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playstation-dreamcast · 5 months ago

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This came to me in a dream. Anyway:

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Choose Your Character: Albert Wesker

Summary: For the sake of the mission, Albert Wesker is willing to do just about anything within reason to gain the trust of his S.T.A.R.S members. Apparently, building a snowman with his favorite new rookie is within reason.

Tags: Fluff, S.T.A.R.S Wesker, Nicotine use, Crack treated so serious none of my beta readers thought it was crack, Noncanon compliant RPD, Gender Neutral Reader.

Word count: 3k

It all started with that stupid fucking snowman.

A childish game he played to indulge his subordinate and gain their trust late one night after the S.T.A.R.S office had closed. He knew better even then, that it was an absolute waste of time. But, he complied, because it was you who asked.

Okay, maybe it didn't start with The Snowman. Maybe it started with the cigarette you shared. Sitting on the snow covered sidewalk, passing the smoke between the two of you while you talked. It came so easy to him, just talking with you. It was never that easy with anyone else.

He could still smell the smoke when he closed his eyes. He could see the snow caught in your lashes, and the fog of your breath. He could still feel how tight his chest got, and the roller coaster feeling of his stomach dropping when he finally had to admit to himself that he was sweet on you. And that he couldn’t keep lying to himself about it.

And you had no idea. You smiled like it was any other night.

"Hey, can I bum a cigarette off you?" You asked him that at least twice a week since you started working as a member of S.T.A.R.S. It got to the point that he started to plan for it. Sadly, he was late to work this morning and didn't have time to buy another pack.

"Sure," he said, simply handing you the one he had just lit. You took it gratefully and smiled.

"Thanks Captain, you save me once again," you teased as you sat down next to him, taking a drag off the smoke. "You gonna light one?"

"That was my last one," he confessed with a shrug; chin resting in his hand, elbow resting on his knee. He thought about leaving, it wasn’t like he had anything left to do here. But he stayed anyway. He’d regret it later.

"What? Then why'd you give it to me dude?" you scoffed.

He looked at you out of the corners of narrowed eyes. "Don't call me 'dude,'" he, half-heartedly at best, reprimanded as you rolled your eyes, "and because you asked for it. As your captain it's my job to take care of you." He didn't mean for it to come out like that, but he wasn't going to backtrack now and make it weird.

"Ah yes, taking care of me by giving me cancer. Truly, so selfless of you." You giggled as you handed him the smoke.

He took it without thinking, easily taking a puff off it. "If I was worried about that, I'd have to fight a losing war with half the team- myself included." He took another drag to prove his point, "I like to think I pick my battles more wisely than that."

You hummed as you nodded, taking the cigarette back and putting it to your lips. You huddled closer to your captain, watching the snow fall and seeking his warmth in the cold. "It's pretty out." You smiled.

"It's nothing we don't see every winter." He took the smoke back.

You playfully pushed him, "Oh sorry Oscar didn't realize you fell out of your can."

"I have literally no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm calling you a grouch, Wesker." He nodded in acknowledgement of your clarification, and didn't try to argue. Just took a particularly long drag and handed the cigarette back to you.

You took your turn with it and continued. "You gotta be able to still see the beauty in the small things, and the wonder in the world. Or else you just become old and bitter, and nobody wants that." He didn't have the heart to tell you he was already there.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, watching as new snow covered the old. It had become a ritual between the two of you – one Wesker had grown quite fond of. Every night when the two of you closed the S.T.A.R.S office together, you took the time to share a smoke break before going your separate ways for the night.

Wekser looked forward to them more than he cared to admit. At first it was just another thing he did to ensure all members of S.T.A.R.S trusted him. Fifteen minutes at the end of a shift was a small price to pay for the confidence of his team, and as long as they had confidence in him they wouldn’t doubt him.

He wasn’t quite sure when he started looking forward to your quiet conversations, just like he wasn’t really sure when he started buying two packs of cigarettes to accommodate them. Or how he wasn’t sure when he started looking for little excuses throughout the day to touch you, to talk to you, to have your attention. At some point you had wormed your way into his mind and made your home there. He would have resented you for it if he could find it in him to do so.

He almost jumped when you finally broke the silence. "You know, when I was a kid, my dad would always let me stay home for the first snow of the season- didn't matter if school was canceled or not."

Wekser took the cigarette from your hand. "Sounds like irresponsible parenting to me, keeping a child from their education." He finally killed the smoke, flicking it off into the abyss.

"Maybe!" you admitted, "but, those days were important to me. We'd always go out and make a giant snowman – as big as we could – and try to keep him alive for the season." You smiled at your warm childhood memories. "It was fun."

"I've never built a snowman before." Wesker confessed. He wasn't sure why he did, it's not like you were asking. It just fell out of him. You had a way of pulling things out of him without even trying, something he should have been more wary about than he was- all things considered.

You looked at him shocked. "What?! No way! Not even when you were a little kid?"

He looked back at you and shook his head, "The boys home where I grew up had no time for such frivolous things. As long as the power was on, we were in school. And on the rare occasions it was knocked out, well. We had other priorities." It felt so natural, being so open with you. Maybe it was because you were always so open with him. Or maybe you were one of the few people that treated him like a person with vulnerabilities. It used to scare him, on some deeper level. It still did in a lot of ways.

Lately though, he's just grateful to have someone other than Birkin to talk to. "Captain, that's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. That's like, a super villain's backstory."

He finally turned his head to you. "What? Not being able to build a snowman?" He scoffed. You were blowing this out of proportion.

"Being a child and not being allowed to play," you clarified. Oh. He had never thought of it that way. It's not that you were wrong, he wasn’t allowed to play as a child – not really. It's just… he never really took the time to think about his childhood. He didn't like the feeling it gave him.

So he shrugged again, brushing off the memories before they had a chance to linger. "The past is the past. There's no use dwelling on it."

"Fuck that, come on!" You grabbed his hand and pulled him off the steps. He didn't even have time to fully comprehend just what was happening before you pulled him to the patch of grass the RPD called a lawn. "We're building a snowman.”

He huffed out a sorry excuse for a laugh and rolled his eyes. “You can’t be serious Rookie,” He said as he watched you gather the starting snowball.

“As serious as a heart attack, Captain,” you said, handing him the growing ball, “And I’m not a rookie anymore, I’ve been with S.T.A.R.S for six months now!”

He fought a small smile back at your insistence that you were – in fact – a highly trained soldier after a mere six months. “That’s still rookie status, dear.” The pet name came out so easily he hardly registered it, but you clearly did. He could tell by how you froze, your eyes widening ever so slightly. He needed a distraction. He held up the snowball, “And what do you want me to do with this?”

You relaxed as you remembered the task at hand. “Roll it around in the snow, I’m working on the base, so you work on the middle.”

He made no move to hide his annoyance. “This is ridiculous, I want you to know this.”

“Then go home,” you shrugged. “No one’s keeping you here by force, no ones putting a gun to your head. If you don’t wanna help, you're free to go.” You acted so unbothered when you said it, focusing on growing the snowman's base. It hit a nerve in his heart he didn’t even know he had. You made it so blatantly clear that you didn’t need him there. Suddenly, the only thing he could think about was proving to you that you did need him there.

He started wordlessly working on the middle of the snowman, trying to focus on the smile on your face and not on how ridiculous he surely looked. “That should be good,” you said, pointing to the ball he was working on. “Go ahead and put it on the base.”

He took a second to look at the base you’d made, and the progress he made on the middle part, then got right back to adding snow. “No.”

“No, what do you mean no?” you scoffed, trying to sound offended but failing to hide your giggle.

He easily hid his smile. “It’s still too small. It would look awkward on the base, and even more so once we add the head. It needs more snow.”

“Weren’t you the one calling this all a waste of time?” you teased as you started the head.

Without missing a beat he looked at you, “It is. I stand by that. But if you’re going to do something, you might as well do it right.” Finally, he was satisfied with the ball of snow he’d been put in charge of, and carefully placed it on the base.

You giggled softly, “That’s such a dad thing to say.”

“It’s just how things should be done.” He shrugged, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth putting the effort into doing it right.”

“So you admit this is worth doing?”

“What? I didn’t say that.”

“But ya kinda did,” you pointed out. “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. And you’re trying to build this snowman right, so therefore – it’s worth doing.”

Wesker took the time to think of his next words carefully. He couldn’t just say outright it was worth doing because it made you happy. Because these small moments of connection built a trust between you. One he would inevitably betray one day.

There was that horrible tight feeling in his chest again. The one he only got when he thought about how he would have to hurt you in the future. He pressed forward, “Somethings, as frivolous as they are, can be worth doing for the greater impact they have.” You nodded sagely at his words, as if you understood perfectly. Which, was genuinely shocking because even he wasn’t entirely sure what the fuck he just said.

Finally, you put the head on the snowman. “Well! What do you think?” You smiled, making passionate jazz hands at the snowy creation the two of you had made.

He cocked his head to the side. “Something’s missing.”

You nodded. “Yeah, we’re missing a face.”

“What do you normally use for a face?”

You shrugged, “Traditionally, kids used coal and a carrot for the face. Sticks for the arms, maybe a scarf, you get it. You’ve seen Frosty the Snowman.”

He hadn’t, but that was a battle for a different day. “Seems like a waste of a carrot. And we don’t have any coal.”

You nodded again. “Yeah, sadly. Guess our little guy will just have to remain faceless.”

No, that wasn’t good enough. Not for Wesker. If he was going to make anything, it was going to be perfect. He’d accept nothing less. He quickly looked around, searching for a suitable substitute for coal. He quickly spotted what the RPD once called a garden that was now mostly filled with snow covered rocks and made his way there. You picked up on his thought process and went to go pull sticks off of a nearby tree for the arms.

“Hey, I found a pine cone!” You called to him as you returned.

“Excellent, we’ll use it for the nose.” He replied as you reconvened at the snowman. The two of you argued briefly about the facial expression – you insisting the snowman should be happy and him arguing it should be miserable because who wouldn’t be miserable stuck out in the snow? You countered with a snowman wouldn’t, because he’s literally made of snow and probably can’t feel cold. You won the argument. This time.

You assembled the final touches together, then stepped back to look at your handiwork. He smiled smugly, placing his hand on your lower back to hold you closer. “Not bad for a rookie.” He said, looking at you.

You smiled back at him. “Not at all,” you said as you rested your head on his shoulder. It was the closest the two of you had ever been to each other at that point. And the closest Wesker had been to anyone in a long time. It should have felt wrong, the way it tended to when he made contact with others. Instead, it felt comfortable. Natural. Like you were always meant to be right there on his shoulder.

He looked down at you resting on him. At your snow bitten cheeks and soft, content smile. You weren’t scared, or even nervous. You weren't going out of your way to impress him, or try to demean him for an ego boost. You weren’t looking at him with unrealistic expectations he’d still manage to reach, only to remain unsatisfied with him. You were just there. Content, and smiling in his arms, happy to be with him.

You looked ethereal in the soft moonlight, the streetlights of the city encasing you in a halo. He was suddenly overtaken with the overwhelming desire to kiss you. To take you home and hold you forever. And met with the blood cooling realization that he was more than just attached to you. He was… infatuated with you. He refused to use the L word for this.

He couldn’t do that to himself. He moved away from you, a sudden movement that caught your attention. His heart sank looking at your wide questioning eyes. “Thank you, for the experience Soldier.”

You smirked, noting that he didn’t call you rookie. “Thank you for indulging me Captain.”

He nodded and patted your shoulder. “It’s late. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“Bright and early,” you confirmed. The two of you lingered for a second longer, the cold silence loud with everything the two of you wanted to say. He slowly slid his hand off your shoulder, and the two of you went your separate ways.

He spiraled for a good two hours when he got home. He couldn’t stop thinking about you. How natural it was to talk to you, how nice you felt in his arms, how breathtaking you looked even covered in snow. He dreamt of you that night, and when he woke up he could still feel the warmth of your lips pressed against his. He had to take a cold shower to get his head together.

He had never felt like this before. His entire life he was too focused on other things for crushes. On being the best student, on graduating early and getting his doctorate, on researching the virus, on surviving. He’d had lovers, sure. But he never felt anything for them, aside from sometimes lust. He never felt tight in his chest, he never dreamed of them, never in a hundred years would have entertained the thought of building a fucking snowman with them.

What the hell did you do to him?

He spent the next eight months obsessing over you. Meticulously observing you like he would any other specimen. He found out how you managed your workflow, the gun you preferred to use at target practice, who you got along with at the RPD and who you only tolerated, how you took your coffee in the morning.

He noticed all the small details. He noticed the way you chewed on your lower lip when concentrating, what kind of jokes made you laugh the loudest, the way your eyes crinkled when you were genuinely smiling. He noticed that you didn’t brush his hand away when he rested it on you, unlike how you did when Brad did the same thing. How you also went out of your way to be around him, and that you were always the first to act when he gave an order.

He knew he shouldn’t do this to himself. He knew that he should have taken a massive step back and kept your relationship strictly professional. No more late night smoke breaks, or easy conversations in the break room. If he really wanted to do himself a favor he should have found a reason to fire you, or at least have you removed from the S.T.A.R.S team.

He never tried to do any of that, because for the first time in his life he was scared he wouldn’t be able to do something. And where did that get him?

Here. Staring at the sinking ship that was Umbrella, and knowing he needed to get off before he was dragged down with it. He needed to send the S.T.A.R.S team to the Spencer Mansion to get the combat data he needed so he could do just that. The issue was, that meant the team was probably going to die. A sacrifice he thought he was willing to make. And he was, before you happened. Now the thought of sending you into that made his jaw clench. As brilliant as he was, he couldn’t think of a way to keep you out of the situation.

Send you home? That would never work, Bravo team was in danger. You would never just sit idly at home while your team was in trouble – an annoyingly admirable trait of yours. Order you to keep watch at the office? Nope, that wouldn’t work either. That would be the first place Umbrella went when they realized he had gone rogue. So where did that leave him?

Sending you into the mansion. But, maybe you didn’t have to die. You were just as capable as any other member of the team- if not more. As long as he could keep you alive until it was time for the mansion to go up in smoke, he knew he could get you out of there- and come out looking like the hero in the process.

He didn’t have time to come up with a definitive plan, this was going to have to do. As unorganized as it was, he was confident it would work. It had to work.

He didn’t know what he’d do if it didn’t.

#albert wesker #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker fluff #wesker x reader #wesker x reader fluff #resident evil #resident evil fluff #I want him in the way that I want to give him the love and tenderness he was robbed of as a child

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crowsofdarkness · 2 months ago

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Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Nineteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066 @nameless-ken @minami97

I walked into the building, smiling bright as the morning sun, ready to finish this work day already. After he left last night, Bucky promised that when he would come by tonight, he would stay the night. He had planned on telling Natasha that he had to go out of town for something mob related.

There was already a list of things I had planned; dinner at home, a movie cuddled together on my couch, and a warm bath to end the night. It was something that we had yet to do, a proper at home date.

My body jumped with excitement every time I thought about it.

A frown pulled at my lips when I noticed that Bucky’s door had been closed. He didn’t have any meetings planned so there was no need for it to be shut. Bucky also always took his phone calls with the door opened.

I placed my things on my desk and softly knocked on the door, only to be met with silence. The thought of if he was coming in today or not crossed my mind so I sent him a quick text.

Are you not coming in today?

Some time would pass before I would even get a response. Three hours to be exact.

By the time Bucky had decided to text back, it was nearing lunch hour and I was busying myself to run to the deli across the road to pick us all up something. Steve and Sam were playing a card game on the couch that sat across from my desk and Steve noticed the worried look on my face.

“Everything alright?”

By the mere tone in his voice, I could tell that the relationship we shared was not the same anymore.

“Yeah,” I mumbled, not bothering to take my eyes away from the text on my phone.

I’m held up in my office all day, sorry.

It was short, to the point. No sweet names or cringey emojis that Bucky had just found out of. This wasn’t like him, something being different; off.

Steve stood to walk over to me. “Bucky?”

I peered over his shoulder to make sure Sam wasn't paying attention and nodded.

“Have you talked to him at all? I feel as if he’s avoiding me,” I said.

He hesitated, unsure if he should even say anything. I could see it in the way he avoided my gaze, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Steve was hiding something from me.

“What do you know?” I asked.

“I can’t be the one to tell you, Y/N. Bucky has too.”

With a gentle squeeze on my shoulder, he went back to his previous spot on the couch.

I gnawed on my bottom lip while gazing at the still shut door to Bucky’s office and decided to give it one more try, seeing if he would talk to me.

“Bucky, can I come in?” I asked after my knuckles tapped against the door.

There was quite a bit of shuffling behind it and my heart hammered when the door opened, revealing a very stressed Bucky.

My voice lowered. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “I’m going to skip lunch today.”

The door shut just as fast as it opened and I was left staring at it, tears brimming in my eyes.

“Y/N,” Steve’s soft voice called from behind me.

I blinked a few times, tears splattering over my cheeks, and quickly grabbed my things to head to lunch.

I don’t know what I did to make you so upset with me but I don’t appreciate the cold shoulder all day. I’m about to leave for the day and you’ve barely come out of your office.

I hit send on the text while walking back to my desk from the bathroom. The day went on at a slow pace, my eyes darting from my computer to Bucky’s still shut door, not once seeing him come out of his office. That was the third text I sent him all day and with yet no response, I decided that tonight was officially off the table. He would not be rewarded with spending the night with me after ghosting me all day.

As I returned back to my desk, I noticed that the door was wide open, and my feet practically dragged me across the threshold. Until I stopped myself when I saw that he made no effort to look away from his phone when he heard me walk up. Not even a quick glance my way.

“Asshole,” I grumbled, plopping into my chair.

Six minutes. That’s all I had left of my work day and I could go home to wallow in self pity in private.

I used that time to scroll through Instagram, not having the chance to be on it all day. My thumb froze over one post, almost unsure to like it or not, because everything around me faded to black. Ears rang loudly with white noise and my heart dropped to the depths of my stomach as it shattered. The pain caused a sob to leave my lips.

Cannot wait to meet you baby Barnes. Coming in six months.

My vision blurred from the tears that spilled everywhere but I still could see the picture Natasha had posted announcing her pregnancy. It was a picture of a positive pregnancy test with her and Bucky’s vibranium hand holding it.

With a broken gaze, I looked over to him and was shocked that Bucky was already watching me. His own eyes were broken, tears pooling in the corners of them.

“I’m so sorry, doll,” he mouthed.

No words were able to form, my mouth had run dry. I didn’t know what to say, to be honest. All I could do was gather my things and storm out of the office, the door slamming behind me shaking the walls.

The persistent knocking on my front door was becoming too hard to ignore, it going on for the last five minutes. In tangent with my phone ringing, not stopping for a second. I did my best to tune it all out, staring off into the void of my living room wall, wishing it would stop; wishing everything would stop.

“Doll, please open up.”

“Go away,” I yelled, the anger suddenly bubbling to life.

“Please let me explain!”

I scoffed while shaking my head, even if Bucky couldn’t see. “Explain?!”

Everything I had been avoiding came rushing to the forefront when I heard him begging me to let him in, to explain his actions.

My feet dragged me to the door and I opened it with such force, it created a small wind tunnel. Bucky didn’t bother waiting for me to let him in, he pushed himself past me.

“I’m so sorr-.”

His apology was cut off by a hard slap to his face, my palm already stung with redness.

