#hint: it was an argument about his dad and his brother <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[barksback]

one day i’ll properly write the last convo jake had with his mom before being yoinked. one day .

[heegyukeluv]

complementary - the physics of your body [part 1] (sjy)

pairing: brother's best friend!jake x afab!reader

synopsis: The thermodynamics of your bodies together, the sound wave of your moans, the gravity that pulled you towards each other. You were a perfect combination, the right equilibrium, complementary.

my's note: i had to break this work into two parts due to the size of it, i'm so sorry. i'll post the part 2 in a few days! my longest (and dirtiest) work lol. i used some physics concepts but funny thing hah i know nothing about physics SO PLEASE don't think too much into it... also don't know if i'd commit this much with a fic if wasn't for ari freaking out whenever I teased to add something new so please everyone say thank you ari! <3 on a side note: this is especially for her. i love you, ari 💞

warnings: mention of trauma from parents, jay is y/n’s older brother, jake is jay's best friend and three years older than the reader, physics stuff lol, reader blushing/turning red!, drama/arguments, fluff, angst a little (with happy ending!!), pet names (babe, doll, good girl...) SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!!), oral (m.), choking, jk cum inside, gag, overstimulation (m.). lmk if i missed something!

wc: 27k.

NOT PROOFREAD.

taglist 💖: @yvnempire, @marigold-sunflowers

“I know that delaying it seemed the right thing to do at the time, but I don’t think you can run away from physics anymore, kiddo.”

As your eyes rolled, annoyed with the nickname, you smacked the pizza dough into the cold marble, kneading it to make it perfectly soft. The inner core of your stomach tightened with the reminder, bringing a bitter taste on the back of your throat that made you gulp.

“I’m literally in my second year in college and you’re still calling me that.”

Your muttered words elicited an immediate laugh from Jay, your big brother, who had his body resting on the door frame while watching you across the kitchen, panicking over the fact that you would finally have to deal with your biggest fear in school, by choosing to randomly make pizza at 4pm on a thursday.

‘It helps me to destress,’ you explained once. ‘To smack something that’s not someone’s face.’

“You’d always be my kiddo,” he answered back fondly, yet with a hint of mocking, as he moved to sit at the kitchen peninsula chair. 

Jay never really raised a question over your decisions and behaviors, applauding and supporting you every time while shooting loving eyes towards you whenever you were around doing your silly little things; just like now, as he followed your movements, a bit concerned with your deep frown and how quickly your hands worked on the dough, but nearby just in case you needed some help.

Over the years, the two of you shared a strong, healthy bond, especially within the walls of the house you grew up in.

Having wealthy parents came with its perks and its drawbacks, but for you, the drawbacks often outweighed the rest. Pursuing a dream that didn’t align with your dad’s expectations felt almost like a betrayal of your family’s values, as if you were intentionally choosing to disappoint them by turning away from the prospect of becoming a doctor, lawyer, or even a future CEO of the family company.

Some would say you were crazy for challenging yourself into a rougher path, giving away the possibilities of a stable life to pursue your real dreams. However, it didn’t sound right for you to live a life without your wills being the main worry of it, forcing yourself to fit a model instead of creating your own.

Amidst the chaos you grew up in, Jay was always there to hold you close and feel proud with your achievements, protecting and looking after you.

He would drive you to your classes every morning when he started high school and you were still finishing middle school, buy you expensive gifts, and take you to fancy restaurants for your birthday. He always had his bedroom’s door unlocked for you to come when you felt like crying in the middle of the night because of something shitty your parents screamed at you. He never minded skipping work or classes if it meant staying home to take care of you when you were sick. And he had no issue scaring away any guy who, in his eyes, never seemed to be worthy enough of you.

You couldn’t help but laugh whenever his protective tactics worked, knowing that, deep down, your brother was just a big softie, never ever daring to kill an insect and crying over romantic movies.

Moving in with him always sounded right, it was part of your big plans; finish school, get into college and share an apartment with your brother, who would be just wrapping up his own studies.

Jay offered you the reliability you needed.

He was three years older than you, now working as a CEO in one of your family’s company subsidiaries after finishing administration school, and tried his best to give you everything you wanted and needed to live a good, comfortable life at least until you achieved your goal and stability by yourself, not wanting for your to do side jobs and focus only on studying.

Jay never cared much about doing it for him, choosing to pamper you to the brim without asking for anything back, even though you unconsciously paid with your happiness.

Due to your tough relationship with your parents, you never really took it for granted, working hard to keep yourself steady enough to live alone if you need to – Jay, on the other hand, would move mountains for that never to happen.

Jay fought for his place in the world with a little less struggle than you, and he blamed himself for it to some extent.

Your parents beamed with joy when he announced he would be studying business administration; you still remember that night of celebration, with your father practically glowing with happiness – the kind of happiness you knew you would never be able to give him, since you wanted to follow the artistic path of the spectrum.

Eventually, with your decision’s outcome, Jay made it his mission to take care of both of you, because he understood that life had been unfair to you. It wasn’t your fault that you didn’t want to follow the pattern they had set out for you based only on their expectations. You didn’t deserve to hear the hurtful words your parents threw at you, expressing their disappointment and sadness over who you had become.

Jay, however, admired the incredible woman you had turned into, in awe of your strength to keep fighting for your dreams, and he worked tirelessly to ensure you were safe, sound, and happy.

Now, you were in your second year in college, studying fine arts with Jay’s unwavering financial support; he offered you a comfortable place to live, covered your tuition and fees, food, clothes, and even your materials and books without bothering to ask for anything back in return.

The only thing he wanted was for you to concentrate on your studies and be happy.

And focus you did, although you had postponed as much as you could to finish a part of the core curriculum.

After everything you had been through, you could honestly say that physics was your biggest – and most frustrating – enemy. 

You hated physics with passion, never understanding why the fuck you had to study it.

The speed of the light? Why bother? You would never use it to measure anything in your everyday life anyway. And gravity? Yeah, you knew it kept you grounded on Earth, but it sure didn’t help you keep your steps steady. You were constantly tripping over your own feet.

It just never made sense to you. It only made you want to scream in frustration, tearing at your hair with every weird equation and choice of words to explain annoying, bullshit stuff.

“I just hate physics,” you groaned, breath heavy as your anger increased; a few strands of hair fell messily across your face, making the whole situation worse. “I hate it,” you muttered, punching the dough harder. Jay laughed. “Hate it, hate it, hate it!” You repeated, each word punctuated by another angry smack against the poor pizza dough.

Jay, trying to hide his grin, shook his head. "I don’t think the pizza dough has anything to do with your physics situation," he teased.

As much as he loved you, he was your brother and would always find a way to taunt your nerves before really offering a helping hand. 

A deep sigh escaped your lips as you fluttered your eyes close and threw your head back. You could feel the heat rising in your cheeks, a mix of irritation and helplessness washing over you working as a perfect mix to send you to the edge of losing control, and you wondered why you got so triggered over such a trivial thing.

Then, it clicked. Of course, trauma from your parents. 

You had always pushed yourself over the limit to be better, to get the highest grades and do your absolute best in school, only to feel frustrated when you couldn’t achieve perfection.

In your parents’ eyes, you would never be good enough no matter how many perfect scores you aced on exams and assignments.

In college, despite moving out of their house and ending contact almost entirely, you still held yourself to the same impossible standards, sometimes even worse.

Confronting a subject where you knew you couldn’t be the best felt like a trigger, a reminder of everything you had been told over the years.

Useless. Incapable. Insufficient.

You automatically remembered last night, when you sat at your desk, eyes wandering over the physics textbooks sprawled open on the surface, words coming in a blur. You couldn’t pinpoint when exactly it was due to your incapacity to understand them or to your tears that flowed easily after some minutes sitting in trance.

The weight was almost suffocating and you called it a day when your hands started to tremble and your body ached for rest, feeling extra tired just by… staring.

You rested your hips on the cold marble, blinking your eyelids open to glance at your brother. He had now a softened expression, calm and fond, hands comfortably placed on the countertop.

“I think I’m just oversensitive,” you said, voice barely above a whisper as your hands now played with the dough absentmindedly, eyes slowly lowering to watch how your fingers disappeared into the soft white mixture. “Y’know, our parents they…” You trailed off, not really wanting to verbalize your thoughts.

“Yeah,” Jay nodded, sighing. The knot in his heart tightened seeing you so pouty, understanding from how deep and particular your frustration came. “Listen, I know you hate it, but you have to at least do the minimum to pass. You don’t have to ace it all.” Jay spoke while standing up to wrap around the counter and stand by your side, his body resting on the counter as well. 

You leaned into the touch when he caressed your hair, your whole body shifting to a less tense figure.

Jay tilted his head forward enough to search for your sad, puppy eyes. Suddenly, an insight crossed his mind and his lips curved into a smile.

“I have a friend,” he said and you finally glanced at him. The unexpected mention of his friend and how he sounded like having a great idea sparking your curiosity. “I think he’d love to help you.”

“So, I invited the guys over,” Jay said while placing some beers on the minifridge near the entrance of your shared living room. You were standing up awkwardly in the middle of the room, eyes following Jay’s excited figure as he organized the house to welcome his friends. “And while me, Heeseung and Sunghoon do something fun, you and Jake can do the boring stuff.”

Jay had a plan, a solid one. And in any other circumstance you wouldn’t be so nervous about it. 

It was just another regular Friday. It was also routine for you to go out with your friends to some bar, club, or even have a girls' night at someone's house, while Jay would head to the house his friends shared.

Jay always used the excuse that he would rather keep the house free for you or not bother you, especially on those nights when you would choose to stay home to relax or study, though part of you suspected that sometimes he was actually heading to a girl's house and just didn’t want to tell you.

Either way, today felt different.

It all started with him inviting the guys over to his place instead of the other way around, followed by a surprisingly sweet request for you to stay in and not go anywhere.

Soon after, he revealed his plan: he, Sunghoon, and Heeseung would play video games in the living room while you and Jake studied physics in some other corner of the house. He promised they would keep the noise down so as not to disturb you.

As said before, in any other situation you wouldn’t be reacting the way you were; hands sweating, heart pumping loudly in your eardrums, head spinning. But in other situations there was no Jake in the equation.

Sim fucking Jaeyun, also known as Jake, was one of Jay’s closest friends, acting as much as siblings as you two.

They met in school and hadn't left each other’s side ever since, sharing hundreds of stories together, with a bunch of adventures and countless funny moments. You closely watched them grow up and accomplish things side by side, constantly attending Jake's birthday parties and other of his family’s events, even participating vividly on some of the “boy’s night” in your house where you crushed them in the video games they choose to play, always eliciting surprised sounds from Jake followed by compliments excitedly said, that, at some point, started to make you feel things.

When Jay moved out to start college, you were left alone at the house that aimed to destroy your dreams and, indirectly, you, having to deal with a lot on your own, constantly hearing the harsh words from your parents and having to lower your head without the courage to fight back, because Jay wasn’t there to defend you anymore.

Jay’s routine became heavy, as he landed an internship early during his second year that consumed most of his time, barely having minutes to talk to you over the phone, moments where you opted to listen to his news and college life instead of filling him with your teenager suffering bullshit. 

On the other hand, Jake, who was also in college, had way more free time. Whenever he went back to visit his own parents, he would set a time to take you out on weekends, helping you clear your head by treating you with some ice cream and any other snacks you wanted while listening to your concerns.

You grew really close to Jake during your high school years, noticing the genuine attention he gave you. Jake would always be close to you as a protective older brother, someone who looked out for you and took good care of you, a very trustworthy and sincere friend.

And yet, you always, always felt guilty for letting your feelings for him go beyond “just friends.”

Jake was the same age as Jay – three years older than you, three years more experienced, three years more everything. He was, now, a man. A very attractive, hot, appealing man. 

You had the chance to watch Jake grow up right before your eyes, transforming from a good-looking teenager into a charming young man. He had an irresistible smile, warm brown eyes that radiated kindness and sweetness, and a genuine aura that permeated his personality – always wanting to help others in the most caring way possible.

He was friendly, easygoing, sociable, and intelligent.

And when you saw him blossom, it was impossible not to feel completely captivated.

You vividly remember the time your brother posted a photo with his friends at the beach, and there was Jake, shirtless, showing off his toned, slightly sun-kissed body to the world. At that time you were already in your first year of college, while he was finishing up his own studies deep into the engineer life he chose to live. 

Your relationship had cooled off a bit, as his academic demands increased and his visits became less frequent, until you eventually moved in with your brother. You assumed you would see Jake more often, but, for reasons unknown, Jay rarely invited his friends over to visit and Jake never really reached out for you.

It became awkward.

You attended parties with your brother and met Sunghoon and Heeseung, Jay’s college friends, that created a unique bond despite having known each other for less time. The four of them became as close as family, and Jay made sure his friends knew you in order to keep you safe when he wasn’t around, constantly allowing them to pick you up on your way back home due to some unexpected schedule that kept him from doing it himself, for instance.

Jake, however, became distant. He would always have excuses not to do any of that and whenever you saw him at parties, he would at most give you a forced smile and a slight, polite nod, quickly diverting his path and avoiding you for the rest of the night.

It was painful in a way, especially since now that you were grown you realized your chances with him might actually be within reach. 

As a teenager, your crush was as subtle as possible, aware that neither Jake nor Jay would ever approve of any kind of relationship between the two of you, so you never truly considered anything happening.

But now you had become a woman. And a relatively attractive one, if you did say so yourself. So, just as physics had never made sense to you, Jake’s reaction to your presence had become just as baffling, until eventually you buried your feelings completely and moved on.

At least, that’s what you thought – until Jay came up with this wild idea of having Jake as your physics tutor.

You gulped down your nervousness for the probably ninetieth time, now intensified by the bell ringing. Jay was in the bathroom and shouted for you to open the front door, saying it was the guys that had arrived.

As you made your way towards the entrance, your legs felt wobbly and your heart was racing fast as you clutched the door’s knob. You took a deep breath, silently counting to ten before finally turning the handle.

“Y/N!” Heeseung was the first to greet you with his usual bright smile, wrapping you immediately with his long arms in a tight hug, not minding that he carried some bags with his hands or that they clashed against your back. His blonde hair was perfectly parted, giving a very enticing aura to his already charming presence. 

You smiled in response, warmed by his sweet embrace. By his side stood Sunghoon, his dark hair and thick brows framing his pale face perfectly. His cheeks rounded up as he gave you a shy, endearing smile before pulling you into his own hug.

“Missed you,” he muttered softly against your hair and you chuckled, squeezing him just a bit tighter before stepping back.

“You guys never come to see me, so I don’t know who’s really missing who here,” you shot back with a teasing grin, pretending to pout as you moved away from Sunghoon, almost forgetting about the third presence standing behind them in the hallway. 

After hearing their laughs and letting them in, your eyes flickered to the man awkwardly waiting for the interaction between the three of you to settle. Your breath hitched when your gaze met his, and you had to dig self control from the depths of your mind not to overreact. 

Jake was as handsome as ever.

He was casually dressed in a leather jacket over a white shirt and distressed jeans that seemed to fit him almost too perfectly. Effortlessly good, rough and soft just like your heart enjoyed, which was beating loudly in your ribcage, enough for you to fear to be heard even with the noises from the other two who had just entered your house and were greeting Jay. 

“Hey,” Jake managed to say without giving you a proper look, eyes avoiding your figure at all costs. 

“Hey,” you replied with a forced small smile, stepping back to give him space to pass through, even though there was more than enough. You felt like it would be like that the whole night: awkward and distant. And it only increased your anxiety.

As you closed the door, feet glued on the ground, you wondered if it would be harder to understand anything physics related or to deal with Jake’s presence. The only coherent answer you found was that either would be a pain in the ass, and you would be the one getting fucked at the end. Emotionally and academically. 

Watching them settling into your apartment, comfortably lounging on your couch while laughing and drinking the beer Jay served, you couldn’t help but think when exactly the whole tutoring thing would start. You waited for someone to bring it up, because although it seemed like a good idea, your inner self had doubts about your own reaction when being in a place alone with Jake and had no plans to pursue or engage it.

The couch’s armrest had never felt so awkwardly uncomfortable as you sat there, listening to the endless, nonchalant chatter around you. One of your arms rested on the back of the couch, propping up your head as your eyes shifted between Jake and the others. Whenever he caught you staring, you quickly averted your gaze, pretending to act like you weren’t a bundle of nerves just being in the same room with him.

Heeseung was the one near you, casually using your legs as a makeshift support to his own arm, and Jay sat beside him, completely indifferent to Heeseung's touchy nature – it became routine, to some extent.

Sunghoon and Jake took place on the smaller couch opposite to you, Jake smiling along to the conversation while adding his own points to the whatever story they were telling and Sunghoon laughter filling the room. 

You always found it amusing how Sunghoon seemed to be the reserved one, but when he was with his friends he was definitely the loudest.

Heeseung and you grew closer than you expected, often being the one giving you rides home, even raising some suspicions among your friends about being your boyfriend. As nice, gentle and charming he was, you never saw yourself having feelings for or even dating him.

Not when Jake was on the equation.

What?

“But hey, Jake,” Heeseung suddenly cut the topic and gave a quick squeeze on your thigh. “Weren’t you supposed to be helping Y/N with her studies?”

A cold chill immediately filled your belly and you froze in place, the smile lingering on your lips by listening to their funny chatter fading slowly as you lifted your gaze to Jake. Heeseung was innocently asking, but it caused your stomach to flip a whole 360, and the room was now dividing looks between you two.

You watched as Jake’s expression faltered for just a moment, then quickly returned to his usual easy going demeanor. Before he said anything in response, Jay took the front of it.

“Oh, that’s right,” Jay said, leaning back into the couch with a teasing grin. “I asked you to help my sister, not come here to drink my beer and lounge on my expensive couch.”

You wanted to sink into the floor, or at least disappear. Jake shifted uncomfortably, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips though you could clearly tell he was faking it. Jay’s obliviousness only made it worse, as if he couldn’t even sense the awkwardness between you and Jake.

There was no blame on him, though, especially because no one expected any type of tension between any of you. 

You shot a quick glance at Jake again, who was avoiding your gaze once more, and all of a sudden the room felt too small, too crowded, as if the space around you was closing in, sinking you deep into a pool of anxiety. 

“You don’t have to bother, really,” your voice filled the room, words waving weirdly in the air. You let out a mild chuckle, pushing yourself from your seating to stand up. “I’ll go to my room, so you guys can hang–”

“Hey, no way,” Jay interrupted your attempt of running away, frowning and lifting his beer bottle to point it at you, yet blind to the real atmosphere unfolding. “Don’t try to escape from physics, kiddo.”

Heeseung’s small snort followed Jay's words, giving you teasing glinted eyes before remarking, his lips against his beer bottle. “Yeah, Y/N. You’ve been avoiding it for God’s know how long.” 

Somehow Heeseung’s choice of words seemed to light up a strange feeling in your chest, as if he was reading beyond reality, slightly aware of the you and Jake situation – to begin with, there was no you and Jake situation. No way he would say that about your relationship with physics alone. Anyway, your cheeks warmed instantly, your eyes wavering to any other place rather than the rest of the people sharing that abruptly small space with you.

“I think the kitchen is far enough for you both,” Sunghoon quickly added with a relaxed nod, sipping on his beer. “We promise not to be loud, yeah?” He smirked, completely aware he was the loudest in the house so far. 

You chuckled, switching your weight on your foot. “I can’t believe it when you’re the one saying it,” you teased back, eliciting an immediate laugh from Sunghoon. “But yeah, the kitchen seems to be an okay place. Besides, there’s food and I can totally escape from physics or whatever with food,” you shot Jay a playful grin, quirking an eyebrow, challenging. 

“Don’t you dare.” Jay said firmly, but not really. You knew he was nothing but a worried brother about your mental health and how your academic performance affected it, wishing to give you only the best.

Unfortunately, the best in his vision wasn’t necessarily the best you needed at that moment. 

Jake finally stood up, fixing his clothes as he did so, running his fingers through his thick hair and glancing at you; your eyes tracked his every movement, the sinking feeling in your stomach tightening with the view. He was so damn hot. 

“The kitchen it is, then.”

You nodded, swallowing the lump of nervousness in your throat that came back in a strike, after reminding you would be spending quite a long time alone with Jake, having nowhere to run nor anything to calm down your fluttering heart.

Your legs betrayed you, feeling weak under the pressure of the situation. Still, you forced yourself to move, muttering a quiet “I’ll go grab my books,” before rushing off towards your room.

As you came back, hands shaking and mouth dry, you headed straight to the kitchen wishing to have some more time alone to organize your thoughts, gather yourself and regain your senses before calling Jake. Unexpectedly, he was already there, sitting stiffly on the chair he chose while his slender fingers rapidly danced on his phone screen, unaware of your presence.

Your entire body froze, your plan going down the drain right away. You bit your lower lip, a soft, involuntary action that seemed to be the only thing holding you together in that moment. You had to keep moving forward. You had to. But you couldn’t. Not when Jake was just… there.

A glimpse of a smirk curved the corner of his oh, so plush, distracting lips, glistening under the kitchen’s light while his attention was all on his phone, clearly chatting with someone. Girlfriend? The thought crossed your mind briefly; a man like Jake was probably taken already, and, to be honest, a small part of you almost hoped for it to be true, so you could stop torturing yourself over your silly feelings for him and really move on.

But Jake didn’t ease your side, cheeky tongue every so often playing with the corner of his mouth, teeth pressing his plump bottom lip, and from where you stood you could see his pretty eyelashes fluttering with each blink, oblivious to the effect he was causing on you, oblivious to the storm happening inside your chest.

With a loud and sudden laugh his body jolted, phone slipping from his hands and clattering onto the table as he threw his head back, one of his hands messily running through his silk brown strands out of habit.

Only then he noticed you, standing up in the kitchen’s door, hugging your books, clearly staring. 

“Holy fuck, Y/N!” He blurted out, a hand flying to his chest as if to steady himself, his puppy eyes widened to you, shoulders clearly tensed. “You scared the shit out of me!”

“I–I’m sorry,” you stuttered, stepping further into the room and trying to sound casual, as if you weren’t watching him from the past seconds with your heart almost ripping your ribcage open. “Didn’t mean to.”

Jake took a second to regain his composure and his eyes involuntarily lingered on your figure longer than he wanted to, nearly shamelessly tracing the lines of your body; the soft curve of your bare shoulders, how your spaghetti strap top appealed to evidentiate your collarbone and tightened just enough on your chest. Then he paid attention to your pretty fingers clutching the edges of your notebook and books, lowering to the tiny bit of exposed skin of your belly, then your beautiful hips and covered legs. 

You had chosen a comfortable outfit, not giving a thought about appearance at all – after all, not only the boys had seen you way worse, but the night’s plans gravitated towards studying and studying only.

Even so, Jake had to hold himself back. There was something about the way your clothes hugged your form that had him silently disorientated, heart faltering some beats and breath hardly passing through his airways, his own body heating just by visualizing you.

He cleared his throat, glancing down to fidget with his phone as a way to ground himself, breaking the tension settled thickly between you two. The small sound brought you out of the daze you got yourself into without realizing it.

“So…” Jake finally said, his voice a bit unsteady and lower than you expected. “Where do you want to start?”

His sweet eyes lifted to meet yours again, and his usual easy smile had a hint of something more cautious, more careful, as he focused on your adorable wide-eyed expression. He noticed your cheeks with a faint blush and couldn’t hold back a little grin when you diverted your eyes shyly. 

You slid into the seat across him, sprawling your materials over the table with a quiet sigh, your eyes anxiously avoiding Jake’s.

“I have no idea.” You admitted, letting out a nervous chuckle, struggling to soothe your nerves. “The basics?” You added unsurely and Jake was fast to nod tenderly.

Though he was dealing with a lot in his mind, he would always have a soft spot for you. 

“Basics, yeah. Sounds great.” He agreed with a small smile, carefully reaching out your notebook and opening to scan your notes. 

A wave of embarrassment flushed over you as you remembered the stupid things you wrote during your classes, fighting your demons trying to understand at least the bare minimum, scribbles that hardly made sense, and that now probably got you looking extra dumb and childish under Jake’s judgment.

You heard him humming before grabbing one of your books, his fingers brushing yours quietly and quickly as he did so. You ignored the burst of electricity induced by that simple touch, watching how his slender fingers casually flipped the pages until he reached the one he was searching for.

“You know, I can explain this easily to you,” Jake began to talk, his voice dropping to an unexpected gentle teacher-like tone as he leaned over the table a little, enough to get closer to you, enough to have your stomach twisting and flipping to every direction possible with the warmth his body radiated. “Just don’t mind me if I get too technical sometimes.”

“No problem,” you managed to say, grateful your voice was steady enough for you not to sound stupid or squealed, your eyes glued to your handwriting, tracing the lines of each word as a way of desperately dodging the possibility of meeting Jake’s gaze.

Even the faintest peek of his furrowed brow when he was focused was enough to make you melt, and he had no idea of how attractive he looked when he was all serious and devoted explaining his nerd things.

“Promise me you’ll tell me if you stop following me, alright?” He added, a smile tugging at his lips that you only saw by the corner of your eyes. 

You nodded quickly, swallowing hard; the scent of his cologne was flooding your senses, drawing you in closer, making it harder to think straight.

“Okay,” you replied, quiet and breathlessly.

For the following few minutes Jake explained the concepts slowly, his voice calm and steady as he walked you through the basics, but your head kept drifting your attention away, deeply engaged with the way his gorgeous fingers traced the lines of your textbook. The following thoughts were too dirty to even continue with.

Jake had that familiar Australian accent that naturally made you weak, and now, combined with the way he had softened his tone, speaking so close to your face, it was enough to drive you completely insane. You couldn’t focus on anything but how his warm breath traveled gently, brushing against the sensitive skin of your cheeks, increasing your fluster.

Your heart raced. It raced far too quickly.

The realization of how your body was reacting brought back memories of the times Jake had caused similar sensations in the past, back when he treated you with that older-brother tenderness and you would instantly overreact, shivering at his subtle touches, stuttering whenever his gaze landed on you with his usual captivating smile.

It was undeniable that something had shifted at some point; once there was the slight possibility of getting something more from him, no more holding “Jay's little sister's” place. You couldn’t quite grasp what happened or understand what had triggered such a sudden change, especially since you couldn’t recall having done anything wrong.

Your mind kept drifting away from the materials in front of you. Physics was never your thing, and in that very moment no amount of effort could make it so.

Not when Jake was all over you; in your head, by your side, overwhelming your senses.

Every so often his gaze flicked back to you, expecting to see your attentive, engaged expression, and consequently catching the way you chewed on your lower lip or absentmindedly twirled a pen between your fingers with furrowed brows. 

You had tied your hair in a bun as some strands began to fall over your face, working as a distraction – you were already surrounded with an overwhelming distraction, there was no need for more. That simple act had Jake stuttering, fumbling amidst his words and losing track of his thoughts as the hairstyle gave him the privilege to see your bare, beautiful and kissable neck. 

His hands tingled, urging to touch you there. Would you like to be choked?

Ok, that definitely wasn’t physics. 

Jake fell silent, swallowing hard as you leaned forward to see the drawing he was just explaining, thinking the delay was intentional. When no words came from his mouth and the air suddenly grew thicker, your eyes followed the trail from his fingers to his veiny hands, from his covered torso to his face, hovering longer on how clenched his sharp jaw was and how his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously.

You shot a questioning look, blinking innocently with brows raised just slightly. 

Jake wavered under your curious, yet somehow intense gaze, averting it immediately in order to regain his conscious back. Your lips had pursed into a small pout that did nothing to help his way out of his messy head.

Everything he could think about was how bad he wanted to kiss you.

“Something’s wrong?” Your velvety voice enveloped the room, a naive question with a supposedly simple answer that got caught in Jake’s throat.

Jake never saw you as a potential partner or lover, let alone as an object of his desire. 

You were Jay’s little sister that he cared for as if his own. He saw you grow up, he watched you achieving your goals and got inspired by your strength to overcome the toxic place you had to call a house. Jake cherished your relationship with Jay, grateful for both of you having each other, and that was pretty much you to him.

Even in those times when he treated you to ice cream and snacks during his college breaks, when he visited his parents back home, he kept you in a certain specific spot in his life – something close to family.

He loved to tease you, exactly like a mischievous older brother, laughing when you tripped, when your mouth was stained with chocolate, or when you fumbled through words while talking about your school crush.

Jake had always seen you as a younger sister he needed to look out for.

Until you grew up.

He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when the switch happened, when he stopped seeing you as a little girl he had to tease and began noticing you as a ridiculously attractive woman, but seeing you in person after two years definitely played a role in that.

Jake had been your closest company through your first two years of high school, filling the role of an older brother, a place Jay couldn’t quite manage to fill because of his own study and work demands, unwillingly. 

During your last year of high school you stopped seeing Jake, as he had gotten caught up in the same cycle as your brother: studying and working. And you completely understood, knowing that soon enough you would be in a similar place.

Then you graduated and started your own college journey, and Jake, deep into his own responsibilities, went another year without seeing you.

It was at the beginning of your sophomore year in college that you two crossed paths again – at a party when Jay finally agreed to take you with him, after much persistence on your part.

Jake froze.

Jake quite literally forgot how to breathe, forgot how to blink, how to properly work as a human the moment his eyes landed on you, stunning in a short, wine-colored dress, casually holding a drink in your hand.

Jake didn’t remember your body looking anything like that, used to seeing you in casual, loose clothing rather than that fitted, short dress that framed your thighs so perfectly, drawing his hungry gaze to stare as a starved man, with a subtle neckline that hinted at the curve of your chest.

Hot.

That was all he could think. Until he realized it was you.

