#i could fix him but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier
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imsosocold · 2 years ago
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The concept of Philip, Caleb, and the Collector all being childhood friends is really funny to me. I can imagine Philip going off on this deep rant about legacy and predeterminism and religion, unable to understand how Caleb could talk for a witch and starting to practice forbidden arts, insisting that they’re the reason there is misery in the world, while Caleb and the Collector, a being clearly not made by God, make eye contact the entire time.
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manglednatalia · 2 years ago
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Kithing him would be like kithing an actual wild jackal but I'd risk it
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2tarbell · 4 months ago
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COWBOY TAKE ME AWAY
you ask your boyfriend to take a look at your engine…
(drabble. © 2tarbell 2024)
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rafe was close to losing his damn mind. how was this thing even still running?
he’s not a mechanic, in fact he finds it all too fuckin’ annoying. but when you looked up at him with those sparkly eyes, asking him to fix your little car, he couldn’t bring himself to turn you down.
so there he was, backwards cap on and sweating through his shirt. he’s already smoked two cigarettes trying to even start to fix the damn thing. the mess that was awaiting him under the hood made him shoot you a look, but you simply furrowed your brows and sighed in that sugary sweet voice ‘jus’ dont know what’s wrong with it’.
he was a sucker, maybe. pussy whipped, for sure.
more than an hour had passed and hardly any progress was made on the deteriorating engine. he was starting to get pissed off, your ‘the chicks’ cd having played three times through, the screen door allowing it to be heard from the player in the living room.
rafe looks over at you again, taking in the way you sat on the steps of the trailer, pen in hand as you mumble to yourself about the crossword puzzle between humming along to the music. barefoot and sitting nice and comfy on the wooden plank. oh, the luxury.
you looked so pretty, and he almost dropped whatever tool he was using when he noticed you weren’t wearing a bra. he cleared his throat, focusing all attention on the shitty state of your motor.
“baby — what in the hell did you even do to this thing?”
your head snaps up at that, pouting and tiptoeing over to him, paper abandoned on the steps. you ignored his protests of heading inside to put on some shoes, stepping over rocks and weeds. rafe shakes his head and leans on his arms as he stares down the engine, praying to whatever will listen to magically tell him what the problem was.
he sighs when your arm snakes around his waist and turns to press a kiss to the top of your head that rests on his arm. your touch was a brief reprieve from the hot sun and difficult task.
“s’that bad?” you mumble, voice meek.
god, he would do anything to make that sad little tone vanish. but he can’t lie to you, not about this. no matter how much he knows you adore this car.
he hums, giving the engine a once over before looking over at you, “well, it— it ain’t great… gonna have to probably replace most of it if y’wanna keep it.”
the whine you let out makes an amused grin form on his lips. you both know you couldn’t afford to replace even half of it.
“well— can’t y’just— just—“
“ohhh, when did you become a mechanic, sugar?”
he whistles lowly at your glare, wrapping his arm firmly around your neck and pulling you in. the sensation of being pressed against his chest, his bicep pressing into your cheek makes a lick of heat shoot up your spine.
“don’t get an attitude w’me, a’ight?” he drawls into your hair, leaving that familiar heat to settle in your tummy. you knew better but whined incoherently, a babble of ‘but— but— daddy—‘. it might cost you some of his softness, but it was just so satisfying to hear him get just a little meaner.
“no, stop poutin’— dad’s doin’ this f’you on his off day, show some gratitude. there is nothin’ else i can do ‘bout the fuckin’ thing, ‘kay?”
he wished there was more to do for the vehicle, but it was about time. hell, you’ve had that thing longer than he could remember. you never were good at admitting he was right, though.
he sighs and shifts to wrap his arms tight around your waist, lifting you slightly on your toes. your hands immediately find his chest and you lean your forward against him, pouting still as his lips meet your temple. you stare at the car, feeling betrayed by something you considered your baby.
all things must come to end, or whatever the hell the saying is. you honestly found that to be complete bullshit as rafe runs a hand over your hip, fingers lightly caressing the skin between the fabric and your jean shorts. his touch was almost soothing.
“poor sweet girl…” his lips press against your ear, a teasing whisper, “what’m i gonna do with you, hmm?”
you huff, maybe a bit dramatically, and turn your head to gaze up at him. rafe chuckles softly at your expression, if anyone else did such a thing, it might’ve felt patronizing. but not him, not your rafe.
you can’t resist a little grin, hiding your face in his chest. he always made you fold too quickly. he coos and it makes you feel fuzzy all over. with a finger under your chin, he lifts your head up to press a sweet kiss to your lips. his are a little chapped and his scruff is starting to tickle your face but you don’t care, needing the comfort of your big, strong man desperately in this moment. his large palms trail down your body to settle and squeeze at your ass.
rafe smiles against your mouth, that tilt of his lips making your own rise. soon enough, you’re giggling and unable to kiss him back. he doesn’t care and presses closer, swallowing those precious little sounds.
he lifts you, hands throwing you up and over his shoulder. he smirks at your squeal and closes the hood with one arm, the other holding you snuggly on his shoulder.
