#took the anyone who sees this and wants to share to heart and tagging myself ig

[short666bread]

Haha. I posted fic. don’t read it.

[xreaderanonaccount]

Capitano x Worried!Reader

Synopisis: Gruff, strong, and stone cold Capitano with a worried s/o. Reader is G/N

Tags: Fluff, Dottore being an ass,

Divider credits: cafekitsune

Capitano with a worried s/o who is always scolding him for always getting hurt, but no matter how much scolding he gets he can rely on you and only you to patch him back up. Cause he doesn’t want the medics to patch him up, they’re scared shitless of him. But you, you patch him up with the utmost care and love that anyone envy’s for. He’ll gladly sit down and listen to you scold him over how he shouldn’t take 3 squads of ruins guards on his own. If it only meant he can have your hands on him. Your soft hands on him. Oh how he’ll melt in them, you have this man wrapped around your finger. 

“You have to be careful next time!” Your worried voice echos the shared chamber in the Zapolyarny palace. Capitano could only chuckle as he leaned back playfully crushing you beneath his weight. You yelled in frustration as you tried your best to push Capitano away but no luck. This man was heavy.

“I promise to be careful next time.” He sighed as you got off of you settling back down on the edge of the bed. Letting you continue stitching the open wound on his shoulder. You huffed as you took the needle through his skin sewing the wound shut. 

“You better be, if not I’ll have to go to the doctor and ask him to revive you myself.” You pouted as you tied the stitch close.

“Don’t go to the doctor.” Capitano’s voice suddenly became stern, you knew better to mention the doctor. Capitano doesn’t trust him at all, not even with a pillow. He’ll somehow turn that pillow into a killing machine…

“I know, I won’t” You softly smiled as you planted a kiss on his now clean and stitched wound. 

Capitano is very protective over you, especially that one time Dottore decided to pull a cruel prank by giving you a fake report on how Capitano was severely injured and he might not make it. You had a full blown breakdown worried about your poor lover. When Capitano came back to the Zapolyarny Palace so many fatui scouts came running to him rushing him to their shared quarters. 

You straight up built a memorial for him, with your closest attendant by your side who is trying to comfort you. As soon as your attendant noticed Capitano he quickly rushed him to you pleading with him to comfort you. Capitano wrapped his big overcoat over you and gave you a tight hug. You were shocked only for a little bit before you threw yourself onto him crying your poor eyes out in Capitano’s arms.Capitano would gently ask you what happened and through your tears you would tell him what happened. He swears he’s going to kill Dottore the next time he sees him. 

The minute Capitano walked into the Zapolyarny Palace he was bombarded by his men. All talking over themselves, he has no idea what is happening but the minute one of them mentioned your name he sternly asked what happened. One of them finally explained that you said that he had died. Capitano could feel a blood vein pop as he hurriedly went to the shared chamber. When he entered he spotted your sniffling form over a picture of you and him when you visited Mondstadt that one time. Your closest attendant was comforting you as you continued your obituary. Capitano softly closed the door trying not to gain attention from you, but alas he was caught as your attendant looked up and spotted him awkwardly standing near the door. The attendant rushed him over to you who was still crying your poor heart out. Capitano stared down on your crying form, he wanted to rip his heart out and offer it to you as an apology. But he knew that you would be angry about that. Capitano heaved an internal sigh as he removed his heavy outer jacket, draping it over your shoulders. You jolted in surprise, you whipped around to see Capitano kneeling down to you. You shouted his name as you threw yourself on him crying your poor heart out in his arms. Thanking the Tsaritsa over and over again for bringing him home safe and sound. Capitano soothes you, rubbing small circles on your back. 

“What happened my love?” He asked, his voice bringing so much comfort to you.

“D-dottore, s-said that you were… were” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before bursting into tears. But you didn’t need to say anything more. He already knew what happened, Dottore pulling one of his cruel experiments on you. When he explicitly told Dottore not to do his little “experiments” on you. He’ll have to do a very very stern talking to Dottore. Not like he’ll listen anyway. 

Capitano is a strong and tough man but he has a very very soft spot for you. Imagine this, the strongest man in teyvat holding a small flower in his hand because you found one growing outside the palace. And since flowers are hard to grow in Snezhnaya you decided to give this precious flower to someone precious to you. 

“What do you have there Lord Capitano?” Childe asked, Capitano held a small daisy in his hand. His expression is hard to tell. 

“A flower.” 

[playstation-dreamcast]

This came to me in a dream. Anyway:

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Choose Your Character: Albert Wesker

Summary: For the sake of the mission, Albert Wesker is willing to do just about anything within reason to gain the trust of his S.T.A.R.S members. Apparently, building a snowman with his favorite new rookie is within reason.

Tags: Fluff, S.T.A.R.S Wesker, Nicotine use, Crack treated so serious none of my beta readers thought it was crack, Noncanon compliant RPD, Gender Neutral Reader.

Word count: 3k

It all started with that stupid fucking snowman.

A childish game he played to indulge his subordinate and gain their trust late one night after the S.T.A.R.S office had closed. He knew better even then, that it was an absolute waste of time. But, he complied, because it was you who asked.

Okay, maybe it didn't start with The Snowman. Maybe it started with the cigarette you shared. Sitting on the snow covered sidewalk, passing the smoke between the two of you while you talked. It came so easy to him, just talking with you. It was never that easy with anyone else.

He could still smell the smoke when he closed his eyes. He could see the snow caught in your lashes, and the fog of your breath. He could still feel how tight his chest got, and the roller coaster feeling of his stomach dropping when he finally had to admit to himself that he was sweet on you. And that he couldn’t keep lying to himself about it.

And you had no idea. You smiled like it was any other night. 

"Hey, can I bum a cigarette off you?" You asked him that at least twice a week since you started working as a member of S.T.A.R.S. It got to the point that he started to plan for it. Sadly, he was late to work this morning and didn't have time to buy another pack.

"Sure," he said, simply handing you the one he had just lit. You took it gratefully and smiled.

"Thanks Captain, you save me once again," you teased as you sat down next to him, taking a drag off the smoke. "You gonna light one?"

"That was my last one," he confessed with a shrug; chin resting in his hand, elbow resting on his knee. He thought about leaving, it wasn’t like he had anything left to do here. But he stayed anyway. He’d regret it later.

"What? Then why'd you give it to me dude?"  you scoffed.

He looked at you out of the corners of narrowed eyes. "Don't call me 'dude,'" he, half-heartedly at best, reprimanded as you rolled your eyes, "and because you asked for it. As your captain it's my job to take care of you." He didn't mean for it to come out like that, but he wasn't going to backtrack now and make it weird.

"Ah yes, taking care of me by giving me cancer. Truly, so selfless of you." You giggled as you handed him the smoke. 

He took it without thinking, easily taking a puff off it. "If I was worried about that, I'd have to fight a losing war with half the team- myself included." He took another drag to prove his point, "I like to think I pick my battles more wisely than that."

You hummed as you nodded, taking the cigarette back and putting it to your lips. You huddled closer to your captain, watching the snow fall and seeking his warmth in the cold. "It's pretty out." You smiled.

"It's nothing we don't see every winter." He took the smoke back.

You playfully pushed him, "Oh sorry Oscar didn't realize you fell out of your can."

"I have literally no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm calling you a grouch, Wesker." He nodded in acknowledgement of your clarification, and didn't try to argue. Just took a particularly long drag and handed the cigarette back to you. 

You took your turn with it and continued. "You gotta be able to still see the beauty in the small things, and the wonder in the world. Or else you just become old and bitter, and nobody wants that." He didn't have the heart to tell you he was already there. 

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, watching as new snow covered the old. It had become a ritual between the two of you – one Wesker had grown quite fond of. Every night when the two of you closed the S.T.A.R.S office together, you took the time to share a smoke break before going your separate ways for the night.

Wekser looked forward to them more than he cared to admit. At first it was just another thing he did to ensure all members of S.T.A.R.S trusted him. Fifteen minutes at the end of a shift was a small price to pay for the confidence of his team, and as long as they had confidence in him they wouldn’t doubt him. 

He wasn’t quite sure when he started looking forward to your quiet conversations, just like he wasn’t really sure when he started buying two packs of cigarettes to accommodate them. Or how he wasn’t sure when he started looking for little excuses throughout the day to touch you, to talk to you, to have your attention. At some point you had wormed your way into his mind and made your home there. He would have resented you for it if he could find it in him to do so.

He almost jumped when you finally broke the silence. "You know, when I was a kid, my dad would always let me stay home for the first snow of the season- didn't matter if school was canceled or not."

Wekser took the cigarette from your hand. "Sounds like irresponsible parenting to me, keeping a child from their education." He finally killed the smoke, flicking it off into the abyss.

"Maybe!" you admitted, "but, those days were important to me. We'd always go out and make a giant snowman – as big as we could – and try to keep him alive for the season." You smiled at your warm childhood memories. "It was fun."

"I've never built a snowman before." Wesker confessed. He wasn't sure why he did, it's not like you were asking. It just fell out of him. You had a way of pulling things out of him without even trying, something he should have been more wary about than he was- all things considered. 

You looked at him shocked. "What?! No way! Not even when you were a little kid?"

He looked back at you and shook his head, "The boys home where I grew up had no time for such frivolous things. As long as the power was on, we were in school. And on the rare occasions it was knocked out, well. We had other priorities." It felt so natural, being so open with you. Maybe it was because you were always so open with him. Or maybe you were one of the few people that treated him like a person with vulnerabilities. It used to scare him, on some deeper level. It still did in a lot of ways.

Lately though, he's just grateful to have someone other than Birkin to talk to. "Captain, that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. That's like, a super villain's backstory."

He finally turned his head to you. "What? Not being able to build a snowman?" He scoffed. You were blowing this out of proportion.

"Being a child and not being allowed to play," you clarified. Oh. He had never thought of it that way. It's not that you were wrong, he wasn’t allowed to play as a child – not really. It's just… he never really took the time to think about his childhood. He didn't like the feeling it gave him.

So he shrugged again, brushing off the memories before they had a chance to linger. "The past is the past. There's no use dwelling on it."

"Fuck that, come on!" You grabbed his hand and pulled him off the steps. He didn't even have time to fully comprehend just what was happening before you pulled him to the patch of grass the RPD called a lawn. "We're building a snowman.”

He huffed out a sorry excuse for a laugh and rolled his eyes. “You can’t be serious Rookie,” He said as he watched you gather the starting snowball.

“As serious as a heart attack, Captain,” you said, handing him the growing ball, “And I’m not a rookie anymore, I’ve been with S.T.A.R.S for six months now!”

He fought a small smile back at your insistence that you were – in fact – a highly trained soldier after a mere six months. “That’s still rookie status, dear.” The pet name came out so easily he hardly registered it, but you clearly did. He could tell by how you froze, your eyes widening ever so slightly. He needed a distraction. He held up the snowball, “And what do you want me to do with this?”

You relaxed as you remembered the task at hand. “Roll it around in the snow, I’m working on the base, so you work on the middle.” 

He made no move to hide his annoyance. “This is ridiculous, I want you to know this.”

“Then go home,” you shrugged. “No one’s keeping you here by force, no ones putting a gun to your head. If you don’t wanna help, you're free to go.” You acted so unbothered when you said it, focusing on growing the snowman's base. It hit a nerve in his heart he didn’t even know he had. You made it so blatantly clear that you didn’t need him there. Suddenly, the only thing he could think about was proving to you that you did need him there. 

He started wordlessly working on the middle of the snowman, trying to focus on the smile on your face and not on how ridiculous he surely looked. “That should be good,” you said, pointing to the ball he was working on. “Go ahead and put it on the base.” 

He took a second to look at the base you’d made, and the progress he made on the middle part, then got right back to adding snow. “No.”

“No, what do you mean no?” you scoffed, trying to sound offended but failing to hide your giggle.

He easily hid his smile. “It’s still too small. It would look awkward on the base, and even more so once we add the head. It needs more snow.”

“Weren’t you the one calling this all a waste of time?” you teased as you started the head.

Without missing a beat he looked at you, “It is. I stand by that. But if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it right.” Finally, he was satisfied with the ball of snow he’d been put in charge of, and carefully placed it on the base. 

You giggled softly, “That’s such a dad thing to say.”

“It’s just how things should be done.” He shrugged, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth putting the effort into doing it right.”

“So you admit this is worth doing?”

“What? I didn’t say that.”

“But ya kinda did,” you pointed out. “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. And you’re trying to build this snowman right, so therefore – it’s worth doing.”

Wesker took the time to think of his next words carefully. He couldn’t just say outright it was worth doing because it made you happy. Because these small moments of connection built a trust between you. One he would inevitably betray one day. 

There was that horrible tight feeling in his chest again. The one he only got when he thought about how he would have to hurt you in the future. He pressed forward, “Somethings, as frivolous as they are, can be worth doing for the greater impact they have.” You nodded sagely at his words, as if you understood perfectly. Which, was genuinely shocking because even he wasn’t entirely sure what the fuck he just said. 

Finally, you put the head on the snowman. “Well! What do you think?” You smiled, making passionate jazz hands at the snowy creation the two of you had made.

He cocked his head to the side. “Something’s missing.”

You nodded. “Yeah, we’re missing a face.”

“What do you normally use for a face?”

You shrugged, “Traditionally, kids used coal and a carrot for the face. Sticks for the arms, maybe a scarf, you get it. You’ve seen Frosty the Snowman.”

He hadn’t, but that was a battle for a different day. “Seems like a waste of a carrot. And we don’t have any coal.”