Bucky rubbed at the raw spot where I had hit him and his jaw tensed. “You hit me.”

“Trust me, I want to do a lot more!” I seethed.

“Can you calm down so I can explain?” He begged.

“Calm down?!” My voice bellowed. “You get your wife pregnant, hide it from me, then come here to explain yourself? How the fuck can I calm down?!”

My shoulder rammed into his as I walked past him and down the hall towards my bedroom. His footsteps that echoed down the hall told me that he was following me close behind.

“I wanted to tell you, Y/N. All day I tried to come up with the best way,” Bucky said.

I spun on my heels and pushed him hard in his chest, my actions doing nothing to deter him.

“Fuck you, Barnes! You’re such a liar!”

I began beating his chest with my fist, pure hatred fueling my momentum. And he stood there, taking every hit.

Out of breath, I let my fists fall to my side, and felt my chest rise and fall each time I swallowed a large amount of air.

“Feel better?” Bucky asked.

My eyes narrowed. “Go fuck yourself. I never want to see you again.”

His shoulders dropped. “You don’t mean that.”

I nodded, even if I didn’t believe it myself. “Get out.”

Bucky didn’t move so I pushed him harder in his chest. “Leave. Now!”

“Doll-.”

I smacked him yet again, this time with so much force he stumbled back onto my bed.

“You lost the right to call me that, Bucky! I can’t believe I fell for your lies again.”

I ran a shaking hand through my hair. “I allowed myself to ignore the red flags because I cared that much for you. I believed that you wanted me, wanted a future with me. I bet the divorce was a lie too.”

Bucky vigorously shook his head. “I promise you. That was all true. Matt finished the papers this afternoon.”

“When did it happen?” I abruptly asked.

He hesitated, unsure how to answer. “A few months ago. It was the night I drove you home from work and we had sex in the back seat.”

If my heart wasn’t in a million pieces before, it for sure was now.

“You’re such a dick!” I screamed while pushing him down on my bed. “I knew you were still screwing her.”

Bucky leaned his elbows onto his knees and held his head in his hands. “You don’t understand how terrible I feel, Y/N. I wish I could take it back.”

I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand. “Are you still leaving her?”

He gazed up at me, lips parting and eyes welling with tears. “I can’t. She’s having my child.”

My eyes shut, his words giving me exactly what I needed to end this.

I pointed towards the door. “We’re finished, Bucky. You need to leave.”

He was fast on his feet to reach for me. “No, this doesn’t have to end.”

“Yes it does!” I wailed. “It’s one thing to break up a marriage but I refuse to break up a family.”

Both of us were crying, not bothering to stop or hide the tears, and Bucky wanted to reach for me, fight for me, but knew that there was no changing my mind.

“What about work?” He asked with a glimmer of hope.

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. “I can’t afford to quit. So I’ll see you next week. I need to take some time off.”

Bucky nodded. “I didn’t want to hurt you, doll.”

I grabbed my elbows, bringing my arms closer to my chest and avoiding his gaze, keeping my eyes trained to my feet. The only thing I could hear over his footsteps walking away from me was my broken cries, my body collapsing to the ground.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes and reader #sebastian stan #bucky barnes and reader #mob!bucky barnes x yn #mob!bucky barnes reader insert #mob!bucky barnes and yn #moment of weakness bucky barnes

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xreaderanonaccount · 1 year ago

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Capitano x Worried!Reader

Synopisis: Gruff, strong, and stone cold Capitano with a worried s/o. Reader is G/N

Tags: Fluff, Dottore being an ass,

Divider credits: cafekitsune

Capitano with a worried s/o who is always scolding him for always getting hurt, but no matter how much scolding he gets he can rely on you and only you to patch him back up. Cause he doesn’t want the medics to patch him up, they’re scared shitless of him. But you, you patch him up with the utmost care and love that anyone envy’s for. He’ll gladly sit down and listen to you scold him over how he shouldn’t take 3 squads of ruins guards on his own. If it only meant he can have your hands on him. Your soft hands on him. Oh how he’ll melt in them, you have this man wrapped around your finger.

“You have to be careful next time!” Your worried voice echos the shared chamber in the Zapolyarny palace. Capitano could only chuckle as he leaned back playfully crushing you beneath his weight. You yelled in frustration as you tried your best to push Capitano away but no luck. This man was heavy.

“I promise to be careful next time.” He sighed as you got off of you settling back down on the edge of the bed. Letting you continue stitching the open wound on his shoulder. You huffed as you took the needle through his skin sewing the wound shut.

“You better be, if not I’ll have to go to the doctor and ask him to revive you myself.” You pouted as you tied the stitch close.

“Don’t go to the doctor.” Capitano’s voice suddenly became stern, you knew better to mention the doctor. Capitano doesn’t trust him at all, not even with a pillow. He’ll somehow turn that pillow into a killing machine…

“I know, I won’t” You softly smiled as you planted a kiss on his now clean and stitched wound.

Capitano is very protective over you, especially that one time Dottore decided to pull a cruel prank by giving you a fake report on how Capitano was severely injured and he might not make it. You had a full blown breakdown worried about your poor lover. When Capitano came back to the Zapolyarny Palace so many fatui scouts came running to him rushing him to their shared quarters.

You straight up built a memorial for him, with your closest attendant by your side who is trying to comfort you. As soon as your attendant noticed Capitano he quickly rushed him to you pleading with him to comfort you. Capitano wrapped his big overcoat over you and gave you a tight hug. You were shocked only for a little bit before you threw yourself onto him crying your poor eyes out in Capitano’s arms.Capitano would gently ask you what happened and through your tears you would tell him what happened. He swears he’s going to kill Dottore the next time he sees him.

The minute Capitano walked into the Zapolyarny Palace he was bombarded by his men. All talking over themselves, he has no idea what is happening but the minute one of them mentioned your name he sternly asked what happened. One of them finally explained that you said that he had died. Capitano could feel a blood vein pop as he hurriedly went to the shared chamber. When he entered he spotted your sniffling form over a picture of you and him when you visited Mondstadt that one time. Your closest attendant was comforting you as you continued your obituary. Capitano softly closed the door trying not to gain attention from you, but alas he was caught as your attendant looked up and spotted him awkwardly standing near the door. The attendant rushed him over to you who was still crying your poor heart out. Capitano stared down on your crying form, he wanted to rip his heart out and offer it to you as an apology. But he knew that you would be angry about that. Capitano heaved an internal sigh as he removed his heavy outer jacket, draping it over your shoulders. You jolted in surprise, you whipped around to see Capitano kneeling down to you. You shouted his name as you threw yourself on him crying your poor heart out in his arms. Thanking the Tsaritsa over and over again for bringing him home safe and sound. Capitano soothes you, rubbing small circles on your back.

“What happened my love?” He asked, his voice bringing so much comfort to you.

“D-dottore, s-said that you were… were” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before bursting into tears. But you didn’t need to say anything more. He already knew what happened, Dottore pulling one of his cruel experiments on you. When he explicitly told Dottore not to do his little “experiments” on you. He’ll have to do a very very stern talking to Dottore. Not like he’ll listen anyway.

Capitano is a strong and tough man but he has a very very soft spot for you. Imagine this, the strongest man in teyvat holding a small flower in his hand because you found one growing outside the palace. And since flowers are hard to grow in Snezhnaya you decided to give this precious flower to someone precious to you.

“What do you have there Lord Capitano?” Childe asked, Capitano held a small daisy in his hand. His expression is hard to tell.

“A flower.”

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #capitano x reader #fatui harbingers #fatui harbingers x reader

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herefortarlos · 2 months ago

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Favorite 911 Lone Star Fandom Memories 🚒

Thank you @thisbuildinghasfeelings for coming up with this lovely idea and thank you @strandnreyes @nancys-braids @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @she-walked-away @carlossreaders @nisbanisba @tellmegoodbye @heartstringsduet @freneticfloetry @firstprince-history-huh @carlos-in-glasses @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet and @goldenskykaysani for all the tags! I read every single one of you favorite moments/memories and they made me emotional and so happy and grateful to know you all and be a part of this fandom! 💖

Anyone who considers themselves a fan of the show, regardless of how engaged with fandom you are, should participate and share if you want!

rules here

Oh, where to begin?!? I am still in denial that it's coming to an end this Monday 🥲I haven't been thinking about it too much which is also why it took me a bit to write this and think of which fandom memories for me I wanted to highlight. I hope we'll all be there for each other if someone needs a little extra comfort in the days, weeks, months that follow! 💜

All the fanfiction, fanart, gifs, edits, etc. and the friends and good acquaintances made through them!

I will always be grateful to Tarlos and Lone Star because they got me to start regularly reading fics again! I used to have a 2 hour commute into NYC and I would read fanfic while sitting on the trains but doing that for 2 years unfortunately burned me out on fanfic and my previous obsession. From 2020 to late 2022, I didn't read much fic. It wasn't until I found Lone Star through FB clips and TK's iconic, "Sure ma'am but just so you know I am a homosexual", that I had found something new to obsess over and love to this degree! Tarlos and LS also brought me back to Tumblr and into fandom in the first place! After I binge watched the show up to season 3, I needed more Tarlos and so I looked through ao3 and started with tarlos fics by @rmd-writes! I saw Rae was on Tumblr and remembered that was where I used to always find fic writers to follow! So I made a new account specifically for the fandom, hello here for Tarlos 😂, and truly engaged in a fandom for the first time! I got to watch all of Season 4 live which was great, and loved seeing people's live reactions to everything on here and loved the codas, art and gif sets people made so quickly after the episode had aired!

And then of course I made fandom and lifelong friends! I started engaging in fandom by leaving unhinged and excitable tags on people's fics and works 😅, as I tend to do, and slowly started becoming mutuals with people! And then @heartstringsduet really opened me up by dming and thanking me for my tags on a fic of hers, and the rest is history 🥹. Michelle really helped me to feel open and comfortable on here and I decided to share my name with people and now I have friends that I know I'll keep in contact with despite the show ending! Some of the most kind, creative, talented, accepting and welcoming people are in this fandom and I am beyond grateful to Lone Star for introducing us! ❤️

The lead up to the Tarlos wedding!

Gahhhh, all the bts we got, and the press tour Ronen and Rafael went on and that Hello! photo shoot, pretty sure my heart stopped when we got those pictures, not to mention the 2 episode Season 4 finale! Now that was a time to be alive! It was treated like such a real wedding and there was so much amazing promotion and was definitely wedding of the year for me!

Discovering I was pansexual and being more open with my sexuality IRL!

I always knew I was queer back in college, although parts of high school definitely make more sense when I stopped to think about them 😂. But because I was in a straight presenting relationship, I never thought to be more open with my queerness? Sure I had those few friends that knew and that I could feel comfortable with, and I had 1 good fellow queer friend at the time to confide in, but I guess I was still learning things about myself and how much of me I wanted people to know? Anyways, Brian Michael Smith and Ronen's coming out story helped me to identify myself and encouraged me to be my authentic self with people! I got my first pride flag because of Lone Star, that I will continue to display outside my house to show that this is a safe place for people that need that, and have met so many diverse and other LGBTQ+ individuals because of it! And also because of that, a good irl friend of mine came out as trans to me first because she felt safe with me! So yeah, a lot of good things to thank a show like 911 Lone Star for 💗.

Finally, becoming a beta reader!

I have been so lucky and have the most fun having been a beta reader for many talented writers in this fandom! Getting to see and help people with their works before they're published, seeing lines and dialogue that I suggested go into the final fic! Without a doubt one of the best things this fandom has given me, along with the many friendships that started because of it! 💖

An OPEN and zero pressure tag for a few people that I don't think have done this yet. @reasonandfaithinharmony @ladytessa74 @carlos-tk @eclectic-sassycoweyes @paperstorm @dear-viv @whatsintheboxmh @alrightbuckaroo @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @emsprovisions @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @goodways @theghostofashton @henrygrass @lemonlyman-dotcom @guardian-angle22

#If you read all of this Damn! And you deserve a prize 😅#desi shares #favorite fandom memories #911 lone star tag game

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mars-writes-yandere · 2 years ago

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Yandere Golden Boys

a/n: im finally making yandere oc’s after scrolling through the tag for HOURS. I have been wanting to do this for a while but after seeing all the amazing oc’s im making them myself

Yandere Golden Boys! who have known each other since they were kids. They’re no stranger to sharing so why would a partner be any different?

The persistent flirt, Luka,who always gets what he wants. When he sets his eyes on something and wants it, hes going to get it. His curly blonde hair and deep blue eyes add to the charm. He's known for sleeping around and using women like tissues.

The friendly jock, Mae , who never fails to put a smile on someone's face. Constantly smiling, the chestnut haired boy is always helping people out. Star student, perfect attendance, and great football player. Everyone loves him.

The prick of a student council president, Eden, is always making people’s day worse. He has a grudge against anyone that doesn’t doesn't follow the rules, including teachers. Due to his high standing he has the power to makes someone's life miserable and trust me he will

All three boys just seem to always be together which is how they met you. You were at the mall alone. It was a rare occurance to be out alone but you only needed a couple things. You too were busy putting your wallet back in your bag, You didn't notice you were going to walk right into a group of boys. Hitting your head on one of their backs you groan slightly and rub your head before looking up at who you bumped into. It was a talk man, probably 6’5. He smiled down at you in concern “Are you okay?” he asks. He can barely get the words out though as his heart hammers in his chest. You looked adorable looking up at him with your doe eyes and crinckled nose! A blonde boy peeked over the other boy's shoulder and smirked seeing you. You gave him a polite smile as you went to pick up your discarded bag. The blond beat you to it though, quickly picking up the bag before you. He handed it to you with a wink. A boy with combed black hair watched the scene in interest. You seemed polite and mae seemed to already have taken a liking to you.

The Three boys introduced themselves to you as Luka, Mae and Eden. After you told them your name they watched as Mae took out his phone and was already searching your name on instagram.

As College Sophomores the boys don't need to live in the dorms so they opt to share an apartment. The three boys spend all night stalking your socials, learning about your likes, dislikes, who you are close to and who they need to look out for. These three will find a way to worm into your life. You'll suddenly see them everywhere. Soon you exchange phone numbers and start to hang out casually. Casually will turn into every week and every week will turn into every day.

Mae is like a puppy when he's with you. He's kind to everyone, yes but he worships you. You're his everything and he will do everything to make sure you know it.

Luka is still flirty but he means what he says. When he calls you beautiful and holds your hand he means it. He teases you whenever you get flustered but he thinks its the most adorable thing ever

Eden is softer for you. He's not great at verbal affection like the other two so he tends to be more physical, Possessive hugs and hand holding, desperate and obsessive kisses ect. He loves to see you cry though. It doesn’t have to be out of pain, he doesn't necessarily like to see you in pain but he thinks your tear stricken cheeks and soft whimpers are adorable. God forbid anyone else makes you cry though. He is not afraid to get his hands dirty.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #Golden Boys 🌟#🌟Mae L.#🌟Eden S.#🌟Luka B.

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sshushayla · 8 months ago

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im just a girl.

aurélien tchouaméni x fem!reader. Fluff. when you are just a girl and he is aurélien tchouaméni, things like this will happen.

It is your sixth week as Aurélien's PR assistant, and you sat down on your rolling chair turning yourself round and round in your small cabinet, thinking and reflecting on all those nights you worked your ass off for your resume, going to endless interviews, just trying to hold onto one strong point as your feet ached to run to your manager and throw your resignation letter.

Aurélien was almost insufferable, he was one step away from giving you a heart attack. Every time your phone pinged in high-pitch, your heart would beat faster on what kind of mess he had created for you to clean.

Not that he does much around but when he does, it is a war out there for you. His spectrum fascinates you, the range goes from simple thirst traps in his Instagram stories to disclosing his actual secret campaign he did with Calvin Klein.

Yet he kept yapping and opening his mouth about the campaign again after you cleaned up his mess in his Instagram live, you almost cried out blood as your manager invested their entire being on screaming at you when your manager could handle Aurélien.

You held onto the handle of the gym door, your lips tight with a smile. Mentally preparing for a brief talk about his unprofessionalism or a hideous murder that was about to take place; his or yours, time would tell. You swung the door open just for you to shut it, your whole back pressed against the door.

This guy is almost naked, with his shorts hanging onto his waist for dear life, and a towel around his neck to clean his dripping sweat. Now, you are annoyed with him yes, of course since it is your work; but you are just a girl. The image of his heavy breathing, his tight core, and his thick thighs were not to be blamed, and nor was it leaving your mind, it never leaves your mind.

Before you pulled yourself up, the door was yanked open for you to squeal as you almost tripped but a gentle hand held onto your waist catching you before you fell.

Your eyes wide open, falling straight to the man who had awoken your need to fuck a priest, or just, well anyone out there. The glistening swear still sliding down his forehead, the hot heat of his determination in the gym greeted you.

"Princess, I would never let you fall." Aurélien's voice filled with amusement. You pulled yourself away from his grip entering the gym without a word shared. You put your laptop and your name tag down on the desk neatly sitting on the spare chair in the gymroom.

"Thank you, but I would rather not call you a prince charming right now." You mumbled for him to hear as he grinned showing off his teeth. You shut your eyes with your head facing down, "You make me want to kill myself." You confessed, shaking your head continuously. He chuckled at your defeat.

Walking toward you, he pulled an extra chair that was next to you; turning around to straddle the chair, Aurélien leaned in closer to see your face. You glanced up to see him already staring at your lifeless face.

The silence was painful, it was not those playful silence where you would playfully glare at the man and ask him to clear up his shit, and he would playfully claim that you would do the job for him.

"It can not be that bad. What did I do?" He nervously chuckled this time, he shrugged his shoulder in confusion. Aurélien had not seen you this tired of his shit, or in a very long time. You sighed, reaching for your laptop as you searched for Twitter.

Whipping the laptop toward Aurélien, you cross your arms as you see his focused face which includes a soft pout formed with his thick lips in concentration and furrowed eyebrows coming together and it only took you a few seconds to think. To reach for his face, or to take the risk of leaning as forward as you possibly can.

Aurélien seems like a such a good k-

"Okay, so I fucked up." He nervously chuckled, again realizing he did fuck up pretty bad for you.

Back to business, business, business.

You snatched your laptop away from his grip to put on the table, turning your body away to find the anger in you, your mind only comprehending just how easily he could bend you over the table, or bend the table; you would not mind any show.

Back to business, business, business.

"This isn't the first time, Aurélien. I had to make you pull out that Andrew Garfield stunt he did for the last Spiderman movie just for you to fuck me over." You expressed your anger with your fingers forcefully pushing his chest. Aurélien sat in silence, hearing you complain and complain about his reputation with the brand; but your words inaudible for the man.

His eyes were very much consumed with the way your lips would touch at certain words, and how his fingers would feel against your tongue, your hot tongue rolling around his fingers like a lollipop.

"I do not even watch Spiderman." He whispered but you bored your eyes at him quickly catching his eyes on your lips. You glanced around the room, not uncomfortable but you just didn't know how much patience you had before you launched yourself at him fully.

"I was not even talking about that, Aurélien. The whole Calvin Klein campaign is a secret, you were not supposed to mention it again in your fucking Instagram." You stood up from the chair, throwing your hand up in frustration, not wanting to look at him for another minute; to keep the job.

The whole situation is absurd, you were fully clothed while he was almost naked. The situation would most likely look crazy for an outsider but this is the form of conversation you have with Aurélien at all times.