He remembered it vividly: watching you from behind as you danced, immediately struck by how attractive that random woman seemed to be. But as his gaze traveled upward and found your face, he froze, utterly overwhelmed with shock and panic. Especially when you noticed him looking, shooting a cute, surprised smile and a little wave, almost as if you were going to come over.

To say he ran away from there was close to an euphemism, rushing over the bathroom within a lame excuse thrown at his friends before heading back home after using the bar’s back door as his way out.

The walk home was painful. Jake’s head was filled with nasty thoughts that made him completely unable to disable it from happening, swirling around in a dirty carousel. 

Jake felt like a naughty, filthy pervert. You were Jay’s little sister. The one he played innocently with, hung out countless times without the slightest thought of having you as a true woman; and if the thought ever crossed his mind, he would feel disgusted, because it made no sense and was wrong.

So, the only way to overcome your effect on him was to ignore you at every possible opportunity, not expecting you to care that much about it.

It was a stupid choice, an asshole one even. You used to be friends and now he would rather choose to be eaten by a bear than see you up close and act normal.

Jay’s sudden plan of asking for his help was the start of his downfall for you, and now he was dealing with the consequences of his previous decisions. 

“Jakey?”

The nickname. The fucking nickname you last called him years ago, now sounding even mellow and sweeter, yet as sultry as ever. Jake wondered how would it be to have you underneath him, moaning his name as if your life depended on it with his dick buried deep into your cunt.

“Y–Yeah?” 

Jake immediately damned himself for the stutter, afraid of being too obvious with his nervous reaction. He made the mistake of looking at you, trying to act as normal as possible, and somehow his brain managed to picture your oh, so cute eyes fluttering close as he pleasured you.

His face heated instantly, as if fire was being spread all over his skin. His body was hot as hell, the loosen pants now not so comfortable as before, tightening on his crotch area.

“What happened?”

You nonchalantly touched his covered forearm as you asked, concern written all over your face as you struggled to understand what was happening. Jake's abrupt reaction of moving away from your soft hands startled you a little, your head cocking to the side as you frowned, reading Jake’s widened and panicked eyes.

Unaware of the real deal, oblivious to the torrent of emotions and feelings dancing inside Jake’s head and chest, you started to feel really annoyed.

Was Jake slipping back into that strange, sudden habit of ignoring you, like he had been since you had started crossing paths again?

There was no plausible explanation for his reaction. The two of you used to go out together all the time, comfortable touches being a natural part of your relationship – especially since Jake was almost ridiculously clingy with his close friends. 

When the whole ‘avoiding you’ situation first started you were very confused and questioned what you did wrong. Then you grew mad and eventually got over it since you had no contact at all with Jake throughout the following months, nearly forgetting his existence. 

But now you had to face it all again, confronting the feelings you once went through; a familiar bitter blend of anger and hurt. It stung like reopening a wound you thought it healed. Exposed, sensitive, vulnerable, bringing back memories you hoped to erase.

“Nothing happen–”

“Why did you stop talking to me?”

Your interruption was as abrupt as Jake’s reaction to your close presence earlier. He noticed the spark of rage flashing your two orbs suddenly, causing him to blink, caught off guard, eyes widening even bigger if it was possible, trying to understand what you just had hit him with.

“Huh?”

You let out a frustrated huff before repeating yourself even more mad, your hands traveling to your hair fix some random strands as an anxious fidgeting habit to ground you. 

“You started to ignore and avoid me. Did I do something wrong? Did I piss you off?”

Jake was taken aback with your outburst of questions, lips parted, words caught somewhere down his throat. There was something close to a knot pressing the back of his tongue that made it hard to speak steadily.

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean, Jake.” You sighed, expression softening just slightly, studying his face. “We used to hang out. We were friends, even.”

Jake exhaled, biting his lip as a way to hold back his words. If he let it all out, he would scare you so fucking bad. 

“Yes, when you were younger.”

“What changed?”

You saw how his shoulders tensed, his neck moving as he swallowed hard, demonstrating to feel flustered under your inquisitive gaze. His eyes dropped to his lap, where one of his hands rested comfortably. He dug the depths of his thoughts to keep it as safe and subtle as possible, not wanting to pour it all on you.

“I... I always saw you as a little sister. That’s how I looked at you, like family.”

You nodded along, following his soft-spoken speech. You didn't understand what exactly he was aiming for with it so far, so you let him continue, hoping it would bring a closure for your relationship to blossom again.

“But then–” He hesitated, eyes flickering up to you and then drifting away. His voice dropped an octave as he added. “I got overwhelmed with my last year in college and eventually with my work. So I didn't have time to see you often. Life just got… Busy.”

Deep down he knew you wouldn’t buy his lame explanation. However, didn’t stop him from holding tightly the small string of hope you would let it pass. 

At the same time, he had a tingling feeling telling him to blurt out everything he went through when you were the subject. How hard it was to act normal when Jay talked about you, to not get hard seeing your cute instagram pictures, not picture himself getting lost in the middle of your plush thighs. 

God, you worked him up too easily.

“I get that part, I really do,” you replied, boldly and kind of unconsciously placing your hand on top of Jake's. This time he didn’t flinch, taking in your soft, innocent touch. Still, his breath hitched. “But when I moved here, you started avidly avoiding me,” you continued, voice dropping to something near a whisper as your fingers traced delicate patterns on the back of his hand. “You’d ignore me at parties, never stopping by to visit. I just didn’t understand.”

Jake shifted uncomfortably on his seat, embarrassed of your accurate analysis.

“The visiting part is Jay's fault. He was the one who suggested for him to go to our house instead of us three coming over here. Just… Making things easier, I guess.”

“That makes sense,” you murmured, pulling your hand away as you realized the weight of the intimacy, afraid of being too weird. “But the avoiding and ignoring me… It doesn't make any.”

Jake closed his eyes briefly, taking a deep sigh. There were no more ways to run away from the topic; his weak excuses had long been overrun by the intensity of your pressing curiosity. You were ready to dig deep and uncover the truth at any cost. Jake knew you well enough to expect this – your persistence, your determination, your stubbornness were traits he had always admired in you and your brother.

“I’m sorry.”

“If you can explain why you’re sorry, maybe I’ll accept it,” you challenged, arching a brow and immediately grabbing his attention. You knew Jake’s competitive side and loved to play with it as a coaxing manner to get what you wanted.

You watched his eyes wavering just enough to make you wonder if your tactic would work that time. But then, he chuckled dryly, blinking away from your awaiting expression.

“I’m sorry for acting like that, Y/N.” He started. “I– I panicked,” his voice was subtle as a feather. If you weren’t alone and far from the noise happening in your living room, you doubt you would be able to hear it clearly. 

“Panicked?” you echoed, confusion knitting your brow, your head tilting just slightly. “Over what?”

Jake’s face turned a deeper shade of red, especially on his cheeks and on the top of his ears. You got even more puzzled, especially after he answered with just a single word.

“You.”

You. 

It hung in the heavy air as thick as a volcano’s smoke, deepening your confusion, your heart starting to beat faster and your hands getting sweaty. 

“Me? What do you mean?”

You didn't expect your voice to sound so quiet as you spoke, but you got somehow caught by surprise with how things turned out. 

So you really did something wrong?

“You… grew up, Y/N. You’re–” He struggled to find the right words, shifting uncomfortably once more, his eyes traveling between the floor, the table and his lap, never daring to look into your eyes. “I’m sorry, but you’re beautiful. And… more than that. You’re… You’re hot.”

An awkward and tense silence filled the room right after Jake’s stained voice trailed off at the end of his sentence, as if he wished he could swallow them back together with the knot on his throat.

Now that he had just verbalized the main reason for his behavior towards you, he was feeling extremely disgusting and pathetic. He could feel the weight of his own shame pressing down, and an almost nauseating guilt pushing at him; a reminder he was wrong for allowing you to go out from the safe and special spot as a “little sister” in his heart, to occupy a darker and more lustful one.

It wasn’t your fault, though. Jake would never in his life blame you for a mistake he had authorized to happen. This wasn’t just a fleeting, harmless slip; he had seen you, had filthy thoughts before fully realizing it was you. And afterwards he did nothing much to stop those thoughts from creeping back in, the only option being avoiding you instead of facing it as a true man.

He swallowed hard once more – becoming a natural habit at that point – and forced himself to look up for a brief moment. All he saw was your stunned expression, mouth slightly agape and eyes apparently trying to search for some kind of joke, to which it only fueled the growing dread inside him.

Jake’s mind was a spiral. The fragile line he had been teetering about you began to fall apart as he realized that you would probably cut him off completely, screaming at him the words he deserved to hear. 

A creepy, weird and disgusting man. 

His pulse quickened, panic creeping in with every second that you didn’t speak, an urge to break the silence immediately, as if maintaining his being in it would drive him completely insane. With that in mind, he opened his mouth to babble.

“I– I don’t expect you to understand. God, I wouldn’t even blame you if you decide to never speak to me again. I’m sure– I’m sure we can arrange an excuse to Jay about your study, or even tell the truth– I’m–” He cut himself briefly to look away from you, who still had your same expression. His hands were busy gesturing anxiously. “I know I crossed a very dangerous line. It’s so fucking wrong and– And I’ve tried to come up with anything to push it away, even ignore it. But then, there’s you.”

Jake’s voice faltered, as though his world was colliding, ending, as though he was on the verge of losing his mind somehow. 

He was.

“There’s always you, looking like some kind of goddess that makes me go insane.”

The realization of what you just heard made your pulse quicken. Jake’s babbling worked perfectly to ground you and, ironically enough, to send you back to heaven, as you felt like dreaming after hearing his first sayings. 

Over the years you thought about having Jake in other ways rather than just a friend or an older brother, but never quite grasping to it completely due to the small, yet existing age gap and the different stages of life drifting you apart. 

To acknowledge how Jake really felt towards you was similar to living in a vivid fever dream, it got you clenching your thighs, panties pathetically dampening just enough to make you shy, as if he would become aware of your body reacting to his words.

You opened your mouth to respond, to try to find any words that could make sense in between the mess of emotions happening inside you; relief, desire, passion. But before you could even begin, a familiar voice cut through the tension, as sharp as a knife, startling both of you as if you had been caught red-handed.

“How's study going?”

After Jay broke into your studying session with Jake and consequently interrupted the development of your newfound possibility of relationship with the said guy, you couldn’t help but dive into a sea of frustration. 

Jake immediately panicked and ran away, muttering a lame excuse that he had things to take care of and he would catch up with you later, leaving you sitting there, bewildered, confused and angry – with him and with you brother, who even though had no fault, shattered your chances to voice out your side of the story and maybe, just maybe, get Jake to your bedroom.

Jay didn’t flinch a little, aware of how Jake could be impulsive and random with his spontaneous persona and let him go, smiling softly to you after gently stroking your hair and ask if you wanted to relax with him and the remaining guys, thinking you could use some of it after the long minutes you spent studying. 

You were quick to dismiss the offer, seizing the opportunity to excuse yourself to your room, pretending to be really tired and to need some time alone after reading so much physics hard stuff.

However, as you crashed into your bed and stuffed your head into the soft pillow, your body didn’t feel like soothing any time soon, your brain working overtime to remark each and every word uttered by Jake, his low voice as clear as crystal water as it repeated restlessly. 

You’re hot. A goddess. Makes me go insane. 

That night, you met a brand new and nameless sensation. It was close to frustration but layered with the tempting awareness of something you could nearly touch, yet not claim.

Jake ran away, as he always did, without even giving you the proper chance to tell him that, God, you felt the same – perhaps even worse.

His mere act of voicing those genuine, sultry words had already done enough to ruin your self-control – and panties, taking away the opportunity to express just how incredibly irresistible he looked, how you longed to devour every centimeter of his slightly sun-kissed skin, to taste his plush lips, to make him wholly yours.

You asked for Jake's number to Jay the next day, under the pretext of needing to get some extra materials and maybe schedule your following meetings, hoping for it to be reasonable enough. And though Jay willingly accepted and supported your idea, Jake partially ignored you, at most answering your texts with “ok” and “sure”, never leaving an opening for you to draw him into a longer conversation.

So when Jay served you a stack of pancakes on Monday, you expected everything to happen but what really unfolded. 

“I scheduled another study session with Jake today. That cool with you?”

The forkful bringing you a piece of your food froze midair, the assimilation of what Jay’s just said made your movements halt shamefully instantly as you raised your eyes only enough to encounter Jay’s relaxed face.

“Mhm?”

“Jake’s coming over after work today,” Jay repeated casually, munching his food. “I think he gets off around four, so he’ll be here when you’re back from your classes.”

Ok, you definitely – and unfortunately – had heard him right. A spark of excitement and an urge to get yourself dressed extra prettily for college rushed over your body as you straightened your posture on your chair, using of a simple nod to silent agree with the deal.

You feared your words would get stuck on your throat.

“Oh, and I’ll be working from home today, so you won’t be alone with him.”

All the efforts were made for you not to choke on your food, but the honey sauce dripping straight down your throat elicited a quiet, small cough from you. You gulped down whatever was on your way to voice out anything, and all you managed was to mutter a confused “Huh?”

Jay smirked at your reaction, but not really reading into it.

“You know, just in case,” he shrugged nonchalantly and your brow furrowed, stomach twisting with nervousness.

“Just in case of what, exactly?”

You damned yourself for using such a fearful tone, like a frightened kid that had hidden a secret from their parents, leaving gaps for an overinterpretation that Jay could try doing if he was devoted to completely understanding the strange way you were acting.

You deeply wondered if he knew about whatever happened with you and Jake that Friday, or worse, if he eavesdropped on Jake's confession about how he felt about you.

It wasn’t like Jay would be fine with Jake coming over if he did in fact know or heard the conversation. And knowing your brother, he would rather have a civilized and polite conversation with you instead of playing around. 

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Jay started, a glint of mischief twinkling in his eyes. “You hate physics and I called Jake to come teach physics to you. The other day, you were kneading that pizza dough like it owed you money. Don’t know what you’d do to someone who’s a walking physics encyclopedia.”

Your pulse quickened, but your shoulders loosened. Gladly, Jay had already moved on the subject, unbothered, yapping about how he preferred doing his job from home and how annoying it was to deal with paperwork in person. All you could do was to nod along, anxiously counting the minutes.

With almost absolute certainty, none of your classes that day could hold your attention. And so it was. The professors' words seemed like random sound waves, failing to form coherent sentences for you, and you had to fight the constant urge to get up from your chair and leave, even though you knew Jake wouldn't be there yet.

Mondays were exhausting. You had to attend multiple classes, and especially that day there were practical lectures that kept you stuck on campus later than usual. By the end of the day, despite the exhaustion, you were still buzzing with anticipation.

You practically ran back to the apartment you shared with your brother, trying not to make too much effort and break a sweat – after all, you wouldn't have time for a shower or to get dressed properly before seeing Jake.

You felt like a teenager nervously preparing to meet her crush in the hallways between classes; your hands were trembling, your whole body thrilling with excitement, as if each part of you was electrified with anticipation.

Your heart pounded relentlessly, as if each beat echoed louder than the last, straight into your eardrums. The closer you got to your shared apartment, the harder it became to calm your racing thoughts, and the overwhelming mix of excitement and nervousness almost made you dizzy when you grabbed the door knob and twisted it open. 

Jake was sprawled on your couch, golden specs casually resting on his face and his brown, silky hair poking to different places since he was playing with it nonchalantly while the other hand held his phone. His eyes raised up from the screen when he heard the sound of the door opening, and with a subtle smile he greeted you.

“Hi, Y/N.” 

Your gaze instinctively hovered across the room, searching for Jay’s presence. At the same time, you fought against the urge to make yourself comfortable with Jake on your couch. He looked so inviting, cozy and fluffy laying in there, his demeanor soft and relaxed, nearly pulling you close, drifting your thoughts away from reality.

It took seconds for it to hit harshly, as you remembered the intimacy that had once been so natural between the two of you no longer existed, and the possibility of reclaiming that closeness felt slightly out of reach. It was a bitter thought, one that reminded you how fragile things had become.

However, for Jake’s misfortune you weren’t one to give up so easily, now aware of his feelings and thoughts towards you, there was no way to back down so quickly. Not knowing he nourished a desire strong enough to make him opt to avoid you in order to get over it. 

“He’s in his office room,” Jake explained when noticed what you were doing, kindly breaking you out of your trance.

“Oh,” you mumbled, nodding awkwardly. Jake sat straight on the couch, eyes boldly locking into yours as he did so.

You licked your lips out of habit, a bit taken aback with the idea of being in a room alone with him again, the anxiety you had built up throughout the day exploding in your chest just like fireworks.

The slightest motion of your tongue dragging along your plump, cherry colored lips didn’t go unnoticed by Jake’s nervous gaze. His eyes flickered downwards right after, and you silently cheered when he took his time to appreciate your bare thighs in full display for him. 

You had chosen an outfit that was simple yet comfortable, but also bold, different from what you had planned for the day before knowing you would spend time with Jake; a relatively oversized sweater that would protect you from the gentle breeze of the day, paired with a short skirt that highlighted your rounded thighs – thighs you knew Jake would enjoy seeing.

And he so fucking did. The way he parted his lips, swallowed nothing, and shifted uncomfortably on his seat confirmed your theory. 

Jake’s cheeks warmed when he realized what he just did, checking you out carelessly and right in front of your beautiful eyes. He cleared his throat, ready to throw some random small talk to guide the situation to the real deal – the whole studying thing –, but you had other plans. 

“I’m not mad.” 

After years sharing moments with Jake, having him practically living in your house similar to a family member, you had gathered enough sources to know Jake was torturing himself with a guilt you didn’t see to be necessary, not when you desired him as much as he wanted you, not when things could be as simple as one plus one. 

Jake was smart enough to catch onto what you were referring to, still, he hesitated, quirking an eyebrow in disbelief. He remained silent, waiting for your following words when you opened your mouth and closed, as though struggling to find the best, right ones. 

Your feet moved towards his direction and you took the seat beside him, keeping a safe distance. A distance that would keep yourself under control not to jump on his lap, tug his hair with your hands while kissing him passionately, using your hips to rut onto his bulge, aiming to hear his lascivious noises.

Swallowing your impulsive thoughts back, deep on your throat, you continued. 

“I’m not mad that you…” Holding back a shy smile, you bit your lip. “I’m not mad that you think I’m hot.”

Your voice came out as quiet as possible. The fleeting sensation of being heard by your brother weighed heavy on the air, pushing you to keep it as hushed as you could. 

Once more, Jake shifted on his seat, his own fluster increasing after hearing you voicing out his last confession. He didn’t feel stupid, though. It was impossible to feel anything other than thrilled.

He couldn’t pinpoint precisely what turn that conversation with you would be taking; the small hint of fear creeped his chest, but the excitement of positively reading the situation was deliciously overgrowing it. 

“But we have to talk…” You tried to sound firm, yet gentle, not wanting to scare him away. The way your eyes rested on his face made Jake’s heart skip a beat. You were so fucking beautiful. “You know, I didn’t tell you about my part in this story.”

Jake felt his body untensing with your relaxed, tempting even, words; the atmosphere heavy but not with anything bad. It felt suffocating in the bestest way possible, as if a hundred of amazing possibilities could unfold, each of them having your lips pressing against his as a starter and his dick buried deep in you as a finisher.

“Do we?” Jake tilted his head to the side, eyes gleaming with teasing after the realization. The same behavior he would have with you was brought back in a snap, nonetheless, you doubted your strength to deal with it, especially when his two brown orbs showed a hint of something darker.  

“Yes.”

A quiet, feather-like whisper. It was all you managed to say, failing to keep up with your steady, collected image.

“Okay, we can talk,” he nodded softly, and though his eyes showed affection, the faint smirk adorning the corner of his lips triggered your inner core to pleasantly twist.

Jake leaned closer, now relaxed before your presence; your compliant demeanor easing his way through it, taunting his bolder side to shine brighter. Your breath hitched when his eyes wandered your face carefully, his body nearly pressing yours as he drank in your perfect features before gently grabbing your chin to pull you closer.

He was centimeters away from touching you where you needed him the most – firstly. Because your entire being craved for him. 

“But unfortunately, I have to teach you physics before, pretty.”

That was how you ended up sitting at your desk after announcing your arrival to your brother, saying you would be with Jake in your bedroom for studies purposes.

Bullshit.

Jake brought an extra chair to sit by your side, and you truly made double effort to keep your focus on whatever he was explaining, but his words sounded slurred, vague, like a baby talk. His voice and accent were unnecessarily attractive, inducing your head to concentrate on its sounds instead of the meaning. Not to mention his fucking kissable lips, so, so, so close, yet so far. 

Each time your eyes darted to the side, you caught a glimpse of his side profile. Distracting, beautiful, captivating.

Jake had a nose you swore it was sculpted by the finest, most talented artist; sharp and smooth just right, softly curved at the tip, gorgeously displayed on his handsome face. That high bridge triggered your most profound and dirty thoughts, your eyes dropping to a darker shade almost instantly as you got drunk on his features. 

Jake’s whole being was attractive, tempting, a living demon who now taunted your worst behavior and you loved every bit of it. Alongside that, the unveiling situation between the two of you was eating you alive, slowly consuming your mind.

After the little study session you agreed on talking about the dangerously unspoken matter, with the hope of resolving things. On your bed, if you were lucky.

You wanted to have Jake’s hands exploring your body, gripping and pulling you closer, pressing you against the mattress while fucking you from behind, hard, deep, fast, whatever he decided to. You needed his lips marking your neck, his face stuffed between your legs, his mouth working on your pussy while you screamed his name. 

You could almost feel how his tongue would work perfectly in your clit, licking, sucking and–

“And that’s how thermodynamics works. It’s amazing, isn’t it?” 

You blinked confused towards Jake, feeling just a little bad for not really enjoying your private lessons as much as he was. It was cute to see how talkative he became whenever physics was the topic, and extremely hot to witness his smart brain working in full motion to explain every word to you.

Nonetheless your attention span was long gone, ever since his scent started to intoxicate your senses, making you wish to have it all over your skin with his body hovering yours. 

“But of course you’d be paying more attention to my lips and my nose.”

You widened your eyes, speechless. Jake clicked his tongue, shaking his head in a faux discontentment. You trembled on your seat, unconsciously moving back from the closeness of your bodies; there was a fear creeping in your head of losing your inner battle to the raw passion tingling your skin.

“Listen, Y/N. I’m really trying here. I’d appreciate it if you did some effort too.” 

Jake was once again teetering the same risky line, this time with less hesitation, his confidence bubbling as he realized you wouldn't be pushing him away.

The moment he caught your hungry your devouring him throughout the entire tutoring, how willingly to let him in you seemed to be, devoted to the idea of fucking under your brother’s roof, he threw his self control away and started to think with his other head. 

You gulped, eyes lowering to your notebook peacefully resting on your desk. 

“I’m sorry, Jake.”

“Y’know what?” Jake suddenly stood up, offering his hand with his gorgeous slender fingers full of silver rings for you to grab. “Com’ere.” 

Your squinted eyes flickered between his digits and his face, searching for some proper explanation that unfortunately you didn't receive. So you followed his steps, standing up as well and shivering with the touch of his mildly cold skin against yours.

With the way Jake grinned, your stomach tightened, fearing whatever he had on his mind. Trying not to be so obvious with your embarrassing reactions, you frowned.

“What are we doi–”

“The first law in thermodynamics is that energy can’t be destroyed or created, it can only change forms.”

He said his speech within his teacher-like tone once more, interrupting you without caring to explain why standing up and explaining it to you again would make the material magically settle inside your brain.

Especially when you wanted to settle on your bed with him on top of you.

“What the f–”

“So, if I do this,” Jake raised a hand, gently placing it on your right cheek. You winced and retracted a bit with the unexpected soft brush of his slightly cold skin on your, now, heated face. “Do you feel it?” He whispered, fingertips tracing the warm flesh underneath his touch, his body instinctively getting closer to yours as his eyelids softened. “The heat of your skin will work its way to make mine less cold, y’know? Mine is absorbing from yours, to stabilize our temperatures together. The energy isn’t being destroyed nor created, it’s transferred from one body to another until they find the perfect equilibrium.”

It was pathetic the way you nodded along, Jake’s words and presence reverberating throughout your body similar to a wave of pure pleasure, your eyes sparkling with a mix of curiosity and shock with this new method. 

So, physics can be interesting, huh?

“Now,” Jake got closer, his voice dropping an octave while the hand that held yours found comfort on your waist, eliciting an immediate gasp from you. “Question: what happens when two equally heated bodies touch each other?” 

Jake’s face was just a few centimeters away from yours, his lips ghosting, tempting a kiss you wished to happen as soon as possible; he seemed to be testing the waters, glad that you allowed him to do so.

The way his warm breath tickled your skin was dizzying, yet addictive. You shivered, respiration quickening with the way Jake’s eyes dropped, almost closing, as he got charmed by your soft, plump and oh, so kissable lips.

There was no adequate explanation to how your body reflexively reacted to his stimulus, your hands traveling slowly to grip onto something as a way to ground yourself, finding the thin fabric of Jake’s shirt on your way through it. 

“Nothing–” You gulped when you started talking, because the simple motion had your lips grazing Jake’s. He nodded reassuringly, as a way to incite you to keep speaking, the grip on his shirt tightening. “Nothing changes.”

Your eyes lazily fluttered close and open, the tension nearly palpable in the air. Out of habit, you wetted your lips with your tongue; a habit that now got you brushing it against Jake’s lips as well. His breath hitched, surprised, but he didn’t stutter. 

“Yeah,” Jake muttered, letting his hand thread through your strands, tugging it gently. You moaned softly, lips parted, a small frown gracing your features. 

Jake drunkenly groaned, throwing caution and patience aside with your reaction. Fuck, his self control was down to hell and for seconds he forgot where he was, because you were everything and everywhere in his head. 

He could feel how tight his pants became as his dick twitched for some attention, hard and heavy.

“You’re a quick learner when there’s practice involved, aren’t you?”

Jake’s lips were now grazing featherly on the sensitive flesh of your neck, teasing to kiss but never truly giving in.

You didn’t even notice how much you were leaning into his touch, as within every tempting brush on your skin you melted deeper, growing impatient each passing second.

Your fingers boldly slipped underneath his shirt, tracing the subtle lines of the abs you dreamed of licking and kissing and sucking and… God, you were on the verge of crying out of desperation. Your fingernails dug harder into his skin, eliciting a jolt from Jake that immediately pressed you against himself in response.

“Please, Jakey–” You whimpered when you felt his hardened bulge poking you, together with – finally – his wet kisses on your neck, nibbling gently the area with an aching slow.

Jake chuckled in contact with your sensitive skin, loving the way you tilted your head to give him more access, loving the way you were needily pressing yourself on his body, loving the way your hands involved his waist firmly; goosebumps flushed over as he delighted in your sweet and lascivious noises and responses. 

A phantom of a smirk tugged the corner of Jake’s glistening lips as he trailed soft little pecks through your jawline and near to your mouth, laughing gently with the way you searched instantly for more with hooded eyes.

“Wan’ me to kiss you, pretty?” Jake asked, voice thick with raw desire. He now held you with both hands on your hips, one shamelessly lowering to your ass every so often, while yours glided over his chest until they reached his firm shoulders.

You watched Jake’s eyes flash with a mischievous spark and you promptly knew that you could play that game too. So instead of answering right away, you feigned the purest expression you could, batting your eyelashes deliberately as you looked up to him, big doe eyes twinkling with a playful innocence. 

Jake wavered under your gaze, breath twitching, clearly weak to your tactics already. You held back your smile, keeping your faux naivety; the single action fueling Jake’s craving deeper.

“Only if you want it too, Jakey.”

You had no right to sound so pure, as if you were immaculate, untouched, never once ruined, yet dripping with lust and desire. So fucking filthy. 

“Fuck, doll.” Jake muttered faintly, not holding back anymore, his jaw clenching as he harshly dragged you over the room, far from gently as he pushed you to bounce on the soft mattress of your bed. “I’ll kiss you,” he said, hovering on top of your body, the excitement bubbling pleasantly in your low area. “And then I’ll fuck you so, so fucking hard.”

You giggled, getting comfortable on your bed as Jake positioned himself between your legs, which hugged him naturally. As he lowered his face to do as he said, you smirked. 

“Is that a promise?”

Jake’s eyes darkened, pupils wide showing you a sea of unknown feelings you never thought you would witness with him. His lips curved into a slow, teasing smile, one hand trailing deliberately the curve of your hip, your waist, chest, until it was gently wrapped around your neck. 

“Bet.” 

Driven by a mutual need, Jake dived into you passionately, almost desperate. You let out an instantaneous satisfied moan with the feeling of his soft lips pressing harshly on yours, one hand flying to take place on his silky, thick strands, the other gripping his wrist, keeping his hand in place on your throat. 

It took seconds to have Jake’s wet tongue infiltrating the electric touch and unapologetically searching for yours while his body grinded just slightly against your clothed cunt, making it pulse in desperation, dampening the fabric of your panties.

You tried to remember if you had locked the door beforehand, the faintest peak of your moral appearing just to be completely vanished, forgotten due to the vibrations of Jake’s small noises; his groans sent signals straight to your throbbing core, each clutch of your fingers tangled on his locks igniting a new sound that you discovered to be your favorite. 

Jake tightened his fingers around your throat faintly, starting a path of sloppy kisses down to your neck and shoulders, his hot tongue savoring each piece of your exposed smooth skin, and everything you could do was to squirm underneath him, struggling to maintain your sounds low.

With your movement, you accidentally brushed your knee on Jake’s crotch area the exact same moment he released your throat, causing him to open-mouth moan and frown, lips now working on your covered breasts, busying his free hand to squeeze your hips; just the fleeting contact of his heavy, still clothed, dick against your body fueled your craving deeper, your hands gripping on his strands harder.