You nodded again. “Yeah, sadly. Guess our little guy will just have to remain faceless.”

No, that wasn’t good enough. Not for Wesker. If he was going to make anything, it was going to be perfect. He’d accept nothing less. He quickly looked around, searching for a suitable substitute for coal. He quickly spotted what the RPD once called a garden that was now mostly filled with snow covered rocks and made his way there. You picked up on his thought process and went to go pull sticks off of a nearby tree for the arms. 

“Hey, I found a pine cone!” You called to him as you returned.

“Excellent, we’ll use it for the nose.” He replied as you reconvened at the snowman. The two of you argued briefly about the facial expression – you insisting the snowman should be happy and him arguing it should be miserable because who wouldn’t be miserable stuck out in the snow? You countered with a snowman wouldn’t, because he’s literally made of snow and probably can’t feel cold. You won the argument. This time. 

You assembled the final touches together, then stepped back to look at your handiwork. He smiled smugly, placing his hand on your lower back to hold you closer. “Not bad for a rookie.” He said, looking at you.

You smiled back at him. “Not at all,” you said as you rested your head on his shoulder. It was the closest the two of you had ever been to each other at that point. And the closest Wesker had been to anyone in a long time. It should have felt wrong, the way it tended to when he made contact with others. Instead, it felt comfortable. Natural. Like you were always meant to be right there on his shoulder.

He looked down at you resting on him. At your snow bitten cheeks and soft, content smile. You weren’t scared, or even nervous. You weren't going out of your way to impress him, or try to demean him for an ego boost. You weren’t looking at him with unrealistic expectations he’d still manage to reach, only to remain unsatisfied with him. You were just there. Content, and smiling in his arms, happy to be with him.

You looked ethereal in the soft moonlight, the streetlights of the city encasing you in a halo. He was suddenly overtaken with the overwhelming desire to kiss you. To take you home and hold you forever. And met with the blood cooling realization that he was more than just attached to you. He was… infatuated with you. He refused to use the L word for this.

He couldn’t do that to himself. He moved away from you, a sudden movement that caught your attention. His heart sank looking at your wide questioning eyes. “Thank you, for the experience Soldier.”

You smirked, noting that he didn’t call you rookie. “Thank you for indulging me Captain.”

He nodded and patted your shoulder. “It’s late. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Bright and early,” you confirmed. The two of you lingered for a second longer, the cold silence loud with everything the two of you wanted to say. He slowly slid his hand off your shoulder, and the two of you went your separate ways.

He spiraled for a good two hours when he got home. He couldn’t stop thinking about you. How natural it was to talk to you, how nice you felt in his arms, how breathtaking you looked even covered in snow. He dreamt of you that night, and when he woke up he could still feel the warmth of your lips pressed against his. He had to take a cold shower to get his head together. 

He had never felt like this before. His entire life he was too focused on other things for crushes. On being the best student, on graduating early and getting his doctorate, on researching the virus, on surviving. He’d had lovers, sure. But he never felt anything for them, aside from sometimes lust. He never felt tight in his chest, he never dreamed of them, never in a hundred years would have entertained the thought of building a fucking snowman with them. 

What the hell did you do to him? 

He spent the next eight months obsessing over you. Meticulously observing you like he would any other specimen. He found out how you managed your workflow, the gun you preferred to use at target practice, who you got along with at the RPD and who you only tolerated, how you took your coffee in the morning. 

He noticed all the small details. He noticed the way you chewed on your lower lip when concentrating, what kind of jokes made you laugh the loudest, the way your eyes crinkled when you were genuinely smiling. He noticed that you didn’t brush his hand away when he rested it on you, unlike how you did when Brad did the same thing. How you also went out of your way to be around him, and that you were always the first to act when he gave an order. 

He knew he shouldn’t do this to himself. He knew that he should have taken a massive step back and kept your relationship strictly professional. No more late night smoke breaks, or easy conversations in the break room. If he really wanted to do himself a favor he should have found a reason to fire you, or at least have you removed from the S.T.A.R.S team. 

He never tried to do any of that, because for the first time in his life he was scared he wouldn’t be able to do something. And where did that get him?

Here. Staring at the sinking ship that was Umbrella, and knowing he needed to get off before he was dragged down with it. He needed to send the S.T.A.R.S team to the Spencer Mansion to get the combat data he needed so he could do just that. The issue was, that meant the team was probably going to die. A sacrifice he thought he was willing to make. And he was, before you happened. Now the thought of sending you into that made his jaw clench. As brilliant as he was, he couldn’t think of a way to keep you out of the situation. 

Send you home? That would never work, Bravo team was in danger. You would never just sit idly at home while your team was in trouble – an annoyingly admirable trait of yours. Order you to keep watch at the office? Nope, that wouldn’t work either. That would be the first place Umbrella went when they realized he had gone rogue. So where did that leave him? 

Sending you into the mansion. But, maybe you didn’t have to die. You were just as capable as any other member of the team- if not more. As long as he could keep you alive until it was time for the mansion to go up in smoke, he knew he could get you out of there- and come out looking like the hero in the process. 

He didn’t have time to come up with a definitive plan, this was going to have to do. As unorganized as it was, he was confident it would work. It had to work.

He didn’t know what he’d do if it didn’t.

[mars-writes-yandere]

Yandere Golden Boys

a/n: im finally making yandere oc’s after scrolling through the tag for HOURS. I have been wanting to do this for a while but after seeing all the amazing oc’s im making them myself

Yandere Golden Boys! who have known each other since they were kids. They’re no stranger to sharing so why would a partner be any different?

The persistent flirt, Luka,who always gets what he wants. When he sets his eyes on something and wants it, hes going to get it. His curly blonde hair and deep blue eyes add to the charm. He's known for sleeping around and using women like tissues.

The friendly jock, Mae , who never fails to put a smile on someone's face. Constantly smiling, the chestnut haired boy is always helping people out. Star student, perfect attendance, and great football player. Everyone loves him.

The prick of a student council president, Eden, is always making people’s day worse. He has a grudge against anyone that doesn’t doesn't follow the rules, including teachers. Due to his high standing he has the power to makes someone's life miserable and trust me he will

All three boys just seem to always be together which is how they met you. You were at the mall alone. It was a rare occurance to be out alone but you only needed a couple things. You too were busy putting your wallet back in your bag, You didn't notice you were going to walk right into a group of boys. Hitting your head on one of their backs you groan slightly and rub your head before looking up at who you bumped into. It was a talk man, probably 6’5. He smiled down at you in concern “Are you okay?” he asks. He can barely get the words out though as his heart hammers in his chest. You looked adorable looking up at him with your doe eyes and crinckled nose! A blonde boy peeked over the other boy's shoulder and smirked seeing you. You gave him a polite smile as you went to pick up your discarded bag. The blond beat you to it though, quickly picking up the bag before you. He handed it to you with a wink. A boy with combed black hair watched the scene in interest. You seemed polite and mae seemed to already have taken a liking to you.

The Three boys introduced themselves to you as Luka, Mae and Eden. After you told them your name they watched as Mae took out his phone and was already searching your name on instagram.

As College Sophomores the boys don't need to live in the dorms so they opt to share an apartment. The three boys spend all night stalking your socials, learning about your likes, dislikes, who you are close to and who they need to look out for. These three will find a way to worm into your life. You'll suddenly see them everywhere. Soon you exchange phone numbers and start to hang out casually. Casually will turn into every week and every week will turn into every day.

Mae is like a puppy when he's with you. He's kind to everyone, yes but he worships you. You're his everything and he will do everything to make sure you know it.

Luka is still flirty but he means what he says. When he calls you beautiful and holds your hand he means it. He teases you whenever you get flustered but he thinks its the most adorable thing ever

Eden is softer for you. He's not great at verbal affection like the other two so he tends to be more physical, Possessive hugs and hand holding, desperate and obsessive kisses ect. He loves to see you cry though. It doesn’t have to be out of pain, he doesn't necessarily like to see you in pain but he thinks your tear stricken cheeks and soft whimpers are adorable. God forbid anyone else makes you cry though. He is not afraid to get his hands dirty.

[srngrque]

im just a girl.

aurélien tchouaméni x fem!reader. Fluff. when you are just a girl and he is aurélien tchouaméni, things like this will happen.

It is your sixth week as Aurélien's PR assistant, and you sat down on your rolling chair turning yourself round and round in your small cabinet, thinking and reflecting on all those nights you worked your ass off for your resume, going to endless interviews, just trying to hold onto one strong point as your feet ached to run to your manager and throw your resignation letter.

Aurélien was almost insufferable, he was one step away from giving you a heart attack. Every time your phone pinged in high-pitch, your heart would beat faster on what kind of mess he had created for you to clean.

Not that he does much around but when he does, it is a war out there for you. His spectrum fascinates you, the range goes from simple thirst traps in his Instagram stories to disclosing his actual secret campaign he did with Calvin Klein.

Yet he kept yapping and opening his mouth about the campaign again after you cleaned up his mess in his Instagram live, you almost cried out blood as your manager invested their entire being on screaming at you when your manager could handle Aurélien.

You held onto the handle of the gym door, your lips tight with a smile. Mentally preparing for a brief talk about his unprofessionalism or a hideous murder that was about to take place; his or yours, time would tell. You swung the door open just for you to shut it, your whole back pressed against the door.

This guy is almost naked, with his shorts hanging onto his waist for dear life, and a towel around his neck to clean his dripping sweat. Now, you are annoyed with him yes, of course since it is your work; but you are just a girl. The image of his heavy breathing, his tight core, and his thick thighs were not to be blamed, and nor was it leaving your mind, it never leaves your mind.

Before you pulled yourself up, the door was yanked open for you to squeal as you almost tripped but a gentle hand held onto your waist catching you before you fell.

Your eyes wide open, falling straight to the man who had awoken your need to fuck a priest, or just, well anyone out there. The glistening swear still sliding down his forehead, the hot heat of his determination in the gym greeted you.

"Princess, I would never let you fall." Aurélien's voice filled with amusement. You pulled yourself away from his grip entering the gym without a word shared. You put your laptop and your name tag down on the desk neatly sitting on the spare chair in the gymroom.

"Thank you, but I would rather not call you a prince charming right now." You mumbled for him to hear as he grinned showing off his teeth. You shut your eyes with your head facing down, "You make me want to kill myself." You confessed, shaking your head continuously. He chuckled at your defeat.

Walking toward you, he pulled an extra chair that was next to you; turning around to straddle the chair, Aurélien leaned in closer to see your face. You glanced up to see him already staring at your lifeless face.

The silence was painful, it was not those playful silence where you would playfully glare at the man and ask him to clear up his shit, and he would playfully claim that you would do the job for him.

"It can not be that bad. What did I do?" He nervously chuckled this time, he shrugged his shoulder in confusion. Aurélien had not seen you this tired of his shit, or in a very long time. You sighed, reaching for your laptop as you searched for Twitter.

Whipping the laptop toward Aurélien, you cross your arms as you see his focused face which includes a soft pout formed with his thick lips in concentration and furrowed eyebrows coming together and it only took you a few seconds to think. To reach for his face, or to take the risk of leaning as forward as you possibly can.

Aurélien seems like a such a good k-

"Okay, so I fucked up." He nervously chuckled, again realizing he did fuck up pretty bad for you.

Back to business, business, business.

You snatched your laptop away from his grip to put on the table, turning your body away to find the anger in you, your mind only comprehending just how easily he could bend you over the table, or bend the table; you would not mind any show.

Back to business, business, business.

"This isn't the first time, Aurélien. I had to make you pull out that Andrew Garfield stunt he did for the last Spiderman movie just for you to fuck me over." You expressed your anger with your fingers forcefully pushing his chest. Aurélien sat in silence, hearing you complain and complain about his reputation with the brand; but your words inaudible for the man.

His eyes were very much consumed with the way your lips would touch at certain words, and how his fingers would feel against your tongue, your hot tongue rolling around his fingers like a lollipop.

"I do not even watch Spiderman." He whispered but you bored your eyes at him quickly catching his eyes on your lips. You glanced around the room, not uncomfortable but you just didn't know how much patience you had before you launched yourself at him fully.

"I was not even talking about that, Aurélien. The whole Calvin Klein campaign is a secret, you were not supposed to mention it again in your fucking Instagram." You stood up from the chair, throwing your hand up in frustration, not wanting to look at him for another minute; to keep the job.

The whole situation is absurd, you were fully clothed while he was almost naked. The situation would most likely look crazy for an outsider but this is the form of conversation you have with Aurélien at all times.

You with your full attire while Aurélien with his gym shorts.

"You know, I do not know what game we play with each other." He said, taking you back as you gasped at the closeness with his hot chest hitting your back. Turning around, your eyes leaned up to see Aurélien had his eyes fixated on you.

It was not those mischievous eyes he would give this time. It was hazy nor did he lean down to look at you, he kept his posture composed for you to force yourself to look up.

"This is the game where I tell you about your fuck ups." You mumbled, trying to push Aurélien away but it only invited him to cup your wrist. "Let go, Aurélien." You said firmly, your eyes nervously glancing at the door of the gym. It is a free space anyone would walk in at any given time.

He shook his head. You took a few steps back as it hit the gym mirror. It was a complete defeat from your side, all that self-control aching to be released.

"Do you remember what I asked you last time as well?" He softly asked, his hot breath hitting the shell of your ears, you flinched away.

Why do you act like you don't want me the way I want you?

You cleared your throat, trying to loosen away from his tight grip. "Because it is that simple, I do not want you." You smiled tightly.