You with your full attire while Aurélien with his gym shorts.

"You know, I do not know what game we play with each other." He said, taking you back as you gasped at the closeness with his hot chest hitting your back. Turning around, your eyes leaned up to see Aurélien had his eyes fixated on you.

It was not those mischievous eyes he would give this time. It was hazy nor did he lean down to look at you, he kept his posture composed for you to force yourself to look up.

"This is the game where I tell you about your fuck ups." You mumbled, trying to push Aurélien away but it only invited him to cup your wrist. "Let go, Aurélien." You said firmly, your eyes nervously glancing at the door of the gym. It is a free space anyone would walk in at any given time.

He shook his head. You took a few steps back as it hit the gym mirror. It was a complete defeat from your side, all that self-control aching to be released.

"Do you remember what I asked you last time as well?" He softly asked, his hot breath hitting the shell of your ears, you flinched away.

Why do you act like you don't want me the way I want you?

You cleared your throat, trying to loosen away from his tight grip. "Because it is that simple, I do not want you." You smiled tightly.

Aurélien chuckled, his boyish grin on his face; he shook his head, denying your words. "Stop lying to me. I might be shit at reading the room about anything but you," He said with his same shit-eating grin, "You are too easy to read."

Sighing, you gave up; sliding down on the gym floor with your legs pressed against your chest and your wrist still strongly gripped by Aurélien. He arched down to match your eye level and with his hand, he separated your thighs to create a room for himself.

"What do you want me to do?" You asked, tilting your head to the side; asking Aurélien with your body wanting his heat against yours.

He cupped your cheeks, and with no words said, he leaned in. You slowly closed your eyes to finally feel him but his lips never reached yours, only to hear the same annoying chuckle that had been getting on your nerves today.

You glared at him, making a joke out of you. You tried to remove his hand away from your face. Aurélien cupped your cheeks harder, "Baby, I want you to want me like how badly I want you." He said, his hand lowering down to your shirt to feel your naked skin, his fingers drawing random patterns against your skin as he reached your bra strap unhooking the button.

"Can you do that for me?" He asked.

You nodded your head. Yes, yes you could.

#aurelien tchouameni #aurelien tchouameni scenarios #aurelien tchouaméni x reader #aurelien tchouameni imagines #aurelien tchouameni fic #aurélien tchouaméni #jaehymrkwrites #aurelien tchouameni x reader

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theoneandonlysemla · 2 months ago

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Sujamma Sundas

[This week Sujamma has been brushing up on his literacy. It's hard being a humble Nix-Hound. Reading doesn't come naturally to him, but he's doing his best! This week Sujamma is hoping you will help him learn to read!

Post a favorite scene, favorite sentence, favorite dialogue, favorite anything from any fic you've written! If you haven't written any fic, feel free to share your ideas. If you don't have any, recommend a friend's fic!]

Tagged by @skyrim-forever and @dirty-bosmer! Thank you <3

Tagging: @vanilleeistee @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @elavoria @firefly-factory @hircines-hunter @illumiera @lillxart @ladytanithia @pocket-vvardvark @rakaiawriter @sheirukitriesfandom @thequeenofthewinter

Honestly, I was like "uuuuhhhh, what did I even write in my life" at first but then I remembered that one specific scene in Dealings with Daedra: Boethiah's Wrath that always makes me so happy when people reach it while reading! That's the one.

Nevri and Morotar have been on the road and poor Nevri had to fight her way through a draugr infested nordic ruin. They now have reached an inn, where they stay the night and Nevri helped herself to a bottle of wine. Let's say, the two of them had a not so pleasant conversation and Nevri left, to wash the rest of the draugr blood from her body. [I'd love to put the entire scene here, but that would be like 2,5k words, so take a snippet:]

A knock on the door startled her, interrupting her train of thoughts. She sat up in the tub, one arm covering her breasts and the other grabbing for the hilt of her sword. Her heartrate rose. She was ready to fight, in this case, completely bare.

“Who’s there?” She uttered, feeling that she was no longer master over the movements of her tongue.

Instead of an answer, the door opened. Back through the archway she was able to see it, but the light over on the other side of the room was dim. Too dim to recognize anyone who had entered. Only a tall silhouette. Her heart skipped a beat. What did he want in here?

“What’s the matter?” She prattled, cursing the amount of wine she had drunk.

Still no word, but she heard heavy steps on the stone floor. The figure traversed the archway and light fell on his body. Nevri’s guess was right, the Altmer stood in front of the bath. The sword still in hand, she let herself sink in a little deeper, her black hair floated around her body. Automatically she crossed her legs and shifted a bit to the side, turning in the tub. Expectantly she stared at the High Elf.

“What is the matter?” She repeated her question, this time slow, to not make it too obvious that she was drunk.

He did not wear his armour anymore, only the boots were a reminder of it. He looked over her and Nevri would have liked to vanish. She did not know, how much of her naked body he was able to see, but every little part of her bare, gray skin was too much.

“As you have been gone for quite a while, I found myself in the responsibility to check on you.”

“Check on me?” She repeated. “Why would you?”

“You are the one who pays me. It would be quite inauspicious if you were to drown drunken in a tub.” He sounded reproachful.

“Canmal pays you, not me. So, you can let me drown in peace,” Nevri answered and let the blade fall out of her hand.

Coin was the only reason, he cared about her wellbeing. She knew that, but it still stung. Without giving him any further looks, she let herself sink under the water. She held her breath, eyes open. And she counted. One, two, three… Hopefully he would be gone soon. Thirty-six, thirty-seven, thirty-eight… She could not hear any steps, but the water around her ears may deadened the sound. Sixty-four, Sixty- She had to resurface. With her hair sticking to her face, she emerged from the water. She rubbed it out of her face and to her surprise, Morotar still stood next to her.

“You have checked on me. I am fine. You can leave,” she nagged.

Instead of leaving he held a towel in her direction. Reluctantly she took it, giving him a confused look.

“Out,” he said in his most strict voice. “Now.”

“No?” She answered, but being very unsure of her response.

He made a big step closer to the tub, now standing directly in front of it. Looking down on her, his blue eyes fixated her. His expression was unreadable, frozen in place. Nevri pulled her legs closer to her body, clutching the towel in front of her. She felt her heartbeat fasten even more; shivers of excitement rushed through her. Her mouth was dry and to withstand the eye contact was more than exhausting. Morotar bowed forward, his head was in line with hers. She breathed in his smell and felt the warmth emanating from his body.

“If you do not leave this tub right now, I will pull you out and throw you into your bed. Without granting you to cover your bareness. And maybe, I will change my mind on the way and toss you into the little lake outside, as you are so unwilling to leave the water. You would be sober in no time.”

Nevri swallowed hard and her gaze flitted to the pile of clothes and armour pieces on the floor. No, she really did not want to leave the bathroom without her garments or her armour. She had no choice but to obey his order.

“At least turn around if you insist on staying in here,” she mumbled.

#dealings with daedra #tag game #sujamma sundas #tesblr

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dsireland86 · 22 days ago

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Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lacy1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @dizzylmwahh @kenjipepsi1 @blackveilomens @chey-h @disappearintothegrey @jilliemiw86 @pathion @fear-its-beauty @an0mallly @potterheadquinn @flowery-mess @bloody-spades

“Show me you're better off without me/ Choking on every word you said, we'll see, we'll see /Don't breathe another word about/me I'll leave and you can finally rest in peace, we'll see”

Noah, By the time you read this, I'll be gone. You have to understand that it's better for both of us this way, if I just vanish from your life and wipe your slate, your consciousness completely clean. Once you're finished with this letter I guarantee you will hate me and just the thought of me or the sound of my name will make you cringe with disgust. It will become a bitter poison on your tongue. Those who are loyal to you will no longer be my family. None of you will ever want to breathe my name again let alone utter any words about me to anyone. I'm warning you now, Noah, what I'm about to tell you is going to ruin you. It's going to break your heart so badly you're probably going to wish you were dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but it's the only way. You have to know the truth about what happened during those three days in Montana on that last tour we were on together; you deserve to know, because it was the moment that everything changed for us. You're better off without me, Noah, and in time you'll see. In time you'll be able to rest in peace.

Noah:

“I didn't want to finish the letter. Knowing she was already gone was enough, and reading it, having it spelled out in front of me would’ve only made the gash in my heart worse. But I decided to finish anyway but regretted it instantly. I swear I could feel myself slowly slipping away as her words began to bring out the worst in her."

I rested my forehead against the back of her shoulder.

“I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you must have been feeling. Being dumped, abandoned without any explanation is a horrible feeling. It can take someone’s mind to such a lonely place and destroy you.”

“You would know, wouldn't you,” I said while playing with her fingers.

She leaned back against my chest while sitting between my legs. Turning her head at just the right angle she was able to glide the tip of her nose softly along my jawline and it filled me with a yearning of wanting to be inside her again.

“Not like you do.”

I shivered when her lips left a trail of soft kisses on my skin.

“Read me more, please. I want to know everything,” she urged.

I sighed, and even though I really didn't want to, I knew sharing this part of my life was important for us. So, I continued.

“Lying in between the memories choking me, and I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know”

The night you told me the truth about cheating on me, it broke me, but not in the way you might think. I was angry, full of guilt, relief, sorrow, and regret that created a huge mess of emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. Running was my only option. I had to escape the pain of knowing how horribly I'd hurt you and you didn't even know it. Noah, you were brave enough to be honest with me about what you did. You admitted your guilt and how ashamed it made you feel. You truly believed you'd hurt me and watching the way it tore your mind and heart apart left me in agony. I wanted to tell you the truth then, but I just couldn't bring myself to, so I took the coward's way out and ran away. I called Jolly and cried to him. He said he couldn’t understand anything I was saying let alone an idea of what I was talking about but he did his best to console me anyway. The guilt I felt, knowing what I’d done to his best friend just made everything blur together and with the way I was driving I didn’t see the headlights of the other vehicle in my lane. Jolly was still on the phone when I screamed right before the collision happened. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the hospital. So, what is the truth that was too hard for me to tell you even though I was given the chance to say many times? Noah, I hope you're sitting down, because what I'm about to say is going to be the death of whatever peace your mind had about me.

Noah:

“Noah?” Her soft voice calling to me made me lower my head and when her hand collided with my cheek, her touch brought me back to reality.

The past wasn't real, but she was, and so was the feeling of her naked body against mine. Turning herself around so that her legs were on either side of me and her arms were resting on my shoulders, she leaned in and kissed me, slipping her tongue inside my mouth little by little. She was making me so hard and I knew she could feel me between her legs, pressed tightly against that sweet soft spot of hers I loved so much. I couldn’t control the constant twitching that was happening each time she purposely pushed herself into me either.

“She knew exactly what she was doing to you and that’s what hurt the most. I'm sorry she hurt you,” her voice whispered in my ear before she took a little bit of it in her mouth.

“Ughh, fuck baby,” I moaned, squeezing her hips tighter and tugging her closer to me.

“That’s what happens,” she said, brushing her breast up against me, her perky nipples grazing across my skin, making it scream. “You let people in and they destroy you. But I won’t.”

She sat back and looked at me, the look in her eyes nearly making me cum. She had me wound up so tight that I swallowed hard when she pushed herself into me again and her warm, shaky breath washed over my face.

“You deserve so much more than you believe you do, Noah.”

Slipping her hands beneath the waistband of my box-briefs, I lifted my bottom up and she slid them down my legs, tossing them aside, retaking her spot over me.

“I’ll give you the world, if you want it,” she admitted, laying her mouth on mine and taking my lips to hers as if she owned them; she did.

“The moon, the fucking stars. Anything you ask, it’s yours. I’m yours. You can have all of me,” she confessed through a shaky, tear filled voice.

I pulled her way to look at her and my heart felt like it had busted through my chest. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but the prettiest smile on her lips. I sat up and kissed her tears away tasting their saltiness.

“I want all of it,” I admitted, brushing some hair out of her face.

“I want all of you, but not just what you let the world see. I want all the broken, busted up parts too; the parts that make you, you. I meant it when I said I would fight the battle for you. I would, I still will. If I have you, then you have all of me too.”

She started to cry and I pulled her into me as she laid her head on my shoulder. I fucking loved this girl in my arms more than I ever thought possible. More than the girl in the letter, and that scared me because there was a time when I loved her more than anything. We were both quiet for a moment, resting in the quietness of our beating hearts. I was about to finish reading the letter, when her hand slipped down and around my cock, instantly making it hard. Slowly she ran her hand down my shaft, then back up, the grip she had applying the perfect pressure needed to stimulate what I was dying for. I laid my head back against the couch, focusing on nothing but the feeling of what her hand was doing. The faster she went the harder her grip became and reminded me of what being inside her felt like; heaven. I found her entrance between her wet folds and easily slipped a finger inside her tight little pussy, taking the greatest pride in hearing her moan and melt into my touch. I felt her wetness coat my fingers, as I pumped them in and out of her as she clung to me.

“Oh, holy fuck, I need to be inside you, now.” I ordered, but it sounded more like a plea.

She didn't hesitate to obey but instead shifted enough so that her pussy was aligned perfectly with my hard length.

“Noah, look at me,” she commanded and I listened to her.

Her eyes were vibrant and full of something indescribable, something that I could never put into words; but I felt it and I knew she did too.

“I fucking love you.”

It slipped out before I could stop myself and I was scared I crossed a line. But her smile took that feeling away immediately. It was genuinely kind and made me feel the same way I felt when I first saw her.

“I love you too; all of you.”

She pushed into me and took all of me and I watched her expression change as soon as I filled her. Her tight, wet walls closed in on my throbbing cock now buried deep inside her, searching for that special spot that was going to pull all the pretty cries and moans from her that I loved to hear. I gripped her hips, sighing once she began to move slowly, with her hands placed firmly on my chest. But I wanted more and I knew she did too.

“I want you to grind on me, baby, ride me till you're satisfied. Ride me till you cum.”

That seemed to be all she needed. Soon I had her crying and moaning so loudly that she dug her nails deep into my skin, squeezed me tighter with her thighs, and let my name fall from her lips like a sacred prayer. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She pulled my hands to her small breasts, indicating to me she wanted stimulation and I all too willing obliged her. I took each nipple between my finger and thumb, squeezing them until she cried. Once hard and perky, I dragged my tongue lazily over the soft, delicate skin, circling and lapping every part until taking it in my mouth. Her moans pulled my orgasm closer and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Luckily, I didn't have too. Her hands found the back of my head, holding me in place while she fucked me slow and gently and I got her off by sucking my favorite parts of her.

“Noah, baby,” she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't have to.

I looked up, grinning at the face I saw. With eyes closed, she was in perfect ecstasy.

“Are you gonna cum for me, Princess.”

She didn't say anything, just moaned and nodded.

“Cum for me then baby, let it go and give us both what we want.”

Her lips crashed into mine and our tongues danced as she came undone all over me and I quickly followed.

It wasn't loud, it wasn't messy; it was just us, falling apart for one another together quietly. It was love making in its purest form and in that moment with her I realized the difference between straight fucking with foreplay and making love and how they were very different. We weren’t each other's first. She had a fucked up ex and I had many experiences that left me feeling used. But what she and I had just shared had so many emotions involved, ones that I didn't even know I could feel anymore. She pulled them out of me somehow and allowed me to willingly feel what I had buried away. They were tangled together, knotted and rooted in the dirt of my past. But, thanks to the beautiful human in my arms, for the first time in my life I felt the difference and wasn't afraid to feel them.

She made me feel so fucking alive and I loved it.

“Speaking in languages we can’t read, no need for you to spell it out for me/ Swallowed up and I’ spit you out, like a drug that just wouldn’t stay down”

Montana was beautiful, Noah, and the idea of visiting it with you was a dream come true. I'll never forget when you came home and told me that it was on the list of states the band was playing. Your excitement was contagious and the way your eyes sparkled and lit up your entire face will forever haunt me. It was one of the last times we were truly happy together. Those three days haunt me, Noah. They hold the worst, but also the best memories.

So here it goes… the whole truth.

The first show day went smoothly; you remember I'm sure. We all went out and had a small celebration in that little country bar where Folio rode the mechanical bull until he bled… like seriously bled. I thought I was going to pass out from seeing all the blood from his arm. The day of the second show, however, was utter chaos and hell. Everyone woke up late, the venue wasn't unlocked when we got there, and some of the equipment malfunctioned. You were miserable and because you were miserable, so was everyone else.

I tried to help, but I felt like I was only making things worse. From the moment you yelled at me in front of everyone and the things you said out of frustration, I knew things were going to be different between us. It wasn't that you yelled at me, Noah, it was what you said that was the slap to my face. You accused me of being selfish and too self conceited and centered to understand what you were going through, and you know what? You were right. I was, I am those things. And to prove I was, I decided to get back at you in my own way; the way I regret now more than anything.

After storming out of the venue and turning my phone off, I found a bar away from the venue, away from every memory of you. I wanted you out of my head, but mostly out of my heart because I was hurting. So, the first guy who sat next to me and bought me a few rounds was it. He was the one I chose to make my biggest mistake with. He took me back to his hotel room, which ironically was in the same hotel as ours, you were just one floor above me.

I was too drunk to worry about anything, not even caring if the receptionist recognized me. Noah, I will save you the details of what I did with that man in the hotel room that night. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be, and in the end he left me hurting way more than when I started out. Not just emotionally, but physically too. Thankfully there were no marks on my body, yet, but the bruises would show the following day. I lied and said you did them to me and the look on your face was devastating. I felt like a piece of shit. Maybe I was. No, I know I was. I should burn in hell for what I did to you Noah. You didn't deserve it. But the worst was yet to come when the events of the night you fucked some girl who wasn't me happened and you found out I was pregnant. Nicholas said at first you were too shocked, but when it was time for me to leave the hospital, Matt said it was all you could talk about; how you were going to be a dad and how you had so much faith that the baby would be the thing to tie us back together after your actions ruined us.

It wasn't you who ruined us, Noah, it was me, but I couldn't tell you that. Not now. Not with a baby on the way. So, I kept my silence and avoided you as much as I could, using your cheating as the excuse. And I lied to you every day up until… well you know when. Losing the baby was never, ever the intention, Noah, that, I promise, you can believe. I never wanted any harm to come to my baby. But when I woke up last month at seventeen weeks pregnant in a pool of blood, I knew it was over.

The lies could stop, the truth could come out and everything would be okay. Except it wasn't, was it? Losing the baby was too hard for you. It made you do things you regret doing and I regret watching, knowing I had the power to stop it all. I know the feeling of loss is still very raw in your heart. You're wounded and reading this letter, knowing I'm long gone, soon to be nothing but a distant memory you'd do anything to forget, is going to throw salt on that wound, but I think it's time for me to help you put your demons to rest.

Noah, the baby…. the baby was never yours to begin with.

I mean, honestly, think back to the first time we had sex after that fight. Think…. and you'll remember. If you don't let me help. You wore a condom, Noah and you filled it, but I lied to you and told you it broke because I was scared. The night I spitefully killed us in every way possible was the night I conceived another man's child. So, you see, none of it was your fault after all, Noah. It was all mine all along. Did I feel guilt? Yes. Remorse, no. Not until now. Now that I’m walking away from you, I feel every bit of remorse possible, but it’s too late now, isn’t it. The you I knew and loved is gone and so is the girl you knew. And that’s the difference between us, Noah. You felt remorse and it made you so vulnerable. I hope the next girl you fall in love with is good to you.

