#i dont even know if i should try to feel better
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angel---eater · 11 hours ago
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i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using
#our t#this is *any* trans hc it doesnt matter the flavour of the trans headcanon. i dont have time for that shit i have real problems#if i see one more fight over jegbert or dave on this site i s2g#if june happens on screen like if we SEE june happen on screen then that will be canon. even for a single panel she will be canon#but genderbend aus have existed since the dawn of fuckin time and an au isnt gonna suddenly blast june's canon transness outta existence#like what are yall TALKING about.#and im saying 'if' w/ a heavy fuckin sigh bc while the hsbc team has stated that they have plans no one knows#when or where or how thats gonna happen. i want it to happen & i have my own hopes for how it will but we'll just have to see#but this aint abt rep yall just want justification to punch e/o in the face & call it 'fighting against ur intercommunity oppressors'#or whatever cause none of yall are brave enough to get organized#and actually try to make changes in ur communities.....headcanons will never be actual representation#as for dave. yall know that transmascs and cis boys also struggle with masculinity right? esp hegemonic pressures and ideals?#thats kinda what LE is about? thats why so many trans guys see themselves in the striders. thats why i think theyre supposed to be cis#but thats ALSO why so many transfemme folks see themselves in dave. and that should be rlly beautiful!!! we're not so different!!!#its almost like that power structure harms everyone in different ways bc of how we treat e/o inside of the structure!!!!!#i cant TELL you how many of my cis guy friends have cptsd from just not being allowed to express sadness or joy in an acceptable way#and davepeta being nonbinary only adds to this!!! davepetas existence in contrast to dave DIRECTLY MIRRORS roxy in meat/candy#but yall are never gonna be fuckin ready for that so what the fuck ever i guess#i just feel constantly forced outside of this fandom or scorned as a Bad Tranny bc im very literally in the middle of this shit#and i dont believe one style of presentation is inherently better or morally righteous than the other. like what are yall expecting#are yall expecting to be let into tranny heaven bc u wear a skirt and say 'haha yeah all instances of mascness is grossss' be for real#just rlly highlights the fact that no one in this fandom wants to care abt intersex trans ppl or hear them talk or try to#contribute to gender analysis. its not girlboss enough i guess. sorry for not drinking the radfem rhetoric thats embedded itself#into this site i suppose. hope the fandom gets better but idk i dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon#stop treating femininity as smth inherently Morally Good its all 'divine feminine moon phase' bullshit slightly repackaged#to include transfemme folks. which none of yall should want. its a direct pushback to actual feminism but ok all mascs evil bc LE i guess#im not missing the fact that this fandom cracks down hard on queer mascness & tries to 1:1 equate that hegemonic cismasculinity either#yall aint slick at all. sorry im just. fucking tired. feeling like i dont exist & my words dont matter
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stormyelliotwritez · 1 day ago
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HAIIIIII can i request something heheheh if yes TYSMMMM and my request isss deadpool and wolverine x chubby feminine male reader and male reader is like insecure about his body and femininity and wade and logan makes sure to let him know that hes beautiful inside and out hehe i havent really seen much x chubby male reader lately nor at all and i have been feeling down about my weight(again) and i would reallllyyyyy appreciate if u can do this request hhee but if u dont thats fine aswell TYSMMMM ONCE AGAINNNNN AND TAKE CAREEEE💖💖💖💖💖
YEAH I CAN!!!! im assuming you want cis male reader but if you were looking for trans, i can rewrite stuff!
sorry it took so long! depression has been kicking my ass recently
warnings for bullying, body dysmorphia, mean self talk and thoughts revolving around hating how you look, use of feminine pet names for reader
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You’re their princess!
poolverine x chubby feminine male reader
You’d been curled up in bed since that morning when you’d swear that those teenagers were laughing about you. You’d been wearing a cute pink hello kitty shirt and the skirt Wade had got you. You’d told him over and over again that it was too short but he’d insisted that you were as cute as a button. Logan had said so too so you wore it but then those teenagers…
Logan and Wade hadn’t gotten home yet so you just laid in bed, covered to your neck. You didn’t wanna look at yourself. You’d thrown the skirt and shirt onto the floor and changed into Logan’s hoodie that was way too big for you. It covered everything and that was your only comfort. You just felt so insecure right now.