Aurélien chuckled, his boyish grin on his face; he shook his head, denying your words. "Stop lying to me. I might be shit at reading the room about anything but you," He said with his same shit-eating grin, "You are too easy to read."

Sighing, you gave up; sliding down on the gym floor with your legs pressed against your chest and your wrist still strongly gripped by Aurélien. He arched down to match your eye level and with his hand, he separated your thighs to create a room for himself.

"What do you want me to do?" You asked, tilting your head to the side; asking Aurélien with your body wanting his heat against yours.

He cupped your cheeks, and with no words said, he leaned in. You slowly closed your eyes to finally feel him but his lips never reached yours, only to hear the same annoying chuckle that had been getting on your nerves today.

You glared at him, making a joke out of you. You tried to remove his hand away from your face. Aurélien cupped your cheeks harder, "Baby, I want you to want me like how badly I want you." He said, his hand lowering down to your shirt to feel your naked skin, his fingers drawing random patterns against your skin as he reached your bra strap unhooking the button.

"Can you do that for me?" He asked.

You nodded your head. Yes, yes you could.

[thefallennightmare]

Miracle-four

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Author Note: I wanted this to be a slow burn/enemies to lovers but god damn it's so hard to write because I already want Reader and Noah to get together.

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13 @thebadchic @notmaddihealy @jay02bo @beaker1636 @jakekiszkasguitarpick @punk-pr1ncessxoxo

With a loud sigh, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and walked towards to front end of the bus. On this bus, I shared it with Davis, Matt, and Bryan, and sometimes one guy from the band would pop in every once in a while: except Noah. At least if he did, it was when I was asleep or not around. Especially lately, Noah and I avoided each other. After the disaster of a dinner a couple nights ago, I refused to speak to him even about work. I went to everyone else instead of him if I had a question, which I didn't often since I knew what I was doing.

I didn't want to think about Noah right now. Not when my mind should only think about my mom.

Lana told me that even though my mom was having a lot of good days, she still refused to speak to me. I'd be lying if I said my heart didn't break but I couldn't cry about it. I needed to focus for work and not give anyone a reason to figure out something was wrong.

We were close to the next city, less than an hour away, and we would hang out in Dallas for two days before heading out once more. Matt mentioned he had a surprise for everyone so called for a bus meeting which is where I found everyone with two surprise visitors.

Folio and Noah.

Giving a small smile to the former, I sat next to him at the table and he returned a smile. Noah was sitting on the long couch of the bus, chatting quietly with Bryan. They must have joined when we stopped last and I was asleep.

Noah's eyes burned hot at the side of my face but I ignored him as I bumped shoulders with Folio. We had been texting a bit the last couple days and have gotten pretty close; no romantic feelings involved. Folio had been a great friend and someone to vent too. I never told him about my mom, though. That was something I would take to the grave.

"Where's Jolly and Nick?" I asked.

"They stayed on our bus. They wanted the peace to sleep."

I nodded before pointing to Matt, who was standing at the front of the bus rubbing his hands together. "Any idea what this is about?"

"No fucking idea," Folio chuckled.

With my phone buzzing in my hand, I dared a peak at the notification to see another subscriber to my Only Fan's page. I didn't have many followers but enough to keep some money coming in. I could pay Lana her first paycheck and the extra income coming in was nice. I wasn't rolling in money but wasn't struggling on how to pay for things. With being constantly surrounded by the guys, I wasn't able to post much, just one other video and a few provocative pictures. I never showed my face, only from the neck down and never naked. I always had some short of clothes or underwear or an arm covering the private areas. Maybe that was the reason I had little subscribers, but it was the rules I set for myself when I started this.

"So, I bet you're all wondering why I called this meeting," Matt spoke while clapping his hands.

Folio muttered a joke to me under his breath which earned a loud laugh from me. Everyone looked our way, and I leaned back into the booth cheeks on fire.

"What's so funny?" Matt quirked a brow.

Noah's eyes pinned me to my spot as I glanced over to him. Something flashed behind those brown iris' while his jaw ticked.

"Nothing, Mr. Dierkes. Please continue with class," Folio joked with a smirk.

I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't laugh again.

"As I was saying," Matt began ignoring Folio. "It's been a week on tour and we've all been working tirelessly to make sure every show fucking rules. But there has been some tension within the group."

"I don't think you feel the same tension as some of us do," Noah said with his eyes on me.

Our eyes matched with intensity, and I let out a deep breath wondering what he meant by that.

Tension? Of course, there was tension between us but that's because we disliked each other.

Folio noticed I was ready to speak, so he pinched the bare skin of my shoulder which caused me to yelp out in slight pain.

"What the fuck was that for?" I seethed.

He nodded towards Matt to continue on, who looked displeased at being interrupted by our antics yet again.

In our days of texting, I told Folio about how it irritates me how Noah acts around me when we're alone versus when others are around. I also may have told him about my tiny feelings for Noah, which Folio told me it was pretty clear how I felt. While I thought no one noticed, Folio saw the stolen glances, the way my body reacted differently when Noah was around, or the way the corner of my lips curled up when Noah spoke or sang.

Always so perceptive.

I tried to get out of him why Noah was so upset about that night in Chicago but Folio refused. He said that was Noah's secret to share.

I tasted blood with how hard I bit my tongue and reluctantly gave Matt my attention.

"Since we'll be in Dallas for a few days, I rented an Airbnb for us to stay at as a way for us to bond or whatever the fuck. There's a pool and grill we can have a pool day on our off day," Matt said with a smile.

My heart sunk deep into the pits of my stomach. At least when we stayed in hotels, I had my room, sometimes doors down from Noah. But now, all of us staying in a house means it would be harder to avoid him.

"Is that necessary?" I questioned.

"Yes," Matt deadpanned. "If you want a hotel, book it on your personal card."

Low blow.

"Whatever," I grumbled while crossing my arms.

He simply gave me a large smirk before speaking again. "The only issue is that there aren't enough beds so some people will have to bunk together or sleep on the couch."

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered while running a hand down my face.

I didn't care the house situation, I would sleep on the floor if I had too if that meant I wouldn't share a bed with anyone, especially Noah. I liked these guys but not that much.

Folio patted my shoulder and whispered low in my ear.

"Maybe you and Noah should bunk together. Team bonding or whatever."

"Fuck off, Folio," I playfully smacked his chest before rising to my feet, his arm falling away from me. Noah was still staring at me and I knew with how close Folio and I had been, he wasn't happy. His jaw clenched so tight, and his hands balled into fists in his lap.

I didn't bother giving him another glance as I turned my back to him to retreat into my bunk to mentally prepare for this team bonding bullshit Matt set up.

Okay, I had to admit. This house was fucking sick.

There were large floor to ceiling windows that looked out onto a beautiful backyard and if you looked past that, you could see the city down below the hill the house was on. It was a large open floor plan with a living room, kitchen, and bar with a pool table off of the dinning room. Upstairs was an open loft area with a large sectional couch and four bedrooms.

While I was in my bunk on the bus, the room situation had been decided by drawing matching straws. No one bothered to ask for me to draw because somehow by the Gods below, Noah was the last to pick and was only left with the color red.

Jolly and Nick.

Bryan and Davis.

Matt and Folio.

Noah and I.

When Folio told me the sleeping arrangements, I wanted to cry in anger. It seemed as if no matter how hard I tried to avoid Noah, something yanked us back together. Folio offered to swap with me but I declined, already deciding that I would sleep on whatever couch was provided.

A warm presence encased around me, making the hairs on my arm prick, and I peered up to my left seeing Noah standing next to me in the house's entryway.

"You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the couch," he said.

I blinked, somewhat surprised that he offered that. I fully expected him to lock me out of the room.

"I'm smaller than you. It might be better for you to sleep on the bed," I offered.

Was I being nice?

My body shivered at the thought.

Noah shook his head then hoisted his back over his shoulder. "Take the room, angel. You're the only girl here. You should have some privacy."

Was he being nice now in front of the others? They all stood less than a few feet from us.

Did I wake up in the twilight zone?

When I went to protest yet again, he shot me a look that caused my lips to pull tight together. We stood in silence for a few moments and I let out a soft breath.

"Thank you."

Noah made a noise in his throat and his eyes glittered as they darted between mine. His large hand brushed away hair from my face and I leaned into his touch, all the pent up anger between us melting away.

The question weighed heavy on my tongue as I pursed my lips a few times.

"Why do you call me angel?" I finally croaked out.

His hand was now wrapped around the back of my neck, the pads of his finger pressing deep into the skin, and shrugged.

"It feels right."

I raised a brow. "What if I don't like it?"

"Too bad. It stays, angel," he dragged out the last word with a large grin.

Irritation flared inside of me but before I could say anything, the warmth around my neck was gone as Noah walked away. I blinked after him, watching as he tossed his bag onto the couch before stepping outside into the large backyard.

"Soundcheck is in one hour!" Matt called out, his voice carrying through the open space.

With that, I forced my feet to take me upstairs to the bedrooms so I could get ready. The only room left was the closet one to the stairs and directly across the long sectional couch. If Noah would sleep here tonight, he'd be able to look right into my room and see me laying in bed. The thought made something ignite in my stomach but I ignored it.

This was the only room with a bathroom attached which made me wonder if the guys purposely gave me this room. As I placed my things throughout the room since we were going to be here for a few days, my phone rang loudly from its spot on the bed as I was in the bathroom and rushed to answer it in time.

"Hello?" I asked breathless

"Hi dear. How're things?"

I smiled into the phone at Lana. "Good. I'm going to be heading to the venue soon to set up. Everything alright?"

"Well," Lana started.

My ass fell into the bed with a groan and prepared myself for what was about to come.

"What happened?"

"Your neighbors found your mother in their bathroom this morning; in their shower."

I pinched my eyes shut with a groan. "Please tell me it was the Johnson's. They know what's going on with her so they would understand. Well, as much as I hoped they would."

"Yes, thankfully. I was able to bring her back home without incidents."

"Good," I let out a long breath. "How is she now?"

"She's fine, in her room resting but-."

"I don't like the sound of that but," I noted.

"Y/N, I know you love your mother and want the upmost best care possible for her."

I nodded. "But."

"But I think your mother would be better in a home where someone can watch and monitor her twenty-four hours of the day. I can only do so much especially when she takes off."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, not wanting to cry. This conversation was one I knew I was bound to have at some point. My mothers Alzheimers was getting progressively worse and soon, I feared there might be a time where I couldn't handle it.

But now wasn't that time.

"I'll think about it," I said after a few beats.

It wasn't a lie, per se. I would think about it, way down the road.

"I'll see if she wants to talk," Lana said.

"No, it's alright. I don't want to bother her."

I couldn't stop the sob that escaped my lips.

"Alright dear. I'll call you tomorrow."

After we said our goodbyes, I let my phone clatter to the floor at my feet then plopped down onto the bed. Tears pricked at my eyes and I dug my palms into them, hoping it would force the tears away. My mom was the most important person in my life. We were all each other had after my father died, so being so far away from her when she needed me the most made the guilt rip me apart.

Was this job worth it? Was the money worth it?

These questions kept replaying in my mine over and over as I laid on the bed staring up at the ceiling. A few tears escaped drying to my warm cheeks. The money was worth it; it had to be. I still wasn't making a lot of money from Only Fans so whatever I made doing this, I needed.

There was a soft knock on my open door and my breath hitched when I noticed Noah leaning against it. How long had he'd been there? Did he hear my conversation with Lana?

I sat up in bed while covertly drying my eyes.

"The manager at the venue said the set up for merch has to be in the hallway downstairs. Is that alright?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I've been put in weirder places so it's fine."

Noah gave a curt nod while crossing his arms over his chest. I suddenly felt small under his eyes and rose to my feet hoping that watching me gather my things to get ready it would be a silent dismissal. But no, he continued to watch every single movement I made.

"Is there anything else you need, Noah?" I asked with a sigh, finally looking at him.

His black shirt clung to the thick muscles of his arms and chest. His brown hair had fallen into his face in a tousled mess from being on the tour bus the majority of the day.

Noah was breathtaking in every single way, and my core practically begged for some kind of friction.

Not now, traitor.

"Have I mentioned how much I love hearing my name coming from your pretty little mouth?," he mused while licking his own.

My legs squeezed together, my body screaming with that small release against my core, but I refused to let him know how bad he was affecting me.

"Is that it?" I asked.

Noah said nothing as he walked over to my open suitcase and riffled through it, obviously looking for something.

"What are you doing?"

My heart raced as I watched him, knowing that if he picked up that red t-shirt, he would find the variety of sex toys I use for my videos. What he found, though, was something I hadn't expected him to. An old shirt of his that I borrowed from the last tour. It was the second night and Bad Omens played a sold-out show. The crowd was alive the entire night and every one of us was buzzing with excitement. Once we returned to the hotel that night, we all jumped into the outdoor pool even though it was pretty chilly that night. Noah offered his dry shirt to me so I could warm up which at the time I took gratefully.

That night was before the night in Chicago. Before Noah's attitude toward me changed.

It got buried along with my other things after the last tour and forgotten about.

Bullshit.

I may have worn it to bed some nights; so much so that his scent had faded while ago.

Noah tossed the shirt over to me and I caught it just before it hit me in my face. My lips stuttered trying to come up with an excuse because I still had it.

"Wear that."

"Excuse me? I asked irritation lacing my words. "Since when do I take orders from you on what I wear?"

He closed the distance between us in two large steps, his fingers tilting my chin up towards his face. Our lips were so close, I could almost taste the beer he must have had before coming into my room. And the hint of bourbon and spice from his cologne filled my senses.

So warm and familiar.