“rafe cameron, you put me down!”
“nuh — uh. think it’s time you thank me, yeah?”
with a smack to the swell of your ass, he walks up the three steps to your shared trailer, already planning on taking you to shower with him. the screen door shuts with a slam and your laughter echoes into the dusty streets of your little neighborhood.
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soobnny · 6 months ago
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dating him | lee know
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❝ come over, the cats miss you ❞
chan | LEE KNOW | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin
if he wasn’t a menace before (impossible btw), he sure as hell is now
this man is relentless
teasing as his love language
just loves riling you up bc he thinks ur reactions are so cute
and he smirks a lot too
if he wasn’t so damn attractive, u would’ve wiped that smirk off his face !!!!!
“wait min, i got a text”
“nice to know you have friends”
u hate him 😭😭😭😭😭
he’s such a little shit that he’s even rilling u up during ur dates
like
laser tag games where he kisses you to distract you before taking you out
HE’S SO MEAN
he’d push you against the wall with a sly smirk and you think you won’t fall for it again, but you do
every single time
u should’ve known better
this is lee “resident cheater in all possible games” minho
anyways
he is also an ass lover ❤️❤️❤️
i’m sorry but u cannot go into a relationship with him without expecting him to always have his hand on ur ass in some way
so in short
the trope is giving u thought he was out of ur league but he’s actually a weirdo
so now u’re dating the Weird Kid
(u wouldn’t want it any other way)
his other love language is acts of service
i said in my chan one that minho also gives Chief Hong from hometown cha3
like tell me i’m wrong
man wife #2
he is ur personal handyman
he’s just good at everything
will most probably only do it for u tho
seungmin: hyung can u fix my sink
minho: no
seungmin catching strays 😂😂
you: babe—
minho: what do you need me to do now
he says it in fake annoyance too
but he’s got his tools in his hand already ready to do whatever u want
obsessed i tell u
he drives u around too
if you have an event, a party, a project, anywhere you need to be
he’ll drive u there
he always makes time
AND he picks you up too like shut up
it could be a party that finishes at 2am and he’s just waiting for your call to pick you up
sometimes, you tell him he can just sleep early bc your friend will give you a ride home
when you get home, look … he’s still awake
he’s been waiting for you to come home this whole time to make sure you’re safe
BUT he doesn’t say anything
the moment he sees you’re alive and breathing (and doesn’t need taking care of), he’s on his way to the bedroom to sleep
when u look around, he’s done the chores already
he just does things to lessen the load that u might have u know
if u’re so stressed with anything, he’d silently clean up ur room or bring u food
so u don’t have to think about that anymore
also the best chef in town btw
he likes cooking together
and by cooking together i mean like he does all the work and u just stay there and keep him company
he can’t risk ur clumsy ass injuring urself
comforts u thru his cooking too
would baby u and feed u when u’re sad
his favorite dates with u are quiet, homemade dinners
just likes being with u and u only
away from everyone else
as niki would say, i don’t like anyone except sometimes you
it’s in moments like those that he just unwinds and shows u his softer sides
he’s honestly just so gentle and soft
he looks at u with stars in his eyes
ugh such an attentive listener too
sometimes u think he isn’t listening, but he’s got it all memorized
“yeah u mentioned it on our date 3 months ago”
like damn
anyways, moving on
his pet names for u give olden times
honey, darling, jagi
but also loser, idiot, stupid girl (endearingly)
so u two are giving me old married couple
u’d both wake up early and have coffee or tea together and just talk abt anything
also this is far into the future but like
sneak peek at minho as ur husband
i think u two would be the type to have a garden
like gardening would be ur little hobby
he grows fruits and vegetables
u beg to grow flowers
OK BACK TO BOYFRIEND MINHO
randomly sending selfies thru the day
THOSE selfies
u know what i’m talking abt
forces u to send selfies back
(ur photos are all saved and hidden in his phone but he will never tell u that)
oh u’ve also become his cats’ mom btw
one of ur favorite errands to do is going grocery shopping for his cats
u’d always end up buying them a gift
“u’re the reason my cats are spoiled”
SUUUUUUURE minho suuuuuuure
cat fashion shows
like dress to IMPRESS
(btw idk why but i feel like u could force him to play roblox with u)
he also uses his cats to lure u to visit him btw
“soonie misses u, u’re being a bad mother”
it’s just him who misses u let’s be real
and if ur favorite thing to do with him is cat shopping, his is walking by the han river with you
he loves walking
esp when it’s with you
just a peaceful walk tbh like yall don’t even have to say anything
tho sometimes when he’s feeling playful, he’d suddenly play tag with you
ends with both of u just sitting by the river and looking at the lights and the stars and holding hands or maybe ur head on his shoulder
damn wish that were me fr
when u go home, u watch some variant of a trashy reality tv show together
u’ve basically seen it all
but if anyone were to ask u what happened in those shows, yall wouldn’t know
u two were too busy just making out instead of paying attention
or falling asleep
old married couple i’m telling u
expect to also be dragged into his camping