“Jake, can you please hurry up?” You said in between a moan when he nibbled your nipple over your shirt. “We– We can’t be caught.”

Jake looked up at you, beholding the view of your beautiful fucked out expression with just a few minutes of making out while his hands explored your body. He would bet millions that underneath your underwear, you had already made a mess – the thought alone enough to make him gulp, thrilled to feel your spongy drippy walls enveloping his throbbing length. 

“Newton’s third law,” Jake mumbled suddenly against your stomach, eyes glazed in yours that now showed a confused state, eyes sparkling with pure desire. He curled his fingers on the waistband of your sweatpants, lowering it enough to give him access to your laced underwear. “For every action, there’s a reaction.” 

His explanation didn’t do much for you to understand right away, your frown deepening asking why he would say that so out of the blue. But as soon as he pressed his fingers over your panties and started to draw circles on your clit, you kind of got it. 

“Shit,” you whispered within a whimper, rolling your hips forward as a way to get more of what Jake was offering you, making his lips curl with a satisfied grin. “I swear to G–God…”

The slowness of his movements got you sighing in frustration. It was clear he was playing with you – quite literally –, and the possibility of Jay hearing you two or even worse, bursting the door open and caughting you mid-act was as frightening as arousing.

Having to be quiet, to keep it down, to not raise suspicions. You clenched around nothing. Jake nearly felt it.

His tongue was constantly wetting his lips, mouth watering, his breath heavy, eager, like a starved man who had his favorite meal on full display but couldn’t do anything other than… watch.

You angrily propped yourself on your elbows, tugging Jake’s hair to pull him back to be face-to-face with you, his fingertips never stopping the circles on your cunt. Your lips were centimeters away from each other, eyes hooded, deepened in lust. Jake saw a remnant of your playful aura getting lost amidst the lewd words that came out of your mouth.

“You can’t keep up with your promises, I see,” you murmured, your voice low, sultry, laced with challenge; the smirk dancing on your lips heightened the defiance’s level, triggering Jake’s pulse to quicken. His breath caught as he arched an eyebrow “Should I ask you to leave so I can finish this myself?” You teased, pulling his head to the side by tightening your grip on his locks. “Are you all talk, Jaeyun?”

Jake froze for a brief moment, his mind working hard to connect your words, and the moment it did, his features hardened, utterly lured by your bait; jaw clenched, eyes darker, breath ragged. It dropped to a deeper shade of craving, raw and delightful.

Your core buzzed with anticipation and you unconsciously let out a gasp when Jake pulled you to lay back down on the soft mattress by the waist, hands immediately removing the last piece of cloth that covered your lower body, quickly to undress himself from his own shirt and jeans, exposing his torso and his hardened cock pressing against his underwear.

Absurdly hot. 

Jake was absurdly hot. 

A single silver necklace graced his beautiful neck in contrast with his subtly tanned skin, his chest, toned enough to drive you insane, rose and fell faintly. The way his perfect v-line drew your attention towards his underwear seemed almost purposeful, the stained portion on the thin fabric around his tip got your mouth watering. One thing you were sure of: Jake was big.

He smirked with the way you devoured him whole with your filthy gaze, feeling as much wanted as he desired you too. He playfully dropped his eyes down to his own cock just to glance at you before getting completely naked, catching just enough of your reaction over his bare body.

You had little to no time to appreciate the view as Jake hovered over you quickly, propping himself in between your spreaded legs. Your eyes gleamed with longing and your mouth fell agape when Jake started to glide his dick on your wet folds. He couldn’t hold back a groan with the feeling too, eager to get your pussy hugging his shaft.

“Condom?” He asked, lips kissing the corner of your mouth while waiting for your answer about where to find the said protection. Your immediate reply got him throbbing.

“No.”

Jake fully halted his hips, looking you dead in the eye, and when he saw nothing other than certain, he groaned. “Fuck, pretty. You can’t say th–”

“Raw, Jaeyun.” You repeated yourself, fingernails digging deep on his biceps, a moan escaping from your lips when his heavy cock brushed your clit.

“Damn,” he mumbled against your neck, aligning his length within your pulsing, drippy hole, aching to be fulfilled.

As Jake’s tip pressed against you, a messy kiss took place of your mouths in order to muffle your noises, sloppy and hot, tongues everywhere, teeth pressing each other’s bottom lip harshly, caring little to nothing about hurting.

You whimpered with the feeling of him filling you so good, going deeper and deeper each passing second. When he finally buried himself completely, a groan got lost in between your kisses, and he kept still while you adjusted, though it was extremely hard to wait when you tightened your walls so perfectly around him. 

“You– You feel so good,” he muttered against your lips, voice weak, losing himself in the feeling with his face contorting in pure pleasure as he licked and sucked your bottom lip, asking for more kisses.

The wording and how he said it got you clenching more and Jake felt it right away, your eyes fluttering close as he didn’t hold back and started thrusting on you slowly. He was so deep and intense on you, yet deliberate, a pacing you would curse if you weren’t enjoying that much. 

A soft knock on your bedroom door interrupted the blissful moment, panic instantly taking over your faces as you widened your eyes and gasped, instinctively covering your mouth with your hand. 

“Shit,” you whispered, looking at the closed door over Jake’s shoulder, your heart beating loud inside your chest.

You never prayed so hard for a door to be locked.

“Y/N?” Jay calmy called out from the other side.

“Answer him.” Jake whispered demandingly against your cheek, enjoying it a bit too much for your liking, especially because if you two got caught, it wasn’t just you who would get screwed. 

His eyes scanned your expression, how heavy was your breathing, how bright with fear your eyes shone, although there was a thick layer of pleasure not hiding your enjoyment of the situation. 

“Yeah?” You tried your hardest to sound steady and not stained, but it became a difficult mission when Jake was pushing himself even deeper within each deliberate roll, clearly searching to hit your sensitive spot. 

“Are you alright? Did Jake leave already?”

Your eyes darted over to Jake, who was keeping the grind slow, painfully slow. You arched an eyebrow, not saying a word as you waited for the man on top of you to decide if he was going to lie to his best friend or not.

Jake smirked.

“No, I’m still here,” he kind of shouted, biting his bottom lip to contain a whimper when you tugged his hair at the same time you squeezed him with your walls. After realizing his weakness of having his locks being pulled, you started to use it as an advantage. “And she’s fine, we’re–” he interrupted himself because of the quiet moan that escaped your parted lips, forehead resting on yours, the fear of being heard creeping stronger, fueling, feeding his arousal to the extreme. “We’re wrapping things up.”

Jake managed to let it out in one go, luckily and supposedly believable enough for Jay not to try open the door or ask any of you to do it. 

“Oh, um, okay… I just finished my work,” Jay said casually. “I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

Oh, great. Jay’s room. The one next door. 

“Alright, bro,” Jake was the only one able to speak, especially because you had now your teeth pressing on his shoulders as a way to keep yourself quiet. “See you in a few, then.”

You two not-so-patiently waited for the sound of Jay’s footsteps to fade far enough down the hall before continuing, Jake’s eyes filled with teasing when he looked back at you and immediately started to faster his thrusts, taking in from your instant response of curving your back with lips parted, the slightest moan escaping from them.

“Shh, baby girl. Don’t make any noises, yeah?” Jake whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning your skin. With the way his fingertips traced softly your thighs, only to harshly grip into your flesh and pound deeper, you couldn’t hold back your whimper, wincing. “Shh…” He shushed again, an obvious smirk adorning his plump lips that now rested on swollen ones, his low voice causing your whole body to feel like on fire, skin tingling in despair.

You wanted to scream his name so bad.

“J–Jake…” You moaned underbreath, struggling to keep it quiet. Jake chuckled, amused by your reckless behavior.

“Do you want your brother to hear us, sweetheart?” He asked, filthy, feigning a mocking tone. “I don’t think he’d like to know how deep into you I’m in right now.”

With that, he thrusted once more, hitting your sweet spot right away. You nearly cried as you threw your head back, walls clenching around his dick furiously, fingernails sinking into his flesh, back arching.

Jake grinned, in complete awe with your surrendered, fucked up form, wishing so bad to be able to get more of you – your screams, your whimpers, you chanting his name, anything. He just knew you would sound even hotter. 

“Such a dirty little girl. Dying for someone to hear us, huh?” 

“N–No…” You whined, pathetically shaking your head and softly smacking his shoulder as you got lost in yourself. You felt your body starting to convulse as Jake kept on hitting your g-spot over and over, barely noticing he had his forehead resting on yours again, his hard breathing blowing harshly on your face. “Can’t– So big–”

You rolled your eyes with the speed of Jake’s hips increasing. He wanted to go harder and faster, but the slapping sounds were already growing too loud, teetering the edge of getting caught a bit too much. Not to mention the blend of quiet moans, whimpers and groans you both exchanged in between pants and messy kisses.

Within minutes Jake felt the coil on his stomach tightening, his release was near and by the way you started to sound desperate, you were close too.

“I’m not gon’ last much longer, pretty,” Jake hissed when you wrapped your legs around his hips and pushed him deeper, helping him to maintain the rhythm of his thrusts. “Fuck...”

You fluttered your eyes open – didn’t even remember when you had closed it – right on time to catch a glimpse of Jake’s necklace dangling close to your face as he propped himself up to ease his pushes, his sweaty hair part sticking to his forehead, part hanging down, grazing softly on your nose. 

The overwhelming feeling of Jake’s burying himself deep into you, filling up each centimeter inside your cunt, his scent all over your senses, his sweet and hot silent moans, the way he had a pleasant frown gracing his features, every now and then biting his lip.

You felt your orgasm building up in a delightful, electrifying wave that flushed your trembling body.

“I wanna–”

“Come to me, baby,” Jake urged you, his own climax teetering the edge, voice cracking. “Wan’ feel you creaming my cock.”

A mild louder noise escaped your lips as you shivered, legs shaking with the amount of pressure your body was releasing. Jake bursted right after your juices coated his length, stuffing you up with his warm seed.

Your heavy breaths filled the room for a while. Jake’s tired body pressing against yours within an intimacy that made your heart flutter, realization hitting that you just had fucked your crush, who just happened to be your brother’s best friend.

You closed your eyes, a sting of a bittersweet feeling growing inside your chest. 

“We still need to talk.”

The talk never really happened, since the constant visits unfolded your relationship with Jake better than you expected.

It seemed to be a no strings attached type of relationship, with you and Jake kissing and fucking anytime you had the chance to in between your tutoring classes.

You couldn’t help but feel guilty, and foolish to some extent, because tasting Jake's body and mouth awakened the same feelings of love you once buried deep within you, feelings that you now had to bury again, fully aware that they weren’t nearly reciprocated.

Jake probably saw you as woman he could fuck, and you thought you could live with that.

Your encounters with Jake became as usual as your classes, and gratefully Jay obliviousness blinded him from the real thing happening under his roof, because in no world you would need everyday physics lessons, even with your tough relationship with it. 

At some point you started to believe that your tactics to restrain yourself around Jake had been perfected.

When Jake changed his behavior with you, avoiding you at parties and the other events where you both accidentally crossed paths, Jay never suspected a thing. First, because he knew how busy Jake was with his work, and second, because he believed friendships were flexible and often riddled with uncontrollable nuances – meaning, you and Jake were simply going through a phase where things weren’t aligning.

It became routine to pretend you were still in the same cycle, with Jake acting as a casual friend who was just helping you with your studies enough to pass the course.

Jay had no idea you had promised Jake that you would only let him eat you out if you aced your exams – although you would let him do it anyway.

It was just so fun to watch him throw tantrums at you, whining how much he needed to feel your cunt pulsing and dripping on his tongue. You couldn’t deny the excitement of receiving a head from Jake was big; the way he kissed you and how high bridged his nose was, were enough proof that he would do a hell of a job.

As the semester was reaching its end, your anxiety grew.

You felt secure in most of your subjects, because even though Jake was actively present in your life, you managed to find out time to focus on your individual studies and felt confident enough in them.

But then there was physics.

The one you were supposedly studying, locked in the room with Jake. The one you learned while feeling the heat of his body against yours, his soft whispers, groans in your ear as his hands explored every centimeter of your skin.

It was undeniable that Jake's practical method worked wonders, and that was exactly why you took the lead and suggested that for that day's study session.

“You wanna do what?”

You and Jake were sitting across each other in your room: Jake on your bed and you at your desk chair. He had just arrived for your tutoring of the day and you immediately greeted him with a suggestion that had him with the most dumbfounded, in disbelief, shocked kind of expression written all over his face.

“Suck you off while you explain the basics of that shit,” you repeated yourself casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Quantum.” Jake pointed, his eyebrows skyhigh at that point. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, smiling innocently while playing with a pen and wiggling your legs off the chair.

“You want me to teach you the basics of quantum physics while you suck me off?” He echoed, still trying to completely comprehend your proposal. 

“That’s exactly what I just said.”

It was an undeniable proposal, right?

Jake blinked, his brain falling into a dangerous short-circuit. To imagine you, kneeled in front of him, his dick buried deep in your throat, free-fucking would be his wettest dream come true.

However, there was a big chance of him losing control of his sounds – and himself – the very moment your pretty lips wrapped around his dick, tongue playing with his sensitive length as your gorgeous doe eyes looked up to him.

Jake damned himself for getting hard just by the thought of it.

“And how does that help you… Practically talking?”

He was really trying to logical think and follow your thought process, shifting on his seat while his mind traveled away.

The whole fucking while studying was a thing not only because you both wanted it to happen, but mostly because Jake could partially dodge the creeping guilt, knowing his work was getting done, even if that meant him shoving his dick inside you while doing so – a win-win situation with his peculiar, yet effective technic. 

With that particular request, he couldn’t quite pinpoint where the logic leaned, triggering his mind to wonder if you were getting dangerously close to crossing the unspoken line that came with your agreement.

Jake’s eyes tracked as you stood up and walked close to him, casually sitting on his lap, arms naturally wrapping around his shoulders.

“Well…” You trailed off, fingers slowly and shamelessly drawing a soft line across his chest, feeling his breath hitching beneath your touch; your eyes dropping to a darker shade of lust, shifting the whole atmosphere. “Hearing your moaning voice would… Y’know, help me internalize it,” you smirked, letting each word teasingly hang in the thick air.

Jake’s eyes narrowed with a spark of intrigue, head tilting slightly as he searched for a hint of humor or mischief in your gaze that would give away your plan. But you held his stare, unwavering, eyes burning with a confidence that left no room for doubt, no suggestion of play.

“So…” He murmured within a gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbing drawing your attention briefly. “You’d remember the explanation… Because I’m…”

“Moaning it.”

The wording left your lips light as a feather, yet as sultry as the taste of the finest wine – tempting, subtle, delicious. Jake leaned in, failing to ignore your bait, his jaw clenching as his grip on your waist tightened; a quiet curse escaped him, underbreath, the moment you busied your lips on his sensitive neck. 

“Fuck…”

You rolled your hips just slightly, teasing a touch you wouldn’t be giving to him. Not so easily.

“What do you say, mhm?” You kissed Jake’s jawline, his chin, the tip of his nose and then his plush lips. 

There was something about the way he kissed you back, deliberate and tender, as if you were everything he waited for his whole life.

After days of sharing intimacy, you began to notice that sometimes Jake kissed you like a lover that long dreamed of you – mouthful and yearning, as if he couldn’t get enough of you. Like a soft breeze fanning your skin on a warm summer afternoon – comfortable enough to make you sigh, yet stirring something deep. Like the glow of the sun fading beneath the horizon at dusk – beautiful, fleeting, and full of possibilities. Like a first lover – fear of losing the sight of you and unforgettable. 

Jake kissed you like he was slowly allowing himself to fall in love with you. And you didn’t know yet, but he was.

Each attach of lips elicited new waves of euphoria through your veins as your feelings emerged without a proper warning, kicking the front door of your heart open and making a delightful mess.

You couldn’t help the strong pump of your heart and the flutter on your stomach the moment Jake crossed your sight. How thrilled you got when scheduling your meets, not caring about the studying neither the fucking; eager to kiss, to hug, just to have Jake close.

In that very moment you wished, more than ever, for him to feel the same way. You could sense the desire in his every touch, in the way his body pressed flush to yours, demonstrating how much he needed you, how much he was losing himself in you, like magnets.

You could feel it in the way his hands roamed, the warmth of his touch, the intensity in his gaze. It was tangible, undeniable. Jake wanted you. But was it enough? Did Jake want more than just a moment, or was it just an ephemeral passion, burning brightly before fading into memory like ashes?

On the other hand, Jake’s mind slipped into a haze, zoning out while drowning deeper in the warm and cozy ocean that was you.

He found himself lost in the memory of your first kiss – fueled by a mixture of fear and excitement. Not the fear of being caught, but the terror of realizing he had already fallen too intensely, his entire being consumed by the intoxicating pull of you. And he did nothing, nothing to fight back or to swim back to the top, utterly, willingly under your spell.

You had him wrapped around your fingers from the moment you first crossed paths at that party. 

Jake had tried to keep his safe distance, as a way of respecting your brother’s implicit boundaries and you, the little girl he grew up with. But mainly because he was completely aware that once he succumbed to the temptation of you, there would be no turning back.

When you both embarked on this brand new journey of friends with benefits, Jake knew that he could end up losing himself more than he should.

He believed you deserved to be treated like a queen – to be adored and desired as the most precious thing in the world. And he could be that person if you allowed him to.

But it was as clear as crystal water that you didn’t see him in that way. Not when you withdrew from acts of intimacy, not when you pulled back as the kiss grew too passionate, too full of love, not when you showed that you weren’t ready to take another step forward together.

Jake didn’t mind being used for your pleasure, not at all. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement: you got your physics lessons and some good orgasms, and he got to have you for a brief moment, just long enough to satisfy the hunger he felt. Then he would return, craving more, locked in a cycle he knew all too well, hoping his excuses of giving extra hours of teaching would be enough to keep you by his side just a little bit more.

That first taste had done more than ignite a flame; it had marked him, like a brand, leaving him completely, irrevocably at your mercy. Jake was yours. You just didn’t know yet.

That one kiss lingered painful longer than any other. When you finally pulled away, your breath came in short bursts and you were unsure whether it was the intensity of his touch or how quickly your heartbeats increased in such a short span of time.

Jake wore a lovestruck expression that had your body responding immediately – heat spreading through your chest, leaning forward, wanting more of whatever he had to offer.

“You pull me like magnets, you know that?” Jake casually and suddenly dropped in, voice barely above a whisper but thick with something unfamiliar to you so far, something that got your stomach fluttering with an emotion you didn’t want to name yet, scared of being real.

You swallowed down your immediate reaction, trying to regulate your breath while being torn between letting your heart follow along or keeping your feet on the ground, afraid of reading too much into that unusual moment that was just starting to unfold before you.

“That’s not today’s subject,” you managed to mutter back, a tinge of anguish holding onto your voice as your eyes traced Jake’s handsome features. 

You could lose yourself in him for hours and never grow tired. He had the most perfect face, soft puppy brown eyes filled with sincerity, prominent cheekbones that constantly shone brighter when he was smiling big, showing off his pretty dental arch with the slightest curl at the end of his plush lips. His sharp figure juxtaposed perfectly with the softness of his nature. Sweet, tender, endlessly loving.

For you, it was effortless to fall for Sim Jaeyun.

“When would it be, then?”

Jake had gathered all his strength and courage to throw that question at you, wavering just a little when you answered with a dumbfounded frown and a quiet “What?”.

“When the fact that you pull me like magnets, opposites but still ridiculously attracting me towards you, would be the subject?” He asked, his hands pressing harder on your hips as if he was trying to ground himself out of his nervousness, as if he was struggling to not falter. 

You arched an eyebrow, an unconscious smile creeping on your mildly swollen lips as your breath hitched. Before you could reply with another question, Jake continued, making it difficult to keep thinking coercively, since each of his words traveled straight into your heart.

“‘Cuz, pretty, it’s pathetic,” he chuckled as softly as his voice came out, head leaning to the side. “When I’m with you I feel like I’m a particle in motion, constantly accelerating in pure devotion,” Jake's orbs were so, so filled with softness and fondness as he kept on saying. One of his hands cupped your cheek and he brushed your lower lip. “You make me feel like I’m at the center of a black hole. No matter how much I try to escape, I’m just pulled deeper into your gravity.”

With that you giggled, head being thrown back as the flustered heat creeped on your cheeks quickly, your eyes briefly flickering away from Jake’s loving ones for a moment before glazing into them again, this time intensely exposing your vulnerable side.

You finally lowered your guard, allowing those same feelings you had been nurturing for years to come into the light to face the beautiful, thrilling possible outcome.

“Did you just confess your feelings for me using physics metaphors, Sim Jaeyun?” You asked with a playful glint in your eyes and a teasing smile that had Jake nuzzling his flustered face on your neck, holding back his own shy smile within a bit on his lower lip.

“Yes. I, indeed, did,” he muffled against your skin, making you shiver a bit.

Your heart vibrated with pure, unexpected joy. Your afternoon had a turn you weren’t waiting for, but now that it did, relief flooded your senses. Jake had feelings for you too.

Another giggle escaped your lips. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined Jake confessing his feelings to you, let alone as you sat on his lap, sharing intimacy and knowing you were the ultimate reason for his body to be so reactive. Couldn’t be more perfect, everything seemed too good to be true.

With a light lean back, enough to pull Jake away from your embrace, your eyes dropped to drink in his perfectly drawn full lips. The air shifted, this time, not only with a momentary lushness or vague desire how it used to be, but carried with a ton of something close to love as well.

You rolled your hips and Jake groaned, sensitive to you already.

“So,” you purred, your teeth sank into your bottom lip, a mischievous grin tugging the corner of your mouth as you pushed yourself forward, making Jake’s heart flutter as his back encountered the soft mattress of your bed. “Does my pretty physics boy want me to suck him off while he lays down or…?”

Jake’s body instantly winced with the way your eyes darkened and how velvety your voice came out of your gorgeous lips; the nickname didn’t go unnoticed either, causing his dick to twitch inside his pants.

Your touch feathery, yet trailing flames through his covered chest stirred up the deepests feelings he used to hide. Jake took in your reaction as a quiet yes or maybe a subtle “me too”. Knowing your nature so far, you would rather give him a head, as in a taste of your affection, than admitting out loud you liked him back.

Little did he know you were on the verge of panic, fighting the urge of shying away because, although he just confessed to you, you felt pathetically nourishing feelings way more intense towards him, with your heart pounding loud and unsteady and an overwhelming ache not-so-quietly overtaking your being.

You craved to give Jake your everything, to devour every centimeter of him if that meant being close – closer than words alone could ever take you. There were no syllables together to form a proper sentence that showed a quarter of what it felt to love Jake.

“I– I honestly don’t know…” Jake murmured as soft as fluffy clouds, contrasting your demeanor at that moment, with your lips now placing slow and soft kisses all over the sensitive flesh of his neck.

You chuckled when Jake started to squirm a little, his hands nervously gripping on your ass and quiet moans escaping his lips as you took your time to enjoy his warmth with your mouth. There was something so arousing about how Jake was always reactive to your touches, either the lightest or the more intense ones, his body clearly faltering deliciously under your control. It made your panties wet quite instantly. 

When you started to nibble that same area, you also felt Jake bucking his hips upwards, as a way to get some friction to satisfy his neglected dick. Jake was very sensitive on his neck and didn’t have to admit it out loud; the fact that he was getting harder and harder underneath you was enough to show it. 

His puppy eyes lighted up with an adorable blender of curiosity and excitement under your piercing gaze when you lifted yourself to straddle, knees on each side of his hips. The same gaze roamed his whole clothed body as if you could see through it, ravishing each small portion with adoration.

Jake had an extra cute and confused expression taking over his face when you suddenly stood up and let him go out of the warmness of your body, a playful grin dancing on your lips as you softly tapped his thigh before saying.

“Get comfy, Jakey,” there was a thick layer of desire on your voice blended with a hint of mischievousness that got Jake’s dick throbbing while he did as you said, propping himself on his elbows to properly lay on your bed.

You positioned yourself on top of him again, smiling cheekily as you lowered your face just enough to purr against his ear, your hot breath making him wince. “Cuz I’m about to make you forget your own name.”

The way Jake’s eyes widened after hearing your non-filtered filthy words had you giggling, his Adam’s apple attractively bobbing up and down as he swallowed, your lips attaching to it because you truly wanted to devour Jake as whole. 

“But Jay–” He tried to reason with you, his hands betraying his rational side as he intensified the grip on your ass once again, pulling you down so he could rut against you; his pants growing uncomfortably tighter each passing second.

“Shh,” you shushed him, gently pressing a finger on his plump lips before shaking your head. “He’s not home,” you added, planting a few kisses along his neck, jawline and lastly on his lips, propping yourself up on your arms, one on each side of Jake’s head.

A low moan escaped Jake at the sight of your fierce, determined gaze, fearing he wouldn’t be able to handle whatever you had prepared in your mind. You stared at him like a predator about to strike a prey, and damn, you looked so unbelievably sexy doing it.

“It’s just the two of us.”

Just for a few brief moments, he thought, considering adding. But you seemed more unwavering than ever to follow through with your plan, and honestly? Jake didn’t care anymore.

Not when you slowly stripped him down until only his underwear remained. Not when you were kissing and licking every centimeter of his chest and abdomen, your enchanting eyes giving innocent, pure glances that contrasted sharply with your every move. Not when he could feel your hands deliberately exploring every part of his warm skin, leaving trails of burning desire that were far too overwhelming for him to remain still.

When you paused at the waistband of his underwear, all Jake could do was breathe heavily, bite his lip, and watch you expectantly, his airways feeling like closing as you finally gave him the freedom he needed. 

“You have such a beautiful and big cock, Jakey,” you hummed with a smirk, tongue wetting your lips as you felt your mouth watering. Jake groaned when you grabbed the base and started pumping it, painful slowly, smearing the leaking precum to lubricate. “I’d love to feel it down my throat.”

And without a warning or leaving him to properly think about your words, you gave a long, savoring lick of his veiny length just to suck at the tip, eliciting an immediate moan within a thrust forward searching for more contact.

You kept swiping your tongue across his throbbing hardened dick, always finishing with a pop on the very end, and when you felt like your spit and his arousal had coated it enough to ease your movements, you opened your mouth wide to take him whole, each centimeter causing Jake’s body to tremble and his voice to falter in between his groans.

When you had your nose bumping his lower stomach, you stood still, feeling Jake’s hands caressing your hair kindly. You had to use your everything to remember to breathe with your nose, especially when the view of Jake’s head being thrown on the pillow as he, himself, struggled to regulate his own breathing was unfolding right before your eyes. 

Jake's body at that point was flaming hot, sweat dripping onto his forehead while his free hand clutched the sheet in a way to keep him sane, though your warm cavity embracing his dick, up and down, was leaving no room to maintain the silence. 

“Fuck, baby–” His voice was hoarse, consumed by the indescribable sensation of the way you took him so pleasurably, so skillfully, so delightfully. “T–Taking me so well…”

He waved his hips just slightly with his hands still on your head, bucking against your throat and unintentionally making you gag. He didn’t feel sorry at all, not when you kept on your pace, barely giving a thought about it, even stirring a muffled moan out of you.

A choked whimper escaped Jake’s swollen lips as he felt your throat pressing against his sensitive tip again. It was bizarre how it seemed like you had been molded just for him, and only him. Jake wanted you in every possible way and was grateful because you seemed to want him just as desperately.

You increased the rhythm little by little with hollow cheeks, giving some more attention with your mouth to Jake’s reddened tip, tongue pressing at the slit every once and a while as your hands worked on the base and his balls. 

There was a thin string of morality that held Jake in reality, preventing him from moaning your name – though he wanted so badly to –, but he couldn’t help the following whimpers and small cries that left his throat, the flutter on his stomach indicating he was getting closer. 

You noticed it almost right away after so many moments together. Jake always started to whine in between his noises and his body would shake within each minimal stimulus, squirming like he was growing desperate. So you quickly repositioned yourself, supporting your weight with your arms on the bed and staying still, eyes blinking expectantly at Jake, waiting.

“Why did you stop–” Jake cut himself when he propped his head up from the pillow to look at you, another half-choked groan slipping out his parted lips when he caught the view. “Don’t tell me you want me to…”

You nodded, still waiting. Jake chuckled, in pure disbelief and desire, because you just had held yourself with your tongue poking out of your mouth, expecting him to simply throat-fuck you.

The way you were just… staring, patiently idling until Jake had your hair threaded through his slender fingers to finally move was an extremely alluring, sultry sight.

“You have no idea of how sexy you look right now,” he muttered under his breath, lowering your head while resting on his free elbow, because there was no way in hell he would lose the enticing scene you were just about to give him. 

Jake didn’t know he would be able to endure much longer of that treatment you were giving him, his body extra sensitive as he bobbed your head up and down his cock; free using your body for his own pleasure sounded a lot out of his league and he took a mental note to repay later. 

It took just seconds in that new position for you to have Jake rolling his eyes back with his mouth falling open, a quiet moan escaping as he speeded up his hands on your head before forcing you all the way down, pressing the tip of his throbbing cock on your throat while the thick ropes of his release filed straight down your throat.

You kept steady, motioning the swallowing movement to ride Jake through his high; it felt amazing to have him shaking in between random waves underneath you, soft whines coming out of his parted lips while the grip on your hair tightened.

As soon as he loosened the said grasp, you finally removed his now a bit softened cock out of your mouth, kissing it briefly before moving up to settle yourself on Jake’s chest. 

“That was insane,” he whispered in between small pants, involving you with his arms. You cared little to nothing about his sweat sticking to you, knowing you both would have to take a quick bath before Jay got home. 