You must have drifted off because you jolted awake when the front door slammed. Your boyfriend’s voices drifted up into your ears and you burrowed deeper into the blankets. You didn’t want them to see you like this. You rolled over to face the wall and pretended to be asleep.
Wade poked his head into you guys bedroom and watched you for a moment before beckoning Logan over. You heard his footsteps and wanted to turn back over but your make up was messy and you didn’t wanna look at yourself in the mirror.
“He’s so cute, ain’t he, Logie? I just wanna kiss our baby all over his beautiful body,” Wade said with a sweet smile as he locked his hand in Logans.
Logan grunted a yes and nodded as he leaned against the doorframe. “He asleep?” He grunted.
You tried to stay still and quiet. You just wanted to stay in bed without them trying to make you feel better.
Wade chuckled and let go of Logan’s hand. He walked over to the bed and poked you in the shoulder. You jumped and squealed into your pillow.
“Awwwww, baby’s awake!” He said with a giggle before crawling onto the bed and pulling you into his lap with great difficulty coz you didn’t wanna move.
He nudged your face so he could see you and his face dropped when he did. “Baby, why’s your makeup like that?”
Logan had been watching from the doorframe but when Wade said that, he quickly closed the gap between him and the bed. He climbed on the bed and when he saw your tear streaked face, there was murder in his eyes. “Who hurt you, doll?”
You flinched away from him when he said that.
“Don’t call me that. It’s stupid. I can’t look like a girl! I’m too chubby and it doesn’t look right and I should just bite the bullet and dress like a guy,” you rambled, faster than Wade, as you tried to turn away again.
Wade and Logan immediately jumped into gotta fix this mode. Before you even knew what was going on, Wade had pulled the blanket off you and Logan had taken you off him and settled you on his lap. Wade hopped off the bed and picked up your clothes and put them in the washing basket. He grabbed one of your cute pink hoodies and those hello kitty pj pants you liked so much and laid them out on the end of the bed.
“They’re for when we get ya feeling better. Can’t have you drowning in Logan’s hoodie,” he said with a sad smile as he sat back down.
Logan stroked your hair and grabbed a make up wipe off the bedside table. He gently wiped away your makeup and murmured sweet nothings into your ear. The ickyness started to subside but you still felt it. It was still there in your stomach and the back of your mind, waiting for them to leave so you could cry some more.
“We ain’t gonna make you hash it out, sweetheart. You don’t gotta tell us a thing, okay? But can you let us say somethings?” Wade asked gently as he took ahold of your hands.
Everything in you wanted to say no. They were just taking pity on you. Why would anyone like you? You weren’t skinny and you were too girly. But slowly you nodded.
Wade smiled and tilted his head. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever set my eyes on, you know. When we first met, I just knew that I wanted you and when you spoke and your heart shone through, I knew it even more.”
That was a lot more sincere than you were expecting but you still felt icky. They’d leave soon. Tears started to well up in your eyes but before you could wipe them away, Logan did so.
“We love you, pretty boy. We’ll always love you. You’re the most feminine badass I know and you’re not too chubby. You’re just the right amount. You’re perfect cuddle size, sweetheart,” Logan said with the most gentle smile.
You were crying now. How’d they always accept you when it seemed nobody else did? Logan wiped away your tears and after getting a nod from you, Wade gently pulled Log’s hoodie off you. As he picked up your hoodie, Logan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your tummy.
“You’re the most beautiful princess out there, baby. You can be a man and still be pretty and you can be chubby. You’re not too chubby, okay? We’re gonna love you always,” Logan reminded you.
Wade helped you into the hoodie and then into the pants. Logan then helped you lay down and he cradled you against his chest. Wade snuggled up against you, his arms around your waist, tracing hearts on your tummy.
“We love you, baby,” Wade said with a giggle.
The three of you drifted off to sleep and that icky feeling left for a while longer.