I hope she is never afraid of your darkness or the demons who dance in your eyes sometimes. I remember the time when you thought no one could ever love you if you revealed what lurks inside you. You’ve always been different, Noah, you know that and how could anyone understand that? But I hope she understands and is never afraid to follow you into your darkness so that she can learn to love the beast that’s inside. I tried to, but in the end I realized that sometimes, true love comes in the form of a loving demon, or a protective monster, or even a dark angel who sits and waits patiently for you to arrive. You are all those things Noah; and I hated you for it.

I’m sorry I hated you, because now I know that you were the only one to ever, truly love me.

With all my love, Always, Sarah

Noah:

I woke up, flat on my back, head off the pillow, but the blanket over top of me. As my vision cleared, Sophie was nowhere to be seen. My heart started pounding, thinking maybe she regretted last night; the things we did, the things I said. Was it all too much and she felt pressured or overwhelmed? My head was starting to panic. I ran my hands over my face, trying to convince myself everything was okay, but it didn't help. I sat up, looking around for my shirt only to remember that I'd used it on Sophie, making me remember the corner I threw it in; it was still there. I needed to find Sophie and make sure everything was good between us, especially now that she knew the truth about me and Sarah. I needed to know if she was still willing to commit herself to me, to us, with this kind of baggage attached, but first I needed a shower. My stomach suddenly hurt, the anxiety nipping away on the inside and it felt like there was a giant hole in me. I needed to fill that hole. I need my girl.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fanfic #noah sebastian fanfiction #bad omens cult #bad omens #bad omens band #bad omens fanfiction

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fanfics4all · 3 months ago

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Fire and Ice

Request: Yes / No Fluffcember Day 13!

Don’t be shy, request things! <3 Have a nice day/night

Caitlin Snow x Male!Reader

Word count: 780

Warnings: Just cool fluff!

Y/N: Your Name

Y/L/N: Your Last Name

Prompt(s): Fire and Ice

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

If you enjoy my work, you could also show support by buying me a coffee!

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*Caitlin’s POV*

I never expected to fall for anyone again, let alone someone with powers similar to Ronnie's. However, life was unpredictable, and when I met Y/N Y/L/N, a quiet, kind man with a fiery power running through his veins, my guarded heart began to melt.

We met one night at S.T.A.R. Labs, Y/N had been hurt after helping evacuate a burning building, his burns healing quickly but leaving him exhausted. Barry brought him in and I treated him, carefully checking his injuries and listening to his story. He explained that he had the ability to control fire, and his power had developed a strange twist. He could heal others along with himself with his flames, though at the cost of exhausting himself.

At first, we were just two metas trying to understand each other’s abilities. I shared my experiences with Killer Frost, and he listened patiently, always interested and never judgemental. It was rare for me to feel understood, and I found myself drawn to his warmth.

Over time, we started seeing each other outside the lab. We’d meet for coffee at jitters, walk through the city’s parks, or sit by the river, talking until the sun dipped below the skyline. I was cautious, my emotions tangled and conflicted, but I couldn’t help but feel safe with Y/N.

One snowy evening, as we walked along the waterfront, the city lights casting a soft glow over the water, Y/N took my hand. I felt the heat of his skin against mine, like a gentle ember in the cold night. My powers, reacted instinctively, cooling my skin in response. It was like a delicate dance of fire and frost. Our powers balanced each other in a way that felt oddly perfect.

“Do you ever worry about… us?” I asked, looking at our intertwined fingers.

“Our powers, I mean. They’re so different.” Y/N smiled, his warm eyes meeting mine.

“I think that’s what makes it work. You bring balance. Fire can be destructive, but it can also protect, warm, and heal. And ice… ice can be beautiful, pure, and it can soothe.” He said softly. He looked down, a hint of vulnerability in his voice.

“You make me feel like… I don’t have to burn out to help people. Like there’s another way.” My heart swelled at his words. Here was someone who saw me as both Caitlin Snow and Killer Frost, who didn’t fear her powers or see them as a burden. He saw her as a whole.

A few weeks later, Central City was hit by a heatwave, extremely unusual for the season. Team Flash speculated that it might be caused by another meta. We quickly discovered a rogue meta manipulating the temperatures. The city was in chaos, the oppressive heat becoming dangerous. Y/N insisted on helping, despite the toll his power would take. Together, Y/N and I devised a plan to bring the temperature down. We worked in tandem, he’d absorb and redirect the excess heat, while I would channel my ice to cool the surroundings. It was a risky maneuver, one that required complete trust between us.

We stood side by side, facing the rogue meta and the blustering heat he emitted, I glanced at Y/N. He gave me a reassuring nod, his hand finding mine, grounding me. I took a deep breath, feeling the cool energy of Killer Frost rising within me. Together, we unleashed our powers, an extraordinary display of blue ice and red fire intertwining in the air. The cold surged from me, creating a wave of frost that clashed with the flames, while Y/N absorbed the tempered in intense heat. For a moment, it was like we were one. Our powers blend in a perfect balance.

When it was over, the meta was subdued, the heatwave dissipated, and the city was once again safe. I felt exhausted but victorious, and as I stumbled, Y/N was there to catch me. His arms were warm and steady.

“You did it.” He whispered, holding me close. I looked up at him, my breath coming out in a puff of frost against his cheek.

“No. We did it.” I said softly, a small smile on my lips.

Standing amidst the melting ice and the fading embers, I knew I was in love once again. Y/N had shown me a world beyond fear and restraint, one where fire and frost could coexist, each making the other stronger. He leaned down to kiss me, his warmth melting away the last of my doubts, I knew I’d finally found the love that was like Ronnie’s.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @therealchoni

#fanfic #prompt #the flash #the flash imagine #caitlin snow #caitlin snow imagine #caitlin snow x reader #caitlin snow x male!reader #male!reader #caitlin x reader #caitlin x male!reader #fluff #fluffcember #fluffcember 2024 #fluffcember day 13 #fire and ice

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slytherinlives · 3 months ago

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My Year in Fic 2024

Thank you to @mirdeli for the tag! (love you and your writing <3)

First of all, I can't believe how much I've actually written this year until I sat down and took it all in. When I first started actively writing for the legacy fandom, it was a very different experience. I wrote my first fic as a fun continuation of the main story. I thought about where these characters might go and how their relationships would change in the wake of their choices. Then I hated it, deleted all 30 chapters from the internet and then re-wrote it. Then I started a second story with a new mc and new dynamics, that at the time I was really proud of. But then as I'm sure you all know, there was this person that went around accusing the adults who wrote with more mature themes and aged up characters of being foul things. Including but not limited to leaving cruel comments on art or fics that had anything above a T rating. It got so bad that it discouraged me from writing with mc content completely, which really broke my heart because I loved what I was creating with it.

But even after all of that, I couldn't stop creating stories. A big thing that resonates with me as a person as well as a writer is wanting to tell stories with characters that people already know and love but introduce themes that feel authentic to a human experience. Such as things like sexuality, anger, tense family dynamics etc.

And with that in mind, I started testing the waters with a silly little au for one of my favorite disney films Sleeping Beauty. Only this time featuring a love story without "mc". Then I did another silly au that was centered around one of my favorite superheros, Spiderman. (Both remain unfinished, but I plan to focus back on those this year)

In doing so, I found this corner of the fandom where everyone had been nothing but accepting and encouraging each other with their art and I finally started to feel more comfortable in posting my works again.

So, before I make this entirely too long, let's get into it:

My fics written in 2024: (I've published nearly 30, but I'm only going to share completed fics and the one's I'm proud of.)

Growing Pains Ominis/Sebastian 26k -single father/self discovery-

Tell Myself I Wouldn't Feel Things Ominis/Sebastian 32.3k -enemies to lovers/fake dating-

Open Yourself Up to Me and Surrender Ominis/Sebastian 2.7k -age insecurity/body worship-

I Hold You Close (In progress) Ominis/Sebastian 27.1k -friends with benefits-

Pepper Me Up Ominis/Sebastian 7.8k -sick fic/crack-

The Greatest 'What If' Sebastian/Garreth 7.8k -friends with benefits/prequel spin off of I Hold You Close-

Side Effects (On Hold) Sebastian/Fem!MC 56.3k -Reuniting/Mutual Pining/Friends to Lovers-

Across The Stars Sebastian/Fem!MC 1.6k -one shot collection with the same characters from Side Effects-

I know I'm mostly known for writing Sebinis/Weaslow now, and I love that because the friends I've made and the fun I've had over here I would never trade for anything. But I do hope one day I'll feel the drive again to finish Side Effects. (maybe even my first ever mc fic that's still up but that one more complex) I do love those characters so much and I miss them. Maybe one day.

With that said, I can't wait to share more stories (after completing some active ones first.) Maybe I'll even feel more confident to start posting my backlog for other fandoms.

Anyway, I'd love to see that everyone else has been up to this year! So I'll pass this along to @shyamanuensis , @pr0serpinas, @sunsetplums, and anyone else who wants to participate, consider yourself tagged!

See you all in 2025! <3

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #sebinis #garreth weasley #mc #weaslow #writing #fanfiction

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camaro-and-smokes · 3 months ago

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A Shot For Life

Chapter 10: Let me know that it's not all in my mind

Tags: Finally they talk!

Summary: Steve's insides burned to say something personal, to open that door and see if there was a light on the other side. But he also didn’t want to jump into that territory too fast. He didn’t want to give any wrong messages and scare Billy away.

God. How had he forgotten how hard this could be?

Read on AO3 >>

::::::::::

Steve was gnawing at his nail, a bad habit he’d shaken for decades, only to have it return now. It was a sign of the significance of the situation, how much it meant to him.

He jumped a little at the beep of his phone on the coffee table, announcing a message. He felt his heart beating a little faster as he read Billy’s reply.

“It’s incredible. You’ve got a way of making me look…I don’t know, more like myself than I usually do. How do you do that?”

A smile spread across Steve’s face. Even though the tone of Billy’s message matched the one he’d sent, the line between them was now open. “Oh, thank God,” he chuckled, relief washing over him.

Then he realized he didn’t know what to say. How would he describe his process? Even after this time more than anything, he just went with the flow, trusted his eye and intuition.

But was that really what Billy was interested in hearing, or was it just a discussion opener that really meant nothing? For a while he stared at the cursor blinking idly on the screen. He decided to go with brutal honesty.

“I know I should say it’s experience and education. But as stupid as it sounds, its intuition more than anything else. Experience is important, but what it really is all about is to have a finger on the trigger, ready to capture the moment when I see it.”

He thought for a moment about how to continue. His insides burned to say something personal, to open that door and see if there was a light on the other side. But he also didn’t want to jump into that territory too fast. He didn’t want to give any wrong messages and scare Billy away.

God. How had he forgotten how hard this could be?

So he continued: “You made that easy, you know how to wear the emotion. All I had to do was to take the shot.”

Billy’s response came quickly: “Not anyone can do that. If they could, you would be just a dime in a dozen. But you’re not.”

A warmth spread through Steve’s chest. He typed back, “If no one has ever taken as good of a shot of you, they have clearly been amateurs. If you had the chance, who you’d want to pose for?”

“Helmut Newton. No doubt about it.”

Steve smiled. “Excellent choice. He’s inspired a lot of my work as well.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s kinda hard to miss :)”

Steve hadn’t expected to find such a kindred spirit in the young model, and it both thrilled and terrified him. He replied: “I love the way he captured strength and vulnerability in his subjects. It’s a delicate balance.”

Steve’s fingers hovered over the keyboard, biting down a smile. He wanted to ask Billy more, to delve deeper into his interests and passions. But he hesitated, not wanting to seem too eager or cross any boundaries.

“Exactly! The power to convey so much without saying a word. And the way he captures power and vulnerability in the same frame…it’s incredible.” A sudden urge to share more overwhelmed Steve. “I actually had the chance to meet him once, early in my career. It was…transformative.”

“No way! What was he like?” Billy’s response was immediate, punctuated with excited emojis.

Steve chuckled, the memory warming him. “Intimidating at first, but surprisingly down-to-earth. He told me something I’ve never forgotten: ‘The most important part of a photograph is the space between you and your subject.’”

There was a pause before Billy replied. “That’s…profound. I think I get it, but I’m not sure I fully understand.”

Steve took a deep breath, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart as he typed out his response. “It’s about the energy, the trust, the…intimacy between photographer and subject. That’s what makes a truly great photograph.”

He hit send before he could second-guess himself, then held his breath, waiting for Billy’s reply. The minutes ticked by, each one feeling like an eternity. A deep pit of despair had started to form in the bottom of his stomach, filling with doubt and concern each moment that passed without Billy’s reply. Maybe he went too far.

“Hey, sorry if that got a bit heavy,” he typed quickly, his fingers trembling slightly. “I tend to geek out about photography. Occupational hazard, I guess.”

He waited anxiously, watching the screen for any sign of Billy’s response. After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a minute or two, the reply came.

“No, don’t apologize. I was just…thinking,” Billy wrote. “That’s really beautiful, actually. I’ve never thought about it that way before.”

Steve let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “I’m glad you think so,” he replied. “It’s something I’ve always tried to keep in mind during shoots.”

There was another pause before Billy’s next message appeared. “Is that why our shoot felt different? Because of that…connection?”

Steve’s heart skipped a beat. He re-read the message, unsure how to respond. Was Billy feeling it too? Or was he just being polite? Steve decided to tread carefully. “Every shoot is unique. But yes, there was something special about ours. You brought a lot to the table.”

“Thank you. I’ve never felt so…seen during a shoot before. But it must be because of the previous amateurs ;).”

Steve laughed. Billy wasn’t just deep and gorgeous, he seemed also funny. A lethal combination. “Ah, you’ve caught me,” Steve typed back, grinning. “I’m just an amateur too, with a really expensive camera ;).” He paused, then added, “But seriously, you have a natural talent. It’s rare to find someone so comfortable in front of the camera.”

“I guess I just feel at ease when I’m modeling. It’s like…I can be whoever I want to be in that moment.”

Steve rubbed his chin. He wanted to dig deeper, to understand more about the man behind the model. “Do you feel you can’t be yourself outside of modeling?”

+++

Billy swallowed. He wanted to be honest with Steve, to tell him he indeed had a facade he had meticulously built over the years. One that would keep his sexuality hidden from prying eyes, to keep his abusive father from beating him up, to make him look like he was like everyone else. But Steve…if he wanted anything to happen between them, he had to be honest about it. Just make sure that Steve understood he wasn’t yet open about it. “Sometimes I feel like I’m always playing a role, you know? Like there’s the Billy everyone expects me to be, and then there’s…well, me.”

He watched the typing indicator appear and disappear several times before Steve’s response finally arrived.

“I understand. It’s hard to reconcile who you are with who the world wants you to be.”

“Exactly,” Billy replied quickly. “It’s like…I love modeling, but sometimes I wonder if I’m just reinforcing this image of myself that isn’t really me.”

“Maybe that’s why our shoot felt different,” Steve wrote. “Because for a moment, you let that guard down. You let the real Billy shine through.”

Billy’s heart raced as he read Steve’s words. He felt exposed, but in a way that was thrilling rather than frightening. “Maybe you’re right,” he typed, his fingers trembling slightly. “I felt…free. Like I could just be myself.”

“That’s the best compliment a photographer can receive. Creating a space where someone feels safe enough to be truly themselves.”

But Billy knew it wasn’t just the safe space Steve had created. It was the chemistry, too. Everything with Steve had been so easy then. And now, here, talking like this was surprisingly easy, too. He felt himself falling for Steve more and more each moment.

“No wonder the photos are so good,” he typed. “But it wasn’t just the space you created. It was everything between us. You didn’t just see my exterior when you took that photo on the beach. You saw me. Even though I wasn’t aware of you taking the shot, you captured what I was thinking and feeling, and it’s all in that photo.”

+++

Steve stared at the text, his stomach making flip flops. He had imagined nothing. Billy had felt it, too. It felt as if Steve’s heart was hammering its way through his ribcage as he read the message again, a mix of excitement and trepidation coursing through him. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out a few times, trying to steady his nerves before replying.

“I’m glad you felt that too,” he typed, then paused, unsure how to continue. He wanted to express his interest without coming on too strong. “It’s rare to connect like that. It makes the work so much more…meaningful.” He hit send, then immediately second-guessed himself. Was that too forward? Not forward enough?

Before he could spiral further, Billy replied.

“Definitely. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. It was…intense.”

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. The word intense seemed to hang in the air, loaded with possibility. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm his racing thoughts. “It was intense for me too,” he admitted, deciding to take the plunge.

+++

Billy stared at the message from Steve. He felt like crying happy tears. He had imagined no bit of the connection and the intensity of it; it had really been there for the both of them. And now, from all these messages, he could tell that it was still there. Clearly, Steve was open to see if it reached outside work as well.

He wondered briefly how much more he should say, especially about how much Steve’s work had influenced his passion for fashion and photography as art. Should he tell him now that he’d been following his career for a long while? Should he tell Steve how he’d read and watched every interview he could find? That he’d studied Steve’s work extensively, even bought a few of his art books? That he had a crush on him and that this was a dream come true just to talk with him like this? Or should he only reveal it all later?

Then he decided it was better to get at least some of that out there now rather than later. He’d be showing his cards rather than keep them too tightly against his chest, being honest with him from the start. “I got to modeling partly because of your work. It has inspired me so much, even got me into photographing. Sometimes I worry that I’m just a pretty face, you know, that it’s all I’m good for. You changed that for me in the Bahamas by allowing me to give input on the photos.”

+++

Steve knew his work inspired a lot of aspiring photographers and artists because he got messages about that constantly. But knowing Billy was one of those also made him feel a bit unease. Was Billy interested in him only because of what he had achieved, for his status, THE Steve Harrington, rather that the person behind it all?

But at the same time, his heart ached at the vulnerability in Billy’s words. He himself had been there one day, new at the field, hopes and dreams as his only fuel pushing him forward. He took a moment before replying.

“Thank you for sharing that with me. It means a lot to know my work has inspired you. We all have to start somewhere. It takes a while to learn the basics, another to get your footing. Just remain curious and you’ll get there.”

Steve paused, his fingers hovering over the keyboard. He wanted to say more, to reassure Billy, to let him know he saw so much more in him than just a pretty face. But he hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal.

“You’re so much more than just a pretty face. Your ideas at the shoot were brilliant. You have an eye for composition and a natural instinct for what works. That’s rare, especially in someone so young.”

After sending, he read the message again, and realized that they were again talking about work and sets and he…didn’t want that. He wanted more, wanted to know Billy, the man. So he sent another message.

“So, aside from posing for amateurs and admiring Helmut Newton, what else keeps Billy Hargrove busy?”

There was a brief pause, then his phone beeped with a message. “Oh, you know, the usual model stuff. Keeping busy with drinking green smoothies, doing yoga, and taking selfies. Just being pretty. You know how it is.”

Steve chuckled, appreciating Billy’s self-deprecating humor. But before he could respond, another message popped up.

“Seriously though, when I’m not working, I’m usually tinkering with my car. I’ve got an old Chevrolet Camaro Z28 I’m restoring. It’s a money pit, but I love it.”

Steve’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He hadn’t expected that. “A muscle car enthusiast? Now that’s impressive. What year?”

“1979. She’s a beauty, but she’s got a temper. Kind of like me, I guess :D”

Joy bloomed inside Steve. They indeed had things in common outside work. “I have an AMG GT Coupe E. Matte midnight blue. 800 Newtons, zero to fun in less than four seconds.”

