#i don’t go into shock or anything
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fucking grieving because i’m on my late lunch break and there’s a food festival in town and the first shift was super stressful so i was like ‘okay i’m gonna get something special as a treat’ so i chose churros because i’m allergic to dairy and the sign said that there was no dairy in the churros. Well guess what gang
#the churros did in fact have milk in them#thankfully my allergies aren’t super bad#i don’t go into shock or anything#i do however have to clear my throat every three seconds because there’s so much mucus#i also get so stinking fucking tired that one time I got something from the bakery and fell asleep at my bus stop#which is NOT ideal because i still got a work shift to go#i also get fun heart palpitations so yay me#never eating on my lunch break again I was taking SUCH good care to not eat anything dairy for a while now#and now this
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There is a scratch mark on the floor of the Council chambers that Mace has never noticed before. Not a deep one, mind, quite shallow. This matters because it’s making the white-hot pulse of agony stabbing through his eyeballs ebb momentarily. Then, he chances a glance upwards at the fidgeting Knight in front of them, and it returns in full force.
Huh, he’s never seen Oppo Rancisis’ face turn that colour before.
“Hmm”, Master Yoda hums, deep and scratchy. His expression is unreadable even to Mace beyond a baseline gremlinness, and the force with which he grips the edges of his seat is making his bones creak. Master of the Order you should become, they said. Follow the calling of the Force, you should. A fulfilling purpose, it will be. Mace is going to hunt the little goblin for sport when this is all over, and he’s going to laugh the whole time.
“Show us the livestream again, could you, Knight Parvo?” Yoda asks. Mace bursts a capillary, he’s pretty sure, and so does poor Knight Parvo, whose orange Mon Cala skin tips all the way into blood red with stress. “Most unusual, this is.”
“Absolutely not!”, Ki Adi intervenes before Mace has to, thank the Force for little mercies. Plo Koon’s tusks tremble slightly with either suppressed laughter or abject horror, maybe both, and Stass Allie has her head in her hands. “The holo stills should be enough”, Ki Adi proceeds to add, and Mace has to reconsider all feelings of grace he just felt towards his fellow Councillor.
He never wants to watch Yoda zoom in on someone’s abs again. Or Depa raise her eyebrows at the curve of thighs bent over the dripping front of a speeder.
“Speeder Wash For Our Troops”, his former padawan reads out loud from a still of what has to be hundreds of the things gathered in the public senate parking lot. “Fund Our Boys And Get A Wet Seeing-To!” The series of images features dozens of Coruscant Guard troopers in various stages of unkitted, gleaming and shining with soap suds and water. The fact that the whole thing is also massive shatterpoint after massive shatterpoint is, quite frankly, insulting.
“Well hello- oh dear”, Obi-Wan’s blue form crackles to life in his chair, followed by several sounds of choking that are definitely not him. Good, Mace thinks acidly. If he has to deal with this, then so does kriffing Skywalker. “I’m sorry, why am I looking at Commander Thorn using a washrag like a lasso on top of a speeder?”
“Oh, the Guard’s little fundraising project”, Bail Organa says, as he steps into the Council chambers. Normally, Mace likes the man well enough. Now, he just smiles and adds on, “I’ve already donated, in mine and Breha’s name. Remotely, of course.”
“The Guard’s fundraising speeder wash?”, Obi-Wan repeats, edges of his holo form flickering with what Mace suspects is Skywalker very unsubtly trying to edge in. Force, but the man really is horrible at any and all stealth, like kissing his secret wife in an open arena in front of his Master. “And they are fundraising for…?”
“GAR budget allocations have to come from somewhere”, Organa shrugs. “And with the tide of public opinion turning, they’ve been tending towards cuts. The Guard feels them more keenly than any other sector - they’ve been reduced from half to quarter rations, and medical supplies have not made more than a token appearance in the last draft. The Chancellor has cancelled three consecutive meetings on the matter, and thus it was agreed that a more hands-on approach was needed. Any surplus will go into the Army fund.”
“Surely it can’t be that dire”, Oppo protests, a slightly less concerning shade of purple now. Senator Organa shrugs again, jostling the smattering of cracks slowly building around his person in a way that makes Mace wince quietly. “It’s all publicly available data, Masters.”
