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seokminfools · 6 years ago

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Minnie

Word count : 3349

Genre : Fluff, a disgusting amount of it

The sun was just starting to hide behind the clouds. They weren’t dark though, just big, thick clouds, almost like cotton balls filling up the sky. The air was cool as it blew against my cheek, tiny cloud forming with each exhale. I gripped the sling of my bag closer to me, my feet kicking a few pebbles on the pavement, occasionally stepping on dried orange leaves, making a crunching sound. The trees were painted orange and the streets were covered in leaves. My neighbor was out early in the morning with his blower, trying to rid of the fallen leaves that ended up by their porch. I smiled; it was finally my favorite season.

I turned around the block and bent down by the bushes. The little tent set up behind it was still intact, and I could hear the soft purrs coming out from it. This place was a regular stop over, no matter how late I would be for my errands, I would make sure to always pass by. I took the jar from my bag and started spilling out its contents. Soon enough, my little friend came out from her hideout and came out to greet me. She rubbed her head on my leg and started purring while I pet her head. I smiled warmly at her, “You’re getting big, Minnie.” She meowed and my smile widened. I might just break my landlord’s house rules just to bring her home. Somewhere between just wanting to protect her from the rain that one night, to checking up on her once every few weeks, I’ve fallen in love with her. She trusts me now, too that she would follow me all the way to the café sometimes. It wasn’t far, so I would allow her to. I noticed something new about her; she was wearing a collar. “Oh? Who got this for you, Minnie?” My fingers ran through the faux pink leather, to the cool metal pendant that hung by her neck. I smiled when I saw what was engraved on it. Minnie. I stood up from where I was crouching and gave Minnie one last pet before heading towards my destination. I pushed the glass door, ignoring the Sorry we’re CLOSED signed that hung on it. The bell chimed above my head, causing the ruckus by the back to halt. A head peaked out from the kitchen to call to whoever came in hours before the opening time.

“Sorry we’re not open ye—Oh it’s just you!” He stopped midsentence and with a smile and his head disappeared back into the room. I rolled my eyes playfully before heading towards the kitchen. He was dusting his hands off of flour and wiped his hands on his blue apron, which was already more than covered by flour. I tossed him a fresh towel from the counter by the door and he caught it swiftly. He smiled at me and I returned one back toward him. His cheek had frosting smeared on it and I giggled. He turned his head sideways in confusion which caused me to giggle even more. I pointed at my own cheek and he touched his, mirroring my action. He quickly caught on what got me amused and immediately wiped it off. My giggles died down and was replaced by a fond smile instead. He rolled his eyes and went back outside, me trailing after him.

“what’s gotten you so giddy this morning? You’re extra smiley today.” He said while his back was turned against me. I slid on one of the high chairs—so high that I swung my feet while on it—in front of the cashier counter and rested my chin on my palms.

“Oh I don’t know,” I started, but stopped, waiting for his reaction. When I didn’t continue, he looked up from making my drink to raise an eyebrow at me. He covered the teacup with a saucer and turned the timer on. He then turned to face me and leaned back on the marbled counter behind him, crossing his arms while waiting expectantly. I looked down at my hands and fiddled with them, suppressing a knowing smirk creeping up my cheeks. “Someone got Minnie a collar.” My head stayed lowered but I sneaked a look at him. He turned his gaze away from me, and even though the lighting was dim—no lights were tuned on and the only source of lighting was the sunlight seeping through the glass walls—I saw a slight blush seeming to creep up his cheeks. “At first I thought someone finally decided to adopt her but you’ll never guess what I saw.” I finally raised my head to look at him and he did the same. “What?” He asked.

“They knew Minnie’s name. It was engraved on the pendant! I wonder who gave it to her?” I smiled, knowing very well who Minnie got it from. Before he could answer, the timer for the tea went off and he turned around—not fast enough for me to miss his ears turning red—to finish preparing my usual. When he turned back around, I stifled a laugh and he was avoiding to meet my gaze.

“Here’s your usual. Rose hibiscus tea and a grilled chicken sandwich. You can leave now.” He said, handing me the paper bag and heading back to the kitchen, in an attempt to run away. I caught his sleeve and decided to tease him a bit more. He turned around and let out an exasperated sigh. I checked my watch and saw that I had a lot of time before having to go to work. “Nah, I think I’ll eat my order here. I have a lot of time right now.” He groaned in response and headed toward the kitchen again. I laughed and followed him again towards the back, sipping on my tea. Ah, warmth. When I got back into the kitchen he was already starting to put the dough in the ovens and he glared at me when I entered his line of vision.

