#i cant hold myself back anymore

[freckledjoes]

I know, I know. It's not Quinn, but it's KEERY.

The first Keery post on here, but won't be the last~

[averageludwig]

I need to get this out of my system or i will blow up. LIKE DAMN.. DAMN. LIKE OKAY. Like damn. Like. Tears in my eyes . fistful of hair . rocking back and forth . damn. He is ruining my life. Guys on the count if 3 throw the biggest rock at me. I need to be stoned there is no cure to this. goodnight cruel world.

[crustyfloor]

THE ALIEN GRIPPING HIS HAIR I'M GOING TO KILL THEMMMMM

[sorrowsaint]

its quiet. its really dark in here. my eyes are closed and i tied my sweater around my head for good measure. its so cramped. its okay. im okay.

@mirrormannequin

listen.

[bunnihearted]

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

[phagodyke]

the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍

[radiotorn]

ignore this post for me iim having a moment

[barksback]

one day i’ll properly write the last convo jake had with his mom before being yoinked. one day .

[dragonji]

have to be honest guys its actually going Really Badly again.

[pathologising]

sorry i need to stop glamourizing my own anorexia but that really was my peak unfortunately. so i think i should either kill myself or die in an expressed fashion

[hy2ka]

my mom did smth tonight and then my dad texted me to tell me he cut some fruit for me and left it on the table outside. just. really showed me just how different they are in caring for me. my dad actually tries to be compassionate and my mom will force me to do things her way regardless of what i say.

[meateater-rabbit]

(dont read the tags actually)

[jacqcrisis]

It's extremely frustrating finally feeling ready to start HRT but not wanting to have to stop a few months into it because my state wants to be Florida 2: The Midwest's Revenge so fucking badly.

[therosevest]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

[hella1975]

HELAL

I have a lot of stuff running through my mind rn and im in a hurry and idk if its going to make sense but oh well.

(its list anon and I have another thing to add to my 'favorite things about finding myself in Hellas circle of existence list thing)

The thing is how much your personality sinks through into your writing and blog thing.

Let me explain,

I lost internet for a few days and I just got it back and was scrolling through tumblr and noticed one of my mutuals reblog something of yours and I was like 'I havent been on the internet for like four days, I wonder what Hella has been up to.' and so I started stalking you (as one does) and like scrolling through your blog and everything and I came across the post you thinged about your hometown and about how shameful you are about your writing and that sent me into a spiral because I know the feeling and couldnt put it into words and I felt so called out.

Thats besides the point.

I had this thing to add to the list for a while and couldn't figure out how to explain it without seeming weird so Im just doing my best here.

It's like when you post things about the things that go on in your mind. I touched on this in my first list thingy with the whole 'when you post little snippets of whats going on in your mind and turn it into what I can only describe as poetyry' part. It's simular but it's not the same.

It's really easy to see someone and follow someone who is so eloquent and brilliant and hold them close to divinity and think about how untouchable they are, which seems weird because I'm on Tumblr of all places. But like when you follow your favorite authors on twitter or instagram and they seem almost inhuman. And sometimes it feels like being that talented is so unattainable because you're not them, you can't spew out flawless lines of words seemingly effortlessly and you cant come up with a plot that clever and even if you can't you can't give the story justice because you're not that good of a writer.

Even other writers on this site are like this and so...ethereal almost. I've mentioned before how a lot of other writer almost run their blog like a business and everything and you scroll through them and see people constantly sending them asks about their works and sending them fanart and people obsessing over their art and like I said it seems unattainable for your average person. Like I dont get that so maybe I'm not that good.

Then I come to your blog and you talk about situations I relate to and you don't hide your humanity and you talk about your classes in economics of all things and your home town and all your problems (while valid) are normal. You're more relatable than the other writers I follow at least.

I've mentioned in other asks ( I dont think they were list ones but they might have been idk ) that you inspire me a lot. This is why. Also the fact that you're my age (I'm 18) and your not in your 20s and you havent taken a decades worth of writing classes and you dont have a degree in literature. You're literally just person living a normal life. That's not to say other authors and writers arent just normal people but you just show it a lot more, idk.

Like reading things like taob and tbos and then going to your main blog and seeing the way you write your stuff in your mind and then going two posts down and your talking about normal things makes me think that maybe I can write something incredible too one day.

And the reason I have the ability to feel that way in relation to you and your stupid blog (affectionate) is because you let your normal personality show, not some robotic businessy- type personality.

That's not to say that I don't think your just an average person, average people can't describe things so rawly. But, like I said, you're not untouchable.

Based on what I see from you and what you show online, I really think that you have the potential to be great one day. Not that you should hold yourself and force yourself into a life you don't want, like if you don't want to be a famous writer, don't be. But I genuinely just hope that you grow up and find a career you're happy in.

More than anyone I see on the internet, you deserve to live a life that you absolutely love, no matter what that might be.

I said it before that I always feel really obsessive when I send asks like this, and I feel creepy, so if I come off that way I'm sorry. I just try to make it a point to tell people when I enjoy them as a person.

Also I have some songs that kind of remind me of you.

The first one if Vienna by Billy Joel. I think the chances of you not knowing this one is very slim because it's such as popular song right now. But it's my favorite song and it reminds me of you.

The other one is read all about it by Emili Sande (pt 3 is the best) I think this song is also pretty popular, it also might not be, idk. But it's one of those songs that not a lot of people that I show it to like. Idk why. The vocals are weird (in my opinion) but I love the lyrics.

If you already know these songs just ignore this part :)

ME WHEN LIST ANON:

[skeletalheartattack]

i was able to get twilight princess wii version working on the dolphin emulator. it was a little tricky though. certain actions like catching fish required me to map a specific button to do the wiimote wiggles the game wanted. also there were graphical issues that i had to download a mod or something to fix. but. other than that i was able to play it! so theres an option for ya

sadly the issue i always run into isn't gameplay-related, it's usually performance related, since my laptop is roughly from 2007 or so. most games i try to emulate that are within the range of gamecube-ps2 era (and anything beyond) usually run below double digit frames.