“I know,” you replied back with a grin, looking at him and kissing his lips with passion, now free from your own fears’ restraints. 

You used to avoid sharing too many intimate moments with Jake, the aftercare barely happening due to your constant excuses to run away, scared of falling deeper into something you couldn’t really grasp at. Not until that day. 

It felt great to experience such loving touches without having to run away – light as sweet breeze fanning your face, your heart pounded in joy inside your chest, stomach fluttering with dancing butterflies.

You suddenly giggled, parting the kiss to glance at Jake with your adorable, playful eyes. He shot you back a tender gaze, waiting for your following words.

“You didn’t teach me about quantum,” you quirked an eyebrow and Jake immediately widened his eyes in panic.

“Oh, shit.”

You laughed at his dramatic reaction, at how he wanted to leave the bed to grab his clothes and try to use the last minutes of your tutoring session to teach you anything.

“Calm down, big boy,” you pulled him back. “Jay’s probably not even at home yet.”

As if you had summoned him, a knock on your door got you and Jake startled. 

“Y/N?”

Both of your bodies tensed immediately. With a jolt, Jake was rushing over to get his clothes from the floor and wear them as quickly as possible while you frantically patted down your hair and smoothed the wrinkled fabric of your shirt, wiping away any hint of lingering fluids from the corner of your mouth.

“Coming!” You shouted, hurrying towards the door.

You cleared your throat, giving a final, stealthy glance over your shoulder to make sure Jake was, thankfully, no longer naked. When you opened the door, you greeted Jay with an overly bright, oh-so-forced smile, praying he would buy your attempt at casualness.

“Hi!” 

“…Is everything alright? I heard some noises. It sounded like someone was in pain…” he replied, his brows knitting in concern.

“Uh…” Your mouth fell open and your eyes widened comically, your brain nearly visibly overheating, struggling to process an acceptable explanation. 

You could closely feel Jake’s gaze burning on your back as the realization that Jay might have heard pretty much everything.

“It was me!” Jake interjected, cutting through the awkward silence with an impressive smoothness. “I, uh, stubbed my toe on Y/N’s bed frame when I was heading to the bathroom,” he added with a sheepish chuckle.

“Oh,” Jay replied, nodding with an air of understanding that sent a wave of relief through your tense shoulders, your smile naturally coming back to your face. “That makes sense.”

However, Jake was naive enough to notice how his best friend’s eyes dropped briefly, as if scanning you two, a faint, knowing look flashing across his face before he added with a small, friendly smile

“I’ll leave you two. Don’t wanna interrupt your… Studies.” 

“Thanks!” You were quick to answer. Almost too quick. “We’re almost finished!” Your voice was stained enough to raise suspicions but you opted to ignore it.

As the door clicked shut, Jake exhaled with a low mutter, his fingers scratching through his hair. “I think he knows.”

“What!?” You exasperated, though trying to maintain your voice low. “There’s no way!”

Jake’s lips curled in a fond smile as he studied your adorable disbelief expression, hands finding comfort on your waist. For someone who just had partially sucked his soul out of his body through his cock, you were acting a bit almost innocent. He couldn’t resist the urge to tease you, his fingers drawing circles on your hips.

“Did you really think he bought that excuse?” he chuckled softly, eyes gleaming with amusement.

“Of course he did!” You stomped your foot, crossing your arms.

Jake's hands slid from your waist just to gently unfold your arms, guiding them to his shoulders as he pulled you closer.

“I wish you were right, pretty girl, but I don’t think we’ve convinced him this time,” Jake said and sighed, your cheeks warming when he used a finger to tuck a strand of your messy hair on your ear. Your pout deepened and Jake giggled. “Who the hell moans when getting hurt, sweetheart?” He murmured, his voice soft, but his lips twitched in a playful smirk.

“I mean,” you started, flustered but trying to be reasonable, “there are probably people who–” Jake cut you off with a quick peck on your lips, startling you into silence as your protest dissolved into a surprised smile. The sweetness of the gesture caught you off guard, and a good warmth bloomed in your chest.

Definitely you would have to get used to that.

“I don’t think he bought it, pretty,” Jake eyes traced over your features, his smile lingering longer as he studied each part of it. He caressed your cheek, brushing your bottom lip before kissing you, a delicious shiver running down your spine as he did so. “But it’s fine, yeah? We’ll figure out something.”

The woman staring back at you in the mirror was expressing everything but “I’m casually going to study.” Sure, you had chosen a chill outfit, taking advantage of the sweet autumn breeze to wear one of your cozy sweaters, but you had left your legs bare, pairing it with a short skirt that framed your thighs perfectly. Perfectly enough to drive Jake insane.

It was amusing, thrilling even to see how he now reacted so openly, nearly pathetically to your provocations. Anytime you found yourselves in a safe space – mainly your room or the living room when you were absolutely sure Jay wasn’t home – Jake would unleash a stream of shameless obscenities adoring you, his hungry gaze devouring your body without a care in the world. It always earned a laugh from you before you both gave in to the heat of the moment, leading to a long, intense kiss. 

Today, you didn’t know for certain if Jay was home, and frankly you didn’t want to find out either. If he was, he would probably see you and question where you were going, an endearing yet slightly overprotective habit of his. So, you walked through the house as quietly as possible, practically on tiptoes, hoping he had been held up at work or had gone out with his friends, as he usually did on Fridays.

The evening was just setting in, and Jake had mentioned earlier that Sunghoon and Heeseung were going out that night, which was the main reason you had felt comfortable enough to head over – freedom. And, admittedly, because your finals were starting next week, and you genuinely wanted to review a few things with him, even – and luckily – if that meant to have his breathy moans brushing against your ear as he fucked you dumb.

With your nervous eyes hovering the apartment in search of anything that resembled your brother’s presence, you finally reached the door, clicking it open with a relieved sigh.

However, fate had other plans for you.

“Where are you going?”

You startled and stopped immediately on your tracks, turning in your heels with an awkward smile to see Jay standing near the dinner room door frame with a confused expression. You had forgotten that he normally sat there while working on boring stuff on his phone sometimes, where he could definitely see you passing by.

“Um... To Jake's.” You quietly told. “Y’know, my exams start on Monday, so…”

Jay arched an eyebrow, his jaw clenching ever so slightly as his eyes roamed your body, his frown deepening within each passing second. Now you damned yourself for choosing such a short skirt.

With a brief nod after his silent inspection, he muttered. “Ok.”

You squinted, tilting your head, your expression shifting to something almost investigative as you struggled to read Jay's reaction – a calmness that felt almost unsettling, like the lull before the storm. You half-expected him to ask dozens of questions, and the fact he didn’t got you wavering, stomach twisting in a bitter anticipation.

“Okay…?” you echoed, waiting for… something more.

“Yeah, have fun.” He replied, shrugging slightly, hands being buried deep in his front pockets. “I mean, it’s physics. You can’t really have fun with that,” he teased, but at the same time, you felt weird, like there was something more to it.

“Um, right,” you nodded, forcing a tense, small smile. “Definitely can’t.”

The words lingered in the air between you two, the air dense as volcano smokes; a volcano you trusted wouldn't erupt soon. Or at least you deeply hoped for it. 

After a quick goodbye, you headed to Jake’s house, having to deal with your stomach aching in nervousness after your brief interaction with Jay. You truly wished for your brother to be oblivious enough not to suspect anything more than he already had, nonetheless you and Jake weren’t being that cautious about your ongoing relationship.

On the other side, the said man was patiently waiting for your arrival. He had just declined Heeseung and Sunghoon’s invitation to hang out as they usually did on Fridays, trying to sound as casual as possible when explaining you would be there soon to finish your studies, since you had exams the next week.

Bullshit. 

Jake was playing with fire. Taunting the devil. Flirting with danger. Whatever.

He had a vain certainty that Jay was suspecting your relationship with him, especially after the last encounter in your room where your brother’s eyes shifted briefly into something close to understanding beyond what he had seen. 

Still, Jake called you over, praying for the best outcome instead of facing whatever consequences Jay would make him go through once he finds out he has been sleeping with his little sister.

Jake wasn’t an only child, however, having an older brother didn’t do much to help him in portraying being in your place.

Of course he would go insane if he had a little sister and she started to screw around with a friend of his, especially if she tried to hide it. But Jake didn’t plan to be the asshole type, to use your body for his own satisfaction and discard you once he got bored, never. He couldn’t even create a thought about leaving you at that point. His heart beat for you, and you only. 

You became an important part of his life throughout the past weeks, months even. Since the moment you both allowed and agreed to the friends-with-benefits arrangement and it had evolved into something much deeper. Now, Jake found himself nurturing strongest feelings for you; it wasn’t only about the curves of your body, the smoothness of your skin, the longing to have you all over him, no. 

Jake could easily say he had fallen in love with you.

It was crazy how you got him wrapped around his finger – both abstractly and practically –, as if it was such an easy task to do. 

Life with you was way more interesting and enjoyable. Jake could spend hours fucking you, yes, definitely. But nothing compared to having your body snuggled against his, the shared warmth leaving no room for anxiety, tiredness or sorrow.

After a tough day, all Jake wanted was to be with you, cuddling while receiving your shower of kisses and hearing your giggles as you did so.

Jake fell deeply in love with every part of your personality: how determined you overall were and especially when it was about to win him over, how rational yet emotional you could be, how genuine and at the same time assertive you expressed yourself when talking about your hobbies.

Acts of service were your primary love language, and Jake loved how you put in effort to express affection in such a thoughtful way, since the shared routine made it extra hard to ease your side. 

Taking care of his tired body after he stayed on top of you for quite a long time, giving him water and cleaning him whole. Bringing his favorite coffee whenever he stopped to pick you up from college. 

When you both actually studied, you didn’t just listen to his explanations; you appreciated the effort he put into making even the most complex topics easy to understand. But more than that, you always did your best to make him feel comfortable. Whether it was adjusting the air conditioning when you saw him shivering or sweating, or quietly flipping the pages of the textbook when you noticed he had finished reading the last paragraph, your attention to detail never went unnoticed.

On a random day, Jake reached into his back pocket and found a small note you had quietly slipped there. It was a sweet declaration, simple but meaningful, words that reflected everything you didn’t always say out loud.

He knew that you worked best through actions, but the note reminded him of the affection that was always present in every little thing you did.

The sound of the doorbell ringing had Jake jumping off the couch, eager to greet you. As the door swung open, he gave you no chance to breathe, pulling you closer to lessen the longing of the warmth of your body, his lips crashing onto yours with a fervor that told you everything you needed to know for now. 

“Hi– To you– Too!–” You tried to mumble against the kiss, giggling at how desperate Jake was behaving while stumbling on your legs as you entered the house, struggling to follow his messy lead.

“Want you.” He whispered as a vain explanation, guiding you both to his room without a care in the world.

With a blink of a second your half-closed eyes caught his deep frown, and your smile faltered while your body tensed straightaway. It triggered a strange feeling in your chest to perceive Jake’s urgency. You sensed something was off, weird even; you had just left home under Jay's analytical gaze, knowing you were hiding a huge secret from him, one he could be absurdly close to discovering – or maybe he already had. Now, with Jake’s unforeseen demeanor, if you forced yourself hard enough to connect the dots, you would say the man kissing you was holding some information back.

Or atleast holding something back. 

“Wait, wait–” You tried to break the sloppy kiss by pushing Jake’s chest lightly, away enough to attempt to pry an explanation out of him without his mouth devouring yours. “What happened?”

Jake’s eyes roamed your concerned face briefly, a flicker of hesitation flashing before he smiled tenderly. His hands on your hips pressed the area ever so mildly, as though he fought a way to anchor him, as if he suddenly started fearing to lose your touch.

You didn’t buy his smile.

“Can’t a man miss his woman?”

His woman.

Though the manner of addressing you had your heart swirling in a sweet, thrilling carousel and your cheeks warming up, you couldn’t help the growing bittersweetness slowly and painfully swallowing your entire being. 

“Yes, you can,” you didn’t hold back your half-smile before your eyes softened, nearly teetering a probing, piercing one as your hands softly caressed Jake’s face. “But I feel like there’s something more.”

Jake’s breath hitched, not due to how intense he was kissing you just seconds ago, but mostly because you were so fucking right.

Jake had a problem sleeping last night after you confirmed you would visit him the next day. Excitement? No. Fear.

Inviting you over to his place felt like a way of grounding the relationship, making it real. Alongside the once-conflicted feelings that had now settled comfortably into love, there was the weight of responsibility to bring you into his world, to make it real for everyone, make it real to his best friend. To your brother.

Jake wasn’t exactly afraid of his friendship with Jay falling apart. Though hurtful, he for sure could find ways to live through it. He did worry about you. To Jay, you were family – true family, tied by blood. If things went wrong, you wouldn’t have the luxury of cutting ties; you would be forced to navigate whatever fallout happened. Jake hoped fervently that it wouldn’t come to that, that you wouldn’t have to face a harsh reality just because you both liked – loved – each other. 

Yet, a new sense of resolve was rising within him, making him believe that no matter the outcome, he would do whatever it took to keep you by his side. Fighting for you felt easy. Making you happy was his ultimate goal. 

Jake would cross oceans, move heaven and earth if that meant to stay with you.

So, you were right, because he was overthinking the possibility of telling Jay about your relationship. But before, there was going to be a relationship to begin with.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” 

Jake caught on your body shifting and backing away a little, your breath stuttering, eyes widening, wavering before his proposal. He found himself panicking within a snap prior to your silence, cursing internally for letting his feelings take over and the question to escape his lips.

A bit longer. Just a bit longer he should have waited to understand where you stood emotionally when the subject was the two of you, because beyond considering your feelings, Jay was in the equation as well, difficulting the possibilities of the said relationship to blossom. 

There was no coming back, though. The words flew out of his mouth, lingering in the air and weightening it as you quietly processed what you had just heard, wondering if you were tripping. 

Jake gulped and immediately started to ramble, fumbling over his words with a voice that broke a bit once and a while as he did so, trying to cover up the angushing lack of noises between you both.

To some extent, Jake feared you would somehow hear his heart beating in panic. 

“You don’t have to accept,” he began, his voice unsure, yet full of vulnerability. “I mean, we’re seeing each other almost everyday, and I really have feelings for you and maybe... Maybe you feel the same? For me?” He hesitated, puppy eyes wide and glistening with hope and desperation searching for any sign from you. He found nothing.

“L–Like, we’re having sex quite often and I like your company a lot,” he stammered. “I’d love to call you my girlfriend. I know there’s Jay and he’s your brother and he may not accept it, but I’m willing to–”

“Shut up.” You cut him off sharply by pressing a finger on his mouth.

A deep frown marked your forehead as you pondered thoughtfully, your gaze focusing on some random spot down the hallway behind Jake’s back, your mind racing.

Jake froze, eyes growing bigger at your reaction, his lips pursing together in a small, adorable pout that made your heart twist.

“Ok.”

You almost felt guilty for making him go through whatever was racing in his head; hearing his voice falter made your chest ache. At the same time, you couldn’t blame yourself, not when Jake had literally just asked you to be his girlfriend.

It was the question, the most important one of your life so far, the very one you had dreamed of hearing from him with his attractive Australian accent, nearly bordering a childish fantasy. 

“Please, just say something…” Jake pleaded, voice cracking with anxiety. “Even if it’s a no…”

His words hit you like a wave crashing onto rocks. Your head snapped towards his direction, your wide eyes shooting a skeptical, confused glance, increasing his own confusion. Jake tilted his head to the side, just like a puppy, and then the realization hit. 

“What?” You exclaimed, a hint of laughter tempting to burst out. “No! Babe, no…”

There was a clear layer of desperation on your voice now, as you shook your head frantically and sweetly placed countless kisses on Jake’s plump lips, cupping his face gently to keep him steady. He tried to ignore how his chest burned deliciously with the pet name.

“God, no, I’d never say no,” you muttered, his breath of relief fanning your face kindly, enough to ease your own heart. “I was just… Taken aback. I never expected my lifelong crush to ask me to be his girlfriend,” you giggled as you said, feeling a fluster creep up your neck towards your face. 

Jake’s half-open eyes enjoyed the tenderness touch you showered him with, but then he suddenly dropped to something similar to confusion again, pulling back just slightly to look you in the eyes.

“Sorry, lifelong crush? Me?” His voice was a mix of disbelief and amusement. 

You laughed again, the sound light and full of affection before you hid yourself on the crook of his perfumed neck; the scent easing your senses right away. 

“Yes, you,” you mumbled, shyly. “You– You have been on my mind for quite a long time, Jaeyun,” to admit it out loud had you even more embarrassed, so you choose not to pinpoint precisely when. Not for now. Gladly, he didn’t push you as well. He would make the most of it later on.

“So…” He trailed off, pushing you off your hideout to offer you the most beaming expression you ever saw him having.

Jake was so, so gorgeous, with his wide, contagious smile, the soft curve at the ends framing it perfectly. Eyes sparkling with adoration, giving you the most tender and expectant look.

“Yes, Jake. I’d like to be your girlfriend.”

“Mhm,” he nodded, feigning a cool, relaxed demeanor you both knew wasn’t actually true, trying to hide the actual urge to jump like crazy behind a mischievous smirk. You arched an eyebrow, expectation growing slowly in your chest. “Where should I first take you as my girlfriend now?”

You giggled, biting your bottom lip with a naughty smile as you felt your heart palpitating harder; Jake would always be your crush after all. And to know you had him as your boyfriend only increased your arousal amidst the unfolding talk.

“How about your room, mhm?” A finger slowly traced his jawline, eyes dropping to something more intense. “Bet you have a lot of physics stuff in there, am I right?” 

Jake laughed at your subtly mocking, yet naive words, especially because you both knew you weren’t wrong at all – and where that type of conversation would lead.

“Oh, you have no idea, darling,” he shot back, mirroring your tone as he pressed you back against his bedroom door, pushing it open with a deliberate motion. “Gotta show you how physics explains some… very special positions, yeah?”

You weren’t entirely sure how it happened, since things with Jake usually escalated quickly once your lips met, but now he was hovering over you, his firm body pressing you into the bed, kissing you slowly and consumingly, as his fingers roamed over every centimeter of exposed skin.

You were well aware of how tempted Jake was by your legs – one of the reasons you had chosen that particular skirt – but you were uncertain if you would ever get used to how he grasped at you, his fingers digging in as though he needed to pull you closer, as if he desperately wanted to break the laws of physics and turn you both into one single body, occupying the same space.

Each time he rocked forward, grinding himself against you in search of any fleeting relief, waves of heat and excitement coursed through your veins straight to your core.

When a soft moan escaped, the noise vanished in between the heated touch and Jake lost composure. His mouth left yours only to travel lower, finding the sensitive line of your neck, lips pressing eagerly, his tongue tracing over the spots he knew would make you shiver, followed by a soft scrape of his teeth as he teased every weak point with deliberate care.

Your nails dug into his shoulder as your head fell back onto his pillow, granting him full access, your other hand tangling in the softness of his brown locks, gently tugging as his lips moved with purpose. But Jake’s impatience was hard to miss. He drifted down to your jawline, then lower, hands trying to slip beneath your sweater in an attempt to feel more of you.

“No,” you tugged his head back by his hair. “No, no, no. Listen, I get you’re excited and believe me, I am too, but–” You tried to speak between the sloppy kisses Jake continued planting along your jaw, a clear attempt to quiet you. “We have to study.”

“Please,” he breathed, a whine escaping him, not giving a care about how tight you gripped his strands, lowering himself, nuzzling his nose against the fabric of your sweater. “Please, I need you. I need to feel you.”

“We have to study.” You echoed what you just said and somehow it seemed to be rather to bring you back from the blissful lust than to take Jake away from it.

“Please,” with a plea, Jake locked his eyes onto yours, his voice thick with desperation.

You swallowed nothing as you saw deep, raw, intense desire once you met his gaze.

Jake had his two beautiful orbs oozing with craving, with need. His jaw was clenched, his features somewhat sharper under the dim light of his room. The sight nearly made you moan aloud, perhaps longing to have Jake between your legs more than him himself. 

The blaze in your stomach increased as he leaned down slowly, fierce eyes still glazed onto yours, little by little decreasing the distance between his face and your still covered cunt, teasing to get under your skirt.

You knew exactly what Jake wanted. He had hinted at it so many times it was almost impossible not to relent. And yet, despite the power he somehow had over your decisions in moments like these, sending you easily into a haze of desire, you were a woman of your word.

“No,” you murmured, reluctantly pushing his head away and sitting up. “Do you remember our deal?”

Jake's gaze flickered, torn between your tempting thighs with the pretty skirt framing them perfectly and the inflexible expression on your face, the frustration evident. God, he could already picture himself getting lost in between your legs, your thighs squishing his head because he was pleasuring you so good. And preferably wearing the exact same skirt you wore.

“Fine,” he huffed, rolling his eyes like a scolded child. “Let’s study so you can ace that fucking exam.”

You bit back a grin as you read Jake’s pouty face, reaching over to grab the collar of his white shirt and pull his body onto yours one last time, starting a slow, savoring kiss. You sucked his bottom lip within a quiet smack sound as you drew back.

“Sorry, can’t help myself,” you muttered with a cheeky smile, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. 

Your eyes tracked the motion of his tongue sweeping across his swollen, reddened lips, stealing any lingering remnant of your taste before standing on his foot.

“You’re trouble,” he said while offering you a hand. “And I like that.”

When he headed you over his desk, you smirked, ignoring the slap he gifted your ass with before sitting. 

“So, sound waves, huh?” you purred, fingers tracing over the open page before looking up at him with a playful glint. “I’m curious how you’d explain it to me.”

Jake would always follow the same flow. He would start with you beside him, explaining the concepts from the book in simple terms, and you would initially go along, absorbing the material through the practical examples Jake offered so effortlessly.

But then your attention would start to drift – to the way his lips moved, the soft, deep resonance of his voice that seemed to echo through your entire body, the way his slender fingers moved as he gestured with every point he made... And soon, Jake would begin to lose his composure, deciding to take a far more hands-on approach to his “teaching.”

After a call from Jay asking what was taking so long for you to go home – an unusual demeanor that got goosebumps spreading over your skin – and a lame excuse that you were deeply focused on reviewing the materials for your exam, you ended up back on Jake’s bed, on all fours with his hardened, throbbing dick pounding fast into you.

“The louder you scream,” Jake thrusted deep, hitting your g-spot tirelessly, making you cry his name out just like he was saying. “The greater the amplitude of the sound waves. It carries more e–energy.”

“Fuck, Jake,” you rolled your eyes, though no one could actually see you doing that. 

Your hands clutched the colorful sheets underneath you as a way to keep yourself sane, to maintain your conscience stable and grounded; you doubted you wouldn’t even remember your name, nonetheless. It was hard to think of anything else other than Jake’s name being chanted by your tired throat, Jake’s dick buried deep into you, Jake’s hands grasping your hips to keep you still, Jake’s desperate moans, searching for his release. Jake was everywhere. 

“So– deep–” You whined, your walls clenching around his length, your dripping juices coating precisely each part of it. 

“Yeah, babe?” Jake’s voice dropped an octave, squeezing your hips hard enough to leave marks. The fleeting thought made him groan, because it sounded like you were his propriety. “Like my cock deep into your pussy, mhm?”

“Fucking hell, yes,” you faltered on your arms, dropping almost completely on the bed if wasn’t for Jake’s steady grip on your waist. 

You could feel his dick twitching inside your cunt, the realization he was getting close sparking up in between the haze bliss you were going through, lost in pure, raw desire. Jake was fucking you so good.

“So fucking perfect,” Jake managed to say with trembling voice and between groans before his rhythm grew frantic, uneven, irregular. “My good girl, isn’t that right?”

You agreed within a mumble, not able to form proper words, eliciting a chuckle from Jake. 

“I want your cum,” you said muffled, somehow finding strength to force your body back and meet Jake’s thrusts. “I want it so bad, Jakey–”

After testing words, dirty talks, movements, even decisions when sharing those moments with Jake, you managed to select a few things you could do to drive him insane, near the edge almost instantly. So it took just a few pumps for you to be filled with Jake’s warm liquid, his orgasm hitting strong as he threw his head back, choking in between a long, delicious moan. He held you still, his dick deep into you as his body shuddered, hips stuttering while he enjoyed his overwhelming pleasure. 

With a hiss Jake released you from his grip, removing his length slowly, eliciting a discontent whine from you since not only you didn’t cum, but also felt the immediate lack of fulfillment and the feeling of his seed dripping down your legs. His hooded eyes were blurry, but he caught a brief view of it together with your slightly bruised skin before dropping his exhausted body onto the bed. Hot.

You quietly watched as he laid near you, how his chest rose and fell heavily, the known silver necklace moving together with it; you took the opportunity to come back to yourself, regulating your own breathing and regaining control of your body – deep down you knew Jake was just getting ready to give you your own climax. However, a mischievous plan popped into your mind and you couldn’t let it slide so easily, not when you finally had the chance of hearing him screaming your name without fearing your brother. 

“Lemme ride you,” you muttered suddenly and moved to position yourself on top of Jake, hands finding support on his torso, straddling with a knee on each side of his body.

“Babe, wait a bit–” He said within a frown, but not really doing anything to stop you; he just rested his palms on your waist, watching you grab his slightly softened shaft to align on his lower stomach. “Doll, please–” When you wiggled your hips to fit your wet, warm folds in his cock and started to deliberately grind, he nearly screamed. “Please, stop–”

Your eyes darted over his contorted face, not halting your movements as you did so, a soft moan leaving your mouth.

Such a lustful sight. Jake had his beautiful and swollen lips parted, silent, whispered pleas escaping it as his brows furrowed deeper; eyes closed tightly, cheeks flustered and breaths coming out ragged, mixed with airy moans that only intensified as you started to rut back and forth faster.

“Please, babe, ‘m sensitive–” 

Jake felt his head spinning, quite literally as he squirmed and abstractly, nonsense words cutting through the thick air, because, God, it felt so strangely good to be overstimulated by you. 

“Do you want me to really stop, Jakey?” You asked sweetly, yet a bit concerned that he was actually not enjoying it as you leaned forward to suck the skin of his sensitive neck.

He moaned. Like, really moaned and shook his head frantically.

“Mhm, fuck–” You lifted your body again just in time to catch his eyes rolling and fluttering close. “D–Don’t you dare to, fuck, to stop–” 

You kept on rolling your hips with a grin dancing on your lips. Jake’s sensitive tip touched your clit even so often, provoking your body to spasm a little. You aimed to get him hard again, so you could finally fuck yourself and achieve your orgasm, and because of the earlier interaction of your bodies you weren’t that far from coming.

Jake opened his eyes lazily, taking in the view of your exposed chest that quickly was being abused by his big hands, pinching your hardened nipples and kneading the soft flesh of them. You threw your head back, mouth falling open with the feeling of Jake touching almost everywhere.

At some point, Jake’s length was completely stiff beneath you and you took no time to position you in your pulsing hole, sinking in one go that had you and Jake throwing heads back with loud moans. 

Your breath was irregular when you propped your hands on each side of Jake’s face, starting to bounce in an unwavering pace that, together with the way you locked eyes with Jake, fierce and full of determination to finish, got him moaning within a smirk, proudly.

“Look at you,” Jake cooed at you, his voice hoarse, hands raising to tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear to give him the full view of your pleasant contorted face.

“Yes, that's it,” he encouraged, sliding his fingers down your sides, squeezing it mildly; his lips stretching into a bigger smirk when you started to whimper and clench around his length. “Ride it, baby. Use me to get yourself off.”

And so you did, speeding up your rhythm as you chased desperately for your own release and consequently led Jake towards his – he was extra reactive due to the overstimulation, so at that point he was practically holding himself back not to cum again, craving to keep on feeling your tight walls squeezing his dick and eventually you creaming it.

Jake was big, hard and deliciously leaking inside you, his tip reaching your g-spot with ease and constancy, enough to make you start to scream as your moans grew louder. When his slender fingers found their place on your clit, rubbing fast circles to help you out, you couldn’t help but close your eyes with your mouth agape, a blender of whimpers and whines melodically falling from your lips as your arms began to fail to hold you in that position, making you slightly falter forward.

“J–Jake– ugh, fuck, so fucking good–” You stammered amidst cries of pleasure, feeling the coil in your low stomach teasing a strong build up.

At the same time your thighs began to burn, frustration emerging together with your desperation to cum, your own body betraying your release as you wavered the pace. Within seconds Jake took notice of how exhausted you were starting to act, and in no world he would let his girl down, so to maintain the same posture he propped his legs up, feet planted on his bed as he whispered for you to stop for a second.

“Just… Trust me,” he mumbled after seeing your confused face while letting go of your sensitive bundle of nerves from his skilled fingers to grab your ass, full hands in each cheek, holding you still as he started to push himself upwards.

You rolled your eyes quite instantly, letting your body fall onto his, your face finding its place on the curve of his pretty neck, where you started to pant and messily kiss in between your heavy breaths. Jake was leading the entire moves, pushing you down and pulling him up, heavenly deep. 

Each desperate, frantic, urgent thrust was leading you closer to your climax; you could sense it was going to be a strong one, and your whiny moans gave it away for Jake, who found himself teetering the edge as well.

“Close– ‘m close– So close–” He cried, feeling his dick leaking precum already. 

With a snap you let it go completely, your body shaking in uneven spasms as your juices fully coated Jake’s length within a long, striking moan. His own release followed yours, since your clenching cunt and the lewd wet noises as he rode you through your high left no room for any sanity or self-control. 

Jake’s big hands squeezed the flesh of your ass, shoving his cum inside you and the rhythm slowly faltered, hips stuttering as the last waves of pleasure coursed through both of you.

The room suddenly shrank as you both started to deliberately drift away from the blissful raze of raw arousal, nearly gasping for air as you did so. 