when he has particularly long days off, he’d propose going camping together
ah, the beauty of warm bonfires and quiet conversations
he’d take good care of you the whole time
like yessss do your job as a man and fix up this entire camping site
and he does
tho, aside from camping, he’d also suggest hiking to take in the view of the mountains and the pretty sky
u’d wake up early on both occasions just to watch the sun rise
in contrast to these very productive activities, sometimes minho also just loves lazy sundays where you just cuddle for the entirety of the day
what more could he want
u and his cats with him
that’s honestly just the dream
good luck cat mom
have fun acting like an old married couple with lee know
he is the dream man
nonchalant to anyone else except u
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note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
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7ndipity · 3 months ago
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Jimin, about Jungkook: I could fix him, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier
Jin: that's what god probably thinks about me
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fictionalreads · 6 months ago
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This Was Never Meant to Be What It Feels Like
A/N: Hey y'all! I'm not really a writer so this is my first time posting any writing here on Tumblr, but I'm apparently incapable of not thinking about Armando (*Whatta Man by Salt-N-Pepa plays in my head) so this kind of...happened. I figured I'd share ☺️ Also, I know Armando thinks Aretas is his dad in the movies but I changed it a bit.
Title is from Satisfaction by SiR (if you haven't heard it do yourself a favor and go listen)
Pairing: Armando Aretas x Original Female Character
Fandom: Bad Boys Movies
Prompt: Shay (OC) wants to get to know Armando better and figures her best bet is to ask when he's...relaxed.
Warnings ⚠️: Uh...complicated parental relationships. Talk of smut, but no actual smut.
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“Tell me something.”
“Hm?”
Shay kept her focus on drawing invisible shapes on Armando’s shoulder with her finger. Her blue stiletto shaped nails going down almost to his elbow before finding its way back up to his collar bone. It was something she did often after they had sex and she knew it calmed him much like it was now. His breathing had slowed into something calmer than the frantic breaths of ten minutes ago when he was trying to catch his breath. The open window blew in a decent ocean breeze, adding to the peaceful feeling in her bedroom. She tried to play it cool, like she wasn’t disturbing the moment, wasn’t asking him to do the one thing she knew he hated - opening up.
Shay had been seeing Armando for about three months now, and she knew next to nothing about the man. She knew it was a red flag, hell she knew he probably wasn’t a law abiding citizen, but she couldn’t help it. 
There was something so magnetizing, so sensual about his presence. He commanded attention even though she got the feeling he wanted nothing more than to blend in and be lowkey. She couldn’t help but notice the way he held himself, the way he spoke and moved with the confidence of a man who was sure of himself. Don’t get her started on the way he smelled - it was divine and pure man.
The point was basically this - he was a ten but he refused to tell her more about himself.
Shay was determined to get to know him better, because despite playing things close to his chest, she was in love with him. She didn’t know his last name, but she knew he would bring her flowers and food if she was having a bad day just to make her smile. She didn’t know what he did for a living - honestly, part of her was glad for this if it was illegal as she was imagining. Plausible deniability. - but she knew if she needed him to, he would fix anything she needed him to or at least find someone who could. She didn’t know what his crucible entailed that made him like this, but she knew he loved her like she was something precious.
So she was taking the risk that this would blow up in her face. “Tell me something about you that I don’t know.” She kissed his chest, like she was softening the blow of the question. Not that she needed to, it was an open ended question on purpose. The more freedom she gave about the topic, the more likely he was to answer.
He gently shifted her to the pillow as he lifted himself on his elbow, facing her with a suspicious look on his face. “Like what?” God, what she wouldn’t give to take whatever hurt that made him so distrustful of her just wanting to know him away. Who had betrayed him? Who took advantage of his trust and made him so wary of genuine love?
She thought over her answer, a million topics coming to mind but needing to pick one that wouldn’t have him shutting down immediately. Armando had let the conversation start but he could end it if she said the wrong thing.
“Your family.” She could feel him pulling away as if it was physically happening so she quickly explained her choice. “Did you grow up with siblings? Are your parents married?” Bare minimum. 
It seemed to have worked he looked at her as if debating what to say, if anything, before laying back down and staring at the ceiling. The relaxed man that was in her bed mere minutes ago, gone. Now he was tense, as if ready for a fight. She slowly and obviously resumed her previous position on his chest, giving him time to tell her no if he needed the space. Her nails went back to their drawings in the hopes of calming him enough to talk. He took a breath before, “I grew up an only child. My mom was my world, she taught me everything I knew.”