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dimplyowl · 22 hours ago
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This is exactly why I called it “breaking my silence.” Because no one who has a criticism about Con can ever voice it without being called a bully. Because I know for a FACT that there are people who don’t like his rendition but pretend to because they don’t want to get jumped on. Like I’m sorry that I wanted to vent. About a thing that drives me crazy. And that apparently you all took that to mean “I have the only right opinion and everyone who disagrees is stupid and wrong.” Sorry for not slapping every other sentence in my original post with “this is my OPINION btw”, because it was for venting. And idk about you, but when I vent about something, i dont exactly worry about everyone taking everything I say completely literally because it’s VENTING.
YOU even mentioned expression under "there is so much more to singing then just being able to hold a tone", this is again more a question of taste so you’re welcome to a different opinion but you have to get over the fact that TO ME and a lot of other people Cons vocal expression is great and just makes me FEEL things. 
That's fine, you're allowed to have your own opinions. Music is subjective. To a point. But I can tell you that I personally was never very good at being expressive in performances, and you can bet I got notes on it. And if I had performed the way Con did, I absolutely would have gotten notes on expression, breath control, diction, pronunciation... I don't think it's too much to expect that a professional actor who is getting paid to do this to actually excel at it. Especially since it's prerecorded. And I assume they would have done multiple takes. You're allowed your opinion, and you're moved by his performance. I'm allowed my opinion, and I wasn't. And I listed the things that I would have liked to see done better (or done at all) for me to like the performance. Again, my opinion.
not even a vocal trainer?, your "source" is “I took singing lessons”? Everyone can do that, that says precisely nothing about your own qualification.
Again, this was a vent post, I wasn't really expecting anyone to interact with it, I didn't realize I need to give an outline of my education and experience. It also was a bit of a joke that apparently you missed.
Being a classically trained vocalist is miles away from “I took singing lessons.” It’s the difference between saying “I can speak on biology because I have a degree in biology” versus “I took biology classes.” It means that I’ve been trained in vocal techniques like mouth placement, tongue placement, breath support, posture, projection, vocal balance, etc etc. I’m not trying to sound superior, I’m just trying to say that I know more about this topic than the average person. Is a geologist being superior by citing their degree in order to speak on a geology-related subject?
“then don’t read it! How entitled are you to think that every fanfic author in this whole entire fandom has to agree with your taste in music? Don’t like it? Don’t fucking read it”
Yeah I generally don’t. But I can’t exactly avoid it when it’s not really something that can be tagged??? It’s something that tends to just pop up in fics??? And I wasn’t actually saying that I think everyone needs to bend to my whims or some shit. I was expressing something that annoys me. In an overly exaggerated way. Not every sentence needs to be taken literally. Like if I said “ugh I hate nuts in brownies, brownies should NEVER have nuts in them” I’m not actually saying that everyone needs to stop putting nuts in their brownies because I said so. I’m saying I don’t like nuts in brownies, this is how much I don’t like nuts in brownies.
“‘I’m not saying that Con doesn’t deserve this one’ -except you literally just DID”
I didn’t. I said that people win awards who don’t deserve it all the time. I said that to indicate that having won an award for something doesn’t necessarily give credence to an argument, in general. Not necessarily to this particular situation. I didn’t fucking say Con doesn’t deserve this award. I said maybe he did. I don’t know because I haven’t seen it, and I don’t really want to tbh, but I don’t have to see a performance from 40 years ago to critique a performance from last year. Like I said, voices change. Skill levels change. Especially if you’re not actively working on keeping them up. I don’t know what Con’s vocal practice looks like, or if he even has one anymore, but I can tell you my personal opinion on this performance, based on my own education.
It’s not hateful to vent about something that bothers me without specifically saying that this is my opinion on it, and we’re allowed to have different opinions. It’s not hateful to outline the reason something bothers me. If you interpreted my tone as being superior or aggressive or “everyone should have my opinion”, whatever that means, then fine. I don’t care. I do care about being called a bully when I was venting about something that bothers me, speaking generally into the void of the internet, having tagged it appropriately as a critical post, not expecting anyone to interact with it. That “don’t like don’t read” goes both ways. Don’t like a post, don’t interact. Just block and move on. The block is there for a reason.