“Why are you so embarrassed about getting Minnie a collar?” I asked, genuinely curious. “I also know you’ve been letting Minnie sleep inside the café at night before you close. I also saw the bag of cat food under the cashier.” I giggled, remembering how much healthier Minnie now looked compared to when I first got her. “She’s gotten a lot fatter, you know.” He turned around to face me and I tried hard to suppress my laughter. It seemed like all of the blood in is body rushed to his ears. They were so bright; it was a sight to see. It was cute. He walked past me, exiting the kitchen again. I sipped my tea again while waiting him to come back, and before I got too bored, he came back in.

“I saw you last week looking at collars for Minnie.” He started, and now it was my blood’s turn to rush to my cheeks. “You didn’t get them though because we both knew your landlord wouldn’t allow it.” I nodded my head sadly at his statement. “I don’t know if you knew but I actually know your landlord. He comes by here every 3’o clock-ish,” I set down my tea on the counter behind me and crossed my arms. “One afternoon, it started raining really badly and I ran outside to pick up Minnie and bring her inside the café because I’ve also grown quite fond of Minnie,” He said, a small smile creeping up his face. “When he came in, I had just finished setting up Minnie’s corner and he saw her. At first he kept glaring at her, but when Minnie purred while rubbing her head on his leg, it’s like, he fell in love.” I laughed at the last part.

“Everyone falls in love with Minnie.” I tried to be subtle about my statement, but the warmth creeping up my ears would probably tell him otherwise. “So, what happened?”

“I may or may not have mentioned that you technically own Minnie and just can’t bring her home because your landlord wouldn’t allow it and he may or may not have told me to tell you that you’re allowed to bring Minnie home now, which was the reason I got her the collar and I was hoping you wouldn’t mention it yet because I wanted to buy Minnie a bed before telling you this.” He quickly said the last parts I almost didn’t catch it. But I did, and my eyes widened and I let out a squeal. Before I even knew I was doing, I was already in his arms, my own wrapping around his neck and he was giggling by my crook of my neck. I loosened my arms around his neck to look at his face to see if he was serious. Instead, he just smiled really widely, his full set of teeth showing and his eyes disappearing into small slits on his face. I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck again and started jumping excitedly while still being held captive in his arms. His laughter kept ringing in my ears and I kept mumbling a train of thank you thank you thank you thank you you’re the absolute best oh my god thank you.

He grabbed my waist to calm me down and it did. I stopped jumping around in his arms and just stared into his eyes, my smile mirroring his. “Thank you. I wouldn’t ever have the courage to ask for permission to keep Minnie.”

“Happy birthday.” He smiled, pulling out a small velvet box out of his apron pocket. My hands went to cover my mouth and when he saw my reaction he quickly added, “Don’t worry it’s not a ring. I’m not proposing.” I rolled my eyes and hit his arm and he cowered, massaging his arm. “Ah! I get you a gift and I get abused!” I rolled my eyes again and took the box from his hands. It was a silver necklace with a small circular locket. Minnie engraved on the outside and there was a picture of Minnie on the inside. My eyes threatened to spill with tears, when I looked up to him.

“Oh…don’t you like it?” He asked, his eyes turning into one with concern. I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist. I could tell that he felt confused with the sudden attack of physical affection but he slowly wrapped his arms around me, too. He started stroking my hair as I buried my face into his chest.

“Dumbass…I love it. Thank you.” He gasped when I called him a dumbass but he quickly laughed in response. “I’m glad you liked it. I was worried you wouldn’t because you don’t seem to wear necklaces a lot.” I lifted my face from his chest to look at him.

“You’re the best, Minnie.” I said quickly, before returning my face into the burrows of his chest. He swayed us both from side to side, his laughter rumbling on his chest. “You only say that when I get you something.” I hit his chest softly and he yelled an over dramatic ow! in response. I tightened my arms around his waist and closed my eyes, trying to calm my own heart at how happy I felt.

“Thank you, Minnie. I love you.” I whispered, so quietly I wasn’t sure if he heard it at first, but the quickening of his heartbeat told me that he did in fact, hear it.

“I do have one question though,” He started as he dropped the box on the carpet. He sat down in front of the box. He opened it and he started taking out its contents. A big sack of cat litter, a scratch post, an abundance of toys ranging from automatic mice to feathers for Minnie to play with. I sat down in front of him, grabbing the sack of litter and pouring its contents on to the tray. “Why did you name Minnie…Minnie?” I took a glance at him and he was fiddling with one of the cat toys, which made me smile fondly at him. I glanced over where Minnie was snoring on her new bed that we picked up just a few hours before we brought her home. I then returned my gaze at him. The resemblance was really…uncanny. They both had short brown curly hair, brown eyes, cute tall little noses and they both had very sweet personalities. I smiled to myself, standing up and started setting up the cat’s litter place.

