#i also get so stinking fucking tired that one time I got something from the bakery and fell asleep at my bus stop

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

fucking grieving because i’m on my late lunch break and there’s a food festival in town and the first shift was super stressful so i was like ‘okay i’m gonna get something special as a treat’ so i chose churros because i’m allergic to dairy and the sign said that there was no dairy in the churros. Well guess what gang

[bumblesimagines]

Ride or Die, Remember?

Part 2

Request: Yes or No

Summary: Despite what happened between Karen and Frank, Lip can't let her go and (Y/N) begins growing tired of it. Another Gallagher sees an opportunity.

Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader

TW/CW: Mentions of teen-adult relationships (Kash-Ian, Karen-Jody), typical Shameless warnings, brothers best friend trope, some sexual content dontlookatme, minor violence at the end

Plot was too juicy to abandon

~~~

What was it about Karen fucking Jackson that had every guy losing their mind over her?

(Y/N) hardly understood why Lip tripped over himself chasing after a girl who looked like half the rest of the city's population. There were petite, skinny, blonde girls with raging daddy issues everywhere, and yet all he ever spoke about was her. Karen this, Karen that, Karen, Karen, Karen. He missed the old days before she sprung up in their lives, the days when they'd make a quick buck off struggling students and hang out with people apart from the whiny blonde.

Exhaling smoke from his lungs, he pressed the cigarette into the wooden railing of the porch and flicked it in a random direction, the distant sound of honking mixed with the muffled sound of children inside the house filling the air. He checked his phone for the sixth time and still found no new message from Lip. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and pushed himself off the railing, considering finding something better to do than standing around like a fool waiting for him. 

"Hey, (Y/N)," Ian's voice greeted him, sweat dripping off his pale face from the sweltering heat of summer. Parts of his shirt had darkened in color from the sweat accumulated across his body, and (Y/N) had long discarded his own in favor of not walking around stinking like shit. Ian's eyes jumped down from (Y/N)'s face to not-so-subtly eye him before he mustered a polite smile. "Waiting for Lip?"

"Apparently." (Y/N) huffed. "He called and when I got here all I found was Debs with like forty kids and Fiona sleeping upstairs."

"You, uh... wanna wait in the pool? It's better than waiting inside with the kids or out here in the heat." Ian offered with a tilt of his head, his smile widening when (Y/N) nodded. Lounging around in water certainly sounded more appealing than melting on a porch waiting for Lip to show up. 

Ian opened the front door and they stepped inside, maneuvering around the playing children while Debbie and Ethel tried keeping everyone in check. Ian shed his soaked shirt and tossed it aside into the laundry basket by the washing machine, briefly poking his head into the bathroom by the second staircase to grab two towels before he led (Y/N) outside into the backyard. (Y/N) slipped his shorts off, kicking off his shoes and socks as Ian did similarly. 

The water had long been warmed by the sun but it still felt heavenly against his heated skin. Ian laughed at the sigh of relief that left him and hopped into the pool, the splash from his body colliding with the surface spraying over (Y/N). Ian resurfaced and grinned at him mischievously, wiggling his brows in a silent challenge. Arching one of his own, (Y/N) snatched one of the pool noodles floating about and snickered when Ian hurriedly paddled away to get the other one. 

It felt nice being able to act like a child instead of having to scramble around pickpocketing or fighting to stay alive. It also felt nice to have someone to be a kid with instead of being dragged around by a pussy-whipped genius who only ever spoke or cared about one single topic. Splashing around and beating each other up with foam toys made (Y/N) reconsider if perhaps he'd chosen the wrong Gallagher to befriend. 

Dipping one end of his pool noodle into the water, Ian waited a moment before he lifted it and pointed the end at (Y/N), pressing his lips to the other end and blowing into it to spurt water at him. (Y/N) turned away with a laugh and felt the water land along his back, his arm making a sweeping motion along the surface of the rocking water to return the gesture.

Immediately, another water fight began but it ended just as quickly when Ian grabbed his wrist and held them, a wide grin toying at his lips. 

"Looks like all that wannabe soldier shit paid off." (Y/N) said as he wiggled his hands free from Ian's hold. West Point, or so he'd heard, was Ian's goal for the summer. Lip whined about it whenever Karen miraculously wasn't on his mind. 

Ian's eyes lit up and he raised his arm out of the water to flex his developing bicep, droplets of water dripping off the muscle. "You think so?" He asked, teeth digging into his bottom lip.

"Yeah," (Y/N) snorted and smacked the back of his hand against Ian's stomach. "You've got abs now, kid. Congrats."

"Can't call me kid if you're only a year older, (Y/N)," Ian told him, dropping his arm back into the water and moving closer to press against the pool's wall. He placed his arms along the top and hooked his chin over one to watch him with those dark green eyes. The sun lightened them enough for (Y/N) to spot the way his pupils dilated the longer he stared at him. 

"Whatever, Carrot Top." (Y/N) tore his gaze away from the ginger and focused on the rippling water. "Are you seriously going to apply? If you do Lip's probably going to end up going with you. He's worried about you. He thinks you're going to get yourself killed and shipped back in a coffin."

"Is that what you think, too?" Ian questioned quietly, a hint of disappointment in his tone. Lip had no doubt made his opinion of West Point and being a soldier loud and clear to his brother, likely numerous times. Lip never gained the ability to take a hint. 

"I don't think about you as much as you think about me." (Y/N) flashed him a grin and chuckled when Ian scoffed at his words, his pale cheeks undeniably burning hot. He looked away from him for a moment and then something sparked in his eyes. 

"I bet after today you'll think about me more often." Ian cooed, slipping one arm back into the water and reaching out to trace his fingertip over the waistband of (Y/N)'s briefs. A chill jolted down (Y/N)'s spine and he pushed Ian's hand away with an eye roll, some heat rushing to his face. "If you've known I liked you, why haven't you ever done anything about it?" Ian asked, shuffling closer.

"Because until a few months ago you had the face of a twelve-year-old. All cheeks and big eyes." (Y/N) grinned and pinched Ian's cheek, chuckling when he swatted at his hand and gave a soft huff. "Besides, you're Lip's brother, and the siblings of friends are always off-limits. Too much drama. It's not worth fighting or arguing over a quick fuck." 

"I could be more than that," Ian argued softly.

(Y/N) hummed forcibly, feeling his body tense and heart squeeze in a less-than-comfortable way. The heat flooding his face and neck felt unbearable and every part of him wanted to snap at Ian to replace the feelings bubbling inside with something familiar. He glanced at the blazing sun over his shoulder, noticing the blue in the sky beginning to turn orange.

"I should get going. I'm not going to sit around waiting for Lip forever." (Y/N) forced out and propelled himself toward the ladder, quickly climbing out and grabbing one of the towels. 

"Hey, wait, you can- you can stay for dinner if you want? You should take a shower, too. Nobody should be using it right now." Lip sputtered out, following him out of the pool and hopping down onto the grass beneath. He took the second towel and wrapped it around his shoulders, his brows slightly knitting. 

"Fine, I'll take a shower but I don't want to hear shit about the water bill." (Y/N) said and retrieved the clothes on the ground, following Ian back inside where Debbie, Ethel, and Fiona were cleaning up the mess left behind by the children they babysat.

Fiona greeted him with a sweet smile and friendly shoulder squeeze before she returned to the living room and continued cleaning. They took the stairs by the kitchen and Ian checked the bathroom, giving a small nod. (Y/N) muttered a small 'thanks' and stepped inside, setting his clothes aside and turning the shower on. Before he could close the door, Ian pressed his hand against it. 

"We, uh... we could save water by showering together, you know. It's a tight squeeze but we could make it work. It'd help with the bill, too." Ian's face reddened, almost matching the shade of his hair. (Y/N) blinked at him, unable to resist the amused smile from appearing on his face. He snorted and brought a hand to his face, rubbing the bridge of his nose and tilting his body so Ian could step inside the bathroom. 

Ian's features comically brightened and he eagerly slipped inside, shutting the door behind him and letting out an airy, almost surprised laugh. (Y/N) rolled his soaked briefs off himself and tossed them aside, one hand reaching into the shower to feel the warmth of the water before he stepped inside, a sprinkle of smugness slipping through his veins when Ian's eyes tracked him. 

The water felt nice against his cool skin and he dipped his head under the running water, feeling the water trickle down his face and chest. He almost flinched when the soap bar was pressed against his back, a gentle hand rubbing the soap against his skin and helping rinse it off with water.

(Y/N) smiled to himself and stepped forward slightly, turning around and tugging Ian under the water. He raised his hands to the short soft hair on his head and trekked his fingers through it, thoroughly washing his hair with a small grin. 

"It's nice, right?" Ian asked, stepping back and wiping water off his face. His soapy hands reached down, rubbing along (Y/N)'s sides before his fingers dug into the muscles of his hips. (Y/N) arched a brow, managing to keep his attention focused on Ian's face despite the temptation to glance downward. 

"What is?"

"Being taken care of," Ian answered, pulling him forward with ease and pressing his lips into the side of (Y/N)'s neck when their chests pressed together. (Y/N)'s fingers curled around whatever hair he could grasp, a soft sigh leaving him followed by a small chuckle. He felt Ian's arms coil around him, pressing him as close as possible and making both their breaths hitch briefly. 