Her nails stopped moving. “Was?” It was the word that caught the most of her attention out of everything he just said.
“She passed away a few years ago.” His face was blank, as if he was just stating a fact of life rather than talking about the death of the person that raised him and whom he clearly loved.
Shay rubbed the shoulder she wasn’t laying on in an effort to comfort him.“I’m sorry to hear that.” Armando shrugged it off but she could tell it still hurt him. “What about your dad?”
“Our relationship is…complicated at best. He wasn’t around for most of my life. We were introduced a few months before my mom died. I didn’t even know who he was to me until my mom told me on her deathbed.” 
“You never asked your mom about him before?”
“If there was one thing I knew about my father growing up, it was that my mom hated him. She always told me that he left us behind and didn’t look back at all. As a kid I was curious but as I got older, I started to hate him too. I mean he was supposed to love my mom, and he turned on her and left me behind like I was trash. Fuck ‘im. Now I know it wasn’t so black and white.”
“How so?”
“The few times my mom spoke about him, she always heavily implied that he knew she was pregnant with me and left anyway. Looking back, she never said the words. When I confronted my father about it, he said they were a doomed couple that wasn’t ever going to last. They were both too selfish. Said he didn’t even know she had been pregnant until we met.”
“Sounds like he cares. I mean if he knew do you think he would have been around?”
“There’s no doubt in my mind he would have been there, raised me. I know he loves me, that he just wants what’s best for me, but I’m just having a hard time accepting it. I spent so much time hating him that reconciling this truth with this perception I’ve always had of him is hard.”
“Not to mention it means confronting that you didn’t know your mom as well as you thought you did. The woman she was to you isn’t the woman she was to others.”
“And she’s not here to explain it, which just makes me mad all over again. He’s usually the target of my anger.”
“Makes sense to me.” She shrugged in response to his questioning look. “He’s here. Add in the fact that he wasn’t there for so long its easy to blame him for a lot.”
“Yeah,” he agreed.
Like a flip had been switched, he once again moves her onto the bed and hovers over her.
“Enough about them. Talking is not exactly what I had in mind for us tonight,” he pleads. 
She could see the desperation and fear in his eyes. She had a feeling that being that honest with her scared him. He wasn’t exactly the vulnerable type and telling her all this put him on display in the most raw way, an unknown for him. It also meant he had to be honest with himself about he felt, something she didn’t think happened a lot. He wanted to escape the real hurt he was feeling about it all, he didn’t want to face what the truth might mean for his memory of his mother. If a reprieve is what he needed, she could do that for him. She would do that for him.
She bit her bottom lip, looking at him through her lashes, feeling herself get wet at his suggestive tone and slight touches. “What did you have in mind?”
❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
The next morning she woke up alone, his side of the bed cold. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence as he often left before she woke. She was used to him leaving and coming back randomly, sometimes being gone for days. After their conversation and the way he seemed to just need her last night, she figured this was coming. Something told her him leaving was different this time, that she had pushed him too far. She had the sickening feeling that he wasn’t coming back.
Round two had been fast and rough, needy in a way. Round three had been teasing and playful, like he was apologizing for being so rough before. Round four was…slow and passionate, reverent almost.
It felt like a goodbye.
A/N: 🫣So how'd I do? Let me know in the comments. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated! OH AND HOW SHOULD I TAG THIS?! Anything I should add to get more people to see it?
Part 2 Part 3
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incorrect-upon-a-witchlight · 4 months ago
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Gideon, about Kremy: I could fix him, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier.
Torbek: That's what any god probably thinks about Torbek
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luciosfanpage · 1 year ago
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"I could fix him but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier"
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bomber-grl · 1 year ago
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Date night
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10:00 P.M
You run as fast as you can, leaping off buildings and almost slipping on the fast falling snow. You know you can’t keep this up forever, and you know, one wrong move, and it’s game over.
Robin is quick on your heels and with the cold, almost burning air that hits across your face and how difficult it is to breathe in, you’re sure you’ll get caught in no time.
Finally you stop and slide across one of the rooftops of what you can only assume is an apartment building.
“Hey Robin, I know we’re like arch enemies or whatever but I’m running a little late to my date so how about we make this quick?”
Robin usually loves to be your complete opposite, however to your surprise he says “I agree” and goes to kick you. If it weren’t for your quick reaction time by using your fore arms to shield yourself you know you would’ve been toast, still it might leave a bruise.
“What’s with the sudden compliance? Don’t tell me you’re already falling for my charms? You ask this feigning surprise.
“Don’t kid yourself, if anything your best feature is your fighting. He goes to use his spear but you counter with your own.