"There's a reason you kept it, angel. Might as well wear it."

Noah's voice was dark and heavy, laced with something I could pinpoint. His eyes were just as dark as his words and I swallowed hard. My body flared with desire, heat pooling between my legs, and I let out a breathless whine eventually nodding.

"Good girl," he breathed across my lips.

His eyes darted from mine down to my lips where it stayed for a long moment before he dropped his hand from my face then left me standing in the room with a heavy wetness and an ache between my legs.

[dsireland86]

Take Me First Chapter 2 (Never Know)

Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @nyxthedestroyerofworlds-deactiv @missduffsblog @bngurngheart  @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @fadingangelwisp  @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

 “Show me you're better off without me/ Choking on every word  you said, we'll see, we'll see /Don't breathe another word about/me I'll leave and you can finally rest in peace, we'll see”

Noah, By the time you read this, I'll be gone. You have to understand that it's better for both of us this way, if I just vanish from your life and wipe your slate, your consciousness completely clean. Once you're finished with this letter I guarantee you will hate me and just the thought of me or the sound of my name will make you cringe with disgust. It will become a bitter poison on your tongue. Those who are loyal to you will no longer be my family . None of you will ever want to breathe my name again let alone utter any words about me to anyone. I'm warning you now, Noah, what I'm about to tell you is going to ruin you.  It's going to break your heart so badly you're probably going to wish you were dead.  I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but it's the only way. You have to know the truth about what happened during those three days in Montana on that last tour we were on together; you deserve to know, because it was the moment that everything changed for us.  You're better off without me, Noah, and in time you'll see. In time you'll be able to rest in peace.  

Noah:

“I didn't want to finish the letter. Knowing she was already gone was enough, and reading it, having it spelled out in front of me would’ve only made the gash in my heart worse. But I decided to finish anyway but regretted it instantly.  I swear I could feel myself slowly slipping away as her words began to bring out the worst in her."

I rested my forehead against the back of her shoulder. 

“I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must have been feeling. Being dumped, abandoned without any explanation is a horrible feeling. It can take someone’s mind to such a lonely place and destroy you.”

“You would know, wouldn't you,” I said while playing with her fingers. 

She leaned back against my chest while sitting between my legs. Turning her head at just the right angle she was able to glide the tip of her nose softly along my jawline and it filled me with a yearning of wanting to be inside her again. 

“Not like you do.” 

I shivered when her lips left a trail of soft kisses on my skin. 

“Read me more, please. I want to know everything,” she urged. 

I sighed, and even though I really didn't want to, I knew sharing this part of my life was important for us. So, I continued.

“Lying in between the memories choking me, and I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know”

The night you told me the truth about cheating on me, it broke me, but not in the way you might think. I was angry, full of guilt, relief, sorrow, and regret that created a huge mess of emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. Running was my only option. I had to escape the pain of knowing how horribly I'd hurt you and you didn't even know it.  Noah, you were brave enough to be honest with me about what you did. You admitted your guilt and how ashamed it made you feel.  You truly believed you'd hurt me and watching the way it tore your mind and heart apart left me in agony. I wanted to tell you the truth then, but I just couldn't bring myself to, so I took the coward's way out and ran away.  I called Jolly and cried to him. He said he couldn’t understand anything I was saying let alone an idea of what I was talking about but he did his best to console me anyway.  The guilt I felt, knowing what I’d done to his best friend just made everything blur together and with the way I was driving I didn’t see the headlights of the other vehicle in my lane. Jolly was still on the phone when I screamed right before the collision happened. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the hospital. So, what is the truth that was too hard for me to tell you even though I was given the chance to say many times? Noah, I hope you're sitting down, because what I'm about to say is going to be the death of whatever peace your mind had about me.

Noah:

“Noah?” Her soft voice calling to me made me lower my head and when her hand collided with my cheek, her touch brought me back to reality. 

The past wasn't real, but she was, and so was the feeling of her naked body against mine. Turning herself around so that her legs were on either side of me and her arms were resting on my shoulders, she leaned in and kissed me, slipping her tongue inside my mouth little by little.  She was making me so hard and I knew she could feel me between her legs, pressed tightly against that sweet soft spot of hers I loved so much.  I couldn’t control the constant twitching that was happening each time she purposely pushed herself into me either. 

“She knew exactly what she was doing to you and that’s what hurt the most. I'm sorry she hurt you,” her voice whispered in my ear before she took a little bit of it in her mouth. 

“Ughh, fuck baby,” I moaned, squeezing her hips tighter and tugging her closer to me. 

“That’s what happens,” she said, brushing her breast up against me, her perky nipples grazing across my skin, making it scream.  “You let people in and they destroy you. But I won’t.” 

She sat back and looked at me, the look in her eyes nearly making me cum. She had me wound up so tight that I swallowed hard when she pushed herself into me again and her warm, shaky breath washed over my face. 

“You deserve so much more than you believe you do, Noah.” 

Slipping her hands beneath the waistband of my box-briefs, I lifted my bottom up and she slid them down my legs, tossing them aside, retaking her spot over me. 

“I’ll give you the world, if you want it,” she admitted, laying her mouth on mine and taking my lips to hers as if she owned them; she did. 

“The moon, the fucking stars. Anything you ask, it’s yours. I’m yours. You can have all of me,” she confessed through a shaky, tear filled voice. 

I pulled her way to look at her and my heart felt like it had busted through my chest. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but the prettiest smile on her lips. I sat up and kissed her tears away tasting their saltiness. 

“I want all of it,” I admitted, brushing some hair out of her face. 

“I want all of you, but not just what you let the world see. I want all the broken, busted up parts too; the parts that make you, you. I meant it when I said I would fight the battle for you. I would, I still will. If I have you, then you have all of me too.” 

She started to cry and I pulled her into me as she laid her head on my shoulder.  I fucking loved this girl in my arms more than I ever thought possible.  More than the girl in the letter, and that scared me because there was a time when I loved her more than anything. We were both quiet for a moment, resting in the quietness of our beating hearts. I was about to finish reading the letter, when her hand slipped down and around my cock, instantly making it hard.  Slowly she ran her hand down my shaft, then back up, the grip she had applying the perfect pressure needed to stimulate what I was dying for.  I laid my head back against the couch, focusing on nothing but the feeling of what her hand was doing. The faster she went the harder her grip became and reminded me of what being inside her felt like; heaven.  I found her entrance between her wet folds and easily slipped a finger inside her tight little pussy, taking the greatest pride in hearing her moan and melt into my touch. I felt her wetness coat my fingers, as I pumped them in and out of her as she clung to me. 

“Oh, holy fuck, I need to be inside you, now.” I ordered, but it sounded more like a plea. 

She didn't hesitate to obey but instead shifted enough so that her pussy was aligned perfectly with my hard length. 

“Noah, look at me,” she commanded and I listened to her.

Her eyes were vibrant and full of something indescribable, something that I could never put into words; but I felt it and I knew she did too. 

“I fucking love you.” 

It slipped out before I could stop myself and I was scared I crossed a line.  But her smile took that feeling away immediately. It was genuinely kind and made me feel the same way I felt when I first saw her. 

“I love you too; all of you.” 

She pushed into me and took all of me and I watched her expression change as soon as I filled her. Her tight, wet walls closed in on my throbbing cock now buried deep inside her, searching for that special spot that was going to pull all the pretty cries and moans from her that I loved to hear.  I gripped her hips, sighing once she began to move slowly, with her hands placed firmly on my chest. But I wanted more and I knew she did too. 

“I want you to grind on me, baby, ride me till you're satisfied. Ride me till you cum.” 

That seemed to be all she needed. Soon I had her crying and moaning so loudly that she dug her nails deep into my skin, squeezed me tighter with her thighs, and let my name fall from her lips like a sacred prayer.  It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She pulled my hands to her small breasts, indicating to me she wanted stimulation and I all too willing obliged her.  I took each nipple between my finger and thumb, squeezing them until she cried. Once hard and perky, I dragged my tongue lazily over the soft, delicate skin, circling and lapping every part until taking it in my mouth.  Her moans pulled my orgasm closer and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Luckily, I didn't have too. Her hands found the back of my head, holding me in place while she fucked me slow and gently and I got her off by sucking my favorite parts of her. 

“Noah, baby,” she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't have to. 

I looked up, grinning at the face I saw. With eyes closed, she was in perfect ecstasy. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, Princess.” 

She didn't say anything, just moaned and nodded. 

“Cum for me then baby, let it go and give us both what we want.” 

Her lips crashed into mine and our tongues danced as she came undone all over me and I quickly followed. 

It wasn't loud, it wasn't messy; it was just us, falling apart for one another together quietly. It was love making in its purest form and in that moment with her I realized the difference between straight fucking with foreplay and making love and how they were very different.  We weren’t each other's first. She had a fucked up ex and I had many experiences that left me feeling used. But what she and I had just shared had so many emotions involved, ones that I didn't even know I could feel anymore.  She pulled them out of me somehow and allowed me to willingly feel what I had buried away. They were tangled together, knotted and rooted in the dirt of my past. But, thanks to the beautiful human in my arms, for the first time in my life I felt the difference and wasn't afraid to feel them. 

She made me feel so fucking alive and I loved it. 

“Speaking in languages we can’t read, no need for you to spell it out for me/ Swallowed up and I’ spit you out, like a drug that just wouldn’t stay down”

Montana was beautiful, Noah, and the idea of visiting it with you was a dream come true. I'll never forget when you came home and told me that it was on the list of states the band was playing. Your excitement was contagious and the way your eyes sparkled and lit up your entire face will forever haunt me.  It was one of the last times we were truly happy together. Those three days haunt me, Noah. They hold the worst, but also the best memories. 

So here it goes… the whole truth.

The first show day went smoothly; you remember I'm sure. We all went out and had a small celebration in that little country bar where Folio rode the mechanical bull until he bled… like seriously bled. I thought I was going to pass out from seeing all the blood from his arm.  The day of the second show, however, was utter chaos and hell. Everyone woke up late, the venue wasn't unlocked when we got there, and some of the equipment malfunctioned. You were miserable and because you were miserable, so was everyone else. 

I tried to help, but I felt like I was only making things worse. From the moment you yelled at me in front of everyone and the things you said out of frustration, I knew things were going to be different between us. It wasn't that you yelled at me, Noah, it was what you said that was the slap to my face.  You accused me of being selfish and too self conceited and centered to understand what you were going through, and you know what? You were right. I was, I am those things. And to prove I was, I decided to get back at you in my own way; the way I regret now more than anything. 

After storming out of the venue and turning my phone off, I found a bar away from the venue, away from every memory of you. I wanted you out of my head, but mostly out of my heart because I was hurting.  So, the first guy who sat next to me and bought me a few rounds was it. He was the one I chose to make my biggest mistake with. He took me back to his hotel room, which ironically was in the same hotel as ours, you were just one floor above me. 

I was too drunk to worry about anything, not even caring if the receptionist recognized me.  Noah, I will save you the details of what I did with that man in the hotel room that night. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be, and in the end he left me hurting way more than when I started out. Not just emotionally, but physically too.  Thankfully there were no marks on my body, yet, but the bruises would show the following day. I lied and said you did them to me and the look on your face was devastating. I felt like a piece of shit. Maybe I was. No, I know I was. I should burn in hell for what I did to you Noah. You didn't deserve it.  But the worst was yet to come when the events of the night you fucked some girl who wasn't me happened and you found out I was pregnant. Nicholas said at first you were too shocked, but when it was time for me to leave the hospital, Matt said it was all you could talk about; how you were going to be a dad and how you had so much faith that the baby would be the thing to tie us back together after your actions ruined us. 

It wasn't you who ruined us, Noah, it was me, but I couldn't tell you that. Not now. Not with a baby on the way. So, I kept my silence and avoided you as much as I could, using your cheating as the excuse. And I lied to you every day up until… well you know when.  Losing the baby was never, ever the intention, Noah, that, I promise, you can believe.  I never wanted any harm to come to my baby. But when I woke up last month at seventeen weeks pregnant in a pool of blood, I knew it was over. 

The lies could stop, the truth could come out and everything would be okay. Except it wasn't, was it? Losing the baby was too hard for you. It made you do things you regret doing and I regret watching, knowing I had the power to stop it all.  I know the feeling of loss is still very raw in your heart. You're wounded and reading this letter, knowing I'm long gone, soon to be nothing but a distant memory you'd do anything to forget, is going to throw salt on that wound, but I think it's time for me to help you put your demons to rest. 

Noah, the baby…. the baby was never yours to begin with. 

I mean, honestly, think back to the first time we had sex after that fight. Think…. and you'll remember. If you don't let me help. You wore a condom, Noah and you filled it, but I lied to you and told you it broke because I was scared.  The night I spitefully killed us in every way possible was the night I conceived another man's child.  So, you see, none of it was your fault after all, Noah. It was all mine all along.  Did I feel guilt? Yes. Remorse, no. Not until now. Now that I’m walking away from you, I feel every bit of remorse possible, but it’s too late now, isn’t it.  The you I knew and loved is gone and so is the girl you knew. And that’s the difference between us, Noah. You felt remorse and it made you so vulnerable.  I hope the next girl you fall in love with is good to you. 

I hope she is never afraid of your darkness or the demons who dance in your eyes sometimes. I remember the time when you thought no one could ever love you if you revealed what lurks inside you. You’ve always been different, Noah, you know that and how could anyone understand that?  But I hope she understands and is never afraid to follow you into your darkness so that she can learn to love the beast that’s inside. I tried to, but in the end I realized that sometimes, true love comes in the form of a loving demon, or a protective monster, or even a dark angel who sits and waits patiently for you to arrive.  You are all those things Noah; and I hated you for it. 