"Ian." (Y/N) murmured warningly, his free hand grabbing the ginger's shoulder and pushing on it weakly. "Lip will be pissed-"

"I don't care." Ian exhaled against his neck, pressing his lips against it again and suckling a light marking on it that made (Y/N) shudder and Ian grin. He trailed quick yet sweet kisses up his neck and jawline until he reached (Y/N)'s lips, lingering over them briefly before kissing him with need. (Y/N) let out a muffled grunt, unused to the feeling of being wanted outside of drunken hookups at parties, but he savored it. Ian knew how to keep a secret, anyway.

There was a mutual giddiness to it; kissing under the shower, touching new uncharted territory, whining and grunting in each other's mouths when one of them grounded their hips together. Ian gave in first, pulling away from (Y/N) with almost swollen lips and a trail of saliva connecting them. (Y/N) gaped at him when Ian lowered himself down onto the floor of the tub, the spray of the water mostly blocked by (Y/N)'s body. A rush of heat shot down to his lower belly and he felt himself flush again, his hand continuing to grip Ian's hair while the other planted itself against the cold tile wall. 

Ian's hands roamed his thighs, the water slipping between his fingers as he squeezed whatever fat and muscle he could. He brushed his lips teasingly over his skin, leaving gentle nips behind that had goosebumps rising along his body.

A sharp curse left (Y/N) when Ian's soft lips wrapped around him, pleasure shooting up his spine and spreading through his veins like a wildfire threatening to consume his mind. Ian's eyes jumped up to his face, big and wide and full of mischief and desire. (Y/N) could hardly look at him, unusual for a guy used to things like hookups, but everything felt different with Ian. Too personal. Too emotional. 

Part of (Y/N) wanted to reel away, to push Ian away despite the fact his hand pushed against the back of Ian's head and drew him closer. Ian's grip on his thighs tightened, his cheeks burning once again with a fiery red and eyes slowly turning glassy with tears. (Y/N) breathlessly chuckled at the sight and Ian's eyes narrowed, his tongue suddenly pressing flat against him and making (Y/N) curse again.

It was odd, (Y/N) had to admit, having Ian before him in such a state when he spent so much of his alone time with Lip lightheartedly poking fun at the boy's crush. 

"How-" (Y/N) swallowed roughly when Ian drew his head back, only to move forward again faster than last time. "How many times have you dreamt about this, huh?" 

Ian dug his fingertips into his skin hard enough to leave indents from his blunt nails in response before his hands continued exploring, squeezing and digging into everything they could find. Soft panting, cursing, and the occasional sound of gagging filled the small bathroom, mixing in with the sound of water; soft enough for the house to remain unaware but loud enough for Fiona to grab the door handle then jerk her hand back as if it'd burned her when the noise reached her ears. 

It didn't take a while for (Y/N) to fall apart, his legs trembling slightly and his hand tearing itself from Ian's head to slam against the wall before he could topple over. Ian took him as well as he could, nose brushing against the fuzzy hairs growing at the base and eyes crinkled with pride and delight.

He remained there until satisfied and drew back fully, grinning widely at the string connecting his lips to (Y/N)'s most intimate body part. His tongue swiped over his lips and he used the edge of the tub to stand back up on wobbly legs, his knees red from his time kneeling. 

"Jesus, Ian," (Y/N) murmured, watching Ian swallow happily before his mouth parted to catch the spraying water, using it to rinse his mouth. He tilted his head away and spat it back out, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and leaning in to kiss him again. (Y/N) weakly returned it, one hand removing itself from the wall to grab Ian's hip. 

His hazy mind slowly cleared, air properly returning to his lungs and allowing him to steady himself. Ian watched his face with a wide smile, one that disappeared when the hand on his hip cupped him. Ian's head dropped onto (Y/N)'s shoulder, his hips stuttering when fingers wrapped around him.

"Asshole," Ian hissed when (Y/N) gave him a teasing, experimental squeeze. 

"Don't bite the hand that feeds." (Y/N) breathed in his ear and felt Ian twitch at his words, his whole body shuddering. 

Ian clamped his teeth lightly on (Y/N)'s shoulder, his hands fumbling around the older teen's body desperate to find something to hold onto when (Y/N)'s hand slowly moved. He hardly had any of Ian's kindness; slowly taking his time and watching Ian easily crumble. Ian was surprisingly well-endowed, though he supposed the whole skinny guy joke held some truth to it. Ian's teeth dug harder into his skin when the pace quickened, his hips bucking along with the movements and a trickle of saliva escaping the corner of his mouth.

"Easy, Ian." (Y/N) cooed as Ian practically humped his hand, slowing down his pace and arching his brows at him.

"God, you're a dick." The ginger whined, finally releasing (Y/N)'s shoulder and instead burying his face into his neck, lips mouthing different curses as more whines and sighs escaped him. Once Ian's desperation subsided, (Y/N) returned to the quick pace abruptly and slung his other arm around Ian's waist to keep him from actually crumbling onto the tub. Whether Ian was sensitive to touch or simply sensitive to his touch, (Y/N) enjoyed watching him turn into a breathy, almost blabbering mess.

Ian pulled away from his neck to slam their lips together, teeth nearly clacking together from the force. He let a low, whiny-ish groan against him, his release coating (Y/N)'s thigh and slowly washing away with the water sliding down his body. (Y/N) laughed breathlessly and kept an arm around Ian until he grew steady again before he properly washed himself off and stepped out of the tub.

Tying the towel around his hips, he grabbed his clothes and stepped out of the bathroom, making brief eye contact with an amused Fiona down the hall before turning and entering the boys' shared bedroom. He rummaged through the underwear drawer until he found one of his old pairs and slipped them on, followed by his shorts and the shirt he'd previously tossed aside when he'd first arrived.

Ian slipped inside a moment later, drying himself off before sorting through his clothes and throwing them on while (Y/N) collapsed on his warm bed. 

"We should hang out more often." Ian said with a grin, plopping down on the mattress beside him and leaning down to kiss him. "Especially without Lip." 

As if on cue, the sound of the front door slamming shut echoed through the house. "(Y/N)? You here? I got caught up with somethin', I swear." Lip called out into the house, his voice also echoing and bouncing off the walls. 

"Speaking of," (Y/N) sighed heavily and peeled himself from the bed, throwing the bedroom door open and making a sharp turn down the staircase into the kitchen.

Ian followed him, taking a sandwich Carl went to bite into and giving his little brother a grin right as he shoved half of it into his mouth and offered it back. (Y/N) snorted at the interaction and shook his head, peering into the living room to find the teen waiting by the first staircase. 

"Yo!" Lip greeted without a speck of guilt on his face. It grinded (Y/N)'s gears. "I was thinkin' we should run a background check on Jody to see if any sketchy shit pops up. You know a guy who can do that, right? Anything we find, we show to Karen. He's got to have a couple arrests, maybe we'll get lucky with a restraining order- why are you looking at me like that?"

"'Cause I'm fucking exhausted of your bullshit, Lip." (Y/N) scoffed, shoving past Lip and slamming their shoulders together hard enough for Lip to stagger backward. Lip shot Ian a bewildered look and the two Gallaghers scrambled outside after him. 

"What- What are you talking about? Listen, I know I'm a little late but I'll make it up to you, I promise, alright? I just need this favor, okay?" Lip's words only made his eyes roll, his jaw ticking and teeth grinding together. Lip grabbed his arm and stepped in front of him before he could fully leave the front yard, holding onto the sleeve of his shirt. He stared at him, his chest slightly heaving before his jaw clenched. Ever the short fuse. They were birds of a feather, the both of 'em. "Why can't you do this one thing for me, (Y/N)? Is it because of Karen? Because I'm in love with her and not you?"

(Y/N) nearly went jaw-slacked at his words, brows raising and eyes slightly widening. He could only stare at him in silence, the sneer he'd said it with feeling like a stab to the gut. It seemed as if all at once, the love, care, and awe he'd once held for the teen since the third day of first grade evaporated, replaced with bitterness and hurt. His brows dropped back into place and his head leaned back, a hum escaping his throat. 

"Is that what it is? You're pissed I'll never like you like that? That- what? I'll never be the Kash to your Ian? I love Karen. It will always be Karen, and the second you get that through your fucking skull, shit will go back to normal." Lip released him roughly, regret seeping into his vibrant eyes already, but pride never allowed him to apologize, not to anyone. 

"You..." (Y/N) laughed, and it felt as if a fog had lifted and the rose-tinted glasses had slipped off. "You are pathetic, Lip. Jesus Christ, you're a fucking loser. How come I never realized that shit? You're just a pussy whipped dickhead who acts like a dog in heat whenever Karen's around. I mean, shit. That's... that's so fucking depressing. You follow her around like a little kicked puppy, lapping up whatever seconds the guys at school and Jody leave for you. You're Karen's little bitch and you don't even realize it." 

Lip's eyes lit ablaze. "And what the fuck does that make you, huh? Everyone already knows you're my bi-"

Before the words could leave his mouth, (Y/N)'s fist connected with his cheekbone, and he fell to the pavement with a groan. (Y/N)'s instincts told him to kick him next, to kick his stomach, his groin, his face. His genes begged for violence, urged him to get the job done by breaking a bone or leaving him bloody; and despite every part of him wanting to do so, he swallowed down the rage as best he could. He took a deep inhale and slammed his foot into Lip's side, the force pushing Lip back onto the grass and out of his way. It'd certainly leave a nasty bruise.