+++

“Oh, nice!” Billy replied, excited. He had known Steve had a Merc but no idea what it was. Of course he should’ve known it was a beast of a car. Which made him even more interested in Steve. They had other things in common than just fashion. “Mine doesn’t have the numbers even close to that. But it purrs nicely.”

“You restored it yourself?”

“Yeah. I try to go fix it whenever I can, on holidays and such. But it’s nowhere close to finishing. The engine works and the chassis is no longer entirely rotting. It’s a start.”

“That sounds more than just a start.”

Billy smiled. He truly was excited about the possibility of working more on the car. “Well, now that I have a bit more money, I might have it repainted.”

“I think you’re probably going to be a bit busy for the following months, though. Not fixing it in sight for a bit.”

“Yeah, I probably will be,” Billy replied with a smile. Their conversation flowed so easily and it made his heart soar. It seemed everything they’d shared on the set truly expanded further.

A mix of excitement and nervousness coursed through Steve. He wanted to keep this conversation going, to learn more about Billy, but he also didn’t want to come on too strong.

“I’d love to see it,” Steve typed

Billy’s reply came with a photo attached. “She’s a beauty, isn’t she?”

The photo was of an old blue Camaro standing in a small garage. The paint job was patchy at places, the result of the rusty parts having been fixed. But it didn’t hide the beauty of the car.

“She indeed is.”

“I’d love to see yours.”

Steve smiled and went for a search of a photo of his car on his phone.

He was mortified to find out that all his photos of the car were selfies. For fuck’s sake. He was an award-winning photographer who should appreciate the beauty of a magnificent piece of design and engineering over everything—and it was in the background in all of his photos. How shallow was that? At least he hadn’t shared those online. Or so he hoped. He made a mental note to drive it to some picturesque location and take photos of it in a proper setting. Maybe he could even make prints of them, who knew.

He finally found one that had more of the car visible in it than him. It still had his stupid grinning face and he couldn’t even cut it out from the photo without the car being cut out somehow, too. It was from the day he’d brought the car home and he’d just driven it for almost two hours. He was high on adrenaline, which explained the wide grin. Maybe the photo at least showed something genuine of his character.

“I have to confess…I had no other photos of her but selfies :D Sorry that it has me grinning all over! Yes, I am aware I am a renowned photographer. I should have a professional photo of her. But she’s been too much fun for me to even think about photographing her properly. I am going to fix that asap.”

Billy’s reply started with an emoji with tears in its eyes. “Don’t worry, I understand. She’s stunning.”

Steve felt himself grinning, probably as widely as in the photo. This talk of cars, of things they both loved, felt natural, easy. It had been so long since he’d connected with someone like this.

Then the grin faltered. Yes, indeed, the Merc was fun, but he knew it was a substitute. Something to do when loneliness became too much. He pondered for a brief moment if he should share that. “If I’m totally honest, though, she’s not just a means to get to work or to play with. She’s also something to do when…” An overwhelming sadness blanketed him, but he pushed through now that he had started. “…I’m lonely. I have friends, good ones, but they have their own lives and they don’t fill this kind of loneliness.”

There was a pause before a reply came.

“I know how you feel. No one wants to be alone.”

Steve’s heart ached at the vulnerability in Billy’s words. And now Steve felt vulnerable, but also exhilarated. The conversation was venturing into territory he’d avoided for years—and he knew this time he couldn’t escape it. The memory of his last relationship made Steve’s heart clench. For so long, he had been convinced solitude would be enough for him, but now…��My last relationship didn’t end well. It’s why I’ve been alone this long,” he typed, his heart racing. “I’ve kept people at arm’s length. It’s been safer that way, professionally speaking. But with you…it’s different. I feel something I haven’t felt in years, and it scares me.”

He hit send before he could second-guess himself, then held his breath as he waited for Billy’s response.

+++

Billy’s hand shook as he covered his mouth with it. The warmth swelling in his chest was quickly overwhelming him. Anything he’d ever dreamed of…no. Being able to work with Steve, having some kind of professional relationship—those were the things he’d dreamed of. Yes, he’d had a crush on Steve, but that had been in his mind only since Steve had been so far out of his reach. But now, this? Having Steve right there, knowing him a little…telling him he felt something of the magnitude he hadn’t felt in years? Billy couldn’t have ever even dreamed of anything like that.

His fingers trembled as he typed out his reply. “I feel the same way. Whatever that’s between us, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. And it terrifies me too, but in the best possible way.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’ve always admired you from afar, but now, getting to know you, the real you…it’s so much more than I could have imagined. You’re not just the famous photographer I looked up to. You’re kind, and genuine, and…Sorry, I’m rambling. I do that when I’m nervous.”

+++

The raw honesty and vulnerability in Billy’s message touched something deep inside Steve. He could almost picture Billy, nervous and excited, pouring his heart out through the words. It made Steve want to reach through the screen and pull him close.

He felt a mix of exhilaration and terror, knowing they were venturing into uncharted territory. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves before replying. “Don’t apologize, I like hearing your thoughts,” he typed, then a smile spread across his face. “I like your rambling. It’s…endearing.”

+++

Billy felt himself blushing like a schoolgirl as he read Steve’s message. He finds me endearing. He chuckled. How was Steve even real? And what had happened to keep him from stepping out into the world and looking for someone? Billy felt suddenly sad about the notion of Steve having to keep his heart protected for this long. No one should be alone, and somehow Steve, all these years, had been just that.

Billy rubbed his chin, thinking about what to say. He wanted to say so much, to express the depth of his feelings, but he was afraid of coming on too strong. Finally, he ran a hand over his face and typed: “You’re pretty endearing yourself, you know. I can’t believe someone like you has been single for so long. There must be a line of people waiting to sweep you off your feet.”

+++

Steve chuckled softly at Billy’s message, a mix of flattery and melancholy washing over him. He ran a hand through his hair, considering how to respond. “That’s kind of you to say. It’s just been easier that way. Safer. For me. Until now, that is.” He hesitated for a moment before adding, “You’re making me question a lot of things.”

+++

Billy’s breath caught in his throat as he read Steve’s words. Steve’s willingness to admit something like that made his heart ache. “I’m honored that you feel you can open up to me. I don’t take it lightly.” He took a few deep breaths and added: “I feel the same way and to know you feel like that too…it’s overwhelming. In the best way possible.” He hit send, his stomach fluttering with nerves and excitement.

+++

Steve’s emotions were a whirlwind inside him. Part of him wanted to pull back and curl back inwards, to protect himself from potential heartbreak. But a larger part, a part he thought he’d buried long ago, urged him forward. All he had to do was to walk through the door Billy was holding open and see where it would take them.

He breathed through his nose, held it for a bit, then let it out slowly. “Opening up like this…it’s difficult for me.” He paused, gathering his courage before continuing. “But with you, it feels worth the risk. I’d like to see…where this could take us. If you’d be interested in that.”

That small part inside him was screaming loudly, ‘Abort! Abort!’. But refusing to listen to that voice, Steve hit send, feeling both terrified and exhilarated. He was putting himself out there in a way he hadn’t done in years, and it was both thrilling and terrifying.

+++

Billy’s eyes widened as he read Steve’s message. He felt a mix of shock, elation, and fear. His fingers trembled slightly as he tried to find the right words. Max’s words echoed in his mind, him needing to be more established before he should explore a relationship with Steve. It twisted his insides. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested in exploring this further. But I’m also scared. My career is just taking off, and I’m not ready to be out publicly. And you’re…well, you’re THE Steve Harrington. I wouldn’t want to risk your reputation, either.”

+++

Steve felt a surge of emotions—relief, joy, and crippling anxiety. It was only logical and right for Billy to be concerned about his career. And Steve understood it. It just meant that Billy wasn’t willing to jeopardize anything right now, and it tore Steve’s heart into pieces.

He took a deep breath before typing. “I understand. Your career should come first, and I would never want to put that at risk. Just…” Hot tears were burning under his eyes. “It does make me sad, though. But I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to, so I respect what you’re saying. Maybe it’s too soon anyway, maybe it would be better that we know each other better first.”

+++

Billy’s breath caught in his throat and his heart clenched like it had never done before. He could feel the sincerity in Steve’s words, even through the screen. And he felt the same way Steve did. Steve was ready to take the leap, to put everything on the line if it came to that—and damned be his career, so was he. “I’m not saying no to exploring it now, Steve. I’m just not sure how we could do it. We’d have to keep it a secret. Be discreet.”

Steve’s heart soared with relief when he saw the message. “At first, yes. Absolutely. But I don’t want to hide forever. If this becomes something real, I want to be open about it, eventually. Is that something you could see yourself being okay with?”

+++

Thoughts raced through Billy’s mind. Mostly reasons why not to do it. Especially him having to be open about his sexuality to the world terrified him. But the idea of being with Steve and coming out with his support…if they ever got that far, he was ready to do it. He typed a single word as a reply: “Yes.”

+++

Steve’s heart leapt at Billy’s short but powerful response. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing pulse. “I’m glad to hear that,” he typed, his fingers shaking slightly. “We can take this as slow as you need. We don’t need to rush anything. Let’s just get to know each other better, for now. No expectations, no pressure.”

+++

Billy felt relieved. Steve being this considerate…He was kind, genuine, generous and now this. Not wanting to push him to anything—he was almost too perfect. “Thank you for understanding. Honestly, this is a little terrifying. But…I really want to see where this goes.”

+++

“I’m right there with you,” Steve wrote. “It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about someone.” He paused, then added, “Just…I want us to start on equal footing. Not as a fan and his idol, but as two people who want to see where their connection leads. I really want to know you, not the model. I hope it’s the same for you.”

He hit send, his heart in his throat as he waited for Billy’s response. The minutes ticked by, each one feeling like an eternity. Just as Steve was starting to worry he’d asked too much, his phone pinged again.

“Yes, absolutely. I want that too. Getting to know the real you…You’ve now shown me a glimpse of that and I like what I see. A lot.”

After a moment, another message followed:

“So…what now?”

Steve was biting his nail again. He wanted to take it slow, but he also didn’t want to go at it at a snail’s pace. As he was thinking about what to say, his eyes passed by at the clock on the upper corner of the screen.

3:20 am.

Shit.

He had totally lost the sense of time. While he had nothing special on Sunday, he knew he needed to sleep for at least a few hours to make sure his sleeping schedule got no more messed up than it already had gotten over the last few days.

He knew they could keep texting more tomorrow, but somehow it felt…juvenile. It would be easier to talk. In person.

Fuck.

He didn’t want to just chat like this or even talk on the phone. He wanted to see Billy.

But he was terrified at the thought. Again, Eddie’s words from earlier echoed in the back of his mind; It’s all about taking risks, man.

The cursor blinked idly on the screen, urging him to get on with it.

First, he thought of dinner at his place, but it would be way too much for a first date. He remembered that much. A dinner elsewhere? He knew there was a line of two weeks for a table at the restaurant he’d love to take Billy for dinner. Coffee? That wouldn’t be too much. Low stakes to start with, then they could proceed from that. And he knew just the place.

“It’s late, I totally lost track of time. Could we meet up sometime? Maybe for a coffee? Somewhere discreet, of course.”

He hit send, his stomach fluttering with nerves and excitement.

+++

Billy’s eyes widened as he read the message. He’d only ever dared to imagine himself asking Steve out. But now it was Steve who was asking him.

All his concerns about going out with him, being seen with him—they all flew out the window. This was a dream come true.

He let out a scream.

Suddenly, a voice spoke through the door, making Billy jolt a little in surprise.

“Everything alright there?”

It was Heather. She must’ve returned home while he had been texting with Steve and he’d been entirely engrossed at it so he hadn’t heard her coming in.

“Uh, yeah,” Billy replied. “Just…nothing. Sorry if I woke you up, didn’t know you were home yet.”

“Nah, just walked through the door. Wanted to check on you that you didn’t get your dick stuck somewhere again.”

Billy rolled his eyes, but a faint blush crept on his cheeks as he remembered the embarrassing incident. “Oh, fuck you. That was one time.”

Heather cackled on the other side of the door. “Sweet dreams.”

“Yeah, yeah, go away. Talk to you in the morning.”

Billy thought about his schedule for the next few days. He was busy every day until next weekend…apart from tomorrow. Would it be too bold to suggest a meeting so quickly? He wouldn’t know unless he asked.

“I’d love that. I’m really busy next week, but how about tomorrow? If you have nothing special on your calendar.”

+++

Steve didn’t remember the last time his smile had been this wide over a meeting. Billy didn’t want to push it all the way to the future, which meant that they both were eager to meet each other.

His heart hammered in his chest as he typed a reply. “Tomorrow sounds perfect. There’s this little café I know, it’s also a second-hand bookstore. I go find old records in there from time to time, sometimes sit there for a bit. It’s always quiet. Say, 2 pm?”

“It sounds perfect,” Billy replied. “I can’t wait.”

As Steve sent the details to Billy, a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbled up inside him. This was it. He was taking a step he hadn’t dared to in years, opening himself up to the possibility of something more. And with Billy, of all people—young, vibrant, gorgeous Billy. It felt unreal.

Billy’s response came quickly. “I’m really looking forward to seeing you.”

Steve typed out the last message for the night: “Me too. More than you know. Sleep well.”

#harringrove #harringrove fic #billy hargrove #steve harrington #steve x billy #billy x steve #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #suometar writes

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come-away-with-me87 · 9 months ago

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Modern Hearts Chapter 7

Chapter 6 here

******

When you arrived back at the campus, you walked up the stairs and came face-to-face with Shouta. He was walking out of his dorm at the time...which just happened to be right next door to yours. "Y/N...I think we should talk." You just stared at him for a moment, until it finally dawned on you what he said. "Yes, of course! Would you like to come in?" you asked him. You unlocked your door, and he followed you inside. You put your food down on your kitchen counter, turned around and saw him looking around your dorm.

"It looks like you've settled in nicely," he said, when he looked over and finally spotted the food on the counter. "I'm sorry, were you about to have dinner?" he asked. "No, no, it's okay. It can sit there for a bit, I'd rather talk to you," you replied. You then went over to your couch, where you patted the spot next to you for him to sit down next to you. He did just that, and started talking. "Y/N, I have complicated feelings about seeing you again." You just looked at him, feeling more confused than ever. "Or at least, I did," he continued, "you see, I took the pen pals thing very seriously, and was thrilled when we continued to write to each other throughout elementary school."

"I never made any other friends during elementary or even middle school, so your letters meant the world to me. I noticed that they started to die down during middle school, then by the time we reached high school, you never responded to my last letter." It hadn't even dawned on you that he was the last one to make contact, and you never responded. You felt horrible. "Shouta, I'm so sorry..." you didn't know what else to say. "It's really okay, Y/N. We were just kids, I shouldn't have put so much pressure on you. I was just starting at U.A. High School myself, and ended up becoming friends with Hizashi, who you met earlier, and Oboro..." he trailed off.

"Anyways, I just wanted to talk to you about the way I acted towards you earlier today and apologize; that was uncalled for." You looked at him with tears in your eyes, "Shouta, I didn't realize I was the one who stopped responding, I should be the one saying I'm sorry." You wanted to put your hand over his, but if he's still anything like he was in his younger days, he wasn't a very touchy-feely person, so you opted not to. He just shrugged his shoulders, repeating "we were just kids, it's really okay." You looked over at him, "do you think we could start over, and try to be friends again?" He smiled faintly, "I'd like that."

You offered Shouta a glass of wine, and you two sat there on your couch for the next hour and half just catching up while you both shared your sashimi. The conversation flowed nicely, and it was comfortable. It almost felt like no time had passed between the two of you; it was nice. Suddenly, it was 8:00pm, when Shouta announced he should get going stating he still had some papers to grade. You looked over at him once again and smiled, "thank you for coming over and talking to me. I feel much better than I did earlier today." "I do, too, Y/N. I will see you tomorrow." And with that, he patted your knee like an old pal, got up from your couch, and left your dorm.

What you didn't plan to tell him, or anyone for the matter, was the bolt of electricity you felt when he touched you. It was just a simple pat on the knee, but the way you felt, he may as well have grabbed your face and passionately kissed you. You had a chemistry with Michael back in the states, but never felt that bolt of electricity when you two would "accidentally" graze hands, or "bump" into each other. No, this was different, you couldn't explain it. You tried to shake it off, thinking it was just a fluke. Shouta was an old friend, and that was it.

******

To be continued...

******

Tag list: @jaguarthecat ; @lili-pond

#aizawa shota #aizawa #shota aizawa #aizawa shota x reader #aizawa x y/n #eraserhead #bnha shouta aizawa #mha aizawa #shouta aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa shota x you #aizawa x you #aizawa x reader #bnha aizawa #shota aizawa x female reader #shota aizawa x reader

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worfs-glorious-hair · 2 months ago

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Baldur’s Gate 3 Tav Ask List

I was tagged by @optimisticgrey – thank you so very much! List made by @euryalex

@wee-chlo @circle-of-the-sage @inglorionamy-ammy @foxtatodreams @galeslovesickcleric24 @skelvron-keiman @lostintheweave @nerissa-dekarios do you want to introduce your Tav(s), too? :) But don’t feel pressured to do anything of course! And please tell me should you not want to be tagged in games like this. And please also tell me if you enjoy being tagged in such games!

Anyone else who is now reading this please consider yourself tagged to join in the fun if you are looking for a reason to talk as unhinged as possible about your Tav(s)! ILY 💜 And please tag me if you do, I love reading about Tavs!

Welcome to my Multi-Taverse hehe ^^

This is Tav (Human, they/them), actually called ‘Tav’ in game, and there are currently three of them. I count them with Roman numerals in order of their creation and they share a face, voice, hairstyle and makeup. Their stories are deeply interwoven (I mean it when I say I created a multiverse), especially Tav (i)’s and Tav (ii)’s while Tav (iii)’s story is the one that has not as many ties to their predecessors and is currently on the road with a worm in their head and a thousand decisions ahead of them. But more about it all very soon.

So this is why I will answer the questions for both, Tav (i) and Tav (ii), I will show you the paths of their lives, how it’s the same and yet fundamentally different from each other. I will occasionally include Tav (iii) if I consider something about them worth mentioning here (usually in contrast to the two other Tavs) now even though they haven’t finished their journey yet… Enjoy! <3

Origin & Class

1. What is their backstory and why did you choose it?

I honestly didn’t give Tav‘s backstory much thought when I first made them as my play character. I knew that I wanted to create a character I could see myself in so their face was more important to me than a backstory that would be irrelevant to the plot and my experience of the game. I wanted a character that I could project myself onto, an extension of myself in the world of Baldur’s Gate 3.

I chose ‚Folk Hero‘ as their background, because I mostly saw Tav helping people, supporting them, keeping nature in balance and trying to be a light in the darkness of the world. Trying to bring, spread and support hope and kindness.

But in the time that followed did I think about Tav’s backstory more as I needed it for OSs or HCs. It grew a little and not so surprisingly is most of it based on my own life. But still, and most importantly, does their backstory not really matter much, generally speaking was it all quite simple, even plain for Tav, and their life began, for better or worse (may you be the judge of that), when they woke up on board of a mindflayer nautiloid. Ironic in a way. Considering what was to follow.

