#and im tired of sleeping. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nightmare8-420 · 1 month ago

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i feel like a part of my soul has been ripped from my chest and i dont know why.

#is this a bad time to mention i dont even believe in souls?#i really dk why.#no this isnt abt jiro somehow apparently having a loving family #(ok like. at least 1/4 of it is BUT STILL. NOT THE POINT)#(part of me feels awkward abt it bc just. huh? youre telling me. this guy. that i basically am the irl version of. has a loving family???)#(/j and all but just. idk part of me feels awkward now? it just. a guy who blew himself up for most of the same ideals i have)#(gets to have the one thing i yearn so very hard for. everyday of my life. but can never have.)#(ill get over this in like. 2 hours. hopefully. most of thats just shock anyways.)#just. for the past some days. besides a couple things and people. hurt and love havent really. made me feel much of anything #like being cared for by actual ppl even online. yeah. it still does but #even my fantasies don’t entertain me anymore #oh god am i becoming lopt. save me fuck #UNLESS this means i get mason as my bf. then hell fucking yeah (kidding kidding kIDDINGG i dont wanna be lopt. please.)#but srsly. usually i can envoke some sorta reaction from myself if its brutal enough #but. nothing.#id assume that im over doing it usually. but i havent in a good while #maybe this is some what where my art/writers block is coming from #whatever this hell is.#time to go on a spiral of mildly depressing and somewhat cryptic posts (cryptic if i didnt info dump in the tags that is)#why is it so hard to confront issues when you dont even know what the issue is?#i just. wanna be able to make myself feel something.#not in a “i have no one but myself” way for once. just. i dont wanna have to rely on others for my emotions #i want to feel a pang of hurt. yet it feels so empty. i dont want to harm myself. i just want to feel it.#anyways ig.#ig im gonna just sleep #which tbh im growing to hate bc like. i feel all i do is sleep. i sleep to avoid how much my own body hurts. i sleep to ignore my issues #i sleep to ignore the fact i keep forgetting to respond to people even though ik i have to at some point. i sleep to avoid the dread of not #getting anything done. i sleep just because im bored.#and im tired of sleeping.#but. it feels worse awake. my body hurts. my mind hurts. it all just hurts.

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lesbian-disaster-academic · 1 year ago

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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

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cheruib · 1 year ago

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just a girl’s night routine

#just finished step 2. gonna sleep sooooooo well tonight.. im so tired 😴

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xxplastic-cubexx · 2 months ago

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i am beyond serious

bonus:

#xmen #xmen comics #house of x #krakoa #cherik #professor x #magneto #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #max eisenhardt #snap sketches #it is. 3am. and i have to be awake in two hours #ill be 100% i only drew the first bit as an excuse for the second doodle #bobble head i refuse to believe smooching is easy with that thang on #do you think it makes a bell sound. like when you hit a gong #idk im tired and my itch is scratched im sleeping for three seconds goodnight

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aashiqeddiediaz · 11 months ago

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you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

#zee rambles #this isn't to guilt trip anyone #but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever #and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it #now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people #but that doesn't mean its gone #that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it #honestly i just needed a lil rant #and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it #also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd

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secretly-a-trekkie · 4 months ago

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#remember when i said iw was tired #so i just didnt sleep #¯\ (ツ) /¯#star wars #the clone wars #tcw #commander cody #fanart #translate it if u want im ngl i forgot what i wrote and my eyes r blurring therefore sleepy time #aviiart

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iliothermia · 6 months ago

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'Your children will be as abundant as the stars'

Stars, like seeds, are abundant.. But there is also the isolating distance between them as they've spread. It can be lonely but hope you feel safe and loved and there's beauty in the homes we've made all over.

#pomegranate #jewish art #jumblr #sending love to homies everywhere #im stressed out and tired but. its ok #we are still connected even with hundreds n thousands of miles between communities and i think that is beautiful #something i think diaspora communities in general relate to..#sleep now #seeds #clusters #trypophobia #just in case

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limbel · 6 months ago

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