"Go fuck yourself, Phillip. You want to chase after some ran-through bitch for the rest of your life, be my guest. I don't need you fucking up my year and making me look like I give a shit about some pathetic little boy toy." (Y/N) spat down at him and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

"I'll see you around?" He stopped at the sound of Ian's voice, tilting his head over his shoulder to look at him as he crouched down by Lip's withering body. Lip coughed and clutched his side, his brows furrowing and eyes flickering between the two. (Y/N) felt a fluttery feeling develop in his stomach. 

"Yeah," He grinned. "Definitely."

[queerfortress2]

Hello!

May I request any number of mercs you’d like to write for helping a S/O who is getting burnt out from work/school/general busy life stuff?

I’m having the worst burnout right now and it stinks :/

If I had any preference…any of these: Medic, Engie, Scout, Spy

You can write for one, you can write for all of them, whatever you would like to do.

I’m a woman and use she/her but you can make this gender neutral so non-female folks can also enjoy, whichever you’d like!

Hope you’re well, and thank you <3

an engie request finally you don’t understand — mod engie

GN!READER X MEDIC + ENGINEER + SCOUT + SPY (SEPARATE)

MEDIC

my brother in christ he is ALSO working. 2fort’s best paper pusher right there.

if you see work pile up he wouldn’t be opposed to helping you if you ignore is own work piling up. he doesn’t mind it really, as much as he says he doesn’t get burnt out he absolutely does and completely understands.

also taking you out of a work environment !! separate yourself from work for a little while, it’ll make you feel a lot better. he would take you somewhere nice if he wasn’t banned for 99% of public spaces, but does his best with what he has. you can walk around town together or he’ll invite you to his private quarters for you to relax with him and his Unusual Amount of Doves.

he’s also huge he’s practically a living weighted blanket. he isn’t exactly one to lay down and cuddle for hours but he can give you physical comfort before he finds himself distracted by something else in the room. you WILL have to listen to his crazy side rants if you spend time with him.

over all i think he’s more work oriented, so i think he’s more focused on “getting it all done” than “girl fuck your work we’ll go out on the town”

ENGINEER

paper pusher number two

he saw it happening before you did and probably dragged you out of the workshop before it got too serious. in the most non-creepy way possible he finds himself observing you frequently when you work together (or just in the same area) and will run checks on you frequently. need water? don’t worry about it, got a mini fridge right there for you— hey would you be a darling and pass the beer over too? thanks.

hospitality is his deal, even if you’re dating he finds himself treating you like a guest. you get the top priority. ignore his constant working and hypocrisy and he’s like a mini nurse.

also also probably does the work for you while he distracts you with something else. he doesn’t mean to be untruthful but.. while you nap he might’ve finished up a bit of your work and just told you that you did it but you were so tired you didn’t remember. HE JUST WANTS THE BEST FOR YOU

celebration too! he can actually go places, he takes you to a nice little diner and has dinner with you. he’s wearing his stupid little plaid shirt and jeans to dress nice and is TOTALLY playing but off like he’s the prettiest boy at the party. (he is) he even does the slick back hair motion on his hardhat (or very bald head). i want his dead /pos.

SCOUT

brother doesn’t know what he’s doing. he is one of the WORST at trying to help you get work done. he honestly just tells you to forget about it and you both just leave to go run about the base for a bit. a good jog never hurt anyone, i guess. (pauling is drowning in work)

he’s irresponsible so don’t trust him to help you either, he’ll forget about it and get distracted with something else entirely. but it’s the thought that counts! he’s also illiterate so that’s probably a problem with homework or just filing pages…

he also doesn’t take no for an answer, if you shove him off he’s just gonna keep pestering you, or if you’re small enough? just GRAB YOU. you’re leaving that desk whether you like it or NOT. you’re gonna go— as the kids say— “touch grass.” it’s gonna happen.

on the bright side, you’re never bored, he’s extremely entertaining. even if it gives you guys weird looks out in public, at least you aren’t frowning! you’re just having a good time.

if anything you’re going to get a good break, but when you get back that work is still going to be there, that’s a guarantee.

[babybluebex]

bex how do you feel about the jq news

dreaded getting this question but knew it would happen eventually, and this got long so like tl;dr - i think it's fake, and i don't want to talk about it anymore.

i think it's a fake PR stunt, bc joe and that woman are so fundamentally different that i don't know how they could have organically come together and could avoid conversations that revolve around the bad shit she's done (amongst MANY other things, her blatant hatred and mistreatment of her fans like. the man who cried onstage at a convention bc he was so thankful to have fans. verus. a woman who calls her fans weird and tells them to get a job and is such an asshole to them like. how do you find a middle ground/compromise with a partner on smth like that??)

and also how he's been pictured with a woman publicly like twice in two years, but all the sudden there's pictures out the ass of them together, and he's all PDA on her? it's behavior we've never seen from him before, and it's too weird and different from his typical self that it doesn't feel genuine at all to me (and also he's forever beebopping around london because he lives there and NOBODY ever posts pics of him out and about, but suddenly here's three/four pics in one day?? and people being like "oh it looks like fan pics and not paparazzi pics", like paparazzi can take pictures on phones as easily as regular people on the street can. just sayin.)

also also the story breaking on DEUXMOI instead of like leaking to a twitter stan account first?? knowing deuxmoi's reputation, the fact the entire thing originated from them stinks to high heaven to me

but again. this is my interpretation of what's going on. i could be wildly off the mark, but it's my own solace to think it's fake, bc the alternative is that joe is giving attention to a white supremacist neo nazi apologist who makes fun of her fans. and i have put so much of my time/money/attention towards him that it would be so disappointing to find out that he's ok with this sort of behavior, to the point where he'll DATE her.

and in all honesty, i'm just exhausted. this is ab to get trauma dump-ish, but my real life is so stressful rn (for many reasons, but two of the biggest factors being my mother being in and out of the hospital for the past few months, along with being treated like shit at a job that i really enjoy and might have to end up quitting this job bc of said mistreatment), and i come online to escape real life stress, and all of this is making me want to bite people. like online has become miserable for me bc i'm so worried ab opening twitter/tumblr and seeing ANOTHER thing ab someone i like doing things that are icky/distressing. like i hate it here rn, i'm so for real.

i'm grateful that many people seem to be in agreement that this is fake and aren't posting the pics/vids here (or if they are, it just hasn't crossed my dash), but like i'm tired of this. a hiatus might be in order until everyone chooses to calm the fuck down and stop doing things that stress me out 😅 online is supposed to be a fun escape, but lately it's been stressing me out to the point where i won't even OPEN my twitter in fear of seeing something that distresses me even more and makes me spiral.

so tl;dr - i think it's fake, and i also don't want to talk about it anymore. here's my thoughts, take them or leave them, but i won't be talking about it/debating anyone on it.

[octuscle]

I’ve always been a good person or at least I like to think of myself as one. Always worried and being considerate of others. Some times I wonder what life would be like if I wasn’t and didn’t care like some fuck boy. Is there anything the chronivac can do to help me experience this for a day?

Little Italy of all places! Couldn't his secretary have found anything worse? If your name is Gianni Lombardi and you stay in a hotel room in Little Italy, everyone must assume that you are Italian. Gianni's great-great-grandfather was his last ancestor who was born in Italy. His great-great-grandmother came from Germany. There was hardly a drop of Italian blood in his veins. And Gianni had often wondered why his parents, who were called Stephen and Kathrin, had given him an Italian first name.

And now he was standing in the lobby of this shabby hotel, which was called the Bowery Grand Hotel but was nothing like a grand hotel, and the Italian mamma at reception was talking to him in Italian. Fortunately, at some point a somewhat greasy older man arrived, who said something to the lady in Italian and then took Gianni to his room.

It was clean. Pretty clean, at least. But the tube TV was ancient and there was still a clock radio on the bedside table. The carpet didn't look like something you'd want to walk on barefoot. And the bathroom was in the hallway and was an orgy of rust and limescale. One night, Gianni thought to himself… It's only for one night. And he was tired. It had been a long journey.

The brand new radio alarm clock rang at 05:30. Gianni lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. It still smelled of the fresh paint, the room had only been finished last week. He lit a cigarette and was about to go to the bathroom when he heard his mum calling. Could he hurry up a bit, he had to go to the wholesale market. As if he had forgotten. Breakfast was at 06:30 and he had to be back by then. So he quickly washed up, got dressed and got into the van to get everything his guests would need today. He could also meet his fence there, to whom he could sell some of the things he had "found" with guests in the room. It was an advantage to look good. And some guests paid well for the fact that no one found out that the hotel's junior had shagged them.

It was 11:00 a.m. when Gianni was finally able to take a break. He walked two blocks to Sara D. Roosevelt Park and sat down in the sun. He had no more cigs. But in his experience, it wouldn't be long before his boys would hit this place up. And they owed him a lot more than just a cigarette.

Luigi, Luca and Andrea were good buddies. Stinking lazy ones, to be sure. And Gianni envied them for not having a mother with a whip behind them. But the three of them were always good for a laugh. And today there was a cigarette for Gianni, too. In return, however, he had to promise them that they could come to his mum's hotel for lunch. If he was lucky, the three of them would also help in the kitchen afterwards. And Gianni could let the sun shine on his Italian skin for the rest of the day.

