#i am yapping so much again
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the-travelling-witch · 9 hours ago
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ahhh ian, omg i loved reading your reaction!! <3
first of all, you took the words right out of my mouth, i LOVE me a good unlikely friendship, like give me a group of people who otherwise never would have met if it weren’t for that very specific set of circumstances and who start bonding over it, i’ll EAT IT UP!!
that’s why i really wanted to write yuusha + yuuna + cass, let those girls (gn) form their nrc support group, they deserve it after dealing with everyone’s bs on the daily ㅠㅠ like sure they raise an eyebrow on who the other gets involved with but omg if someone else has something to say about any of them—
(also what are the chances cass and yuusha find out about riddle’s little crush before yuuna 👀 (i think we both adore the heartshackle dynamic, so adeuce + ramshackle support group is definitely going to cause some trouble))
“your ocs always have some of your traits” well selene and angelica’s is that i can never be mean to oz ever ㅠㅠ /silly; and YEAH jamil needs to start profusely thanking angelica for saving his life bc if she hadn’t been created the literal same hour as selene, you know i absolutely would have pushed my bug oc on jamil :3c (time to make another bug oc for no reason whatsoever)
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oh carmilla would be a great wingwoman if she wanted to but if she helps you, it’s the same as jade or azul suddenly deciding to help (though i’d say, she is even more discreet about her motives bc she’s not as shady overall jshsh); her reasoning for playing cupid this time around was sth along the lines of “jamil is in a terrible mood and projects it around the entire dorm and it harshes my vibe —> spending time with the prefect would put him in a better mood —> i get to relax around the dorm again with minimal effort + i get to declutter + it would probably net me some bonus points with the prefect (um related) = win-win-win situation” (meaning carmilla wins thrice with no drawback lol)
she tells jade about it later that day and he wonders if it’s too early to look up fae marriage customs /j (he found someone to match his freak hshsh)
(i said this to syder already but i think carmilla does have a bit of a soft spot for mayu, meaning she would have also helped if it was only a win-win situation /j. she'll ask 'is no one going to subtly support this magicless human while pretending not to care too much' and then not wait for an answer; news just in: fae now whisk lost humans away to assume the role of their big sisters / silly)
anyway, seeing your reblog was like an instant serotonin boost and i’m still so giddy, if it wasn’t obvious by now, i love talking about all my chaos children <333
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𝐎𝐂 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐍𝐒 (𝐟𝐭. 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐬' 𝐨𝐜𝐬)
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summary: i was plagued by the visions of my twst ocs interacting with my moots’ ocs, so here we are (aka i had a sudden burst of motivation to write about them interacting and now i'm very nervous to post this)
characters: cassandra, selene, angelica, carmilla (my ocs); @crystallizsch’s yuusha and yuuna, @viperbunnies’s oz (ft. yuudai), @anbaisai’s mayu
warnings: bullying (oz's part); jamil slander bc i love him <3 (all parts)
a/n: if i ever manifest in your dms with cryptic questions about your ocs, be not afraid, just answer them :3c (also i need to set up my oc directory and finish some intros fr)
twisted wonderland masterlist
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CASS + YUUSHA + YUUNA
The sun was still high and clear in the sky as Yuusha made her way towards Ramshackle. Most students had already either returned to their dorm by this time or were still goofing off with their friends, sparing her any unnecessary run-ins with any of the college’s troublemakers. But, at NRC, a day could only stay peaceful for so long. When she passed by the mirror chamber, her phone vibrated.
Ramshackle Support Group 
yuuna: @.yuusha be careful when you come back to the dorm yuuna: the stairs to the second floor caved in again yuusha: i’m still close to the school, i’ll go talk to crowley about it Cass: Wait for me, I’d also like to have a chat with the Headmage. yuusha: we’re not killing him Cass: Not even a little?
A few hours later, with the sun already far behind the horizon, the three girls fell onto Ramshackle’s rickety couches in exhaustion. Crowley had very generously provided them with funds to purchase supplies for repairing the stairs, but had otherwise not lifted a single clawed finger. Likewise, Grim was nowhere to be seen when he heard of physical labour.
“So,” Cass broke the silence, lifting her head from a cushion, “when are we going to ask Kalim for help instead of that useless weirdo?”
“We can’t just go and mooch off Kalim just because he’s rich,” Yuusha interjected, rolling over and settling into a more comfortable position at the other end of the sofa.
“Why not? Every other student in this school seems to be absolutely loaded. We, on the other hand…” Cass fished out a pillow under her golden locks and demonstrably pulled open the entire seam by a loose thread. “It’s not like Kalim would even notice.”
“Well, by that standard,” Yuuna chimed up while straightening out the bow in their hair, “why don’t you go ask Leona, Cass? I’m sure he’d be more than willing to help you out.”
“Yeah right, and next you know Azul will start handing out freebies,” the blonde snorted. Discarding the thread between her fingers on the coffee table, she started fiddling with the frazzled pillow cover instead. “Why are you bringing him up anyway? Aren’t Idia or Malleus or Vil just as rich?”
Her dorm mates exchanged knowing looks before Yuusha tilted her head towards Cassandra again with a grin. “Oh c’mon, we both have eyes you know.”
“And I’m not sure if those are working correctly.”
“Why deny it?” Yuuna giggled, taking a sip from the mug cradled between their hands. “Sure, Leona’s got an attitude problem and is generally unpleasant, but it could be worse. Probably.”
“You’re imagining things, why would I—“ Breaking herself off with a sharp exhale, Cass pulled the seam taught between her hands. “I’d rather throw myself headfirst into a pit of horned serpents than ask that ass for a favour.”
