#how could i not make that connection
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LEVII'S JEANS - Beyoncé // Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down - Fall Out Boy
#im still going thru it but first off#penis blown clean off#secondly#sorry i make everything about fall out boy do u still think im hot 😔#how could i not make that connection#parallels#fob#beyonce#cowboy carter#<- lmk if u want me to tag it as anything else for blacklisting spoilers purposes
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#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki spoilers#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#owenwilsonedit#marvel#dianagifs#😩😭#what... in the most tragic of romances did i just witness#gotta rewatch tomorrow but cannot BELIEVE how okay i am with everything atm???#their story clearly isn't done their burden is obviously going on without each other and they exist fundamentally connected#they've lost everything but being able to see mobius every step of the way is enough for loki to make the sacrifice#and mobius left for his timeline with no other purpose than to make sure loki could do just that#now they're lost without each other?? the only thing mobius can do is exist for a moment in loki's creation i'm UNWELL#god this is the star crossed angst that's gonna keep me going for the rest of my LIFE they're my everything#loki s2 spoilers
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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new anatomy
#I CANT STOP DRAWING THEM#OBSESSEEDDD#sorry i want the body horror so bad i have to make it happennnn#this is barely#body horror#but i guesssss#but im thinking about how even if the wings are just a one time thing his back could be so fucked up from all that#my guy AT LEAST got a bunch of new muscles and tendons in there and bone connecting in a weird way hhehhehehehe#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fanart#sonic x shadow generations#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#sth#sonic the hedgehog#the wings are kind of a pain in the ass to draw tho dffggfdg#i've seen people draw them better i need to make a reference collection from other people's art
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been thinking about these two a lot lately
#you ever think about what could have been?#what was done to these two when they put epsilon in wash's head#it was terrible and it connected them in a way but how do you even put it into words?#i wish they'd gotten more time to talk about it#so now i have to make up for it by drawing it#rvb#red vs blue#agent washington#rvb church#rvb epsilon#my art#i dont know if this is ship art but you can interpret it however you want#im just thinking. the little peaces they've left in each other
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Something I miss from earlier eras of the creative side of the internet was things just being unabashedly low-budget. Just all unashamedly amateur, unprofessional, ‘I don’t own a good camera but I have a story to tell you’, ‘I can’t afford a good mic but I have a song to sing for you,’ ‘I don’t have any kind of background in editing or lighting and I only just picked up this guitar last Tuesday but here’s an entire musical me and my friends wrote about our favourite book, we filmed it on a potato and put it up on YouTube in ten minute segments because we thought it was pretty funny.’
#everything felt so much less like Content then#and as someone who wants to share creative stuff online#it’s now incredibly daunting thinking about doing that bc#especially as a disabled person who can’t work full time#it feels almost impossible to extricate art from being Content#like there’s this immense pressure to produce things that could pass as professionally produced by a team of educated people#and to make smart decisions so that somehow eventually you can profit off your art#and instead of it being a ‘hey look at my silly little song’ it becomes#competing in an over saturated market already dominated by the nepotism afforded by wealth and connections#and it feels like it would very difficult not to measure my personal satisfaction with how a certain piece of art turned out#by how much attention it got online#even though I genuinely have zero desire to be famous and it sounds like a complete nightmare#anyway I’m gonna have ice cream for dinner how about you guys#hmp42
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eddie diaz is truly a better person than i could ever be, because if my parents parentified me when i was a child and i was expected to step up and be the "man of the house" at age 10 or whatever that bs was, and then when i had my ACTUAL child whom i am ACTUALLY responsible for and am raising (something that i WANT to do and LOVE doing because hey, i LOVE my kid), and my parents where then like "you have no idea what you're doing. we should raise your kid. how could you think that you could ever do this" el paso simply would no longer exist. it would be burned off the map from the rage of it all. it would be fucking nuclear. if season 8b isn't just eddie eviscerating his parents for 10 episodes straight, then what's the point of it all? just to suffer??
anyways. good night to everyone except to ramon and helena diaz. you two are always welcome to go fuck yourself.
#eddie diaz#911 abc#diaz family#ramon diaz#helena diaz#the maddie kidnapping arc in 8b is just the diaz parents kidnapping all the people in eddie's life bc they don't trust him#anti diaz parents#this isn't a groundbreaking connection but i realized when driving how fucked it is that they made eddie be a parent as a kid#and now they keep fighting him when he actually has his own kid#ramon and helena pls blow up#8b spec#not really. but also what IF#eddie cage fighting era but it's just him vs his parents#i could go on forever the diaz parents make me so angry#diaz parents
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I know Heimerdinger's Christian Linke's favorite character, and I sort of tolerated it in s1, but now it feels like things are a little too indulgent. Heimerdinger gets to team up with Ekko to launder his reputation through Ekko and the Firelights. Heimerdinger gets the first narrative game and second character teaser in the promotional cycl. Heimerdinger gets to SING A SONG that's included on the s2 Arcane soundtrack (Spin the Wheel).
Maybe I'd be less annoyed if the show at least did more to acknowledge Heimerdinger's failings as a leader, but his character description can't even do that. This is how the official Arcane website describes Heimerdinger:
"Heimerdinger warned the Piltover Council about the dangers of using magic without tangible solutions for safeguarding its use. Learning from his mistakes with Jayce, Heimerdinger inspires Ekko to keep looking for a solution and works with him to solve the problem, instead of just offering advice."