[sugar-omi]

Ya know, I love the idea of dilf!Cove being a huge tease during edging, but I gots to know how he’s like when he’s feeling a little more desperate than usual. Like the tables have been turned on ol’ dilf daddi. Any HCs to grace us with 👀

this..i had thoughts abt him i buried n then i rmbred them n they ran w me n now we have this horny mess

tags : NSFW, gn reader, top/service bottom reader, bottom cove, i babygirled him a bit sorry guys 😋, ooc ofc bc DILF COVE., edging/overstim, this is just horny af ok lemme ALONE /lh

no bc I was thinking abt this earlier n this is kinda dilf!cove (not yall breaking up though)

he's desperate. he acts like he NEEDS some or he's gonna parish

if you ask, he'll beg like a dog for some ass, he rlly will

althoughhhh if we wanna talk abt that scenario....

you can expect some drunk/midnight calls from ex-husband/ex-bf dilf!cove... ANYWAY <33

imagine walking around in something sexy, or short or tight

he's in pieces, following you around n touching you, kissing you n telling you you look gorgeous in that outfit...

if you're teasing him, walking around the house or you're out on the town looking fine as fuck, he's either bricked up or he's like that damn meme, telling his dick to stay down 💀😂

but that's just one basic way to make him desperate

the best way to tease him n have him under your finger, is to edge him alllll day

morning? I'm torn between jerking him off while he sleeps, until he's dripping n twitching n his cock is flushed

also i love the idea of stuffing him with a dildo

or riding him, making yourself cum and pulling away just before he can finish

I think he'd fucking love that, his brain would turn to mush n go straight to his dick I know it 🤭🤭

this big, tired, sexy man with his ass up n stretched around a thick plastic dick

he'd look so pretty...

when he was younger, cove was so embarrassed to own or use monster dildos

but now? he has dildos with knots and ridges,tentacles, n tapered tips. even has one shaped like a dragon (yes im projecting, i wanna be him😩)

so imagine stuffing him w his favorite toy, the ridges drugging along his walls, the tip bumping against his prostate perfectly

and he's so blissed out, loving the stretch from the toy getting thicker at the base..

but then you slip a cockring over him n he whips his head around. he's torn between causing a stink n crying

oh god, imagine making him go about his day, unable to cum but the toy hitting all those delicious spots inside him

his legs are shaking the whole day, he'll fall to his knees tryna wash the dishes because you came up behind him,

n smacked his butt or purposefully thrusted your hips against his butt, the toy slamming against his g-spot..

please don't forget to pull him to the side, shove down his pants and jerk his cock until he's sloppy, tears on his lash line bc he can't cum w this damn ring on...

n pull away, wipe your hands on his shirt n tell him to clean up the pre he dropped...

definitely mutters n calls you mean

tries to grind against the seat/couch, palms his bulge through his jeans... but he can't finish

it's like you know when he's thinking abt taking the ring off n cumming bc then you're there, kissing him n asking him his color/safe word and telling him he's so good, n just a little more...

it makes him dizzy how much you're controlling his pleasure n he loves it

by the time you're ready to let him cum n stop teasing him, he's so easy to pull apart

he'll beg, claw at your clothes, n his legs are shaking n his pants are stained w pre..

when you finally pull the cockring off to let him cum,

doesn't matter if you jerk or suck him off or fuck him, he's so whiny n flushed n teary eyed n babbling

babbling abt how he wants to cum, begs you to fuck him n abt how good your feel n abt how deep you're hitting, or how warm your throat/hole is. you've broken him🤭

even after all that... he begs for more, he loves when you edge n use him like this<333

someone pls come talk to me abt ex-husband dilf!cove i....i have thoughts n im open to maybe a lil toxic, definitely a lot horny ex-husband dilf!cove situationship ykw im sayin

[short-black-diamond]

The other woman.

Warnings: Angst, cheating, pregnancy, smut-briefly, reader is sad and depressed, Izuku is a cheater, but doesn’t want to be, long fic!

I also didn’t proofread it. so. uh, sorry if I made some mistakes that pissed you off...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwbHIZ4pbOA

-> listen to this while you read!

WHAT IF...What if you and Izuku were barely communicating with each other and he ended up cheating on you?

Another restless night with you trying to stay up for your husband, the number one pro hero. You know that he is saving the world, but you can’t help that nagging feeling of him staying away from you for...other reasons. 

But, you don’t say anything. Instead, you go to bed-if something would’ve happedened to him, you’d get contacted first by Bakugo, or some other friend or pro hero, or the hospital.

Right after you’ve lay down, you heard the door open. “Honey, I’m home!”, he called in his tired voice, fatigue covering his mind and body. But, instead of standing up right away to greet Izuku, you stayed were you were. You didn’t want to see him at the moment. 

Meanwhile, Izuku was confused. Weren’t you always waiting for him, napping on the couch? Did he do something? “Sweetie?”

No answer.

That gave him panic. Frantically, he stepped out of his boots and into each room to find you. He found you in your guys’ shared bedroom. “Hey...you awake?”, he whispered, softly shaking you. He knew that he came late, and that you’d wait for him, but you’d at least try to stay up for him. What he was met was barely a grunt and a soft “you stink”. He chuckled quietly and went to the bathroom. 

Still, he felt like something was wrong. 

Now, fresh out of the shower and into a new set of clothes, he went under the blankets and pulled you towards him. This time, you were sound asleep. He sighed, embracing you with his arms. 

...

“I-I’m getting a promotion!“, you cheered, alone in your shared apartment. As always, you were not talking to Izuku, but one of your bunnies. Mika, a hazelnut coloured one, gave you his attention and sniffed curiously on the paper you’ve read the news from.

You clapped your hands a few times-a habit of yours when you were too happy and didn’t want to be loud. You sighed dreamily and looked at the paper again, holding it higher up so Mika couldn’t get a bite. 

Dear Mrs. Midoriya, 

We are happy to announce that you will get a higher position as a detective and you will be able to lead your own cases. Your paycheck will raise too. ;)

best wishes, 

Headquarters, Japan

you squealed with joy and made Izuku’s favourite dish. Also, you didn’t sleep at all that night, your adrenaline being on 24/7, which meant you could work on your first own case. You were thrilled, to say the least. That also meant that you and Izuku could be working together. 

You quickly got to work and found out about your new case. While you were hot on the trail of a cheeky and mysterious burglar, you received a notification from one of your female friends. A photo with her and her wide stomach. You were happy for her. “AWWWW, so cute! Congratulations! I hope that your child will be healthy!”, end of your voicemail. 

Then, you closed your laptop, put the papers involving your case into a folder-organised, of course-and stared at your phone. then, you looked at the other female friends who sent you similar photos, even videos. A child, twins, pregnant, shortly before childbirth, after childbirth. 

You were...jealous. You also wanted to have a child. I’m going to ask him tonight. But, right after you’ve finished your thought, another notification popped up on your mobile. This time, it was from another, an unknown number. 

Somebody sent you a video. What could it be? A friend of yours who got a new phone? a villain holding somebody hostage? You were anxious with anticipation. Nonetheless, you started the record. 

You weren’t prepared to see your husband fuck another woman though. He was drilling into that bitch with a vigor you wish he’d use on you. he was always gentle with you. but right now, you were just...angry. 

and sad...and frustrated...

what did that woman have that you didn’t? what did you do to deserve to make Izuku cheat on you? Especially after he’d promised you thousands of times that he wouldn’t cheat on you? In the end of the recording, you noticed the woman having short brown hair, a deep blush, a high pitched voice, and she was chubby. 

Right before you pressed the call button with the speaking partner being your cheating husband, you stopped before your finger touched the green button. 

You had a much better idea. 

...

“Hey sweetie!“, your husband called, taking off his boots. he halted on his way to you, smelling Katsudon. He smiled to himself. “Hey.“, you heard behind you. 

you were just washing up the last dishes, when you felt his hot breath on your neck. Sending nice shivers down your neck. 

I bet you did the same to her. 

“Hey, back. You know...I...got promoted...!“, you whispered, smirking at him lighting up. “Really?! I’m so happy! You deserved this!“

How good he acted like he didn’t just cheat on you a few hours ago. and apropos ‘you deserved this!’, you don’t deserve me, slut.

“I’m glad myself! I hope that I’ll be able to save future victims, protect the civilians and make much more money with that!“ 

“I’m sure you will.“, he exclaimed softly, pulling you closer to him. he nuzzled into your neck, with you caressing his hair. “Take a shower, Izuku. Okay?“, you asked, fighting your tears. How could he act to...intimate with you? after he cheated on you?!

“I’ll be right back...“, he murmured, reluctangly letting go of you and stepping into the shower. I shouldn’t have done that with Uraraka...I cheated! I will tell her, first thing when I see her!

Ten minutes, Midoriya stepped out of the shower, not finding you in the kitchen. Now, he smelled roses-he saw them- growing along the walls and ceiling. 

A doing of your quirk, you were able to make flowers and plants, roots, even trees!-emmit from any ground.  and you were able to save many people with your flowers, you were even able to create new plants! You actually met like that-you savinf people by making big roots and them sliding to the ground like riding down the slide. He was too late to save anybody, but luckily, you were there. after a shy interaction he asked for your number and you set the first date.

your flowers all had meaning, and roses meant romance...or erotic.

He opened the bedroom door and found you, only covered in your lingerie, with nice heels, handcuffs and a choker, on the bed. He grew hard instantly. 

“Some here, baby.“, you said, curling your right pointy finger and giving him your seductive gaze. In a matter of seconds, you had Izuku pounce on you, but before he could lather your face and body in bruises and hickeys, you held a hand up. “I’ll let you fuck me. But under one condition. You have to make me...