It really can be that dire, as it turns out. And quarter rations is only scratching the surface of how dire, considering the Guard has apparently never had access to bacta in all their posting, and also includes requisitioning forms available to the Senate for reconditionings and decommissionings, two words Mace has only heard Ponds whispers amidst shuddering in the early days of the war before Shaak Ti went off and just about tore some throats out over it.
“Alright”, he concedes, rubbing at his temples. “Fair enough, we have failed to tackle a massive blind spot in the Guard’s well being. There is no Jedi assigned to Coruscant, and that’s an oversight on our behalf. But how in the everloving kriff did this get past the Chancellor and Commander Fox?!”
Who have both signed, black on white. Bail Organa smiles cryptically. “Well, if you scroll a bit past that one image, up to the industrial speeder in the back - Commander Fox is currently having credits stuffed into his codpiece in the back, I believe.”
“HE’S WHAT IN THE WHAT NOW”, Commander Cody screeches through the speaker of Obi-Wan’s holo image, and Mace has to summon every bit of Jedi-serenity he possesses in his body to keep from dropkicking a cackling Yoda through the chamber windows.
#fox forged palpatine’s signature is how it got past him#it’s not like anyone can admit to that considering the backlog of official reports he’s been forced to do it on#‘come for me and we’re both going down bitch’ fox says#triple dog dare#fox himself is in such a constant state of sleep deprivation delirium that a sexy speeder wash sounded fair enough#or not worse than anything else that happens on the daily on coruscant anyways#padmé’s handmaidens make it rain with whoops of joy and take a commemoration selfie with all the commanders#‘wait. where’s kit?’ obi wan asks halfway through the meeting ‘wasn’t he supposed to land on coruscant an hour ago?’#‘oh No’ says the council collectively#‘coruscant daily breaking news: residents are horrified by half-naked nautolan streaking through the city apparently making for thr senate’#‘wait that appears to be JEDI MASTER KIT FISTO-‘#it’s very good advertising it turns out#the vod who suggested it (nuisance) gets promoted against his will#the remaining clone commanders have to be restrained first from dogpiling civilians launching their credits at corries#‘BUT GENERAL THEY’RE OBJECTIFYING FOX’ wolffe cries to plo koon#then from murdering several senators aides and the chancellor when certain records surface#‘this is all public knowledge??’ fox asks very confused and still dripping water under six robes his ori’vode launched at him on sight#‘i don’t understand where this is coming from?’#cody is too busy making slitting throat motions at anyone who looks at his vod’ika too long to bother responding#palpatine chokes on a raisin in shock and dies#‘BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: CHANCELLOR EXPLODES IN A BLACK CLOUD AT SIGHT OF WASHBOARD ABS’#and thus the galaxy is foxed#i’m leaving that typo#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#coruscant guard#jedi high council#mace windu#oh mace my beloved i am so sorry but it’s so funny putting you in Situations#sw tcw fic ideas
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#im so sorry guys but if you think solas stabbing varric was unintentional or an accident you are smoking dicks#sure he didn’t go there intending to stab him but acting like it was a whoopsie in self defense genuinely contradicts his character#like he is confirmed to canonically kill his friends and feel bad about it#identify your goals and do nothing that does not further them#source: the masked empire#im usually very content to let people live with their silly woobified headcanons#and i don’t want beef which is why im hiding this in tags LMAO and I won’t be tagging it as solas or anything#but I fear people are going to be genuinely shocked and disappointed when the game comes out if they keep mischarscterizing him as perfect#and morally perfect and that everything he does is right#THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT HES NOT???? BUT HES SOMEONE WE CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH DESPITE IT!!!!#we are supposed to sympathize with him despite the horrible things he’s done#that’s the lesson that’s why rook is so clearly embarking down the same path of mistakes and regret#people are so obsessed with defending him from haters that they erase him of any moral complexity to make him completely above reproach#I wish tumblr had a close friends list like twitter so I could post this there LMFAOOOO
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Okay so I know some people think Niko is related to Finality (including me), but I haven’t seen anyone mention the fact that when the spirites exit her body they say it smells like dead fish in there. Later, when Crystal confronts David in the roller rink, she says that she knows he’s there because it smells like rotten fish. So like, maybe she (or Finality) is somehow related to an infernal being? Am I making connections that aren’t there? Almost certainly, but anyway this is me right now
