#erling haaland

[cityzenchick]

Guten Tag @sandy007 😘 es war schön, Erling wieder in Manchester zu sehen, wie er seine Teamkollegen anfeuert ⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️ was für ein Spiel!! Ich war so glücklich, als die Tore von City fielen!! 👏🫶 Es muss für Erling frustrierend gewesen sein, von der Seitenlinie aus zuzusehen, aber er wird sich für KDB gefreut haben 🥰 Hoffe, du hast ein sonniges Wochenende? 🤗☀️🌼💞

🩵

🩵

[reeebh9]

I call this the viking effect

[szszsz108]

catchup for 15mins after match 🤭

cr. tungle_1810

[reigningm4x]

maxverstappen1: 🇳🇱 🤝 🇳🇴

[sandy007]

@cityzenchick unser sexy Goldjunge 🤗🤪💕🩵

[thesoccerfan]

[barcameowski]

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 ⁻ ruben dias

genre: smau

pairing: ruben dias x reader!established relationship

face claim: flavy barla

warnings: none

𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽𐬼𐬽

liked by rubendias , joaofelix79 , ivandias03 and 298,000 others

yourusername: gorgeous view, oh and rubens there

view comments

rubendias: wow.

⇝ yourusername: its okay, i still like u

⇝ rubendias: LIKE? YOU’RE MY GIRLFRIEND

user1: i love this relationship

user2: god really does have his favorites

user3: hot boyfriend + even hotter girlfriend

user4: im so jealous

user5: hes so papi coded

⇝ user6: ....dats...bold

yourfriend: where you staying at mamacita?

⇝ yourusername: *insert radio rebel meme*

ivandias03: i like you more and more every day

⇝ yourusername: im flattered, but i have a boyfriend. sorry

⇝ ivandias03: ....

user7: we've all seen the pictures. shes absolutely stunning, and hes...there

user8: my bi awakening

⇝ user9: my goal in life is to date one of them. i dont care which one

user10: i dont get the hype about her

user11: BOOM SHAKALAKAAAA

user12: i want this kind of relationship

user13: when i grow up i wanna be like yn (im 26)

liked by rubendias , carlossainz55 , sophiaaemilia and 319,000 others

yourusername: apparently not a ’bowling night’ outfit 😔

view comments

rubendias: thats not what i said

⇝ yourusername: thats exactly what you said

⇝ rubendias: meu amor i said you looked great

rubendias: o mais bonita 😍

⇝ yourusername: eu amo te velho 🥰

user1: their banter is so cute

user2: hannah montana said nobodys perfect, but here she is

sophiaaemilia: pretty 🤩

⇝ yourusername: youuuuu

user3: i love women

user4: the comments made me realize I’m so single and depressed

user5: perfect people don’t deserve perfect relationships 😭😭😭😭

user6: I fear I’m more in love than ruben

user7: he definitely isn’t winning on the field but he’s winning off the field

⇝ liked by rubendias

user8: all wags are gorgeous PROVE ME WRONG

user9: I need 90 minutes to rethink my entire life and any decisions I have ever made

user10: take me to portugal i want to find a man like ruben

⇝ user11: I don’t need a man like ruben I need ruben

user12: am i the only one that misses single ruben?

⇝ user13: hell no, single ruben was miserable at least with this blonde lady he is happy

user14: who even is she?

⇝ user15: someone you’re jealous of

liked by yourusername , ivandias03 and 418,000 others

rubendias: event of the year only because she attended

view comments

yourusername: I ❤️ u

⇝ rubendias: spell it out correctly

⇝ yourusername: I LOVE YOU

⇝ rubendias: damn chill

⇝ yourusername: shut the hell up

ivandias03: get yo ass out of here

user1: I love this relationship more than I love my mom

user2: okay when is it my turn

user3: why am I single

user4: you’re so sexy post yourself

user5: she’s so sexy post her

user6: impeccable taste in women

⇝ rubendias: thank you for noticing, I try really hard

user7: and boyfriend of the year goes to…..