“You two look alike.” I told him nonchalantly. I felt his eyes boring at my back and footsteps started following me. “I look like a…cat?” He asked and even without turning back to face him, I knew his head was cocked to the side, a habit he never really grew out of since we were kids.

“Stop pouting, Minnie. It’s not something negative.” I let out a soft chuckle.

“Move it by the stairs so it won’t stink up the house when she uses it.” He said and I mentally agreed, picking up the box and moving it by the staircase, him still trailing behind me quietly. I smiled to myself. See? Just like Minnie. I turned around to face him when I was done and I was right, he had his head cocked to the side, his brows almost meeting at the center and a small pout playing at his lips. “This is exactly why I named Minnie after you.” I said and his brows furrowed even further.

“I don’t get it.” I jumped to lay down on the couch and he followed right after me, lying down by the other end of the sofa. I fiddled with the locket of the necklace for a bit while staring at the ceiling. I bit my lip and opened the locket. A picture of him when he was seventeen was on the right, and a picture of Minnie on the left. A warm explosion took place in my chest when I saw the name Minnie carved on the outside of the locket.

“Hey Seokmin,” I started. I was feeling my chest tightening and I closed my eyes while still facing up the ceiling, not having the courage to look at him straight in the eye. “I love you.” I whispered. He scooted closer, just the tiniest bit. Just close enough that our knees were touching.

“I love you too, you know.” My breathing hitched. I used my arm to cover my eyes. Was I actually doing this? Right now? “No Minnie,” I started, feeling my throat closing up, this familiar feeling of the tightening in my chest revisiting me. “I think,” I paused, using my other arm to overlap the one covering my eyes, and play with my hair, a nervous habit. “I think I really love you, Minnie.” I choked the words out. I felt his hand making contact with mine and I jumped in surprise. I couldn’t see because of my arm blocking my vision but, I could feel like warmth radiating off me. When did he get this close? I felt his palms on my elbows and the next thing I knew; he was hoisting me into a sitting position. I kept my head down, a curtain of hair blocking my face. I placed my hands in front of me, fiddling with them. He took hold of mine and I closed my eyes, feeling another eruption of warmth take place inside my chest. Jesus Christ, I thought. Just how many volcanoes are living inside of me?

He slowly pushed my hair back, tucking some of it behind my ear while I refused to look up at him. He placed a finger at my chin, gently lifting my face so I’d have no other choice but to look at him. His face was beautiful. The way the dimly lit space made him seem like he was the brightest object in the room, he was breathtaking. The way his orbs bore straight into my soul, erupting yet again, another set of volcanoes. He pursed his lips, “I love you,” He placed his hand on my cheek, the warmth of it was enough for me to melt into it. “so much.”

“You know I don’t mean it as best fr—” I started but immediately cut myself off when he rolled his eyes and placed another palm on the other side of my cheeks. “I know, you fool.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. He smiled and I just stared at him in shock.

“You mean…you love me too? As in the I-want-to-date-you type?” He laughed and the cage of butterflies was set loose on my insides and I felt lightheaded. He was so beautiful it was unfair.

“I have been, for the last fifteen years but thanks for finally noticing, I guess.” He rolled his eyes as he intertwined our hands. I stared at him with my mouth agape. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I yelled, feeling both frustrated and relieved that I wasn’t losing my best friend but frustrated because I’ve been suppressing my feelings for nothing. All of the times I wanted to kiss him, all of the times I wanted to hold him, all of the times I wanted to tell him I loved him in this way. He shrugged in response, laying back down at the opposite end of the sofa.