2. What is their class (+ subclass) and why did you choose it?

Druid (Circle of the land)

When I watched the DnD movie (Honor among thieves) someday last year was I really liking the dynamics of the druid character there and thought that it would be a lot of fun to play a druid myself in a DnD campaign some day. A real-life campaign for a druid didn’t happen yet but Baldur‘s Gate 3 found its way into my life instead a few months later. And when I thought about what class I should play in it reminded me my sister of my interest in druids as a class and I took the chance to try it out. And I am in love now. I love everything about being a druid in this game, especially how deeply connected they are to the whole plot of the game.

Tav (iii) is a paladin (oath of devotion)/ druid – I played both other Tavs basically as a paladin at heart and in spirit and it was about time I actually committed to the piece and experience the beauties of righteousness, unwavering faith, principles and divine smite for myself :) Tav (i)’s favourite heavy armor they wore for the majority of act 3 was technically a paladin armour that I plan to get again for Tav (iii). I chose the oath of devotion for Tav because this is what they are, devoted. Devoted to fighting and keeping the balance of life and death and nature, devoted to the protecting others and devoted to Gale. So devoted that they were willing to take every step of this journey again to protect him from himself, to keep him from his ambitions in another life and to have him with them for the rest of their mortal lives. (See 4 for more about that.) If I were to choose one word for Tav it is devotion. So this is what they swore on.

3. Do they multiclass? Why (not)?

No. I played both Tavs in Explorer Mode, where multi-classing is not possible.

But I am multi-classing with Tav (iii), I am finally playing in the Balanced Mode.

I kept the druid in because it is who Tav is (I need it for the plot and roleplay reasons) and I would miss it too much if I didn’t had it. Also I need to be able to cast my own guidance and to speak with animals whenever I like. And I want to be able to heal even more. I miss the wildshaping terribly, tho. But I keep the druid at Level 1. If I want to experience new aspects of the game (which I want to) can I not do and be what and who I’ve always been in this game. I am currently enjoying just hitting things with my bigass sword. :)

4. Is there a reason why your Tav starts out as Level 1?

The tadpole simply suppress the progress Tav (i) has made before in their work as a druid. I imagine that they were on Level 4 when they were abducted. They were/ are talented but not a genius, so they were slowly building experience and improving their abilities.

And for Tav (ii), well, their whole existence is directly tied to a certain someone who decided to leave Tav (i) behind after the fight of their lives to become a god. The part of Tav (i) who was unable to move on from the docks where Gale had left them behind without a word of love or just even a goodbye got offered someday to go back and get a second chance at the journey they just survived. But they would be stripped naked from their powers, their grown magic and abilities, any equipment or gear they acquired throughout their journey and would be without the loyalty and love from their friends and allies. Tav would wake up onboard the Nautiloid, weak, alone and again with a tadpole in their brain. They would need to find everything on their own again, gear, supplies, shelter, friends and love.

Every step again, every fight again, probably some more…

And the ghost of Tav (i) agreed, they would do anything to get Gale back into their arms and so they woke up again in a pod on a burning mindflayer as Tav (ii). Can be read here in „To change yesterday’s future“.

5. Does your Tav have family members? Are they close?

Yes, two younger siblings, parents and a big extended family. Tav is the eldest daughter so taking care of people, taking the lead and taking on responsibility is deeply ingrained into their soul. It’s not always for the best of them but at least they make a gentle, determined and strong leader who is able to control even the messiest of groups.

The relationship to their family appears to be good and it’s definitely not necessarily bad but Tav would lie if they said that they actively missed them while they were on the road with these remarkable people they had found along the way.

6. Does your Tav have any friends from their past? Are they still friends?

Yes, kinda. They had fellow Druids that they worked alongside back home in the woods and Tav (ii) also invited some of them to their wedding but they quickly realised that though they enjoyed catching up again were their lives way too different now and they do not necessarily share an active friendship anymore. But there are no hard feelings whatsoever.

And I like to imagine that Tav (i) and (ii) know two of my other Tavs, the twins Sunna (half-orc bard) and Baldur [based on my actual DnD character] (half-orc wizard) from home and both get invited to Tav (ii)’s wedding. Sunna performs and Baldur and Gale talk shop about wizard business. And everyone has a great night.

7. Does your Tav have connections to other characters (l.e.: NPCs)?

Not from before the events of the game. Of course they’ve built connections during their journey.

Tav (iii) is fangirling about Zevlor, they can’t believe that they are actually meeting THE hellrider Paladin in flesh and blood!

8. Where did your character live before the events of the game?

With their circle of druids in the woods outside of Baldur’s Gate towards the coast

9. Does your Tav have a different class/race/origin than in the game? (I.e.: Your Tav is Aasimar, fisherman backstory ...)

10. What was your Tav like as a child?

✨The Eldest Daughter™️✨ they never really felt like they ever were a child no, I am not projecting, this would be ridiculous

Prologue

11. What goes through your Tav's head when they wake up on the Nautiloid? Are they scared or do they push those feelings aside to focus on escaping?

Tav (i): Their head feels off, it’s not necessarily hurting but it feels awfully light and at the same time too heavy on their shoulders. They are mostly confused on why and how they came her and they are terrified that one wrong move could wake even worse horrors than this abomination already is. Tav knows they can not stay there so they’ll carefully move forward in hopes to find anything that could help them, a person, a manual, a mechanic, anything. They don’t think, they act. Survival is all that matters.

Tav (ii): Before they return to consciousness are there smells and voices and images in their mind, shards of memories from the other life but it all fades away into oblivion as they fully wake. But they remember, no, they feel that they forgot something important. But they also know that their situation is way too peculiar and potentially really dangerous that they can not stay there and ponder over dream pictures. So they find a way off the ship. Tav (ii) is way more confident than Tav (i) was and is barely scared. Instead Tav (ii) finds that they have an excellent intuition on what awaits them behind the next door. Odd.

12. How does your Tav feel about Us? Did they free them, maim them or leave them behind?

Tav (i) didn’t went up to Us and therefore never found them.

Tav (ii) couldn’t save them, even though they tried, and had to leave their body behind.

13. What was your Tav's first reaction to Lae'Zel?

Tav (i): What a gorgeous woman, no really, she is beautiful! And she knows what she is doing, she might even know more of what is going on here. I am glad that she is with me now, I will do as she says.

Tav (ii) felt not as strongly about her as Tav (i), but was just as glad that she was there to support them on the nautiloid.

14. What was your Tav's first reaction to Shadowheart?

Tav (i) met her the first time on the beach since they did as Lae’zel had told them to on the nautiloid and didn’t touch anything, which made Tav miss Shadowheart in her pod. At the beach was Tav glad to meet another survivor and felt somehow both flattered and offended when Shadowheart told them that they were ‘the first friendly face she saw’ amidst slain mind devourers. Which made Tav slightly afraid of her. Still Tav was grateful for the company, even if it was out of necessity. But soon they wondered if the two of them would ever become true friends.

They did. They became the best of friends and were practically joined by the hip for most parts of their journey.

Tav (ii) only felt relief when they saw Shadowheart in her pod and took it immediately upon themselves to free her, despite Lae’zel’s protests. Tav was glad when Shadowheart was finally free and introduced herself to them, glad about the further company and full of a feeling of safety and security. Tav instinctively knew that Shadowheart belonged on their side and they to hers. There was no question of it.

15. Does your Tav use their Arcana knowledge (Sorcerer) to free Shadowheart or do they use the rune found in the next room?

Tav (ii) used the rune.

16. Does your Tav help the mindflayer against Commander Zhalk or do they run straight to the helm?

Tav (i) tried to help but was knocked out, this was the moment they learned that they had lost their powers.

Tav (ii) ignored the mindflayer and the commander and went straight to the helm while fighting off the creatures that stood in their way.

17. Does your Tav's starting armor reflect them? If not, what would they wear instead?

The druid standard armour fits them well and is what they wore before the abduction.

Though Tav always had a liking for big, pompous armours and really indulged in that passion on their journey. And they would always dye their armours sage green.

18. If you could, would your Tav see any of the other companions? If so, how would they react?

Tav (i) would have been awfully overtaxed if they would have seen more victims (their future companions) because they would have wanted to help but would have probably not known how and would have made things maybe even worse.

All while Tav (ii) would have done anything to find them all before, to save them all sooner. And knowing that Gale was stuck in one of the pods, that they were together on the ship, that they were free to roam and fight while Gale was stuck not only in the pod but would be later stuck in the stone tears them sometimes apart.

19. What's your Tav's personality like at the start of the game? Does it change as the game goes on?

Tav is quick to arrange themselves with the situation they find themselves in and quickly takes on the role of a leader.

They decide to believe in their diplomacy and inherent good heartedness on their journey and just hopes that their powers grow quickly enough to be able to enforce what they are saying if necessary. They need some time to arrange themselves with their missing powers but slowly, especially as they return one by one, are things starting to feel less daunting.

Ironically Tav doesn’t change too much throughout the story of the game, they find that they are able to eventually find a way to deal with everything that is thrown at them and it makes them more confident that they will find the right way for everything that is yet to come.

And they do.

What surprised them, tho, was to fall in love and what insanities they are able to commit in the name of love and how badly it hurt when they lost it all in the end. This is the biggest change for Tav (i), starting as someone who did not even consider love to becoming someone willing to twist the fabric of time and space to get him back. And they don’t want to be a called hero, not if this means that they don’t have Gale in their life. Not if he is gone. They don’t want statues or any honorifics, when the Tav from the beginning enjoyed it very much when they were called and celebrated as a hero. This Tav had died alongside the dream that had been Gale Dekarios. The dream that had been smothered by Gale of Waterdeep’s ambitions.

Tav (ii) was just very obnoxious and insufferable about their love in the end. And very happy.

20. Finally, what does your Tav feel as the Nautiloid crashes? Are they scared? Are they thinking of a way to survive?

While Tav (i) is knocked out and doesn’t even register that they are now crashing is Tav (ii) oddly confident that they won’t die, they don’t understand why this is possible, but they do. The mindflayer that sits next to them and pierces them with it’s orange soulless eyes is highly unsettling, though,

Act 1

21. Which companion do you get first? If you get Shadowheart first no matter what, who's the second one?

Tav (i) got Shadowheart first, then Astarion, then Gale.

Tav (ii) had this odd feeling to ignore the unconscious Shadowheart on the beach and to go instead further down the beach and to fight their way through the nautiloid wreckage towards a path by a cliff. Their feet knew the way through the wreck and towards a destabilising magical portal as if they had taken these steps a thousand times before. And as Tav faced the sigil they knew, somehow they knew that this is it. This is important, this is why they are here. This is why they found themselves trapped on a nautiloid and eventually crashed.

They pulled Gale (whose name they didn’t know at this time anymore) out from it by whispering some gentle words of magic, laced with the kindness of nature in spring, just like a prayer and knew that they just had saved a world. They just didn’t know that it was their own world they had saved.

Tav then got Shadowheart and after her they got Astarion who did try to kill them but Tav didn’t mind, not when Gale dared to incinerate him if he wouldn’t let Tav go. :)

22. What is your Tav's first impression of the other companions (Astarion, Gale, Karlach, Wyll ...)

Astarion

Tav (i): He is dangerous! Why does nature repels around him, why does the wind in the trees whisper to me of death when he is near? Something is off about this man. I have to be very careful around him!

Tav (ii): What a poser! Huh, is he potentially dangerous? My skin crawls, as if I am dealing with a scared lynx. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. He is a scared lynx! He needs a friend!

Gale

It’s you! It’s going to be only you! I love you! [Both]

Wyll

Tav (i): What energy, what drive! And he is beautiful! Have you seen that smile and those kind, beautiful eyes? I feel saver already! If I can someday fight like him this would mean everything!

Tav (ii): Hello! Why do I feel like I know you, why does it feel like a ‘hello again’? I know you, I think. With a different face but the same smile.

Karlach

Tav (i): She is definitely not a devil, Wyll must have made a mistake. This can’t be the woman that he had shown me. This one is just hurt and desperate. And those eyes, eyes that kind can never be cruel.

There is so much pain, she is a victim! Just like us. No, even more than us.

Tav (ii): Oh I am so glad to have you back, this time I will do everything differently, I promise! Wait, why do I think such things, I don’t even know her. Do I? Whatever it is, she needs help, friends and is obviously not a devil. Wyll has to see sense! Also I am with Shadowheart there, she could carry me to safety if necessary…

23. What's their opinion of Emerald Grove? Do they help the tieflings or side with the druids?

Tav supports the tieflings however they can but they tried to talk reason into the druids, especially into Kagha. Tav (ii) found out about the Shadow Druid conspiracy and influence on Kagha and was able to make her turn around from them and back to the grove and Silvanus’ true teachings. The day they were being honoured for that with the title Faithwarden was one of their proudest and happiest days and Tav (ii) considers this to be one of their greatest achievements (as a true druid) on their journey.

Besides having their wizard leave the crown in the river, him finally staying with them and marrying him of course!

Tav’s opinion on the grove is a good one, though. They feel at home there, despite the uncertainties and terrors that they are facing, despite the worm in their head, despite it all.

It feels good to be back at a place of serenity and the gentleness of nature’s friendship. Tav also feels a sense of responsibility for the grove, to make sure that it is save and protected from anything evil, inside or outside. That’s why it meant everything to Tav (ii) when Kagha told them that there had been a druid that had saved the grove but it hadn’t been her.

It truly was their proudest day on their journey so far!

24. How does your Tav feel about Mol and her friends?

Tav wishes that they could help them find a family, a home, so that they wouldn’t need to run their petty crime business but Tav knows they can‘t. And these children are victims so Tav smiles at them, trades a little and reminds them that there are kind people out there who care for them. Tav treats them as children and let them play if they want to. They need it. In short: Tav cares a lot about them!

25. What does your Tav think of Aradin?

„What a prick“ - both Tavs

Tav loves Zevlor, tho, they feel connected to him, a same-spirited soul with a similar fate than theirs. Zevlor is a leader of desperate, terrified people who survived hell, he wants to be strong for them, a hero, a true paladin again, but it is so, so difficult. He makes the decisions no one else dares to make, he holds their lives in his hands and knows that he is not strong enough to save them all. Tav wants to be his friend, carry his burden for some time and they make sure that the fight between him and Aradin doesn’t escalate. For Zevlor‘s sake.

26. What does your Tav think of the Raphael?

Danger! Danger! Danger! Do not mess with a devil and do not, under any circumstances, take anything he offers! Not even the food. I know how stories like this go, I will not bind myself to this place where a fate worse than death would probably await me and I will never sell my soul! And neither will my companions, I’ll make sure of that!

Do not underestimate him, or better, do not overestimate your abilities to face him. If you want to strike one day, prepare yourself!

27. Does your Tav adopt Scratch and the Owlbear cub? Did you name him?

Both Tavs adopt Scratch but only Tav (ii) also adopted the owlbear cub. (Tav (i) had visited the owlbear’s cave but the cub didn’t came to their camp.)

The owlbear cub didn’t get a name besides “bebé”. Scratch gets called Scratchie occasionally.

28. What does your Tav think of Auntie Ethel? What do they tell Mayrina?

Tav (i) didn’t encounter Auntie Ethel besides having a quick chat with her in the grove and getting mushroom soup from her.

Tav (ii) had to knock Mayrina’s brothers out and told her exactly that.

And since Auntie Ethel is a hag, which is an abomination and unnatural in itself, are there no strong feelings in Tav about her person but that it is their duty as a druid to get rid of her so that she can never hurt anyone ever again.

And, as a side note, Auntie Ethel died before she could have offered the deal, which Tav would have maybe not even taken due to its nature.

29. What does your Tav do about the Goblin camp? Do they free Halsin or side with Minthara? What's their opinion of them?

Tav does what is necessary to clean the road for the Tieflings. They slay the three leaders and all of the goblins who dare to get into their way.

Tav kills Minthara without regret. She annoys and irritates them greatly and Tav wants her gone. She poses a big threat to the grove – they are all in danger as long as she is alive. Beautiful armor, tho. Gale looks very handsome in it :) He wears it better than her, if you ask Tav. :3

Freeing Halsin is one of Tav’s top priorities in the goblin camp obviously (it’s their original mission after all) and Tav adores him immediately. He is definitely friend shaped as a bear, have you seen that fluffy butt and fluffy ears and turns out to be also a friend-shaped gorgeous elf. Tav feels save with him, they feel how he is brimming with nature’s unrelenting, yet nurturing power, how close he is to the teachings of Silvanus, how he lives them. Tav feels save and protected under his gentle smile that he graces them with even in the smelly worg pens when they are mere strangers.

30. Who does your Tav think of when they go to sleep at the goblin/tiefling party? Or are they lucky and do they get to spend the night with the person they want?

Gale obviously! (So it isn’t different to any other night they had in camp because they usually go to bed and think fantasise about Gale…)

31. What does your Tav think of the Underdark and the Myconids?

„What a terrifying, beautiful, beautiful place! How life is still life here and so, so precious despite how different it is to what I know. There is so much to learn here and I wish I could stay here. Here amidst gentle, beautiful, sentient fungi, who share their song with me, who invited me into their circle and who promised me to be with me wherever I would go. I promise I will defend you, fight for you until my dying breath, dear, beautiful friends. No matter what else will happen to me or the people I love so much that travel with me, I will have the memory of you and your song in me, forever with me!“

Suffice to say that Tav loves the Myconids. The Underdark is a fascinating place for Tav, their thirst for knowledge about life in all of it’s forms is strong there and they would love to learn everything that there is to learn. But they can’t. They also miss the sky terribly, the dark, no matter how beautiful, is no place for them.

Both Tavs return to visit Spaw’s circle eventually. Maybe they even look after the vampire spawns if Astarion wants to join their trip into the Underdark.

32. Does your Tav help Glut or do they fight him?

They fight and kill him. He was dangerous and wanted to hurt their dear friend Spaw and his circle, he left them no choice.

33. Do you bring the potion ingredients to Omeluum and, if so, did you drink it? Did you barter for his ring?

Tav (i) didn’t meet Omeluum.

Tav (ii) did and brought the ingredients and also drank the potion. They regretted it immediately, tho but what is done was done and they got the ring for compensation. But Tav never used the powers the potion had awoken in the tadpole, they were scared of them.

34. Does your Tav react to the Sussur flower or how would they react if it affected them?

Yes, as a druid is Tav affected by the tree and while Tav (i) didn’t encounter it was Tav (ii) eagerly agreeing with Gale to get away from it as quickly as possible. Tav (ii) definitely didn’t enjoyed the experience of being cut off from their magic. And Tav (i) would have felt the same.

35. Do they deliver Nere's head to the Myconids and save the slaves?

Yes and yes

36. Did your Tav fight the Forge Protector? How did the fight go for them?

Tav (i) couldn’t manage to find the forge no matter how much they tried and meticulously searched for it. They searched for it after the fight with Nere when the whole area was already deserted and Tav and their party were the only living, breathing creatures left in it.

Tav (ii) found it thankfully and fought the protector in a successful fight, that went much smoother than they had expected. But it took some patience.

37. Did your Tav go to Creche Y'llek? Did they know something was up with the healer?

Tav (i) didn’t go to the Mountain Pass at all, because they didn’t want to face Githyanki without a Githyanki by their side. (Lae’zel was sadly dead.)

Tav (ii) went but since Lae’zel was dead as well were they keeping the Githyanki interactions as short as possible and there was also not a reason to see the healer. See 39 for more.

38. Did your Tav deface the portrait of Vlaakith?

No.