user8: I want to be their dog I can bark

user9: okay time for me to turn my phone off

user10: I want a refund

user11: I’m sobbing, I want a boyfriend

user12: at first we all thought she was a gold digger but I feel like this is real love

liked by rubendias , georginagio and 312,000 others

yourusername: my old favorite person, ruben and my new favorite person, simba

view comments

rubendias: do you actually love me

⇝ yourusername: yes, of course 😘😘

user8: DO YOU NEED ANOTHER DOG?? I CAN STILL BARKKK

user1: I love this lil family

user2: is it bad I want to be a dog?

user3: this is my roman empire

user4: I can’t wait til they have kids

⇝ yourusername: simba is my kid ? wdym?

user5: cutest dog ever

⇝ rubendias: cutest woman ever

⇝ yourusername: cutest man ever

⇝ user6: are we interrupting something…

user7: if this didn’t break my heart idk what will

user9: I want to be the dog

user10: that puppy is the luckiest puppy to ever walk the earth

[sl0wdiver]

The Footyblr Political Matrix

Welcome to the thing that has consumed my life for the last few months. I've decided to plot every footballer and manager this site loses their shit for on a political matrix.

Not a political spectrum - I really can't be arsed to guess their left/right leanings. Instead, we have a matrix, measuring:

Political Ideation (vertical axis) - How do they see the world? Do they have good ideas or bad ideas?

and

Political Intelligence (horizontal axis) - Do they have a clue what's going on? Could they make an argument for anything?

These judgments are based on their actions both on and off the pitch.

Disclaimer

This document is the result of years of careful, thorough analysis. It is 208% accurate. If you disagree with it, cope. I have a degree in Politics. The position of your favs on here does not affect you.

A lot of women's football players are left out of this as I don't want to pit them against men. The ones that are on there are there for a good time!

Best viewed on desktop!

______________________

Edits 05/03/24: amended Bounou's description to say "Emerging Arabian figurehead"

[moo-siala]

NIGHT IN THE MALDIVES — ERLING HAALAND

PAIRING: erling haaland x wife!reader

SUMMARY: you’re enjoying the maldives with your husband and he’s trying to convince you to go skinny dipping with him.

CONTENT: smut (+18), p in v, erling being a little shit, not proof read

NOTE: sorry for the wait! like i mentioned before, tumblr was being annoying and wouldn’t let me verify my email but hey! we’re here now! this is another repost from my old blog.

you and erling were spending the break in the maldives to celebrate your two-year anniversary. you had visited the maldives for your honeymoon, and erling knew how much you loved it. wanting to surprise you and create even more special memories, he chose to return to this beautiful destination that was filled with nothing but love on your last visit.

the water, the sunset, the tranquility, and the privacy were the things you cherished the most about the place. you could enjoy the sun, the beach, your book, and your husband without having to worry about a single thing. well… unless your husband had something in mind, just like right now.

erling was trying to convince you to skinny dip with him. more like he was begging you to skinny dip with him.

"erling, i said no" you giggled,

"why not? we have our own private pool" he pouted, giving you the cutest puppy eyes.

“stop it with the puppy eyes, they won't work this time" you rolled your eyes.

"you sure?" he smirked.

“very, so stop trying manipulating me" you said as you turned the page of your book.

"fine" he whines and made his way to the pool.

"your loss!" he said again after a few minutes as he stuck his tongue out at you.

“you’re a child” you shook your head trying to contain the laughter.

—

after an afternoon spent reading, tanning, and playing in the water with erling, you decided it was time for dinner. the sun was setting, casting a golden glow over the beach as you made your way to the restaurant.

the meal was delicious. as you were finishing your dessert, a thought crossed your mind. you recalled the question erling had asked you earlier in the day. a sly smile spread across your face as you considered your master plan, the anticipation of its unfolding adding a spark of excitement to the evening.

when you got back, erling said he needed to use the restroom. great, you thought as you made your way out to the pool. you left your phone in one of the chairs and proceeded to take off the dress you had chosen for the evening along with your underwear. you got in the water and swam by yourself for a little bit before you heard erling calling your name.

“in the pool!” you said, making your way to the edge of the pool and resting your arms there.

“what are you doing?” he chuckled.

