#no one else fucking says anything and i’m going to when the time comes. if smth comes up again. i’ve had enough of seeing this

[ashasdiary]

Bodyguard

Pairing: Geto Suguru x reader Synopsis: Geto finds out you’re being harassed at work. CW: harassment, established relationship, protective!geto, angry!geto, Geto beats him up, a little angst, fluff, brief suggestiveness WC: 1.9k A/N: no one look at me I’m trying to cope 😵‍💫

It started very innocently. Just small chats here and there, in the work kitchen, passing by through the hallways, in the elevators. Then the chats became a bit longer. You initially thought your coworker Daniel was just being attentive, asking about you, showing genuine interest in what you had to say. To be sometimes expected from a work colleague. 

But you realised his intentions early on. So you made it a point each time he asked your plans to mention your boyfriend, Geto, just to make sure he was aware that you were not interested. 

That didn’t stop him. 

Every time he passed by your desk, he’d pat your shoulder and mouth a small ‘hi’. Initially, it wasn’t concerning, because it was minor, just him saying hi in greeting. But the more time passed, the longer his touches on your shoulder, and the more agitated you got. 

He’d join you, uninvited, while you had your lunch. Offering him a polite smile, you wouldn’t say anything as he’d sit near to you in the work kitchen. 

“Whatcha got?” He asked once. 

“Just a sandwich,” you reply, mouth full, not caring about manners in that moment. Because he had eyes. Why ask stupid questions? 

“Oh, nice. Healthy,” he nods, opening up his food container, “You always have healthy stuff.”

You blink a few times, thinking what the hell, keeping tabs on my lunch? He begins to eat and you hum, kind of dismissively, “Yeah.”

You continue to eat your sandwich in silence, looking at your phone, hoping he’ll leave you in peace. Ha! Why would he? 

“What did you get up to on the weekend?” He asks and you glance up at him, giving a tight lipped smile. 

“Had a day out with my boyfriend, we did a hike and then saw a new movie…not much else,” you say. 

“Ah, hikes are great. I hope it was a good movie. It’s nice having a companion, but I’m so particular about who I keep around…it’s why I can’t find anyone decent,” he responds, and you chew on your lip, feeling a bit unnerved by the trajectory of the conversation. 

His phone rings then, and you thank the stars for the interruption. You stand up then as he takes it and you say something about your lunch break finishing before you dash out of there. 

Geto had noticed you’d been a bit down recently, but he didn’t want to push you to talk about it because he knew that there wasn’t always a reason for being down. Moods fluctuate, something he could personally understand completely. Instead, he ups his affection to you, making sure you feel loved, and seen, and safe. Which you always do. 

That week, it continued. 

Fucking hell, was he persistent. More touches; the shoulder taps had become shoulder squeezes. More questions. More attention.

At the very least you were thankful you weren’t working in the same team or even in the same department. But still, it was starting to affect you. You’d feel anxious as it approached the time that he’d come into work. You’d feel anxious when you heard his footsteps. 

Your coworker who sat beside you noticed it too. “He’s so weird…what’s his problem?” She comments, then her voice softens when she looks at you being tense, “hey…you okay?”

“Not really…” you whisper to her, voice wavering. 

She looks concerned, “Tell HR. I’ve seen what he’s been doing, every day, it’s creepy.”

“But I don’t want to cause trouble,” you find yourself saying, and you trail off as you hear yourself. It sounds ridiculous and you know it. 

Your colleague says your name, “Come on. It’s not. Do not sacrifice your comfort. Go tell them…or do you want me to?” She asks. 

Deliberating for a moment, you then shake your head and inhale deeply, “I will.”

After having a conversation with HR, it all happens very fast. Within 3 hours, Daniel is being escorted out of the building having been fired. 

You feel sick to your stomach, because you hadn’t wanted to cause such a drastic consequence. But as the day goes on, you are reassured that it was a completely justified decision. 

It’s when you’re on the way home that you get a text from an unknown number, angrily asking what he’d done to deserve that and that you should watch your back. 

When you go home to Geto that day, you walk through the door and burst into tears, all of your built up emotions being let out. He’s quick to envelope you in his arms tightly and hold you against the warmth of his chest. 

“Hey, sweetheart…shh…I’ve got you, it’s okay…come sit down,” he says to you, in a soft, hushed voice as he guides you to the couch. You sit on his lap, face buried in his neck as you sniffle, tears rolling down your cheeks. 

“Tell me what’s going on, honey,” he prompts, rubbing your back in soothing circles, “talk to me.”

So you tell him everything. Every instance, every encounter, every inappropriate conversation. And then the text. You notice that as you’d been explaining, he’d stiffened, his gaze had turned ice cold. 

He utters your name, gently pushing your hair behind your ear as you look at him, “You should have told me the minute this began…” he sighs softly, “Maybe take some time off work. And if you don’t want to do that, I’m going to take you to and from there. Okay? Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise.” 

The conviction in his tone is a safety blanket to you and you bury yourself against him, whispering a thank you and an I love you. 

“I love you too, sweetheart. You’re safe, always,” he kisses your hair and holds you for the rest of the evening. 

You’d debated taking time off, but you knew that would only postpone your fear. So you go to work as usual, but with the safety of Geto’s company. 

He had suggested driving you to and from, but you knew the traffic in the city was awful which would be quite long. So he commutes with you. Four trips he makes each day, just to ensure that you are safe. 

His presence alone was enough but knowing that he’d never let anything happen to you, that he was there only to protect you, makes you feel very much at ease. 

You’re pressed up against each other on the train a couple of weeks later and he grins at you, snaking his arm around your waist. “Up close and personal, huh,” you murmur to him. 

“Not close enough,” he teases you with a wink and you flick his chin with a laugh. 

“Sugu, you might as well just come and work at the same company with all these trips you’re making,” you say as you walk hand in hand from the station to your work building. 

He chuckles, “While that would be fun, working in the same place as you, I think that they might end up firing me too for inappropriate touching,” he jokes and you laugh at this. 

He smiles to himself at the sound of your laugh, happy to see that you’re not feeling so anxious or sensitive anymore and can laugh at jokes about it.

“You’d always want to get me alone,” you tease.

“Oh, yeah. Every chance I get,” he squeezes your hand as you approach the building. 

You head inside together and you let go of his hand, readying your keycard to swipe through the security gate several meters away, and you’re about to bid each other goodbye when you stop in your tracks. Geto looks to you in question and he follows your gaze to where Daniel is stood outside the security gate, waiting. 

He didn’t know what Daniel looked like of course, but he is quick to put two and two together. At the same time, Daniel sees you. You tremble slightly as you see the look on his face as he storms over, somehow not making note of the giant 6’3 man stood beside you. 

Geto quickly approaches, and he grabs Daniel by the collar, lifting him easily off the floor. “You have some nerve coming here again…I ought to teach you a fucking lesson,” Geto seethes. 

Daniel is completely taken aback, turning into a spluttering mess as he grabs onto Geto’s arm that was holding him up, “I— I didn’t do anything! I don’t even know you! Put me down!”

Geto’s brows furrowed deeply, his blood boiling, “You sly piece of shit, you deserve what’s coming,” Geto says through clenched teeth, and throws Daniel across the shiny floor. He slides a few yards before coming to a stop. He curls into a ball as Geto angrily approaches him, crouching down and pulling his head back by his hair. 

“You think this is funny? Showing up to your old workplace just to harass someone again?” Geto raises his voice. 

“N-no, I didn’t—” Daniel quivers, but Geto’s not hearing it. 

“Like hell you didn’t,” Geto bites back, then performs a jujutsu technique that has the man being catapulted against the wall so forcefully that it cracks.  

Daniel is knocked out cold. You cover your mouth in shock before you rush over to Geto’s side and hold onto his arm, “Sugu…”

At the same time, security guards rush over to both Geto and Daniel and police had been called as well. The security guard recognises you but says to Geto, “Sir, police have been called. We ask for your cooperation.”

“You don’t want me to leave the premises?” Geto asks coolly, swiping some sweat off his cheek with his thumb. 

“No, sir,” the security guard gestures for Geto to follow him and waits for him to do so. 

You look at Geto helplessly. “Sugu, I’m sorry—” you begin and he frowns. 

“Why’re you sorry? This isn’t your fault. I acted in your defence. He was clearly coming at you,” he says, his eyes searching yours, placing his hands on your arms and caressing them gently. You relax a little bit. He’s right, of course. 

“They can charge me but if any, it’s likely they’ll be dropped. There’s CCTV here, and the security guards,” he looks over to the security guard stood waiting beside you both and speaks directly to him, “were clearly negligent in carrying out their jobs to allow someone who’d been fired for harassment back into the building again.”

The guard swallows thickly. You try to hide your smile at how Geto’s handling this, it’s admirable to see. 

“There’s no problem for me, I’ll happily cooperate and give my statement to the police. The evidence is right there,” Geto says to you and nods his head to the CCTV cameras overhead. 

“Can I come with you?” You ask, and he outstretches his arm. 

“They’ll probably want a statement from you too. It’s best if you did,” he says and you both walk with the security guard to the side. 

Police arrive, take statements, and evidence of the CCTV. They determine there’s no charges. You head back home with Suguru and take the day off. 

He’d made your favourite meal for lunch, and as you’re curled up together on the couch eating and watching TV, you kiss his cheek. “It’s sweet having you as my bodyguard.”

“I like being it too,” he replies and glances over to you with a tender gaze, feeling content that he’s the one to protect you and keep you safe. 

“Does this mean we can do bodyguard role play in the bedroom?” You say and he coughs, almost choking on his food. 

You laugh quietly and pat his back as he says your name, “Now that, I didn’t expect.”

“Is that a yes?” You grin as he sips on his drink, eyeing you over the rim.

He sets his glass down and smirks, “It certainly is.”

Do not copy or translate my work. © ashasdiary, all rights reserved. Divider by cafekitsune

[ravengards-rogue]

bright as the morning, soft as the rain

sebastian (stardew valley) x reader

✧ tags : gender neutral reader, canon divergence, a lot of author liberties, alcohol, fluffy, pre-relationship, mildly suggestive but sooo mildly lol.

✧ wc : 3.4k (this is ridiculous lol)

✧ a/n : the thing to get me out of my writing slump being sdv fanfiction is hilarious.

hi! this is the first part to a silly little alternative first kiss series i have planned for the stardew romanceable characters. i think the other ones will be shorter (hopefully but lol).

i will link the rest of them as they get posted. i hope u like. rbs appreciated. also tagging @antique-remains (hi this is fang on my side blog lol)

✧ synopsis : sebastian wants to do anything but think of you. he's failing miserably on that front. sam and abigail are not helping.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

“Earth to Sebastian,” Sam snaps his fingers in front of Sebastian’s face. Sebastian jumps in his skin. “What’s with you today? If you’re not gonna take our pool playing tradition seriously, I’m not playing.”  

He swipes a hand over his face, cursing under his breath. Half-empty Joja-Cola can sits directly besides his pool stick, the faint air of smoke and liquor in the air. Right. He’s here to play pool.  

 He pinches the bridge of his nose with exasperation, shaking off the feeling before scratching the back of his neck.  

“No, sorry. I wanna play, just…give me a sec.”  

“Got something on your mind Seb?”  Abigail prods, unfortunately intuitive. Sebastian scowls at her. She stands to her feet to get closer, sitting on the edge of the pool table with her cheek turned just enough to look at him. Her smile is coy. “A certain someone, maybe?”  

His scowl deepens, lip curled in distaste. “No. Move. You’re in my way.”  