#dbda#dead boy detectives#niko sasaki#niko dbda#tbh i don’t think it’s very likely but if it doers happen then i get to say i called it#and i’ve Never called Anything before#every time a plot twist occurs i am Shocked#Flabbergasted even#(I just like watch shows and most of the time i have no theories#I’m not thinking about anything tbh#i go ooooooooh pretty lights and colors)#but like maybe I’m onto something here#green cannot shut the fuck up in the tags
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hey uh just as a reminder if you’re polyamorous/non-monogamous and you don’t allow your very monogamous partner the chance to leave the relationship if they find it doesn’t work for them and they’re not okay with the relationship dynamic then you’re a shit human being
#ari announces#long story but there’s this overarching Tension going on in this server i’m in and god. the way that monog partner is manipulated makes me#feel fucking sick. how selfish do you have to be to make someone just be okay with your relationship style#it’s all crocodile tears in there so often that i can’t even feel bad. they’re so horrible about it#and i’m just trying to find the right words to say ‘hey uh. why is no one else confused that the monog partner can’t leave’#wow! how strange!! i’ve never met two ppl more selfish in my life doing a relationship style meant to dissolve that#i just. god. if ur partner isn’t satisfying u or if ur not happy with where the relationship is going u should be allowed to leave. no ifs#ands or buts. and honestly while we’de at it don’t force ur monog partner to therapy bc u think she needs it to cope w u doing whatever u#want. and ignoring her needs. it’s fucking moronic. and then they’re SHOCKED when they run into issues and problems#like am i an idiot??? am i just not seeing smth i should be??? i feel insane abt this like genuinely#no one else fucking says anything and i’m going to when the time comes. if smth comes up again. i’ve had enough of seeing this#selfish awful behavior of not wanting to let someone go if they want to leave. it’s fucking gross
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u are literally so strong for being pre med. im also 21 and ive just about given up on taking the mcat and doing extracurriculars after army crawling through all the prereqs 😭 much luck to you!!!!!! praying john hopkins takes u 🙏🙏 we need more lovely, kind and genuine doctors like you and u deserve the best of the best 💖💖
Thank you my dove <3 no it’s literally the most ruthless thing ever. People don’t understand the mental stamina it takes to fulfill all facets of the application med schools expect. It’s more than a full time job—sometimes it doesn’t feel like there are enough hours in the day tbh, between doing research and volunteering and shadowing and gaining hands on experience. And don’t get me started on the mcat lmao, preparing for it feels like I’m training for the Olympics. I’m into it most days, it’s fun to be consumed by something you’re truly passionate about, but I also completely get how it predisposes all of us to frequent burnouts. Add to that the stress of meeting the still more extraordinary, still more impossible standards of elite med schools…
#And usually I wouldn’t give a fuck for prestigious names but I want to become a surgeon#And surgery specialties DO care about the school you went to. They care ab the prestige#So I’m trying to score the highest I possibly can and just go above and beyond#To clarify a big part of it (the biggest part) is bc I’m passionate about everything I do#But I also know it’s what they’d want to see#I get the most shocked looks when I tell people I want to become a neurosurgeon LMAOOO#And even for someone like me who loves school it’s such an overwhelming thought at times#But it is unfortunately what I want to do w my life… I don’t think I’d be happy settling for anything else#And ik id want to be doing this even if i were the richest person alive#So im doing it for the right reasons & that’s why im sure of my trajectory
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i think maybe perhaps i should start possibly considering medicating my adhd
#graveyardtxt#i think my friends may have been right to be shocked when i said that i don’t take any medication#oh boy executive dysfunction is hitting harder and harder everyday#but like medication costs money#and my mom is very anti-meds and will fuss about it whenever she can#i can’t get anything done#i’m barely passing my classes#i’m going to rot away and melt into a puddle istg#adhd
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I've had MCU fatigue for years at this point, can’t remember when was the last time I was actually excited for something (DS:MoM probably) but I've watched the trailer for the new Captain America a couple weeks ago and now the Thuderbolts teaser that Just came out like an hour ago and jendkrmjdnrkfnfurjr
OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE WE BACK????????