I’m sorry I hated you, because now I know that you were the only one to ever, truly love me. 

                                    With all my love, Always, Sarah

Noah:

I woke up, flat on my back, head off the pillow, but the blanket over top of me. As my vision cleared, Sophie was nowhere to be seen. My heart started pounding, thinking maybe she regretted last night; the things we did, the things I said. Was it all too much and she felt pressured or overwhelmed? My head was starting to panic. I ran my hands over my face, trying to convince myself everything was okay, but it didn't help. I sat up, looking around for my shirt only to remember that I'd used it on Sophie, making me remember the corner I threw it in; it was still there. I needed to find Sophie and make sure everything was good between us, especially now that she knew the truth about me and Sarah. I needed to know if she was still willing to commit herself to me, to us, with this kind of baggage attached, but first I needed a shower. My stomach suddenly hurt, the anxiety nipping away on the inside and it felt like there was a giant hole in me. I needed to fill that hole. I need my girl.

The story continues with the first chapter in the sequel “The Things We Could Never Change”.

[come-away-with-me87]

Modern Hearts Chapter 7

Chapter 6 here

******

When you arrived back at the campus, you walked up the stairs and came face-to-face with Shouta.  He was walking out of his dorm at the time...which just happened to be right next door to yours.  "Y/N...I think we should talk."  You just stared at him for a moment, until it finally dawned on you what he said.  "Yes, of course! Would you like to come in?" you asked him.  You unlocked your door, and he followed you inside.  You put your food down on your kitchen counter, turned around and saw him looking around your dorm.

"It looks like you've settled in nicely," he said, when he looked over and finally spotted the food on the counter.  "I'm sorry, were you about to have dinner?" he asked.  "No, no, it's okay. It can sit there for a bit, I'd rather talk to you," you replied.  You then went over to your couch, where you patted the spot next to you for him to sit down next to you.  He did just that, and started talking.  "Y/N, I have complicated feelings about seeing you again."  You just looked at him, feeling more confused than ever.  "Or at least, I did," he continued, "you see, I took the pen pals thing very seriously, and was thrilled when we continued to write to each other throughout elementary school."

"I never made any other friends during elementary or even middle school, so your letters meant the world to me.  I noticed that they started to die down during middle school, then by the time we reached high school, you never responded to my last letter."  It hadn't even dawned on you that he was the last one to make contact, and you never responded.  You felt horrible.  "Shouta, I'm so sorry..." you didn't know what else to say.  "It's really okay, Y/N.  We were just kids, I shouldn't have put so much pressure on you.  I was just starting at U.A. High School myself, and ended up becoming friends with Hizashi, who you met earlier, and Oboro..." he trailed off.

"Anyways, I just wanted to talk to you about the way I acted towards you earlier today and apologize; that was uncalled for."  You looked at him with tears in your eyes, "Shouta, I didn't realize I was the one who stopped responding, I should be the one saying I'm sorry."  You wanted to put your hand over his, but if he's still anything like he was in his younger days, he wasn't a very touchy-feely person, so you opted not to.  He just shrugged his shoulders, repeating "we were just kids, it's really okay."  You looked over at him, "do you think we could start over, and try to be friends again?"  He smiled faintly, "I'd like that."  

You offered Shouta a glass of wine, and you two sat there on your couch for the next hour and half just catching up while you both shared your sashimi.  The conversation flowed nicely, and it was comfortable.  It almost felt like no time had passed between the two of you; it was nice.  Suddenly, it was 8:00pm, when Shouta announced he should get going stating he still had some papers to grade.  You looked over at him once again and smiled, "thank you for coming over and talking to me.  I feel much better than I did earlier today."  "I do, too, Y/N.  I will see you tomorrow."  And with that, he patted your knee like an old pal, got up from your couch, and left your dorm.

What you didn't plan to tell him, or anyone for the matter, was the bolt of electricity you felt when he touched you.  It was just a simple pat on the knee, but the way you felt, he may as well have grabbed your face and passionately kissed you.  You had a chemistry with Michael back in the states, but never felt that bolt of electricity when you two would "accidentally" graze hands, or "bump" into each other.  No, this was different, you couldn't explain it.  You tried to shake it off, thinking it was just a fluke.  Shouta was an old friend, and that was it.

******

To be continued...

******

Tag list: @jaguarthecat ; @lili-pond

[peanutbutter-doodles]

An idea for a stardemon fic i had i wanted to share if you wanted an idea :D)) where Gene has a terrible dream paul died and it all seemed too real for him he rushes to find Paul to make sure he is safe 😢?

You just opened up pandora's box, so here it is!

The dream

summary: ‘’Yes…Paul?’’

I spoke, breathing out as my lungs were being crushed as the snake went on while I faintly heard the sound of a click.

‘’Why weren’t you there for me?’’ He stated, before….

His face started to burn and melt to smithereens, his skin peeling and falling, charred to the bone. Screaming and repeating the words he spoke as his hand grabbed my neck, starting to choke me as i stared and gargle my words, pressing his inflamed fingers into my skin as tears streamed down and the eyes of his face reflected once more as the words got louder and the burnt face plagued my mind the more i look at him burning.

⚠️Warnings: all just a dream, hurt/comfort, Angst, character death (not really), graphic depictions of gore and violence, symbolism, crying, nightmares, Open/Ambiguous ending, First person point of view, explosions, fire, screaming, the r word is dropped twice, Ask to tag. Who let me cooked in this~

Smells like a roast- i'll go.

TheDreamonAo3

Reblogs and Comments, Are deeply appreciated!

Loud explosions rang throughout the heavy traffic, deafening my ears as they rang painfully as I watched in horror from the sidelines ahead of me. Fire engulfed it entirely in what it seems to be a limousine, well used to be as the fire went up widely in a haze and the burning smell of smoke and ash went up my nose as I breathed it in when I rolled down my window. Trying to see more, the cars and trucks were becoming chaotic and sporadic as they tried to get away from the flames and avoid getting caught in the crossfire. The skies were becoming dark and demonic, smoke filling the air. I peaked out, to look ahead.

Trying to see more, the whole scene. My ears were ringing violently, I almost thought I was deaf for a sec until I heard a gruesome screaming that made my eyes widened so much they were bugging out. A scream I wished I never heard, rattling me to the very core of my being as the screaming got worse and worse every minute the flames went up, almost taking some care and people with it as they went around or escape it deadly grasped. A scream that made my heart sank and felt….

Familiar….too familiar and…

One that I knew too well.

Peaking out, further from the window. Narrowing my eyes directly at the fire, some parts being burned, broken or melted, I looked side to side. Praying to myself silently that it wasn’t who I thought it was, holding my breath, heart was pumping fast, sweat dripping down my face, I looked, took a breath and to my horror, in front of my eyes. I saw him….

Trying to get out of the limo that trapped him in the fire, screaming out for anyone to come rescue or to help as blood was streaming down down his face, looking battered up, a look of helplessness and fear on his face. Trying to get out by banging on the windows, screaming horrifically and bashing his head violently on the window at one point, only the blood came out and dripped more and the pain worsened in him and….

Me.

I gasped, undoing my seatbelt as quickly as I could but to no avail I couldn't. It was tightening up against me, not letting me, slithering all over me like a python, pressing and pressing into me. Suffocating me, i struggled to breath, i couldn’t speak as i looked away in horror as more explosions went off, the fire going up more like a monster each time i heard the gruesome screaming and the image of him bloodied penetrating my mind made me more scared and horrified as the scene become more…

Grim. 

My heart beated violently, more sweat brewed and trickled down my face each time, struggling the breath each time seatbelt pressing more of their ferocious strength onto me making choke on the smoke and ash filling my throat the mere second i opened my mouth to cry or speak out to call out but no matter how hard i tried i couldn’t. Not at all, as my eyes were raped the image of him more bloodied up and screaming so horrifically it echoed in my ears, making them bleed as i tried to lift my hands to cover or reach for the handle the belt hugged me tighter and slithered around my neck, choking me.

Making me still look at the scene that’s reflecting in my eyes like a mirror, the skies are dark enough I can't see anything but the flames in front of me, my vision got cloudy as my ability to breath was becoming harder to achieve the more I struggled. The smell poisoning my lungs like a cigarette being smoked to death, the back of my throat closing up slowly like my vision and the horrid sounds of him burning were raping me more and more the second he bashed and screamed in that limo.

Burning up in the flames, melting into nothing as liquid.

Breaking me, tears peaked out.

Shakily breathing, mind full of him.

My ears are ringing, blood dripping down the sides of my neck.

The world is burning, in front of me and he’s….

Burning with it, as I am too.

I’m Screaming out mentally, him psychically.

It hurts….

I blinked and….

There he was.

He’s standing in front of me, like nothing’s wrong. 

All beautiful, hair done to the nines, wearing the outfit that made him look like the true starchild he was, brown eyes shining like the various necklaces i wear day to day, the brownish-black curls flowing the wind while he shows off the smile that can bring a mother to tears with how cheerful it was, brightening up with his whole very being as he leaned his face down to me, the flames are gone, yet i still smell and taste the fire.

Thus feel the seatbelt course around me, moving. As more oxygen left my body, losing the will to hold on while he stared and smiled at me, his hand touching my cheek and caressing it softly with the hand felt soft as dove and made the rest of smell like a blooming rose in the garden in the bright sunlight, surrounded by dandelions and sunflowers. Getting a taste of such beauty after everything I've seen up to this point, I leaned into his touch.

Becoming calm and at ease, thinking everything is all over and done with until he spoke with a voice that I came to know and love dearly with that sweetness to it, now it was…

Bitterness. 

‘’Gene.’’

He said my name, and I responded, everything went silent when I said for the first time…

‘’Yes…Paul?’’

I spoke, breathing out as my lungs were being crushed as the snake went on while I faintly heard the sound of a click.

‘’Why weren’t you there for me?’’ He stated, before….

His face started to burn and melt to smithereens, his skin peeling and falling, charred to the bone. Screaming and repeating the words he spoke as his hand grabbed my neck, starting to choke me as i stared and gargle my words, pressing his inflamed fingers into my skin as tears streamed down and the eyes of his face reflected once more as the words got louder and the burnt face plagued my mind the more i look at him burning.

Half of his face is gone while the other is peeling, part of his skull is showing along with his brain, the hair turning darker like my vision was as he insulted me and asked me that questioned over and over again with a hoarse voice as parts of him were being melted and melded together on him, bringing him with me.

Torturing me, with the flames over and over.

Repeating my name, switching to different ways of saying it.

Hugging me, as we burned together.

Into the dark abyss alone, I blinked again and….

‘’It’s your fault.’’

The flames burst out, as….

The car exploded with…

Us, in it.

‘’Gene, what’s wrong?’’ He asked, as I stood at his doorstep at three am in the morning, soaking wet, dead tired, afraid and worried, a mess disgustingly so. While he looked beautiful like he did in my dreams, wearing the purplish fluffy robe. Tied up, his curls all messed us from sleeping a few minutes ago before I came here, wearing slippers and rubbing his eyes. Looking up at me, with a concerned look. ‘’Gene…You okay?’’ He asked, once again.

I breathed silently, too afraid to speak.

‘’Gene…’’ His hand goes out, touching me. 

Almost flinching, I didn't. 

‘’Hey, is everything ok?’’ He goes, brown eyes glimmering with the light above us, reflecting in mine almost replacing the violent images in my head as he stares at me, getting more worried each minute. I'm quiet and not responding to anything he does. The dream was so vivid and real that…

I don’t want the thing I dreamt of to be real, as he touched me with his hand. Taking my hand in his, getting frantically scared, trying to talk to me, get through to me, anything that will get me to talk as the skies started to rain down on us while he talked and took me inside to protect us from the rain, leading me into living room where all that remain was nothing except for a empty guitar case and the ceiling fan that was running almost quietly as a mouse.

I watched him, pace silently to himself as he led me to his bedroom but stopped when I didn't move. My emotions were starting to become stronger from hiding them too long, the more I watched him become worried and scared for me, gripping my hand tighter. Trying to get me to move, but I couldn't.

I heard him hitch his breath, turning to me.

His eyes trembled, as he spoke.

‘’Gene, please tell me what’s wrong. Are you hurt? Did something happen at the studio or with Shannon?’’ He asks, asking more questions. Trying to figure out what the problem was as I just stood there holding his hand, hearing his voice full of kindness instead of bitterness, smelling full of lavender and roses not like ash and smoke, skin so smooth and soft unlike the one that I felt in my dream.

Standing with and in front of me, not burning.

Not engulfing me with flames, or tainting me with words.

Not plaguing me with a violent image, instead with a heavenly one as I looked at him.

My mind racing with thoughts, my heart beats slowly as I breathed in the scent silently.

I spoke out.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ I said, he looked up at me.

‘’Your, what?’’

‘’I’m sorry….’’ I repeated, tears peaking out. Pulling him by the hand, into my arms. Embracing him, as he looked up at me all confused and worrisome, as I hugged him tighter. Feeling him again, making sure he and I won't burn away in flames or in ash, tearfully crying. Tears sliding down my face and onto his shoulders. His looked down at it, then at me. ‘’I’m sorry…’’ I repeated, hugging him more.

Almost squashing him, but i have too.

To make sure this is real, and he is…

Real, in mind and body.

My fingers dug into him, I sobbed.

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’What, for?’’ he asked, gently. Touching my face with his hand, wiping away the tears with his thumb. ‘’What are you sorry?’’ he softly goes, wiping more tears away as i tearfully choked on my words and the image of him right now painted my mind. ‘’Gene?’’