“Oh? So you admit I’m good?” You can see the disgust spread across his face and you take this opportunity to slash him across the face with your dagger, only that you barely managed to knick him in the chin.
He staggers back but is quick to recover, he pushes against you and pins you down. “I honestly can’t help but wonder why you care much, it’s almost like you’re falling for me.”
With your current position with your back against the wall and how you’re pinned up by him, you can’t pass the opportunity. “You’re right Robin, I think I really am falling for you.”
he lets you go with disgust blatant on his face but when you smirk he realizes this was all a ploy. With the golden opportunity to escape you take a swan dive off the building, the only imagine is of him peaking over the ledge watching you plummet into the darkness of the cold dark night.
-
11:30 P.M
You practically barge into the small cozy diners front doors, the atmosphere very much contrasting that of the windy coldness outside. You quickly spot Damian and make your way over to him where’s he’s seated, setting your things down and taking a seat, still panting.
“Finally, I was starting to think you wouldn’t make it, that not really a good impression to make, especially on the first date [l/n]” he teases.
You initially met Damian while at Gotham academy and while he wasn’t what you’d describe as a ray of sunshine, he was still amazing. He always seemed like an untouchable guy and you were so late to a once in a life time date that others would kill for, all because of that Robin!
“I know I know, I’m so sorry Damian!!” You take a seat, fixing your disheveled clothes and patting down your hair. “What’s with you? You seem like you got hit with a tornado or something?” He smiles.
“Sorry!! I uhh fell asleep while reading a book so I was rushing!” You give an embarrassed laugh. “I’m just teasing, I barely got here myself.”
“What???” You ask pouting. “Sorry sorry, I was just busy with useless rich people things, as you like to put it.” He says this obviously referring to that once time where you told him rich people don’t do anything.
“Hey! No fair!” Before the two of you could continue your discussion a waitress came up to your table and began taking your orders.
After the waitress left, you started feeling the diners warmth was a little too warm, especially with your large jacket. You took off your jacket and set it aside, rolling up your long sleeve shirt.
You were about to tell Damian something random that came to mind before you noticed something. On Damian’s chin there was a faint scratch, almost like the one you gave Robi-
No no no, no way, there’s just no way Damian could be robin. Damian is incredible, he’s so nice to be around, and gosh is he hot.
Not that Robin isn’t
What the hell were you thinking-
You suddenly feel Damian’s fingers glide across your fore arm. “What happened?” He asks as he looks up at you expectantly.
“Huh?” You look down and low and behold the bruise that Robin gave you with his kick. Damn you knew it was gonna bruise.
“Oh, it’s nothing, I just fell and landed on my fore arms.” You add a couple nervous laughs and hope Damian doesn’t notice.
Soon enough your orders are served but slowly but surely more signs are showing that Damian is Robin. Soon enough it gets late and that’s when you decided to make your move.
“Look ro-Damian, I really need to get going so-“ and with that you practically bolt to the door, however as your hand lands on the handle you feel a hand rest on your shoulder.
You slowly turn around, however before you can react you hear one sentence that makes you feel chills run down your spine.
“Are you [v/n]?”
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Part 2?
V/n: villian name, l/n: last name
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Link, about Revali: I could fix him, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier.
Zelda: That’s what Hylia probably thinks about me.
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justatalkingface · 6 months ago
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I JUST FREAKING REALIZED SOMETHING!!!
Aizawa didn’t get into the hero course until his second year and was bullied by Sensoji for being a waste of space.
And Sensoji's actions were justified.
Now stick with me here.
Isn’t it a bit odd how Bakugou's behavior was justified? And I don't mean just in a favoritism way.
Despite how much he was willing to bash Class 1-A, Hitoshi didn't seem to acknowledge Aizawa favoring Bakugou. Not once. This is odd as he was there when Aizawa openly defended Bakugou during the Sports Festival. And you'd think Aizawa would correct Hitoshi's opinions on Class 1-A, but he doesn't.
And with how Aizawa made the battle between both hero courses focus on Hitoshi...
I'm sorry. Correct me if I'm wrong but...
Was Aizawa setting things up for Hitoshi to become like him? Was Bakugou going to be set up to be another Sensoji that Hitoshi had to face off?
Because if the war didn't happen...Hitoshi was going to be in Class 1-A way earlier.
...I don't think Eraserhead is self-aware enough to plan something like, which is saying something because even more self-awareness would tell him how stupid it is, but...
It's hard to get past the fact that, fundamentally, he's a hollow shell of a man. In all likelihood, he was a mess before Oboro, but after he died? I think something just... broke inside him.
This isn't really something I talk about, but at the core of him, Eraserhead is someone going through the motions, just existing one day at a time. He doesn't seem to have... goals. Objectives. Plans. Desires. Dreams. All he really has is his work, and he's not really doing his work well, is the thing. The first thing he does after getting life altering injuries is go back to work the next day, held together by staples and a prayer. Logically, that not only put back his healing, it might have actually worsened how much permanent damage he had.
