barksback
IRON WILL
35 posts
INSIDE ME, SOME FERAL ANIMAL CLAWS AT MY RIBCAGE, TRAPPED.
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barksback · 12 hours ago
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those who leave... [2/2]
dialogue prompts from those who leave and those who stay by elena ferrante.
you abandoned me in the most terrible period of my life.
couldn't you be more cautious?
i have to say what i think.
we have to examine our relationship and take stock.
you see what sort of life i have? are you pleased?
we're still children. we'll never grow up.
i envy you. lucky you.
it isn't the type of story for you.
you've never been interested in what i was, what i've become.
it's like a spaghetti western.
i've given you the chance to hurt me as much as possible.
why are you crying? i should be crying.
i'm glad you told me. i swear.
i'm too certain that you can do better. i want you to do better.
who am i if you're not great? who am i?
you've helped me since we were children.
without you, i'm not capable of anything.
i had prepared a positive speech. imagine --- i wrote it. i wanted to make a good impression.
you think you're so great, but everything you are, you owe to your father and mother.
i don't want to draw conclusions too hastily.
you don't love me. you've never loved me.
i don't deserve you.
i would have liked to be like you.
you'd better believe you're dead and you don't know it.
i want to remember you as you were.
i want you to see me as i am now. it's important to me.
____ would never disappear like that.
you went to the police?
the police are more fascist than the fascists.
will you do me this favor or not?
without you, i wouldn't be able to do it.
call me when you want, and i'll come running.
sit down. have a coffee and a pastry.
i've never been able to figure out what's in your mind.
what else does 'everyone' say?
i mind my own business, and you mind yours.
you always have to interfere.
here, people are murdered for a thousand reasons.
what in the world are you doing around here?
speak. otherwise, i will.
ever so often, you remember we exist.
i still think of you as a magical child.
what do you want to prove?
we're good folk here.
your flaw is that you like to talk. and when you talk, you have to exaggerate.
now do you understand the game? you remember how it works?
you have something alive in your mind that no one else has. something strong.
have you ever been in an airplane?
above the clouds, there is always fine weather.
what you have, you deserve. you got it with hard work. without hurting anyone.
where have we ended up?
i wouldn't be capable of hating you.
love, for me, comes before everything.
in the fairytales, one does what one wants. in reality, one does what one can.
you make me mad, and i say things i don't like.
speed consumes everything. as when photographs come out blurry.
i came out blurry. without clear outlines.
what happens to us all? we're like pipes when the water freezes.
you don't want to understand me.
you must be very busy.
i hate men who are too intelligent and tell me how i should be.
put it in writing, what you've said.
you're really a good girl. poor you.
you have to learn to be satisfied with yourself.
like everyone, you have your flaws and your virtues.
would you really let me read it?
let me decide if it interests me or not.
i feel like a drop of rain in a spiderweb.
you are the best and nicest person i've ever known.
eat. it's getting cold.
[name] doesn't care what i do or what i want.
what do i care about you and your pettiness?
you are extremely intelligent and stupid.
who asked you to open my eyes? to save me?
why not write each other? exchange ideas?
everything that could happen between us has happened. the rest is only complication.
you're good at hiding things from yourself.
come back. swear you'll come back.
tell me you won't forget me. tell me you won't leave me.
tell me you love me. swear that it's not a lie.
on principle, i don't say 'i love you' to anyone.
can't i have a day off?
you've had a full life without me.
you'll forget about me before you know it.
i'll go mad if i go on thinking of you.
jealousy is too much. i can't bear it.
not one of my true desires has ever prevailed.
i have always found a way of channeling every yearning.
enough. let it all explode. me, first of all.
you pretend a lot, and love little.
how inopportune you are.
luck counts more than anything.
in the face of abandonment, we are all the same.
those are false memories, and you know it.
do you understand what you've done to me?
you think it's easier for me, but it's an inferno here.
don't think that i'm not in as much trouble as you.
you and i together are stronger than anyone else.
how out of order everything is.
i don't feel like talking to you.
it's frightening here. you can't even breathe.
you're the only person i trust.
i'm leaving. i'm starting a new life.
whatever happens, i'll go with you.
i was wrong. you're a fool.
don't ever concern yourself with me again.
let me make my own mistakes.
something great is happening that will dissolve the old way of living entirely.
are you happy?