Okay I’m breaking my silence. Con’s voice is not good. His rendition of La Vie en Rose is bad. And grating. And his French pronunciation sucks. Sure he can hold a tune, but there’s so much more to singing than that that he doesn’t have, or isn’t trained in. Timbre. Intonation. Expression. Resonance. Breath control. Source: I’m a classically trained vocalist.
There. I said it. If I see one more fic talking about how beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/whatever Izzy’s singing is, I’m going to throw something. Surprising is fine. Because it was surprising (and out of left field) for Izzy to sing. But beautiful, it ain’t.
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givennnnnn · 6 months ago
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today is my bday and i always forget how miserable i feel in this day
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tacagen · 5 months ago
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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!
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((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))
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but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS
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(and, well. whatever this classifies as)
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#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much#AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN#about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post#this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy#the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH#and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it#and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat#and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post#he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash#like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE#his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them#everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else#black white at its finest yall#and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like#eobard thawne#professor zoom#reverse flash#the reverse flash#bart allen#the flash#dc
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happyk44 · 2 months ago
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Something something Percy wishing he loved Nico in the same way because he can't stand the idea of hurting him, even though Nico has never needed Percy to love him in the same way or even to love him at all.
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 2 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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thebirdandhersong · 2 months ago
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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moeblob · 8 months ago
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Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.
Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.
#my characters#waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit#deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee#and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name#deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c#man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while#he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair#ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so#its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons#but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me#and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not#fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew#and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable#while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts#and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed#so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en#so you know maybe its that idk#and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now#and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it#and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad#that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal#and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it#the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer#anyway story time in the tags again#im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note#its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him#he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times#and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea#and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you
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autisticlee · 4 months ago
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sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.
but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.
I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.
(continue in tags)
#dont know why continuing in tags but here is more#sometimes we need to ask “why” and not just get mad about how we feel personally. because other people feel differently#yes im guilty of only thinking my feelings and situation and how it relates too and forgetting other peoples. i also need to learn#and everyone's feelings should be valid. just because something might “hurt” you it might be important for someone else#everyones feelings are valid. but we cant protect everyones feeling. so idk the solution#but stopping someone from having a small positive among a sea of nevgative seems a little mean to me#youre not being empathetic to their side. and i can turn it around and be not empathetic to your side and say stop being upset#and get over it and let people have fun. but i wont. i hear you. but at the same time maybe hear us too.#not everyone wants to live only negatively. youre allowed to but dont expect others to.#and yes i GET IT these things can make the allistics and neurotypicals be even worse towards us. but what do we do?#throw out any positivity we can find and grovel in our struggles because the allistics wont take us seriously?#DO THEY TAKE US SERIOUSLY WITHOUT THOSE SILLY TRENDY THINGS? NO! THEY NEVER HAVE#like i said i dont know the solution and everything still be used against us by those people anyway so might as well have fun?