#i dont even know if i should try to feel better

[ozfi]

okay, so. missing ace. fake blade fan, i know. plot in theory was incredible, but inoue definitely wrote it. wettest movie ive ever watched in my life. I think all my analysis was wiped from my head at 1:17:00. what the fuck. what the fuck.

more analytically. literal text. without hajime the main group does not stick together. drama cd? everyone knows each other, goes to jacaranda regularly, mutsuki and tachibana are even comrades at this point, hajime serves them pilaf. the only one who isnt is kenzaki. when kenzaki survives, everyone drifts apart. koutaro does not even visit his sister and niece. tachibana is totally absent. mutsuki and hirose try to be normal and fail. kenzaki is not happy.

im so glad that the movie addresses the idea that the riders feel empty after theres nothing left to fight for. that they felt more alive during the battle fight, that they want to run and have a normal life because that will never come back and they dont want it to come back but theyve never been that happy ever since and the feelings follow them like poison. they will never get to be normal, not like in the hajime end, where the others seem fairly well off, because they stick together. because they have people around them who understand and can support them through the rest of their lives without fighting and violence but camaraderie.

but despite the distance, you can see amane still trusts every single adult around her. she loves her mom, she goes with koutaro, she follows kenzaki, she trusts tachibana, even, to go with her into a scary tunnel, alone. amane is a good child, and she loves everyone around her. she feels isolated because hajime vanished, and also because the rest of the adults in her life have been absent- how would you know how she feels?! but kenzaki understands. more than anyone.

i also was very interested in how the new riders fought in tandem, very coordinated. we have no background on them, and i kind of wish the story went into how they were found and selected and why. but regardless, they work well together, and there was a stark difference between their fluid movements and the chaotic tumble of the original blade riders- not that theyre better for this! the blade riders got shit done! they just didnt have that teamwork... ever. which probably makes them more impressive?

the final battle made me sure the blade riders need to unionize. none of them are paid enough for this.

but . to the point. it was always going to happen. theres no escaping it. its one or the other. it would always be them. in the end its always them. if kenzaki didnt do it hajime would. kenzaki does it so hajime doesnt have to. but its for each other, somehow. this should be enough. isnt your job protecting humans. He understood all of amanes pain of missing hajime. every single. Whatever the fuck man

Can we plase jsugt. The sky and the sea. What the actual fuck did blade do to me

[givennnnnn]

today is my bday and i always forget how miserable i feel in this day

[burning-sol]

You know what? I realise why the Sinsmas episode is pissing me off so much, it's because it's juggling so many different ideas that it doesn't spend enough time committed to a single one. Let me just break it down the way I see it...

The first idea we're introduced to is one about Stolas' depression but then when he sits down with Blitz we're introduced to the idea of Stolas' poverty.

The previous ideas are what you think that the episode might focus on until you get hit with the Octavia B-Plot. Okay! A-Plot is about depression and poverty, B-Plot is about Stolas not being able to contact Octavia... (I might be using those terms incorrectly, but you get the idea,)

But THEN you get Sinsmas introduced which is about the idea of indulging in your sins, which is shown to be important to the audience because it's expressed in dialogue, right? Wait, no, it's about Stolas's depression/poverty, okay then....

But THEN you cut to the office and we get a Millie and Moxxie bonding scene, so you think, "wait, is there going to be another DIFFERENT plotline introduced into this episode about their relationship??" AND YOU GET MORE ABOUT SINSMAS, multiple shots about the holiday and the idea of indulging in your sins!! So wait, the idea of Sinsmas IS an individual idea from the depression/poverty point? Or isn't it??

Stolas sobs on the phone, there's a very obvious depression/poverty breakdown, but then we get MORE NEW SHIT introduced because it's about Stolas' cheating. And I understand that that's meant to tie into Octavia's B-plot, but there's a subtle difference between that and THIS that adds another layer of shit on top (elaborated on later).

Which, BTW, I just wanna point out how this idea is contradictory to the Sinsmas idea since CHEATING is about INDULGING in LUST - as is established in your PREVIOUS. IMPORTANT. SEASON ONE FINALE... So WHY would you make a character shame a sin that's meant to be in the process of being celebrated which confuses the Sinsmas idea and was also the CORE of the Stolitz will-they-won't-they before now?? If it was to trigger Stolas' breakdown you already HAD the poverty story beat, this is just needless and confusing redundancy??