‘’For, Everything.’’

‘’Like what?’’ he whispers, and i…just…hold him in my embrace as we just stood there in the middle of the room as the clock ticked while the sound of rain became louder and the thunder started, i took breaths trying to calm myself while i felt his hands slid and wrap themselves around my neck gently instead of painfully. 

I shooked, he didn’t notice.

‘’Like what, Gene?’’

I didn’t say anything after that, i held him in my arms as i cried out in his for a hour as the thunder and rain got louder, he comforted me with his looks and touches as were silent with each other and stood in the room for as long as possible till the tears didn’t come anymore and standing got more tiring like the both of us.

So, he led me into his room where it was full of darkness just like mine except for the dim light on the nightstand that was blessing the room with it presence like he’s blessing mine right now, he didn’t ask anything after that just was looking at me as we both laid in bed side by side, surrounded by pillows and blankets.

Both of our eyes were shutting, those images were still there but the image of him sleeping beautifully in front of me was taking them away as I looked at him and didn’t turn away from him, shuffling closer to him, looking him down and up.

Moving those curls away, seeing that face.

I breathed out, he snored.

I stared, he slept.

I spoke, he awakened.

His eyes staring into mine, reflecting.

‘’Are you real?’’ i asked, he tiredly looked at me.

‘’Huh?’’

‘’Are you real?’’

His eyes moved, side to side then at…

Me. 

‘’I’m real.’’

‘’Are you sure?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Will you still be here when i wake up?’’ I asked, caressing his cheek.

‘’Yes.’’ He answered, almost closing his eyes.

‘’You promise?’’

‘’I promised, always.’’ He said, closing his eyes.

As I did, except this time…

I saw heaven, instead of hell.

[darthfrodophantom]

Heeeey, Darth!! Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💚

Hi Summers! What a great idea! I love this!

Here are the five favorite fics I've written, in no particular order (but maybe a bit of an order):

A Secret Uncovered Summary: When Danny's transformation is caught on tape, Danny has a whole new battle to face, including a press conference, Valerie, and, of course, school. But who is the mysterious ghost who set him up? And how much can he possibly mess up his life? Reason: This has always been my favorite of the pieces I've written. I poured so much love and work into this piece over (many) years. I'm so proud of it. I set out to tell a story of what it would be like if everyone knows (before Everybody Knows AUs became a thing and even before Reality Trip haha) and used it as a vehicle to show so many different reactions. I've had so much fun working on this. (And there may be a cross-post to AO3 very soon!)

Tortured Truth Summary: Danny's parents discover that the ghost boy is half human. Now that they've captured Danny, will he submit to torture and reveal himself, or is the revelation just the beginning of their problems? Reason: I'm starting with my old ones here! This is actually the first fic I ever shared with anyone, and it's also the first fic I've ever finished. While the torture is tame compared to today's standards, I feel like it has a great emotional payout and I enjoyed taking a micro-examination of the family unit's reactions and using Danny's illness as a way to force everyone to confront his powers.

The Red Vengeance Project Summary: With cameras strapped to their foreheads, Paulina and Star venture into the woods to bait the ghostly urban legend to appear in the hopes that Phantom will come save them. It seemed like a good plan in the light of day, but they get more than they ask for in the dark, claustrophobic, and dangerous woods. Reason: This was one of the first DP fics I'd written in a long time. It'd taken a break and just come back to the phandom to write this and another fic for Ectoberhaunt and I loved it. It brought me back to why I loved writing for this phandom in the first place. I picked this one over my actual first fic since coming back because I enjoyed writing this one more. I loved playing around with the different POV and I felt like it resulted in a really cool effect.

Micro-Unmasking Summary: Great timing prevented Danny’s secret from being revealed to Dash during their shared experience with the Fenton Crammer. But what would happen if his timing had been just a little off and Dash saw more than Danny wanted? Reason: This one's had a special place in my heart for awhile. I started it in 2009 and finally finished it in 2022! It was also just a fun topic that I enjoyed reading. I felt like I got to be a little witty in this one and I just really enjoyed writing it.

Prove That You Deserve the Answer Summary: After an argument with Jazz leaves Maddie feeling insecure about her role as a mother, she wishes she could understand her children better. She soon learns the dangers of making wishes around ghosts when she switches places with Jazz. But when this body swap allows her the opportunity to really talk with Danny, she realizes that maybe she can use this to finally see what's really going on with her son, and maybe find some way to fix their relationship in the process. Reason: I am so proud of this one. I sought out to finish a longer fic and I actually did it! I really pushed myself on this one, and I feel like it really paid off. I feel like the internal thoughts and monologues were so fun to explore and I loved writing from Maddie's POV.

And there are my five! This was a fun dive into my past works and really took some thought as to why they became some of my favorites.

Because this is a great idea, I'm gonna do some tagging! Maybe we can come up with a great list of reading recommendations from it by the end! I'm going to tag: @summerssixecho (you're not escaping your own idea lol), @underforeversgrace, @murphy-kitt, @nickelodeonstudios, and @lexosaurus

[softxsuki]

So I saw that you had I tag I follow and immediately rushed over! So first and foremost...How are you? Are you drinking water daily? And I also wish you a good rest of days.

I was wondering since I rarely see this for Akatsuki no Yona. Like a Chubby reader. That's all. Like didn't they exist back then too?...

So basically Reader was Yona's personal maid, one of her most trusted friends like Hak and Soowon. So now they are apart of the group and basically feel out of place. She has a crush on Jae-ha but knowing he only goes for "attractive" women she doesn't act upon her feelings.

What happens next? 👀

Insecure Chubby!Reader Who Has A Crush On Jae-Ha

Pairing: Jae-ha x Chubby!Fem!Reader

Warnings: uh talking down about yourself, insecurities, lowkey suggestive at one point? but nothing crazy

Genre: comfort, fluff

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: In which you confess to Yona that you have a crush on Jae-ha, but he'd never like you back because you're chubby and he only goes for thin women. Little do you know that someone is listening in on all this o.o

[A/N: OMg hi...I KNOW I KNOW. It's been way over a year since you requested it. If you're still around, you're probably wondering what the heck this is as it's been long forgotten. I'm sorry it took me so long to write, I had it half written in my drafts all this time because I started second guessing myself and I really loved this request and didn't think I could do it justice. SO here's my completed version of this. I hope it's decent, and hopefully you're still interesting in reading it :'). Sorry if it's disappointing NFEKJFKAEF <;3]

It was night now. Months had passed since Yona ran out of her castle after her father's murder. Hak had saved the both of you from Soowoon’s revenge on her father as you would not back down and go to their side either. Yona loved and respected you, so you owed her everything, and that still hadn’t changed. You still refer to her as Princess, just like Hak, but the two of you were closer than ever–going beyond the friendship a personal maid and a Princess should probably ever have. 

Owls hooted in the background and the sound of crickets surrounded you. You had all stopped for the night to set up camp, and were currently in your shared tent with Yona and Yoon. The young boy was fast asleep in the far corner of the tent, exhausted from running around all day, but you and Yona were wide awake from the excitement of the day–too pumped to even think about sleeping just yet. Giggles escaped your mouth at the girl-talk that was being exchanged between you both, then Yona began to blush as you asked her about her feelings for Hak. You had noticed the change in the atmosphere between them for a while now.

“He’s just…different from how I used to see him? Instead of just seeing him as that annoying kid back then, he’s more of a man in my eyes now… He said some uh, lovely things to me the other night and it just made me realize my feelings even more,” She hides her head in her hands, thinking back on the deep conversation she had with the raven haired man a few nights ago, but clears her throat and turns the attention away from herself, “What about you, Y/N? Seen anyone in any villages that have caught your eye? Or perhaps even someone among us, hmm?”

You could hear the slight tease in her voice at her question, she fully knew who you liked, but wanted to hear you say it yourself. After all, what fun is girl-talk if she was the only one dropping juicy information.

“Well…there is someone I like, but he’d never go for a girl like me…” you trail off, looking down at your hands.

“Jae-ha would love you, Y/N. You’re gorgeous, kind, and you have a heart of gold, I see the way he looks at you whenever your back is turned.”

“W-what? How did you know it was Jae-ha?” You ask bewildered.

Yona laughs, placing a hand on your shoulder, “So it really is him? I was just making a lucky guess, wow.”

You huff. Perhaps it was a little obvious since you always got nervous around him and ONLY him. The slight disappointment that graced your features whenever he spoke of a beautiful woman he ran into in town. The tiny sparks of desire to have him speak to you with those lovely words, but it would never happen.

“He was probably just wondering why I can’t be so open with him like I am with everyone else,” You sigh. “I know I don’t belong here. You’re gorgeous and way above my social status. The other guys in our group are all very attractive as well, I’m the only one who sticks out like a sore thumb, but I guess I just have to deal with it!”

You fake a smile, regretting a little that you opened up too much. 

“Y/N, is that really how you’ve been feeling this whole time?” Yona asks, her voice now softer at your confession.

“It’s alright, really. I’m used to it by now, I don’t know why I suddenly decided to say that all right now. Everything’s okay!”

“No, everything’s not okay. Y/N, you are the most beautiful person I know. I don’t care if you think your extra weight makes you ugly compared to the rest of us, that doesn’t make a difference in my eyes and Jae-ha would be a fool to have that be a difference to him as well! Tell him how you feel! He would treat you like royalty.” Yona explains, a little enraged that you’ve been feeling this way all this time without her realizing it, “And I know we come from different backgrounds, but out here, we’re all the same. You and I are on the same level. You’re my best friend, and that won’t ever change! You are one of us, part of the happy hungry bunch! It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Thank you, Princess Yona. You’ve been a great blessing to me and I’m so very grateful to be your friend,” You smile slightly, but it falls again when you think of Jae-ha. “It seems that Jae-ha only goes for thin, beautiful women though. I can’t imagine him directing those compliments to me when I’m the complete opposite of all those women…I- I guess I just wish he could see me as a beautiful woman despite my weight. Even if it was only for a second.”

Yona once again assures you that you are indeed beautiful and that nothing is wrong with you. She was a little lost for words on what else she could say to help you feel better, she just wished you could see yourself the way that she saw you–a beautiful woman, inside and out. 

“If I’m so beautiful, then why won’t he look at me the way I want him to?” You shout in frustration, a little too loudly.

Your conversation is cut short though as the sound of shuffling is heard from outside the tent, along with the distant murmuring of the rest of the boys who were still awake, engaged in small talk.

“Will you both shut your mouths? I’m trying to sleep here. Y/N stop being a wimp and just confess to him already. You’ll never know until you at least try!” Yoon groans out with a huff, before light snores escape his mouth once again. 

“He’s right,” Yona whispers now, not wanting to awaken the tempered boy again, “But I guess this can all wait for another day. Let’s sleep, it’s getting pretty late.”

You both yawn at the same time and laugh lightly to yourselves. Perhaps it could wait…

Sleep consumes Yona pretty quickly, but your mind is plagued with a million thoughts that keep you up all night. It would be a tough day tomorrow.

…

The next day, your journey together continues as you finish packing up the last of your camp and continue forward. 

Yona and Hak had run up ahead of everyone else in the early morning to get in some more arrow shooting practice while the rest of you moved to catch up at a decent pace. You lagged behind a bit, lost in thought of everything you spoke about last night.

“Careful, wouldn’t want to run into a tree and ruin your beautiful face, now would we?” The sudden voice of the man you were thinking of, startles you back to reality along with the gentle touch of his arms around your shoulder, guiding you around a tree that you were seconds from walking straight into.

But all you could think about now was the presence of his warmth on your shoulder along with a word you had always longed to hear addressed to you–beautiful.

“Huh?” You ask a little frazzled, trying to control your breathing from his still present arms around you.

“You almost ran into the tree back there,” He smiles, now removing his arms from around your shoulders and awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

You both were now lagging behind the group who had finally joined back up with Yona and Hak. Yona sends you a quick thumbs up from afar, mouthing a ‘good luck,’ with a wink.

“Thank you,” you mumble to Jae-ha, ignoring Yona’s cheekiness, and continuing to walk to the rest of the group with your eyes glued to the ground. You couldn’t do it, you couldn’t tell him.

You hear the man sigh behind you before firm arms pick you up bridal-style, and jump into the air as you let out a yelp, instinctively wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding your face into his chest from being so high up. You were surprised that he was even able to lift you, but I guess all the dragons were fairly strong.

Your heart was hammering in your chest–both from the sudden action of being in the air, but also from being in close proximity to your crush. You could hear his own heart hammering in his chest, probably from having the fatigue of jumping while carrying something heavy (at least that’s what you think, his heart is definitely pounding for other reasons).

You can hear the distant joyful hollering of Yona and Zeno from afar, praising the green-headed man for his bold actions, to which Jae-ha chuckles at. It isn’t long until you’re safe on the ground again, far enough from the group now to have some privacy together. Jae-ha sets you down as you timidly scoot away from him and sit on the grass, trying to calm yourself down.

“What’d you do that for?” You ask hesitantly.

“A little bird told me that you’ve been talking down on yourself, is that true?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you avoid his eyes. You physically couldn’t look him in the eyes, you were far too embarrassed. Where had he heard that from?

He takes a seat beside you, gently reaching for a strand of your hair and admiring it as he twists it between his fingers. You’re frozen in shock. What was going on? 

His hand abandons your hair and gently grabs your chin to face him as his other hand wraps around your waist.

“And I’d love to know where you heard that I wasn’t completely infatuated by your beauty,” he teases.