#if we focus on struggles they baby us and dont let us do things and block us from living life#if we focus on positive they dismiss our struggles and try to make us do what we cant and dont help us#we cant win! so its not “the 'tism” or whatever other things people made up that cause them to act this way#they already act that way and wont stop unless we figure out how to teach them! but i dont know how! im just a useless little creature#this is probably controversial and someone will get because i dont agree with their perspective despite respecting it#someome will comment to lecture me even though i get it. i do. but two things can exist at the same time!! idk what to tell you!#autistic#autism#actually autistic#lee rambles#words are hard so dont know if i worded it well or not. probably not#also why take away fun things because another group used it for bad? make them stop the bad not stop the good!#i also might be missing more context. i think is about tiktok using these for bad. tiktok is just bad in general and i refuse to use it#why tiktok dictate and ruin our lives now in general? tiktok is really bad 😂 but that another conversation#no one yell at me and say i dismiss struggles of struggling autistics. maybe you dismiss me needing negative thing to have positive?#not in mood for negative response. will probably cry fhhddhsjdjdjkd#today is real struggle day but if i be little creature i feel better
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jrueships · 5 months ago
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he looks like a predator lowkey
DAMN i mean 😭 damn,
tbh, not to get preachy or smthin, this is just my personal onion, im not the biggest fan of 'i always knew smthing was wrong with x' or 'he always looked like a creeper to me' / 'gave off those vibes' bcs i kinda feel like it diminishes survivors' .. surviving. And gives off this sense of 'as long as you look out for These Static Qualities that All Fucked Up People have, you will be SAFE' thumbs up quota kinda thing,,, which is very dangerous and way too broad for an unfortunately worldly and everslipping issue in society. SORRY ANON, i just wanted to get this off my chest and thot this was a good opportunity, it's just my personal probably underrated thots
#the most fucked up things abt truly fucked up ppl is sometimes not even being able to tell theyre fucked up#until irreversible shit happens#like before the giddey event my only opinion on him was he gave off american psycho vibes and in appearance#when the stuff came out abt him tho i was like damn that crazy#i dont wanna turn a coincidence into a sole cause tho bcs thats slippery#esp with a poc as the person of possible predatoration (this shit is NOT a word LMFAO WATEVER)#and this is NOT me saying only white ppl can be predators or smthing stupid like that#like the ones with the dahmer cut and the glasses and jakcet or whatever#bcs again that just lowers ppls guards and raises them at maybe inopportune times sometimes#but with esp poc appearance criticisms are very much eggshell walking bcs it's easier for Very damaging stereotypes#and just bad thot processes in general to follow them#in general#like i know when i was younger i was always avoidant and quiet to white girls who tried to approach me bcs i didnt want ppl making Bad joke#abt us just bcs *i* know bad (like BAD bad. not just white ppl love mayo jokes or wtver lol) ideas create those opportunities#and also i read a lot (i liked fictional better but read some history too) and also looking like. yea. u know#i knew#just in general... unfair assumptions create unfair actions/opportunities#try to be avoident of that in general.. even if u feel 'justified' sometimes thats just personal!#personal feelings should be specified as personal juust in case u know. it takes 2 seconds to safeguard#bcs not a lot of survivors get justification or Feel justified in surviving and#idk man#anyways#gets off my soapbox and shrinks ten feet
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funkle420 · 27 days ago
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a great way to combat genAI in the future would be educating kids (and teens and college students and all ppl) on art way more.
#i had art classes growing up but i know a lot of ppl didn't and even less kids get art classes nowadays#we need all kinds of art classes too! music and history and painting and woodshop and drawing and life drawing#i think art history is especially important bc it connects us to our past and shows why art is so important#and all kinds of art classes help kids develop different important skills#like fine motor skills and critical thinking and making choices and noticing details and how to really SEE things rather than just looking#and a lot of art skills like woodworking and ceramics and sewing are all very practical basic adult skills that we should all get to learn#there's reasons arts and crafts and other skill based electives are the first to go and its not just bc they're undervalued#its cause a population that feels capable and confident and skilled and knows how to think critically#is harder to make work shitty jobs for shitty pay#harder to control!#same reason they're banning so many books and trying to make education worse#damn maybe i should learn how to teach better#im already planning to at least try doing a workshop for adults but maybe if i end up liking that#i could work towards being able to teach kids#i feel like teaching kids would be harder cause idk what concepts they do or dont know at whatever age they are#id have to do research and maybe talk to someone who has experience teaching art to kids#but even a simple art class would be beneficial i think#like going outside to draw things in nature maybe#or portrait drawing#or a class on how to make comics or animate on paper to impress their friends lol#i would've loved that!#id have to do that with the help of another teacher maybe#idk#vague future plans#anyway the reason education would help combat ai is cause ppl would learn abt what goes onto making art#all the choices and skills and thought#and they'd be able to more easily see the difference btwn real art and ai images and understand why making art is important
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mellotronmkll · 29 days ago
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Wverytime I sit down at a computer to make music I get so scared