“You’re a bad liar.” Abigail says with a resigned sigh, arms crossed. “You weren’t this spacey last time you dated someone. ”  

“Fuck off,” Sebastian sighs. “It’s not like that yet.”  

Abigail grins before Sebastian can  correct the slip up. “Yet. Yet, he says.” 

Sebastian feels himself blush. “Ugh.” 

He sighs as he stands back up, leaning against his pool stick. Sam stops whatever he was doing (messing with the pool table deliberately, Sebastian assumes), taking newfound interest in the conversation.  

“Oh, you two talking about our new neighbor?” 

“Not really new. It’s been like… what a year or two almost?” Abigail adds. Sam shrugs.  

“That’s true. But it feels new to me anyway.” Sam says. He gives up on pool it seems like, abandoning his stick on the table in favor of navigating to the box pizza balancing on another table nearby and his drink. Sebastian watches him shimmy a slice of the pie, not bothering to blow on it as he eats. “Oh is that why your heads in the clouds? Figures.”  

“I didn’t say that. Abigail said that.”  

“And you’re saying she’s wrong?”  

Sebastian huffs. “…Yes.”  

Sam laughs good-naturedly. “Pfft. Uh-huh, yeah. I super believe you.”  

“Fuck you both.” 

“Come on, Seb. It’s not like everyone in town doesn’t know.”  

Sebastian’s frown deepens. “Not everyone.”  

Sam seats himself on the couch again and Abigail joins him. It creaks under the weight of them as they get comfortable together. Sebastian stays where he is, sitting on the tables edge with a drink in his hand and an itch for a cigarette.  

Sam counts on his fingers. “Your mom knows. My mom knows. Abby’s mom knows. If they all know then our dads definitely also know. Who else does that leave? Our towns tiny dude. Like I’d say Elliot doesn’t, but he’s here on Friday’s and he catches up with gossip all the time. So basically everyone.”  

“…Shit.”  

“See? Told you.”  

Sebastian doesn’t need everyone to know what’s going on between you. He doesn’t even know what’s going on between you. It’s taken him longer than he cares to admit to even acknowledge that there was something there. And he didn’t know it was mutual until recently when Abigail came dropped by to tell him she overheard her dad explaining old Pelican Town traditions on dating and romance. 

(Abigail always describes things in excruciating detail, adding all the bells and whistles. This makes her great to play the Solarion Chronicles with.  

It also makes her  good at artfully recounting interactions. He can easily picture you the way she said she saw you, overalls  half unbuttoned, dirt covered and leaning over the counter just slightly giving Pierre your rapt attention.   

The thought of it is enough to trigger some sense of affection he’s never entirely felt before.)  

It’s not like Sebastian is against the idea of dating you, it’s just— 

“I think you should go out with them Seb. I like ‘em a lot more than your exes.”  

Sebastian sighs. “You guys know why I’m on the fence.”  

Sam shrugs. “Does they even count though? They’re not actually from here. They live here sure but they didn’t grow up here.”  

“Right? That’s what I think too. Might as well go for it.” Abigail shrugs, glancing at Sebastian. “I really don’t get why you’re hesitating. Something else has to bugging you.”  

“I thought that too.” Sam adds. 

A faint blush creeps up his neck. He loves his friends and sometimes, he appreciates how well they know him. Times like this, he thinks it wouldn’t kill them to be a little less perceptive.  

They’re not wrong. It is something of a flimsy excuse to try not to think about you. Sebastian has always had a not dating policy about people he grew up with. He nearly dated Abigail in highschool and it was a shitshow. So he’s vowed to never do it again.  

But that’s not the real reason he’s been rejecting the possibility in his head. He uses it more for himself than anyone else. It’s not like he can give them the real answer because he thinks it’s one hundred times more embarrassing.  

How the fuck is he meant to tell them the reason he keeps hesitating to define your relationship is because he feels like he likes you too much?  

That’s the real reason he’s going in circles about it. It’s so cringe it makes him want to break out in hives but well, it is true. Sebastian likes you—like really fucking likes you—and it’s freaking him out because he thinks it’s the first time he’s really liked anyone.  

Dating has never been all that fun for Sebastian. It wasn’t something that felt meaningful. He dated mostly in college and only one of those relationships lasted a significant amount of time. And even then the relationship was never all that genuine. They ultimately broke up because Sebastian realized they were fundamentally incompatible. As bad as it sounds, there wasn’t a real sense of attachment there, not once. It was just convenient for both of them. He realized at that point he should probably just focus on himself.  

That was about when he moved back home to the valley to live with his family in his post graduation.  

And he had honestly expected it to be another few mundane years, akin to his early adolescence. He was so sure that he would spend it with the same restless feeling in his stomach, the same longing to be somewhere else. If he could never feel any belonging, at least he wanted to be somewhere he could blend in. He thought for sure moving back to Pelican Town was going to be nothing but dreadful and boring and existential. That he would come back and remember why he wanted to leave in the first place.  

Until one day, someone from the city moved into the old, overgrown farm and turned the entirety of the valley upside down.  

When you met for the first time, Sebastian honestly didn’t care. Nothing goes on in Pelican Town, so he figured you’d be the main subject of gossip for a few weeks before ultimately blending into the background of his life just like everyone else. He also didn’t think you’d last long living here. You were part of the corporate rat race he so detests and you didn’t grow up in the valley. It’s a hard place to get used to after living somewhere more populated.  

Against all odds  though - you did stay. And you’ve integrated yourself so much with the people living—himself included here it kind of baffles him. He doesn’t entirely remember what it was like before you came here.   

Sebastian couldn’t have predicted in a million years that that stupid help wanted sign in front of Pierre’s store would start actually being useful. But lo and behold, at least three times a week he finds you with full pockets - jogging after whomever last posted to give them what they need. And you do that without anyone really asking you too.  

You’re just so… helpful. And social in a way he can’t describe. Everyone in town has nothing but nice things to say about you. You’ve given everyone a gift on their birthday thus far. You’re keeping the entire economy afloat with your farm right now and you regularly clear those mines out for monsters. You even paid for the bus to get repaired, too - so now it’s up and running again.  

You’re full of surprises. And easy to adore, himself included.  

What surprises him most often is how easy it is for him to be around you. He doesn’t turn you away even when you visit his room sharply at 9am and hover over him in bed. He doesn’t get even the slightest bit upset when you have a mundane and disruptive conversation hours before he usually gets up. He keeps everything you’ve ever gifted him, and he often thinks of inviting you to things he does with his friends. He smiles when he sees you running around doing some chore, frantic and covered in muck - all mess and sunlight.  

You’re… nice. Honest, hard-working, and cheerful. Kind. Sincere in wanting to know him. You should completely and utterly exhaust him given those are your main characteristics. You should be someone he’s simply fundamentally incompatible with. 

But more than anything, you’re thoughtful. And it disarms him so utterly he feels overwhelmed by the thought. From the start, you put in a lot of effort into maintaining connections and he was no different. It’s just impacted him so much more than he thought it would. If he lets himself think too far on it, he really won’t stop thinking about you.  

To the point he’s been picturing what it’s like to live on the farm.  He’s in deep. 

Despite all of your idiosyncrasies, you really seem to give a shit about things in a way that feels utterly foreign to him. This extends to anything and everything. It extends to Sebastian, and it shows in the ways you don’t undermine him. Little things. You take his work seriously and apologize for disturbing him, you don’t immediately take the side of his family when he talks about them despite being friends with them too, you don’t interrogate him about what he is or is not comfortable with. You show up and linger in his life, and then you go off to your own thing. 

More and more, he gets the urge to stop you before you go. It’s too much. It makes him act…lame and he’s not too fond of it. He’s never really felt this strongly about anyone before and he’s a little bit of a wreck about what it does to him. So it’s not that he doesn’t want to date you, but more that he does so bad he doesn’t even want to admit it.  

 But well.. He isn’t sure it’s even working. As soon as you walk into a room it’s like— 

He’s lost in his thoughts for a while, only to get pulled out of them by some big commotion happening in the main part of the saloon.  

“Ah, you’re here. What perfect timing kid,”   

Shit. Shit  

Only somewhat obscured by the distance and wall separating their space from the bar - Sebastian catches a glimpse of you and feels something uncomfortably warm in his chest. His friends both make little oooh sounds, no doubt planning to do something stupid. He should intervene but he gets too caught up in pretending he doesn’t see you. Turning away stiffly, he pretends to be looking at something else while he listens on your conversation. It’s not too hard to hear, anyway.  

“Hi, Pam.” He can practically hear the smile in your voice. “Here’s your ale. Managed to grow a hops plant indoors this season so the brew is pretty fresh. It’s strong, fair warning.”  

A beat of muffle conversations follows up with a a loud sigh. “That’s exactly what I needed. Your pretty good with your liquor and spirits, huh kid? Thanks for the drink. Here’s what I owe ya.”  

“Selling alcohol under the table at my establishment? Tsk tsk.” Gus adds.  

It’s at this point Sebastian lets himself look at you properly. You lean with your elbows against the counter. You look a mess like usual, but you’ve got on a cowboy hat today that Sebastian finds ridiculously cute. You smile at Gus sheepishly.  

“Sorry. Can I buy myself a drink to make up for it?” You offer.  

“I’ll do you one better and give it to you on the house.”  

“Aw, what? Can’t let you do that Gus.”  

“You can and you will. You’re always looking out for everyone. Here, it’s a nice imported IPA. Nice and cold. Have a drink and go relax. Some of your friends are here too tonight I think.”  

“Oh?”  

On cue, you turn your head to the group of them. When you and Sebastian meet eyes, you brighten visbly - all smiles. He’s so caught up in it, he doesn’t even catch Sam next to him until he throw an arm around his shoulder and waves you over.  

You weave through the tables until you cross the threshold of their little hide-out. Abigail greets you first with a short sidehug before you go over to him and Sam.  

“Hey,”  

“Hi Sam.” You pause, tilting your head. “Did you cut your hair? It’s shorter than usual.”  

Sam beams. “I did! And you’re the first one to notice, other than my mom. Goes to show who my real friends are,”  

Sebastian nudges him, pulling away from his grip. “I see enough of your face everyday. There’s nothing for me to observe.”  

“It looks nice,” You add. Charming and genuine. Sam smiles at you. 

“Thanks,”  

Sebastian is weirdly jealous until you address him in conversation. “Hey to you too Sebastian.”  

His heart thumps. This is ridiculous. He swallows. “Hey. Uh. How have you been?”  

Awkward. So awkward. You smile a little and lean on the pool table besides him with your drink, taking a sip. “Good. Busy as usually getting ready for Winter. Renovated our coop recently so I’ve got a whole bunch of baby bunnies I gotta take care of. Went and bought another heater, some extra hay. Just farm stuff. Not very interesting,”  

“I find it interesting,” He replies quickly. You lip twitches in a smile.  

“I’m glad.”  

“Baby bunnies sound so cute,” Abigail adds. Sebastian glances at her as she joins the rest of them. “What else have you got in there?”  

“A little of everything. Chickens, ducks. I’ve got a void chicken too, kinda freaky. Oh and these little dino looking guys.”  

Abigail looks bright eyed. “Would it be like… weird if I asked to go over? I kinda wanna see them?”  

You laugh. “Not at all. I don’t mind. You could honestly go over whenever but it’s hard to navigate the farm if I’m not there, though I’m trying to fix that this upcoming winter.”  

You glance then at Sebastian, eyes almost sparkling. “You should come over sometime, too. You’d like the void chicken I think. And I’ve got a slime hutch.”  