“Don’t pull out,” your words sounded more slurred than you expected, but the sweet silence in the air helped Jake to understand you, still experiencing the aftershocks of his orgasm.

“Holy.” 

It was everything he managed to say before the quietness took over again. You felt Jake caressing your bare back, slowly and tenderly, filled with an affection you wanted to receive only from him, fluttering the butterflies in your belly.

Eventually he was stroking your hair and hugging you close, his length still inside of you, prolonging the amazing sensation of being full. And somehow, you fell in love even harder.

“So that’s what freedom tastes like?” You heard Jake mumbling against your ear after a while, his honeyed voice cutting through the air kindly, and a tired laugh escaped your lips.

You couldn’t help the small sting in your heart as you heard the question, afterall, none of those escaping and hiding moments would be happening if he wasn’t your brother’s best friend. You wanted to be able to love Jake openly. And hoped he could love you back just as much. 

“Yeah…” You whispered within a broken smile that Jake didn’t catch. 

“I may grow addicted to it.”

Jake wanted you to stay for the night, caring little to nothing about whatever could happen if Sunghoon and Heeseung found out. But you weren’t worried about them that much, you could easily coax your way out of it. 

You were frightened of your brother. 

So after a soothing warm shower to calm your nerves and with Jake reassuring you that the excuse you had created was perfectly convincing, you headed back, praying for Jay to be sleeping already or, even better: not at home. 

You moved as quietly as possible, trying not to make a sound while unlocking the door, like a teenager sneaking in after breaking curfew, heart racing in anticipation of being caught.

It was so weird to have that feeling, to hide things from your brother, the one you trusted blindly because he would never judge you. Still, the situation was fragile, unusual. It was a new territory where if you pushed too far, the consequences could be far worse than you were prepared to handle.

Jake somehow eased your stirring anxiety with his sweet words and calming voice when he embraced you in a last comforting hug before you left. 

“He would never be mad at you, darling.”

With Jake’s voice whispering tenderly in your head like a mantra, you finally opened the front door, stepping into the darkness of your apartment. 

A deep sigh of relief escaped as you closed the door behind you, careful not to make a sound, the faint click of the lock triggering a shiver that quickly vanished as you realized you might be alone. You could practically feel how your tensed shoulders loosed as you started to casually slip off your boots.

“So, how was it with Jake?”

You froze in place, back turned to where the voice came from.

Jay.

The lights suddenly turned on, but you had no courage to turn and face your brother, especially after feeling the burning sensation on your back that told you he was staring unwaveringly. The question hung in the air, thick and tense, as much as your body began to feel right after. His voice wasn’t accusing, but it still carried an underlying heavy weight you feared to understand completely. 

"It was fine," you forced out, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out thin, shaky. The lie tasted bitter on your tongue as you unfortunately became aware it wasn’t enough to fool him. Not anymore. “W–We studied sound waves and… Watched a documentary. About it. He ordered food too… It was… Cool.”

Your sentences were barely coercive. Unstable, insecure, because your mind was no longer working properly.  Telling blatant lies was something you never imagined yourself doing to Jay, and you certainly couldn’t consider yourself good at it at all. 

Still, you pushed through, trying your hardest to sound convincing, desperately hoping to make it through the day. Your body was screaming for a proper rest, drained from the adrenaline and energy spent earlier that Jay was oblivious so far.

Maybe the next day would be easier – maybe confronting Jay wouldn’t feel so impossible.

“Yeah?” Jay muttered and you finally turned on your heels to look at him.

He was leaning on the wall, smiling – but not a very pleasant smile. He had his hands shoved inside his trousers’ pockets, jaw clenched, eyes fierce, cutting through you as if he read your deepest secrets. You gulped nervously, hands starting to tremble; you could feel your heart pounding in your eardrums. 

“Did he teach you about sound waves while you screamed his fucking name?”

Your instant reaction was to almost mutter a quiet and confused “how did you know?”, your face dropping as the panic started to crawl in your skin. You just got caught and you had nowhere to run.

“Did he tell you two were alone, Y/N?”

Your heart dropped to your stomach immediately as he questioned and started to walk. Each step Jay took towards you felt like a heavy drumbeat, as if time had slowed down painfully, weightening the atmosphere absurdly, grounding you way too much; it felt as though heavy shackles with iron balls were bound to each of your feet, holding you in a way that left you suffocated and powerless. Excruciatingly overwhelming. 

“Because you probably were.” He stopped in front of you, his nostrils moving within each ragged breath. You could picture the haze of pure anger his mind got lost through his fierce eyes, eyes that never left yours. “During the first hour.” He added between gritted teeth and you shivered, your eyes widening as you took a step back, fearing falling because as realization hit, you practically felt the ground being pulled from beneath your feet.

There was no way Jake had lied to you, right? Leading you into a trap just to ruin your relationship with your brother. Why would he do that? You couldn't believe it, because that wasn’t the Jake you knew – it wasn’t the Jake who had just asked you to be his girlfriend with eyes shining with passion before giving you one of the most heartfelt kisses you had ever experienced. Jake wouldn’t do that.

How did your brother find out, then?

Jay shook his head slightly, his expression hardening further before a bitter, dry laugh escaping his pursed lips. He saw the look of disbelief in your eyes, the shock written all over your face and he read it precisely.

"No, Jake didn’t tell me,” he explained briefly to your racing thoughts. “He just didn’t know Sunghoon would be home earlier than expected."

Jay, though clearly upset, spoke with an edge of reassurance. His voice was low, barely concealing the tension and irritation simmering beneath it, still, worried about you.

A cold wave sprang in your chest as the realization struck like a bolt of lightning, your body quivering with fear and your wide, glistening eyes teasing to collapse in tears. You felt exposed. Vulnerable. Your secret was no longer a secret, and you instantly cursed yourself for holding it secretly to begin with.

Stupid, dumb, idiot.

Jay took a deep breath and you, another step back, trying to run away from the radiating rage coming out of his frightening presence. Jay was bigger and taller than you, and right at that moment, you felt even smaller.

“Do you have any idea of what it's like to find out that my little sister is screwing around with my best friend? And worse – hiding it from me?”

Jay didn’t yell, in fact his voice was dropping an octave, low as possible, and was more than enough to leave you on the verge of crying, your eyes stung, averting his angry ones. You lowered your head.

“I'm sorry, Jay, I–”

“Wasn't thinking correctly? Didn't think I'd find out? Cut off with your lame excuses, Y/N.” 

It was the first time Jay talked to you with such a cold tone, sharp as a knife, yet quiet. Something about the fact that he was mad, and still had a lowkey calm voice triggered the worst on you. 

“You lied to me, Y/N. Lied.” His voice faltered, but only for a moment. The raw emotion in his words was enough to pierce through the façade he had been trying to maintain, his eyes glimmering with tears, bringing the worst from your own feelings towards the situation.

Your breath hitched, the sting of betrayal and guilt washing over you. Unfortunately though, Jay wasn’t finished. 

“We promised not to lie to each other, Y/N. And you broke that promise.” His eyes burned into you, like they were seeing right through the walls you had built to shield yourself, the same barriers Jay once helped you to create, to feel stronger before the ones who tried to destroy your dreams. To destroy you.

For seconds, you saw your parents on Jay. For a brief moment, you pictured your younger self being scolded for your small mistakes and decisions, never being good enough. For the slightest millisecond, you hated your brother.

“Go to your room.”

You lifted your confused eyes only to see Jay cleaning his tears with the back of his hand. 

“Are you grounding me?” You asked quietly, but a hint of angriness stirred to snap out. 

Jay chuckled again, humorless. “No,” he gave you a last look with a mild head shake. “I just can’t see you now,” his sincerity was like a slap on your face. And you had no doubt that receiving one would hurt way less. “And you’re old enough to know you’ve fucked things up big time.”

Saying you cried all night would be an understatement. Having feelings for Jake now felt like a bittersweet ache, hard to swallow and to have close to you. You couldn’t help but get into a spiral of darker thoughts.

Was it worth it?

part 2

[atxxokirina]

Boyfriend's Brother (pt.2)

Lo'ak x Fem Omatikayan reader | 18+, MDNI

contains: oral (m receiving) deepthroat, cheating, reader's heat approaching, breath play, dom/rough lo'ak, let me know if i missed anything.

part one here

After dinner, you, Lo'ak, and a couple of others were stuck doing chores around the village. You just wanted to go back to your hut and rest, but he's been teasing you nonstop. You couldn't really pinpoint why he was doing this again, but you had some sort of idea.

-

3 days ago, an argument between you and Neteyam.

The two of you stood behind the backwoods of the forest, bickering back and forth. "But why? I don't see why you can't just fight this for me!" You yelled at your partner, eyebrows furrowed and body pulsing with anger. "Y/n, I-I'm sorry, my dad needs me to go. You know how he is, please understand." Neteyam pleads. His father and a group of other warriors had been planning a hunting trip for some time, but of course it fell on the day your heat would arrive. You scoff in disbelief. "Neteyam, my heat is coming soon, you can't just leave!" Your lips quiver as you choked back a cry. "Please?" In the midst of your sentence, you spot a familiar figure in the clearing. Squinting your eyes to get a better look, you instantly recognize the man spying on you.

Lo'ak. Great. Of course he's the one who ends up seeing this.

You've started to tune out your boyfriend, all of his excuses and worthless attempts at making you feel better. You subconsciously stare back at Lo'ak, who gives you a sly smirk before walking off. "Y/n are you even listening?" Neteyam waved his hands in your face, snapping you out of your trance. You sigh, folding your arms and looking Neteyam dead in his eyes. "It's fine, do what you want. I don't care." You say without hesitation, but your tone surely implies that you're conflicted. "It's not like you can't miss a single hunting retreat, right?? Not like you go to every single fucking one?!" You raised your voice, frustration making your face heat up. "You know what? Just go do what your daddy wants. Like you always do." You spoke under your breath, stomping away.

-

And since that day, Lo'ak has been giving you subtle hints that he wants you again. The entire night, he'd been tugging his loincloth down when you were looking, making sure that you got a good eyeful of his v-line. "Accidentally" brushing his hand across your ass whenever he'd walk by. It was.. frustrating, to say the least. You might have liked the rush it gave you, but you weren't in the mood for him, or his little games.

After setting up a bonfire for the village, you step back and take a moment to admire your work, confident that everything is in place, and now you can finally go home and rest. Turning around, you see Lo'ak who's now standing behind you, his tall figure pressing against you as he snakes his arms around your waist. "I know what you're trying to do, Lo'ak. Just leave me alone." You sigh, unlatching his grip and walking off. but He pulls you back by your arm, earing a gasp from you as your backside presses against him. "That’s too bad," he tilts his head, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“I was actually hoping to catch you alone tonight," He pushes his hips into you now, making sure that you feel him growing. "I saw what happened the other day." He grunts at the feeling of your ass being backed up against him. "I know you saw me there baby. It's not fair, is it? He doesn't even try for you.." Lo'ak grazes his fangs against your neck, his breath making you shudder under him.

Your eyes flutter shut, feeling extra submissive as you practically melt under his touch. "I'll make you feel good again, how about that, huh? Better than my brother was ever able to." His hands begin to find your chest, trailing down to your cleavage. You wanted this, you wanted this so fucking bad. Lo'ak's hands weren't stopping anytime soon, either. They only traveled lower. And since you were still out in the open, you had to make your choice fast.

"Okay," You finally speak, a breath following after. "Take me." After those words, he turns your body around, pushing you into the direction of his hut. Walking in behind you, he shoves your body onto the cot like it's nothing. You gulp, not sure what he plans to do next, but it still gets you hot.

Lo'ak climbs on top of you, staring down at you with a dark gaze. He looks at you like a Palulukan ready to devour it's prey. Before you know it, he's pulling at your top with force. The beads attached fly off, causing you to flinch. "I made that piec-" His palm comes up to your mouth, shutting you up in an instant.

You struggled against his hand, words coming out in muffles. Your eyebrows furrowed as you shook your head at him, lifting your body up. "Lo'ak, wait-" He stops you again, shoving your body back down and keeping his muscley arm on your chest. He straddles your waist, moving his lower body up to your face and staring down at you with a dark look in eye. "You're gonna good, and take what I fucking give you," he began untying his loincloth, once he got it loose, he pulls it down, dick springing out to meet your mouth. "Understand?" Lo'ak aligns his member with your lips, teasing the tip as he groans.

You hesitantly nod your head, pupils fully blown as you maintained eye contact. He looks down at you, grabbing your chin with force and squeezing.

"I didn't hear you. Do. You. Understand?" Lo'ak demanded an answer. His tone deep and intimidating. "Y-Yes, yes I understand" You said below a whisper. He releases your jaw and gives your cheek a soft slap. "Good girl."

"Now," He pushes his cock into your mouth, leaning his head back and moaning at the warmth radiating from inside your mouth. "I'm gonna fuck this cute throat of yours" he declares. "And then, later on.. I'm gonna take this sweet cunt again." Lo'ak finally thrusts his cock deeper, the mushroomy tip kissing your uvula while you choke. "Mhhmmm.. take this fucking dick down your throat." You coughed as he continued to jab the back of your throat, saliva dribbling to your chin.

His thrusts feel endless, his cock is filling the entirety of your mouth now, not giving you a chance to breath. "Lo-!" You try to speak. He's distracted by your hot mouth. Grunting at each advancement his hips make. "Yeah.. hnnghh.. yeah", he moans in a low tone. You're trying to form a sentence, but it's impossible with the amount of relentless pounding, along with the overwhelming spit. Your vision is getting blurry, feeling like you're going to pass out, you can hardly breathe.

Lo'ak hears your cries and the way you cough, but he couldn't care less. He's so focused on his climax that all he wants to do is fuck your pretty throat. He now grips both sides of your head, face fucking you into oblivion, which only causes you to cry out more. "Pleaseeee!" You beg, but you don't know what for. He looks down to see your tear filled eyes and grins at the sight. "You're so.. mngh!" One hard thrust that makes you scream on his cock. "..fucking hot."

"Hmh.. gonna cum, gonna cum down your throat." He speeds up, squeezing your head, fucking it like your pussy. Now you're really going to pass out. Your heart is pounding, you've never felt so scared, yet so horny in your life. You flail your arms, kick your legs, and attempt to pry his hands off of your face.

"Stop wriggling, bitch!" Lo'ak grunts, holding your body down and placing his leg on your chest to ensure you stay still. He chucked as your movements slowed, "That's right." He seems to be enjoying this, oh yeah, he's gotta be. After a few more rough hits into your mouth, he releases a loud, long groan of pleasure. You felt his tip twitching at the roof of your mouth as his warm, slimy cum spews in your mouth. "Fuuckkkk.. take it, take all of my cum, ohhh s-shit" He sighed as his hips stutter.

Pulling out of your mouth with a pop, he shuts your jaw before any of his liquid can seep out. "Swallow it all." He tells you, somehow still admiring you in this state. "I.. I c-an't." You try to respond with a mouth full of seed, he closes your jaw again. "I said, swallow." Lo'ak's tone is becoming more husk, he tilts your head back, causing the cum in your mouth to reach the back of your throat. You almost cough, but his large hands keep your jaw closed.

He watches as your throat contracts, humming in content as you gulp. You look at him, eyes puffy and red from crying. "I don't care if you're tired, we aren't done yet." He reaches to wipe your cheek, beaming down at you. "I'm gonna keep this pussy full of my cock all week."

[ruth-writes]

ruthswip

Chapter 3: Alex's POV

Content warnings: physical abuse, depression

            I don’t know what I was expecting when I finally arrived at the hospital, but I wasn’t ready for the three strangers sitting by Jamie’s bed. There was a man and a woman to his right, and a teenager who was holding one of his hands as it hung limply from the side. The sight almost made me break down.

            All three of them turned to look at me as I walked into the room. “Hi!” the woman said in a voice kind enough that it felt fake. “Are you here to see Jamie?”

            I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Sorry, who are you?”

            The woman’s smile wavered, but the tone of her voice didn’t change. She nodded towards the kid holding Jamie’s hand. “Holden’s his boyfriend, and we’re his parents.”

            Boyfriend? Jamie couldn’t have a boyfriend. He never talked to anyone. “Oh. „Well, thanks for staying with him,” I said, hoping they would get the hint. I pulled up a chair next to the apparent boyfriend and took a close look at Jamie for the first time in months.

            I could barely contain a scream. I knew it would be bad, but there was nothing I could have done to prepare myself for seeing it. His face was so swollen from the bruises, it was barely recognizable, and the bandages on his chest indicated broken ribs. Jesus Christ, how could I have let this happen?

            “Fuck,” I said, frantically wiping tears away with my sleeve, but it was hopeless. I gave up and let them fall, ignoring the three people watching me. Why didn’t they just fucking leave? I wanted to hold Jamie’s hand, but the stupid kid wouldn’t let go. Instead, once my sobs started subsiding he asked accusingly, “How do you know Jamie again?”

            “Holden,” his dad snapped, but he brushed it off.

            “What? I’m just asking!”

            God, I really couldn’t deal with a hormonal teenager right now. “I’m his brother,” I told them flatly, and it thankfully made Holden shut up.

            “C’mon, Holden,” his mom said, getting up. His dad followed suit. “Let’s give them some space.”

            He didn’t budge. “I’m not leaving Jamie,” he said defiantly. No matter how much I hated him right now, I had to respect it. Whoever he was, it was clear how much he cared for Jamie.

            “Holden, I’m not arguing with you,” she snapped. “Outside. Now.”

            Holden looked uncertain, but still didn’t move. The mom looked like she was ready to blow a fuse when my Mom walked through the door.

            “What are you doing here?” I snapped, forgetting everyone else in the room as I felt a tsunami of rage rising from my toes to my chest. I jumped to my feet to stand between her and Jamie, my clammy hands balled into fists.

            She had the nerve to give me a surprised smile. “Alexander! I thought you were in Michigan!”

            “Get out,” I said, my nails digging into the palms of my hands.

            She didn’t move. “I came to see- “

            I lost it. A boyfriend I’d never met was one thing, but her? “Get out!” I screamed. She looked at me in shock, and I wasn’t even done. “Listen to me,” I growled, my voice cracking. “There is no way in hell I’m letting you anywhere near him ever again.”

            She swallowed and took a step back. I took one forwards. “Alexander- “

            “Shut the fuck up!” I screamed at her again. “I leave for five fucking months, and you let this happen? Why the fuck are you even here? You don’t care about either of us.”

            She didn’t waste energy trying to deny it. Instead, her fake innocent expression morphed into an unreadable poker face. The same one she wore when watching John have one of his fits. “What do you want to do, then?”

            “He’s gonna come and live with me,” I stated, leaving no room for an argument.

            She looked at me like someone would look at a toddler who’d just claimed they were gonna rule the world someday. “With what money?” she asked.

            “Yours,” I said like it was obvious, even though I was making this up as I went. “You owe us that much.”

            She snorted. “Sweetie, you know John’s never gonna go for that.”

            It occurred to me that with both me and Jamie gone, she would probably become the primary target of his rage. I didn’t know how I felt about that, but it definitely wasn’t my problem. “Well, figure it out. It’s your money, not his.”

            “Or what?” she countered challengingly.

            “Or I’ll take you to fucking court,” I replied smoothly. “And everyone’ll know you were complicit in your children’s abuse.”             She considered it, then said, “Fine. Call me when you’re ready to talk about the details without screaming at me.” She took one last look at me, Jamie, and the hospital room, then she was gone. Just like that, our mom was out of our life.

[mellyssageversee]

Noble Hearts - Prologue

ZoSan Royal Au (Repost from old blog)

AO3 link

Summary: The threat of famine looms over the Kuraigana Kingdom as resources dwindle. Suspicion grips the royal Mihawk family when the prosperous Germa Kingdom offers aid by means of a transactional alliance. As tensions rise, the unforeseen connection between two princes may decide the fate of their kingdoms.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

WARNING: Violence

The midday sun bathed the tranquil gardens of the Vinsmoke Castle in a warm glow. Sanji, disheveled and bruised, was held in the familiar arms of his mother, Queen Sora. Tears streamed down his cheeks, dripping off his chin like soft raindrops.

"I'm so sick and tired of training," Sanji sobbed, his voice muffled against his mother's shoulder. "Dad is always comparing me to the others."

Sanji closed his eyes as his mother's gentle fingers combed the tangles from his hair. Moments like these soothed the sadness within him. In her embrace, there were no harsh demands to push his body to its breaking point and there was no relentless torment inflicted by his brothers.

"He just wants you to be the best you can be." Sora's words offered a feeble attempt at comfort, but even Sanji could detect the hint of doubt in her voice.

“Why can’t I be like them?!” Sanji grit his teeth. His shoulders tensed and he curled into himself. “Not just the training. I hate that I have to care so much, and dad hates that I’m always crying.”

“Don’t dwell too deeply on such matters,” she urged, her hand cradling his tear-stained cheek. “Embracing your emotions can never be a flaw.”

“But mom…”

“Listen to me,” Sora insisted, her voice firm yet gentle. “Retaining your kind and empathetic nature is a strength, not a weakness. Though emotions may cause pain, they also grant you strength. You may not see it now, but our people will come to admire you for your sincerity and compassion.”

Sanji averted his gaze, unable to meet his mother's eyes. Despite her earnest plea for him to embrace his emotions, he found little solace in her words. He understood that her attempt to comfort him stemmed from her own need for reassurance. He couldn't shake the memories of his parents' frequent arguments, his father's harsh words directed at Sora for her gentle spirit and her inclination to help others. Those heated exchanges often ended with his father blaming her for what he perceived as Sanji's 'defective' personality.

Sora fell silent, as if searching for more words of solace to offer Sanji.

"How about we skip the rest of your training for the day?"

Sanji blinked away his tears, his gaze meeting hers shyly.

"Won't I get in trouble?" he questioned softly.

"Don’t worry about that. I’ll deal with your father." Sora said, firmly placing her hands on his shoulders. Sanji smiled, surprised by how much his mother’s reassurance temporarily eased the knot of anxiety in his chest. "Now, what would you like to do? We can spend some time in the kitchens if you like. Zeff tells me you are quite the little chef."

Sora playfully pulled at his cheek and Sanji couldn't help but swat her hand away with a giggle.

"I want to walk to the beach!" Sanji exclaimed eagerly.

"That’s a pretty far walk. Are you sure you wouldn’t want to take the carriage there?" Sora questioned with a raised brow, her concern tinged with a hint of amusement.

"I want to spend as much time with you as possible." Sanji replied with unwavering resolve. Although he longed for quality time with his mother, a deeper desire lingered within him; the long walk to the beach would provide more time away from his father’s overbearing nature, granting him a precious moment of freedom he desperately craved.

"My Sanji, you are too sweet," Sora reached for Sanji’s hand, offering it a gentle squeeze. Her smile radiating warmth. "If we leave now then we can be back in time for dinner."

The two left the garden to embark on their short journey. The sky stretched bright and blue above them, adorned with wisps of delicate clouds. The sun cast its warm rays upon them, a gentle breeze danced through the air, caressing their faces with its comforting touch. Tall grass swayed rhythmically, brushing against Sanji's knees as they strolled hand in hand toward the beach, Sanji's eyes sparkled with excitement as he shared his newfound interest with his mother.

"What nonsense is he filling in your head now?" Sora chuckled fondly.

"It’s not nonsense. It’s called the All Blue, and Zeff said that fish from all four seas reside there." Sanji insisted with a pout.

Sora’s eyes crinkled with amusement. Another bell-like laugh escaped her lips, the sound music to Sanji's ears.

“Sanji dear, I’m sure he meant it as a fairytale,” his mother attempted to reason gently. “Fish from one Sea can’t swim in another.”

“They can!” Sanji persisted, his determination unwavering. “Zeff said there is a current near Germa that pushes the fish from the East Sea into our Northern one. That’s how he is able to prepare us fish from the East! If fish from other seas can mix then that means it’s possible for the All Blue to be real.”

Sora looked thoughtful over this, actually considering if Sanji’s fantastical ramblings were possible. Then a small smile spread across her face, her eyes twinkling with a hint of mischief.

“Maybe we should sail on the course of the current together. See if it leads us to your All Blue.” Sora suggested, her voice filled with playful curiosity.

Sanji’s heart leapt gleefully in his chest at the prospect of embarking on such an adventure with his mother by his side.

“Really?!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide with excitement. Before his mother could answer, her smile suddenly dropped.

Sora stilled, her grip on Sanji’s hand tightening painfully, causing her knuckles to turn white. Her eyes widened with fear, and Sanji's heart skipped a beat, a sense of apprehension prickling at the edges of his consciousness as he followed his mother's gaze. Then, he saw it; a dark shape lurking amidst the tall grass that was unmistakably predatory in nature. A faint glint of its coppery scales caught the light.

A wave of fear washed over Sanji, threatening to paralyze him where he stood, his breath caught in his throat as he watched the creature feasting upon its prey of deer meat. With bated breath, they watched as the creature continued its grisly meal, each rip and tear echoing through the stillness of the field, oblivious to their presence for the moment. Sanji's mind raced, scrambling for a plan of action, but his thoughts were a chaotic whirlwind of fear and uncertainty.

"We must go," Sora whispered urgently, her voice barely audible above the rustling of the wind through the grass. "Slowly, and without drawing its attention."

Sanji nodded, his heart pounding in his chest as they began to edge backward, step by agonizing step, their eyes never leaving the creature's form. Every movement was measured, every breath a silent prayer for escape as they retreated from the scene of impending danger.

They finally broke free from the oppressive grip of the tall grass, when Sanji’s heel inadvertently stepped down on a twig from a fallen tree branch, the sharp SNAP slicing through the tense silence like a knife.

The creature’s gaze flickered in their direction, its bloodshot eyes locking onto Sora and Sanji with an unsettling intensity. Crimson blood dripped from its mouth, curling into a predatory grin. Sanji’s eyes widened as he beheld the creature’s face, a grotesque fusion of man and beast, its eyes gleaming with feral intelligence, its long horns arcing like gnarled branches.

With a feral roar, the creature lunged at them, its claws slashing through the air with deadly precision as it sought to claim its next prey.

Queen Sora grabbed hold of the fallen branch, wielding it like a makeshift weapon as she desperately sought to fend off the relentless assault. With a cry of defiance, she swung the branch with a might Sanji had never witnessed his mother wield before. The branch connected with the creature’s snarling face, momentarily driving it back with a fierce blow.

The Queen then stumbled and cried out in agony. Blood welled from a deep gash on her leg left by the creature’s razor-sharp claws, staining the floor crimson.

“Run, Sanji!” she gasped, her voice strained with pain. She pushed her son away, her gaze filled with fierce determination.

“I won’t leave you!” Sanji cried, his heart wrenching at the sight of his mother’s suffering.

“You have to! You’re faster than me. You have to run ahead for help!” Sora’s voice cracked with urgency, her grip on the branch faltering as the creature rose once more, its menacing presence looming over them like a dark shadow.

Sanji’s mind raced with conflicting emotions. If only he were stronger, he wouldn’t have to flee. He could stand his ground and fight alongside his mother, face the creature head-on. But as the creature turned its gaze towards him, its eyes gleaming with malice, his mother’s voice pierced through the chaos.

“SANJI! Do as I say and get help!” Sora’s voice desperately demanded obedience, commanding him to act. With a heavy heart, Sanji nodded, swallowing his fear and steeling himself for what lay ahead. With one last look at his mother, he turned and ran, his feet carrying him away from the danger and towards the hope of rescue.

Choking back tears, Sanji ran faster than he had in his entire life. His lungs felt as if they had caught fire, and his heart was thrumming at the base of his throat. Each step felt like a struggle against the weight of his fear and uncertainty, but he pushed himself onward, driven by the desperate need to save his mother.

Finally reaching the castle grounds, Sanji’s frantic pace did not falter. He continued to sprint, feeling the jolt in his knees, the wind dragging through his hair. He could see guards in the distance.

“HELP!” Sanji’s scream ripped through his throat. The distance began to wane between them, and he pushed herself to run faster, faster, until it felt like his bones might melt from the exertion. He could see their faces clearly now. Their brows furrowed in confusion. Sanji collided into them, his hands desperately clawing at their clothes to keep from falling to his knees. His voice strained as he tried to explain through his panting breaths, “The Queen… by the beach… something is chasing her!”

Several guards began running toward the direction Sanji had fled while one stayed with him, attempting to provide comfort. The wait was agony, each passing second stretching out into an eternity of uncertainty and fear.

After what felt like ages, Sanji's heart leaped with hope when he finally caught sight of the guards returning in the distance. His eyes scanned the group frantically, searching for any sign of his mother's presence among them. Then, his gaze landed on a sight that turned his veins to ice.

Sanji felt the world around him begin to tilt, his breath catching in his throat as he beheld the remnants of his mother's cloak being carried back by the guards. The fabric was smeared with grime and blood, a haunting testament to the horrors that had unfolded in his absence.

In that moment, a weight of despair settled heavily upon Sanji's shoulders, engulfing him in a sea of grief and anguish. Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes as he struggled to come to terms with the devastating truth of his mother's fate, his heart breaking into a million shattered pieces at the loss of the one person who had always been his guiding light in the darkness. Sanji knew that his life would never be the same again.

(Next Chapter)

[fatimaah]

76

Good thing I don't keep a vlog or whatever and I don't have followers waiting to read my journal pages cuz sometimes there are those 3-4 week blanks in here....not only in here, but in my life too.

...or maybe those aren't blanks, just things I don't want to write about.

But today, as I'm supposed to sleep but can't (cuz I slept the whole day without pAreNtAl cOntRol), I finally got this burst of motivation to document my life. My thoughts (and fEeliNgS)

*every time I write in ThOse lEtTerS, know that I'm rolling my eyes*

Such a familiar feeling. The one I get every summer. "routine boredom". When I'm tired of my room, tired of talking and seeing people I see everyday during summer (aka my parents and siblings) and when I'm just tired of things being so SAME .