#i like siting down with a guitar and writing music but the daw is still so scary to me and i dont know how to make it less scary#its like i dont know where to start#i understand music theory i can write chord progressions i can write melodies but arranging feels so daunting#like just trying to pick keyboard voices and stuff im like overwhelmed and then its like i just dont even know where to start#i think i need to do more covers to practice arranging because trying to do it with my own songs im just like i have NO IDEA#i do think that trying to recreate arrangements of other songs I like will help me but also just idk#i really want to get better at writing at the piano but i find it really hard#rn i write almost all my songs on the guitar then i guess what i have to do is try to think of like what style i want it to have#and sort of try to create a map like probably literally on paper and then try to go in and sort of do it but god its so hard i dont know#it feels so so daunting#even trying to make silly little stuff with just like some synths is really hard for me right now its so out of my comfort zone and AUGH id#its frustrating im scared of the computer but i also very much do not want to be an acoustic singer songwriter but thats all i can do#because all i can do is play fucking guitar!!!! and its just so frustrating#technically im like with a midi controller i should be able to do whatever program drums write little synth lines etc i dont have to like#know how to play piano and yet whenever i try to do it i just get so overwhelmed and freaked out with how many possibilities there are#that i just . cannnnnt#AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH im so im in such a bad mood right ow#ive had such a horrible night honestly#i think i will just go engage in fixation for comfort and then go to bed sigh#i dont know what to do to improve at making music in the daw i guess ill just maybe try again this weekend to take another crack at it#god its just so frustrating that i only started writing songs 2 years ago and have only learned to use a daw in the last 3 months i WISH#that i was one of these teenagers who spent all my time writing silly songs and playing around with a midi controller but i just didnt#because i was scared!!!!!!!#playing the guitar and singing has always been like the only thing that felt safe cos i felt if i tried to actually write and arrange songs#by myself i would fail so now i just feel so frustrated because i dont feel like a real musician and i feel like im starting too late#AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH whatever sorry for using the tags of this post as my diary but#i am frustrated!!!!
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ghostboyhood · 1 month ago
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no fucking wayyy dude
#so you kick us out of a sever for saying people shouldnt joke about child rape/assault#and say u have evidence me n a friend were talking behind ur back#so you unfriend us n kick us out of yhe group#instead of oh idk talking about it with us like a mature person#you constantlyyyyy say ur trying sooo hard to get better at communicating but thats suchh bullshit u js want people to feel bad for you#oh sorry i think joking about raping a child is disturbing and gross#sorry me n my friend were talking about that together#not spreading “rumors” or even talking to other ppl about it#js airing problems out to eachother#literally go fuck urself youre such an entitled asshole#you use your mental illnesses to make people feel bad for you and get mad when they dont#sorry im not pitying a cis white girl who lives pretty comfortably financially in a safer part of town.#i cant even tell if she realizes how attention seeking she really is#the excuse of saying we were talking shit in a channel or whatever is literally suck bullshit#if i said something about the child rape jokes in a channel and you know its about you Obviously you should take a fucking look at yourself#Also not to mention when we got in a fight you said shit to my Face in “your channel” that made me go into one of the most dissociative#paranoid episodes in my life Ever. making me question my fucking morals and shit#how fucking up your own ass are you#whatever talk to me like a fucking grown up if you think youre so mature asshole#<- sorry this isnt about anyone here but im so fucking mad its like#genuinely disgusting#venting
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isablooo · 2 months ago
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every time i blink theyre doing another terrible adaptation of a gothic novel will i ever be free
#why on earth would you cast another white actor as heathcliff#his experiences as a racialised man are integral to his characterisation like its not even subtext its text!!!!#the fact he's been almost exclusively depicted by white actors has enabled ppl to overlook this part of his character#and i just dont think another adaptation featuring a white heathcliff should exist#feeling mad as hell tbh#and lets not even get started on that god awful dorian gray adaption!!#everything about it is so bad i dont even have the energy to hash it out again#not to be a party pooper but im also dreading guillermo del toro's frankenstein i know im gonna hate it#why am i being punished for being invested in gothic literature and wanting better for books that mean a lot to me#we're in an adaptation hellscape atm so its not even just gothic lit#like that new rose of versailles adaptation pisses me off so bad too#it seems to exist for no other reason than because its a safe profitable option for the studio#and theyre trying to modernise the art style to make it more appealing to new viewers#which feels like a fundamental misunderstanding of ROV's appeal#Sometimes trying to make a work more palatable so it can be consumed by the most ppl possible is simply to degrade it#you're ironing out what makes it special to turn it into something more commercial a hollow shell of the original#i know everybody whose invested in art has been burned by this adaptation hellscape at least once I hope we'll be free of it one day#text post#wuthering heights
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kabukeo · 1 year ago
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tonight's little doodles
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