Sebastian sputters at the obvious invitation only barely managing to cover up the shock to his system. You don’t seem put off, but it’s obvious you know what you’re doing. He’s going to explode.  

Abigail and Sam make not-so-subtle eye contact before Sam clears his throat.  

“Well, uh, me and Abi are gonna head out. We’ve got some stuff to catch up on, but there’s still a few hours until the saloon closes so you two should stay here and finish up  our drinks and stuff. Uh… yeah. See you again,”  

Sam nods, quickly rifling for his things. Abigail follows in his foot steps.  

“Mhm, yep. See you,”  

Sam gives him one last encouraging look before turning around and leaving. The two of them scurry off in a blink of an eye, before Sebastian can get a single word in about the situation or tell them to stay. And now he’s alone with you, quietly wondering if it’s as awkward as it feels.  

You’re the one to break the ice. “Do you have anywhere you need to be tomorrow?”  

Sebastian blinks. “Uh no. Not really.”  

“Me either. We should stay back then, for a little while.” You offer with a shrug. “Why not, right?”  

Right. Sebastian is being really chill about this entire interaction. “Right.”  

“I’m glad I got to see you tonight,” You say, out of the blue. Sebastian nearly jumps in his skin at the admission. “I’ve been pretty busy with the growing season ending so I haven’t been you know, able to come by as often. I don’t know if it made a huge difference to you but—“ 

“It did.” He blurts out. Your mouth opens then closes again, a blush crawling up his neck as he tucks his chin in embarrassment. “It was uh, weird for me. I know you’re busy and I like my alone time but I did… miss you.” 

“Yeah?”  

He’s almost too afraid to meet your eyes. When he manages  - you’re smiling fondly, sweetly with a sense of amusement. It rolls off of you in waves and it becomes clear to him in that split second that you don’t really intend to hide how you feel despite him being so hellbent on making sure he does. You’re not hiding that you like him. It feels stupidly warm and fuzzy.  

You look like you’ve been working all day and you smell a little like grass and rain in a way that makes him want to draw that much closer to you. So he does, leaving into your space.  

“Yeah.” He manages, barely getting the words out without being a complete wreck. “It’s new for me.”  

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever they say.” And then, even more sweetly. “I missed you too.”  

Fuck. You’re… fuck.  

Sebastian pretends to wipe something from his face just to cover it and make his blush less obvious. This is embarrassing. He likes you so much and for what.  

There’s a million things he wants to tell you but he can’t find the words for any of them. So he tucks in on himself and wonders how the fuck he would ever go about actually dating you.  

You inch closer to him. Tentative, until your thighs are touching. He doesn’t move away.  

Suddenly, you’re close to him than you’ve ever been. Looking from the corner of your eye, Sebastian turns his head to meet your gaze. You’re an inch apart, and he’s looking at your lips - slightly chapped from the weather. The faint scent of alcohol on your breath makes him dizzy. Your smile is what does him in ultimately. A subtle tug at the corners of your mouth, a little teeth. Something about it precious.  

“Hey,” You mutter.  

“Hm,”  

“Can I kiss you?” 

He responds with leaning forward to do it first. It’s chaste and easy, and he does it because you’ve already taken so many first steps and he should, at least, take this one. So he leans into kiss you and it feels like his whole body is melting. It’s brief and light and he pulls away before it feels like it should be over.  

You part for a breath, a single heartbeat - before your hands go up to cradle the side of his face. You kiss him deeper that time. A real kiss where he can taste you enough to know that you drank - one he would only want to do in the privacy of this confined spaced. He feels you in your entirety  - returns your gesture with a careful hand on your waist that you don’t pull away from.  

And it doesn’t stop. Like neither of you want it too, despite everything else. Despite the fact he’s doing this in the bar of his hometown where everyone will gossip about it without doubt, and despite knowing that  - the drive to kiss you is stronger than his usual sensibilities. So you kiss and kiss and kiss, short presses followed by long, firm ones. A slight brush of tongue, the soft nip of teeth as you tease and tug. All mirth and amusement and fondness and bravery and god he is so into you it’s ridiculous.  

You manage to pull away from each other after a while. His lips are tingly. And there’s a sheepishness to you both that makes it hard for him to look your way.  

“Hey, Sebastian.”  

He clears his throat.  

“Uh. Yeah?”  

“I’m gonna ask you out tomorrow. Properly.”  

He blushes. “…I’d be cool with that.”  

You grin. “Yeah?”   

Shit he’s happy. He is not gonna get a lick of sleep tonight. He smiles a little to himself.  

“Yeah.”  

.𖥔 ݁ ˖˚☽˚｡⋆

[fallstaticexit]

Ahhh it's been 65 years, and I feel kinda crazy that I've had this sitting in my drafts for like 2 months. Assuming most readers of Missing Moments are also The Art of Being Seen readers- there's some hefty lore here that will come into play later.

prev/ next

Olive: Time to move on, right Kia?

[phone pings]

Nancy: Hello darling. Do you have a moment to talk?

Olive: Who’s this?

Olive: I don’t recall saying yes.

Nancy: [sighs] It feels so good to hear your voice again.

Olive: I only answered to tell you to block me.

Nancy: I would never.

Olive: Even though I asked?

Nancy: Well. I am incredibly selfish.

Olive: Why did you call me?

Nancy: I would like to see you, Olivia. Please.

Olive: I’m not for sale, sorry.

Nancy: I know. I wouldn’t want to meet on those terms again. If I could do it all over, I would have asked you to have dinner with me when I met you. I would have courted you properly, Olivia.

Olive: [scoffs] You would have gone to a strip club and asked a stripper to have dinner with you? Seriously? When would we have ever met under any other circumstance? It’s been made very clear to me how different we are. The only way this would have happened was if it were a fairy tale.

Nancy: What matters is, I have met you. I’ve experienced you and I can’t go back. My husband- my ex husband- he signed the petition for our divorce. I came out to him- officially. It’s over.

Olive: [stunned] That’s- that’s great. I am so happy for you-

Nancy: I’m leaving all of it. I’m starting over. All I want is you, if you’ll have me.

Olive: [sighs]

Nancy: Let’s just have one dinner and after we’ve talk, then you can decide. There’s so much I want to say, but I want to look you in the eyes as I say it.

Olive: One dinner?

Nancy: One dinner.

Nancy: May I see you tonight? I’ll send my driver and I’ll cook for you at my place. Anything you like.

Olive: Tonight is fine.. sure.

Nancy: [sighs happily] It’ll be hard not to kiss you the moment I see you-

Olive: Not too much, lover girl. It’s one dinner and I’m still very annoyed with you about all this, ok?

Nancy: Yes, my love. I’ll see you tonight.

Olive: And don’t look at me like that. It’s just dinner and a conversation, ok? I am not going to sleep with her ok?

Malcolm: Well. Now I see why my mother was so willing to ruin an entire empire over you. Those mugshots did you no justice.

Olive: What is this? Where’s Nancy?

Malcolm: I noticed our driver was heading this way, I figured I’d tag along. Sight see. Get in. Let’s chat.

Malcolm: I wonder if this feels like dejavu to my mother. She makes yet another thoughtless mistake and someone comes along to make it all go away. She has a nasty habit of that, you know.

Olive: Listen. I’m not feeling whatever family drama you all have going on. I don’t want to talk to you. I want to talk to Nancy.

Malcolm: I was raised by a narcissistic liar and a spineless coward. If I let this company fall apart, then wouldn’t it all had been for nothing?

Olive: [scoffs] So you want pity? I’m suppose to pity you? Give me a break.

Malcolm: Not pity, no. If anything, I pity you.

Olive: Is that right?

Malcolm: When it comes to success, you pale in comparison to your half siblings. You’ve financially crippled your parents in legal fees since your arrest and all you have to show for it is by shaking ass in a low end strip club in the Spice District. That’s right, I know alot about you Olivia Briar.

Malcolm: I know about that quaint little family of yours down in the country. I know about your niece’s struggling restaurant and her undocumented partner. Funny, he’s able to acquire loans under a fake name but there’s no records of a Noa Briar anywhere. I wonder what else your family is hiding.

Olive: [shaken] What is this about? Are you threatening me? What the fuck do you want?

Malcolm: I’m here to help you, not hurt you. One of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned was the power of the dollar. I can make a lot of your problems go away with one deposit if you do just one thing.

Olive: [softly] ....What?

Malcolm: We’re going to turn around and park in front of your building. You’re going to go upstairs, pack up your things and then, you’re going to go back home to sweet old Henford. You’ll pay your parents back with the money you’ll receive from this arrangement and you’ll help your niece and nephew. All your problems - poof- gone.

Malcolm: All you have to do is walk away, and stay away. You see, my mother has a nasty debt to this family she still needs to pay. Don’t make it your burden.

[klinefelterrible]

sooo I’m doing it for @k-kizkhalifa :} Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

There are times when I daydream a lot about a certain idea, like for example about the one about pairing Ron with Blaise, but mostly it’s just a Boom! and if I don’t write it now, it’s dead and gone.

Where do you get your fic ideas?

I imagine my (as in “original but in my way” or headcanonly or au) characters during certain activities (mostly: fucking) and I add something or someone extra, or I set the scene right before or after - as it comes to me.

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

I rarely have a big idea that is different than a shortie I am writing or wrote already, but in my head it’s like once I say it, it’s done and gone - so sharing is equal to abandoning it most likely forever

How do you choose which fics to write?

Since I don’t understand the question really I will try answering how I feel it: I choose just by how I feel about right now. When I think of Eomer, I write about Eomer. As simple as that.

How many wips do you have? What fandoms/pairings are they for?

GURL YOU NOT READY!

I have many wips, mostly of HP wizarding world, and probably sometime soon I will release another chapter of two halves of Draco’s broken wand and my favourite pairing there is Draco/Bill Weasley and Fred/George/Hermione and since it’s me, it’s going to be juicy as fuck. Literally.

What’s the last line you wrote?

“He’s a cuckoo”

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Draco is being blackmailed and fucked by Bill Weasley

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

M u l t i p l e

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

I truly have no idea what I’m doing

Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines? How far do you stray from them?

It depends. For Lucy I invented a whole new interest and branch of magical creatures for Lucius to be interested in and for the moment I was even sad that I am doing all this work to finish it with some porn scene.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

Rarely as I am bilingual and most of the music I listen to is English so I get distracted very easily

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

Any. Sometimes I park my car on my driveway and just START WRITING

What’s your favorite time to write?

Any. No particular favourite time. But I don’t like meal time to use on writing if I really must differentiate between this or that

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

99% phone.

Do you have a writing routine?

I barely have any routines!

Do you enjoy research? Which fic of yours required the most research?

Research yes, sometimes a lot! But for a fic? They don’t require much researching… maybe just checking if I remember something correctly or not.

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

I like creating OCs based on characters from other fiction and I am not ashamed at all.

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Asking that a guy who writes hardcore gay porn from Wizarding World…

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Why not both at once?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

I hate titling!

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

I never know how to end stuff. Ever. Anything. I have to force myself to shut the fuck up.

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

I don’t like POVs

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

The part when I am just a finger that clicks and my subconsciousness does everything else.

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

Making sure it all makes sense! Fuck. That!

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

Area of writing? As in I AM A DIALOGUE MASTER and a little bitch for remembering what the fuck did I start with

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

I won’t improve in remembering so maybe I can start making sense more…?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

I can make literally anything about gay men crossdressing or women wearing high heels and sometimes I can even make them sassy. I am not proud of myself at all so whatever

How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Wips are being edited hard, especially longshots. I write, I stop, I edit two weeks later, I write and so on and it all depends on my mood.

Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Only for bigger or more serious projects and even then extremely rarely because I don’t know anyone that committed to my writing or weird enough and with so much free time

Do you take fic requests? Why or why not?

I WOULD TAKE REQUESTS ANYTIME BUT BEAR IN MIND THAT I AM NOT VERY GOOD AND YOU WILL SUFFER A LOT OF GAYNESS AND WEIRD SEX IN THEM, hit me up only if you’re ready for some hardcore porn or smut or sass

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

I never think of that

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

Barely anything other than sass and heels and my own stupidity

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

I am currently a fan of my short incorrect quotes, it’s my most recent and most read work on ao3.

What fic are you proudest of?

Two Halves of Draco’s broken wand maybe?

What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

WHAT IS WIP IS A WIP BECAUSE IT IS HARD FOR SOME REASON

What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

Everyone would want a friend like you

What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

all of them :>

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

I honestly have no clue!

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

From a fic? I enjoy writing young Narcissa, but frankly speaking I loved writing young Lucius and adult Draco.

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I hate titling! Next question!

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Next question!

What is your favorite genre to write?

Genre… as in dialogue-based fantasy weirdness?

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

PORN

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

one type as in the one where guys that canonically don’t fuck all of the sudden do?

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

naaah

Who is your favorite character to write for? Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

my most favourite of all times character is Sam Vimes but I don’t want to write ff about him really that much

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

oh geez if you really need to think of me as a writer, please don’t read my fanfics EVER, I am writing them for fun and for fun only

How would you describe your writing style?

Funny, weird and sometimes even full of meaningful connections between the characters

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

I try to be as good as my favourite writers!

What’s the average word count of your fics?

as me if I care about the numbers again and I will start telling random things

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

maybe… blow jobs? High heels?

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

Harry/Draco!

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

well yeah, blowjobs, denial, high heels, netorare, crossdressing, getting convinced, girls knowing and getting what they want… stuff like that

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

If I had, they’d be done already

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

I have no idea. Next!

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

No idea. Next!

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges? If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

not yet! I plan on getting at drarry in january 2025!

Arethere any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

The only fics that ever influenced me to write anyhow were Guarding Dark and some other fic about Sphene/Zeiat from but it was about writing more, not how

What are your favorite fics at the moment?

previously mentioned Guarding Dark, about death of Sam Vimes and dwarvish mine sign that happened afterwards. A very good fic, really a small treasure.

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

no… I am a terrible subscription reader, I never have time and I always postpone to the point I hate myself

Do you spend more time reading or writing?

lately writing, but it’s a wave

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

that someone read my book/story/fic and loved it or that it resonated with them somehow

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

that it is funny I guess

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

yeah all the shorties that got little to no hearts on tumblr, it’s always that longer one that someone didn’t read whole I presume… if it’s long I had an idea! Not always a good one, but long idea anyway

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

yeah my collection of those shortest fics is currently my most read anything on ao3 like wtf

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

there is no external pressure but internally I am in a constant state of chaos so I really have no idea what I’m doing. Sometimes I feel pressure, sometimes I don’t.

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

are you kidding me? It makes me happy, it makes other people happy and it’s an act of creation so naturally I enjoy that. Also that bitch jkr did nothing to make them more interesting so I had to make a stand for them

What motivates you during the writing process?

a thought that “this will be fun”

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

just write anytime you feel like writing, if you don’t have an idea for a name or some other detail, simply put [name] or [detail] and continue and it will clarify later if the character is Clark Bones, an architect who likes tomatoes or a Roan Desmond Ruttington, a gardener who killed his mother’s lover when he was twelve and noone ever found out; never let yourself stumble on some minor details and change major things AFTER you write an entire chapters or bigger parts, really, you will thank me later. Also if you write sex, please please please remember that fucking is a machine-like activity and courting and talking about it must be witty, with a good taste and if not that, at least dont be gross and remember that there is nothing less fun than gross AND boring sex scenes.

Thank you, Kiz!

Fanfiction Writing Asks

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

Where do you get your fic ideas?

Do you share your fic ideas, or do you keep them to yourself?

How do you choose which fics to write?

How many wips do you have?  What fandoms/pairings are they for?

What’s the last line you wrote?

Post a snippet from a wip.

Post an out-of-context spoiler from a wip.

Does this word [chosen by asker] appear in your current wip?

Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time?

Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

Do you outline your fics?  If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

Do you listen to music while you write?  If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

What is your favorite location and position to write in?

What’s your favorite time to write?

Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Do you have a writing routine?

Do you enjoy research?  Which fic of yours required the most research?

Do you enjoy creating OCs or do you prefer to stick solely to canon characters?

Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

Do you prefer writing chaptered fics or one-shots?

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process?  How do you come up with titles?

Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

How do you choose whose POV to write in?

What’s your favorite part of the writing process (worldbuilding, brainstorming/outlining, writing, editing, etc)?

What’s your least favorite part of the writing process?

What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

What area of writing do you want to improve in?

What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

Do you use a beta reader/editor?

Do you take fic requests?  Why or why not?

Is there a specific word count that you hold yourself to/enjoy writing the most?

How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?

What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

What fic are you proudest of?

What fic has been the hardest for you to write?

What is your most self-indulgent posted story?

What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

What is your favorite world that you’ve created for a fic?

Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

What is your favorite genre to write?

What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Is there a trope that you’ve written before but are now sick of?

Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

How would you describe your writing style?

Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

What’s the average word count of your fics?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

What’s the fandom/pairing distribution of your posted fics?

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

How conscious are you about including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?

In [insert fic], what inspired the idea for the plot?

In [insert fic], what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

In [insert fic], is there a deleted scene/idea you wish you could have included?  Why did it get cut?

What was the hardest part of writing [insert fic]?

If you rewrote [insert fic] now, would you change anything?

If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would happen in it?

What’s a fun fact about [insert fic]?

If a fic was titled [insert made up title], what would this story be about/how would you write it?

Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

What are your favorite fics at the moment?

Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

Do you spend more time reading or writing?

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

What do you tend to get complimented on the most about your writing?

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?

How do you deal with writing pressure, whether internal or external?

Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

What motivates you during the writing process?

Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Free space - asker can come up with any writing or fic-related question they want!

[sturnstars5]

i love you, i’m sorry-matt sturniolo

you and matt swore you were done, but are you?

warnings: fluff, swearing, happy ending

*there is a flashback in the story it’s in blue!*

empty. emptiness was what you felt. it had been two weeks since you left the love of your life, matt. you try to tell yourself, “well, it was his fault” or “i’ll be better off without him, it’ll just take time”, but nothing worked. you missed him.

you sat on your couch, something you had been doing more than usual lately, and stared outside through the window. you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything other than overthink. you would replay the moments of you and matt’s breakup argument in your mind, like it was a movie on loop 24/7. and just when you would feel a sliver of joy, the movie would start again, leaving you to drown in self pity.

it was getting late, so you picked yourself up off of the couch and laid down in bed, staring at the ceiling. sleep wasn’t exactly on your side.

it was about 1:30 am, and you were still awake when you heard your front door creak open.

what the fuck?

you sat straight up and froze, paralyzed in fear, not knowing what to to next. normally, matt would take control and go see what was happening, but he wasn’t there. he was gone.

you hear the persons foot steps get louder and louder until you hear them stop right in front of your bedroom door.

the door opened slowly, revealing a puffy eyed, sad looking matt.

he looked awful to say the least, he looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. his face was all swollen, his eyes bloodshot with dark bags under them. his face was glistening with tears, and his nose was runny.

“matt,” you say.

“i know, i should’ve called, im sorry.”

“you almost gave me a heart attack! do you know what time it is?”

“yes, i know, okay? i said im sorry.”

“why are you here matt, i thought we were over.”

“i know that’s what we said, but i cant stop thinking about you, about us.”

“matt,”

“i know, y/n, i know what i did was wrong. going to that party was a whole wrong decision in itself. but i still love you, y/n.”

“but matt, you pinky swore you wouldn’t cheat, and you broke it! how am i supposed to trust you now?”

“i don’t know, i just hope you can find it in your heart to give me one more chance.”

you think back to the night you found out about the party…

1:00 am, 2:15 am, 3:40 am, matt still wasn’t home. he said he was filming with his brothers, and you believed him. you called him, and he didn’t answer,m. you then called nick and chris, and they didn’t answer either. you give up, just telling yourself that their phones died, and you go scroll on instagram in your bed. nick posted a picture of himself and chris at a party.

where was matt?

you look harder, only to see matt’s lips pressed against another girl. her hands threading through his soft brown hair. matt was yours, so why was he with her?

matt arrived home, drunk, stumbling lazily into your shared bedroom.

“hey baby.” he says with a smirk.

“don’t call me that, matthew.”

“what the fuck is your deal, y/n?”

“this!” you say, throwing your phone in his face. you’re zoomed in on him and the other girl, matt looking at the photo. even his drunken state cant cover up the guilt and regret in his mind.

“who’s that?” he says, lying.

“that’s you, matt! who else would it be? you know what you did matt, and i know too. i’m not as dumb as you think i am.”

“it was just one kiss, so what? it was a party, and we were needy and drunk.”

“have you lost your fucking mind, matt?

“no i haven’t, but clearly you have, bitch!”

“i’m not gonna be talked to like this by my own boyfriend, so get out.”

“what?”

“i said, get. out. matt. we’re done.”

“come on, don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?”

“get out! now!”

“y/n?” you hear matt say softly.

you snap out of your memory, taking a second to focus back on reality.

“listen, y/n, i’m not asking for you to let your guard down again and take me back, i just guess i want you to know that i love you, and that im sorry.”

matt stares at you, his face full of desperation and vulnerability, and most of all, regret. a single tear rolls down his face, dropping on the floor as it falls off.

“do you promise to be loyal, matt?”

“yes, of course i do. i wont screw it up this time.”

“i’m serious matt, i cant take that again. i cant go through that again.”

“i promise.”

“okay then.”

“so, what now?” matt asks.

“do you wanna, maybe try again?” you ask softly.

“yes. i swear i wont fuck it all up this time.” matt replies.

you and matt hug, and for the first time in a while, you feel genuinely happy and loved.

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you too matt.”

kind of a rushed fic but wtv!!

[metallicames]

Hello everyone! Here's the third part. Enjoy it!

@nausicaamusiclover20 thank u for your precious translation ❣️

Wild Things

Description: after a crazy night in Seattle you and James ended up in his hotel room, when you wake up in the afternoon you feel so needy, and you start to pleasure him while he's still sleeping...

WARNINGS: smut, explicit content, sex, oral sex, dirty talking

I open my eyes and realize I’m resting against James’s chest, nestled under his arm, my hand on his chest as it rises and falls with his slow breathing. Soft light filters in through the slightly open blinds, and the clock on the nightstand reads 3:20 pm. James is still peacefully asleep. I try to be as quiet as possible as I slip out of bed and make my way to the bathroom.

When I come back, I pause in the doorway, watching him sleep, the sheets barely covering him. There’s something magnetic about him—maybe it’s his scent, the way he looks at me, or that intense aura he carries. Each time, he leaves me speechless. I move closer to the bed, feeling a growing excitement, an attraction that no one else has ever sparked in me before. Kneeling beside him, I trace the fine line of blond hair from his navel downward with my finger, letting my hand linger, on his erection,  wanting to take care of him and make him feel incredible.

After a moment, he lets out a quiet sigh, opens his eyes a little, and sees me next to him, wearing his shirt, looking at him intently. He feels my hand, steady and more insistent with each gentle movement.