This summer wasn't really three month passing the same. Every month of this summer something happened. Either with my relationship with my parents, either with my dad, either with someone else and all those changes ....they weren't so positive. I felt miserable. I don't feel miserable now but....I still remember that fear and sadness.

Recently everyone has been so busy around me. My friends, family, relatives. Someone got a new family member born ( aka my aunt, we're going to her house tomorrow to see the BABYYY ! awww I love babies), someone (aka my other aunt) came to visit their relatives from Uzbekistan (aka us), someone (my other other aunt) found out their son is a fucking asshole who stole almost all of my dad's money and got got his whole family deep in shit and left.

I try not to make it obvious but...I hear what my parents talk about. I hear when they talk at night, I understand when they give each other different hints. I know that our family situation isn't at its best because of that asshole. I don't know why they never ask for help. Why they don't ask my brothers to finally get a job. They pretend that it's all perfect and everything. They say some things like oh yeah our family isn't as rich as it used to be so be more wise when you decide to buy something. But they don't tell us anything. They could let me help.

a few days ago on all emotions and anger I started yelling at my mom. It happened suddenly. When she wanted to ground me for staying at my cousin's house for 30 more minutes. When she told me I can't hang out with my friends for the whole summer. I got so angry. I told her so many terrible things. Told her I don't see any love coming from you, you are too protective and you never trust me or my friends. You think I'm too childish yet you treat me like an adult when it comes to chores. You are like an example of a mom I never want to be....and then at the end I even told her you're so bad you make me feel like I don't belong to this family and all this hysteria I'm having is your fault cuz you failed as a mother

I wanted to hurt her. And I know it's super wrong. It doesn't matter who was right in that argument. Wanting to make your mom's heart ache and wanting her to cry and to feel guilty is not what I should have been wanting. That's not what nice daughters want. I felt like I was right at first. But I really hurt her. Sometimes I forget my mom has feeling because she's so straight to the point and so serious just like my twin brother. Ugh, and I hate it. I hate talking to both of them.

My dad told me...your mom is hurt and sad. She cries a lot and she feels terrible. She's been depressed but now she's even more miserable.

Hurting her didn't really make it for me. Knowing she cried a lot because of me didn't fix a thing. It only made me feel like I am a terrible daughter with super complicated mom. It made me feel like I.... I don't know if it's right to say but it made me feel like I was kinda turning into her. And I hated this feeling.

I want to be a nice person who cares about other people and other people's feelings. But sometimes....but often times I can't force myself to give a shit about their feeling. It's wrong. It's wrong and I know it....and still..I kinda don't care.

I don't know why I'm writing all of it but my point is, no matter how hard I pretend to be a nice good caring daughter ...sometimes I break the character and I only really feel like myself when I'm mad at everyone. When I'm hurting someone's feelings because they hurt MY feelings .

I kinda hate myself. I don't like me. Especially after I hurt her like it. When I said sorry she started crying and she couldn't stop.

She asked me " do we REALLY make you feel that oppressed? Are we actually really bad parents? Is that what you think about me? That I don't love you?"

And I don't know, mom. I don't wanna know if you love me. I know the answer. I really thought about it and I think you do love me. But I still keep feeling like you don't. I am not making sense. I forgot how to write a journal in the way it makes sense. I want to run away.

Eventually we sorted things out. She's been weirdly nice after than. And I stayed weirdly the same after that.

I wonder what she thinks of me. Does she think I was right or does she think I was just making a scene and I just have "victim mentality"?

Why do we need to feel things. I wish feelings weren't real. I wish all I could feel was love.

But I feel hate and annoyment much more than I feel love. I can't say I love my mom. But I care about her feeling more than I care about other people's feelings.

I love her.

And I want her to love me to

And she already does.

And I didn't write about anything going on in my life but somehow writing about my mom made me feel like an Azula copycat hahaah

No..it actually made me feel better.

I should sleep now. this journal keeping motivation comes so randomly maaan..

August 15th, 2024

[imaginaenespanol]

Childhood Kid!Michael Myers x Kid!Latin!reader

Plot: You and your family are immigrants from a Latin American country. Thanks to your dad's opportunity at his job, they come to Hanonfield USA, you meet the kid Michael Myers and they become friends because of your strange way of speaking Other idiom and persistence in wanting to be his friend, they spend 4 years together in various situations, while he falls in love with you, you are his only happiness. What happened in those years before that fateful Halloween?

Words: 3,343

Warning: some violence from Michael and Bullies bothering them both

Notes: Long chapter! I was excited to write it, it seems that you and Michael are getting to know each other better, he is still a bit distant with you but don't worry! it will open up to you

chapters: (1), (x),(3)

Chapter 2: I want to know you better

Sunday January 6 , 2002

It was 09:00 am and you got up quickly from your bed because thunder had fallen nearby, you remember that before sleeping it started to rain lightly and now it was stronger, it wouldn't stop soon, it's exciting in a way but you knew you wouldn't they would let out hell you wanted to see if you could play with that kid Michael again even though he said you were just neighbors nothing more you had a good time and you wanted him to be your friend you could wait till the rain stopped. Well, nothing like exploring a new house can't satiate your curiosity for several hours.

After your Mom will help you choose your clothes and get decent for breakfast, you had nothing to do, so you decided with your older brothers to explore the attic of the new house and see if they find any "hidden treasure", your parents let do what they want since they were more busy looking at legal paperwork you don't understand and talking to someone on the phone.

When your brothers finally managed to open the attic stairs and go up with a flashlight that they found in one of the boxes that had not yet been put in its place, you heard a female voice that you recognized as your Mom talking to someone on the phone, you paid attention to see what he said —Yes, there is no problem that the child can stay for the day , yesterday (Y/N) did not stop talking about him before going to sleep— he said in a carefree and understanding way —I understand then your daughter The older one has a friend at home and he has nowhere to leave him, don't worry...— It was Michael who came to your house! Well, then his mother trusts your family enough to bring him home during the day. You decided to climb down from the Attic carefully so you could go meet him, though you almost slipped in the process.

Arriving where your parents were, Michael and his mother had already arrived. The boy was bundled up and taking off a scarf, while Deborah held a wet umbrella trying to comfort the boy, he looked extremely grumpy —You told me we would spend the day together watching a movie, I don't want to be here— The blond boy claimed his mother — For the last time, I can't be with you today, it's an emergency, besides, your little friend from yesterday will play with you today." Deborah said pointing at you, her voice had a hint of frustration. "She's not my friend." He muttered annoyed, his mother sighed at such a comment —Don't be like that honey, you'll have a good time, be good for me, okay? Take care of yourself— Michael nodded slightly, still in a bad mood.

You decided to act after seeing that mini-argument to lift his spirits, you approached him —Hi Michael, come play with me up there— you said enthusiastically taking his hand, uh, it was a mistake —I don't want to, don't touch me— he said, abruptly removing your hand on his, that alerted his mother who was already coming out the front door, saying goodbye to your parents.—What did I tell you about being good? Honey, I'll be back before dinner— she warned in a stern tone and he muttered a little “okay” before she left.

Your parents also tried to cheer him up with some candies that they had brought from your home country, although he accepted the candies for some reason, his bad mood didn't go down a bit, you weren't discouraged by his behavior, you would be the same in a strange house, it's more, you would be scared and crying in no time, why not find your brother's console in his room and play for a while? I'm sure it would cheer him up, you offered to play the console and he shrugged his shoulders without speaking, don't you want to? then you force him to go to your room, you don't want long faces —Come with me to my room, I have toys— and you took his hand again to guide him, you did it without sincerely thinking, which of course he disliked and he took his hand off again. hand over yours, but this time he followed you silently.

In Michael's mind he just wanted to make you angry and cry, he enjoyed hurting others for some reason, but why were you still being nice to him? You just met him yesterday and you had already shown him toys in your room that you probably never would have and even sometimes your brothers came to play with Michael and you in a very kind way. Why can't it be the same with Judith? or with Mom even, somehow he was despised by his older sister, he could never play with his sister like you do with them so happily, he wishes he had a sister or brother who didn't despise him, he resigned himself to being in a bad mood and not cooperating With you at your insistence, he wanted to enjoy the rest of the day when you mentioned that you like martial arts and horror movies, he doesn't know exactly what the former was, but the latter was something he also liked to watch.

—Do you like the movie “ It '?'— he nodded, he likes it because of the clown that kills children and the blood there is— my Dad bought it on the way to this city, I've never seen it— You mentioned while rummaging through a box with a lot of movies looking for the one you wanted —I already saw it, there's a lot of blood, if you're scared you won't sleep tonight— she mentioned bothering you —Of course not!, I'm someone very brave, I've already seen movies so — you mentioned annoyed, you would not give in to his comments —Yes? so let's watch the movie, big girl— I wasn't going to leave you alone with that nickname, you asked your sister to put that movie on anyway, without first warning you that it might give you nightmares, which caused Michael to make fun of you —Don't give yourself nightmares, big girl!— he mockingly mentioned —Callate— you told him in Spanish, “another strange word” Michael thought —Let's watch the movie and I'll show you that I'm brave— you said decisively and they did, you tried to stay brave and enjoy the movie which you genuinely did in a lot of parts but definitely that clown is scary and you screeched when it was scariest causing the blonde kid to make fun of you more or push you off the side of the big chair, rude. [N/A: shut up]

Almost at the end of the movie, you wanted to take revenge for all the teasing that the blond boy made you when you were scared by the clown, you saw nothing better than throwing a pillow at him causing him to throw another one back at you with great force and you complained — Ouch , that hurts Mikey— .

—You threw the pillow at me first! I just replied—the claim without realizing what you just called it—Well, it's my revenge for making fun of me , get ready!—the two grabbed the pillows next to each other and a war began between you two, they hit each other with the pillows incessantly, when they stood in front of the television, your brothers who were also there watching the movie, complained that they were not allowed to see and joined the battle, there were two sides initially, but later they all hit each other and threw pillows at each other .

When they were running around the TV Michael caught you off guard and got on top of you, he started hitting you with the pillow while you hit him back between giggles, but he started to get more violent, he grabbed his pillow with both hands and started to choke you with said pillow, at first you laughed and fought playfully, but you began to lose your breath — Mikey , I c-can't breathe, p-please stop— you begged desperately, he continued , you told him Mikey and he felt something strange in his chest so he pressed more —P-please, s-stop —they kept asking even with less air and he pressed the pillow more on your face, you began to move less and lose strength, you were drowning, when an angry voice interrupted them.

—MICHAEL AUDREY MYERS— said his mother as he was grabbed from behind and coming out on top of you, you can finally breathe, you breathed deeply and repeatedly trying to fill the air in your lungs —I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE DOING THAT!— she said still very angry —We were just playing! It wasn't bad at all— He defended himself, she shook her head and took his arm with one hand, with the other she had her umbrella and the scarf that Michael had taken off when he came to your house, with the other hand —You were smothering her with the pillow! That's not playing with her, how many times have I told you to be kind to other children— she said, still annoyed, Deborah apologized and forced Michael to do the same, although he only said a weak "sorry" before he was taken away from your house still scolding the boy, you can't get out of your daze, so your parents helped you the rest of the afternoon and night to calm down, they mentioned that you would start to go to school tomorrow and you cheered up, tomorrow is a new day along with a new opportunity.

The question that was going around in your head is why did he suddenly behave like this with you? you would know tomorrow, or so you thought.

Monday January 7 , 2002

You were in the principal's office with your mom at your new school your dad had to work so he couldn't come which was disappointing and whiny all the way you stopped crying when you saw some kids come in laughing you hated that you look like this, you were a big girl after all, your brothers were already in their classes, the only thing missing was you.

—Then Lady, you say you want (Y/N) to attend first grade even though he is 5 years old, right? — The principal briefly mentioned trying to understand the situation, Your mother nodded —Exactly, I have all the documents that prove that it is perfectly achievable. She even understands what we speak in English right now, isn't that right, honey?— The principal looked at you with a raised eyebrow —Yes, mommy, Mr. Principal, I know many things— you said obediently, however The principal sighed —Because of his age She should be in preschool, even though the state of Illinois says otherwise, I consider that at this point...— Your mother interrupted the principal, annoyed —Honey, can you wait outside for a moment?— uh oh, she was annoyed, but he didn't He was going to let himself be won over by an “Annoying Woman” — Principal , I suggest you listen to Mom, it's scary when she gets angry— You warned his, as you left the office, even though that man didn't take you seriously.

You sat near an armchair while you heard your mother's voice arguing with that man, you covered your ears because you hated listening to arguments, especially if they involved your mother with your dad or with another person, whoever it was, she always won, she was stubborn and now was no exception, after a while the door opened and you saw the smile triumphant of her with a director somewhat annoyed and with a frown —¿Que paso mami?— You said in Spanish asking what had happened [N/A: What happened mommy?]

—(Y/N) mi niña linda — She answered you also in Spanish, while she hugged you —Today you will have your first day of elementary school, I hope you behave well and have many little friends— Your smile was indelible. She won! [N/A: My beautiful girl]

—Now I have to go because they won't let me in, but he will guide you to the classroom, okay?— You nodded —I love you mom— you gave her a kiss on the cheek —Me too my girl, take care — And so she left leaving an uncomfortable Principal standing, you smiled at him as he walked towards the door to leave you in the classroom, you didn't know beyond the Principal's office and if he left you to your fate you would get lost —I told him to pay attention to him to her, she never loses— he snorted amused— yeah , mothers, they are always right…well, I hope your behavior is the right one, Miss (Y/N), I don't want to see you in my office for some bad behavior— You weren't that kind of people, or so you thought now — No sir, I'll show him— you said, they arrived at the door of a classroom, you stood awkwardly aside while he knocked on the door to get the teacher's attention , she went out to the corridor where they were while the director explained the situation, she a nodded and the director left the place.

—My name is April and I will be your teacher this year, a pleasure (Y/N)— she said kindly —A pleasure miss April, I hope to get along with you— it is now where your nerves react and your shyness increases, you felt a lump in your stomach upset from nerves, too much stress —Let your new classmates know so you can introduce yourself properly, okay?— you nodded —Yes, Miss April— She told you to stay there while she went back to the classroom.

On Michael's side, it wasn't that different from other days, restless classmates who reject him, annoying bullies who harass him before entering classes forever and a teacher who feigns kindness but really can't stand him, nothing new for him. So he entered his class 5 minutes late and teacher April didn't even notice, at least it wasn't longer than other times. Everything was normal in the Mathematics class until there was a knock on the door and the teacher left for a few minutes, his other classmates began to murmur although he couldn't care less, his mind was on the scolding and punishment that his teacher gave him. mother last night at her house for trying to suffocate you with the pillow, you were annoying, although you wouldn't see it here, oh how wrong that blue-eyed boy was.

When the teacher returned to the classroom, she called everyone's attention —Children, I want you to welcome a new classmate— Oh no, isn't it?... —She comes from ( Your Latin Country) A country in South America and I want them to be kind— it can't be, it's sure to be that “big girl” as he nicknames her, the teacher looked towards the exit wanting you to come in, you timidly entered the room, looking at the floor, your cheeks were burning with embarrassment and your trembling hands were tightly gripping your backpack, yes, it was you, Michael sighed annoyed. —Do you want to introduce yourself honey?—

—Yes, my name is (Y/N) (L/N) and I hope to make friends— you said while some reacted with interest, others with giggles and weird comments —Very good (Y/N), choose a seat so we can continue with the class— Miss April said, you looked around as Michael sank in his seat wanting you not to choose him, better yet, not to recognize him but that's exactly what you did, you recognized him and your face lit up It was him!, you pointed to the seat next to him in the background and she nodded somewhat bewildered while there were annoying mutters like “he will sit next to the weird kid” “why did she choose it ? him ?” and things like that, you didn't pay attention to them.

When you sat next to him, he didn't look at you —Hey Michael , we'll be classmates— you told him in a low voice touching his shoulder so he would look at you —aha— that's all he said. Is he still like this from yesterday? —Hey, if you're like this because of yesterday, don't worry, I'm not mad at you, I still want us to be friends— that softened Michael's features, although it wasn't enough —I don't think so— you tilted your head in confusion —Why right?— you asked —you'll see them at recess and you won't want to hang out with me, big girl— he whisper still without looking at you, it was always like that and he had accepted his destiny, he didn't want to get excited about having a friend and then having him he betrayed by going with other bad boys, it would break his heart , but you were so insistent that a tiny part of him wanted to give in and be your friend, he had to stay strong.

During the entire math class he tried to ignore your attempts at conversation, they called their attention a few times to shut up, well for you to shut up, he didn't talk much and that's how the whole class went until recess, all your classmates went out to play and you went to the bathroom because you couldn't take it anymore, Michael went to the playground alone as always looking for some insect to squash, he didn't count on his Bullies finding him alone in a perfect position to kick him, they did it and He got upset , here we go again , there were 4.

—What are you doing loser?— said one

—Surely he's playing with the mud, that's what he always does,— another said. —Get lost, it's none of your business.— Michael said, trying to stand up. — Who told you that you could stand up? Damn useless .— They grabbed him by the collar of his clothes to be able to annoy him as always, when they heard a moan from the Bullies , they hit him in the head with a stone —Who was the idiot who threw that stone at me?— Said one furious looking for the person responsible.

—I went!, Leave it Calm down!— You said upset, it turns out that after going to the bathroom you looked for him everywhere until you found him hunched over with several boys, your grandmother always said to defend yourself with blows when they bother you and your friends, your mom said what himself while recounting his school experiences, so why not? sure it was the right thing, they were taller than you, so you had to be clever —Who are you?" His new girlfriend?— Said one making fun of you —I'm (Y/N) and I'm going to be friends with him, don't bother him— they laughed at the same time —Oww , how cute for a rat like you is to be expected— "Damn idiots" you thought as they were starting to surround you —You're dead, I don't care if you're a brat— Michael saw the situation and acted quickly, he kicked the butt of whoever had his back to him and you kicked another in the crotch leaving him kneeling and ran back to the building while running away from the screaming of those boys, they caused quite a commotion.

—Why did you help me ?— he said confused —These idiots were going to hit you— The blue-eyed boy sighed —I'm used to it, you didn't have to do that— You frowned annoyed —I don't care, if we're going to be friends I must do it, they are bad— I definitely didn't want those guys to bother you too , it was hard to be bullied every day and you looked like someone cheerful.

Should I accept his friendship? Michael was already starting to give in.

[captainshadowgirllostfan]

I’m sorry Young Sheldon’s lack of continuity and it’s excuse of Sheldon just didn’t know, misunderstood the situation, and was just basically wrong about everything will always annoy me. Why you ask? Because the moments where he becomes fragile, where he breaks down and spouts out some childhood tidbits of his are so genuine and seemingly traumatic for him, that I’m like seriously?

You’re just going to sidebrush the fact that this character seemed bothered that he could never relate to his father because his father wanted him to be into football, hunting, and archery when he would’ve preferred to do science.

You’re going to sidebrush the arguments his parents had that he listened to but apparently “misunderstood” when his dad was shooting up his mother’s china or when his mother prayed for the will to not grind up glass in his father’s own meatloaf?

You’re going to sidebrush the fact that his mother said that his father once fought a bobcat for a stick of liquorice?

Or the fact that his father after getting angry at the Dolphin’s win, wanted to shot the television and actually did. (I hope this gets shown in Young Sheldon).

Or how Sheldon used to cry after hearing his parents argue and how his mother admonished his father to stop yelling because Shelly’s crying and George Sr answers “He’s upset because his name is Sheldon”.

Or how Missy mentions that Sheldon created a Death Ray against the neighborhood kids who used to pick on him but instead pissed off the neighbor’s dog (I believe this might’ve been off-handedly mentioned in Young Sheldon though when Georgie asks one of the neighbor’s to buy a snowglobe and again when Mary confronts Brenda and Herb about their dog and Brenda mentioned I think the Death Ray)

Or how he messed with her Easy Bake oven and it fizzled out her eyebrows so that her mom had to scribble on eyebrows when she entered the second grade (the series happens a bit later when Sheldon is 9 years old so I guess this could be excused but god that screen rant article annoyed the hell out of me).

Or how he created a CAT scanner and tried to use it on her hamster Snowball but ended up killing Snowball and suffering radiation burns. How about that saying that came about after that incident, “Not a Snowball’s chance in a CAT scanner”. That saying is NOT even mentioned in the entire series!!!

Or how he tried to bring free electricity in his own neighborhood only for the Feds to come and ruin his project... (though actually I think they did try to make an episode... an episode probably exist of this actually so there’s at least that)

Or how he messed with the staircase for an experiment and broke his father’s clavicle.

And how he had to go to boarding school (which was never shown in Young Sheldon. It just shows him going to high school with his older brother).

Or how their dog Lucky got run over by a truck.

Or how Sheldon asked for a centrifuge for his birthday and got a dirt bike instead and was so upset about it that he came to hate birthdays. They don’t even show him hating birthdays! Just that he didn’t want to attend a birthday party. What about his own birthday? His and Missy’s?

Am I missing anything else? Please be free to add more if anyone can think of anything.

The point is, Young Sheldon is a good show, but it sucks as a prequel in my opinion. It’s retconning so much.

Exhibit 1, Sheldon’s family which is hinted to be poor IS NOT POOR. They are middle-class.

Exhibit 2, young Sheldon for some strange reason is dressed up like he’s a young version of Bill Nye or Urkel instead of the superhero tees that’s shown throughout the series and we know how neurotic scientist does not like change. Why is he dressed up like a middle-schooler as an adult but like a grown up (a dorky grown up) as a child?

Exhibit 3, George Sr is shown to drink a lot but no where does it indicate that his drinking is causing problems to the family aside from the fact that it’s eating their finances. It’s hinted that George Sr’s drinking has caused problems in his marriage with how much Mary wanted him to stop. In Young Sheldon, Mary barely tries to do anything about George Sr’s drinking.

Exhibit 4, Mary in Big Bang seems exasperated by Sheldon’s neurotics, in Young Sheldon, she indulges them (though it is likely she changes her methods of dealing with Sheldon later on...)

And again like I mentioned, it doesn’t bother to show the scenes mentioned by Sheldon. Instead it deliberately tries to make it like he’s got his personal memories wrong. He. The guy with the eidetic memory who can remember what people wear and Penny’s menstrual cycle and also when Howard and Leonard made a pact to never date Priya. Like wth is with this show. I’m sorry as a Big Bang fan...Idk how you can like Young Sheldon without ignoring the fact that it’s a prequel. Because it’s a great show, but it sucks as a prequel.

[damsel-loves-machines]

Parenting Shell-don with Donatello would Include:

Author’s Note: This took freaking forever when it shouldn’t have and I, for the life of me, can’t comprehend why. I would like to thank @aceing-it-spaceing-it​ for recommending this prompt to me. Just a reminder that I am not accepting requests at all at the moment. Everything that I usually write is all based on inspiration, but I couldn’t pass this idea up.

Here is an excerpt from my Interested in Donatello’s Tech writing, the piece that has started it all. Since it’s my piece of writing, I can copy and paste it without guilt.

S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.? He’s your son now. I don’t make the rules.

Donatello programmed him to call you ‘Mistress Y/N’ until his brothers somehow managed to reprogram the A.I. turtle behind his back (once again) to call you ‘Mom’. After chasing his brothers with his rocket hammer and fighting down the sheer embarrassment, Donnie didn’t bother with changing it back. The damage was already done.

A part of him liked it, too, but he is taking that secret to the grave.

Donnie does enjoy the fact that you treat and take care of Shell-don like a son just as much as he does. You make sure to keep track of Shell-don’s coolant to be changed thrice daily so that it doesn’t overheat and scratch behind all 8 of his favorite places whenever you have time.

You even decided to freshen Shell-don’s metal coat with polish every once in a while as a treat for working so hard.

He dubbed you ‘his favorite parent’. Donnie is only partially offended by that.

What a lovely introduction. Anyways-

Shell-don is baby. To you, at least.

“He is not an infant, Y/N. S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. is a very intelligent artificially-created being with a well-crafted independent personality that I have concocted-”

“He is also two-and-a-half months old. HE. IS. BABY.”

“....don’t you mean, “He is A baby?”“

“Don’t sass me, mister.”

“Mom, Dad. Please stop fighting.”

At first, Shell-don couldn’t...compute the reasoning why you were coddling and spoiling him like this. He wasn’t complaining, but he was very confused as to why you insisted he’d rest his hard wire for the afternoon while you took care of the rest of the chores he was assigned.

Shell-don confronted Donnie about this and his creator said:

“They have always had a great fascination with all of my technological inventions and achievements. However, the second you called them ‘Mom’, you completely won their heart. Even though the primary goal for that remark was for my embarrassment, but you made Y/N happy nonetheless. You’re my greatest creation and they acknowledge that. They love you just as much as I do, bud.”

Cue robo-tears.

If Shell-don isn’t scurrying around the lair or resting at his charging station, you’re carrying him around in his arms like how Misty carries Togepi all around Kanto.

While Shell-don goes for Donatello for basic things and physical guidance with topics revolving technology and the sorts, he goes to you for emotional support and chill times.

The warmth and softness of your body hits differently against his metal body when in your embrace, something that Donatello’s reptilian physique somewhat lacked in. Shell-don fully understands why Donnie always tries to “subtly” cuddle up to you whenever he can.

Shell-don is, at times, emotionally stunted with a hint of dead-pan snark. He gets it from his father. -_-

So whenever some sort of argument would ever erupt between the two violet turtles, you do one of three things:

1. You try to sit them down and talk to them both.

2. You pull the “I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.” move.

or 3. You threaten to call in Dr. Delicate Touch.

So far, nothing failed as of yet.

You hound the two of them to teach you binary code. You can’t tell what kind of conversation they are having when they communicate in 0′s and 1′s and you hate being left out. They always seem to love watching you pout about it and continue with their aimless banter in a playful manner.

Once Donnie constructed a body for Shell-don, you made it your mission to make matching clothing for the two.

*enter The Clothes Don’t Make the Turtle music segment here*

Everything felt sweet until Shredder infiltrated the lair.

You were stuck at the lair during the tragic mishap, along with April and Karai. You ran to enlist Shell-don to aid in the fight to meet up with the others...

...until you saw the tech lab completely trashed.

You called out for the violet tech-terrapin. The only noise that answered your calls were sounds of broken static underneath debris and mechanical parts.

“...M..bzzt..m...mo...glitch..om?”

You knew that so long as his memory chip is free of damage and/or corruption, Shell-don could be rebuilt with his memory intact.

But the sight of your son’s tremendously damaged tech anatomy only made you shed your tears harder.

You reunited with Donatello later on, with help from April and her bike.

The violet-cladded terrapin took one look at Shell-don’s chip laying tenderly in your grasp before crushing you in a hug of his own, desperate in trying to find comfort for the both of you.

*Fast forward to after the Finale*

Donatello manages to rebuild Shell-don once the Sewer Fam managed to safely settle back down into their home with massive clean up and renovation.

You guys ever seen the ending scene of Big Hero 6? It’s basically that.

“Did I do well?”

“You did awesome, buddy.”

“We are so proud of you, Shell-don.”

[kissme-hs]

More hearts {c.e.}

Hii lovelies! This one is based off the two songs ;more hearts than mine by Ingrid Andress and match in the rain by Alec Benjamin. I’ve been thinking about this one for a while now so here it is. Let me know what you think lol sorry if this is shit, feedback is very much appreciated :)

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warning: Angst

-----

“I can’t do this anymore”

Those words didn’t amuse you when Chris said them with a heavy heart. Teary red eyes and tumbling words as he sat on the couch where you stood near the wooden window sill staring into the oblivious of falling rain. Though it was dark outside, you enjoyed the sound of pattering rain—where your boyfriend cried his own tears of sadness.

You felt numb for few seconds. Your mind fathomed what he uttered but it took a while for your heart to figure out that it was really happening. After 3 years of being together with each other through the thick and thin, sorrows and happiness it was time you go your way and he goes his. You’d still consider kind of him to break it to you in such a fragile way, making sure first that your heart is strong enough to endure the ache of your now—ending relationship.

Finally breaking in through the barrier of strong emotions, a tear rolled down your cheek as you quickly wiped it away with your palm crossing your hands over your chest. It hurt, it hurt more than you thought it’d when the love started fading away.

You could tell he tried, so did you. Every morning you’d wake up with a heavy chest knowing you have to go through the day with the person who’s heart stopped beating for you long ago. It wasn’t that he was cheating, but sometimes there isn’t a need of other person for one to fall out of love.

The kisses he placed on your forehead which once felt warm now were completely cold. He was pushing himself to save your dying relationship, but he couldn’t do it. There were two bodies in the house but only one present–each night you’d say I love you’s and turn away from each other to fall asleep. Well aware of the truth that neither of you meant what you said anymore, you’d let silent tears hit the soft pillow until the soreness of your eyes drifts you away in deep slumber of sleep.

He on the other side felt you slipping away through his fingers. The dead look in your eyes gave him the hint that the time was up, but he pretended you’re both still strong anyway. He wasn’t willing to believe that this was the end, he didn’t want to give up on the relation he has built you through tears and smiles over the years.

But his intuitions told him it’s too late. You were long gone.

Your heart crumbled every day with the screaming memories you created in the same house where you now lived with a heavy heart. The laughter and joy were nowhere to be found, he’d work in his office everyday to keep himself busy and you’d do the same. Reading, writing, doing anything that’d keep you off from feeling the everyday growing ache in your chest.

Watching him grow distant was the worst pain you ever went through.

However.