“I was just waiting for you.” He said, staring at the ceiling. He was so calm, as if he expected this to happen already. On the contrary to how I was feeling, heart racing, palms sweaty, my ears ringing. “I’m not calm, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m actually freaking out right now. I didn’t think it would come this soon. I want to kiss you right now.” He confessed, and before he could even utter another word, I bent down to press my lips against his. Fuck. I thought. My lips were desperate against his, my hands making its his way to his hair as he slowly started sitting up, still not breaking contact. His hands found their way back on my cheeks and reciprocated an equal magnitude of desperation and need with his lips. I couldn’t breathe, this felt so surreal. I was kissing him. My best friend, the love of my life, my Minnie. He broke our lips apart, our foreheads touching. I was out of breath, borderline panting. He looked up at me with hooded eyes and broke into a grin. I couldn’t help myself. At this point, I was past having any form of self-control. I cupped his cheeks again and started peppering kisses all over his face. His forehead, his nose, his eyes, his cheeks, his chin, his lips. God, his lips. My lips lingered longer on his lips and he didn’t seem to mind, smiling into the kiss. I broke contact to breathe, but his hands found its way to the back of my neck and pulled me in again. I was breathless, my chest felt like it was close to exploding but I didn’t care. My lips never left his, a small smile slowly making its way to mine when I felt him smile against the kiss. He pecked my lips one last time before looking straight into my eyes. His lips were swollen, much pinker than they were a while ago. His cheeks were a nice shade of pink, too. He suddenly pulled me into a hug, causing me to end up sitting on his lap instead of awkwardly kneeling in between his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck, feeling the tears threatening to spill.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you, Minnie.” I pressed our foreheads together, our noses rubbing against each other, a big smile painted on both our flushed faces. Right here, in this moment, in his arms, I’ve never felt even more at home.

#seokmin #dennydrabbles #uh #this was disgustingly sweet #but im feeling lots of feelings so i needed to get this out #day 4 of pcd and im in fucking shambles lads

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seokminfools · 6 years ago

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180929 - for him.

Hey, it’s me again. It’s been a while since I wrote to you—no, it’s been a while since I felt the need to write to you. To write about you.

It’s been a while since we met. Three whole days since we met, and the feeling of it still lives in me. The way my cheeks hurt, the way I frantically waved in an attempt to catch your attention. It worked! Luckily. You had just finished performing your song and it was time for the opening ment when you did it. You looked into my general direction and spotted me. You smiled. You smiled and waved without any trace of judgement at how overexcited I probably have seemed—probably borderline ridiculous. Instead, you smiled so brightly. Your whole set of teeth was out for the whole world to see. Your eyes did the thing where they almost disappeared behind the folds of your eyes and little crinkles by your temples appeared. I was too caught up in the moment to even notice that your smile was directed towards me. I was too busy admiring you to realize that you smiled at me.

You smiled.

For me.

I was just extremely overwhelmed over the fact that you were there, right in front of me to even realize what had happened. It was only when my best friend, who witnessed it happen turned to me and informed, slash confirm to me that you did it for me.

It felt like I short-circuited when I realized what just happened. Bits and pieces of that was gone from my memory and the next thing I knew, you were introducing yourself in tagalog.

In tagalog.

My language.

“Ako po si Dokyeom, Mahal kita!” You even shot a big heart towards the crowd. I loved my mother tongue, I really do. It feels more heartfelt when people talk to me in tagalog, hence the reason I don’t just tell someone I love them in my language. It feels heavy and meaningful and yet here you are, saying mahal kita so casually. My chest suddenly decided to hold a firework festival without a permit.

You did the thing again. You aju nice’d the crowd multiple times. I got fooled, too. I stepped out of the crowd to queue again; to meet you. To meet you.

I was meeting you.

I wasn’t sure how and what would happen but, I was meeting you and that was everything that mattered to me at the moment. My legs felt like there were pins and needles poking, and every minute that was spent on my feet, more of it came to torture my muscles. My feet felt like they were standing barefoot on cold metal. My shoulders felt sore from the weight of my bag. My back felt like if I didn’t lie down soon, it would snap in half. But none of that mattered. I told myself that if I quit now I’d regret it. Just a bit more.

I prepared a gift for you, you know. It was nothing big. Nothing expensive. You might’ve seen it as a thoughtless gift too. It was nothing compared to what your more financially able fans were able to give you, and yet, I was hoping you’d take it and I hoped it would make you happy. I was hoping you’d hold hands with us but you didn’t, so in the end you didn’t know that I prepared something for you. I guess for now, we’ll never know how you would’ve reacted to my small present. A red bracelet with a ring. A wish bracelet. I have one too, and I believe in it. I wasn’t too sure if you were a superstitious person so you probably wouldn’t even have worn it but, just the idea that you took something from me was already enough to send me over the moon.

I guess it wasn’t time for that yet.

The universe didn’t allow it yet.

You came in the room and for some odd reason, you caught my eye. You looked at me again. Then suddenly, as cheesy as this sounds, my world slowed down. Suddenly, you were all that I saw. My ears started ringing and then you nodded your head and smiled.

You smiled for me.

Again.

This was already more than I could ever ask for.