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barksback · 19 hours ago
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it’s snowing :3
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barksback · 1 day ago
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@frfld said: [ . . . ]
WATCHFUL EYES SPY FROM THE SHADOWS, feathered beast perched in the safety of jagged branches above, dark feathers almost blending in with the endless night sky, aided by the sheets of heavy rain. hard to spot, unless you knew exactly what to look for . . .
and it seems that the small man below them does, in fact, know exactly what to look for, knows exactly where to look if he wants to spot the slight sheen of feathers, the reflection of the crooked moon’s light in big, dark eyes. he stares up into the trees, past the foliage, straight at the crow. he’s been doing this a lot, coming to their cold little corner of the fog, not seeming to mind the way autumn rain soaks through his clothes, or the way the crow puffs up as they loom overhead, glaring down at would-be prey. no, the man seems perfectly content talking at the crow, telling them all sorts of things about himself and asking questions he knows he’ll never get the answers to. such a curious little creature . . .
you’re not going to say anything, are you?
the crow caws, though they don’t move from their perch. rather, they settle in some, head tilting, seemingly content to simply listen to the bizarre little survivor below them.
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barksback · 1 day ago
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just wanna say that i love how comfy cozy my dash is rn 🥰
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barksback · 2 days ago
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…  𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐈𝐍  𝐅𝐎𝐑  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐋𝐋  𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋  !  LETS  READY  UP  !  HAK  JI-WOON  ,  THE  TRICKSTER  :  WRITTEN  BY  CAS  ! 
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barksback · 3 days ago
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Do you think
on the occasion. i don’t like to overdo it
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barksback · 3 days ago
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@frfld said: [ . . . ]
HE’D HEARD - NO, READ - ABOUT IT ONLINE. hyun-ah’s facebook page, of course. a few pictures from years past, some of their her father smiling, most of them not. a few of his brother, sister, and mother standing around him. one with hyun-ah kissing their her father on the cheek as he sits up in a hospital bed, stern-faced as always. a couple of family photos. she was sure to leave jake in each one.
i never thought i’d be writing something like this so soon . . .
cancer, of course. a late-stage diagnosis, caught way too late, from their her dad’s pure stubbornness, his insistence that he was perfectly fine to keep working, that he didn’t need a doctor.
. . . we love you, dad. don’t worry about us; we’ll be okay. i just hope to keep making you proud . . .
all that fucking money to throw at whatever doctors you want, to whatever treatments you need, and the bastard just let it fester. at the initial announcement, jake had almost laughed - now he knows where his stubborn streak comes from.
. . . and if the afterlife is real, say hi to jae for me.
how can i be here for you if you won’t let me in?
‘ there’s nothing to be here for, dwight. ‘ voice is even, steady, almost casual as jake pulls from the neutral tones of his closet, tossing a few shirts that stand out the least in the general direction of the bag behind him, ignoring the way his chest aches as he reaches for the long, black coat stuffed towards the back. a thrift find from a few months ago, something he didn’t think he’d actually end up needing. he adds to to the pile. ‘ old bastard croaked. shit, i should be celebrating. ‘
when’s the last time you spoke to your father? not since before you lost your shit and went off grid, right? was it that final argument in seoul, or did you speak after? through a proxy, maybe- your mother was always relaying messages from him. he never reached out, though, not himself- not until he thought you were dead.
YOU HAVE: 27 VOICEMAILS.
only one of them had been from your father.
jae-kuk . . . ( a heaviness in his voice, in the air; he swallows thickly, gathering himself. has he been crying? ) if you’re listening . . . please. please, just come home. i know the way we parted was- was painful, but i- ( he clears his throat. his voice is strained, now. ) i love you. i know you don’t think so. but please- just come home. i can’t bear to think about what you may have done to yourse-
jake had promptly thrown their half-dead, now outdated flip phone at a tree and screamed ‘til their throat was raw.