a mother.“

It took him a few moments to register your words, with your glorious body underneath him and your and the flowers’ scent filling his senses, and when he understood, his dick grew painfully hard. “Y-you want me to make you pregnant? B-but what about-” “My career can wait. don’t...don’t you want me to give you a son or daughter? Twins? Triplets? Quad-”

“GOD YES, I’ve been waiting for you give me the OK since forever!”, he cried, tears streaming down his face. All of his plans of telling you that he cheated flew out of the window when you kissed his neck and he went fucking you like rabbits.

In the next morning, you woke up with no Izuku. Still, you got up and went to the bathroom. You went back to last night’s event in your head: Izuku made you cum many times, so did he-no, he came more. He fucked you orgasm after orgasm and you were sure to get pregnant. 

Step one, finished. Now on to step two. 

Right after the day after intercourse ended, you got another notif. From the same number. It was a photo this time, of him kissing the same person. He smiled into the kiss. 

You felt like bawling your eyes out, or kill him. But, since your plan was a long and big one, you didn’t act up on it. No, right now, you focused on doing your job. But, you contacted a model firm and a music company, for future purposes.

...

This time, you went home later than him because he could finish earlier and you were all ready for step two. 

You let one of your friends to a test and the test was negative, which you then took home with you.

“Heyyy, how is my beautiful wife doing?”, Izuku asked, embracing you in a comforting hug. Time to start the act. 

“Oh,...well..“, you trailed off, putting on fake sadness. Of course, the pro hero noticed your concern and pulled you closer. “What is it?“, he whispered. 

“You remember our night together?” “How could I forget?” You forgot to be true to your words, you stupid bitch- “Well...it...didn’t work...“, you mumbled, your voice ‘cracking‘, as you took out the negative test. 

He stared at it for a long time. “(Y/n) I’m so...so sorry...!”, he whispered, hugging you closer. You could smell his scent, mixed with a different one. That cheating bastard!

You gently pushed him away from you, his heart breaking at you avoiding body contact with him. you looked at him with a sad and dissapointed expression and looked away, going to sleep in the guest room. Now that the young man was alone, he thought about your behavior. 

You and him didn’t really spend time together, the last time being him and you fucking last night. Before that, you were busy looking for evidences of a new case you could work on alone since you got your promotion.

...

Guys sorry for stopping mid story. I don’t really have any motivation right now. I hope you guys are okay. :)

I hope I’ll get to post the second part soon.

[larry-22-blog]

Period Complications 5 x ADHD

Hi guys, thank you for all your feedback regarding the series, I hope you enjoy this one too, as always please add your input in, I love to read your comments and messages.

I try to take all the suggestions and include them in the story.

"I'm just so fucking angry! Why is it not fucking working!" I exclaimed in frustration trying to fix the bugs in my code, but I swear each time I fix one, another one just pops around the corner!

I hate this shit!

Who's idea was it to study Computer Science?!

It's bullshit!

I would be better off studying-- screw that! I would be better off not studying anything at fucking all!

I should have become a stripper or something! Would probably make more money selling feet pics to crazy people online than in this shit hole!

"You've got pretty feet… But they are for my eyes only" Erling chuckled from where he was leaning on the doorway, looking at me with his too-damn pretty face.

He's also not wearing a shirt.

Just some shorts. Some short shorts.

And he's sweaty and ---

Seriously why is he so damn hot all the fucking time?

"Awww thanks, babe!" He cheerfully said fist bumping into the air before moving towards me.

"Nope, out! Erling Braut Haland!" I said, trying to make him leave.

He shouldn't see me like this.

I don't want him to see what a mess I am.

Especially under stress.

"You're such a beautiful mess though, baby!" He exclaimed slowly coming closer to my desk, well, his desk. Since it's his house.

I just tried to kick the guy out of his own house.

"What's mine is yours, love, you know it!" He leaned forward from the other side of the desk, head resting on his arm as he watched me with a big smile on his face.

"Seriously what are you? Can you read minds?!" I asked frowning.

"Nah, you just tend to speak out loud when stressed or under pressure. It's cute. I find it quite endearing." He leaned and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Oh, oops!" I felt myself blushing.

"It's super entertaining too! Your mind is very funny, you go from one thing to another then back to the other thing and so on!" He chuckled, taking one of my trembling hands in his much bigger one and kissing the back of it.

"I can't help it… It's my ADHD brain going at 500km/h on a countryside road…" I sighed.

I hate the way my brain works sometimes.

Some other times I like it, makes me feel different but most of the time it's just frustrating and hard.

I feel so stupid most of the time, always thinking differently, always taking the long way around.

I just want a break from all the stress and pressure sometimes.

"Baby how can you say that, you're so smart, the smartest person I know, the most hard-working and selfless" he moved from where he was leaning over and came around the desk to where I was.

"I just feel like I have to work so much to make up for all these bullshit issues…" I feel tears filling my eyes.

"Baby…" he pulled me to his chest, hugging me tight as he leaned down so I could put my arms around his neck.

"Sorry, I'm all sweaty… I probably stink too" he said in my hair, kissing the top of my head.

"I love your scent," I said against his neck, on my tippy toes, hugging him tighter.

"You're something else baby" he chuckled.

"What do you say about a shower and then some comfy clothes, sneaks and Netflix and chill in our bed?" He proposed his accent peaking through quite a bit.

It's something that happens when he's tired or misses home or his family.

"Sounds like a plan, add some tea to the list and we are good to go," I said, kissing the top of his left pec as I moved away.

I let out an embarrassing loud squeal when he lifted me up and began carrying me upstairs.

"ERLING!! You have to stop carrying me around all the time!" I blushed into his neck.

This man is something else.

"Why? I quite enjoy it, no shush, go get the shower ready, I'll be back in a min with some clothes for us" he put me down in front of the shower and left running back to our room. I could hear him going through the drawers in the walk-in closet of the ensuite, smiling to myself as I started the water, making sure it was the perfect temperature as I undressed and stepped in.

I washed my body and was in the middle of washing my hair when I feel arms around my middle, pulling me back so our bodies are touching.

"I wanted to wash you!" He pouted, looking too cute for his own good.

"You can still wash me, come on, I'll wash you" I proposed, getting the soapy bath fluff nice and bubbly as I proceeded to press it on Erling's chest, washing his toned body. His chest, his arms, his back…

"You've got such an amazing butt… It's unfair!" I could not help myself so I squeezed it, loving how muscular and nice it feels. It looked so good all soapy.

"Hey! Hands of the merchandise!" He joked and I have him a playful slap on the right cheek as I moved back up, trying to get him to lean down to get a kiss.

"No kisses for you, you've been too naughty," he said, straightening his back so he put even more distance between us, smirking down at me.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to continue to wash myself then… Alone" I purposely turned my back to him, bending down to get my favourite shower gel and then proceed to wash my body, soaping up my chest and then looking up to see his reaction.

Well, I could have looked down also, there was definitely a reaction there too.

"Baby!! Those are mine too!" He exclaimed, moving his big hands on my chest, squeezing both my boobs, making me moan as he touched my sensitive nipples.

"Fucking hell, Erling!" I moaned as he moved behind me, pressing his front into my back, not letting go of my boobs as he played with my nipples.

"Love how sensitive they are, how sensitive you are…" he kissed my neck, holding me close as he played with my boobs. I could feel him pulsing against my back, he was hard. And so fucking big.

Everything about this guy is huge. Of course, his dick was also fucking huge.

I blushed at the thought.

"Erling please…" I begged.

I don't even know what I was asking. What did I want?

I just wanted him.

"Baby, slow down, we got all day" he chuckled.

"I want you inside me" I turned around pulling him down so we could kiss.

"No way in hell! Not going to happen on my watch!" He broke our kiss, putting some space between us and I looked confused up at him.

I couldn't help but feel insecure and rejected.

"You don't want to? With me?" I asked, looking sadly up at him.

"Of course I fucking want it! I love you, I desire you, can't you see how much you turn me on? I swear I'm always hard around you!" He groaned, using his hand to release some pressure on his very much still rock-hard cock.

I blushed, looking away.

"Then? Why do you keep rejecting me…" I whispered, looking up at him, into his lovely green eyes.

I love his eyes. They are such a complex colour, I swear they constantly change, depending on his mood.

"I'm not rejecting you, baby, I just don't want it to happen like this, it's your first time! It's supposed to be special, perfect! Not a fucking quickie in the shower!" He explained passionately.

I love how passionate this guy is about everything he does, and everything he loves.

I especially love it when I see him so passionate about me.

My man.

"I love you Erling. Thank you for loving me and taking care of me, always. Thank you for being you." I said hugging him.

"It's going to be perfect and special no matter what because it's you," I admitted, kissing his chest, right where his heart is beating so strongly.

"You're the same to me, we're perfect for each other, soulmate and all." He whispered, tightening his arms around me and kissing my forehead.

"Now, let's finish here," he said, starting the water again.

We quickly washed ourselves this time, to avoid distractions.

Erling finished quicker, he got out first, getting towels for both of us, before starting to dry himself.

He was a sight.

In all his naked glory.

His body was art.

"Take a picture, it lasts longer" he commented, not even turning around from where his muscular back is facing me.

I blush for the tenth time today.

Seriously what is his secret? Does he have superpowers?

How the hell did he see me?

"I have to be very aware of my surroundings baby, I'm a footballer, remember" he joked.