39. Did your Tav get the Blood of Lathandar?

Yes. Getting it was the mere reason for Tav (ii) to go into the Mountain Pass. And the real reason was definitely not getting Gale‘s line before entering the prism „Go ahead. I‘ll come running if you need me!“ Nu-hu! Definitely not! Definitely yes.

40. Did your Tav agree to kill the Guardian or did they go talk to them instead?

Tav (ii) agreed to enter the prism but never planned on killing the guardian. They just wanted to talk to her.

Act 2

41. Which way did they take into the shadow cursed lands?

Both Tavs went through the elevator in the Grymforge

Did they run into Elminster? What was their opinion of his news for Gale?

Yes, he was waiting there in the last fortress that was unaffected by the curse for the party.

Tav was pissed, absolutely mad at Elminster and Mystra and deeply worried about Gale. They tried to talk to him afterwards and they did for a short while but he then asked for some space to think, which Tav gave him with a heavy heart.

The two of them would talk later when the emotions would have calmed again. And the truth was that Tav needed time for themselves as well to sort through their own feelings. Besides their anger about Elminster and Mystra’s cruel command was there also so much fear in Tav. Fear of losing Gale, their Gale to Mystra, to her orders.

It was the day Tav truly faced the depths of their adoration, love and devotion and their jealousy of Mystra (of course they weren’t jealous of her powers but of her influence in Gale’s life and they were also wondering if they would ever have a chance against her beauty, did Gale even see them, Tav, as someone to adore and desire when he had conjured her image just to look at it? Tav wouldn’t had to worry, but they didn’t know it yet – Gale had never again conjured Mystra’s image after the lesson in magic the two of them had shared) for Gale and decided to not let him out of sight again. Not until they had found another way, there just had to be one! This would not be the end, Gale had to live, Mystra had already taken so much from him, she would not take his life and condemn his soul „for her forgiveness“ – who knew if she would even grant it. Not on Tav’s watch, not when they love him so much! Maybe they should tell him, confess what they are feeling, maybe he feels like they do or at least he is flattered enough to consider living just to know that he is loved and adored by Tav. He deserves to know that…

And he deserves to live a full life preferably with Tav.

42. How does your Tav react to the shadow curse? Are they scared of the dark?

Very badly. They were scared of the curse when Halsin told them about it and dreaded going near or even through it. But they would do what had to be done.

And when they finally arrived were things even worse than Tav had thought. They came from the darkness and the absence of the sky from the Underdark into the rotten darkness of the curse. Tav felt nature around them scream in agony and terror, heard the shadows whisper and wail and tug at their soul. They spent many nights by the fire next to Halsin because both of them felt the curse and the shadows ripping apart the land and their souls. And they tried to cheer each other up, trying to dream of the day the land could finally be free again but it was difficult. So difficult.

Tav (ii) deals a little bit better with it all due to their ongoing feelings of familiarity with many things they encounter and having the Blood of Lathander equipped helps a lot to ease the nerves. But they despise this place just as much and hate this curse as much as Tav (i) and Halsin does/ did.

43. What does your Tav think of Jaheira and the Harpers?

Tav didn’t know much, barely anything, about Jaheira before but was a big fan immediately and Tav loved that it would be druids and harpers together once again to fight and free the land.

And Tav (ii) spent more time with Jaheira later on their journey than Tav (i) has and found that they are an excellent team. Panther and wolf 🖤 Tav’s favourite wild shape

44. What does your Tav think of Isobel?

Tav (i) found her to be very fascinating, there was an aura of secrecy around her that they were curios to learn what was laying behind it.

But she was abducted and the Last Light Inn fell before they could get to know her any better. All Tav (i) knew of her was what Aylin told them later and Tav regretted it deeply that they had been unable to save her love.

Tav (ii) was able to prevent the abduction and was overjoyed to spend more time with her and to finally get to know her better. Tav always had a feeling that there were two love stories, two couples, to save in this life and that everything would be alright as long as the moon shield would stay bold and bright over the Last Light Inn until the curse would be broken.

45. Does your Tav help Mol win against Raphael?

Tav (i) couldn’t stay quiet about warning Mol of Raphael’s true nature, much to her disapproval.

Tav (ii) listened to Gale’s thoughts about the game and encouraged Mol to listen to him.

46. Does your Tav help Astarion make a deal with Raphael?

No. If Astarion wants to make a deal with the devil, he can do that on his own.

47. Does your Tav help Markus or do they warn Isobel?

Tav sided with Isobel every time, but only Tav (ii) actually managed to warn her and prevent her abduction.

48. Does your Tav steal the moonlantern from Kar'Niss or do they fight him?

They fight him. Tav (i) caught Kar‘Niss on his way to Moonrise and fought him and his people on their own and Tav (ii) ambushed him together with the Harpers.

49. How does your Tav react to Ketheric Thorm? What about his family (Gerringothe Thorm, Malus Thorm ...)?

They mostly feel disgust at what he has done to the lands just to become an undead abomination, immortality is unnatural and Tav will do what is necessary to free the land and end his life once and for all. But Tav feels sorry for his family, they probably didn’t deserve such a fate. Well, Malus probably did, Tav suspects that he always worshipped Shar and was a cruel, malicious person even when he was still alive.

Tho only Tav (ii) met Thisobald and wondered if he was more lonely than anything after they had to kill him and sincerely hoped that they had been able to free his soul from this place, that it had found peace.

50. Does your Tav save the tieflings & gnomes?

Tav (i) had tried to but the darkness of the curse and the threat of Moonrise slowly tore apart their soul and they were nearly driven to insanity from it all. So they missed their chance, they were afraid and only focused on breaking the curse in a fever-haze. And when they realised what they had done was it already too late. But maybe it was for the better, all of the other Tieflings had died at Last Light Inn when Isobel had been abducted and there would only be more pain waiting for them.

Tav (ii) had saved them but two of the Tieflings had died on the escape.

51. What does your Tav think of the Gauntlet of Shar?

Not a place to dwell, it’s an unwelcoming, depressing domain of a cruel goddess.

If Shadowheart wants to do the trials, if they are important to her, Tav will not stand in her way, tho. But they will be very glad when the trials are done and they can finally leave to whatever brings them closer to breaking the curse.

52. What does your Tav think of Dame Aylin?

What a woman!

First, Tav is terrified that the Nightsong is a living and breathing person, chained and bound by evil, cruel magic. Secondly, Tav wonders if she has to die, since she is bound to Ketheric if Tav wants to break the curse. How could Tav ever make such a decision? And oh, how relived they are when they start to understand that it’s only the magic that bounds Aylin’s natural immortality to Ketheric and by freeing her from her shackles are they severing the connection to him.

And then is Tav completely star struck by the beautiful woman that Aylin is. And is very giddy about the fact that Aylin considers them to be their ally for life and swears her support and her friendship and sees Tav as powerful and capable of everything. Sometimes Tav feels as if they wouldn’t deserve such an honour but then are they remembering that they have slain the apostle of one of the Dead Three together so maybe it isn’t as far fetched to believe that Aylin’s words are true.

And Tav has something like a friendly crush on Aylin, if she and them wouldn’t have their loves of their lives each, then maybe Tav would deeply desire her. But not in this life… And probably in no other. But still, what a woman!

53. Did your Tav help Art Cullagh?

Tav (i) would have gladly helped him but he was already dead after the Last Light Inn fell when they found him. He was able to help them break the curse in death, tho. Tav prays that his soul found peace.

Tav (ii) helped him all the way through as best as they could but could not save his life. His last letter they received months after the brain fell made them cry half a night against Gale’s chest and it later got a special place in their tin box of keepsakes from their journey. And another important visit was added to their list of people and places to see again.

54. What did your Tav tell Arabella about her parents?

That they are dead. Only the truth would help Arabella grieve, mourn and eventually make her peace with the loss of her parents.

55. Did your Tav reunite with Us?

No. (It died back on the nautiloid in the beginning of the journey.)

56. What did your Tav think of the Mindflayer colony?

Initially a mix of surprise that something like this could be hidden under the ancient structure that is Moonrise Towers and disgust that they would have to be again in such an unnatural, slowly composting from the inside out mindflayer nightmare again. Tav had hoped they would never find themselves after the nautiloid in a place like this again. But here they were. And sometimes the only way out would be through or further down in this case. So they ventured forth. Determined to find Aylin again, to find Zevlor and to kill Ketheric for good to finally break this awful curse.

57. Did your Tav free Zevlor? Did they free Mizora?

Oh yes. They would have preferred to leave Mizora behind but they wanted Wyll to be free from the pact so they did it, begrudgingly so.

And looking for and freeing Zevlor, well, was a necessity, not a question. Tho Tav (i) had some problems finding him at first. But they managed eventually and hugged him tight.

58. Did your Tav complete the Brain Node puzzle?

Yes! The only puzzle so far in the game I immediately understood what it wanted from me and solved it without googling :D

59. Did you use the Minds you find on the head near the brain node puzzle?

Tav (i) just used the brain in the chamber behind the brain node puzzle and maybe what else they had in their inventory.

Tav (ii) tried out all of the brain jars they could find in the mindflayer colony but forgot the brains from the nautiloid ‘at home’ (at camp).

60. Did you clear Moonrise Towers of the shadow curse?

Oh yes. Tav’s proudest deed and their happiest day! They had done the hero’s work of a druid, not a warrior. Relief is too little of a word to describe what they felt when they finally saw the light returning to this place. Tho they wished that they (especially Tav (i)) could stay and watch the land heal and grow again. But they can’t.

And they are not sure if they could anything as noble, as good, as necessary ever again but what they had done by healing the land.

Act 3

61. How does your Tav feel about Baldur's Gate? Is it their home? Is it their first time in the city?

Tav is not a fan of the city even though they grew up in a small community a little outside in the close proximity of the city. They had avoided to come into the city whenever possible and don’t know their way through the bustling streets. Being here now with a mission forces them to get to know the city very closely. They don’t necessarily enjoy this.

62. What's their first impression when they enter Rivington?

Ugh, civilisation!

Tav doesn’t really know what to feel, they mostly feel disoriented and confused by the sudden order and structure and most all people all around them.

And they have a feeling of being invincible and untouchable.

We have slain gods, Tav thinks to themselves, we have broken a century old, dreadful curse and have cleansed the land from it. There is nothing that could touch us now.

And Tav (ii) feels on top of that something is stirring inside of them. Something important. They feel that they are close to winning everything or loosing everything once again when they are not careful. And it has nothing to do with the tadpole.

63. If Shadowheart got a new haircut, how does your Tav react?

Tav loves it! New hair for a new and freed Shadowheart.

Tav (ii) found that Borealis Blue dyed armours go very well with it.

64. What does your Tav do with the trapped kids' toys?

Tav (i) solved the case and eventually donated the now save toys.

Tav (ii) didn’t encounter the issue with the toys.

65. Does your Tav go to the circus? Do they like the activities?

Yes!

The circus is a beautiful, colorful, lively place that gives the whole party some much needed joy back.

Tav and Gale share a moment exploring their bond and love (Tav (ii) and Gale got their first Orin confrontation there to their disdain) and the whole party is madly pissed when their trip to the circus ends with a imposter murder clown and a bloodbath.

66. Does your Tav help with the murder investigations?

Yes. They solve it and clear the suspect’s name and let the priest hopefully rest now in peace.

67. Does your Tav meet Tara? What's their opinion?

Yes, they meet her. Tav is delighted to finally meet the famous Tara who is so much more than they had imagined from Gale’s descriptions. But Tav is a tiny bit disappointed that Gale didn’t introduce them as his lover to her. They would have been very curious of her reaction while also wondering if it was maybe better this way. They are a bit wary of her, they don’t want Tara to think badly of them and maybe they should have this conversation another day.

68. What does your Tav do with the Mindflayer in the windmill?

Both Tavs killed it.

69. Does your Tav run into Orin? If so, what's their first opinion?

Ugh. Seriously, I have to deal with this maniac of a blood thirsty shapeshifter now? Oh well, bring it on. I will be the last one standing, your time has come!

70. Does your Tav make a deal with Raphael?

No, neither of them.

71. Does your Tav 'spend time' at Sharess' Caress?

Tav (i) was interested in the orgy but since Gale wasn’t comfortable with that let they the matter drop immediately.

Tav (ii) just solved the murder of the missing libertarian and ignored the twins. They knew instinctively that it was not for them or Gale. Maybe someone else in their position, in a very different life… Like Sunna, a half-orc bard Tav knows from back home, she would have loved that… Maybe if Sunna were in Tav’s situation would she has done this… She probably would. Will do!

72. How does your Tav enter the city?

Tav (i) used the pass that Arfur Gregorio gave them and Tav (ii) used the Investigation Pass.

73. Do they free Florrick?

No, she is dead. (Died in Waukeen’s Rest (Tav (i)) and in The Last Light Inn during the otherwise successful battle against Markus (Tav (ii)).

74. What do they do at Gortash' coronation?

They stand there watching it with clenched teeth and fists and are imagining the day they will kill him.

75. What does your Tav do with the serial killer running rampant?

Investigating and solving it. Protecting/ warning and saving the potential victims and later infiltrating the tribunal with the bag of hands.

76. Does your Tav tell Dame Aylin about Lorroaken? Do they help her fight him?

Yes and yes. Die, weasel, die!

77. Does your Tav go to the House of Hopes? If so, do they sleep with Haarlep?

Yes and no, Tav would not even consider this in a million years!

78. Does your Tav help the Wavemother?

Tav (i) wanted to help her but didn’t want Redhammer to die. So they had no chance but to fight her.

Tav (ii) didn’t met the Wavemother before they descended to the Iron Throne and were never asked for their help.

79. Does your Tav rescue the prisoners in the Iron Throne?

Yes,

Tav (i) died an hero’s death tho as they pushed Wyll’s father up the ladder but couldn’t get on board themselves anymore. Gale was inconsolable and insisted to get Tav back on his own and not with Wither’s help.

No one died in Tav (ii)’s turn.

80. Does your Tav free the slaves from Steel Watch Foundry? Do they side with the Gondians or with Wulbren?

Yes.

And Tav (ii) sided with the Gondians and had Barcus step in as the new leader of the Ironhand gnomes. Tav (i) had no one to side with since the Ironhand gnomes, especially Wulbren, were dead.

81. If you saved Oskar in Act 1, did you meet him again? If so, did you help him? Did you side with the Mystic Carrion or with Thrumbo?

Neither of the two Tavs did any of that.

82. What does your Tav do with the Counting House robbery?

Solving it and returning the money, but persuading the accountant to leave them half of the gold as a reward.

83. Does your Tav reunite with Mayrina? Do they fight Auntie Ethel? Do they save Vanra?

Only Tav (ii) dealt with the hag issue in Baldur’s Gate. Tho they only found the traitor and didn’t kill the hag a second time. I skipped the hag fight because I wanted to finally finish the game and get my happily ever after.

84. Does your Tav find all of Dribbles' body parts?

Yes.

85. Who did Orin abduct from your party?

Halsin (both times).

86. Did your Tav complete the trial of Bhaal?

No. Tav (i) let Sarevok talk and then attacked him by telling him that they would definitely not become an Unholy Assassin.

While Tav (ii) had Minsc with them and Sarevok took offence in that, didn’t even talked to them or offered them to face the trials and called them a heretic. Which neither Tav nor Minsc minded much. And then they attacked. :) It was a beautiful bonding moment for the two of them.

87. Did your Tav side with Gortash or did they agree to kill him for Orin?

Tav (i) agreed to an alliance with Gortash that they planned to break and Tav (ii) didn’t promised anything to anyone and kept things vague.

88. Does your Tav successfully resist the Nether Brain?

Yes.

89. Does your Tav side with the Emperor or do they free Orpheus? Do they become Illithid to use the Nether Stones or does one of their companions do it? Do they give the Nether Stones to the Emperor/Orpheus?

Tav (i) freed Orpheus and gave him the stones and also fulfilled their promise to him to kill him afterwards.

Tav (ii) sided with the Emperor and regretted it. I regretted it to be precise. Tav didn’t felt much. He is so weak in comparison to Orpheus in the final battle and he is also a manipulative and gaslighting ass and I will never side with him again.

90. Do they betray the Emperor/Orpheus/their companions for the Absolute?

No.

Epilogue

91. Does your Tav get a happily ever after?

Tav (i) finds their peace and happiness eventually but when they came to the party were they still a long way away from that. So this hero’s journey was a tragedy, saving the world for the price of their happiness.

But in another life got the hero the wizard in the end – so there it was, finally Tav (ii)’s happily ever after!

92. Where does your Tav end up after defeating/ siding with the Nether Brain?

Tav (i) lives in Avernus with Karlach (and Wyll) until they can finally fix her heart for good and then Tav moves to Reithwin to Halsin and the children.

Tav (ii) lives in Waterdeep with Gale.

93. What do you think happens to the party, afterwards? Do they go for drinks? Do they go their separate ways?

The remaining party members Shadowheart, Astarion, Jaheira, Minsc, Boo and Halsin go for drinks but are not in a mood to celebrate anymore – Gale is gone on his ridiculous search for the crown after breaking their beloved leader’s heart (Astarion and Shadowheart are already plotting on how to murder a god) and forcing Tav (i), the kind and gentle druid who cried in relief for days when they finally broke the shadow curse, to flee from this realm and their pain into literal hell where nothing is green or kind. And so are Wyll and Karlach. At least they are together they say but in each of their eyes is so much more. Astarion’s eyes are full of bloodlust and rage, he wants to see something dead, anything really, to make the loss of his friends not hurt so much. Someone has to pay, Gale has to pay for his stupidity and foolishness. And Tav, he would give anything to hear them talk again about how doing something good for the sake of it and not a reward is enough, yes, especially for you, Astarion. He already misses them so much. And he will never forget the look in Tav’s eyes as Gale quickly walked past them down the docks and disappeared into the smoke of the smouldering city – it was a look of pure heartbreak, he could hear it break, not even the shadow cursed lands had distorted Tav’s face into this much desperation and pain.

“Gale…”, they had whispered. “My love please come back… I love you” And their voice had been so tiny and desperate that Astarion had considered to run after Gale to drag him personally back to Tav…

Shadowheart is furious, how could Gale do this, to Tav, to them, to the world they had just saved. From where did this sudden egoism come from? Had there been signs she had overlooked, that she maybe didn’t want to see? Shadowheart felt betrayed, for so long had the four of them, Tav, Astarion, Gale and herself, been an odd little troupe against the world. And it had worked. Together they had taken down a whole Goblin camp and had freed slaves and had broken curses and had done the gauntlet of Shar together and fought the demons of their past and killed Raphael and… And Gale threw this all away and for what? To become a god? Hah, he was a kind and a good and a selfless man who could have had everything anyone could just dream of – friends who are loyal to the death, a gorgeous, devoted lover who wanted to spend their life with him but as a god would he be like all the others, demanding, cruel and full of himself. There would be no space for laughter by the fire or adding more and more thyme to the soup because Tav said they liked it, there would be no space for teaching enchantments to his friends that should make their lives easier, there would be no room for too many bottles of wine passed around under a clear, starry sky…

It became a long and weary night, while the city around them celebrated.

They went to the Elfsong to ravage from it what was left of their belongings on the next day but they all were quick to pack everything together and to leave, the memories of what they had lost were just still too fresh, too painful.