“Good morning to you, too,” he says with a roguish smile, the kind that makes my head spin. His deep, warm voice sends a thrill through me.

Slowly, I pull his boxers down, watching him shift and part his legs just enough to make space for me. I lick my fingers, keeping my gaze locked with his, and begin to stroke him, my movements slow and deliberate. The warmth of his skin beneath my hand makes my pulse quicken. “Mhhhh…Fuck” I hear him inhale sharply, his breath catching in the air.

He adjusts, tilting his head slightly to get a better view of me, his eyes darkening with desire. I meet his gaze, and I can see the intensity building in his expression, the way his lips part as if he's trying to hold back. He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes speak to me, filled with that longing I’ve come to crave. I slowly started licking all his dick and I felt his hips lift and his legs stiffen slightly beside me. I continued sucking his dick and sometimes I squeezed his balls and I played them with my tongue.

"Yes, keep going…" I  hear him gasp. I focused on giving him the best experience I could even when the size of him makes it hard to breathe, I tried to not lose control. At one point, he places his hand in my hair, gathering it into a messy ponytail. "I want to watch you while you suck it like this…"

I look at him, my eyes a little glassy, and continue. His moans grow louder, and I can tell I'm doing something right. Then, he breathes out, "Ride me."

His words make me shiver. I'm still sensitive from the night before, but I can’t say no. I need this. I slowly rise and position myself over him. One hand presses against his chest, and with the other, I guide him inside me, moving slowly. He grips my hips, both of us panting as we lock eyes. His gasps make me even wetter, and I feel the heat between us grow stronger. The rough, wild encounters of the night are replaced by slow, sensual movements, each one drawn out and filled with intensity. Our gazes lock, and I feel his eyes on me, full of desire. I love how James can switch between being wild and dominant, and then allow me to take control, following my own pace as I move slowly, savoring every moment.

"James... it's too beautiful!" I whisper breathlessly, my voice trembling with the sensation. I start to increase the rhythm just a little, feeling every inch of him as I move. My head tilts back in sheer bliss, the pleasure overwhelming me. He groans softly, the sound deep and raw, and then his voice drops to a whisper: "You're perfect... keep going..."

I start to feel the growing sensation of pressure and intense pleasure building in my abdomen, but I don’t want this moment to end. I wish I could stay like this forever, that time would just stop. I place my hands on his knees and lift my legs, resting my feet along his sides. From this position, he can see everything—how deeply he fills me, how I respond to him, and I know he sees how wet I am, just for him.

"Oh my god... What a sight!" he exclaims, his eyes fixed on the movements of my hips, mesmerized.

The room is filled with the sound of our skin meeting, our bodies moving together, and the rhythm of our breath. Our moans rise, louder now, overpowering everything else.

"Touch yourself," he commands with a look that stays etched in my mind. There’s something in his gaze I’ve never seen before—pure intensity. I’ve always known James has been with many women, but at this moment, I can't help but feel that these are the most intense experiences he’s ever had. At least for me, they definitely are.

I start to softly touch my breast, my fingers teasing over my skin, letting out quiet moans as I begin to roll my hips. The pleasure begins to build slowly. My hand drifts lower, across his firm abdomen, until I reach the base of his stomach. When I rise again, my hand moves to my own body, my fingers grazing and teasing my clit . I massage it slowly in circular motions, savoring each stroke, and gradually, I start to pick up the pace, my breath quickening.

I can feel his eyes on me, completely captivated, watching every movement, every small shift. The connection between us intensifies with each passing second, and I can’t help but feel even more aroused knowing how much he’s watching my pussy, consumed by the way I move.  "Fffuck… oh, Fuck," I gasp, my breath quickening, my lips catching my lower one in a desperate attempt to hold back the wave of pleasure building inside me. I'm so close, my body tightening around him, and I can tell he feels every shift, every movement. "When you do that, I lose my mind... oh, fuck," he whispers, his voice rough with desire. His hands take control, guiding my rhythm and touching my clit, while I keep my own hands steady on his knees, needing the stability to keep going.

The pressure builds, and I feel myself getting closer, the sensation almost too much to handle. He moves with such intensity, matching my rhythm perfectly, and every soft breath between us makes the connection between us even stronger. I can feel the rush coming, and soon, it's all too much. I squirted a bit in his lower abdomen.I trembled, overwhelmed by the sensation, letting the wave of pleasure take over. “'wow!' He lets out, as his breath becomes increasingly erratic. I've become hypersensitive and instinctively closed my legs, trembling as I decide to give James with the best blowjob I can do. I moved closer between his legs, as I licked his dick, I felt him twisting and lifting his hips. With a hand I started to stroke him and with my tongue I licked the tip of his big dick making sucking motions that made him moan loudly. “God… don’t stop” he continued moaning and putting his hand on my hair, pulling them a little that made me suffocate a bit, but I couldn’t stop, I wanted to drive him crazy. 

He raises his other arm putting in his eyes. I feel that he has spasms and his abdomen tightens, his dick tightens and starts pulsing and it’s swollen. “Damn it” He screamed and kept my head down to make me take all of his hot semen. “You’re crazy” he says, removing his arm from his face. I was happy with my work. I smiled at him while I cleaned my mouth, sucking the remaining semen,  looking at him without ever taking my gaze away. I lie down next to James, letting myself fall onto the mattress. I stare at the ceiling, a small smile forming as I try to process everything that just happened.

"We're good," I say, feeling calm but with my heart still racing a little.

"Good?" he replies, his voice full of wonder. "You completely made me lose my mind… There’s real chemistry between us."

His words make me smile again. It’s exactly what I was thinking. I’ve never felt this kind of connection with anyone before, and it feels effortless, like we’re in sync.

He shifts onto his side, looking at me, and I look back, smiling. We both know something is different, but neither of us says it aloud. The moment just feels right.

[sirsl1ttl3secretary]

I was thinking more like training me to dress sluttier wear more make up getting lip fillers etc and then start making me think about cock all the time so any time I’m alone in a room I can’t help but start rubbing my clit or playing with my nipples then as it progresses any time I’m in the house no matter if others are around I’ll be playing with myself then but you never acknowledge it making it as normal as sitting on my phone. Then as it goes further any time I’m awake all I can think about it playing with myself so I come to you and ask for help. That’s when you teach me the secret to help that feeling… the only way to stop it is to fill up my hole first with small toys like a bullet or a tiny little dildo making me get off on them for a month normalising me fucking myself in the house and car and anywhere else you want me too until I tell you that it’s stopped working or you catch me playing with myself in inappropriate public places then you buy me a new one a little longer and a little wider never admitting you got it me but leaving it on my bed to get home too this process lasts months just going up by half an inch in length and a quarter in width until I’m at your width then each month they just get longer till finally you give me a very special toy it’s s perfect copy of your cock from one of those make a dildo kits you make me use it for longer than the others so you know the effects of the silicone dildo have definitely long past and I’m so needy I’d do anything for release. That’s when you catch me wearing the dildo to school stuffed in my pussy held in place by my panties. We’re in the car almost at school when you find notice your cock becoming erect quickly. Finally… it’s time you think to yourself as you confront me my crop top shows so much underboob and cleavage it might as well not be there and my tiny mini skirt doesn’t do much to help hide what I’ve done. You pull into a nearby empty lay-by that’s just off the main road and leads down to a little parking area once we get there you tell me to open my legs which I do my puffy lips looking radiant in the early morning light. You move my panties to the side and rip out the dildo asking me what the hell I am doing. I pout and look confused before saying “filling my hole daddy” you throw it on the floor and firmly say “get out the car right now!” Without even putting my panties back in place I do as I’m told standing outside the car waiting for what will happen next when you walk round the car open the back door pulling me to the open door you say “this was a very naughty thing to do so now you will be punished. Stand with your legs straight and bend over so your body is lying flat on the seats and your ass is right up in the air. I do as I’m told the cold morning air swirling around my wet needy hole sending shivers through my body. You start to spread my legs a little wider opening my hole even further exposing me the the breeze before saying “your punishment is 5 slaps” you pull your hand back and get ready to spank me hard the tears of teasing taking over and come down hard on my left ass cheek “one” then again “two” now you swap to my right cheek “three” then you get an idea you go again on the right cheek “four” then pull my legs open lining your hand up with my clit before spanking it the hardest of all the hits “five” as soon as you make contact with my clit a moan erupts from my body it was an erotic deep begging moan “daddy I’ve been so naughty punish me again please daddy, I don’t think 5 was a big enough punishment I haven’t learnt my lesson please daddy… punish me harder” the words escape my body before my brain has even processed what’s happening making you chuckle and say “okay then baby if you insist” you spank my clit five more times each time making me wetter and wetter until you know it’s time. You undo your trousers and pull them down a little before bending over me to whisper in my ear “this is what it really means to fill your hole” as you pull on the elastic of your boxers your cock leaps out desperate to finally take what is yours

[fairycosmos]

Hello

Long time follower. Big fan.

Umm i dont have any "real" friends and i feel like i have to vent about what happened to me with someone so plz bare with me.

Yesterday I was sexually assaulted. Outside my own apartment building by a man that is an "aquaintance" at most. I managed to get away by stepping on his foot and elbowing him in the stomach before it went any further. What sucks even more is that I live in a super conservative middle eastern country that has a society that loves to victim blame. I cant even go to the police cuz i have no proof and the sad thing is this the THIRD time in my life of 30 years where i get sexually assaulted. The first time was my cousin when I was 13 and the second time was someone who was a close friend when i was in my 20s. I feel pathetic and cowardly for not speaking up every time it happened. I know I cant tell my family cuz they are religious and all they care about is my "chastity" whatever the fuck that is and i honestly dont know what to do anymore.

Thank you for listening

🪽

hey angel,

i’m so sorry it took me a minute to see this, and honestly, i'm just fkn enraged that you're even in this position to begin with. none of this should’ve ever happened to you, and it’s so beyond messed up that you’ve had to go through it, and more than once, on top of everything else. first, i just want to say that i’m so, so grateful to you for opening up about it, especially when you’re feeling so isolated. it takes so much courage to even put this into words, and i’m honored that you trust me with it at all tbh. as much of an eye roll it is to hear, you’re truly not alone in this. and you’re definitely not “pathetic” or “cowardly” for how things played out or for not feeling like you could speak up before. the way you’re feeling is real, valid, and so understandable—especially when support and safety feel so distant.

it’s beyond unfair to be in a place where victim-blaming is such a huge part of the culture. to have to carry that, while being made to feel like you have to hide this, is an awful weight. but please know, this is not on you—none of it. the guilt and shame that the world tries to put on you is not yours, even if sometimes that feels impossible to believe. grounding yourself in the truth—that you haven’t done anything wrong, no matter how often you have to remind yourself—can be a solid step. and if you believe that for other people who've been in your shoes, then you must believe it for yourself too. ultimately, the shame belongs to the people who assaulted you and a world that hasn’t supported you the way you deserve. please don’t let their actions shape how you see yourself. your survival, your resilience, your courage etc that’s who you are.

there are a few places that might be able to give you some support, even if it’s from a distance. rainn.org offers confidential chat options and resources, and while it’s u.s.-based, it could still be useful if you need a safe space to talk. another is pandora’s project, a support and forum site specifically for survivors. they have spaces where people from all backgrounds, including those with similar cultural challenges, can connect. <3

if you’re open to it, a counselor or therapist who specializes in trauma and works online might be a good option, too. there are so many who understand the importance of privacy and safety in environments where speaking out can be challenging. the International Association for Trauma Professionals has a directory that could help you find someone who’d really get where you’re coming from and respect those unique challenges.

just remember, it’s okay to take this one step at a time. if all you can do today is share this with someone who cares, or offer yourself some compassion and grace to cry and breathe and be pissed and hurt and numb and upset, then that’s more than enough. i believe in your right to feel safe, supported, and heard, and there are people who genuinely want to help you get there, however and whenever you need.

sending you so much love and strength <3 if you need to vent or if you just need someone to talk to, please msg me any time. i understand what it's like to have your boundaries violated too and i know how lonely and painful it is to contend with it in your own head. x

[fushiguwu]

I hate you. getou suguru

CHAPTER 5 from the Summer Fever’s serie!

ft. dilf!getou and gojo’s stepdaughter!reader

warnings: slow burn, enemies to lovers, confessions, use of cigarette (not reader nor getou), kind of angst conversation, use of pet names, sexual tension, making out.

words: 7.4k

a/n: hey sorry for the late but as you can see it was a long chapter, maybe the longest of the serie. hope u like it!