"I don't think I could ever forget you in your Manchester city home equipped even if I try. Wet dream material." I admitted, getting out of the shower and shivering because of the temperature change.

He immediately helped me, putting the big towel around me and a smaller one on my head.

"Awww thanks baby, glad to know you get off on me wearing the blue kit, got to wear it more often," he said, his cheeks a bit pink too.

"Or just don't wear anything, that would work too, for getting me off" I suggested, playfully.

"Oh shush it you, you would constantly blush whenever you see me partially baked! You would not resist me being naked around you!" Erling said while drying my hair carefully.

"No, I don't!" I slap at his arm.

Ok, maybe I'm a bit intimidated by him, especially naked. But like who isn't? Have you seen him?

He's a fucking God. A Nordic God.

"I love it when you do that anyways, don't worry. I find it very cute, the way you react around me" he admitted.

"Shut up" put the other towel on top of his head, pouting.

"Awww my little angry kitty," he said, leaning down to kiss all over my face, as I tried to stop him, giggling.

We ended up using the same drier for drying our hair, I let him have a go first Erling while doing my night routine then took it after he finished while he was doing his own night routine. Much simpler than mine.

"Let's get in bed!!" He suddenly said, lifting me up and walking out of the bathroom, ignoring my protests.

"Erling!!!"

"I prepared you some clothes" he gestured to the pile of clothes on the bed, one of his kit light blue shirts, which was a dress for me and a pair of short white yoga pants, together with some fluffy blue socks and for him just some white boxes.

"You're basically naked" I comment, dressing myself in his shirt, loving how big it feels on me, then going to the closet to get some panties, deciding on some white ones.

"Very nice sight baby" he commented from the bed as he looked at me since I left the door of the closet open. I was bent down to pick the panties and of course, he was watching.

I blushed and immediately pulled the shirt down to cover myself.

"Perv!" I walked back to the room, closed the window shades and joined him on the bed.

"Oh God, this bed is like heaven…" I moaned as my back hit the soft material of the sheets, pulling the covers over me as I moved closer to Erling, searching for his warmth.

I moved my freezing feet under his shins and I put my hands on his abs to warm them "Nooo, you ice cube! How are you so cold?!" He shivered but hugged me closer.

"I don't know… I'm always cold, but you're hot" I whispered, hiding my face in his chest.

"Even your nose is cold" he giggled.

"What should we watch?" He asked, scrolling through the Netflix recommendations.

"Something with Vikings" I joked, almost asleep. He was just so warm and comfy.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me!" He nudged me, kissing my hair.

"But I'm sleepy…" I complained, trying to get even closer to him, pulling my covers over my head to hide.

"It's so early thought, what are you, a chicken?" He giggled pulling the covers down.

"I'm an old lady, let me have some peace. You'll understand when you get to my age" I pouted.

"Your age, baby you're 3 years older than me that's no old" he laughed and started tickling me.

Did I mention I'm very, very ticklish?

I absolutely hate being tickled.

"Erling!!!!!!" I squealed, but he was having none of it.

By the time our tickling fight was done, I was trying to catch my breath, my face was covered in tears from how hard I was laughing, while he was laughing his ass off at me.

"Awww baby I made you cry, come here" before I could react he moved around, hovering over me, not putting all of his weight on me, as he used his arms to support himself but still. He was so fucking heavy!

"Nooo! Get off me you giant! I can't breathe!" I groaned, trying to shove him off, "Aww baby, I made you breathless too, am I this pretty?" He playfully spoke, trying to sound like a girl, flipping his long blonde hair.

"You are actually, the prettiest girl out there" I kissed his nose, moving one of my arms around him while I used my other to run my fingers through his soft hair.

"Hey!!" He playfully protested, but I kissed his pout away, making us both smile dumbly at each other after.

"I love moments as these" I looked into his eyes.

"Me too" he kissed me.

We sat like that for a while, just looking into each other's eyes, smiling and kissing until Erling spoke "Let's go eat something, I'm so hungry"

"You and your appetite, baby, don't know how you can eat so much and be this fit, it shouldn't be possible" I admitted, admiring his body once again as he got up from the bed.

"I'm a Viking baby, we are not normal people" he offered his hand to help me get up but I just rolled over on his side of the bed, pulling the covers over me as I hugged his pillow. I changed the sheets this morning and he barely sat on the bed since then, but I swear it has his scent.

I love his scent with a passion.

"Stop smelling my pillow, I'm getting a bit jealous over here! Plus, you could have the real thing…" he smirked, pulling the covers from around me and pulling me up.

"You can be a brute sometimes, Erling Haland" I sighed, following him out of the room, well not that I had much of a choice since he was holding my hand, basically pulling me.

"Only for you baby" he lifted me up on the island-like counter when we arrived downstairs into the kitchen, kissing my nose and then proceeding to take half of the fridge out to eat.

"You're something else, Erling, I swear…"

Note:

Thank you for reading, if you liked the story/series here is a way to support me:

[solrika]

A snippet of conversation between Cole and Jack, post-recall. Implied r76 and spuriken, but it's not the focus.

~

Jack wakes up with a startle, and Cole barely manages to dodge his flailing arm. Later, Jack will blame the lack of a connecting strike on his headache, the empty bottles rolling under his cot. Now, he just groans, wishing he was still dreaming. 

“Good morning to you, too.” Cole glances at the afternoon sun inching across the floor. “Well. For a given value of morning.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I had some time off from babysitting.” Toeing at an empty bottle, Cole adds, “You look like shit.” 

Jack feels like shit, and the aggressive cheerfulness that Cole is radiating doesn’t help. “Do you do this to Ga–Reyes, too?” 

“Nah, he’s not as dramatic as you are–” a blatant lie, if Jack’s ever heard one, “--not as fun to bother. And besides, he pops in on his own.”

Jack stares. “He pops in?”

Cole shrugs. “At first I was worried–thinking he was gonna play la lechuza to get back at you–but you care more about chasing a ghost than watching over the kids. They’re not interesting to you, so he doesn’t care.” Cole’s lips quirk in a painful mirror of Gabriel’s mocking smile. “Guess your days of helping the new recruits are over, huh, Morrison?”

“They have you, don’t they?” Jack spits, rubbing at his pounding head. Rolling upright, he adds, “Cassidy, what the fuck do you want?”

“Maybe I just want to visit.” Cole makes a show of looking around the dusty room. “Genji was right. Should’ve brought a housewarming gift.” He kicks at the nearest cot leg, and it nearly goes out from under Jack’s ass. “Shit’s downright depressing.” 

Rolling his eyes, Jack heaves himself upright. “So you’re just here to bother me.” His clothes need washing, but he ignores the stink and pulls on his shirt from last night. Gabriel would have a fit, but, well, Gabriel’s not here to object anyway. 

“Eh.” A little hand wiggle. “Someone’s gotta make sure you’re still alive.” 

“I’ve got Ana.”

“She’s going to lose patience with you soon.” The mocking smile turns sharp enough to cut. “Reyes was the only one who could put up with your shit, after all.” 

Jack’s fingers tighten on his pistol hard enough the casing creaks. “If you’re just going to fucking needle me–” 

A derisive snort. Cole rummages in his pockets, and comes up with a datadrive painted a cheery purple. Waggling it like a tempting treat, he says, “If you can pull your head out of your ass long enough to help out Sojourn while I chase my own leads, I got something nice for you.”

Eying the drive like it’ll bite, Jack mutters, “Ask Genji. Or Reinhardt.”

Rolling his eyes, Cole says, “Reinhardt needs the most babysitting out of all of them. And Genji’s coming with me. As if you don’t know.”

The headache is already burning away, but it doesn’t stop the mean curl of Jack’s lips. Now it’s his turn to be cutting, and he replies, “I didn’t, actually. I thought he was with that omnic monk now. Wanted someone more introspective–”

Cole just rolls his eyes, and waggles the drive harder. “Off your game, old man.”  

Jack was tired of this game before it even started. He makes a grab for the drive, but Cole twists out of the way with Gabriel’s prenatural grace. “Ah, ah. It’s a trade, Jackie, not a gift. Gotta think of the kids first.”

The words burn. As they’re meant to–all of Gabe’s old anger steeped in new offense, and filtered through a cowboy-shaped lens. 

“I don’t owe you anything,” Jack scrapes out, watching the drive. They both know he could take it in a true fight, his strength enough to leave Cole with a shattered forearm and fingers. They also both know there’s no way Jack could face crippling Gabriel’s favorite student.  “I don’t owe them anything.” 

Cole blows out an exasperated breath, and at least this time the movement is all his own. “Try again.” 

“Fine.” Jack throws up his arms. “Fine!” 

“Thankya kindly.” Cole bows, does something with his hands that flourish the drive back out of sight. “And you’ll get that once I’m back.” 

This time, Jack considers just taking the damn thing a little more seriously. “That wasn’t the deal.”

Cole’s smile reminds him of a coyote. “I know better than to let you weasel your way back to this hole, Morrison.” Dusting off his hands, he adds, “The kids are waiting for you in Gibraltar. Be seeing you in a couple weeks.” Executing a perfect parade turn, he starts for the door. 

“That’s it?” Jack asks his retreating back, incredulous. “That’s fucking it?”

“Of course not,” Cole throws over his shoulder. “I’m leaving some tea for Ana.”