“Mhm, I’m sure you’d like to ask that ass something else instead,” Yuusha gleefully joined in the teasing. A second later a certain cushion hit her square in the chest, which didn’t deter her. “Or are you saying you decided to join Jack’s morning run, which just so happens to end at Savanaclaw’s morning practice, with no ulterior motive?”
“It certainly wasn’t so I could see Leona more! But anyway, since I already brought up snakes just now,” Cass started, turning her bright eyes on Yuusha. “Why don’t we talk about what I saw when passing by the courtyard this afternoon?”
With a telling glance towards Yuuna, who sat curled up in their armchair now, Cass added, “Involving a certain Vice Housewarden.”
“Oh my god! Did you come home late because you were meeting with Jamil?” There was genuine excitement in Yuuna’s voice as they perked up where they sat. “You gotta spill the beans now.”
“Only if a certain someone spills the tea on her and a certain lion.” The pillow flew back towards Cass.
“There’s nothing to spill here,” Cass retorted, catching the projectile easily.
“Oh right, by the same chance Grim will pass the next potions exam.”
“I noticed you didn’t deny that there was something going on between the two of you.”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Yes!”
“Both of us actually!!”
It was a long night at Ramshackle. (Some say they’re still debating their terrible taste in men to this day.)
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SELENE + ANGELICA + OZ (ft. Yuudai)
Of course this would happen to him of all people. If anyone was unlucky enough to accidentally delete the message stating where the film research club would be meeting and then miss Yuudai, who had forgotten his phone at the dorm that day, by a few minutes, of course it would be him. And though he knew better, when Oz was running all over campus trying to find the prefect, he started hoping to run into someone who could point him in the right direction. Which was when he quite literally ran into magift players on their way home from a gruelling practice and looking to blow off some steam. 
“Tch, I thought I smelled another beastman around,” one of them scoffed as they started crowding around Oz, making him scrunch his nose in distaste. “Turns out it was just this little runt.”
“Yer always hoppin’ all over the place, aren’t ya?” The one on the left joined in, laughing as he started jabbing his finger into Oz’s birthmark. “Why don’t ya show us a trick, ya little freak?”
“Look who’s talking.” A clear voice cut through the air. Over the guys’ shoulders Oz could spot green hair and a pair of orange antennae. Selene looked entirely unimpressed by the scene she was witnessing. The dark-skinned girl walking next to her didn’t look any happier either. “The only freaks I’m seeing are the giant idiots running their mouths for no reason. Are you having fun only picking on people smaller than you?”
“Ha? You got some kind of problem, you bug-legged freak?”
“Oh, no, you’re the only ones with some kind of problem here. Your vernacular for example,” Selene waved them off. Her voice made it clear that she was completely over this conversation and considered talking to them a waste of her time. Slipping a phial out of her pockets, she swirled its luminescent contents around with a pensive look on her face before fixing her gaze on the magift players again. “Since you never pick on anyone your size maybe I should shrink you down to the size of mice? I need to test this one anyway…”
Seeing the seriousness in her expression the guys urgently whispered between each other before deciding to scram but not without hurling a few more insults at the Pomefiore student. In response, Selene only gave them a meaningful look and her lip curled slightly at the corner.
“If I was you, I’d be careful with the cafeteria food for the next few days. Who knows what could accidentally slip in there.”
With the athletes out of sight, Oz’s shoulders finally dropped their tension and he heaved a sigh as he approached the two girls. By now, the potion had already vanished somewhere behind the width of Selene’s flowy sleeves.
“Thanks for stepping in,” Oz started, before adding a little more hesitantly, “but you wouldn’t actually spike their food, right?”
“It’s true that I’ll eventually have to give this potion to a person but I’m still perfecting the ratio of the ingredients,” Selene shrugged nonchalantly. Seeing Oz’s unconvinced expression she added with a small smile, “As long as they think there’s the chance that I would, it’s sufficient. Some people would call human experimentation at this stage unethical. And frankly, that’s more paperwork than I care to bother with, so don’t worry about it.“
“‘Those people’ are called an ethics committee, Sel, for the seven’s sake. Also quit making such jokes or Oz will think you’re being serious about it,” Angelica spoke up, exasperation and fondness mixing in her tone as she smiled at her girlfriend. As she shook her head, the star-shaped buns on her head bobbed, making various accessories in her hair glitter like stars in the night sky. Then she turned her dark eyes on Oz. “Anyway, that aside, are you okay?”
“Just a bit shaken up, but otherwise I’m fine,” he said. Absent-mindedly, one of his gloved hands traced the spot where the guy had poked him but Selene’s dual-coloured eyes caught on to the movement. Digging through her purse, she procured a compact mirror and concealer.
“Your make-up came off a little. If it makes you more comfortable, you can touch it up. It won’t be perfect but our teint is similar enough for it to pass.” Holding the utensils out to him, Oz took them from her. “The cushion’s unused if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Oh no, that’s not it.” Considering just leaving it at that, Oz trailed off before exhaling deeply. From all the brief times he’d talked to Angelica and Selene, he didn’t think they’d make fun of him for what he was about to say, so he plucked up his courage. “It just feels a little silly sometimes that I care so much about something like a birthmark.”
The girls exchanged a quick glance before Angelica smiled at him warmly, reaching out to hold the concealer while Oz applied it in the mirror. “I don’t think it’s silly at all, if that helps you.”
“I agree,” Selene nodded, adjusting her glasses afterwards. “We all have traits we feel insecure about, especially if others have commented unfavourably on them in the past. Some days we feel more comfortable showing them and on others we’d rather hide them from view. I think most people feel like that.”