Your eyes widen in shock.

“In fact, I love every inch of you, from the plumpness of your thighs to the softness of your stomach, your magnificent chest, and your puffy cheeks. You’re absolutely enchanting– a diamond among stones,” he continues.

“Your eyes, they outshine the beauty of any other woman in this land, you know why? Because they belong to you. I don’t care how big you think you are, but never talk like that about yourself again.” There was a certain sternness behind his voice now, as if he was really serious and hurt that you would think so badly of yourself.

“How did you-”

“I heard everything last night, Y/N. You have no idea how much self-control it took for me to not just burst into that tent and tell you everything right then and there. But I’m here now, and I can’t move forward until you know how much I love you. You’re beautiful and I won’t have you think otherwise.”

You were beyond baffled.

“All this out of nowhere? You’re always off fawning over all the beauties in town, but never at me. You’re just saying this to make me feel better, right? Well, it’s okay. I do like you, Jae-ha, but I don’t need your pity. You don’t need to like me back, I’ll be o-”

You’re cut off by the feeling of Jae-ha’s lips on yours. You can feel the emotion behind them as he was almost desperate to show you how real his feelings for you were. You lean into him, wrapping your own arms around him now, fully into the steamy kiss.

He pulls aways with a pant, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he laughs. “I hope you believe me now.”

“And to answer your question, I didn’t want to scare you off. I know how bold I can be, and a part of me loved watching you from afar, loving, admiring you in secret. It was exhilarating trying not to get caught,” he confesses. 

Yona’s words from that night echo in your head of how she had seen him watching you a few times. He really did like you…

“I’m surprised you never caught my wandering eyes. We need to work on you being more aware of your surroundings, darling. What if it was some other man gawking at you, and not me? Not that I’d let that happen…but still.” There he goes again with his teasing.

You playfully hit him on the shoulder, hiding your face in the crook of his neck, “Shut up,” you mumble, very embarrassed by all his words. You still couldn’t believe it, it was like all your dreams became a reality over-night.

Was this a dream? Because if it was, you never wanted to wake up. You cuddle further into him, hiding the heat that was quickly rushing to your face. You were overwhelmed, but in a good way. His own arms slither around you in a tight embrace.

“This is real right? You’re not just saying all this?”

“Of course this is all real, darling. And I’ll keep saying it all until you believe it. You’re under my care now,” He whispers that last part and leaves a peck to the top of your head. 

“I’ll take good care of you,” he confirms again, making sure you know it.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 1/24/2023

[rageprufrock]

Hi Pru!!! Ik you have been back on tumblr for a little but I just found out (bc I havent been here) so in a fit of nostalgia I went through your ask/fandom tags and read old fic meme responses and honestly it really struck me that I am now at the age of when you were writing many of my favorite fics (presque vu, drastically redefining protocol, etc etc your inception, haikyuu, and merlin fic lives in my heart) amd tbh it came as a shock. I think because im probably 15 years or so younger, I've always just seen those fics and ur process behind them as so Adult and one day I will also be an Adult just like that.

Spoilers, I am not quite the Adult I envisioned myself becoming while I had been reading your fics at 13, 14, 15 etc (worringly young) but I still hold a lot of it close to my chest and I think at least I am on the right track. Anyways tldr I love your fic, thanks for writing them, from both me of past and present.

I've read this ask over and over again, and I want you to know that I found it so moving, Anon, that I've been sitting with it for ages wondering how to respond other than to say: I can't think of anything more lovely or flattering than to know that in some way, the stories I wrote have been a part of your experiences growing up. These stories felt, to me, like part of my experiences growing up, too, and that we share that in some cosmic way always makes the world feel smaller and friendlier, and my own missteps and embarrassments less searing. We're all just kind of fumbling along together.

I think if you ask anyone, none of us are the adult that we anticipated being when we were young and reading about people older than us, who we had assumed had their shit together. I like to think that we're better than those imagined versions of ourselves, wiser and more patient, kinder from going through our own difficult periods, and more forgiving of people who we see headed down the same confusing roads toward getting older that we once took. It's why I think I find myself revisiting the theme of internal transformation so much: there's something so big and bright and difficult to explain about how the shape and size of the thing inside you changes over the years, how without any trigger mechanism or intention, you might wake up one day and realize you're an entirely different, marvelous surprise even to yourself.

Thank you, from the me of both past and present, for reading. <3

[solarsavoy]

WIP game

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

Tagged by @tuulikannel with the word WORLD

I literally just picked a letter, picked a fic, and then scrolled through til an excerpt started with the correct letter. No idea how intriguing the excerpts will be because of this though.

W - "Whatever he’s doing, I don’t think he has a choice. And it’s not like I’m actually hurt!” She [Naru] motions to herself as proof. “I’m sure he needs help, he just doesn’t know if he can trust anyone else.”

While I can’t argue that she’s physically healthy, it’s not okay to just steal people’s energy. I cross my arms, frustrated by Naru’s insistence. It does make me wonder what the Dark Kingdom is up to though. It’s somewhat true that Sanjouin hasn’t physically harmed anyone, but the same can’t be said for the creatures he summons.

“I don’t know why you trust him over the Magics.” I shake my head at her. “Have you seen the things he summons? Maybe he doesn’t hurt anyone, but those monsters do. That is literally him hurting people. Can’t you see that?”

-Magic Shuu, chapter 12

O - “Ogre?” Terasaka stops and stares at Mondo in disbelief.

“Yeah. She’s like the strongest human in the world or something.” Mondo switches arms.

“With the way that she looks, it’s appropriate.” Terasaka laughs. “She’s a monster ogre all around I guess.”

-Pandora's Box, work 1, chapter 4

R - “Ritsu”. It’s very small, but there’s a wifi signal emanating from the box.

Accessing unknown wifi.

Wifi is password protected.

…..inputing password: Merry Christmas…..

-Kristmas Karma II, chapter 25, Christmas Day

L - “Let’s kill your father, Nagisa!” Mother declares, laughing.

Despite not having a heart in this form, I can hear it pounding in my head. It’s fast, on the verge of a heart attack. Harder. Faster. I start breathing heavily wondering if this is the real me I’m sensing. My heart seems extremely unsteady if that’s the case.

“It’s okay…” an older woman’s voice attempts to soothe me. She sounds familiar… “I’m here. We’ll get there together,” she assures me.

I open my eyes and frantically look around for her. The beating slows until it’s no longer pounding in my head and I find myself alone in the snow. No kamalas, no Mother, and no strange old woman. Just Shukuen-kun’s footprints leading me towards Mount Kotrem.

Who was that?

-Nagisa Shiota, chapter 6

D - “Daddy?” I clutch his hand even tighter. “Why wouldn’t the healer heal Mommy?”

I look up at him feeling sad, lost, and confused. All I know is that two nights ago, Mommy was weak and wanted to sleep with me one last time. I didn’t believe it’d actually be the last time. I snuggled into her as she hummed me a song, and old hymn that was her favorite. Then I remember being suddenly awakened with my father holding his hand over my eyes.

“Don’t… Don’t look,” he’d warned me, and even though everything inside me wanted to question this, I didn’t.

I think… I knew what it meant.

But it was still too fast.

-Echoes of Stag, chapter Past Date 086.919.103 - Theraday (the rewrite)

Took me a bit to do this, but I hope the excerpts capture your interest. ^^

I tag @jackiewepps for this game (if you're willing) with the word... FIGHT

And just because, I'm tagging another person just because the word is too perfect for them. @heyhellohihowareyou with the word... HEART

[softguarnere]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank you for the tag @mercurygray!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 6, but hopefully that number will go up over spring break

What's your total AO3 word count?

119,136

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Like A Girl (Like A Man) - Band of Brothers

Just A Kid - The Outsiders

Bear The Burden Alone - The Chronicles of Narnia

For Whatever We Lose - Band of Brothers

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, absolutely! I share my writing because it allows me to connect with people who share my interests. If I'm not posting replies, it feels more like a one sided conversation, imo. Also, it seems the polite thing to do

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

It's about to be Like A Girl (Like A Man)! You'll see why soon >:)

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

On AO3, it's probably Bear The Burden Alone, but I try to keep the fics that I post here on Tumblr kinda upbeat with hopeful -- albeit open-ended -- endings.

Do you write crossovers?

Yeah! For Whatever We Lose is actually a crossover with The Pacific, and I'd love to do more crossovers in the future

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep! I've deleted the comments, but some people were VERY ANGRY about the background Babe/Roe content in LAGLAM -- you know, despite the fact that the plot of the fic is driven by a queer woman's decision to cross-dress. Guess they had to draw the line somewhere, but the hypocrisy of it all makes me chuckle

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Kinda? I deleted most of it from the original LAGLAM drafts and instead just alluded to it, but things are going to be different in FWWL. Get ready for crappy ocean metaphors and religious imagery, babes!

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not :( That would stink

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I think it would be fun!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Everlark! (said while frothing at the mouth because they make me go insane) I've been obsessed with them since I first read The Hunger Games at age 9. I could write you a whole novel about why I think they're perfect together, but I'll spare you the ramble (unless anyone wants it?)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Tears in my eyes when I tell you that it's probably the requests in my inbox. I keep telling myself that I'll get to them, but I've just felt unmotivated with all the stuff I've had going on in my personal life/at school. I really really do hope to get to them someday, though, because some of them will be really fun to write

What are your writing strengths?

I have no clue, lol. I tend to get compliments about how I describe settings, so I'm gonna say that!

What are your writing weaknesses?

My abuse of commas and italics.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Personally, I love doing it. Especially in a fic like LAGLAM, where even though most people don't speak the language I'm using (Cherokee), I feel like they can still see the importance to the characters and to the story. And I like tricking people into caring about Indigenous language preservation. My teachers told me that anything can be a vessel for carrying language on, and by God, I took that to heart

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Oh boy. I was in the fifth grade. I had won many writing competitions. Two classmates approached me and told me that they wished The Hunger Games had more post-Mockingjay Everlark content, and that since I was a good writer, they wanted me to write it. I was traded many cosmic brownies and other such snacks throughout the year for my services in providing my classmates with Everlark fics on pages of notebook paper that are probably crumpled up in a landfill by now. At the time, I had no idea I was writing fanfiction, but it was the start of my favorite hobby. Look at me now, baby!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I've always wanted to write for TURN: Washington's Spies but have never had the courage haha

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I have a couple of one-shots that I'm pretty pleased with, but currently I'm going to say LAGLAM because it's been so special to me <3

Tagging (but no pressure!): @almost-a-class-act @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @liebgotts-lovergirl

[ikamigami]

Idk if it'll mean anything coming from me, especially since I'm anonymously sending this, but I followed your blog for a while and I noticed recently that your mental health has begun to spiral the more you interact with the TSAMS fandom.

You might get mad or feel attacked, but I'm saying this out of concern, even if I'm a fellow internet stranger. I see you taking criticisms other people have for the show and interpreting it as a personal attack against you. Yes, this show is important, especially to you, it seems. I know what it feels like to be attached to a character you deeply connect with and get frustrated when their issues are overlooked or not treated seriously. But at the end of the day, it is a show.

I'm not your parent, so it's not like I can control what you do, but the tsams-confessions blog only seems to make you even more upset. I think you should take a step back from everything, block that blog for your own mental health, and allow yourself a moment to breathe. I'm not saying to stop watching tsams, but maybe unfollow the tags on tumblr (I know I had to for my own sake lol) and just enjoy the show alone and with your friends. That's my suggestion

Again, I am sending this out of concern. It doesn't seem like you're enjoying the show anymore, it's only causing you increase distress, especially the more you interact with the fandom. I hope if you do take my advice, you'll be able to return to the fandom space if you wish to do so after some time with a clearer head and be able to enjoy things again. I know you struggle a lot with mental health, and it's likely you don't see what is happening to you.

Take care of yourself. I don't know you, you're just words on my screen, but I still worry for you and hope to see you happy <3

Thank you so much for this beautiful message, dear anon 💗

You're absolutely right that I should distance myself from sams fandom. It helped a lot when I distanced myself from mha (my hero academia) fandom.

I'm taking others' criticism as personal attack mainly because of my paranoia. Whenever someone is saying something negative and it's related to something I was talking about I catch myself on immediately relating this to myself. That people are talking badly about me. I know that it's not the case every time.. but it's hard to not think like that when I see people saying something related to topic about Sun being suicidal.. Topic that I'm mainly talking about..

I just wanted to share my experiences alongside talking about show. I thought that people wouldn't have problem with that. But it turned out that they do.

The thing is that I'm blocked by tsams confessions blog. I'm getting the feedback from one of my friends. They're sharing what is upsetting them.

Which also makes me upset and on top of that there's also the fact that there are others who relate to Sun and his mental issues and they are the ones who are sending anonymous confessions pouring their hearts there saying their frustrations about the fact that others dimiss Sun's problems..

Someone even said that they were also ignored the same way Sun was.. and seeing later that people say that we want Sun to suffer to prove ourselves to be right is awful..

I was talking to one of my friends @magrigano ... They're deactivated now.. They are most definitely depressed themselves.. They often expressed how much they're upset about people not seeing that Sun is depressed.. They also relate to Sun a lot..

I'm worried about them because they deactivated and I don't have any contact with them beside Tumblr..

I'm scared that they took what people are saying to their heart..

I hope that they're fine but it concerns me that they deactivated..

If you or anyone else know @magrigano please check what's happening with them..

They often liked my posts and commented on them.. I think that they felt understood..