You’ll be fine, but how will you tell your mother? Who loved Chris very much like her own son. She falls in love faster than you, and the second you introduced Chris to your family she instantly wrapped her arms around his welcoming him with a warm heart to your strong family.

Every Christmas she’d send you homemade cookies and hand knitted sweaters but ever since you brought Chris home, she made sure to send one for him. And now won’t she be heartbroken? She’s not going to have one more to knit sweater for. Your mother always told you how Chris filled the spot she always craved for having a son—and now she’d watch him go away with you.

She’d wait patiently for your arrival with Chris’s favorite meal ready every time you visit her but now, not anymore.

“You complete our family son.” She smiled when Chris took the heavy pot of stew from her hand helping her set the table while you and your sister were out with your dad grabbing a few stuff for the house.

He volunteered that he’d stay and help your mother—loving her the same he loved his own mother.

“Thanks ma” he replied placing a kiss on her forehead. His heart swelling with the adoration he developed for you and your family and how not only he loved you unconditionally but those four members you called home.

And your dad. He always checked the car tires before you both hit the road, saying he just wanted to make sure that his daughter goes hime safely—lying not caring about Chris. But everyone knew he wasn’t fooling anyone.

Your dad loved Chris. He’d always go fishing with him and talk about sports and politics. Though he was proud of having two amazing girls, he wished he had a son to go fishing with, fix house with, whom he could go golfing with. And when you brought Chris home that Friday evening, you saw him smile. Unlike the fake one he gave your other boyfriends but the one that showed you how proud he was.

“So you like whiskey or rum?”

“I’d take whiskey sir”

“Call me dad” making your head turn from the couch where you sat watching television with your mother your eyes picked tears. Never he has welcomed a man so lovingly before. You knew it was real when you father loved him as if he was his own child.

Oh how could you break your old man’s heart? He’d pour you whiskey over ice and lie that he never liked him, but deep down you know he’d miss him too. He’d miss watching football with him, arguing over politics, fixing the deck.

He’d miss caring for his son that now he lost.

Last came your younger sister. Oh how she loved embarrassing Chris and having little snickering arguments with him. She’d disagree with him just to see him getting frustrated and then would laugh about it later. But never once he minded it. He cared for you sister just like he did for his.

For her too, he completed your little family with the craving of older brother. Though you never let anyone touch her, she always wondered what it’d be like to have a protective brother. And Chris never failed to annoy her either, he loved how her face would get all scrunched up as she’d get irritated like a typical teenager that she was and would huff and puff until he brings out the present he got for her.

“So you know I told you I like this guy at school right?” She said mouth full of fruits as she sits beside Chris on a Sunday morning telling her all the ‘gossips’ she’d say. And being a 39 year old man he’d listen to her babbling nothing like but as if he was a teenager himself.

“Yeah?”

“Well he asked me out” she smiled wiggling her eyebrows at him. Chris let out a laugh before ruffling her hair.

“Funny of someone to like you”

“Hey!!”

“Just kidding, tell him if he breaks your heart, I’ll beat the shit outta him” he raised his eyebrow winking at your sister before tossing a piece of cantaloupe from her bowl and popping in his mouth.

But who will bring her chocolates like last time when she’ll go through another heartbreak as a part of growing up? Who’ll teach her how to drive a motorcycle even though she’s quite young for that? Chris could’ve, but not anymore.

Closing your eyes your, you let your tears fall—not bothering to hold them back this time. You’ve been keeping your emotions locked up from a long time, maybe now it was the time you it go. Let go of the heaviness off your chest, it’s time to breath again.

You walked over to where he sat and gave his back a gentle rub.

Lifting his head from his head he looked in your eyes. For the first time in three months he saw emotions, he saw the fear and guilt and sorrow and pain you carried along you. The eyes which once were full of colours and spark now dead and dull. He was defeated. He couldn’t save you.

Running your fingers through his hair you let out a sniff, trying your best to pass him a broken smile.

“We’ll be fine” you whispered pulling him closer, without any hesitation he wrapped his arms around his waist hiding his head in your crook. His salty tears wetting your skin but you couldn’t care less as you rested your cheek on his back letting yours damp the cotton material of his t-shirt.

Chris was a man with the biggest heart. His kindness and generosity made even the most unworthy fall in love. How could they not. He was never selfish or greedy, or even thought of himself as “I”. Being a child amongst four he was taught to carry the family out of self love, as ‘we’. And to put those he loved, above all and the rest.

He gave you the happiness of your life, he made you smile when no one could. He came in your life bringing the light of joy and enlightened your dark space in heart—which felt it could never love again with radiating warmness. He gave your family the love no one could, he loved them selflessly just like he was taught.

Though he’d miss the warm stew and a mom who always sent hand knitted sweater, those Sunday morning golf games and a dad who’d lie how he never cared about him, the glimpse of a teenager’s life and a sister who loved to snicker around laughing at his blushed face but he won’t deny he’d miss you the most of all.

The woman who taught him the meaning of true love. The woman who stood with him through the rain storms and brightest sunshine. Who never doubted his will and everyday was the encouragement of being a better man. The lady who will always hold the only place of lover in his heart as long as it beats, he doubts he’d ever be able to place his heart in other’s hand like he placed it in yours without any second thought.

And today, he didn’t only break your heart.

But his and the hearts of other three that were once his family.

If we break up I’ll be fine,

But you’ll be breaking more hearts than mine.

[theycallmebecca]

Drabble: Uncle Chris, DILF in Training

Here is today’s drabble for Kinktober on the HBC blogs. This one is for @the-ce-horniest-book-club​.

Today’s prompt is daddy kink.... and as soon as I saw that prompt... this idea came to me.

Title: Uncle Chris, DILF in Training

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Not directly mentioned but maybe hinted at issues getting pregnant? If you are sensitive at all about pregnancy, babies, wanting to get pregnant/be a parent you might skip this one. 

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Whenever a friend called to see if you and Chris could watch their kids for a bit, Chris always said yes if he could. Partially because there were times he couldn’t help out, but also because he loved his nieces and nephews.

Today, the two of you had your hands full with one of his friend’s four older kids (ages 3 to 10) while he and his wife went to an appointment for their youngest, a six month old.

It was borderline too cold for the kids and Chris to be in the pool, but that didn’t stop them. He and the three oldest, all boys, were playing an aggressive game of 3 on 1 basketball in the pool. Meanwhile, you and their little sister were reading books while you soaked in the early fall sun.

“They’re crazy,” the little girl remarked as the boys shouted and laughed in the pool.

“That they are,” you agreed with a small laugh.

It was days like this where your heart ached for you and Chris to have your own family, but it hadn’t happened yet. The two of you had talked about it and had even tried, but hadn’t had any luck.

“Alright, alright!” Chris announced loudly. “I give up! You three win!”

The boys cheered and then booed when Chris told them it was time to get out of the pool.

“Hey now,” he said. “My stomach is growling and you three monkeys are growing like weeds, so I know you’re probably hungry, too.”

Glancing down at your watch, you blinked in surprise. It was already after noon and almost 1 o’clock.

“We’ll go get lunch started,” you told Chris. “The four of you should take warm showers. I can only imagine how cold that water is.”

“It’s fine once you get used to it,” the oldest boy offered.

“Auntie is right,” Chris stated. “Hit the showers, boys.”

Lunch was a noisy affair. Given the cool water that Chris and the boys had spent over an hour in, you had made soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch and Chris had ended up making a couple more sandwiches for everyone to share.

Then it was nap time, at least for little sister. She had been fine hanging out with you while the boys had been in the pool, but now she only wanted Chris. So while the boys helped you clean up the kitchen, Chris took her upstairs for her nap.

“Can we watch a movie, auntie?” One of the boys asked.

“Can you agree on one?” You countered with a knowing look. You’d experienced one of their arguments over what movie to watch before.

The brothers exchanged looks before the middle brother suggested, “Can we watch one of Uncle Chris’s movies? Maybe the Avengers?”

After getting them setup in the living room with Avengers on, you went upstairs to find out what was taking Chris so long. You found him fast asleep on one of the twin beds in the kids guest room with his niece asleep on his chest.

Not wanting to wake them, you softly closed the door. And then sighed. Chris needed to be a dad. And you needed to be a mom.

Going downstairs, you joined the boys in the living room and soon found yourself with the five year old cuddled up against you.

That was how Chris found you about thirty minutes later when he came downstairs. He joined the two of you on the couch and watched the movie with the rest of you, occasionally commenting on his own performance under his breath so only you could hear.

When his friend and his wife got back to the house, Chris wasted no time in getting their youngest, a baby girl, out of her car seat and holding her. You weren’t sure who was more enamored with the situation, Chris or his infant niece.

You found your eyes going back to the pair again and again while you spoke with the friend’s wife. You were still getting to know everyone, but they all seemed like genuinely nice people. Her especially.

When the movie ended, the friend and his family packed up and said their goodbyes. Thanking you and Chris for helping with the older kids.

You and Chris watched from the front door as they loaded everyone into the family minivan and then drove away.

“I love those kids,” Chris said as he closed the door.

“I love seeing you with those kids,” you said with a smile. “Definitely a dilf in training.”

“Dilf in training?” He raised his eyebrow.

Smiling, you took a step forward, backing him up to the front door. “Yes,” you replied. “Playing with the boys, cuddling with the little girls. Loving each of them just the way they are? It does things to me.”

“What types of things?” He asked.

“How about I just show you,” you suggested. Leaning in, you kissed him, deepening the kiss as you ran your hands down his body.

You were both panting when you pulled away and looked him in the eye. “Come upstairs it’s me,” you whispered.

“I’ll go anywhere with you,” he responded.

—————

10 months later

You came into the bedroom to find Chris on the bed with the month old twins, a boy and a girl, laying on his bare chest.

“Are they asleep?” You whispered and he nodded.

You briefly considered picking them up and putting them in their bassinets, but ultimately decided to lay down with the three of them.

“They’re almost too big to be held like this,” you whispered as watched the babies sleep like Chris.

“I know,” he said, sadness in his tone. “I both want and don’t want them to get bigger.”

You smiled and nodded in agreement. The first month had been hard with the twins, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Caught In The Storm" *Part 2*

Y'all thought I was kidding when I said I was pumped for this story; you just read how long this chapter is.

IT'S POURING OUT. I JUST WANT YOU TO GET WHERE I AM ALREADY.

It's so good guys. Like, SO GOOD.

Okay I'm sorry proceed.

Tag List:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@wanniiieeee

@milkshqke

@gibbs274

@lolliepopsicle

@aprildecker-blog

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

If you missed part 1: Here!

Part 3 Here!

-----

The next day the SVU squad was having one of their "murder board" meetings when you came storming into the station.

"Well I hope you're happy!!" You looked right at Fin.

"Audition didn't go well, cannoli?" Sonny asked you using his pet name for you.

"No Sonny, it DID NOT," You huffed. "I walked in there and I blew my audition," You circled Fin’s desk. "And I don't mean I forgot the lyrics, or I hit a bad note. No no, ohhhh no," You finally stood in front of him and crossed your arms.

"Halfway through the song I broke down SOBBING. I had a complete mental breakdown, because all I could think was that I had the worst moment of my entire life in that room!!!"

"Hey you can't blame us for your mistakes," Fin retorted.

"I don't blame them, I blame you!" You gestured to the rest of your “family” and then to him.

"Excuse you?" Fin sat up straighter.

"You didn't have to say anything Fin, you really didn't," You sighed.

"What?"

"You could have waited to have your fucking temper tantrum until after my audition,"

"Excuse me no--"

"She has a point" Olivia interjected.

"You too?" Fin took offense.

"Fin she was leaving, it wasn't like she was going to try and jump Rafael's bones right there," She went on. The whole room shivered at the thought of you “jumping” anybody’s bones.

"Look, I don't love it either but you can't help your feelings. And she just has a little crush on him, you can't fault her for that,"

You scoffed in offense.

"You're not helping, sweets," Olivia warned.

"Right…"

"Anyway you could have waited to have it out, is all I’m saying,” Olivia nodded at you with a smile. You mouthed a “thank you”.

"Oh we haven't begun to have it out," Fin huffed.

"Save it" You put a hand up before he started to stand up and get in your face for a fight.

"I already know what you're going to say; he's too old for me, we're a 'family' and he's supposed to be my 'uncle' or 'brother' or some other creepy thing, and we have nothing in common. But we do!"

"You barely know him, Y/N," Nick chimed in.

"I know him better than any of you!" You cried defensively.

"What?" Sonny looked at everyone confused, but they were just as lost as he was.

"That summer….when I was working with him. We got... close," You muttered the ending.

"I fucking knew it, you did bang him begin my back…" Fin growled.

"It wasn't like that! It's not like that, da--FIN," You actually did usually call him dad or daddy, but since he had been trying to use his dominance you persisted to remind him he wasn't actually your father.

"So what, now you two are in love?" Fin rolled his eyes.

"No! He didn't... we've never….it's never gone there, and I don't even know how he feels," You looked down as you talked. But then, you remembered why you were there in the first place and you raised your head up with eyes of fire.

“And it wouldn't matter anyway because it's none of your business.” You snapped.

“It is absolutely my business Y/N he’s my co-worker, he’s ALL of our co-workers, this affects ALL of us,”

“I knew it,” You scoffed, tears coming to your eyes.

“What?”

“I knew you’d blow up, and freak out, and not even ATTEMPT to open your mind or hear what I have to say, it’s just about you and what makes you okay,” You backed away from all of them.

“So I came here willing to say that I’m done,” You raised your hands.

“What do you mean you’re ‘done’?” Fin crossed his arms.

“With you,” You replied straight faced, willing tears not to fall right now. “Olivia’s right, I can’t help the way I feel, and BELIEVE me I have tried, daddy,” You resorted to your old name for a punch in the gut.

“Y’know whenever Sonny and Nick started, I had ‘crushes’ on them too,” You nodded at the two, who quickly looked uncomfortable picturing you that way.

“But those quickly went away, and I accepted them as my uncles, or whatnot,” You continued. “I have done that since I was in Jr. High, come here and meet my new ‘family’. I’ve always felt maternal or paternal vibes from everyone here, Uncle Brian, Grandpa Kragen and Munch, Uncle Stabler who can rot in hell…” You gave Olivia a sad look.

“But it’s ALWAYS been familial love! And the day I met Rafael, something was different,” You couldn’t help the tears choking your throat. “And I have never, EVER no matter HOW hard I have tried, felt anything like I feel about the rest of you. It’s just....different,”

“And now, you all know. And I know that you don’t like it, or it makes you uneasy, or blah blah blah,” You made blah gestures with your hands.

“But I can’t go back to pretending that it doesn’t kill me every time that I see him, and I’m not going to pretend like I’m okay with dad being-- this,” You gestured to Fin who shifted uncomfortably.

“So, I’m not going to come around here, for a while,” You said sadly.

“We didn’t do anything, cannoli! We’re your family too,” Sonny protested.

“Yeah I know, I just--”

“Look, Y/N before anybody does ANYTHING, you need to go talk to Rafael,”

“What?

“WHAT?!”

Both you and Fin exclaimed at the same time.

“Look I’m not thrilled with the idea of...that, but the bottom line none of this arguing means anything if he doesn’t feel the same way. So I’m saying before you start going off and making threats to US, go talk to him first. Without anybody else’s input,”

“Yeah, alright,” You shrugged and left before anyone else could argue.

--------

You walked into Rafael’s office quietly, not really sure how to start the conversation. He was writing a deposition silently so you knocked on the door to get his attention. He looked up at you with a small smile.

“Hey you,” He got up and walked around his desk as you shut the door behind you. “I was worried about you,” He put his hands on both of your shoulders.

“I know,” You gave him a small smile back. “But you’re right we do need to talk about last night,”

“Yeah, I--” He looked away nervously.

“I already went to my da---Fin, and the squad about this,” You bit your lip.

“....About what?” He was now concerned.

“Us,” You looked at him with a small smile.

“I’m sorry, there’s an ‘us’ now?” Rafael half laughed.

“Well that’s what I’m saying, Rafael!” You bit your lip. “Look after all the fighting and what not, what it boils down to is how you and I feel,”

“.....What are you saying?” Rafael asked, backing away from you.

“I’m asking,” You step forward and took both of his hands and looked at him seriously.

“For you to forget about Fin, or the squad, or an age gap, or all the million other things that are ‘against’ us,” You took a deep breath and asked the hardest question you’ve ever asked anyone:

“I’m asking you...do you love me?”

“Of course I love you Y/N, you’re like a--” Rafael immediately responded, moving away from you and gesturing wildly.

“Do NOT say daughter,” You cut him off. “Or sister, or niece, or cousin. You know that’s not what I’m asking,” You grabbed him and made him look at you again.

“Do you want to be with me?”

“I...it’s complicated,” He broke from your hold and paced his office.

“No I’d say it’s pretty damn simple-- do you feel about me the way I feel about you?” You asked him again.

“I just...I don’t want to become between you and Fin, he’s basically your--”

“He’s NOT my father!” You yelled.

“But he’s the closest thing you have!” Rafael argued, putting his hands over his face and taking a deep sigh.

“Christ almighty, Y/N. I don’t...I don’t want this to be a whole ‘thing’, I don’t want to upset Olivia, or the other squad members, I just...want us to go back to normal,” He gave you a sad look as he sank into his chair behind his desk.

“....Yeah well, normal is not an option, Rafael. And you STILL have not answered my question,” You circled his desk to be closer to him again.

“What question?”

“Dammit, Rafa!” You threw up your hands, then took both of your hands and put them on either side of the chair preventing him from evading you again.

“Look me in the eyes right now, and tell me you’re not in love with me,”

A very long pause began, as the two of you just stared at each other. You were searching his green eyes for a hint, a tell of what he was thinking, but he kept himself very guarded. You hated it.

“...No, I’m not,” He said in the tiniest voice as he looked down at the floor.

“You’re lying,” You pulled back with a sarcastic laugh, tears choking your throat yet again.

“Oh so just because I didn’t say what you wanted me to, I’m lying? For fuck’s sake grow up, Y/N,” Rafael spat at you coldly, turning back to his desk in an attempt to resume working.

“Fine, you know what? Fine. That’s great. You believe whatever you wanna believe Rafael, but things are NOT going back to normal,” You shook your head, trying to be cold and direct but failing as tears fell from your eyes.

“Y/N….” He felt his heart breaking, he hated to see you cry.

“No,” You stopped him. “We’re done. I don’t ever want to see you again. Not here, not at the station, not at the fucking Starbucks down my street!” Your voice raised as more tears fell.

“Y/N, please don’t do this…” Rafael began to panic, realizing what you were saying. He leapt up from his chair and tried grabbing your hands but you pushed him away.

“Don’t call me, don’t text me. Just...leave me hell alone,” And with that you turned on your heels and stormed out of his office, now full on sobbing down the hall.

Unbeknownst to you, Rafael let out an angry scream, running over to his desk and flinging papers everywhere, then proceeded to sink back into his chair behind his desk and cried ever so silently in his office.

-----

It had been about a week since your whole fallout with your “family” and Barba and you weren't doing great.

Then one day you got a phone call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hey Y/N, this is Sandy from the supper club?” You immediately stopped walking when you heard her voice.

“Oh yes how are you?”

“Great, I was wondering if you could come back in and audition for us again?”

“Are you serious? I know I’m going to regret asking but, what made you change your mind?”

“Well your friend Kelsey called and told us that the day you came in and auditioned, your dog had just died that morning. But you didn't want to stand us up so you came anyway. And to be honest with you, all of the other auditions have kind of sucked so we'd like to give you another try.”

“Oh my God thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!!”

“Great so we'll see you tonight at 8:00?”

“Absolutely,”

You hung up the phone and immediately called Kelsey.

“Hello?”

“I love you so much I love you I love you I love you!”

“Oh so they called did they?”

“YES. I cannot believe that you would do that for me,”

“Well I figured you needed a win right now. Since you know you lost your family, and everybody who actually cares about you,”

“....Wow,”

“ You know what I mean! I mean you still have me, and Kenny obviously,”

“....Right. ANYWAY, the audition is tonight so….”

“Yes?”

“Will you play for me?”

“Let me see if I can free up my busy schedule,”

“Ha, Ha,”

“Oh look I’m free! I'll be there after work. Love you bye”

----

*That Night*

You walked into the Supper Club with a brand new outfit and a nervous smile. You noticed Kelsey was already at the piano, waving at you with a huge smile and a thumbs up.

“Hey Sandy, Hey Kyle…” You shook hands with the owners. “Thank you so much again for this chance,

“Girl we should be thanking you, you should’ve seen the ‘talent’ that has stunk up this stage all week!” Kyle laughed.

“So are you ready?” Sandy asked you.

“Yeah, I think I’m good,” You took a deep breath and smiled at her. She nodded at you while you took your spot on stage once again.

You closed your eyes and blocked out everything and everyone out of your mind, except for your song. It was just you, and the stage. This is what mattered.

-----

“....Good to you,” You finished the last line with a breathy note, your eyes still closed. You had kept them shut the entire time just so you wouldn’t look out into the house and just see the horrified looks of your family's faces burned into your brain.

“That was beautiful!!” Sandy clapped her hands. “Do you think you could come back tomorrow night and do that again?”

“Like for a second audition?” You asked hopefully.

“Like as a job,” She grinned back.

“Really?!”

“Yes really! That was enchanting darling, really,” Kyle placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” You nodded for Kelsey to come over as Sandy and Kyle walked away.

“I got the job,” You beamed.

“YOU GOT THE JOB!!!!” She squealed, causing people to stare. You shook your head and lead her out of the club back onto the street.

“Oh my god, Oh my GOD! I’m going to sing to a packed club, night after night after night! Oh my god, I have to call Dad---” Your celebrating tone quickly died when you realized the only people you’d wanna call about this weren’t...there.

“...You can call Kenny,”

“Kenny!” You smiled. “Yes I’ll call Kenny!”

“Hey girl what’s up?”

“I got the job,”

“Wha---at the Supper Club?”

“YES!!!!!!”

“Oh my god you GOT THE JOB!!!” *she got the job!*

You heard him speak to a muffled voice in the background.

“Kenny…”

“Yeah babe what’s up?”

“Who are you with right now?”

“...Alejandro,”

“Oh, Alex! I haven’t seen him in forever, put him on the phone,”

“He uh-- he has food in his mouth,”

“Boy why you lying, tell her she needs to--”

You heard Fin's voice.

“KENNETH,”

“...Yeah?”

“Don’t tell him that! He doesn’t get to know that!”

“Y/N, can’t we just stop all of this--”

“NO. And if you tell him to come tomorrow night I will kill you,”

You hung the phone and noticed Kelsey giving you a look.

“What?” You raised an eyebrow.

“You didn’t have to tell him you were singing tomorrow, you could’ve just texted him so Fin wouldn’t hear,” She smiled mischievously at you. “You want him thereeee,”

"...Maybe," You bit your lip. "Do you think he'll come?"

"I bet they ALL come, baby girl," She winked.

You wondered if she was right. If you'd see Rafael tomorrow, after all this time.

------

“I can’t believe she--” Kenneth stared at the phone, then to Fin.

“Dad, you have to go to her show tomorrow night,”

“Kenny she literally just said she’d kill you--”

“Yeah but dad, we both know her,” He looked at Fin with earnest eyes. “She might be mad at you right now, but she’ll want you there when her dream is coming true,” Fin’s eyes lit up as he finished speaking.

“AND the rest of the squad,” He quickly added, making Fin sigh.

“Yeah,” He agreed.

“AND Barba,”

“...Yeah alright Ken I get it, okay? Finish your food before it gets cold,”

-----

The next day Fin went to see Barba at his office. He knocked softly then entered to see Barba talking with Olivia.

“Detective,” Barba nodded. “Didn’t expect you here, was Olivia not working fast enough?” He teased Liv with a smile.

“Actually I’m glad you’re both here. I need to tell the rest of the guys but-- I wanted to come here first,”

“That sounds ominous, Fin,”

“Actually it’s not,” He shook his head. “Y/N got that job she...auditioned for, a few weeks ago,” He muttered awkwardly not looking Barba in the face.

“Wha--Seriously? How? When?!” Olivia began asking questions rapid fire.

“....Why did you come to tell me this, Fin? You didn’t know Olivia was here,”

“Look, Barba,” Fin sighed, running his hand back across his head. “I don’t-- I don’t need to know the specifics of how close you and my daug---Y/N, are,”

“Oh Fin look I haven’t--”

“Yeah, I figured. She’s iced us all out for a while now,” He chuckled sadly. If he taught you anything, it was how to stand your ground.

“But Kenny said, that as mad as she is we need to be there tomorrow night when she goes on,” He continued. “All of us,”

“Tomorrow?” Barba’s eyes perked up. “Tomorrow night, you want me to go see Y/N?”

“ALL of us,” He emphasized. “But, yeah,”

“Sounds good,” He replied as nonchalant as he could, trying to hide his excitement. He missed you so badly, it scared him how much it hurt not to have you in his life on a daily basis.

“Uh huh,” Fin chuckled, nodding to Olivia. “I’ll see you back at the station,”

“Actually I was on my way out, I’ll see you tomorrow night Rafa,” She winked at him.

As soon as they left his office, Rafael did a fist pump in the air like a kid. He was going to see you, after so long.

He couldn’t wait. He just hoped you couldn’t either.

[saintjimmeh]

So I’ve been getting back into FNAF lore, and I figured I should get my thoughts out on a few things. (Note: I’ll be using only the games that I’ve played, as those are the only ones I'm knowledgeable enough about to consider fully canon. So FNAF 1-4, Sister Location, Pizzeria Simulator, and UCN. Obviously your mileage may vary depending on what you consider canon. Also some of my ideas may have been confirmed or debunked by the novels; I’ve only read the first. This is all just speculation.)

First off, my idea of a possible timeline, from earliest to latest:

-FNAF 4 -FNAF 2 -Sister Location -FNAF 1 -FNAF 3 -Pizzeria Simulator -UCN

Explanations will be under the cut, as this is going to be really long. (Seriously, it’s nearly 4 pages in a google doc.)

FNAF 4 takes place the earliest, in 1983. I’m pretty sure that’s actually confirmed by Scott, but either way, it’s pretty well shoved in your face that that’s the year it takes place. Now, I’ve heard pretty good arguments for the player character being either the crying child or the older brother. I’m not ruling out the latter, but my personal headcanon is that you’re playing as the younger brother, and the nights are occurring after each minigame one at a time. The child is terrified of the party at Fredbear’s that he knows he’ll be forced to attend, which is giving him night terrors. Of course, his older brother isn’t helping. And by the way, just who are these two brothers? Well, this also explains the reason they’re at Fredbear’s so often: they are both William Afton’s children. The older brother is Michael, and the younger is his unnamed, youngest son. Elizabeth also appears as the little girl in the night 3 minigame (and also seems to be following in Michael’s footsteps of tormenting her little brother by telling him the animatronics come to life at night and no one would find his body if they killed him). I feel like at this point in time, there were few hints as to William’s true character, except to his own children. I feel like he was more neglectful than abusive towards them, though he was kind of an asshole parent, which Michael and Elizabeth took after. The night 5 minigame depicts the Bite of ‘83. There was no Bite of ‘87, as I’ll explain below for FNAF 2. But the event took place basically how Phone Guy described the Bite of ‘87: kid’s head was crushed by Fredbear so badly that it caused permanent damage to his frontal lobe. He survived in a vegetative state for a while before eventually dying. This event led to Michael’s complete turnaround as a person; he was so full of guilt for causing his brother’s death that he actively tried to better himself; this led to him taking a job at the new pizzeria in FNAF 2. This is also the most likely time for the springlock suits to have been in use. We see William putting an employee into the Spring Bonnie suit (and Spring Bonnie is also mentioned by a child in the night 3 minigame), as well as a person inside the Fredbear suit (which for shits and giggles I’m going to say is Phone Guy). I’d say around this same time at least one of the springlock suits failed and killed someone. Fredbear’s Family Diner was shut down for investigations; William was cleared but probably sold the diner to pay legal fees. Now, I don’t think he specifically designed the springlock suits to kill people, but they gave him the idea that he could use his animatronics for that purpose.

As I said, in FNAF 2 you play as Michael, working for his dad during the summer. I’ll admit, the one thing throwing that theory off is the fact that the player is named Jeremy Fitzgerald/Fritz Smith. Y’know what, I’m just going to say fuck it and that Jeremy is actually Phone guy and you’re looking at his cheque. Anyway. Much of my speculation on this game comes from hints in Phone Guy’s calls: “I want you to forget anything you may have heard about the old location… some people still have a somewhat negative impression… that old restaurant was kind of left to rot for quite a while.” It’s only been about 4 years since Fredbear’s shut down, and people are obviously still skeptical about a place where multiple people died due to negligence. “I'm sure you've noticed the older models sitting in the back room. Uh, those are from the previous location. We just use them for parts now.” William likely saw an opportunity to keep the old springlock suits around for “parts.” Everything the Phone Guy says about the animatronics’ facial recognition and not having a proper night mode is true. For the first few nights, the murders haven’t taken place yet, and therefore the animatronics aren’t possessed yet, they just have glitchy programming. At least, none are possessed… except for one. Prior to night 1, William made his first kill: Charlotte, whose spirit possessed the Puppet. While the animatronics were only connected to a criminal database, which obviously wouldn’t have had William at this point, either they witnessed the murder or the Puppet somehow gave her knowledge to them, and they saw him as a threat… and who might bear a familial resemblance to William? Michael. Hence their attempts to attack him. “I wanted to ease your mind about any rumors you might have heard lately… whatever is going on out there, and however tragic it may be, has nothing to do with our establishment.” Obviously people are going to talk about a little girl found murdered outside of a children’s pizzeria linked to another where deaths have occurred. Authorities haven’t connected them to William yet, but you know how rumors spread. The 5 child murders took place between nights 3 and 4. In the night 4 phone call, Phone Guy mentions that the animatronics are now acting abnormal around all adults, rather than just Michael. Phone Guy also mentions an investigation, which may either be for Charlotte’s murder or the missing children. After night 4 things really start to go to shit, with the building being on lockdown night 5 and the restaurant closed down on night 6. It seems like there are a few leads by night 6: “Someone used one of the suits. We had a spare in the back, a yellow one, someone used it…” so authorities and staff are aware of one of the suits being used to lure children… by the way, the only yellow suits seen at this point? Fredbear and Spring Bonnie. Now we see the real reason William saved these two. Judging from the animatronics’ AI in game, I’d guess that the childrens’ bodies were hidden in the withered animatronics.  Especially after night 3, they are much more aggressive than the toy animatronics, and they give you a much shorter time window to pull down the Freddy mask. The toys are victims of malfunctioning facial recognition, while the withered animatronics are actively hunting you down. At this point I’d like to mention that I don’t think Phone Guy and William are the same person. Phone guy sounds legitimately freaked out during the night 6 phone call and overall doesn’t sound like he fully understands what’s going on with the murders. He’s also probably been traumatized from this event as well as the deaths from Fredbear’s, and so by FNAF 1 his own timeline of events is messed up. It’s canon that FNAF 2 is set in 1987, and I believe that Phone Guy has gotten the dates of the bite and the murders all jumbled, hence mistakenly referring to the Bite of ‘87 rather than ‘83.