When she took the make-up from him again, Oz couldn’t help but notice the pink colour staining her arms from the tips of her fingers to her elbow. He obviously had known it was there, but hadn’t paid it much mind up until now. Something told him Selene had personal experience in the matter as well.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Angelica spoke up again, “what happened earlier anyway? I find it hard to imagine that you wronged them somehow.”
“Oh!” Oz suddenly remembered the club meet he had to get to, so he very quickly explained his problem to the couple, who listened attentively even as he nervously thumped his foot and nearly bit his tongue. “So just when I started hoping to find anyone from the film research club, I ran into them instead.”
“Well, you found someone who can help you in the end after all. Though we’re not from the film club, Selene has something she wants to ask Vil, so we were actually just on our way to meet them.” The Ignihyde student’s voice was so light and welcoming as she spoke, it was hard to imagine she actually went to NRC. “If you want to, you can accompany us.”
“That would be a big help,” Oz took her up on the offer. 
Soon enough, the late afternoon was filled with the usual complaints levelled at teachers and classmates. Selene described how she had passed by the first year’s botany class on mandrakes recently and had nearly had a heart attack because she had thought she heard one of the plants scream, but it had turned out to be Sebek instead. The art teacher had once nearly tossed out Azul’s assignment because they hadn’t recognised it as a finished painting, Oz told them. Angelica recalled how, in her first year, they had had joint potions classes with the third years once and she had almost passed away when she was partnered up with Leona, only to barely catch his head from nodding off into the potion.
“Looks like we still made it in time,” Angelica sighed in relief as they spotted Vil assigning tasks from a distance. Turning to Oz with a smile, she brushed a stray coil out of her face. “It was fun talking to you. Makes me wonder why we haven’t interacted more before, despite all of us being second years.”
“I don’t think that’s on either of us,” Selene interjected, her antennae and the green-pink moth wings on her back fluttering in the evening breeze. “It probably has something to do with the fact that Oz hangs out with Jamil a lot and that guy has always been giving me the widest berth possible.”
“Ah… Please don’t hold it against him,” Oz tried to defend the vice housewarden, knowing how he already reacted to bugs the size of his finger. While wondering what else he could say, he heard his name being called. “Well, I’ll see you around then. And thank you again for everything.”
“You’re very welcome. And good luck with those photos!” Angelica waved him goodbye as the two made their way over to Pomefiore’s housewarden.
Selene only elegantly tilted her head down as they parted but still left him with a friendly “À bientôt.”
In the meantime, Yuudai had made his way over to him, camera already hanging around his neck as he’d no doubt gone through most of the preparations already. Despite that, he still grinned at the sophomore.
“Oz, there you are. I was already worried you had forgotten that we’re helping Vil today.”
“How could anyone possibly forget that?” Scratching his head, he decided to gloss over most of what had happened. “I just got held up a little. Anyway, what can I help you with?”
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CARMILLA + MAYU
“Mayu! Just the person I was looking for~”
Looking over her shoulder for the sweet voice calling her name to find the hallway completely deserted, Mayu shook her head and turned back in the direction she was going. Only to nearly jump out of her skin as she came face to face with a pair of sharp, teal eyes.
“Sorry, did I startle you? That wasn’t my intention,” Carmilla cooed, not sounding all that sorry. The ghostly flames around her flickered mischievously as the fae fell into step next to her. “You were on your way somewhere, weren’t you? Why don’t we walk while we talk, hm? It’s been a while since we last got to chat, how are you doing? Nobody’s giving you any trouble, right?”
“Oh uhm, I’m doing fine and everyone’s very nice to me. Thank you for the concern,” Mayu answered, giving Carmilla a small smile. As they continued towards the library, the prefect fiddled with her cuff sleeves as she hesitated to say what was on her mind, before conceding. “Actually, I’m struggling with Ancient Curses at the moment. I just never seem to get them right.”
“Ancient curses, huh? I’m quite good at them, but so’s Jamil if I remember correctly.” Casting a studying glance at the girl next to her, Carmilla went on smoothly. “Haven’t you asked him for help before? I’m sure he won’t try to weasel himself out of tutoring if it’s you.”
“I did think about it,” Mayu admitted with a sigh, “but he’s been so busy lately, even more so than usual. And I don’t want to bother him.”
A gasp echoed around the hallway as Carmilla halted in her tracks at a crossroad, head whipping around to the younger girl next to her. It made Mayu stop, too, and look at her curiously. 
“Does that mean he hasn’t even been making time for you?” The fox’s usually playful expression had shifted, regarding her with eyes that had softened around the corner in sympathy. 
“No! It’s not–” Mayu immediately piped up, holding her hands up in defence. How did they end up talking about her and Jamil in the first place? “I know that he does try to make as much time for me as possible. He just has a lot on his plate at the moment.”
“Oh dear, that won’t do. Tell you what, I actually came here to ask if you want to take some clothes off my hands.” Procuring two bags stuffed full with fabrics out of thin air, the idol held them out for her to take. “They’re all products from brand deals that aren’t really my style or colour, but I thought they might look cute on you. Especially since you came here without anything you could call a wardrobe. If you end up not liking them, you can just give them back to me, I don’t want you thinking I’m just dumping my old clothes on you.”
“Oh, that’s too kind of you, Carmilla,” Mayu exclaimed, pleasantly surprised by the weighted bags now dangling off her arm. Running her fingers over the soft material lying on top, it reminded her of the comfy hoodies she regularly ‘borrowed’ from a certain someone. “I can’t wait to try them on.”