But then, you didn’t break your gaze until you passed by me. My heart was strangely calm and I wasn’t shaking—like I thought I would be—but I was calm. My mind was just filled with you. You were everything I saw, I heard. At that moment, it was only you.

I met you.

Just typing this feels like I’m writing fiction and not an actual event. I met you.

You were so beautiful. No; you are beautiful. You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. Tons of people have said that you were so much more beautiful in real life and that pictures can’t do justice as to how beautiful you were. They were right. I thought they were overreacting but, holy shit. You are beautiful. For a while, I wasn’t sure if you could be real because you are just so unbelievable beautiful it puts all of God’s angels to shame. I think God was a bit clumsy when he made you. I think he got confused as to what he was sculpting when he made you. That, or he just had a bit more time on his hands and decided to make you extra special, just because he felt like it. I’m glad he did. And I’m even more glad that he decided that I would be born a year after you.

It was strange. My world felt like it slowed down and yet, before I knew it, you were gone. Out of my line of sight, out the door. Then my eyes started brimming with tears, but I held back. I couldn’t breakdown now. I went back to my friend and we ate, went home, and slept. I was seeing you tomorrow again, anyways.

I woke up early. The clock read half-past seven in the morning. Suddenly, the pillow was wet. God, this isn’t even my pillow. I wasn’t sure why I was crying. The sudden surge of emotions was so overwhelming that I wasn’t sure how to process what I was feeling. It was strange. But it felt like it was the right thing to do so I kept crying.

We left the dorm and headed to you again. I fell asleep on the way to you and arrived literally a minute before the event was planned to start. The amount of people who came to see you was unreal. The mall was filled. Filled to the brim. It was hard to get past the literal sea of people just to see you. The crowd was different from yesterday’s too. It was a mess and I wanted to give up for a moment but I didn’t. I weaved through them and just wanted to see your face one last time.

After much struggle, luckily I was able to. You were so bright today. You wore a white polo. The sleeves went pass your fingers; it was cute. You were cute. The next thing I knew, you were leaving. Again. Except you weren’t coming back this time. I won’t be seeing you tomorrow, or the next. You were leaving the country.

I wouldn’t know when I’d be able to see you again. I wouldn’t know when I’d be able to meet you again, or if I’ll ever get the chance to.

Writing this was a race against time in itself. I felt like this was the right time to write this. I couldn’t write it right after meeting you, where my mind would be in shambles because of how fresh the memory is, but I couldn’t write this after such a long time where I would forget bits and pieces that would make the story incomplete. So here I am, fighting against tears trying to finish this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not unhappy. I’m so incredibly happy, you’ve made me so incredibly happy and I don’t know if anyone can ever make me feel this happy again any time soon—or ever. I am so very thankful for you. You’ve made me so incredibly happy. You’ve made me feel full, and yet, so empty at the same time.

It feels like you took hold of my heart the moment you caught my gaze and when you boarded the plane to go back home, you forgot to return my heart back to me. Yet, I didn’t ask for it. I let you have it. So now I’m filled with this strange aching in my chest. I’m quite unsure if this feels like a void, or something more. The feelings are too complex for me to understand now, but someday I hope it makes itself known. I’m quite torn between wanting to fully express just what and how much I’m feeling right now but, I think I’d rather not be able to. I think the moment I can perfectly describe how I’m feeling is the moment things stop being beautiful. So now, I think I’ll just settle with this. Rambling words and fast fingers, trying to get it out as quickly as I can.

This is a selfish request but I hope we meet again. I hope we properly meet someday. Where I can speak your language and tell you everything, in a way that you would understand. 재데로 만나자. 약속해.

Half-way through writing this, thunders have started rumbling and lightnings have started to illuminte the sky. I am terrified of lightnings, and yet, today, the sparks in the sky don’t seem to bother me. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m at home and it probably won’t harm me anyway but, it’s comforting. The rumbling and sparks in the sky don’t seem to be as powerful as the storm brewing up in my chest. Rain hasn’t fallen just yet but isn’t it a wonderful coincidence? My most emotional day of missing you, on my fourth breakdown of the day, the sky has decided to join me in my sadness. It really makes me feel less alone so I’m glad.

I probably won’t proofread this. I don’t want to proofread it. I want it to be as raw as possible so one day, when I look back at it, I can get a glimpse of the set of emotions I felt while writing this.

One last thing, before I end this open letter to you.

Mahal na mahal kita, Lee Seokmin.

-끝-

#seokmin #dennydrables #my heart hurts plz i just needed to get this out #180929 #but i wrote this 181002

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