Sister Location… hoo boy, Sister Location… there is a lot to work with here. For starters, this is the last game in which you see any of the Aftons alive. Between FNAF 2 and this game is when William really starts to experiment with gaining immortality, as well as even more gruesome ways to kill children (note that at least one of the springlock suits is here). This is why Circus Baby's Pizza World is in an underground bunker - the restaurant is actually a front for William’s laboratory. Anyway, we all know what happened to Elizabeth prior to the start of the game. Even though William is a monster, he did show that he really loved his daughter and tried to unsuccessfully keep her away from Baby. Elizabeth’s death gave him a lot of guilt, and caused him to become more distant from people - he didn’t seem to take an active role in running the restaurant, and also stopped caring about Michael. Aside from Baby, none of the animatronics are actually possessed. William designed them to be murder machines; they kill when they catch a person alone, and since you’re alone on the night shift… yeah. As for Baby/Elizabeth, there’s some dissonance from the innocent little girl heard before each night and the murderous one found in Baby. Before her death, Elizabeth had mellowed out in the 5-odd years since her little brother’s death, likely from both growing up and guilt at how she treated her brother. Then something in Baby’s programming corrupted her. I’ll actually talk more about this in another post I’m working on, about the animatronics’ personalities, but basically the Elizabeth and Baby personalities are clashing with each other. The “bad” ending is confirmed as the canon ending. Michael’s insides are scooped out and well, that tends to kill people. Ennard wears his skin to escape into the outside world, but the inevitable happens from wearing a literal rotting corpse, and so Ennard ditches the body and hides… somewhere for the next few decades. (And by the way, Ennard is really just Baby in a different form - remember that she’s the only sentient animatronic in this game. Which makes it really weird when you think Elizabeth and Michael’s souls were sharing a body for a while.) Elizabeth’s soul takes Ennard, while Michael re-possesses his own corpse due to something called “remnant”. I’ll admit I don’t know much about what that stuff is, but iirc it’s a substance that allows souls to bind with inanimate objects. Some of it inevitably rubbed off from Ennard.

Now we’re up to FNAF 1, which I’m guessing is set somewhere between ‘95-’97. Despite being the first game in the series, there’s actually not a whole lot to add here lore-wise aside from massive speculation. William has gone into hiding and has nothing to do with this pizzeria; it’s a franchise location. You play as Michael (but since you’re supposed to be dead, you use a fake name, hence why the name on the paycheque is Mike Schmidt. That also explains “odor” being one of the explanations for getting fired). The Golden Freddy cutscene in Sister Location reveals why he is here: “I found it… it was right where you said it would be. They were all there. They didn’t recognise me at first, but then… they thought I was you.” He was looking for the children, probably trying to find a way to free them, and right the wrongs his father had done. But they couldn’t tell Michael apart from William, hence why they try to kill you.

30 years later, most of the people involved in any of the horrors of Fazbear Entertainment have moved on, leaving the original restaurants nothing but a chilling memory. It’s been long enough that a theme park attraction isn’t even in bad taste. Once again, Michael is back to try and fix what his father did, as well as try and confront William. I’d also guess that some remnants of the children are in the attraction. The animatronics themselves are no longer whole, but you can find several of their heads scattered throughout the attraction… now remember in the good and bad endings, you see only the heads. That’s where the children are. Now, there’s a bit of gameplay-story segregation going on here. While the player has to do all the secret minigames to free the childrens’ souls, Michael has a much easier method: set the place on fire. After he was sure that the children and his father were for sure inside Fazbear’s Fright, he burned it to the ground, using the faulty wiring as an out. But… notice how in the Bad Ending screen there is a fifth head that isn’t there in the Good Ending, and Springtrap is revealed to have survived the fire. So William, the fifth child, and Elizabeth are still out there, bringing us to…

Pizzeria Simulator. The mastermind behind this game is Charlotte’s father, Henry, finally enacting his revenge against William. It doesn’t seem like he intended for Michael to take his job offer, but he did anyway, knowing somehow that the others would come to this pizzeria. And they do… Molten Freddy/the rest of Ennard: the fifth child; Scraptrap: William Afton; Baby (who was expelled from Ennard): Elizabeth; and Lefty: Charlotte. Henry is more successful in releasing their souls; he intentionally designed the place with no exit for the animatronics, no way to escape the fire that would destroy them for good and release their souls. Unfortunately, or more likely fortunately, this killed Michael as well (“although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that that’s not what you want. I have a feeling that you are… right where you want to be.”) This was the true end for the tragedies that started all the way back from Fazbear’s Family Diner. They’re all dead for good this time.

As for Ultimate Custom Night… William’s in hell, forced to relive the nightmare he created, night after night.

[milk-addicc]

I really liked that post you made about how Capcom feels about Narumitsu. And I'm wondering how do you think they feel about Narumayo? Personally to me it feels like they throw more hints at Narumitsu since with the other one if Takami wanted it to be canon he would of done it at the end of T&T. I also think the team could of made it more obvious in SoJ with Maya's big return but I never really saw the hints but I know I'm biased lol.

oh i’m glad you like my rambles haha;;

ahh... that ship, 

well first, about the whole Takumi “wanting narumitsu to be canon” thing, its not exactly making them canon but have more fanservice leaning heavy towards narumitsu (which was declined by the director(?) who claimed, i sorta agree with, that the game did well even without the narumitsu hinting since in the first game they didn’t have that intention and it was pure coincidence that their relationship was just THAT deep and meaningful which is incredible lmao, Takumi and co managed to slip his warning and still put at least some of the hints in TT tho hhh-). so even then, i doubt the crew actually want the endgame to come so soon hh.

okay, back on topic. what i think about naru//mayo? yea, i’m not keen on that ship personally at all, actually i despise it. like, they first met in the office, in front of their dead loved one, Mia. Maya was 17, Phoenix was 24. you have Maya, who’s supposedly still in HIGH SCHOOL and Phoenix, who has GRADUATED COLLEGE, has a JOB, and most likely has PAID HIS OWN BILLS. from that point alone, it should already feel weird. 

Maya’s an adolescence, a teenager, she just lost her sister and barely grew up, in a way she’s still innocent, notice how she tend to ask random questions and or say things that she thinks makes sense or amusing, she tends to be naive too. its kinda like.. a child.

and Phoenix on the other hand, is a grown man. heck even Maya says he’s an “old fart”, they’re legit aware of their own age gap in game and outright say it. if anything, they both act like self-aware best friends/brother-sister than romantically. even Maya said it herself, she wants to be a good big sister for Pearl and Nick.

now how about we ignore this obvious fact just for a little while and try to see it from only their interactions in-franchise. heres the kicker, you may not see it in game since they only lightly nudges about this ship (usually with Pearl, and was dismissed by Maya right after.), but in some of AA spin off mangas (and from what i heard, one of the stage shows), for some reason, this ship has their own hints despite being completely aware that Maya is a teenager.

but its okay now don’t hold your breaths, 

their “hints” are more of a one-off ish thing, most of the time a gag and not taken seriously, and unlike other ship per say narumitsu, where it actually affects their lives and changed it forever IN-GAME. “i care about Maya and understands her” and “i became an attorney because of you, Edgeworth and i don’t have any regrets” are both literally incomparable, especially given Phoenix and Edgeworth’s history together in-game canon.

anyway, here’s some common arguments i’ve encountered about this particular ship :

“but Phoenix cares about Maya a lot! he literally went through a trial against a hitman and run through a burning bridge for her!”

“Phoenix blushed and goes red when Pearl says he’s Maya’s special someone and he stutters!”

“Well my parents had a huge age gap!"

“well, Maya is 18 in AA2″

“considering Maya is a christmas cake now, Nick better tap that” 

“she’s an adult in AA6 tho”

now lets dissect each of these,

yes, Phoenix cares about Maya a lot he literally did cross a burning bridge for her but people seem to forget that this is the same man who turned his life around, abandon his dreams, study law for four years, and became an attorney to meet one man and willing to defend a girl who looks like his psychotic ex that nearly poisoned him in court. he literally would believe in his clients’s innocence no matter what, he’s by nature would sacrifice anything and even his life for someone. so its normal that he cares about Maya, but is it romantic? i doubt it, he cares about her safety and well being but does it have to be a romantic hint? no, of course not, he’s just very selfless for the people he cares about and Maya has no one to help her but Nick when she’s in trouble, he’s one of few adults she can trust and will help her out.

oh so blushing and stuttering due to embarrassment means having feelings now? and about the stuttering, he literally stutters around Edgeworth a lot lol. i’m starting to feel like people ships naru//mayo not because of their depth but because Pearl said so. Pearl finds them should be together and keep shoving the audience with Nick being “Mystic Maya’s special someone”, well if thats the case, they also explained why this happened, in-game. Pearl grew up very sheltered and among unhealthy marriages she just assumes a girl and a boy together means they’re dating and being “special someones”. she most likely just wants her cousin to be in a happy relationship unlike her parents where her father left both her and her mother but didn’t know any better because she was eight years old.

https://youtu.be/FGAqQkMEKNs?start=674&end=776

now about the parent thing and taking it personal, well my parents too had a huge age-gap of 7 years. but how come is it okay? its because they met when my mum was already a career woman at 26. she’s already an adult when my dad met her. what does this mean? it means my parents were both adults when they’re together, this is why i still like GumMaggey despite their age gap so wide, they first met when Maggey has already had a career, supposedly in her 20′s, she’s a young adult, she can buy alcohol by herself, already knows whats right and wrong and has live life independently, not a still hormonal teenager who depends on one adult figure. did your parents date when your mum is in highschool while your dad is like in his mid 20′s? sorry to hear that.

as for the last three arguments, i don’t even want to touch any of them with a five-foot pole. are you listening to yourself? do you not feel like you’re a creep typing that?

let me give you a benefit of the doubt. yes she’s older and legally an adult, but are you really discrediting the fact they met when Maya was still in highschool? they met and became friends when she’s 17 and he’s 24. sure they barely met during disbarment era, but should that change anything? why should it? how should it? like this?

“Oh this is Maya, i haven’t met her in years but boy she sure has grown up can’t wait to date her since she’s legal now.”

because thats what that argument sounds like, YIKES. 

you know? if they met under a different circumstance and Maya was like 19, i’d let it go. but they didn’t, they met because of a horrible loss, Maya, still in training, 17 lost her big sister and Phoenix, a rookie, at 24 lost his mentor. 

in conclusion, i don’t like naru//mayo at all

pairing them feels like pairing Edgeworth with Kay or Phoenix with Ema, just because they partnered in investigations, make playful jabs at each other, and saved each others’s lives before, people just think they like each other romantically despite their age-gap in first meetings (not to mention Kay sees Edgeworth as somewhat of a father figure, and she’s nearly 18 while Edgeworth is the same age as Phoenix). especially with how Maya, being a zoomer, calls Phoenix an “old fart” and just makes jokes about how so out-of-touch Phoenix is with the modern entertainment.

from observations, i have a huge hunch that almost all of them pair these two because :

1. Maya’s a girl protagonist so its a male protagonist x female protagonist type of deal and despise narumitsu because “yaoi”

2. AA6 she’s an adult so she’s legal which is damn creepy on its own, or last

3. because of Pearl shipping them in game despite being an eight year old and was so sheltered she thought a man and a woman being next to each other means they’re special someones.

either way, i only see them as best friends, sibling-like relationship with self awareness here and there since they tease the audience a lot with their gag “hints” in spin-off mangas and game. 

not only that, it kinda showcase how all male/female bond don’t have to be romantic, they can be just friends or familial and still hang together. another plus for the franchise right after encouraging moving on from ex partners. *glancing at Phoenix//Iris*

and as to the people who pairs this for some odd reasons, sometimes i just want to ask these questions,

“how would you feel if you’re in Phoenix’s shoes? met your mentor’s little sister at age 17 while you’re 24, would you feel romantically interested in this high schooler?” because i don’t, to me anyone 3 years younger than me is like a baby, how would Phoenix feel when Maya’s 7 years younger?

“also... why even? narumitsu and other less questionable pairings are RIGHT THERE in the open!”

but oh well people can like and pair whatever hhh, 

and there you have it, my even longer rambling hahaha sorry;;

Edit : To add the final nail to the coffin, Phoenix outright has said that Maya’s like his kid, like a niece.

Edit 2 : remember that this is simply my personal take, you can somewhat use this to make yourself feel better about your pair nor simply just to hate on the ship itself but do not use this to dictate actual people what to ship and not to ship. 

please don’t be destructive towards others.

[vicecityhq]

██████████████]99% loading…suspect into the apd database…

WITNESS(ES) SAY HE REMINDS THEM OF: glasses, academia, coffee shops . with a slight resemblance to JEON JUNGKOOK of/the BTS.

CLICK BELOW TO VIEW ENTIRE FILE.

FULL FILE:

last name, first name: lee, david alias: electro realm of birth(if earth, nationality): earth age: 23 date of birth: september 1, 1997 gender: cis-gender male preferred pronouns: he/him, they/them species: cyborg level 1, civilian sexual orientation: questioning

VISUAL FILE:

skin color: light tanned eye color: dark brown, blue tint when using eye enhancemets scars: none reported piercings: both ears tattoos: a simple black star on left wrist hair color: black, dyed a variety of colors at times abnormalities: none reported horns/ wings/ etc: none transformed form: none

PERSONAL FILE:

powers & abilities: enhanced vision, lens screen, vital monitor and data collection, temperature scanning, night vision, light adjustment vision, app synchronization (photo, video recording, downloading) traits: determined, aloof

BACKGROUND CHECK:

date of birth: september 1, 1997

date of death: -

crime record: a clean record

BACKGROUND/BIOGRAPHY:

david was the 2nd born in his family, to a career solider and a

struggling

opera singer. his sister was 1st and her words upon seeing him as a baby was “i’m cuter.”at times he felt neglected given that his sister was getting more attention that him, she was the golden child while he was …david, quiet most of the time but had moments of intense energy. his parents enrolled him a variety of sports which kept him in check. he excelled in martial arts (taekwondo and kumdo) and basketball which was used as leverage to keep in ballet. that was something his mother wanted for both of her children, though he never got a reason why. near the end of elementary school his parent’s divorced and his mother remarried a “rich man”. though he was kind he was very distant to him. his sister however took a liling to increases social status she had.

it was during middle school did david and his sister start to grow apart. sneaking out, skipping class, among other things became his sister’s focus. he had an idea of some things but didn’t speak on them since it would lead to an argument. “boring and straight laced” was what she called him, he and to edge to him. the young boy’s concern was to make in on a national team, it didn’t matter the sport. david used his studies as a shield against the chaos around him, not just at home and school, but the city in general. sometimes it felt like a comic with how crime was almost normalized be it in the background or directly involving you. he kept his circle small and hid most information about himself, his image had to be pure for the scouts and his future career.

given the reputation of his father, david knew military enlistment was the next step college or not. now being in the army was a double edge sword. there wasn’t this pressure to perform like say the marines but he was held to a higher standard. sometimes he was afforded privildges like extra time but also more severe punishments for making the same mistake as others. just going for 2 years wasn’t enough, he was expected to stay for 3. not for his own goals or wants but that of his father. it was during this time did david see that he had lived a rather comfortable life compared to others in his unit, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have any issues. the constant question on his mind was “where do i belong?”.  well the military wasn’t the answer, his discharge date couldn’t come soon enough and when it came, he was already in another system. college.

a bit older and wiser, david could fully focus on his studies (again) something he was happy about and rebuild some parts of his past that he couldn’t while serving. while he is aware his parents expect to major in something like medicine or law, he has no interest in either. his duties to his family and country are complete. it’s for david to live for himself. during his 1st year of college his sister got married much to the joy of his parents. his brother-in-law was “well put together” despite being a little off in his manners. it wasn’t until a few months later did his sister reveal she married a vampire along with hints of her planning to become one. their step-dad was willing to overlook all of his since it met more access to money and power however their mom had reservations. knowing her relationship was rocky with her daughter, she asked david to look after her.

this was 1 of the few times in his life he went against his parents wishes. david had a real chance to be a top athlete and having a gang affiliation wouldn’t help. even if he did have access to money and in some ways protection it was too big of a risk. his sister made her choice to get and stay involved, if she did need help he would but only from her directly. not going through with it put distance between the young man and his mom. maybe it was pressure of college, stress, or still trying to answer the question but david had a chance to “be better” and secretly got an enhancement on his eyes. this afforded him the ability to study in any lighting and pick up on details he would other wise miss. his grade improved greatly but the bigger reward was that his physical fitness was fine tuned to the point he could stay at his peak. with his enhancement he could monitor his calorie intake and vitals, adjust his work out plan so his whole body performing at it’s maximum. this offered him some stability as he had something to thrive for and could take his mind off of the less appealing parts of his life.

INTERVIEW QUESTION (PARA SAMPLE): “JUST RUN US THROUGH WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT”. - OFFICER

he was nervous looking at the “window” of the home unsure if there was others on the other side. running his hand through his hair was a ploy to cover his eye and scan for temperature, a rather unused feature of his eyes. he sighed out of relief not “seeing” anyone though he knew to not let his guard down. again the officer repeated their statement. this time he looked at them directly hands under the table quietly toying with the zipper of his jacket, “i was going home from the library but stopped at the store for a drink.” that was true, it was all true. though now he wished he just went straight home. “but you didn’t see the fight?” the officer raised a brow not totally convinced. “no, i wasn’t focused on that. i heard people yelling but didn’t look that’s how you get jumped. it wasn’t my business so i kept going,” he answered. “uh…david, you’re in school right? what do you want to be?” this sad attempt to relate to him. “that’s really irrelevant to why i’m here, shouldn’t you be talking to them or the store owner? i don’t know why i’m here, when i didn’t do anything.” his words had a hint of annoyance, he wasn’t a child. “you are a witness, maybe not a good one but still one regardless. even if your details are…missing. it’s enough with common sense to help confirm the series of events.” the officer replied, “you may go.” he was didn’t need to be told twice with his bag already on his shoulder and made his way out of the station.

[avocadogirl216]

Left Behind

Anon requested: Hey! Would you be willing to write something where the winchesters drop their sister who is in her younger teen years (13-14ish) off at bobby's when they go on a hunt and shes super upset about it so she wont talk to them when they call or even when they come to pick her up? And it ends up with her and Dean having some big argument and Sam having to calm the down?

AN: This story took a lot longer than I expected to write and I am so sorry that you had to wait, whoever you are,  I changed it up a little towards the end, sorry.  And sorry if this was crap.

Summary:  When Sam and Dean leave you behind for a hunt, you don’t take it very well.

Warnings:  Angst, Sibling Arguing, Language, Fluff at the end.

Pairings:  Dean x sister!reader, Sam x sister!reader, Bobby x reader

Word Count: 2252

Y/N’s POV

You were currently in the backseat of the impala listening to your older bothers conversation.  Sam was talking about some hunt in Minnesota.  Dean was nodding his head along with the conversation, both paying attention to Sam and the road in front of him.  You listened with curiosity as you tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together in your head.  There were bite marks on all of the victims, they were all missing blood but they were also missing their hearts.

“Sounds like we’re dealing with a vamp and werewolf combo.”  You said as you leaned over the front seat between your brothers to be a part of the conversation.

“Or...”  Dean said.

“Or what?”  Sam asked as he started to scroll through the news articles to get more information on the case, not even bothering to look up from his iPad.

“Come on.  I know you want to say it.”  Dean said with a smile while looking over to the both of you.  “A were-pire.”  He said with a proud voice.

You and Sam both groaned in sync.

“Dude, just drop it already.  There is no such thing as a were-pire.”  Sam stated in a matter of faculty tone.

“Says you.”  Dean said, returning his attention to the road.

“Anyways... how far away are we from the case?”  You asked as you looked over Sam’s broad shoulder.

“Well lets see.  We’re in Cheyenne, Wyoming and the case is in Stillwater, Minnesota.  So we’re about 13 hours out.”  Dean said.

You groaned yet again to the thought of being in the car with your brothers for that long.  

“What are you groaning about over there Rugrat?”  Dean asked.

“Maybe the fact that I have to spend 13 hours with you two dumb nuts.” 

Sam looked up from his iPad and have you a weird look along with Dean.  “Umm, you’re not going to.”  Sam said.

You were now confused.  “What do you mean?  I’m gonna work the case with you two and in order for me to do that I have to get over there which involves me staying in the car with my brothers for 13 hours.”  You explained in a duh tone.

“Who said that you were coming along?” Dean asked, still looking at you like you just grew two heads.

“Umm... well... no one but I thought that I was going to work the case with you guys.  Right?”  You asked with a hint of insecurity.

Sam and Dean shared a look, having a silent conversation with each other.

“That wasn’t really the plan squirt.”  Sam said now turning in the seat to face you.

“Then what is the plan?”

“We were going to drop you off at Bobby’s and then Dean and I are going to work the case.”  Sam explained.

“What?  I thought that I was going to help you with the case.”  

“Not quite.  You’re not ready for hunting yet.”

“What do you mean?  I’ve worked my ass off with training every single day for the past 3 years and now I can’t go hunting with you two.  How is that fair?”  You said in a pissed off tone.

“Y/N I know that you want to come but your just not quite ready yet.”  Sam said in a patient tone, sensing your anger.

“The hell I’m not!  I-”  You were quickly cut off by Dean.

“Okay first of all, watch your language and second of all, your going to Bobby’s while me and Sam work the case.  End of discussion.”  Dean said in a tone that he used with you when you were starting to take things too far.

“But-”  You started.

“No ands, ifs, or buts about it.  I’ve already made up my mind and that is that, whether you like it or not.”

You sigh as you decided to go with the smart choice and keep your mouth shut.  You leaned back into your seat and start to fidget with the bracelet that you always wore on your wrist, hoping that it would help you cool off a bit.

After another couple of hours in the car, you pull up in front of Bobby’s house.  You grab your duffel from beside you and sling it over your shoulder.  As you start to open the backdoor to the impala, Sam starts to speak.  

“Love you kiddo.”  He said with a small, loving smile on his face.

You get out of the car, slam the door and walk towards the front porch all without saying a word to either of your older brothers.

~~~~~~

Its been four days since your brothers left for the case without you.  You hated that you couldn’t be there with them, saving people and hunting things.  The family business that you were supposed to be a part of.  Sure you were only 14 but you knew all there was to hunting and you take care of yourself.

Whenever your brothers are away on a hunt, they call everyday to check in.  Usually you answer the phone happily, eager to talk to your brothers and see how the case was going, but this time it was different.  You’ve been ignoring their calls and texts.  They’ve even called Bobby to try to get a hold of you but you still declined.  You were a Winchester which meant that you were hot headed and stubborn.  

You were now scrolling through Youtube, trying to find an interesting video to pass the time.  You’ve already looked at all possible cases on the police radar but there was nothing other than the case that Sam and Dean were working.  You were about to lay down for a nap, hoping that it would kill a couple of hours but you were interrupted with a knock on the door.  

“Come in!”  You yelled as you turned off your phone and placed it onto the bed next to your thigh.

The door opened and Bobby walked in.  “Hey Y/N.  I was just letting you know that your brothers are back from the case.”  He said.

“Oh, okay.”  You said as you picked your phone back up, showing that you weren’t interested in going to see them.

Bobby sighed while he ran a hand on his face.  “Look I get that your mad at them but at least acknowledge them.”

“I am acknowledging them.  I am acknowledging the fact that I am mad at them and therefore I do not want to make conversation with them.”  You said as you kept your attention on the small screen.

Bobby sighed yet again and walked out of the room while closing the door behind him.  There was a minute of silence then the door opened again.  You raised your head to see who walked in.  You were disappointed and pissed as you watched Sam and Dean walk into the room.  Sam came in first and leaned onto the wall opposite of you as Dean walked in and closed the door.  Dean then turned to face you as he crossed his arms across this broad chest as he stared you down.  You returned the gesture.  After a minute of silence between the three of you Dean finally spoke.

“So Y/N, anything to say.” 

“Nope.”  You replied as you returned your gaze to your phone.

Dean made it across the room in four steps and took the phone out of your hand in order for you to be focused on him.

“Oh so this is the reason why you didn’t answer us, you were too busy being on the internet to give five minutes to your brothers.”  Dean said as he held up your phone just out of reach.

You sighed as you leaned back into the headboard and crossed your arms, not even making a move to get the phone back.  “If you want to assume that.  Like you always do.”  You said in an icy tone.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”  Dean asked, anger flashing his eyes.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that I can’t hunt because I’m not good enough.”  

“Who ever said that?” 

“No one did.  I’m just saying what’s on everyone's mind.”  

“Now look at whose assuming things.”  Dean scoffed.

“I’m not assuming anything.  I’m just stating facts.”  You argued back.

“Well no one asked you to do that.”

“Yeah well, no one asked you to come talk to me.”  You said as you stood up and walked up to Dean.  “No one asked you to be here.”

“No one had to.  It’s my job to be here for you.”  Dean said as he looked down at you with a deadly glare.

“Yeah?  How can you be here for me when your on the other side of the fucking country?  How can you be here for me when you just dump me here and take off?  Huh?  Riddle me that!”  You said as tears start to form in your eyes.

“Y/N, its for your own good.  Its for your safety.”  Dean sighed as he drug his hand down his face.  “We’ve been over this.”

“Yeah I know Dean but its stupid.”  You huffed in frustration.  “I’ve trained over and over again for the past three years without complaint.  I’ve taken both of you down before and I know how to use just about every weapon known to man.  Not to mention that you two will be there with me for every step of the way, protecting me from getting hurt or worse.”

“That’s what I’m talking about Y/N!  I know that you can handle yourself, hell you’ve kicked my ass more times than I like to admit but there is always that possibility that something will go wrong.  There is always that possibility that you will get hurt or worse on a hunt.  We don’t take you with us because we’re scared of what will happen.”  Dean explained with some of his anger melting away.

“Don’t you think that I know that Dean?  Believe me, I know the risks of hunting.  Look at Dad, Ellen, Jo, Ash and Pamela, they were in this life and they suffered the consequences of it.  But one thing that I can trust is you two.”  You said as you looked between your brothers.  “I trust the fact that when you two are with me, that everything will be okay.  I trust the fact that you will keep me safe.”

“Then there is your first mistake.  Everyone that was in this life and knew us are now dead.  Dad, Ellen, Jo, Ash and Pamela are all dead because of us.  All we do is get the people that we are close to and love killed.  We can’t protect you anymore than we can protect them.”  Dean said as his voice broke.  “We can’t protect you.”

As you heard Dean say those words, anger started to boil in your veins.  The need to cry was replaced with the need to punch something, preferably your brother for thinking so low about himself and Sam.

You suddenly take a swing at your brother, catching him off guard.  “Don’t you say that!”  You cried as you punched him yet again in the face, making him take a step back.  “After everything that you have done for us, for them!  You cannot just throw that out there like it is true because its not!”  You yelled at him as tears spilled down your face.  You took a step so that you could punch him in the face again but a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind to stop you from going further.  You thrashed against Sam’s hold as much as you could.  You were practically bawling now.  “You don’t get to say that.”  You said as you finally stopped fighting Sam and you turned around and hugged his toned body.

Dean now had tears streaming down his face as he looked at you with both sadness and shock.  Sam was shushing you, trying to make you calm down a bit.  You had a death grip on his flannel as your tears started to make the material damp.  After a couple of seconds, you felt Dean start to take you into his arms.  You quickly turned and hugged Dean’s torso as tight as you could.  You felt tears start to fall onto your head as Dean silently cried.  After a minute of standing there you decided to speak.

“Don’t ever say that again.  It wasn’t your fault that they died.”  You said as you turned to look at Sam who also had tears in his eyes.  “Or yours.  Don’t ever think that.  You understand?” 

Dean sniffled and looked into your eyes.  “Yeah.”

“And don’t ever think that you can’t protect me.  I trust you two more than anyone.  I know for a fact that you two will be there when I need you the most.  And I’m sorry that I gave you such a hard time this past week.  You were just trying to keep me safe even though I was acting like a total super bitch.”  You explained.  “I trust that I will go on a hunt with you two when I’m ready.  And that doesn’t mean when I’m 30 either.”

Both Sam and Dean chuckled at that.

“Com´er.”  Dean said as he engulfed you in another bone crushing hug.  Sam joined in shortly after. 

You knew that you were going to be okay now that your brothers are there when you need them most.