“Don’t mention it. Normally I’d just leave it at that but considering what you just told me, you should totally wear them the next time you go out with Jamil! In fact, why don’t you just ask him out the next time you see him?” And just like that, all worry was erased from Carmilla’s face and her sunshiney smile was back on as she curled a pink strand around her manicured finger. “Personally I don’t get what you see in the guy at all, but I do commend the charity work. Plus, as you said, he could reaaallllyy use a break~”
“Hm, I don’t know about asking him out all of a sudden,” Mayu contemplated, her dark eyes trailing over the bricks in the walls as she considered it. “But I would like to do something nice for him.”
“I totally support it! Oh, actually, that reminds me! There’s an upcoming festival in Foothill town, celebrating the new year. It’s always super cute and scenic.” As Carmilla spoke, the air around them filled with magic before displaying luminous scenes of people mingling in the streets of the quaint town, various foods and items in hand as the night sky was illuminated by fireworks. “You should really go and experience it for yourself. Can’t let an opportunity like this pass you by, right?”
“Right,” the prefect echoed as she watched the last wisps of the illusion fizzle out into nothingness. With newfound determination, she fixed her big eyes on the fae again. “Thank you so much, Carmilla. For everything.”
“Oh please, I hardly did anything. And about the clothes and the festival,” she leaned towards Mayu with a conspiratorial twinkle in her eyes, “let’s keep it a secret between the two of us, no need to credit me. Consider it my good deed of the day.”
As Mayu nodded, albeit a little confused by the request, Carmilla’s ears twitched at the sound of a familiar set of agitated footsteps. Feigning surprise as she looked down at the time of her phone, she gave the younger girl an apologetic smile.
“I guess that’s my cue to leave. It was fun catching up, we should really do it more often. For now, though, you’ll have to excuse me.” Slinking past Mayu with a wink, the soft fur of Carmilla’s tail brushed against her uniform as the pink fox disappeared the same way she had spontaneously showed up earlier. “Toodles~”
Hand half-raised to wave at the now empty hallway, Mayu took a second to process what had just happened, from beginning to end. The bags in her hand corroborated that she hadn’t just imagined it and when she looked up any events that would soon happen in Foothill Town, the festival was there too. With a shake of her head, Mayu wrote it off as just another one of NRC’s daily occurrences. Just then, someone else rounded the corner. 
“Prefect, what are you doing here?”
“Oh Jamil, hi. I was on my way to the library to look for books on ancient curses.”
“Ancient curses? I still have some notes I could lend you from my first year…”
Carmilla only caught the beginning of their conversation as it trailed off in the distance. Mayu was right when she said Jamil could do with a break. It had gotten to a point where seeing him in the morning started putting her on edge too and it made her fur stand on end. Especially when it affected the other students in the dorm as well. Palpable tension and all that. Needless to say, something had to be done about it if Carmilla wanted to go back to some relaxing peace and quiet.
No harm done by pulling a few strings if placating their vice housewarden also benefited the prefect, right?~
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heartorbit · 4 months ago
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work ​I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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corpsentry · 8 months ago
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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blackkatdraws2 · 9 months ago
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I have a lot of leftover drawings in my gallery. [Blank Scripts AU]
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[Content Warning: Images below contain Gore, Death, and Disturbing/Uncomfortable Imagery]
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I find it a bit cute knowing they start out as crazy and then slowly settle into something calmer and relatively healthier after learning to adapt to each other's lust-turned-love. [Stanley did it first but hey :3]
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shalom-iamcominghome · 5 months ago
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I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.
This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.
This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.
But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.
I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.
I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.
I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.
I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#abuse tw#i am not sharing this for the sake of pity and i also ask not to be told to divulge my abuse story. that isn't relevant#i have been needing to engage with this topic for a long time though and judaism has helped me a bit in navigating healing#but i decided to share this publicly in the hopes it will help other survivors specifically of familial/parental abuse#i know how it feels (in general). it's so lonely and you can really harbor (understandable) baggage about this particular commandment#i have a meeting with My Rabbi (sponsoring rabbi) and i might bring this up. we've only spoken once face-to-face (zoom)#so that might be really Intense to bring up to him but he is very kind and i trust him (which is why he is My Rabbi)#and he has already told me that he WANTS me to wrestle with g-d and His word *with* him#again i am posting this publicly so i can document my thoughts and keep them straight but also with the hope it MIGHT help others#if it even *casually* inspires another survivor i will feel so grateful (though it is THEIR achievement and not mine to claim)#i want us to survive. i want us to eat well. i want us to smile#i will say that this must be a very sudden whiplash in tone from my last post about sex. from sex to awful horrific abuse#my stream of consciousness is just Like This though in the sense that i have very sudden realizations and tonal whiplashes#so you're just getting a very frank look into how my brain is structured and what my brain thinks are important enough to think about#if i seem much more verbose it's because i needed to write this on my laptop which makes typing and more importantly yapping even *easier*
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stardustamaryllis78 · 23 days ago
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The fact that The Mystery of Aaravos was probably the fact that he's a grieving father.
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Before the reveal in season 6, he was still a mysterious figure we didn't know much about. We still didn't know his motivations, but that all changed when he finally told the story of him and Leola.
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Suddenly we understand everything. His motives, his goals, his backstory and his tragedy. We understand why he's doing what he's doing and the sad truth about his current circumstances.
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But it doesn't stop there, because the revelation of Leola's murder means we finally understand what started the cycle and what Aaravos is now fighting against in the name of his fallen daughter.
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But it continues into season 7 because him being a father is an extremely important part of his character. It's a core element.
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His father-daughter dynamic with Claudia becomes a very important connection for the both of them. Aaravos can finally let down his guard with someone for the first time in a very long time and Claudia can finally accept the death of her father, Viren. They heal each other.