“Sure you got everything?” says your roommate while you two walk to the passenger boarding bridge. She insisted on coming all the way to the airport with you. “Passport, ticket, phone?”

“Yes, I do. I swear. I’m not that dumb” you unconsciously roll your eyes. You know she’s just trying to help you, deep down. She stops you right before getting close to the gates. 

“You promise not to fall in for that guy again?” your friend asks, staring deep into your eyes, holding your wrist, as if she wouldn’t let go if you didn’t say so. You swallow dry and look away. 

You had almost forgotten about him as the year passed: the classes and exams made you busy enough to think about anything else for twelve months. Sometimes, Gojo would send you a message or two, asking how you were doing, if you were going to spend your summer with them, etc. and that’s when you remember him, what he did, what he didn’t. His fucking best friend. Goddamnit. Your blood boils of thinking about it, him and the possibility of seeing him again.

You were thinking about spending your summer break with Nobara, but with her new girlfriend living with her, you thought that maybe shouldn’t invade her privacy that way. She couldn’t be stuck with a third wheeler for one month. So you ask your mom to spend this summer at your grandma’s beach house: far from home and Suguru. Just you, mom, and her two dogs (Gojo included).  

So you say that to your friend, with different words: “Of course! It will be a family vacation. I won’t get a sight of him. Promise.” you let go of her hand. She looks at you hesitant, as if wasn’t sure yet to trust. “I promise” you emphasise. 

It took you a while to digest everything that happened on your summer break when you first arrived back at your dorms, staying almost absolutely silent for a day or two before telling everything gradually  to your roommate. You were still a mix of sadness and anger and she seemed as shocked and upset as you did. She noticed you became hesitant about meeting other people and going to bars or parties after all of that: everytime she went off to a freshman party you chose to stay home and study, or watch a movie alone. Perhaps you were too traumatised to hook up with someone again, she worriedly thought. 

The truth is: you knew no one in there would be your stepdad’s friend or any related to your family again, you just didn’t feel the need to go out with some frat boy or veterans anymore. After being with someone as old and experienced as the fucker one, you unfortunately developed a very poor tolerance for boys your age. You did go to a party or two after the start of semester, but all those guys had such a boring talk: it was always about bragging what they had, what their parents had, how much time they spent working out or doing some sport, normally followed by them showing you their muscles. Needless to say it was all too pitiful —Of course there was a bit of trauma too, but it was mostly just indisposition. 

You hear the last call for the flight and hug her goodbye. She asked you to let her know when you arrived, as you showed the stewardess your ticket and headed inside the platform. 

The flight went well besides the time you spent sitting down on an uncomfortable armchair. Your mom got you on the airport and you went straight to the beach house. The sea horizon looked singularly beautiful as the gradient twilight became darker, and you closer to your destination. The wooden house was just across the beach, only for a thin one way street separating; the facade showed lots of windows, a triangular roof and a little balcony with nothing but a rocking chair and some sand, just above the entrance ladder. As you enter, it was more explicit to be a house owned by an older, and didn’t change a thing since the last time you were there: all the furniture seemed freezed on time, including the tube TV sitting on a small table beside the fireplace. Fortunately, the kitchen had a refrigerator and a microwave, and the bathrooms, hot water. The second floor had three rooms, two with a double bed and one with three single beds, which you thought were the one your mom would sleep in when she was little, with the other kids, the same as you did when you were. 

So you left your suitcase in the second double bedded room, with a huge window to the beach.  At this time, the sun had already set, and you could only hear the waves crashing and have the sight of the beachfront by the pole lights. The street had a very low traffic, reinforcing the neighbourhood’s lack of nightlife and making you realise that would really need to bear a whole summer without any kind of escape from Satoru’s annoyance. 

You were craving for an hour or two in a very hot bathtub but, talking about annoyance, someone wouldn’t stop ringing the bell downstairs while you were about to get inside the water. You screamed for your mom to open the door. No answer. Then Gojo, who didn’t answer as well. While the ringbell keeps doing its work. Fine. You put your clothes back on, giving up on your very deserved bath and heading downstairs with such frustration that you could swear you’d break the floor below at each step if you could.  You look inside the kitchen before attending the door and find a fucking Satoru making dinner with headphones, dancing like he had no shame —and he probably didn’t. 

“Satoru!” you try to scream to him. Of course, he doesn’t hear you and keeps on babbling a song while mixing something in the pan. You walk into him and take one of his headphones off. “Turn that heck down!” you scream at him again, and now he definitely listens. “What is that?”, he asks so calmly you forget why you’re mad at him for a moment. But a very brief moment. 

“There’s someone knocking on the door for ten minutes now! Are you deaf? Where’s mom?” you could notice he stops for a second to think. “Uhm, probably sleeping. She said she was tired”

You became even more dumbfounded. “How could someone sleep with this hellacious noise?” 

Satoru shrugs. “Don’t know. Answer it for me, please” And unhappily you go. 

You open the door, pulling it with more force than you’d do normally, giving the person behind it a definitely not happy face, and it becomes strongly unhappier as you realize who you were facing. The black haired man looks as surprised as you, with his phone in hands, showing that he was trying to call Satoru at least ten times. He had a suitcase and three more people behind his silhouette. 

“What are you doing here?” you and Suguru say in unison, arching one eyebrow each. You got a bit offended for him to have the courage to ask you this, actually. 

“Well, this is my family’s house?” you say, almost mocking at him. You unconsciously think he was still good looking, and just after that cringes from this intrusive thought. All his beauty had been fogged instantly by your remorse. 

“Well, me and my family have been invited to stay here, by Satoru and your mom”, now he was the one that seemed offended. When you were about to answer him a really bad thing, Gojo showed behind you, as happy as he could ever be, hugging his friend and apologising for not answering him sooner. You give them enough space to pass through the open door and as Gojo and Getou came in, you could now see Mimiko and Nanako’s bringing their own suitcases up the ladder and their mom, as beautiful as she’s ever been, right behind them. You swallow dry. The whole troop’s present and all your plans are turned upside down, in less than a day on vacancy. 

As you help your friends to get inside with their way-too-heavy-for-a-vacancy suitcases, you see that your mom is now chatting with Suguru and her husband, seeming not to notice you are fighting for your life to move those damn bags. You clean your throat loud enough to get her attention and ask where they would sleep —and, as you guessed, in the three single beds’ room. You just didn’t expect her to say you were going to sleep with the two girls there too. “What? Why?”

“Uhm, because Suguru and his wife are going to stay in the second double bedded room, and you don’t need such a big bed for yourself” your mom says to you almost as it’s obvious, and you don’t know why, but listening to that made your ears and tummy hurt. Suguru’s wife. Of course they are going to sleep together. Of course you are staying in the room with his daughters. Of course. 

So you ask for Mimiko’s help and carry her suitcase upstairs to your now shared room, heading to your ex bedroom once it’s done so you can sadly carry your own bag too. You remained silent while undoing your baggage into the wardrobe. You thought that doing it first, as you didn’t have as many things with you as the other two, would be easier than finding space inside it after they tidy their stuff. Gojo called for dinner and the girls ran downstairs as quickly as he spoke; their trip must’ve been a bit long too. 

Definitely having dinner together with Suguru wasn’t on your plans for today—nor for the whole month, so you choose your almost forgotten bath: with your clothes on hands you head up to the bathroom just across. The door opens to a shirtless Suguru, drying his recently washed hair with a pink towel while had a white one tied to his hips. You look away, ashamed and a bit angry for him to feel comfortable enough to walk through practically naked. The gears on your head start to spin and you realise the pink towel he’s using to dry out his hair was your towel. Your fucking pink towel. He was about to enter his room when you almost ran to him and pulled the towel from his hands. Suguru turns to you with a question mark above his head, which makes you angrier. 

“That’s my towel!” you say absolutely revolted. How could he be so shameless? Getou looks at you indifferently. “Is it, now?” He passes his hands through his long and silky hair semi dried, “Well, you can use it. I’m finished” and closes his door in your face. You blink once or twice with your mouth opened, not wanting to believe he actually did this. Your towel was soaked now and you’d have to use it like this. Fuck! Fuck him!, you thought, turning around to take your not so comfortable bath now. Before entering it, though, you say a “Fuck you!” loud enough for him to hear on the other side of the corridor, through his door. 

You actually did take a one hour bath, more because you spent almost the whole time staring angrily at your towel schematizing your vengeance. He knew that towel wasn’t his, so why the hell didn’t he ask for a new one to dry his hair out? You couldn’t think about anything else. You knew he did it purposely. 

So you got out and dried yourself with your Suguru-stinking towel,  still a bit wet. You put on your clothes and leave the bathroom, taking your pink towel with you. At this time the dinner had ended and you lost your appetite for the angry fogginess. Perhaps, deepdown, you’re not even mad about the towel anymore, just want some good reason to show him you did not forgive what he did to you. You head back to your shared room and the girls are chitchatting about celebrities biffing. You pretend to be interested in the conversation and laid down on your bed with the door open to see when Getou would come out with his pretty and dearing towel back to the bathroom, where you were going to accidentally drop it inside the full bathtub. Poor Suguru. 

Or maybe poor you, as the seek for revenge reveals weaker than your tiredness, and as you waited to succeed your scheme, fell asleep in a few minutes. It’s hard to be bad and sleepy, unfortunately. 

Only when you dreamt about tearing his towel apart with scissor hands, you realised you were sleeping, and woke up in a jump. The girls were sleeping too now, and the house was so dark you could see nothing but the things the yellow pole light outside shined. It was definitely midnight, and you definitely failed your plan. And you failed to fulfill your stomach, that is now hurting and screaming at your foolishness. You walk outside the room seeing barely nothing, trying to get to the kitchen without waking up anyone. The wooden stairs were so noisy that you frowned at every cracking step you made. 

You would‘ve headed straight to the kitchen if only the tube tv wasn’t turned on. It showed an eight's movie with the sound muted, but for the bloody scenes it was probably a horror one. As you were about to turn it off, you heard a loud breath coming from the sofa and almost fainted from the sudden sound. You turned around and found a deeply asleep Suguru, with his hair now completely dry and only a cushion below his head. He looked so defenseless like this you started regretting plotting to ruin his towel. He was probably watching that movie and fell asleep, as tired from his trip as you were. You actually felt a bit of pity for him sleeping on such an uncomfortable couch with not even a blanket. You hated to admit it, but you did grab a blanket that stayed in a little chest beside the fireplace and threw it above him. Of course you did it only because he was your mom’s guest, nothing personal. 