“wanted to go for a swim” you smiled at him as he was oblivious to your lack of clothing.

he smiled and stared at you for a few seconds, and that's when he noticed. you were in the pool, yes, but he didn't recall you putting a bikini on. he smirked and got a bit closer.

"you're naked aren't you" he looked at you, biting his lip.

“why don’t you come in and find out yourself?” you smirked.

you had never seen erling get rid of his clothes that fast.

he got in the water and grabbed you by the waist, pulling you into him and meeting your lips in a hot and passionate kiss. you kissed back and ran your fingers through his blonde locks.

“just do it already" you moaned between kisses when he squeezed your ass.

"so desperate" he cooed, wrapping your legs around his waist.

erling pressed your back against the pool gently and slid his length between your folds, you bit your lip and wrapped your arms around his neck. he grabbed your waist and started pounding into you, making you whimper.

“keep going, pretty girl, i want to hear you" he groaned softly as he increased the intensity of his thrusts.

erling knew exactly how to treat his woman. he knew what you liked and where you liked it, which made the sex even better.

he kept pounding into you as his fingers found your sensitive bud and his mouth found your right breast.

"erling" you moaned as you felt your orgasm building up,

"that's it baby girl, cum for me" he encouraged you as his movements became faster but sloppier, sending you to heaven and back. you let out one last moan as you came, erling following behind a few moments later.

“fuck, i love you” he groaned before kissing you.

“i love you more” you said, panting and leaving a soft kiss to his lips.

needless to say, that night in the maldives was really special.

a few weeks later you found out you were pregnant with your first child. erling insisted it was because you made love under the moon in the maldives. he also joked about naming the baby maldives, until you sent a pillow flying his way.

[judesbway]

Haaland & Bellingham 🌓⭐️

[underwater-i-will-go]

favourite moment btw

[kraeki]

roomies turned rivals

[thewrongblues]

hmmmm....

[f0point5]

Two nepo babies who have eclipsed their mediocre dads and are currently changing the game?

[kundayy]

Erling Haaland｜Manchester City vs Newcastle United

Captain Erling🩵

Look how happy he is. He just can't stop smiling🥰

[nosugarallspice]

Hey I have an idea for a story :) could u do a Erling Haaland smut, where he is kind of shy and careful to touch y/n‘s body, because how small and sensitive she is compared to him?

Sure! // I hope you like it <3

Minors DNI!!

Word Count: 385

~~

“Is this okay?” Erling asked as he hovered over you. Both of his arms resting on the sides of your head to help support himself.

“Perfect.” You smiled, leaning up to kiss him, your hands snuck up his back, pulling him down against you.”

“Y/n.” Erling warned, looking at you.

“Don’t worry,“ you whispered, cupping his face in your hands and leaning up “you won’t break me.” You giggled before kissing him, again.

—

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” Erling moaned, his massive hands grabbing onto your hips, holding you in place as he fucked into you.

He remembered to be gentle, taking his time with you, easing you into things. It took a few minutes for you to adjust to him but once you were comfortable, he wouldn’t let go, he was going to ruin you, and that’s exactly what you wanted.

He towered over you completely, compared to him, you were extremely tiny, but the size difference was everything to you.

“You like this, don’t you?” He murmurs, his arm extending and gripping the headboard, driving deeper and harder into you.

“Yes.” You moan, staring up at him, your tiny hands resting on his lower back, digging deep.

Erling’s eyes watched, completely mesmerized by you, by the way your tits bounced with each thrust, the way your eyes flutter shut and your lips part as you moan.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” Erling whispers, his face buried in the crook of your neck, continuing to rock his hips against yours. His hand slid down your leg, pushing it against him.

“Yeah?” You moan, arching your back, pushing your bare chest against his. Your hand now tangled in his hair tugging gently. You could feel him nodding against your skin.

“Been wanting to have you like this, for a while now.” Erling moans as his cock goes deeper inside you, the tip brushing against your sweet spot.

“Erling.” You whimper, your cunt squeezing him.

His hips began to move faster, slamming against you. The headboard slightly hitting against the wall. “I know, love.” He kisses your shoulder, rutting into you as his release approaches.

Your moans became more consistent as your orgasm took over, tightening your grip on him as you cried out his name.

Erling followed along, releasing his load deep inside you.