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But his father motif goes deeper then that. The writers even go as far as to have him self internalize with the mother bird about how he feels he is a failed father because he was unable to save Leola. Remember when Leola's friend was calling out for help and Aaravos ran straight to her because he thought she was in danger? Well, when her friend says, "Will Leola be okay?" Aaravos says, "Yes. I know where to find her." He really believed he could save Leola, but he couldn't and it still eats him up, even to this day.
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Moving back onto Aaravos and Claudia, we also get this very powerful scene where Aaravos admits to Claudia that he thinks Viren will not be in the in between because he has come to care for Claudia as a daughter and is now giving her an out. But Claudia knew for a long time but has been willingly following Aaravos anyway, but here and now, she needs to know why he's doing this. So he opens up to her.
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This is the first time that Aaravos has probably opened up to someone in a very long time and someone has even asked him about his feelings and why he wants what he wants. It's a very important turning point. And Claudia accepts the pain he feels and understands his viewpoint. This is all for the unjust murder of a little girl who was killed for nothing other then real cruelty. And even though some of Aaravos' means are questionable, his ultimate goal is for a world of equality. Taking out an Order that views the old, unjust ways.
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Let's not forget, he also was the one that gave humans magic because he wanted to continue Leola's compassionate work of aiding their suffering.
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Last but definitely not least, Aaravos calling Claudia his daughter and making a portal to get her out of the battlefield because he cannot watch another daughter die. She is precious to him.
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Claudia's expression says a lot as well without her having to say anything. She cares for Aaravos as much as he cares for her.
So yeah, that's what I think anyway. I could be completely wrong but I truly do believe that was ultimately the true Mystery of Aaravos.
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obsessedoverwater · 19 days ago
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Becoming a Knuxadow fan truly feels like I'm eating moldy bread and sometimes I occasionally get a piece that's only stale. If I'm lucky maybe it'll be mildew instead.
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fearandhatred · 10 months ago
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i was thinking about this line from my fic:
But the fall had hurt, too. Because the wind had cut into his useless wings like knives, his skin and grace peeling away under the friction, and he had been looking right up at the multicoloured and unreachable expanse of sky just to see it fade from his eyes into dull greys.
and i came up with this. i hope the vision came through
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choccy-milky · 5 months ago
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A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.
Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.
If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.
OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭
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@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot
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brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like
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its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖
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@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖
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THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)
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akecsu · 14 days ago
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old wip i found today. from pre-s6 times. i actually quite like this
Losers... (i say as i sink into the ground) mapicc is very important to me actually. he is so improtnat to me. i don't write about him enough.
i really like the comparison between planet and mapicc (who are Very Different characters) as bacon's teammates.
especially in the line, "being declared something worth fighting for".
i don't think i completely understand mapicc's character, but i think this is very mapicc. his loyalty, his willingness to let go of his status of powerful scary good pvper to team with bacon waffles zero. the Guy who sucks at pvp. mapicc's selfless in that regard.
while... s5 planet is unable to fight (metaphorically) his desire to be powerful, not even for the sake of bacon. planet is powerful physically at the beginning of s5, but still weak at the end of the day. weak in the way that he cannot face his closest ally in s4 after killing him in cold blood. completely icing him out after everything, like it all means nothing. it's selfish. it's cruel. i'd imagine it would be painful as fuck.
so in s5, we see mapicc, reduced down to a husk of his physical strength seen in s4 by choosing to team with bacon. planet, more powerful than they've ever been. mapicc, who does the things planet does not, sacrificing his status for bacon. planet, who leaves bacon behind, so easily, because hearts mean more. the parallels!! the contrast!!
bacon and mapicc are people from two entirely different worlds (s4) and you'd think they would be incompatible. but they work. they work so well. this is deeply upsetting actually
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arihi · 5 days ago
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Charmed! 2025 (A Community Recap)
Charmed 2025 happened this past weekend, the 10th anniversary. My con recaps of years past desperately tried to fit in as much detail and information of each day, play-by-plays as I tagged everyone I could remember, talked about all the classes I'd been to, the people I'd met. Nowadays, I'm content to just do a general overview.
I spent a lot of time pensive and thinking about my time spent in the community and during cons. The 10th anniversary for Charmed meant that marked 9 years since I'd come out to my very first one. Longer in the community when I was still only online. How does the time fly by so quickly? It doesn't feel real. I still feel very new, and yet when I look around I'm surrounded by unfamiliar faces, cons growing too large and too quickly for me to recognize every face like I used to at the beginning. This sentiment is far from unique, and I had several conversations during the con with people who echoed similar feelings. At one point, I found myself in a group of people who all predated me in the con-going circuit - a rarity as more and more time goes on. We talked about the growth of cons, my first one. Though I'd spent a lot of the day feeling listless without realizing why, I found myself feeling comforted by the company, and realizing I had been lonely.
It's not at all a bad thing, and I'm genuinely happy that more and more people are finding community at these events - god knows I did. It's an adjustment is all, an ever-shifting growth of my own. It's plain to see from my blog activity over the years that I withdrew from talking as often. Not good, not bad, but also for good, and for bad. It's probably good that I don't reveal as much about myself at the drop of a hat. It's probably bad that I'm more avoidant now than I'd like to be. I'd remarked to a friend a while back that I didn't miss the old MMO that we met each other on and spent our days playing, but that I missed the period of time in my life that it defined. Similarly, I think I was going through a huge shift in life and perspective at the time I was first finding my feet at these events, these gatherings of people that taught me that it was worth it to seek my own happiness, that *I* was worth it. I know this inherently now, but it was much more of an impact back then for obvious reasons. I suppose it's like the honeymoon period of a relationship vs. settling into its stability. I suppose you could say I'm in a long-term relationship with myself! And it's some of the healthiest it's ever been. And now that I'm doing better and more stable these days, I should try to push myself to be out there more often.