You woke up the next day to the noise of the girls taking clothes out of their suitcases, searching desperately for a pair of bikinis. The sun was shining through the opened window and it took you a while to adjust to the clarity in the room; by the height of the star and the weak warmth coming in, it was early in the morning and they were already this electrical. 

“You guys should take the cue and put your clothes in the wardrobe”, you say, lazily sitting on your bed and scratching your eyes. They both look at you puppy-like. 

“I think we forgot our bikinis at home, we’re screwed!” Mimiko looked like the floor would disappear under her feets at any moment, as if they wouldn’t be capable of going to the beach —which is just across the street, if not wearing a swimsuit. 

“There’s a pair or two of mine inside the second drawer, you can take it if it fits. I’ll take one of my mom’s“, and the two girls go search for it almost immediately. You get up to your mom’s room to see if she actually has a pair of swimsuits leftover. You find a cute black one and head to the bathroom to change yourself and other stuff you usually do in the morning. Besides the girls' drama, the house was silent, you didn’t even hear the tv on, nor Gojo’s loud voice, so you conclude they were probably at the beach already. Soon enough, you hear Mimiko and Nanako talking about being scared of fishes and going down the stairs.  

Having the house all for yourself for once was nice, you really enjoyed having your breakfast without an annoying Satoru complaining about you not eating enough. From inside the kitchen, you could hear the waves crashing; the anxiety to finally feel your toes on the sand coming towards you. So, when you finish eating and see yourself ready to meet the girls on the beach, you see Suguru entering the kitchen through the door that leads to the backyard, with a stupid fishing hat and rod. Why does he pass through every door you’re close to? Well, at least you didn’t need to ask him what he was up to, and with whom he was doing it, as Satoru passed the two of you with his own fishing rod and hat leaning on his shoulders, walking as idiotically as he always does, to the entrance door. 

“We are going fishing”, says Suguru, after a few seconds of awkward silence in the room, as you both follow Gojo and his stupid walk until he passes through the front door. You drink the coffee from your mug, looking at him from head to toe. Then, looked at Suguru and did the same thing: flip flops, camouflage shorts, a button up shirt with Hawaiian flower print —not to mention the hat with two or three visible holes in it. He could say you were judging it. all of it. 

“…Indeed” you said for politeness, as he was still standing there waiting for you to say something. Actually, he was the one who looked like wanted to say something else, gathering courage —or perhaps trying to swallow his pride. Suguru finally clears his throat before speaking:

“Thank you for the blanket yesterday” he says, fast, faster than he’s ever done talking to you. Getou, then, walked away from the kitchen, as if he was too embarrassed to thank you and to stay and listen to your answer, or even scared of your answer. His gratitude surprised you, though, as you thought he was dead asleep. Maybe he was a light sleeper, you wonder. You take the last sip and put your mug inside the sink. 

“Yeah. Whatever” he is about to leave the kitchen and you stay there a minute or two to avoid walking next to him to the beach. Just now you noticed your face getting hot and redder. It was, for sure, the hot coffee you just drank. Of course. 

You, your mom, Getou’s wife and daughters spent the whole day on the beach. Mimiko and Nanako took a bunch of pictures together before heading into the water, while you stayed there watching Gojo’s boat entering the open sea and listened to the moms talking about the good weather. The monotony you expected for a vacation, finally. Later that day everyone had the fishes the fishing duo brought home. Not you, though: you had the misfortune to watch them preparing the poor fishes and lost your appetite. So you had the leftovers from lunch for dinner. You saw Suguru sleeping watching movies that night too. 

“But I don’t want to” you try to say to your mom while she walks you to the garage. 

“Honey, it will be quick. You just need to buy a cute present for the girls” the car was parked on and you could see Suguru in the driver's seat and his wife by his side. Mimiko and Nanako had spent the whole morning on the beach and went napping after lunch, that’s when your mom dragged you to this situation. 

“But why both of them, if it’s only Mimiko’s birthday?” you stopped a few meters away from the car and spoke as low as you could, trying not to be rude with the girls’ parents just there. Your mom looked at you with a funny smile, like you were joking. Until she figures out you were not.

“…They are twins, honey.” What? Since when? 

“What do you mean, mom? The party last year was Mimiko’s only!” you whispering screams to her.  

“No, Nanako threw a surprise party for Mimiko, but it was her birthday too. They are your friends, how did you not know?”

“I don’t know… But they looked pretty alike, indeed.“ your mom rolls her eyes at you, laughing, and pushes you into the car, as Suguru honked lowly. “It’s our secret”, she says, putting the seatbelt on you. 

You could finally see his car closely: the same you saw taking the girls off your house, one year ago. It was huge inside, the seats in white leather and the sunroof above your head cleared the trip. It was a silent route until the nearest city, except for the times Getou’s wife asked something about your life to break the ice, such as ‘how is the college, what about the french boys, what do the girls like to do when you’re together?’ of course you omitted a little information on the last question… 

As expected, Suguru spent the whole time without speaking a single word, but you felt your heart race a bit faster when his wife asked the boys question and he looked straight at you through the rearview mirror, and waited for your answer as much as she did. You just said they did not interest you, looking away from the black haired man. 

The car parked close to a mall and the three of you walked inside to pick a present. You wanted to get a teddy bear or something, but their mom wanted to give them a pair of dresses. Yeah, it was probably better. Suguru went out of sight to look for a present himself. 

“What if it doesn’t fit them?” you ask, showing the two clothes on the hanger, black for Nanako and white for Mimiko. Both same number. Getou’s wife took the black one from your hands and hung it close to your torso, like she was measuring you. 

“You lent them your swimsuit, didn’t you? Then the dress is probably fitting you, too. And if it fits you, it must fit the girls” and pushes you along with the black dress to the fitting room; everything happened so quickly, you were still processing her sentence. You came out once finished to show her, the dress fits almost perfectly on your body, emphasising all your curves and showing off your shoulders. It was not too short, but not too long either: the perfect size to not be either nun nor vulgar.

“You look gorgeous!” you could hear her saying, but the moment you opened the curtain your eyes met immediately with Suguru’s. He had a gift bag in hands and was talking to his wife, something you couldn’t hear. And then he looks at you. And you forget all for a minute. His eyes, such beautiful raven eyes shining to you, completely mesmerised, staring from head to toe. Staring so much, you started getting shy and tried covering your body, insecure; which he noticed and looked away, ashamed as well. Just then you remember his wife was still talking and you smile at her. 

You changed back to your clothes and they bought the two dresses. You ended up buying a pair of teddy bears for the girls too. The way back went silent and, this time, Suguru didn’t look at you through the reflection. Not once. 

He was the first one to get off the car when you arrived, taking his present with him; you could hear the girls screaming from inside in happiness a few moments later.

“I noticed the way he looked at you” Suguru’s wife was looking at the sunsetting on the beach as spoke, and you were about to open the car’s door to leave. ”I’m not stupid.” 

You didn’t know what to say, or if you even should say something. 

“We are not together anymore, but you know that, don’t you?” She takes a moment to speak again, as lightened the single cigarette she kept in her pocket and rolls down the car windows. “Satoru and your mom keep on saying we’re together, since me and Suguru still live in the same house. The truth is: we have been divorced for two years now. You want to know why?” You didn’t need to answer. 

“Because I cheated on him. I cheated on him with a coworker, and then I felt so bad, I told him. And I knew it was over the moment I said to him, but I did. And I can’t go back now.” 

“You wanted to?” you dare to ask after two minutes of complete silence. She smiled and, for the first time in the conversation, looked at you. 

“More than anything. I still love him. He is the best thing that ever happened to me, the love of my life, the father of my children. And what a wonderful father he is.” She smiles alone. “He has lots, lots of problems, but he loves our girls with all his heart.” That confession made your heart tight into your chest and you looked away, not knowing why you felt so hurt hearing such words. Or maybe you knew, and decided to pretend you don’t. 

“You have no idea how it hurts to be looked at with cold, indifferent eyes, everyday. He tries to politely ask me to leave at least once in three months, but I always give him an excuse, hoping that, if I stay there, he will love me again…” you heard her voice cracking and knew she was crying, but couldn’t see her face. “But it’s over now. And it’s been hard for me to accept that, for a long time. I knew he went out to bars, that he met other women, but he never seemed to be affected by them. Of course, he didn’t talk to me about it, but I knew it from looking into his eyes every time he came back home late at night: meaningless, empty, cleaning a lipstick stain off his neck. It happened every weekend, and I never spoke a word, just stayed there, waiting for the time he would arrive, even hurting badly, because I knew it’d hurt more the day he came with sparkles in his eyes, when he truly met someone else." She finishes her cigarette and puts it out the window, then opens the door and gets out of the car, looking at you as asking to do the same. You do, taking the present bag in your hands, not saying a single word. It was already dark outside. 

“And, of course, it happened. Later than I expected, but it did. I noticed the way he started taking care of himself again, his good humor. He was actually talking to me, sometimes. Suguru planned the surprise party with Nanako, since she doesn’t , but Mimiko does. He gave her the pass to invite anyone she wanted to the party and, as I heard, Mimiko loved it. And I heard you were there, too” and looked at you, waiting for your response. It took you by surprise and, on a jump, you answered her a shy ‘yes’. She gives you a weak laugh. 

“He did the party not only for Mimiko, but because he knew you’d go. He knew you were friends with the girls. And it all makes sense now”  Your chest falls to the ground. The emerging anxiety. You felt it coming from the beginning. The moment she would say what you were most afraid of. Your legs started shaking. You can hear her laughing lowly again. “The way you two stared at each other when Satoru introduced you, I could see his heart falling from his chest, and you ran off as soon as yours started escaping through your eyes. Then, he ran too, not a bit worried about disguising. Neither of you.”

“Did you…?” you try to ask, hesitantly. “Hear your discussion? Yes. And I want you to know that he truly felt something for you. After that day, he stopped going out to bars and walked around like a ghost in our house, getting outside his deskroom only to visit Satoru.  I won’t lie, at first I was happy that you two didn’t work, but later I saw that it wouldn’t make him want me again…”  

You didn’t know what to feel. All this time feeding your hatred, all this time thinking he used you. His wife —or better, ex wife, stopped in front of you now, holding your hands. You could now see the smudged mascara on her face and the red eyes from the tears. It almost made you cry too. “You shouldn’t suffer anymore, neither of you. I  don’t know if you feel something for him yet, but talk to him, speak your truth. At least try. He deserves to be happy again.” 

And as she says it, looking deep into your eyes, Suguru shows up to turn off the car. You can hear him asking ‘why are you taking so long?’ from afar. The woman swipes the tears off her eyes and gives you a small smile before leaving. 

You see Getou getting closer and seeing his ex wife walking away, clearly not understanding what happened, and too hesitant to ask. You walk inside too, silent, still processing everything that she told you. 

A week and a half later passed and you didn’t talk to him. Nor to anyone, practically. You now knew he wasn’t sleeping in the living room unintentionally, and you observed that he would only enter their room to change after a bath when she was downstairs. It all made sense now.

You actually avoided staying much time in the same room as him after that conversation. You felt so confused with everything and everytime you tried to formulate a coherent discussion in your head, ended up mad alone. Even after all she said, you were still angry and remorseful. 

To try and quieten your mind, you started to walk alone to the beach at night with only a towel to sit on, as watched the waves crashing into the sand for a moment; the cold night wind kissed your skin painfully as you always forgot a coat. Sometimes, like this one, you brought an old book from your grandma’s shelf, just to pass the time without thinking much. 