He works day and night, and it's clear he's not managing his time well by his constant exhaustion, so most likely if he's not doing UA stuff, or being dragged around by his friends, he's off fighting crime. I mean, hell, he barely even eats.
He doesn't shave, he doesn't clean up, he doesn't get his hair cut... all of that stuff is because he probably doesn't have the energy or will to do it, and, real talk? I honestly wonder if he's so skinny because he's malnourished in some form, because those jelly packets or whatever can't actually be meeting all his nutritional needs, especially with how much energy he has to be burning every day.
I think the main reason Present Mic and Midnight got him to join UA was to save his life. Not from a major threat or anything, but from himself. With him at UA, they could dial him back, stop him from running around picking fights and parkouring across roofs 24/7, and maybe even get a real meal in him.
All of the stuff I've been talking about... 'logically', doesn't that ruin his vaulted 'efficiency'?
When Eraserhead says, 'efficiency', or 'logically', or whatever other word he uses to sound smart, he doesn't really mean, 'doing it in the best way possible', even if he's lying to himself that he is; what he's actually saying is 'doing it the most simple and straightforward way possible, right now'. If he thinks a student is too much trouble, rather than trying to fix the problem he just gets rid of them, and if they manage to pull themselves together after he does that? All the better.
The reverse, though, is as long as they aren't too much of a problem, then they're not actually worth punishing, not unless he's basiclly forced to: he doesn't let Bakugou run wild because he likes him, really, he does it because he doesn't think dealing with him is worth his time, the same way he lets Minoru be a creepy little pervert without really doing anything to make him stop, until he finally crosses the line enough that Eraserhead has to be involved, like by putting a kid in danger. The reason his only comment when he holds Bakugou back that first time is about his dry eye is that honestly, that was all he actually cared about: not that he was attacking other students, but that Bakugou was making him do extra work.
It's why the few times we see him actually deal with a student's problems (that weren't his favorite, anyways) is when he was already doing something else involving them in the first place, because if he's already there, working with them, might as well do this other shit, right?
It's only efficient.
To bring it back to your original point, though, I think part of the reason he's such a hypocrite is he doesn't really reflect on himself, or his actions. While he does think on the past, it's not anything productive, it's just him... wallowing in his grief and self loathing.
The reason Hitoshi was the main focus was because, well, Hitoshi was Eraserhead's main focus, so he wanted him to get a lot of the experience everyone else had been having as fast as possible, and beyond that I don't think he was thinking through the implications beyond that.
I've found a lot of Eraserhead's actions make sense if you ignore everything he says, and instead draw a metaphorical straight line between him and whatever it is that he wants to do. It's not deep, it's just so OOC for a normal thought process that it throws you off.
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enby-trash-rat · 9 months ago
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Logan, about Remus: I could fix them, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier.
Janus: That's what any god probably thinks about me.
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sacrificialcat · 8 months ago
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i could fix him, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier.
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fizziepopangel · 6 months ago
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"Ain't the Romantic Type"
* Author's note: Heyyyyyy everyone! I'm back with another fic, and let me just say that I'm really excited about this one because I'm honestly pretty proud of it. I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I do!
p.s. As always, you can always use the Fic Request Form to request something specific, and be sure to keep an eye out for part two of this fic since it'll be coming soon!😋❤️
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“He just ain't the romantic type….” The words rang in Husk's mind as he stood in front of the mirror in Angel's room, adjusting his jacket for what he knew must've been the millionth time. He felt ridiculous; he hadn't been dressed up like this since he sold his soul, and after having gotten used to his usual attire, it felt wrong for him to be all dressed up.
Lost in his reflection, he almost hadn’t noticed Fat Nuggets by his feet with a worried expression. “Oink!" Fat Nuggets bumped his head gently against the hell cat's leg.
"What's wrong?” Husk stared at the pig, who didn't do much but stare back at him. "Don't look at me like that! You think I don't know I look fuckin’ ridiculous. I know it!” The pig snorted softly, bumping Husk’s leg again. " Look, I ain't got time for your pig crap right now, Angel’s gonna be back soon and I gotta make sure everything is perfect so… I don't know, go do whatever it is pigs do.”
Rather than leaving, the little pig sat down, oinking and snorting again. Husk groaned, annoyed as he leaned down to look at the little creature.  “Look, I’m gonna level with you, Nuggets, I gotta do this for Angel. Ok, so I need you to shut up and be supportive.” When the pig just stared at him, oinking in a way that sounded like he was almost annoyed himself. “He deserves this, right? You know he deserves this so just behave yourself tonight.”
Before the pig could make his oink-y little argument, the pair heard the keys jingle in the door. Husk immediately straightened up, fixing his nice jacket again and grabbing the bouquet of flowers he’d left on the coffee table beside the nice meal he had prepared for them, taking his place in front of the door quickly and putting on a smile just in time to see Angel open his door.