So then we actually get to Octavia and we get a scene about the idea of Stolas and Octavia not being able to get in contact with each other - the B-Plot - and followed by her introspective song and the discovery of Stolas' pills. And now we suddenly feel like we're back to where we were MEANT to be, with the Octavia B-Plot taking a pause to cut back to the Depression A-Plot. This builds up tension as we naturally feel the two characters drawn together.

And theeeen it cuts to the I.M.Ps and I'm banging my head against the wall because you're like, "Oh! The Millie and Moxxie relationship idea! This is going to be about them!"

But then OH MY GOD a NEW idea is introduced about Blitz wanting a FAMILY WITH STOLAS. I want to shoot someone because the cheating was a set up for Blitz to fantasise about wanting a family??? Is this meant to be a parallel to episode 1??? Am I meant to feel like Blitz has developed as a character?? In an episode that has been about every character OTHER than Blitz???

And then it's meant to be likeee like about Millie's pregnancy because she wants to kill the family instead of leaving them be, but it's also about Moxxie's relationship with her, but it's ALSO about being "demon enough" (WHATEVER THAT IS, IT'S NEVER ELABORATED ON), but it's also ALSO about Sinsmas.

Okay! Okay, back to the REAL plot except- Wait, Octavia walked in??? Wait, so this plot is now about Blitz wanting a family and he's going to bond with Octavia?? No! NO because they don't have any emotional connection and so there is no reason for this scene to exist if either way Blitz was going to know where Stolas went and Octavia was going to end up there as well anyways.

And can you tell I'm tired of writing at this point? Cus I'm losing my mind. FINALLY the A-plot and B-plot that should have been the center of the episode all along gets a fuck ton of screentime and it's beautiful and it's the peak of the episode.

And theeen it's back to Millie and you think, "Okay, so a big part of the pregnancy plot is clearly meant to be about Millie and Moxxie's relationship based on all the scenes we've gotten between them! That means that Millie and Moxxie are going to have some sort of important dialogue-" And then she WALKS OUT on him and she has her emotional moment with her sister! Which isn't a bad thing but need I remind you she isn't even in the center a FULL LENGTH episode, she's from a SHORT... WHY would you NOT integrate Sallie into a proper episode if she's going to be key to a future INCREDIBLY important plotline??

The episode ends with Blitz and Stolas and the credits roll blah blah blah...

This post is basically expands on some of the points of my post about my first impressions, because I just wanted to give a run down of the structure properly so you can understand why this episode is making me feel like I'm losing it. And I get it, if you put in the effort you can get an idea of how all the ideas were meant to tie together... But it doesn't! It's badly written! It makes me want to rip my hair out!

Ideas are established and then sit there uncomfortably without resolutions to them! Like even the shit. That was meant to be the main shit. The poverty and depression stuff? NO conclusion. Stolas says, "you don't have to refer to me as your highness" I guess?? But like, nothing to show him settling in with everyone else in the celebration to show he's like. Poor? And okay with it? By partaking in the holiday of those that are meant to be "beneath" him? No mention of his medication???

Just!! Okay. To understand the way shit in the writing could have been better, let me list some ways you could change the episode to be more coherent or cut down on redundancy if my points have so far not landed.

Establish Sallie towards the BEGINNING of the episode and her dynamic with Millie, and show how that compares to her relationship with Moxxie, and show WHY she would call Sally instead of talking with Moxxie first. If you're going to make the episode about family btw, this would be the point where Millie could bring up HER family and how much she values them or something in order to establish that as being important. Also, use this to explore what Millie and Moxxie's feelings on having a baby WOULD be, so that if there's conflict there then you have more understanding of why Millie made the decision she did.

Use the actual environment in the background of the montage to show the passage of time instead of it suddenly being Sinsmas. Have demons setting up holiday decorations, in the stores put up discount signs about a "Sinsmas sale!" This makes the story flow more naturally, as well as adds characterisation and makes Stolas' depression more real as he's shown to be so absorbed in his own world he doesn't even realise it's the holiday until Blitz brings it up.