This feels like having The Winter Soldier glory days back and Im here for it. Gimme gimme gimme *insert grabby hands x100*
#personal#Raksh posts#mcu#can you tell Ive been FROTHING AT THE MOUTH#GIMME WINTER SOLDIER BUCKY UDBDKDNSJENDKDIFJ#y'all if you haven't seen the Thunderbolts teaser that just came out#and you're TWS Bucky fans GO WATCH IT#also on a complete unrelated side note#the way this Bucky looks would make Perfect irl fancast for Skyrim's Vilkas#Im sorry I can’t unsee it now 🙈😂😂#but Im SO EXCITED#I don’t care about anything or anyone else#(well the new guy seems interesting but THAT ASIDE)#I need me more of TWS coded Bucky#I Live for it#loved those moments in the show years ago#and I mean CA:TWS still Is my dave MCU movie so Im very much biased lmao#the others are gonna be great and fun for sure#but TWS Bucky!!!!!#CHEWING KN GLASS OVER HERE#GNAWING ON THE BIT#Im so unwell rn#honestly shocked how this one teaser unlocked the dusty stores of my old obsession pheeew 💨#Im gonna go hunt down some gifsets to reblog#bcs my teeth are itching and I need to BITE HIM#anyway#sorry not sorry for the rant#Im going through it#😂😂🙈
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Excuse me, Marble Hornets community.
So somehow I missed the fact that an OPERATOR PLUSHIE dropped yesterday.
So for anyone who also missed it, here you go.
#I don’t know if I’m going to get the dude or not#I only have hoodie as of 2021#but still I’m shocked that I didn’t see anything about this guy yesterday#cause he clearly dropped yesterday with the rest of the creepy glow in the dark stuff#marble hornets#makeship#the operator#slenderman#alex kralie#tim wright#brian thomas#hoodie#masky#hoody#jay merrick
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Look man I just think it’s a shame that Lon Chaney Jr’s horror film debut usually gets cut from the roster.
#also I understand this is the rare pair of all rare pairs#but god I’m fascinated by the potential dynamic of Dan McCormick (the man-made monster) and Frankenstein’s creature#because their fascinating inversions of each other?#like Dan is this good hearted circus performer who’s taken the various tragedies of his life in stride#(from his backstory of being an abused orphan to right when the audience meet him when he’s the sole survivor of a horrific bus crash)#only to get his mind melted when some mad scientist figures out that Dan’s apparently immune to any sort of damage by electric shock#who then takes advantage of said mind-melt to make him kill the only doctor who might have saved him and to turn himself over to the police#go through the entire trial unable to defend himself and then be PUT TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR#walk out now that he’s juiced up enough on electricity to function#stumble through the woods killing and terrorizing people because he’s physically incapable of touching anything#kill the mad scientist behind it all and then kill himself by draining all the electricity from his body#which all seems just kinda like excellent set up for SOMETHING with the creature#if only because with the creature’s modern electricity thing pairing nicely#with Guy who needs to be charged with deadly amounts of electricity to function#like I don’t have coherent thoughts but it feels like it’s got so many fun opportunities.#my art#man-made monster#universal horror#lon chaney
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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.
#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family#(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything#like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but#even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore#oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck#UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough#but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while#maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from#whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions#i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep#which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues#i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not#getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.
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if you just objectively look at how much i post here like the rate at which i rb posts is absolutely insane, if i applied that focus and dedication to literally any other facet of my life i would probably be the president of the united states by now, i would have written 10 novels and discovered a new species of animal
#ive been going to therapy for the first time#and one of the things the lady told me to do is to practice doing more nothing#which i will admit i do struggle with#like i sometimes think im not doing anything on a certain day and actually i have like done the mental work of taking care of a toddler#and working full time and cooking cleaning etc#and just because i don’t leave the house or do a specific chore on a specific day doesn’t mean im not doing anything it’s still something#anyway#im trying not to beat myself up for having down time lol but#scrolling through my blog to find a post because the fuckin search doesn’t work#it’s shocking how much i post on here the fuck!!
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My shoulder is out of place and it’s just like. Every time my body does something i get shocked like I don’t have dislocation inflammation throbbing achey hurty disorder.