I know that this is just a show.. but fans are real people and this fandom treats people who are concerned about Sun (because they relate to Sun and his mental issues) awfully..

They don't seem to realize or maybe they just don't care that they words are hurting real people..

For me these people seem as if they want to be right. They want their headcanons to turn out to be true.

That anon I was talking about last time for example said that just because we're worried about Sun it means that we wishes him to be harmed to prove ourselves right and it's yikes.. but that's not true.. these words are very harmful because this is just assumption made by a stranger.. this person doesn't even know any of us and yet they don't seem to have a problem with making things up..

When it really isn't about who is right or wrong or what is canon and what isn't..

It's about letting others be. Why people can't let others relate to Sun and be worried about him?

I think that people like that anon likes to always be right. They think that they're superior than others. I'm making assumptions now, I know. But this is exactly how this anon comes across with what they're saying.

Because at the end of the day it's more than just angst and headcanons etc. Because people who relate to Sun and his mental issues are real. People who are worried about Sun are real.

Maybe my posts were only fuelling everything more.. but like I said I'm not the one who is sending those confessions about Sun - those ones who seem concerned about him and being upset with how fandom treats Sun's fans..

And it makes me worried.. because it's not only me.. if it was just me I wouldn't be that much upset.. but now one of my friends deactivated and I don't know what's happening with them..

I'm appreciate your concern and kind words, dear anon 💗

I just wish that this fandom wouldn't attack people who struggle with mental issues just because they want to be right.

Also it's important to note that not every person deals with mental issues the same way because everyone is different and also there are a lot more mental issues/disorders beside the more popular one. Let's take depression for example.

People think that when you're depressed it's obvious because you look sad and you sit in dark room and cry a lot.. but that's not true. Many people have atypical depression or they have high functioning depression.

People should learn more about mental health to not harm others with what they say.. or they should just simply not talk about mental health if they don't want to learn more about it..

It's not that people only ignore Sun's mental issues.. because with how they words things it comes off that they're dismissive of mental issues of real people who relate to Sun.. with how they say things carelessly, they hurt real people..

That's why I'm worried. It's not only about me. More people say that they relate to Sun and it hurts them as well..

I just wanted to be a voice for them.. I wanted to help for our struggles to not be ignored..

I think that it'd be enough if people just let us be. If they let us be concerned about Sun. If they let us relate to Sun.

But some people are just awfully mean and don't care if they hurt someone because they are right.

Also it's hard for me to just stop watching the show because it helped me realize so much about myself.. and I want to know how Sun's plot will resolve because I relate to him and because thanks to him and obviously Davis and EC.. I could finally connect the broken pieces of myself.. because when I'm looking at Sun I see a reflection of myself.. He not only deals with similar mental issues to me but he also has the same character/personality. His short temper and sometimes mean comments or his horniness it's all the same.. I just feel like I'm looking at slightly different version of me.. because his life is worse than mine ever was..

I often catch myself on saying that I wouldn't be as nice as Sun in some situations.. or I don't know if I would survive as long as him in his situation..

I think that he's strong but having your issues ignored is awful also if you struggle with depression or any mental disorder that others seem to not see..

Thank you for your advice, dear anon 💗

I think that I'll try to stick to just watching show and talking only to my friends.

I'm still worried about others who relate to Sun especially my friend @magrigano.. I hope that they're alright 🥺

[thefallennightmare]

Miracle-three

(gif created by me, the fallen nightmare. feel free to use, simply give credit)

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Author Note: I forgot how much I hate slow burns. So we'll see how long it lasts. Tags are open if anyone is interested!

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13

A yawn fell from my lips as I snuggled deeper into the bed, a blanket wrapped around me like a cacoon to keep in the warmth. It was my first day off in four days and with the constant traveling; I was relishing being able to sleep in an actual bed. The bunks on the tour bus weren't terrible but with Bryan's snoring I was thankful for the quiet night of sleep ahead. The sun was setting, the orange glow painting over the walls of the room, and I only left the bed to go to the bathroom or grab my room service. The entire day was dreading tomorrow because that's when I had to send Lana her first paycheck and I was about three hundred dollars short.

My mom had been doing great, even remembering who I was when we talked on the phone. Something about hearing my voice but not seeing my face must have helped. It warmed my heart that we had conversations about things like we used too before she got sick.

I could explain to Lana the situation. I'm sure she would understand.

Somehow I doubted that which is why I was heavily researching my idea, wondering what the risks were and if the payout was worth it. Everyone online who had a page said they could pay for things they wouldn't have with a regular job. I would have my own rules and wouldn't worry about sharing it with a partner. I could post what I wanted whenever I wanted. The only risky thing would be someone recognizing me and with who I worked for, I wasn't completely sold on the idea yet.

"I don't have to show my face," I told myself as I sat up, deciding pretty hastily.

Desperation made people do drastic things and starting an Only Fans was my last resort; I had no other options.

The phone on my camera wouldn't do and I sucked in my bottom lip, wondering if what I was about to do was a good idea. I needed a better camera and set up while also having a credit card with a high enough limit, though it was for emergencies.

Isn't this one? Think of it as an investment.

Agreeing with the voice in my mind, I scrambled out of bed and quickly stepped into a pair of black sweats and hoodie to match. I cringed when I noticed myself in the mirror and made quick work to make myself look somewhat presentable.

The walk to the nearest store was only a few minutes, and I enjoyed the sounds of the hustle bustle of the city as people walked passed me, their own ideas for the night fueling them. I knew little about cameras and thought about asking Bryan some advice but knowing I might have to tell him why I needed one didn't sit well with me

As I was leaving the store, two bags in hand and $500 more in debt, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and when I read the message, I couldn't help but let out a groan.

Davis, yet again, was inviting me out to dinner tonight with him and the crew. I ignored his first two because I really had plans to lie in bed all day. Now, the only thing I wanted to do was get my profile set up and start posting so I could make money as soon as I could. Plus, Noah was avoiding me ever since the night of the first show when Jolly caught us together. Nothing happened but to Noah, it was as if they caught us fucking.

The thought caused a flush to creep to my cheeks as another text came in.

Davis: If money is an issue, it's on the crew tonight. The last few days have been crazy and we want a night out to relax.

It was true; every show this tour is sold out which made for a crazy night. Everyone in the band and crew were exhausted so a night out was something we all needed.

Me: I'm already out, where should I meet you guys?

Davis: there's this Mexican restaurant right around the block from the hotel. Meet in an hour?

Perfect amount of time to set up and record my first video. I never was a modest person, even if I never had a boyfriend. A few hookups here and there gave me some experience, but I also knew what my body liked, hence me bringing a few differnt kinds of toys with me. After the first tour, I realized how lonely I got out on the road.

I refused to prove Noah right I was only here to fuck someone; which was not true. But that didn't mean I couldn't think of a certain tattooed vocalist while I filmed, right?

An hour and fifteen minutes and red flushed cheeks later, I was practically running out of the hotel to make it in time to the restaurant. As usual, I was running late, but that was because it took me some time to figure out how to edit and post the video to my page. What I filmed wasn't exactly raunchy but just enough to keep people wanting to come back.

I was in a rush to get to the restaurant that I nearly missed the body that I collided in. Strong arms wrap around me to keep me steady as I looked up into those dark eyes that haunted me every second of every day. My heart fell deep into the pits of my stomach as embarrassment filled my veins, knowing that face was the reason for my orgasm less than an hour ago.

Noah gave me a look as slowly removed his arms from me, Jolly and Folio standing on either side of him.

"Where's the fire, angel?" He asked while drinking in the sight of me with a wide grin.

In my pussy.

He was wearing a grey sweater; the hood pulled up over his head and white hat. I cursed my vagina as it throbbed at the sight of him and my pet name.

"Uh, I was meeting Davis and others for dinner," I pointed behind me, stuttering over my words a bit.

Jolly smiled. "We're headed there too. Care if we walk with you?"

Him and Folio, not at all. Noah, yes I minded.

I didn't appreciate him acting different around me when we were alone as opposed to when people were around us.

"Nope," I smiled.

The four of us walked quietly to the restaurant with Folio next to me, Jolly and Noah behind us. Folio bumped his shoulder with me which made me peer up at him.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while. Outside of work," he said.

I gave a half shrug. "Just been keeping to myself the last few days."

"Does that have anything to do with," Folio threw a thumb over his shoulder towards Noah.

"No," I said a little too quickly, afraid as if he could see in my mind what I had been doing back in my room. "I forgot how busy life on the road is, that's all."

"What did he do to make you avoid him?" he asked, seeing right through my lie.

This caused Noah to step closer to the two of us, forcing his way between Folio and I.

"I didn't do anything," Noah defended.

My body was still buzzing post orgasm so having him this close to made my stomach flutter and head hazy.

"Right," I muttered under my breath and gave myself some space from him, allowing Jolly to take my spot next to Noah.

"Did we do anything to put you off?" Jolly asked.

I shook my head. "No, not at all. Everyone has been nice. I meant what I said, I've just been tired."

Noah peered over at me past Jolly, something unreadable on his face, but said nothing while we turned the block, the restaurant coming into view. Davis, Byran, Matt, and Nick Ruffilo were already seated at a table outside as we walked up. My phone buzzed in my pocket and as I saw yet another notification from Only Fans, I didn't realize that the only open seat was next to Noah.

Cursing under my breath, I sat tentatively next to him and pocketed my phone, not wanting him to peak over my shoulder and see the notification.

I had a few new subscribers which meant people were paying for my content. Maybe soon things will start picking up and I wouldn't have to worry as much.

The server came over to take our order and I frowned at Matt as he ordered a pitcher of beer for all of us to share.

"Can I have a water and four chicken tacos please?" I asked with a smile.

"You don't want a beer?" Matt asked.

I shook my head. "I don't drink; well much anyway. I do for special occasions but not really feeling like it right now."

Noah muttered something under his breath, and my eyes snapped over to him.

"Care to share what you mumbling under your breath?"

"You seemed pretty into it last tour in Chicago," he didn't bother to look away from his phone.

I stared at him with my jaw slack, upset for him bringing up that night but also amazed that he remembered that. With the way his jaw ticked and his hand gripped around his phone, it was clear he thought of that night often. I got drunk after a show because the guy I'd been talking to all night and flirting with was actually married. His wife was the reason why he was at the show in the first place but decided to hang out at the merch booth instead.

"Is that why you're such a dick to me?" I wondered.

Thankfully, the server had left, so they didn't have to watch us bicker but for the rest of the guys at the table, it didn't save them.

"You guys get drunk all the time. The one night I did, you hold it against me? For what?" I snapped.

I wasn't yelling but the table next to us spared us a few glances of concern.

"We don't need someone to carry us from the venue to the hotel, three blocks," Noah finally met my gaze.

I scoffed, completely baffled this was why he was such an asshole towards me. Because I got drunk last tour and he had to carry me back to the hotel?

"You're fucking unbelievable, Noah." I shook my head and turned away from him.

If I wasn't starving, I would head back to the hotel. But I already ordered and didn't want my food to go to waste.

Folio, who was sitting on my other side, looked at me with sympathetic eyes and gave my knee a squeeze underneath the table. The rest of dinner passed by with Noah and I not speaking another word to each other while the others chatted amongst themselves. I ate my food and sipped at my water in peace, checking my phone every now and then to see if Lana had texted me back. It was almost eight in the evening, and I debated on wondering if it was too late to call to talk to my mom when my phone rang.

Excusing myself from the table, I walked down the block to answer the call. It was a fast phone call, my mom being too exhausted to talk. Instead, I caught up with Lana.

"Alright, well let me know how she is in the morning. I'll be in the bus for half of the day so I can talk with her," I sighed.

"I will, dear. She's so exhausted from today. I looked through some photo albums with her to help her remember but nothing. There was nothing in her eyes."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded even though Lana couldn't see.

"Yeah, those vacant eyes. It's been happening a lot lately."

There was a lot of rustling on Lana's end before her soft voice came through. "I promise you. She's in good hands. When she remembers things, we have a lot in common."

That made me smile.

"Good. And I'll send you the first payment tomorrow," I said much to my dismay.

"No rush, dear."

We talked for a few more minutes before I hung up, suddenly exhausted and wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed for the rest of the night. When I returned to the table, I halted seeing that only Noah sat there. He heard me walk up and handed me my to go box of leftover food.

"The bill's been taking care of," he said.

I didn't meet his gaze, still upset with him, as I snatched the box out of his hand.

"Don't worry, I didn't flirt with anyone to get free food."

Noah sighed then pushed himself out of his chair, immediately towering over me.

"Do you always have to talk with such an attitude," he gritted out through clenched teeth.

I stood toe to toe with him. "Only for you, baby."

The pet name was supposed to come out as playful, no meaning behind it. But with the way Noah's eyes flashed and a low noise vibrated from his throat, I knew it had the opposite effect on him. His tongue rolled over his bottom lip and I wanted nothing more that to taste them.

"Can I walk you back to the hotel?" Noah asked.

Unbelievable.

"Oh, now that no one is around you act like you give a shit?" I snarled.

He raised his hands. "I'm trying to be nice, Y/N."

"Here's a piece of advice," I snatched my purse from the table, "If you want to be nice to me, stop doing it when we're alone. It makes me think you're embarrassed to be seen with me."

Noah's face fell and began shaking his head. "It's not that."

"Oh, right? It was because of that night in Chicago where you had to carry me back to the hotel. News flash, Noah. I didn't fucking ask you too. So do me a favor, unless it deals with work, don't talk to me the rest of the time were on tour."

Not bothering to listen to him come up with another excuse, I turned on my heels and stomped back towards the hotel.