“I hate you,” Jack snarls, and begins throwing his clothes into his bag with barely-concealed aggression. 

“Right back atcha,” Cole sings, syrupy sweet, and escapes out the door.

[toomuchracket]

i just typed out like 14 ross hcs/requests but i’m gonna take a deep breath and not annoy tf out of u so. here’s one

something a little angsty a little hurt/comfort he’s just having a rough time on tour like maybe he’s tired it’s catching up to him and he strikes me as the type of person who’s guilty that he’s sad (“i’m supposed to be the happy friend” type beat) and when he calls you hes just ugh i’m getting old it’s getting hard i just wanna come home to you point is he’s just so DOWN and you feel so bad you can’t do anything about it and then you and the guys plan a surprise visit for you to wherever in the world they currently are and you just. comfort him. maybe bring some home To him yanno

i answered quite a similar vibe here but i didn't quite go into detail on ross talking to you so i'll do that! so he's got your candle lit and he's waiting for you to finish work to call him - as soon as he picks up and says hi, you know something's up. and you're like "baby what is it?" and ross is like "... i'm just so drained, love. and not just from playing shows with not a lot of time off in between - i miss you so much. have half a mind to just get on a flight and come home tomorrow". and you're so sad for him and shocked - ross would never leave tour like that, he loves his job and he loves the boys, so you know something's definitely up. you're like "have you not told the boys how you're feeling? i'm sure they'd help you feel better" and ross says "nah, i haven't. s'usually me doing that to them, i think they'd probably freak out if i needed reassurance haha" (a mirthless laugh), and you're like "oh baby, i wish i could be there" and ross sighs like "i wish for that too, more than anything. but i'll be ok, my love - anyway, tell me about your day, distract me a bit". so you do, and ross genuinely does cheer up a bit, but after you hang up to go to sleep he just sits on his bed and cries a little when the boys find him. and they know something's up - when matty sends you the cute pic of the boys the next day he also says "hey, don't wanna upset you but ross is proper struggling with being away. had your candle burning the whole day yesterday" and you reply like "ah fuck he told me he was down but i didn't think it was this bad. i hate it", and matty's like "look i know you guys agreed it wouldn't make sense for you to come on tour, but i think it's the best thing for him. up for that?" and you agree. you fly out the next week and jamie meets you at the airport and drives you to the venue so you're there to surprise ross when he gets there; you sit in the green room with a coffee, grinning as you hear the boys' voices increase in volume as they near the door, and wave as they all enter like "surprise!". and ross genuinely tears up when he sees you and just runs to grab you and hug you tightly - you're like "sorry if i stink i literally just got off a plane" and ross laughs and he's like "i'm lowkey sick of your perfume anyway i've been burning it in candle form for weeks", and you're jokingly like "oi!" and ross giggles like "never gonna be sick of the taste of your lips though. may i?" and you nod and he just kisses you so deeply (george is in the back oohing like a 12 year old but everyone else is cheering). and you just kinda sit with ross as he preps for the show, and stand at his side of the stage as he performs - he's so much more relaxed and happier with you there cheering him on and blowing kisses, and i think he doesn't let go of you at all from the minute the show ends <3

[ralith]

Venting time because I just got back from my stepbrother's funeral.

I will preface this by saying I understand every family has different traditions and dysfunctions, and that I'm only looking in from the outside, so I can't understand the things I saw today. But I will rant about it.

To begin, yes, they thought it was a good idea to bury my stepbrother on 4/20 despite suffering from alcohol and drug abuse his whole life, and it's a drug overdose that killed him. They thought he would find it funny. Y'know what, maybe he would've. I only met him once a few years back so I didn't know him well.

We got to the chapel late because we had to pick up my other stepbrother and his gf. He was dragging his feet getting ready and when they get in the car they stink of cigarettes, which tells me we're late bc they needed to light up.

Now my chest begins to burn from the smell.

The ceremony was good except for the one motherfucker who didn't silence their phone 🙄

We get to the graveside, a few more words are said, and the grave digger is standing awkwardly to the side, ready to begin filling the hole.

Then my stepbrother's birth mother suddenly whips out a bag of fucking Nips and passing them out before saying something rather stereotypical and offensive.

Finally the urn is placed in the ground, the grave digger begins to fill the hole, and family lingers around.

Then, in yet another "what the fuck" moment, the old gf of my steobrother sits down beside the grave, lights a joint ("in his honor") and starts passing the fucking thing around.

I'm done at this point, I get in the car, and of course my waste of human existence stepbrother and his gf shared the joint and now the car smells to hell of cigarette smoke and skunk ass.

My chest is aching from the smell and it's still tight as i type this. I'm also getting a headache in the car from it all.

We then went to a restaurant and the food was good and I could begin to unwind a bit. Then on the way home my stepbrother starts complaining how he doesn't have enough money for cigarettes and if my stepdad could give him some cash and it took every matter of my being to keep from me whipping around and saying shit like "you smell bad enough as is. You don't need more cigs."

So I'm back home now and tired and I think the secondhand smoke is ramping up my anxiety/OCD because it was maintained okay earlier, but it's bad now.

[deeptrashwitch]

Alright, I haven't wrote in a time but I have a brainrot about my boys. So...I want to introduce my Team for now, maybe later I'll introduce eachone (including some changes I've made in two of them)

Team Charlie/Specters

Captain Alicia "Origin" Marchant: Marine Raider Regiment, hand-to-hand combat specialist

Lieutenant Luke "Harlem" Michaelis: 75th Ranger Regiment, team's mechanic

Sergeant Jackson "Doc" Blackwell: Navy SEAL (Team 5), team's medic

Sergeant Edward "Eager" Jackson: 101st Airborne Division, pilot

Corporal Noah "Cobalto" García: Navy SEAL (Team 7), demolition expert

Corporal Elijah "Delta" Wilson: 75th Ranger Regiment, recon expert

Private Nicholas "Clover" Fowlett: 101st Airborne Division, tech specialist

Private Marcus "Poison" Lombardi: Marine Raider Regiment, infantry operator

Private Elliot "Pride" Stevens: 75th Ranger Regiment, combat engineer

Private Alexander "Hawk" Christensen: Marine Raider Regiment, main team's sniper

Francis "Viper" Scott: Navy SEAL (Team 2), military cartographer

They are known inside as 75th Regiment Specters, a team created by Cpt. Marchant years after her mission in Angola with some help. She picked them personally, since she knew some of the Drill Sergeants. Heard about every one through them and learnt about their missions, later recruited into the team.

Since the very beggining they were told about the only rule Marchant had, "No one's left behind", after that they molded their own code in combat. They are efficient, quick and deadly, and that's all that their allies care about.

Also they have a coordinator and the only thing the team know about them is their nickname "Wraith". Alicia know her tho, an old friend of hers.

For everyone outside of them, they are just a good team. But reality is that after so many years, they've become a little family. Alicia care deeply for them and treat them as their own. All the boys care for her as much as she does.

There was a time when she got really bad injured during a mission (almost didn't make it), and all of them were basically feral going after the enemies seeking vengance. And the last time someone tried to use one of the boys as hostage...well, it isn't hard to imagine, is it? Marchant is feared because of a reason.

Note: Sorry if i got something wrong about the occupation of each one or about something else, i'm absolutely not a military and english is not my first language, everything came from internet, google traductor and a family member.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Phrases (they never admit they said it)

Alicia: I'm too sober for this...why did i adopted these ten?

Luke: Back off Alexander, that's is mine! And I don't stink!

Jackson: Can you stop trying to get killed every single mission!? Damnnit!

Edward: Ya me enteré! Que hay otro acariciando tu piel!

Noah: Someone shut Eager up! I'm dying over here!

Elijah: Not in front of my salad, fucking animals

Nicholas: Get the heck outta here, i'm tired enough about your stupidity

Marcus: This bitch bite me! CAPTAIN! WHY ON GOOD GOD'S EARTH YOU RECRUITED A DAMN CANNIBAL?!

Pride: Not my fault lil' shit! You know exactly what happen when you take my things!

Hawk: Ha! I got Luke's hoodie! And God if it doesn't stink!

Viper: C'mon Clover, i don't know if i can take this anymore, i'm at the verge of a breakdown

[contentment-of-cats]

The narc is right on schedule.

Here we go again. Narcs love to spoil shit they can't control, and @cordeliaperry - formerly cyberwitch85 and who knows how many sockpuppets - pops up. She's got a hard-on for Merry Chissmas now, because if you've shit your pants in front of an entire fandom, what's one more fart in all the stink?

My first experience with her was when she threatened a friend with revenge porn. Another more comprehensive link here. It was not a rumor - it was something she did. She likes to delete her replies and edit her posts, so you have to document every interaction.

I did not dox her, though I do have the information from a post that she herself made. She's locked her archive and blocked me, but I do have screenshots and her showing her whole ass on other blogs. Receipts, baby.

The reason she’s accusing me of doxing is because she donated to my cancer fund and I offered the money back. Someone, not me, sent her the money. I also turned over the $100 she funded me to a cancer charity. She also does not know the meaning of the word 'doxxing' which is the public exposition of personal information such as name, address, and so forth. However, it is a hot-button word that gets attention - and since she's a textbook narc, that's what she feeds on.

Not a Boomer - it's an ageist dogwhistle from a person desperate to recruit her own army of flying monkeys. Gen X, represent.

She went full bunnyboiler on a writer formerly in the fandom, sending multiple hate anons - that were so obviously her. And there are so many, many, many of them.