“cannot BELIEVE my shoulder is slipping out of place rn this is absolutely unprecedented! the pain!!” It has happened literally 50 different times
#I will say my left shoulder isn’t the typical one so that’s annoying but at least once ever few weeks this happens why am I shocked#but I guess I’m used to being generally uncomfortable so when I feel pain at a level that it’s actually bothersome I get soooo annoyed#like anything between a 4-7 is just annoying and makes me angry I don’t get sad and desperate until 8#at an 8 I’m honestly not sad yet but I get stressed out bc like. is it gonna get WORSE or is it gonna go down first im mostly worried at 8
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Have you ever played/watched a playthrough of the game 12 Minutes? I think you'd like one of the reveals in it.
I did watch a full playthrough a while back. Unfortunately for this recommendation, I thought it was <3 stupid <3 No offense to anyone who likes it, I just thought the design of the loop in the first place was a bit clunky, the characters were sort of eh, and then the reveals themselves were, as I remember and as they played out on whatever stream I was watching, just kind of bad? A poorly put together story surrounded by poorly put together gameplay, but. like. willem dafoe was there 👍
#truly no greater evidence of the fact that you can’t just put sudden incest in your game for your shocking twist and expect me to find it at#all interesting or thought-provoking or even like. god. i don’t know what emotion they wanted the reveal to prompt honestly.#certainly didn’t do anything for me or for whoever i saw streaming it.#like they were just fucking frustrated at how obtuse the game had gotten at that point. which generally in point and clicks is sort of#expected except that the nature of the time loop being so set in stone meant that the feeling of making no progress was made even more#irritating than it would usually be in such a game. anyway my point is they were fucking annoyed and the reveal just made them go :/ uhm.#okay? like not even really disgust or horror or anything at that point just like. yeah alright i guess this is new information i’m being#given. idk what to do with it though.#like i think the ‘incest all along’ sort of twist needs to really hook you with the characters first so that you’re invested in the#relationship before the curtain is pulled back. and invested in a way that depending on the story either makes you sort of have an internal#struggle with your own instinctive disgust against your investment because part of you wants these characters you like to be happy together#anyway while another part of you knows that there’s something disturbing happening here. or like the entire thing should have been written#in such a way that already had you on edge and this final puzzle piece confirms why and you sit back and soak in the horror.#i *think* 12 minutes wanted to be the second one? i saw ‘think’ because it failed at being either and in the end the twist went over like#a lead balloon. just sort of shit. like im the incest guy and even i thought it was shit. anyway.#ask#tw incest
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I watched the episode with my mother so here are my thoughts, just not live
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#my thoughts are a bit scattered so this will not be in order most likely😅#portia featherington#i know this lady has issues being a good mother (even tho she’s trying) but good lord#Telling your own daughter that you don’t believe in her like that??#That was so cruel#It’s her third year#So what#shes so young#She could still find a husband#Philipa and Prudence sure did and Penelope is much more intelligent and brillant#Yes I know it’s the same thing#Speaking of#those sisters I swear#Hilarious#« insert himself where? »#PLEASE#The delivery of that line was just incredible🤣#Anyways#no heir yet for them#Let’s go to Colin#THÉ PART WHERE WE SEE HIM WITH TWO WOMEN????#THÉ FUCK???#My mother and I were shocked af#How dare he#but also damn#« thank you for the lesson »#Bitch what lesson?#He barely even said anything to you except « that was direct »
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Anyway I been thinking about fizzfangs.. just for fun. If Soda is dead next season I’ll kms fr.
#I don’t think they had any real confession or anything#I think one day one of the demons was like ‘.hey so like weird question but yknow are u guys like..?’#and they look at each other for a moment and shrug and go ‘lol yeah’#I think Theo is a problematic king who started using faggot as soon as he could#‘oh shit I’m gay.. Emizel u look like a faggot today’ ‘ (shocked but kind of humored tone) dude what the hell Soda you can’t say that’#‘no it’s chill dude I’m gay now!’ ‘..Oh shit really- just like that?’ ‘Yeah’ ‘Okay. well fuck you anyway why did you say that?!’#<- smth like that. I cant do their mannerisms very well..#I have Shilo locked down for some reason I think it’s the accent
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