Angel steps into his room looking ragged, his bag from the club in his hand. It had been a shitm night, filled with more abuse from Valentino than usual, and a mess of men who did horrible things to him. He just wanted to go home and wash off the blur of the night before curling up in bed and hopefully getting some sleep… But as he turned around, he was met with Husk, smiling in his dress jacket with a bouquet of pink red and pink roses as he stood in front of a nice little candlelit meal on the coffee table. Angel stared at the sight in front of him, his lip trembling before tears began streaming down his face.
Husk was thrilled at first, his pride swelling until he realized that those tears were turning to sobs as he watched as his boyfriend sank to his knees in front of him. The proud smile he wore just moments before quickly turned to a look of horror.
 
“Angel? Babe, what’s wrong?” Husk did his best to keep the panic out of his voice, but he was terrified. He had talked to the sappiest person he knew (Charlie of course), and he had done hours of research online to make this night as romantic and perfect as he could, and as he glanced back at the scene he had set behind him, worried. “Did I do something wrong? Is…is this not romantic enough?”
Sobbing was the only response Husk got.
Fat Nuggets squealed and oinked, running to his owner and nuzzling into him in an attempt to comfort him.
“I can’t do this!” Angel sobbed raggedly. “I can’t, I can’t, I cant!”
Husk’s heart nearly stopped at the words. He and Angel had been dating for nearly a year and a half and he had thought everything was going well; decent dates, good sex, and amazing conversations and he had been trying his damndest not to fuck this up because he always seemed to fuck up the good relationships he landed himself in; always ended up hurting good people…. He took a breath, trying to keep himself from sinking deeper into that pit of panic. He knew he wouldn’t be any good to Angel if he started spiraling too.
“Angelcakes?” Husk’s gruff voice is gentler than he usually spoke, though it still shook slightly as he took a step toward his sobbing partner, a hand outstretched in an offering of comfort. “Angelcakes, baby, can you–”
“Don’t fucking touch me!” The scream that ripped from Angel’s throat was almost guttural and he scrambled away from his boyfriend’s touch, recoiling as if he were disgusted by the thought of being in his arms despite the spider demon’s usual love for physical affection. 
In an act of defense, Fat Nuggets placed himself in front of his beloved owner, staring at Husk as if daring him to come closer… But Husk just stood there, frozen as his boyfriend cowered away from him, trembling and sobbing so hard he could hardly breath. And that the scene everyone walked into when Vaggie slammed the door open….
Read the next part here: Part 2
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lu-twilight-is-best-boy · 2 years ago
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Legend, about Ravio: I could fix him, but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier.
Warriors: That's what any god probably thinks about me.
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queen-of-deans-booty · 1 year ago
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Right After All: Part Two
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Word Count: ~1.3k
Warnings: dean cheats on his girlfriend just by kissing
Summary: You can't get Dean out of your mind since he kissed you. You can't get the way your twin is treating him out of your mind. He has a choice to make: you or her. Does he choose right?
read part one here: Right After All
Square Filled: pining (2022) for @spndeanbingo
Author’s Note: i appreciate any and all comments! <3
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You can’t ever look at Dean the same way again. Every time he’s over at the house with your twin, he steals secret glances and longing looks. That night at the party changed everything between you, but you haven’t done anything about it since. He hasn’t made another move on you even though he clearly wants to. It’s honestly suffocating you because you have feelings for him and it feels like he’s teasing you.
All weekend you’ve been in your room studying for your internship at the local hospital. It starts in a couple of weeks and you want to be prepared for whatever they’re gonna throw at you. It’d be embarrassing if they threw a curveball at you and you stumbled over your words or got it wrong. It’s grueling work but you’re going to save a lot of lives with it.
That’s the only thing that matters.
Suddenly, your bedroom door opens and your twin walks in wearing something revealing. She must be going out with Dean. She has a tendency to use her body to get what she wants.
“Where are you going dressed like that?”
“The Bunker for a barbecue. You’re coming with me,” she says and finishes fixing her hair.
“Since when do you go to barbecues?”
“Since I’ve been wanting to go on a vacation to Spain,” she smirks.
Of course. She’s only going to get something in return. God forbid she goes just to spend time with Dean and get to know him. It hurts knowing he’s being mistreated and there is nothing you can do about that. You sigh, cap your highlighter, and close your textbook to give her your undivided attention.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“What?”
“Dean doesn’t have a lot of money as it is, and you’re only going to this to convince him to take you on a vacation halfway around the world?”
“Why are you judging me?” she scoffs.
“Did you know he doesn’t like flying? He’s terrified of it.”
Clarissa stares at you without a care in the world. She flips her hair over her shoulder and walks out of your bedroom.