She is alleged to have used her Discord server to spy on her 'friends' - one of the reasons I now avoid Discord servers.

Since she was not getting any traction attacking said author, she turned on one of the author's friends with a bloodthirsty campaign of harassment.

She bullied a Thrawn fan out of the fandom and from their blog. She might have done this to others that I don't know about, considering how many fans disappeared from the fandom when I was sick starting from February 2022 (diagnosis) to March/April of 2022 (recovery from last surgery).

She hates me because I've gotten very fucking tired of narcs torpedoing fandoms because they want to be a BNF. She bullied a lot of people, and people are scared to stand up to her. I don't give two farts in a tornado. I'll punch back on the bitch.

People are afraid of her - one reason that Merry Chissmas has an anon submission option. She allegedly gathered people's contact info to organize a fandom penpal activity, then also used an author's contact info to harass them. Nobody wanted to be next.

As she cycles through her narcissistic rage, she's staying on brand. Narcs love to ruin holidays and make it all about them. You can find out about the darker side of fandom here with history, tutorials on protecting yourself, resources, and other informative articles.

And finally, I offer a video of wisdom from Darren F. Magee - an excellent psychologist, fellow sci-fi nerd, and man on a mission.

If she can't control an event and if she can't be the center of attention, she'll do her level best to ruin it for everyone else. In the spirit of the holidays, I think I'm going to - a few times a week - post a screenshot of her clownery along with an appropriate Darren Magee video just to make the point.

Merry Chissmas, 🤡

[sophsun1]

The gifset you made about Justin being Brian's best fuck got me to thinking about the episode where Brian got an STI and once he was cleared to engage in sexual activity again, Justin is the first person he goes to. And when Justin asks him if he ever gets tired of fucking around, his response is that being tired of something means it's become boring and predictable. Even though he's being a dickhead in that scene, it goes to show that nothing comes close to being with Justin which is insane considering the number of partners he's had. Same thing happened after he finally got it up after his stint with cancer, he goes looking for Justin. It also goes back to the pilot when Brian leaves the guy at Babylon because he got bored, and who shows up right after that... Justin, you absolute legend! He wore Brian out their first time when Justin was a virgin. It's why no matter how much Brian didn't want to deal with the lovesick puppy antics, he couldn't resist if he tried.

Hey anon!

EXACTLY.

For all his insistence that he didn't love Justin and that it wasn't a "relationship" he sure had trouble keeping away from him. All the times he was able to engage in his favourite pastime he chose Justin first, because even though he'd deny it to his grave the other tricks were just that... a fuck. But Justin became so much more.

Michael even clocked it early on with the scene in 1x04 where he, Brian and Emmett are discussing what they did last night. When they ask Brian he lies and says he had an early night and it flashes back to him spending the night with Justin, you can see Michael side eye him because he knows he's lying and the fact that he had already broken his one fuck policy that early... Justin was special to him.

Not forgetting the hustler from season three - need I say more!!!

Alongside Brian hallucinating that the trick he was with was Justin in the following episode, my boy had it bad for his Sunshine.

I always die laughing at the hotel scene where Brian has begrudgingly travelled to New York to bring Justin home and scold him for stealing his credit card and running away. And all it takes is for Justin to insult him by saying he looks like shit and that he basically stinks and should have a shower and that leads to them having sex asdfgjkdsfjk. No matter how mad he is at him or annoyed he just cannot resist him and I mean who else but a teenager could keep up with his sex drive you know?

[hillbillyoracle]

I really really get why people don’t quit social media. 

I mean I always kind of knew but I’m really feeling it these days. 

When I finally got off all algorithmic social media, I thought “cool, now I can figure out creative solutions for all the problems it presents and then I can share those with other people - win/win.” But all I’ve discovered is just how painful it is to swim upstream. 

I have tried so many stinking ideas to create higher quality relationships outside of social media and every single one of them has failed. 

And in the beginning, I wasn’t really resentful toward folks for not meeting me part way or not being able to get a group together but after about 9 months, the resentment is creeping in. I hate it so much and I feel like such an entitled prick. I want to be chill and understanding. 

The situation is really fucked though. 

In researching for social sobriety, I came across a term for the kind of validation and shallow social interactions we get from social media - social snacking. It’s used to describe the fact that we have social appetites and if we fill up on social snacks then we don’t have the urge to make the effort to hang out with people, sacrifice our time to help them, and hold space for them when needed.

I thought when I gave up social snacking, that I’d get my appetite back and I’d just start having more “social meals”. That...did not happen. I mean my appetite came back - hard - but nothing was on offer. Most people repeatedly turned me down when I asked to hang out on Zoom (I’m too far for most people to drive) and wouldn’t work with me on finding alternatives. 

Okay, I thought, I’ll try to broaden my taste. I tried harder to meet people in my new town but quickly found out how daunting it is being a sober 30 something queer in a small rural town. I’m also often sick so getting out to events is often painful and takes days of recovery. This largely went no where. 

I tried creating or revitalizing online communities - that has so far gone no where as well. I tried joining existing ones - only to find most of them were toxic as hell and expected all the same social norms that had driven me off of social media. 

It’s been so hard to realize that my choices really are social snacking or social starving. 

And honestly, I’m leaning toward the starving because I hate social media that much. I’m considering going further - shutting down my patreon, taking a long hiatus from tumblr, turning over my discord duties to someone else. 

Like I’m just...I think I’d rather have the pain of being truly alone than the pain of shallow and often toxic interactions. 

I’ve really tried. I put myself out there over and over. I worked on myself. I just...I don’t think I’m one of the lucky folks, the ones who have close friendships and don’t have to work too hard to find people to connect with. 

I think I’m tired of working against the flow of the world. If this is really what people want then so be it. I think my time would be better spent learning how to accept my lifelong isolation and just figuring out how to be at peace with it. 

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e5 shut up, dr phil (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

maybe you'd have less nightmares if you weren't sleeping on top of the covers in your jeans, dean. when i watch this show again i'm surely going to keep count of how many times he sleeps like this because it seems like the rule instead of the exception these days. sam too. and sleeping like that on bobby's couch. good for no one

tickles me to no end to find little computer goofs, especially because they're generally good with them! consistent and not obviously fake (teen wolf has some laughably bad ones where like instead of a url it would be a file path on the hard drive) because i am always looking 👀 this one didn't end up in that weird fake browser window like normal, up at the very top you can see Windows Picture and Fax Viewer LOL no wonder we're zoomed in and can't see our good old untitled 1 and 2. also searching for "FREAKY ACCIDENTS" very dean, thanks. very 9am drinking away the guilt dean

screenshots, that's it! "Pass Word" lol what.

DEAN No, it's not good for you. Look at you. You're, you're a mess, and you stink.

still grumpy mcgrumperson i see.

SAM You know, one more thing. What's going on with you? DEAN We have had this conversation, Sam. SAM No, we haven't. See, to do that, you'd have to, uh, sort of...speak.

DEAN Okay, let's see if you can get this straight. See you're – you're new Sam, right, Lance Armstrong. SAM Biking. DEAN And, uh – and I'm still me, okay? All right, so – so, you might see things different now, uh – call it a runner's high or some crap – but that doesn't mean that something's going on with me, okay? SAM Yeah, okay. DEAN No, don't say, "yeah, okay," like, "yeah, okay."

SAM Yeah, okay.

classic. dean trying to be the boss. sam bringing the little brother energy.

an attempt was made

oh we're back to the very special episode about addressing dean's alcoholism

ahh this dude was spike on buffy. the lady playing his wife was on it too but is not ringing a bell at all. i tried to watch it after a few years ago but never got very far. i did, however, enjoy the original movie with luke perry. in the theater. in 1992

DEAN So, the mister's a witch, himself. That means we got not just one pissed-off witch. We've got two. It's full-on "War of the Roses." SAM "Bewitched" just got a lot less funny. DEAN It's like when they switched Darrins.

DEAN Look – obviously, you two are capable of wiping each other out, right? But you haven't, huh? Which means that you two – you still value whatever it is you got. A-and you want keep that dance going. Maybe it's – maybe it's punishment. Maybe it's – it's sick, messed-up, erotic, kinky, clamps and feathers kind of love. SAM Okay, okay, t-that's – that's going way too deep, there, cowboy.

the case relationship mirroring issues in their own relationship as ever. murderous rampage over an affair solved by talking it out.

that dean is so messed up over this killing jewel staite and lying to sam about it thing feels so fucking overblown and manufactured. i am so, so over it. surely there's a better source of things for dean to angst over. though i don't really ever like when the main source of conflict is them hiding shit from each other

DEAN Sam, I am so very, very, very, very...very, very tired -- SAM Dean, like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about doesn't just go away. It builds up, like whatever's eating at you right now. DEAN There's always something eating at me. That's who I am. Something happens, I feel responsible, all right? The Lindbergh baby – that's on me. Unemployment – my bad. SAM That's not what I'm talking about. DEAN Well, then what the hell are you talking about? SAM I'm talking about whatever you're not telling me about. Look, Dean, it's fine. You can unload. That's kind of what I'm here for. SAM I mean... we're good, right? DEAN We're good.

also what a weird way to deal with the dumbass leviathan attack situation. i am already exhausted with that plotline

brief music sidenote the classical piece playing during couples counseling was chopin nocturnes op 9: no2 in E flat major andante and i swear it must be on just about every ballet class music album because i know it so well but i couldn't tell you what it was for the life of me