Every time someone tells me that I've grown so much, I can't help but tear up and cry. (I'm doing it now as I type this.) And wouldn't you believe it, that happened to me like FOUR TIMES during Charmed!! Come on y'all!! What the hell. There's nothing that solves feeling stagnated in life like hearing that from someone else. I resolved myself at the beginning of this post not to feel like I had to document every interaction and tag every person, but it's difficult to fight the urge to yell it from the rooftops, how each interaction genuinely touched me, how they were the highlights of my con. How I miss them again, and how I can't wait to see them again. It couldn't come soon enough. Thank you to those who have watched my journey and always encouraged me. (I feel like I say this often, but, please know that I mean it every time. Except this time like triple it. That's how much it means to me.)
Charmed changed my life. I will say it to my dying breath and I will always be forever grateful for it. I learned people could be happy. I learned I could be happy. The connections I made at the first Charmed and subsequent years have changed my life beyond what a 2015 version of me could ever imagine. Tangibly, too -- beyond just a shift in perspective and mentality and wanting better for myself, I wouldn't have been able to move out without the chain of events that started at this first con. So- thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
I challenge myself not to document every interaction because in the past, that was how I had to live. Every post was proof I had experienced hardship (and lived). Every con meant a new lease on life and I had to memorize every single one and struggle to do hours long voice recordings about each day of the event to remember as much as I could because, that was all I could bring back. And I don't need to anymore - not because I don't want to remember, but because I'm in a better place now. These aren't the desperate emergency infusions of care I didn't know I could have; now, they are cherished moments with friends old and new, a drop in the bucket of happy memories. And part of life is to forget and talk about old stories and remember them again with good company.
Until the next one, and the one after that, and the many more after that.
-- Ari
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hexy-lynesdein · 1 month ago
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The Traveler & her Path Behind
“Wounds suffered, lessons learned.”
I think the most prominent part about episode 4 other than it being Alice's trial— wherein she was able to ended her generational curse for once and for all; changing something that she thinks “wasn't real”, is that you get to see how it affecting her.
How Alice realizes that she was angry at her mom who was only trying to save her. Lorna did everything in her power to protect Alice in any way she could. So that even if she was no longer present on Alice's life— her protection through the song, in which she pours all of her love for her daughter into, would persist. Thanks to the people who sang that song with as much passion as how Lorna is writing it for Alice.
And I love how she learned all of this from a journey with a broken coven, each filled with covenless witches who had their own issues. But even though they are hardly a “true” coven— they were there for Alice. They sat there with her on that campfire, talking about each scars that they had, so that she wouldn't feel so bad about hers. And for once, she felt that hole in her heart was slowly filled with warmth. That similar type of warmth that she's been missing for ages.
Alice has always been angry all her life. It's easier for her to get angry and blame something instead of grieving it. Because being angry is relatively easier than grieving because you feel like you are in control of your life, you get this power to push through from that fire burning in you. But unlike anger, grief is far from that. It's that feeling of hollow and emptiness— that you acknowledge something was no longer yours. It's gone and you have to accept that. You will eventually move on and there might be something else that will replace it. You will learn to live side by side with this pit that sits with you and it will left you in a vulnerable state, and that's not alright. It's hard to said it'll be alright when it clearly didn't. But eventually, you'd move on. People always do. That's just how life is always been.
And for once, when the cause of Alice's angers was no longer there— and that she was finally free from it after a long time of suffering, she felt nothing but sadness.
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This is a simple phrase if it were to be said by anyone. However, it held much bigger weight when it was Lilia who said that.
Lilia being the oldest witch from the coven. Lilia who's been alive for 400+ years. Lilia who made it this far in life, seeing all the horrors, and the tragedies that humanity experienced— the malice that lurked in their hearts. She's seen it all. She saw their path and “destination”; but mostly their destination because of her gift. That's almost all the thing she ever saw throughout her life up until now. Not to mention the flow of time that seems to be never standing with her.
It makes her angry. Because she saw it all. Lilia has seen their death. The causes and what's about to happen. But there is nothing she could do about it. She warns them. She tells them. And it didn't change anything. There's nothing she could do about the outcome. Because her task as a seer isn't supposed to change. She's there to observe — to see. And that alone upsets her. She turned away from her gift. Unwilling to use something that is a part of herself. For years. Decades. Probably centuries. Because why would she be? Death is all she'd seen. Why would she want to subject herself into something that would hurt her? Something that would only make her sad? And that's why, in the end, she resorted into being a con artist. Masking herself behind something that was not Lilia Calderu the chased-out-of-every-village-for-accurately-predicting-tragedies; running away from her true self.
Lilia already lost count on how many days and nights that she yearns for a change. To be able to do something for once. Flashes upon flashes would appear on the peripheral of her vision. About her coven. Her family. Her sister in the craft. And often times she wondered if a miracle would happened again in her life.
And it finally did.
When Agatha Harkness recruited Lilia to joined her coven, she almost wanted to spat. No one with a sane mind would willingly joined her coven. But fate always has its own ways with Lilia as her future self went back into that fateful day, where she write down the name of her new coven. Assigning herself to embark into a treacherous journey with a group of people that she, somehow, has quite a lot in common.
From there, she learns again what it feels to have a coven and be in a coven. Each trials they faced with death and their worst nightmare following in their step. But at least they are together this time. Lilia is not alone and maybe she could actually count on these people. Perhaps the walk down on this road with the infamous Agatha Harkness is going to change her. Maybe she still couldn't prevent deaths but at least she could piece up something that she has been missing. A part of herself that she was trying so hard to ignore— a part of herself that yearns for some form of connections through sisterhood.