And they wondered if it could be different, maybe there was a life where they could celebrate their victory…

And they did celebrate in another life, in Tav (ii)’s life. They raised their glass for Wyll and Karlach in Avernus and swore to help them if they could and celebrated their victory and the end of the journey that had made friends out of alliances that were grown from availability and necessity.

They celebrated Astarion’s freedom, Shadowheart’s living parents and their overall success in doing the impossible: removing the tadpoles and winning the world.

And Tav and Gale celebrated while being obnoxiously and insufferably in love that they were alive and free of worms and most importantly together.

94. Years after the game, what do you think your Tav is up to?

Tav (i) still lives in Reithwin with Halsin by their side, still caring for the lands and the children who are not children anymore and who are finding their own way now but I imagine that there are usually more children coming. And most importantly is Tav a druid again, hasn’t worn armour in ages, doesn’t carry around elaborate weapons anymore but a simple staff made from one of the destroyed trees from the curse to remind them of their biggest victory and the blessing they gave this land. And to remind them that good can come from the darkest of places. I also see Tav and Halsin travel together when the time allows it. Learning, studying, finding all sorts of magic and life. Being druids together.

Tav (ii) lives a comfortable, happy life in Waterdeep with Gale. They have all they ever wanted in him and have mastered the art of being a druid in a big city. I see them occasionally (for one or two semesters at a time) teaching all kinds of druidic magic and wonders at the Blackstaff Academy or building a druid community in the woods around the city and by the sea. Teaching everyone the ways of nature and the magic it holds. And sometimes, when things get quiet during the winter for example and Tav enjoys the time at home without any responsibilities, are Tav and Gale playing a game called “The Trophy Wife”. The both of them argue back and forth on who of them is the trophy wife and gets to live the life of such. Tav claims that they are the trophy wife of the renown, legendary Professor Dekarios of the Blackstaff Academy whose classes have waitlists for four semesters by now while Gale protests and says that this is impossible, that he is Tav’s trophy wife. How could it be any different if he was the one who married the Hero of Baldur’s Gate themselves, the hero who had not only saved the world but him too and had taken his heart as if it was nothing in the progress.

“Just because you had taken my heart before”, Tav usually answers with a feigned serious face and twinkling eyes. “It was only fair if I’d get yours as compensation for my loss, you know…”

“So you admit that I am the trophy wife then”, responds Gale with a very smug grin and eyes that sparkle with the certainty of victory.

And Tav huffs in defeat, shaking their head in playful disbelief. He had done it again.

“Well, if you do insist, Professor”, Tav purrs and Gale’s groan wipes the grin from his face which makes Tav grin just as smugly in return…

Two have to play this game.

The game usually ends with them on the sofa or the bed, being very busy being very indulged in each other’s pleasures and bodies, suddenly very content with no one being the trophy wife or both being the trophy wife, depending on the mood.

95. What do you think of your Tav's development throughout the game? If you compared them to who they were at the start, what would be different?

Tav (i) is at the end more confident in their abilities and possibilities in life and Tav (ii) is proud of themselves that they grew into their own person who discovered places and people Tav (i) had never seen and has done things that Tav (i) has never done. Tav (ii) knows to some degree about the other life they have lived and were worried to not be able to become someone else, to make the same mistakes a second time. But they didn’t.

Companions

96. Does Lae Zel remain loyal to Vlaakith, or does she follow Orpheus? Or neither?

Lae‘zel is dead in both of Tav‘s lives.

97. Does Astarion kill Cazador? Does he remain a vampire spawn or does he complete the ritual?

Yes, he kills him and remains a spawn.

98. What does Gale want? The crown for himself? For Mystra? Or has he given up on chasing power?

Tav (i)’s Gale wanted a life with them, he truly did, but the allure of the crown’s magic was eventually stronger than him, the promise of unlimited power, of being able to stand tall and proud next to Mystra, of finally being worthy of love and adoration got to him in the end and he became a god.

While Gale of Tav (ii) wanted only them, he chose them over Mystra’s commands, them over the crown, them over godly powers. And the crown rests in the river somewhere between the debris of the Iron Throne…

99. Did Wyll get freed from Mizora? Did he save his father?

Yes and yes.

100. Did Karlach get upgraded? Did she turn Illithid? Did she return to Avernus? If so, did Tav join her, or Wyll, or both?

Dammon left the grove before he could meet Tav (i)’s Karlach and died when the Last Light Inn fell before he could help her. So this Karlach didn’t get any upgrades. Karlach remained herself and went to Avernus with Tav after the big brain battle.

While Tav (ii)’s Karlach got all of the possible upgrades and went with Wyll to Avernus after the brain was defeated.

101. Did your Tav recruit Minsc? What's their opinion of him?

Yes. Tav thinks he is wonderful and a joy to be around. They love his matter of fact optimism and mental and physical strength. Tav (i) only regrets recruiting him not long before defeating the brain and not having a lot of time to get to know him and spend time with him.

Tav (ii) corrected that mistake.

102. Did Shadowheart turn to Selûne or did she remain loyal to Shar? Did she free her parents or let them go?

Shadowheart turned to Selûne and Tav (i)’s Shadowheart let her parents go while the Shadowheart of Tav (ii) freed them.

103. Did Tav help Jaheira with the Harpers?

Well, both Tavs discovered the shapeshifters that had infiltrated the harpers and took them down. But neither of the Tavs stayed behind in the city to help rebuild it. (Tav shares Jaheira’s sentiments about the city and is very glad to not have bounds like she has in her children to the city that would force Tav to stay. Tav (ii) is not that comfortable in big cities and only lives in Waterdeep because of Gale (he is their home!) and gets out of it whenever they can to do their druid business and to return into Gale’s arms in the evening. And Tav (i) is either in Avernus (a place where they can at least get their rage and grief out of them without consequences) or is later living in Reithwin that is close and surrounded by nature and much more to their taste than Baldur’s Gate.)

104. Who did your Tav romance? How did this romance develop throughout the game? What happened at the end?

Gale in case anyone missed this until now

Tav (i) thought that everything was going and developing very well for them and Gale until it wasn’t anymore. Until the sweet whispers of the luring call of the Netherese magic of the crown git the better of him, his hurt and his ambitions and became more important to him than the future the two of them had dreamed about. More important than the love and the future they had promised each other.

And Tav (ii) tore the fabric of time and space apart for a chance to not loose him even if it meant that they had to take each step of the journey again. Tav (i) was there in their dreams, urging Tav (ii) to not make their mistakes and in rare occasions were they in Gale’s dreams, too. Pleading with him, begging him to not let the false promises of ambition and the magic of the crown that the orb’s magic reacted to get the better of him. Do not listen to it’s sirens’ call, Gale, it’s not real. Unlike Tav, who sleeps next to you, they are very much real…

And Gale let the crown go in the end, let the false dreams of godhood rest alongside of it in the river and traded it for the certainty of Tav (ii)’s hand and heart in his. And this time turned he away from the crown after the battle and not from Tav.

And Tav (i) finally found peace.

105. Anything you want to say about your Tav! Give a random headcanon, answer a random question, say whatever you want!

Tav (i)’s and Gale’s song is now “The night we met” by Lord Huron and it’s all Gale’s fault. And “Tempting Fate” by Beth Crowley. Otherwise it would have been “Turning Page” by Sleeping At Last.

Tav (ii)’s and Gale’s song is “Bloom (Eros)” by Sleeping At Last and Peter Hollens’ cover of “For the dancing and the dreaming” and “First Light” by Hozier, while “Turning Page” fits them too of course, it’s just not ‘their song’.

Generally speaking have I a lot of Hozier and Sleeping At Last in my BG3 playlist for Gale and Tav. (Do you have a song for your Tav and their lover? I would love to hear it if you do.)

Both Tavs and Gales share for the time of their relationship in the shadow cursed lands “Magic Moment” by Glockenbach & Chris de Sarandy.

And “Cheri Cheri Lady” by Modern Talking is Tav (iii)’s song. They are the only one of the Tavs to have their own song. And while I don’t have a Tav and Gale song for them together yet have I feeling that “Save the last dance for me” by The Drifters is a very hot candidate. We’ll see… 💜

Fun fact: The biggest difference between me and Tav is that I am 100% a big city girly (genderneutral). Tav not liking big cities is definitely something that came to me about them while playing and is based on who they are as a character (especially a druid) in the story and not who I am in this world.

And if you are wondering whether there will be a Tav (IV), well, I will send them into the ring when patch 8 airs. We will get a new circle (circle of the stars 🥹) for the druids to choose and of course will I want to try it. 💚 Maybe I will even play them in Tactician mode, maybe I’ll have the experience and skills needed for it by then… 😱

#tav ask list #bg3 tav #my tav #gale x tav #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #about myself #bg3 gale #galemance #sneaky god gale #professor gale

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peanutbutter-doodles · 11 months ago

Note

An idea for a stardemon fic i had i wanted to share if you wanted an idea :D)) where Gene has a terrible dream paul died and it all seemed too real for him he rushes to find Paul to make sure he is safe 😢?

You just opened up pandora's box, so here it is!

The dream

summary: ‘’Yes…Paul?’’

I spoke, breathing out as my lungs were being crushed as the snake went on while I faintly heard the sound of a click.

‘’Why weren’t you there for me?’’ He stated, before….

His face started to burn and melt to smithereens, his skin peeling and falling, charred to the bone. Screaming and repeating the words he spoke as his hand grabbed my neck, starting to choke me as i stared and gargle my words, pressing his inflamed fingers into my skin as tears streamed down and the eyes of his face reflected once more as the words got louder and the burnt face plagued my mind the more i look at him burning.

⚠️Warnings: all just a dream, hurt/comfort, Angst, character death (not really), graphic depictions of gore and violence, symbolism, crying, nightmares, Open/Ambiguous ending, First person point of view, explosions, fire, screaming, the r word is dropped twice, Ask to tag. Who let me cooked in this~

Smells like a roast- i'll go.

TheDreamonAo3

Reblogs and Comments, Are deeply appreciated!

Loud explosions rang throughout the heavy traffic, deafening my ears as they rang painfully as I watched in horror from the sidelines ahead of me. Fire engulfed it entirely in what it seems to be a limousine, well used to be as the fire went up widely in a haze and the burning smell of smoke and ash went up my nose as I breathed it in when I rolled down my window. Trying to see more, the cars and trucks were becoming chaotic and sporadic as they tried to get away from the flames and avoid getting caught in the crossfire. The skies were becoming dark and demonic, smoke filling the air. I peaked out, to look ahead.

Trying to see more, the whole scene. My ears were ringing violently, I almost thought I was deaf for a sec until I heard a gruesome screaming that made my eyes widened so much they were bugging out. A scream I wished I never heard, rattling me to the very core of my being as the screaming got worse and worse every minute the flames went up, almost taking some care and people with it as they went around or escape it deadly grasped. A scream that made my heart sank and felt….

Familiar….too familiar and…

One that I knew too well.

Peaking out, further from the window. Narrowing my eyes directly at the fire, some parts being burned, broken or melted, I looked side to side. Praying to myself silently that it wasn’t who I thought it was, holding my breath, heart was pumping fast, sweat dripping down my face, I looked, took a breath and to my horror, in front of my eyes. I saw him….

Trying to get out of the limo that trapped him in the fire, screaming out for anyone to come rescue or to help as blood was streaming down down his face, looking battered up, a look of helplessness and fear on his face. Trying to get out by banging on the windows, screaming horrifically and bashing his head violently on the window at one point, only the blood came out and dripped more and the pain worsened in him and….

Me.

I gasped, undoing my seatbelt as quickly as I could but to no avail I couldn't. It was tightening up against me, not letting me, slithering all over me like a python, pressing and pressing into me. Suffocating me, i struggled to breath, i couldn’t speak as i looked away in horror as more explosions went off, the fire going up more like a monster each time i heard the gruesome screaming and the image of him bloodied penetrating my mind made me more scared and horrified as the scene become more…

Grim.

My heart beated violently, more sweat brewed and trickled down my face each time, struggling the breath each time seatbelt pressing more of their ferocious strength onto me making choke on the smoke and ash filling my throat the mere second i opened my mouth to cry or speak out to call out but no matter how hard i tried i couldn’t. Not at all, as my eyes were raped the image of him more bloodied up and screaming so horrifically it echoed in my ears, making them bleed as i tried to lift my hands to cover or reach for the handle the belt hugged me tighter and slithered around my neck, choking me.

Making me still look at the scene that’s reflecting in my eyes like a mirror, the skies are dark enough I can't see anything but the flames in front of me, my vision got cloudy as my ability to breath was becoming harder to achieve the more I struggled. The smell poisoning my lungs like a cigarette being smoked to death, the back of my throat closing up slowly like my vision and the horrid sounds of him burning were raping me more and more the second he bashed and screamed in that limo.

Burning up in the flames, melting into nothing as liquid.

Breaking me, tears peaked out.

Shakily breathing, mind full of him.

My ears are ringing, blood dripping down the sides of my neck.

The world is burning, in front of me and he’s….

Burning with it, as I am too.

I’m Screaming out mentally, him psychically.

It hurts….

I blinked and….

There he was.

He’s standing in front of me, like nothing’s wrong.

All beautiful, hair done to the nines, wearing the outfit that made him look like the true starchild he was, brown eyes shining like the various necklaces i wear day to day, the brownish-black curls flowing the wind while he shows off the smile that can bring a mother to tears with how cheerful it was, brightening up with his whole very being as he leaned his face down to me, the flames are gone, yet i still smell and taste the fire.

Thus feel the seatbelt course around me, moving. As more oxygen left my body, losing the will to hold on while he stared and smiled at me, his hand touching my cheek and caressing it softly with the hand felt soft as dove and made the rest of smell like a blooming rose in the garden in the bright sunlight, surrounded by dandelions and sunflowers. Getting a taste of such beauty after everything I've seen up to this point, I leaned into his touch.

Becoming calm and at ease, thinking everything is all over and done with until he spoke with a voice that I came to know and love dearly with that sweetness to it, now it was…

Bitterness.

‘’Gene.’’

He said my name, and I responded, everything went silent when I said for the first time…

‘’Yes…Paul?’’

I spoke, breathing out as my lungs were being crushed as the snake went on while I faintly heard the sound of a click.

‘’Why weren’t you there for me?’’ He stated, before….

Half of his face is gone while the other is peeling, part of his skull is showing along with his brain, the hair turning darker like my vision was as he insulted me and asked me that questioned over and over again with a hoarse voice as parts of him were being melted and melded together on him, bringing him with me.

Torturing me, with the flames over and over.

Repeating my name, switching to different ways of saying it.

Hugging me, as we burned together.

Into the dark abyss alone, I blinked again and….

‘’It’s your fault.’’

The flames burst out, as….

The car exploded with…

Us, in it.

‘’Gene, what’s wrong?’’ He asked, as I stood at his doorstep at three am in the morning, soaking wet, dead tired, afraid and worried, a mess disgustingly so. While he looked beautiful like he did in my dreams, wearing the purplish fluffy robe. Tied up, his curls all messed us from sleeping a few minutes ago before I came here, wearing slippers and rubbing his eyes. Looking up at me, with a concerned look. ‘’Gene…You okay?’’ He asked, once again.

I breathed silently, too afraid to speak.

‘’Gene…’’ His hand goes out, touching me.

Almost flinching, I didn't.

‘’Hey, is everything ok?’’ He goes, brown eyes glimmering with the light above us, reflecting in mine almost replacing the violent images in my head as he stares at me, getting more worried each minute. I'm quiet and not responding to anything he does. The dream was so vivid and real that…

I don’t want the thing I dreamt of to be real, as he touched me with his hand. Taking my hand in his, getting frantically scared, trying to talk to me, get through to me, anything that will get me to talk as the skies started to rain down on us while he talked and took me inside to protect us from the rain, leading me into living room where all that remain was nothing except for a empty guitar case and the ceiling fan that was running almost quietly as a mouse.

I watched him, pace silently to himself as he led me to his bedroom but stopped when I didn't move. My emotions were starting to become stronger from hiding them too long, the more I watched him become worried and scared for me, gripping my hand tighter. Trying to get me to move, but I couldn't.

I heard him hitch his breath, turning to me.

His eyes trembled, as he spoke.

‘’Gene, please tell me what’s wrong. Are you hurt? Did something happen at the studio or with Shannon?’’ He asks, asking more questions. Trying to figure out what the problem was as I just stood there holding his hand, hearing his voice full of kindness instead of bitterness, smelling full of lavender and roses not like ash and smoke, skin so smooth and soft unlike the one that I felt in my dream.

Standing with and in front of me, not burning.

Not engulfing me with flames, or tainting me with words.

Not plaguing me with a violent image, instead with a heavenly one as I looked at him.

My mind racing with thoughts, my heart beats slowly as I breathed in the scent silently.

I spoke out.

‘’I’m sorry.’’ I said, he looked up at me.

‘’Your, what?’’

‘’I’m sorry….’’ I repeated, tears peaking out. Pulling him by the hand, into my arms. Embracing him, as he looked up at me all confused and worrisome, as I hugged him tighter. Feeling him again, making sure he and I won't burn away in flames or in ash, tearfully crying. Tears sliding down my face and onto his shoulders. His looked down at it, then at me. ‘’I’m sorry…’’ I repeated, hugging him more.

Almost squashing him, but i have too.

To make sure this is real, and he is…

Real, in mind and body.

My fingers dug into him, I sobbed.

‘’I’m sorry…’’

‘’What, for?’’ he asked, gently. Touching my face with his hand, wiping away the tears with his thumb. ‘’What are you sorry?’’ he softly goes, wiping more tears away as i tearfully choked on my words and the image of him right now painted my mind. ‘’Gene?’’

‘’For, Everything.’’

‘’Like what?’’ he whispers, and i…just…hold him in my embrace as we just stood there in the middle of the room as the clock ticked while the sound of rain became louder and the thunder started, i took breaths trying to calm myself while i felt his hands slid and wrap themselves around my neck gently instead of painfully.

I shooked, he didn’t notice.

‘’Like what, Gene?’’

I didn’t say anything after that, i held him in my arms as i cried out in his for a hour as the thunder and rain got louder, he comforted me with his looks and touches as were silent with each other and stood in the room for as long as possible till the tears didn’t come anymore and standing got more tiring like the both of us.

So, he led me into his room where it was full of darkness just like mine except for the dim light on the nightstand that was blessing the room with it presence like he’s blessing mine right now, he didn’t ask anything after that just was looking at me as we both laid in bed side by side, surrounded by pillows and blankets.

Both of our eyes were shutting, those images were still there but the image of him sleeping beautifully in front of me was taking them away as I looked at him and didn’t turn away from him, shuffling closer to him, looking him down and up.

Moving those curls away, seeing that face.

I breathed out, he snored.

I stared, he slept.

I spoke, he awakened.

His eyes staring into mine, reflecting.

‘’Are you real?’’ i asked, he tiredly looked at me.

‘’Huh?’’

‘’Are you real?’’

His eyes moved, side to side then at…

Me.

‘’I’m real.’’

‘’Are you sure?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’Will you still be here when i wake up?’’ I asked, caressing his cheek.

‘’Yes.’’ He answered, almost closing his eyes.

‘’You promise?’’

‘’I promised, always.’’ He said, closing his eyes.

As I did, except this time…

I saw heaven, instead of hell.

#butters speaking #kiss #kiss band #kiss army #kissblr #paul stanley #gene simmons #stardemon #kiss fanfiction #I'm in the mood to torture #this popped up at the right time~#good times~

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