bones to be human and not the lack of empathy and metal skin he needed to be a heartless soldier. Not enough, never enough, (this ties into how he has imposter syndrome, probably. feels like a thief, to have stolen his mother's life, her hair and her eyes from her, to have stolen zeff's fighting style, his goddamn leg, only to be inadequate, useless, weak.) after some well needed therapy on kamabakka, (it didn't really change anything, but Sanji liked to pretend it did) and literally running away from his problems, his desire to pretend he was nothing but a cog in the machine, a sacrificial lamb good for nothing but to give away his life so high, that he literally learned to fucking fly, Sanji embraced his identity, if only the slightest bit. So now, he shows off his crystalline blue eyes, waves of the ocean and reflections of the sky, of sora encapsulated in them, and that makes all the difference, even if sometimes, (all the time) when he looks in the mirror and all he sees is his mother, he feels like the shittiest person on earth, who does not deserve the life given to him, does not deserve life at all. This is also why he decided to grow out his hair, at first he was very against the idea, to replicate his mother's appearance so closely, put on a facade of a heart nearly as pure, as kind as hers, (he is, but he'll never understand) but I hc that Nami once said he'd look pretty with long hair, and he never let go of that. In a way, slowly, very, very slowly, it's helping him accept that he isn't a monster like he thinks. But he still is covering up part of himself. I think Sanji achieveing true inner peace would be him showing off both his eyes, the good and the bad. (It'll never happen though because he is literally the incarnation of angst sjsjjs)