And she finally got it again. She saw Jennifer who's capable of saving a life while being bound. Changing the outcome of Teen's life. She saw Alice fighting, oh ever so bravely, and full of fire. Ending her family's generational curse for once and for all — changing something that she thought she couldn't. She's seen all the struggles and how it impacts them.
And there they sat in that campfire, after the fire-trial. Sharing their own scars as an attempt to make Alice felt better about herself. Lilia saw the sadness that lingered on the once fierce and full of fire woman. She's seen it and she acknowledge it, she knows that feeling all too well. Lilia feels like she saw a piece of herself on her new coven members yet again, and she felt the urge to give Alice one last words of comfort, “Sad is better than angry”. And maybe that words is not enough to fully filled the hole in Alice's heart on its own, but as long as it means that Lilia could have a chance to do something for her sisters in the craft instead of running away again or being indifferent like how she always do— then that's fine. It's okay. She will take those chances.
And Alice? Alice is grateful to hear that from Lilia— who lives longer than her, who suffers worse things than her, and who knows so much more than her. Because to be loved, is to be seen and heard. And now Alice is surrounded with love.
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butterfly-ribbon · 2 months ago
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been thinking of ppl saying that mizuena should've been in a yuri or josei manga that isn't popular which is a sentiment i understand bc yes a hypothetical mizuki akiyama that exists in a yuri or josei manga would probably have her transness made explicit i guess (absolutely not guaranteed tho imo considering the amount of transfem manga i've read that quickly veer into third sexing u_u) but even if i accept this premise at face value i'm not fully onboard with it bc i feel like her character exists best in something like prsk bc she exists as a response to trans girls being into things like love live, revue starlight, bandori, etc. it's in her metanarrative…
not saying gacha game writing is always good … a lot of ppl often say it's frustrating how much it expects you to fill in the gaps (bc that's part of audience engagement) and ena5 was arguably gachapilled abt it but i think it makes sense. gacha thrives on implied queerness bc even when the writers are passionate about what they're writing abt they can't risk alienating executives and wider audiences bc writing queerness in something 'mainstream' is often complicated? so it's not always the writers' choice? i think mizuki is pretty Explicitly transfem though. the only "issue" with her writing to me is that they don't let her say this, which i also only consider a problem /at all/ bc when she's outed it's pretty explicit? gacha often has very character driven writing … the queerness is often also an Audience Draw. i wish they would at minimum call mizuki a girl. textually. i want ena to call her a cute girl … though considering how many ppl go "ano ko", she's getting called a cute girl all the time lol.
with that being said, i think the picnic event is one of my main examples of things that make me go,,, mizuki's character works best in the context of something like prsk as a response to things like bandori bc it's about a tgirl vs cgirl idols. that mixed events inherently highlight mizuki's circumstances as "othered" by society around her and the inherent complications of her own life vs others. ppl compare mafuyu and toya sometimes also but it's so bare bones by comparison bc mafuyu is literally in a dissociative cPTSD fugue at all times. it's about so much more than being forced into a life goal she doesn't want. everything about how her mother has raised her has warped her as a person. made her unable to see healthy or more objective realities. mizuki and mafuyu both have wanted desperately to die and disappear. mizuki even now … struggles so much with that and being around "normal" ppl is hard for her bc of it bc no matter how she tries, she can't be a normal girl. an average girl. so she has to be abnormal or exceptional. no in between. how she exists in contrast to bandori is so genuine in that engagement with gender and i specify bandori bc it's colopales other game.
going back to the picnic event i love the moment when they're eating the food airi prepared and talking about how airi and shizuku are "idols who are capable of bringing others hope", but then mizuki quickly goes from admiration to somberness, wishing she could be the same as them ... and even when the others bring up the music she makes with her circle it doesn't do much to cheer her up? it reads so much to me as a trans girl struggling with an inherent sense of inferiority amidst cis girls who have never had their own girlhood questioned in the way she has and can thus take so much for granted! ena might be really ruthless and mean in a way that is atypical of femininity and airi may have struggled with not being traditionally feminine and was bullied for failing to act out "proper" girlhood, but she still has a very different experience from mizuki and neither can compare to the constant transmisogyny and degendering that mizuki constantly has to go through every day and having her identity denied so vehemently on a systemic level.
it's so pointed to me bc mizuki is an idol fan and has that genre awareness ... the way trans girls often connect with media like mahou shouio and idols but despite their love for it, still feel an inherent sense of alienation due to being an Other ... bc there's a separation between "liking these girls and these things" abstractly versus actually meeting them, and i think it's interesting that there's literally no way in the context of this game that any of these girls could be idols and trans, specifically bc mizuki is a trans girl who can't be one and this game predicates a major portion of its story around mizuki As A Trans Girl! if mizuki tried to be an idol, she'd be outed and harassed! that's a fear she already has to live with when she's making music with niigo even though it's safer due to its anonymity. transness and idols don't have to be disconnected of course, but her being a trans girl who's a fan of this stuff who's disallowed the opportunity to directly take part in them is So fucking important. her engagement with all of this.