“Get dressed. We’re both going.”
The last time you and Dean were in a room full of people with alcohol, he kissed you because he saw your tattoo behind your ear. Your sister is too scared of needles and pain to get a tattoo, otherwise, you’d get matching ones with her. For this event, you decide to cover your tattoo with makeup and after doing that, you get changed into a floral print dress that flows just past your knees.
The Bunker has always been a mystery to you since you’ve heard countless stories but have never seen it. When you get there, you’re shocked by how desolate the area is. The building is big but there are no bright trees or anything stimulating to look at. There is an empty field next to it that isn’t being used, but there is a certain charm to it.
“This is it?” Clarissa scrunches her face up.
“I think it’s cool and mysterious.”
“It’s dirty.”
“Behave, please.”
You two get out of the car and walk down the stone steps to the front door. You knock on it and wait a minute before Dean opens the door. He smiles when he sees you, and you could have sworn you see the smile faltering a bit when he looks at Clarissa.
“Glad you could come. Everyone else is already inside.” Clarissa walks past him first and then you, and he notices the empty spot right behind your ear where your tattoo used to be. He chuckles to himself but decides not to say anything about it. “Kitchen is off to the right.”
“Wow, this place is amazing!” you gasp and look around in amazement.
“Looks ancient. Have you ever thought about modernizing it?” Clarissa asks.
“This is how we found it. We don’t have any desire to change it.” Dean leads you two to the kitchen where his friends and Sam are chatting. “Guys, this is my girlfriend Clarissa and her twin, Y/N. Girls, you know Sam. Meet Eileen, Sam’s girlfriend, Charlie, Rowena, Gabriel, Castiel, and Jack.”
Introductions are exchanged as Dean gets to cooking. This isn’t a normal barbecue because it’s all indoors but the energy is the same as one. As Dean is cooking, Clarissa slinks up to his side and sweet-talks him knowing she is going to get what she wants before she leaves. You can’t bear to watch her manipulate him so you decide to break off from the group and explore on your own.
You leave the kitchen and end up in the big library where there are tons of books on almost anything related to hunting. Your fingers lightly skim the spines of the books you pass until you come across a section that’s interesting. You grab the book about dragons and open up to a random page. How did you ever live your life not knowing these kinds of creatures existed side-by-side with you?
“You know,” Dean’s voice interrupts your reading, “just because you covered your tattoo, doesn’t mean I can’t tell the difference between you and your twin.”
You jump slightly at his voice and turn to him with the book still in your hand. This is dangerous territory so you decide to immediately change the topic.
“This is all very impressive. I never knew things like these existed.”
“Dragons are tricky,” Dean says and walks toward you. “They like to snack on virgins.”
“Then I guess I’m safe,” you chuckle and put the book back where you found it. This is where you notice how close Dean is standing to you, and how much room you have to avoid him. “Maybe we should get back to the party.”
“We have about twenty minutes. Sam’s telling his ‘I-saved-a-bus-full-of-people’ story.” You chuckle nervously and lick your dry lips. “Do I make you nervous?”
“Yes, yes you do.”
You look into his green eyes and glance at his lips. Seeing how plump they are is enough to make you part your own slightly.
“Fuck,” he mumbles to himself.
He grabs both sides of your face and pulls you into him. He pins you to the bookshelves and kisses you like he’s been wanting to since the first time he has. This time, you allow yourself to get immersed in the kiss. Both your lips move in harmony with each other, and he slides his tongue across your bottom lip.
This time, you give him access.
Your brain processes what’s happening and sends off red alarm bells that you listen to. You pull away from Dean and lightly push on his chest to give yourself some distance from him.
“This isn’t a good idea,” you pant.
“Why not?”
“You’re with my sister.” You take three big steps away from him. He doesn’t have anything to say about that. “Look, I’m not going to ask you to choose. I’d never ask you to do something like that, but I can’t kiss you knowing you’re with someone else.”
You quickly leave the library and rejoin everyone in the kitchen. No one seems to notice how long you’ve been gone or what you’ve been up to. Sam just finished his hero story and everyone praises him for the work he did to save those people.
“You got a nice collection of books,” you speak up and cross the kitchen to join his side.
“You’re more than welcome to borrow one if you’d like.”
“Thank you. I saw a book about dragons and I was curious.”
“Yeah, dragons are tricky creatures.”
Dean walks into the kitchen as if he has to run out real quick. You can’t seem to meet his eye as you grab a snack to eat. Clarissa slinks up to his side and kisses his cheek while running her hand over his clothed chest.
“Why don’t you show me to your room?” she giggles.
You look up and lock eyes with Dean. In that one moment, no one else mattered but the two of you. No one else existed but you two. Then he breaks eye contact and does something that makes you realize that he’s either comfortable in his relationship or he doesn’t like you as much as you think he does.
He walks away.
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