Octavia's phone and the device she listens to music on is the same (I checked S1E2 to confirm it), which causes a sloppy writing issue. Like. If the episode is meant to show Stella is controlling and it's not Octavia's choice not to get in contact with Stolas, then you need to explain why she hasn't called him despite having access to her phone when Stella isn't around. If it were me, I would have had Stella lock it in a drawer that Octavia picks the lock on so she can listen to her music. THEN you can keep the original scene, OR (this is what I would have done) have her check her phone logs so you can see not only how many times Stolas has called but how much time has passed. Maybe this could also be used as another reason to drive her towards the closet as she hides from Stella and Andrealphus. Maybe this could be used as an interesting metaphor about her desire to leave but she doesn't know what she's going to do once she picks the lock on the door... Like how she could call her Dad now that she has her phone but she doesn't know what she'll do when she does... Something like that.

DON'T have Blitz and Via meet up if they're not going to interact. That entire scene is fucking pointless as is and I hate it. Either dedicate a PROPER amount of time and dialogue into making Blitz want to and try to connect with Via, or have them not talk at all. Cut out the whole thing about Blitz wanting a family with Stolas honestly, it's just not well explored enough.

Again with the sloppy writing, the gang did NOT need to stumble into a room of weapons to have weapons. That's pointless. They're assassins, they've been established to bring a stash of weapons with them to fights before. I can think of something much funnier where Moxxie is surprised by Loona's transformation and there's a joke made about her being a noble steed and Moxxie pulls out a sword only for Millie to be like, "Why did you bring that?" And Moxxie says something about how it's a posh weapon cus that's his thing. OR you could have some badass impromptu weapons the gang makes from the ice or they use Sinsmas decorations scattered around. IDK.

Already made my point about Stolas and the poverty idea. Show him settling in with the others during the celebration and him opening up to the idea that he's no longer rich or well respected. The "you don't have to refer to me as your highness" would work if the text bothered to show his mental state properly, instead of him just looking depressed and like he kind of hates everyone there.

Have Blitz PLEASE react to Stolas' depression. Like. Acknowledge it. And share his feelings about it. AND GIVE STOLAS HIS MEDICATION FFS he clearly has clinical depression!! Blitz is sooo head empty in this episode, PLEASE give him more internal thoughts other than :) I'm holding my head in my hands.

And I'm so tired of writing at this point I'm going to stop it there but I hope that was thorough enough to get across my points. And if not then I guess that speaks to how loopy this episode made me that I can't even articulate myself 100% because dear god.

[tacagen]

one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!

((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))

but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS

(and, well. whatever this classifies as)

[rapidhighway]

avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to

[happyk44]

Something something Percy wishing he loved Nico in the same way because he can't stand the idea of hurting him, even though Nico has never needed Percy to love him in the same way or even to love him at all.

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[bluesidedown]

it feels terrible to be really bad at something you know you're good at

[bunnyboy-juice]

ngl. every time i see someone talk about a fairly standard/innocuous bong or pipe that isnt that structurally complex and they talk about the way it would be "impossible" to keep it clean my concern for the ways y'all treat your glass (and therefore your lungs) rises by 10 notches........

[mellotronmkll]

Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared

[thewickerking]

3 year old messages cannot be having me giggling out loud it is three am. Sighs. I think more than anything I just miss having the energy to text as many people as often as I used to. I miss late night conversations while barely awake and memorizing timezones and inside jokes and well okay maybe I do miss specific people. I miss the groupchats and servers and communities i was a part of... especially now when I feel such a lack of community around me.... :/

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[jrueships]

he looks like a predator lowkey

DAMN i mean 😭 damn,

tbh, not to get preachy or smthin, this is just my personal onion, im not the biggest fan of 'i always knew smthing was wrong with x' or 'he always looked like a creeper to me' / 'gave off those vibes' bcs i kinda feel like it diminishes survivors' .. surviving. And gives off this sense of 'as long as you look out for These Static Qualities that All Fucked Up People have, you will be SAFE' thumbs up quota kinda thing,,, which is very dangerous and way too broad for an unfortunately worldly and everslipping issue in society. SORRY ANON, i just wanted to get this off my chest and thot this was a good opportunity, it's just my personal probably underrated thots

[funkle420]

a great way to combat genAI in the future would be educating kids (and teens and college students and all ppl) on art way more.