this is an event about ena's relationships with other women but also how mizuki exists in the borderlines of girlhood ... how no one else is so prepared as she is for things going wrong and how much she has had to take on undue responsibility in the world at large just to "exist"... she's protected at home but everywhere otherwise, she always has to take responsibility for how others see her, how others project onto her, how others expect her to act, and the event ends with mizuki still declining ena's offer to join the group call with airi and shizuku bc it didn't resolve anything ... bc simply repressing her own insecurities and fears in the moment to rescue ena and airi bc it's more important to act didn't help in the grand scheme of things when this is something mizuki is always expected to do! ena did it out of kindness, but it's terrifying to be invited to a group trip with her childhood friend who is actually a cool and beautiful idol, and then for another beautiful idol to be there. and both of them are so pleasant and sweet and nice. how is mizuki supposed to interact around ppl like that, after all?
the mizuena in the picnic event is so fucking vital bc of ena trying to give mizuki comfort but making her more and more discomforted, which is good buildup to my footsteps, your destination. it's about how mizuki still exists on the fringes of girlhood even when someone is actively making effort to make her feel "included" and the invisible yet uncrossable barrier that exists between her as a trans girl who loves things like idols and idols themselves (who are predominantly cis girls). airi and shizuku are very sweet! but it's… kind of agonizing, bc airi was already ena's "friend" and mizuki feels like she has no place in the lives of others and wouldn't deserve to be ena's friend if ena found out about her transness, which is why she clings to the plausible deniability around her gender status. airi is someone who can bond with ena and be close to her much more easily bc of their shared experience with misogyny, but this is something mizuki has to struggle for much more even though the misogyny she struggles with is even more Amplified due to how the [trans]misogyny she experiences is often denied and erased even among other girls...
#again cis girls can be idols and inspire others through their art without having to hide who they are...#of course we know that misogyny is rampant in the entertainment industry and celebraties are abused in different ways#but again! this experience is something mizuki is utterly denied and even if she were to ever step a foot into it /somehow/#whatever girls like airi and shizuku are subjected to she'd have hundred times worse bc of her transness#also the fact that she can 'enjoy' mmj bc of their disconnect from official agencies#but also having to be in a position of... “voyeurism”#i also think a lot about mizuki's favorite being minori bc she's the underdog?#someone who hasn't even been an idol through the 'official' mean but is trying to catch up by going indie from the start#but even that is something mizuki can't imagine for herself doing bc she wouldn't be able to escape public scrutiny in this case either?#there are so many impies to read into how mizuki interacts with ena's idol friends#and i just really appreciate how it always engages with the complexity of how mizuki exists alongside womanhood#and how even when ppl don't “know” she's always having to be on edge#also sorry if some of this is incomprehensible most of this is just me rambling#but i think there's so much to be said about how bandori was made for female fans of love live#and how prsk is made for female fans of bandori that i kinda touch on here? blehhh#also what initially triggered this train of thought is a silly statement that i don't think should be taken seriously#but am using it as an excuse to yap ^_^#project sekai#gamo.txt
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ivanttakethis · 8 months ago
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I love that weird two-headed alien thing in Anakt Garden so much and especially that pic of ivan resting in its jaw. I know the picture isn't intended to be cute but when I see it I just think of when mother crocodiles scoop up their babies in their mouths to carry them. Ivan was that things little buddy
I do too! It’s one of my favorite pieces of official art. They just look so cute!! I love that you called Ivan the wagyein’s little buddy 🥹
You’re right about mother crocodiles, I never thought of it that way before. Maybe the wagyein saw Ivan as its baby? Or rather, something that needed its protection?
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Another thing I love is how there are so many ways to interpret what the picture means.
Perhaps we’re meant to focus on the similarities between the two: red eyes, prominent teeth/tooth, obedient, monstrous (the wagyein literally and Ivan metaphorically).
Or it could be Ivan symbolically surrendering to the ugly parts of his inner self.
I like to think the picture shows an understanding between them.
They are both odd and somewhat solitary creatures, misunderstood by others. There are ugly parts in each of them that they can’t hide. But they find comfort in one another.
Ivan, resting in the wagyein’s mouth surrounded by all of its teeth, is extremely vulnerable; which we rarely if ever see him be at any other time in the series. The wagyein is also vulnerable to any attack beyond its teeth, throat, etc.
The fact that Ivan isn’t afraid of getting torn to shreds by the beast and the wagyein let Ivan so close suggests that there’s a level of mutual trust as well.
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I wonder how Ivan felt when he gained the wagyein’s trust.
We know he struggled to connect with his classmates. Did he feel further ostracized when he had an easier time connecting to some sort of alien creature than other humans?
Did he see too many of his own features in the wagyein (red eyes, sharp teeth, and so on) to even think he was as human as the other children?
Maybe that’s where the idea of Ivan as a monster came from.
I firmly believe the similarities between the two were intentional.
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short666bread · 2 months ago
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Haha. I posted fic. don’t read it.
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blondeaxolotl · 1 month ago
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One of the few headcanons I somewhat really attach onto is just my hc that Jamil is Bigender and goes by He/She. But in the way that you have to have such an INSANELY CLOSE BOND with Jamil in order to be allowed to refer to him as "she". You can't be an average joe and call him "she", cause if you do that, not only will your ass get beat, but your ass is getting beat so hard you wake up five months later cause you were put in a coma.
Surprisingly one of the few people that are allowed to call Jamil "she" is Kalim, but only when they're by themselves, since Kalim realized he can't go around referring to Jamil as her in public or that will influence others into doing it as well and Jamil wouldn't like that, so he's keeping it low.
Also yeah because I CAN, yes, Floyd is allowed to call Jamil she as well (<- flojami maniac), but unlike Kalim, Floyd doesn't hide it in public that much unless Jamil asks him to. Thankfully no one is influenced by him cause whenever someone else calls Jamil she , Floyd will full on go "oh you can't call Sea Snake that, you aren't allowed to, now I have to get rid of you. C'mere" and chase them around the school on all fours like some paralysis demon until someone physically stops him
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