“May I sit?” you hear a very known low voice from behind you ask. Fuck. For that sentence alone made you shiver more than the sea’s cold breeze. You ran from him the whole time and when you finally found a place to escape his appellant presence, Suguru shows up like it’s nothing. 

“No” you answer, turning the books page —not reading at all. He sits anyway, making the beach towel sink deeper into the sand. You do not even try to disguise your discontent with his presence, “Why are you so inconvenient?” 

“You forgot your coat on the couch” you look at him, searching for it in his hands, then look up, waiting for him to give it to you. He smiles at your confused face and you know he will laugh any moment. “What? I didn’t bring it with me” It made you remember why he and Satoru were best friends.

“Then why the fuck did you say it?” you get up, close your book and move away from Suguru, heading back home. That was the final drop. Everything he did made you angry and other many feelings you hate having. You can hear him screaming ‘wait’s from behind but didn’t mind looking back. 

You felt his hand reaching yours as you stepped on the entrance balcony; you looked down, Suguru was recovering his breath. His ebony hair messed by the wind covered his already low lighted face. You pull your hand back, huffling. “What is it that you want, Getou?” 

“Mai said you had something to say to me” he says, thinking you knew what he was talking about. “She told me you would be in the beach” 

“Who is Mai?” you ask him, as it was obvious you don’t know. 

“…My ex wife?” oh. Of course it was her. Of course she would say something if you didn’t for long. And how did she know you were going to the beach at night? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! You take a deep breath and try to look calm to him:

“I’m sorry, but I ain’t got nothing to talk about with you. She must have been mistaken” and you walk away. Again, he stops you from reaching the door. “Fuck! What!”

“You’re lying.” Suguru looked like a mountain blocking your way, his perfume inebriating your thoughts, giving you an almost headache. You try to say that you’re not, but he doesn’t let you finish: “I know you are. You’ve been all quiet since the girls birthday” 

“And what does it have to do with you?” you rasply stay on the defensive, not letting Suguru get a thing from you — 

“It has. I know. Don’t act foolish.” you say a hard ‘i’m not’ and he starts getting actually bothered at your brattiness. You only noticed he was blocking your way out by literally putting you against the wall. “Let me go, Suguru.”

“What happened to ‘Getou’, huh? I thought we weren’t acquaintances.“ you can see him arching his eyebrow within the yellow street light. He was turning the game against you. You looked away and gulped. “Why do you always have to be such a fucking brat? Can’t you act like a grown adult for a second?” Suguru had his hand beside your head and looked straight into your eyes, deeply. “Answer me. Answer or I won’t let you go.” 

You knew, deep down, that he would let you go even if you didn’t say anything, but his gloomy stare made you feel otherwise. “It’s you. You are my problem, Suguru. Are you happy now?” his gaze softened a bit on surprise, as he wasn’t expecting for you to really speak. “I’m fucking tired. I ain’t got a day of peace in my life since I met you. I asked my mom to come to this fucking house because I wanted to avoid you and, as a result, I’m stuck here with you and your family for three weeks. It’s like the most I run from you, the more I come closer. I can’t take this anymore” you were almost crying as finally overflowed your feelings. “And you think it’s been easy for me, now? Do you think it’s easy when all you do is treat me like shit?” Getou spoke so loud that he had to lower himself mid sentence to not wake everyone sleeping inside. “You deserve it all.” you two shared a stare as sharp as a sword, as deadly as a poison. 

“For what, you spoiled little brat? Huh? Tell me.” his face was as close to yours as it could be. His angry face made you swallow dry and feel your cheeks warm; his arms on each side of your head kept on preventing you from leaving. It wasn’t going as planned. 

“For wanting your bestfriend’s stepdaughter, who is your daughters friend as well, and playing with her feelings.” you raised your head, proudly.

“I never played with your feelings, darling.” the black haired man said it so softly you almost felt for it all again just by being called a pet name. 

“And what about you knowing I was your bestfriend’s stepdaughter, huh?” He gulped.

“...Is that a crime?”  You sarcastically laughed, not believing he actually answered you this. 

“Fuck off, Getou. I’m tired of this shit.” and you move his blocking elbow, heading to the entrance door. Fuck it, fuck him. It will never change, he just wants to fucking use you.

“Wait, it was a joke.” he says your name a couple times but you enter the house anyway, leaving the door open, as you knew he’d come after. “Wait, I didn’t know it was you when we first met!” Suguru tries an ultimatum to get your attention, which he succeeds. You turn around and stop to listen to him finally speak his truth, after a year: “Satoru showed us a picture of his wedding where you appeared. I asked him who you were, as I didn’t attend it. He said your name, and that you were his new stepdaughter. Then, I forgot about it.” you kept on quiet, not knowing if you should believe him or not.

“I didn’t approach you that night at the bar knowing who you were. I was actually observing you for a while before, I’m not the kind of guy to do that. I don’t usually approach women, just stay there waiting for some to come to me, but that night, I felt that I had to try it on you. I don’t know why. I did think your face looked familiar, but it had been such a long time, I didn’t remember the picture anymore. Just when you said your name it came to my mind: it was the same name Satoru told me. And, then, it was too late already. I tried to keep my distance after that, but it was so hard. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I told Nanako to throw a party knowing that she would meet you days after and invite you; I stayed home hoping to find you there, even knowing how risky it was for the girls to find out. I don’t know what you did to me or why I felt that way.” Suguru looked so nervous while speaking, like he had never shared his feelings like this ever in his life; his guard was so down, he seemed so vulnerable, as you’d never think would see him. You didn’t know what to say nor feel anymore. “Please, believe me. I can’t keep on with you hating me anymore.” 

“So you confess you knew I’d be your daughters friend and threw a party just to get me? So you were, indeed, using me?” you spoke after a moment of pure silence in between. Suguru couldn’t believe his ears. 

“Fuck! I just confessed to you, girl! You only listen to what you want, don’t you?” He seemed desperate now; you laughed at him, having fun on his frustration. You were actually happy to finally hear him confessing, but wanted to throw a tantrum anyway. Just because.

“Stop screaming. I don’t feel like forgiving you yet. You still used me, Suguru. Goodnight.” and you turn your back to him, heading to your room, laughing lowly by yourself. You hear him saying a ‘come back here’ and his steps coming after you. You try to run from him but the next thing you see is his back upside down, as he puts you up his shoulders. You wanted to scream but knew it’d wake the house, so you stap his back as hard as you could —not making a single scratch, though. Getou throws you on the couch he’s been sleeping for the last few weeks, and it smelled exactly like him. 

When you open your eyes, Suguru is on top of you, his long silky hair strands falling into your face, giving you tickles. You only noticed he was holding your wrists once you tried getting up. His face slightly changes and gets closer until you feel his lips on your neck. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” He repeats your question. “I want you to forgive me, then do it” his voice was lower than usual. All Getou did was smell your beachy skin and only that shivers you from head to toe.

“You think I’m going to forgive you like this?” you try to look indifferent but are actually shaking inside. And you hate that you’re feeling it. You hate how easy he can get you again. 

“Yes. Is it working?” Suguru looks up at your face and you look away fastly. He smiles against your skin. He knows it is. 

“N-no” Fuck. Your voice betrays you once again. You gulp n shame and clear your throat before speaking: “It is not. Let go of me, please.”

“Do you truly want me to get off? Then say it.” You don’t answer and turn your head, trying to avoid his stare. He laughs at your face. “You can’t, right?”

“Fuck you.” Now you do answer and look back at him, who, as you knew, was already looking at you with a mother-fucking-son-of-a-bitch-he-is-an-asshole smile on his face. “Fuck me, love? That’s what you want?” your face turns hot. erupting hot. 

“I hate you.” you firmly say, but the heat on your face starts running down your body. He comes closer to your face, so close you felt his breath, his ebony gaze not blurring once. He lets go of your wrists and holds his weight on one arm supported beside your head. “Say it again”

“I hate you, Suguru. I fucking hate you for everything you’ve done.” 

He touches his lips on yours, not moving a single bit. Your whole body shivers feeling his free hand opening your thighs for him to fit in between. Your breath fails for every move of his and you stay there, static. He retreats his face a bit and stops for a moment, just staring at you. Then he clicks his tongue and starts getting up “Well, that’s it, then. If you don’t want me anymore, there’s nothing I can do about it.” you have a small panic, your body responds before you could even think and pull him over you again, desperately smashing your lips straight to his mouth. You could feel him smile, as if his plan had succeeded. 

You hated to admit, but it felt just like the first time. You felt your heart exploding, your whole body tingling, you didn’t want to let him go ever again. You unconsciously moan on his lips and he moves away to mock you. “Fuck you” you say, as he responds “I’m going to”. 

His left hand squeezed your ass the same time he started putting your shorts down, in pure desire. If you asked Suguru what day was, he wouldn’t know what to respond, the only thing passing through his head was you. you. you all along. “I missed you, love” he whispers in your mouth like a secret you’d swallow. “I missed you so much. I’m so sorry”, he kept on confessing between kisses, not giving you any opening to answer back. But, of course, you missed him too. Missed passing your fingers through his silky raven hair, smelling his delicious cologne, kissing his pretty lips. And, the most, missed his rough touch on your body. He made you feel like no other boy your age could ever do. 

“I wan’ you so much, Sugu, please.” you were practically begging him to do something more than kissing your lips feverishly, and you knew he was doing it purposely. He wanted to provoke you for being a brat. “But I thought you hated me, baby, what ur’ so eager for?” you whine loudly and he rubs his hard bulge on his sweatpants in your covered pussy just to stir you up.

When you were about to kiss him again, the two of you hear the creaking stairs and froze, looking at each other widened eyes. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! 

“Dad?” you could hear Mimiko's voice as she looked for the light switch at the end of the ladder. Suguru fastly gets up and you look for your shorts to put on. He throws his blanket over his pants and you get up from the couch, pretending to be speaking something with him. All of this happened so fast but you felt like minutes had passed when the girl finally turned the light on. You squeezed your eyes to the sudden change. “Oh, you’re here. I was going to ask dad to get you on the beach. You forgot the movie night? Gosh, it’s freezing here.” she says while hugging her arms. Movie night. Of course. 

“N-no, I was just heading up. Getou and I were talking about, huh…” 

“—She was telling me the time to feed Princess, that’s it.” Thank god Suguru took the hint. You nodded and smiled at her, who didn’t really care.

“Uh, are you guys finished, then? Let’s get going, Nanako was almost asleep when I came down” Mimiko turns around and goes upstairs again.  You look at Suguru and he smiles at you, as giving you the permission to go without feeling bad about it. 

“Sorry…” you say and walk to where he is sitting to give him a kiss goodnight before heading to your room. 

Fuck. 

[aikuse]

hey uh just as a reminder if you’re polyamorous/non-monogamous and you don’t allow your very monogamous partner the chance to leave the relationship if they find it doesn’t work for them and they’re not okay with the relationship dynamic then you’re a shit human being

[bondagebimbo]

LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.

and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠

I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.

I’m just. I give up.

this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭

[toasted-valentine]

@pyrotechnicarus was right, that tv can fucking glow.

[starlooove]

What I really like about Damian is that instead of one big interconnected friend group he has many separate friends idk it’s cute it’s different

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[lilgynt]

i’m limping bc i kicked my moms door yesterday which yippie yappo gonna pretend im spider man and got injured on idk patrol or some shit not that kicked my moms door bc i was angry that she got legitimately upset wit me for needing to use the restroom and couldn’t wait till i was done to do her hair dye stuff but my coworker noticed and now i gotta kill myself