though he doesn’t look at dwight as he turns to sort everything into his bag, they can feel the way he’s looking at them, those big, green eyes cutting right through them, brows furrowed as he tries to quietly pick at their brain. jake sighs, lets their shoulders droop for a second. ‘ i know what you’re thinking, ‘ they murmur, busying himself with folding and packing. ‘ it’s a real shitty idea, huh? yeah, i know. ‘ he turns now, finally meeting dwight’s gaze. ‘ but i need to see it. i need to see them bury him. ‘ i need to know that it’s real, that the time really has passed. i need to see them put him six feet under. ‘ it’s just a couple days. ‘ he turns again, resumes his packing. ‘ i’ll be okay, i promise. i mean- we’ve both seen worse, right? ‘
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barksback · 4 days ago
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if i survived a slasher it’s because i fucked him
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barksback · 4 days ago
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barksback · 5 days ago
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Donika Kelly, from "Handsome is", Bestiary
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barksback · 6 days ago
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HAPPY HOLLER WEENIE TUMBLR NATION
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barksback · 7 days ago
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Rafał Borcz
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barksback · 7 days ago
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cold case rewatch (24/∞)
4.16 - 'The Good-Bye Room'
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barksback · 7 days ago
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and if i made a twd(g) verse .
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barksback · 8 days ago
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@roznrot said: " where are we going to sleep? "
SOMETHING SOFT WITHIN HIM SINKS, a certain kind of sadness filling their chest as they look down into big, golden eyes. it’s a genuine question; newest survivor takes a glance around the campfire, gaze flitting this way and that, searching for creature comforts, something - anything - to make everything a little less bleak. as far as accommodations go, she’s coming up short.
‘ well, it’s weird, ‘ he starts, voice quiet and careful, ‘ because we don’t really . . . need to sleep at all. ‘ or eat. or drink water. or do any of the things that remind us that we’re human. jake studies abra for a second, taking in the droop of her shoulders and the exhaustion in her eyes. ‘ we don’t have much to offer. but if you need to rest your eyes for a minute- ‘ he’s removing his scarf and shrugging his coat off now, holding them out to abra, ‘ here. cover yourself up, keep close to the fire. napping is hard here, but you should be good for an hour or two. just remember to give my jacket back, yeah? ‘
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barksback · 8 days ago
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fire walk with me.
dialogue prompts from twin peaks: fire walk with me (1992).
make yourself at home. it's gonna be a while.
we don't need any outside help around here.
your behavior is not funny.
we have our own clock.
where are we going to sleep?
you have your own m.o., don't you?
you want to hear about our specials? we don't have any.
are you talking to me in code?
i mean exactly what i said.
i'm gonna make myself a cup of good morning america. you want some?
i've already gone places. i just want to stay where i am.
we live inside a dream.
that's not the way. i told you.
that's what i like about you. you're tough to handle.
quit trying to hold on so tight. i'm gone. long gone.
don't ever leave. i'll never leave you.
you'll be calling soon, and maybe i won't be around.
night time is my time.
why don't you get out your violin?
do you think that if you were falling in space, you would slow down after a while, or go faster and faster?
you will never be a smoker if you don't start.
i don't know when i can come back. maybe never.
what were you doing in my room?
you don't have to lie to me, ever. you can tell me anything. i will understand.
can't we talk about something serious, for a change?
because it is just a feeling, i am powerless to stop it.
i just want one friend. just for one minute.
how about one friend for the rest of your whole life?
i'm your friend no matter what way you are.
even when i just think about your face, i get happier.
where were you last night? i thought we were supposed to get together.
are you telling me there's no santa claus?
you crazy fucking canadian.
remember me? i'm your best friend.
aren't you going to fix me a drink?
when this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out.
do you think we're lucky, or just a terrible accident?
i'm as blank as a fart.
how did i get in my house? how'd i get in my bed?
life is full of mysteries, [name].
i don't want you to wear my stuff.
i love you. but i don't want you to be like me.
why doesn't somebody do something about this?
sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with all of this.
it's a school night. back by nine.
bad news, kid.
what is the world coming to?
don't get funny on me again.
let's ditch this place and party.
i'm going home to my bed. to my nice, warm bed.
raccoons remind me of my aunt, who lives in wyoming.
i'm very confused. who am i talking to?
god, why did i say that?
there's no place left to go, is there?
we have everything but everything.
let's get lost together.
open your eyes. you don't even know me.
is it future? or is it past?
where am i? and how can i leave?
you are here. now there is no place to go but home.
you're going right back to bed.
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barksback · 8 days ago
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 —- can they ... Marry like other girls? Have Children? Be Happy As They Are? ... 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍?
* 𝐑𝐎𝐙𝐍𝐑𝐎𝐓 is an independent original character blog for abra aimes, artificial angel, astral projector and lovecraftian horror. 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 * setting your wings on fire so you may fly, pretending not to love your mother, & looking for god in your own bedroom. carrd.
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