That's not Heimerdinger's main problem! The problem is the fact he's the person most singularly responsible for the state of Zaun and Piltover. It feels like the show and the cast are just dancing around the fact that Heimerdinger technically has the highest body count in the show (Day of Ash, pollution, extreme poverty, etc). The one time someone puts him to task (Jayce), the show makes it seem like Jayce is wrong or overstepped, and yeah he did do it for Viktor's sake, but Jayce was right! Heimerdinger's bad at his job, he shouldn't be in a leadership position if he's a bad leader.
#arcane#arcane ramble#heimerdinger#they probably didn't include heimer in the scene where the council gives the greenlight for enforcers#to shakedown zaun#but inaction is still a choice it's still a failing politically and morally#it still makes him look bad and i don't know if the showrunners really get WHY#that's why the decision to have Ekko be paired with Heimerdinger is so baffling#it ignores the weight of the Heimerdinger's impact as a leader and is frankly a disservice to Ekko's character#and really any character from zaun or even piltover that cannot take the 2 nanoseconds it requires to recognize how heimerdinger failed them#and the explanation that ekko respects heimerdinger as an inventor and they connect as such is kind of ridiculous#does that mean if silco had an engineering degree suddenly he and ekko could be bffs?#alright I've said my piece about this oversized troll doll#maybe I'll say more after s2#almost definitely#also I'll always be on Jayce's side for kicking heimerdinger out#he was objectively rught that heimerdinger shouldn't be there#Heimerdinger's still president of the Academy he's just not council member#why work in policy if you're uniterested politics?
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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Curtwen Week Day 6: Happy Ending
#I like to believe that there is a universe where they get to grow old together#just one#look once upon a time I read a fic that had me bawling my fuckin eyes out where they get to grow old together#I do want to say that I believe in personal growth and I think that Curt can 100% have a happy ending without Owen- where he can grow#away from that experience and where he can healthily cope with the trauma he ended up with#where he can find solace in something other than alcohol and where he can find it in himself to forge new relationships and build his#connections with people like Tatiana#etc etc#I just want to make it known that this is one of many happy endings that could happen#(amongst the several sad ones that I know also exist)#ALSO I wanted to draw the old men and I do what I want#but yeah something something if the universe is infinite /ref#maybe this is a universe where the banana incident never happened and they were able to retire together#ough#the curtwen feels are really getting me today#I adore them#also I used a new brush ive been having fun with this past week#doesn’t it look cool?#I really like drawing with it and I like how it looks so#we might be seeing more of this one in the future#although 6b is still my guy#damn y’know hypothetically- if Owen (depending on the au) and Curt lived to be in their 60s (at least) they would witness the first Pride#god can you imagine that?#At the very least Curt being around for stonewall and everything that came after that with queer rights#FUCK anyways#fun fact: a group of frogs is called an army#isn’t that cute#reminds me of that one person on TikTok that raised like a thousand frogs- they had a literal army of frogs#crazy#curtwen week
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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going absolutely insane about this
he has so much adoration in his eyes THAT MAN IS IN LOVE
the writers completely failed when it came to writing his ACTUAL love interest
bro wants to get married and have babies and grandbabies with Erik Lehnsherr
he’s already planned ahead 😨🤯
thank you James Mcavoy for giving us head over heels in love Charles Xavier😌🙏
#for some reason i dont have eriks side of the picture 🤔#if i knew how to properly put thoughts into words and have them make sense i would write an essay about the failure of writing that is moira#my hatred towards her has kind of mellowed i just need to see her as just an independent character that has her own story#specifically one that isnt connected to a man#they just had to age down her other love interest 😾🤨#we could of had sean and moira 😭😭😭#well i guess its charles’s fault for being able to attract anyone#sighh 😔#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#professor x#magneto#wish does not shut up#moira mactaggert#xmcu
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The difficulty is to convince someone else he is really part of you.
DANIEL CRAIG and DREW STARKEY in QUEER (2024), dir. Luca Guadagnino
#daniel craig#drew starkey#william lee#eugene allerton#queer 2024#queer#tearing myself to pieces it's about the yearning!!!!#the loneliness the sheer disembodiment of desperation in wanting to connect then facing the fear of what comes next once you actually do#god i could go on and on but this movie makes me too emotional it's just so VISCERAL...#and i mean it goes without saying but how stunning are they together 😭💖#luca guadagnino#lgbtqedit#movieedit#dcraigedit#dianagifs
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i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode
#trafficblr#life series#hermitcraft#qsmp#the drought's been crazy i had to make qsmp x life series/hermitcraft you don't understand i literally had to#i literally cannot tag all of the cubitos without going over the limit so i'm gonna use them to rant about these doodles instead#when i tell you that i think dl!pearl would've loved tilín i'm telling you i think she would've LOVED them like.#something about just wanting to find love at every turn but feeling unwanted spdihgpisadhfpa. and also tilín's name is similar to tilly LOL#the jelly egg is just like if the double life jelly pandas were just an egg that scar loves with all his heart and grian reluctantly accept#i think out of all the duos in qsmp. the one i would want to see in the dl soumate premise the most is slimeriana. it's the dysfunctionalit#i made a post in the past about pac and tango being my fav cubitos bcs they were both crazy cartoonish and like scientists#but it kinda felt like a disservice to leave mike and zedaph out because to me they're argubly crazier and more cartoonish#missa and tim are paired bcs i just really wanted an excuse to draw the wet cats and it just so happened they both have relations to death#skizz and jaiden as the lawyers who were SHOCKINGLY good at their jobs like they cooked with that one#(was also gonna draw joe and roier as bad lawyers but i was running outta steam)#someone's already made a post about grian and (el) quackity and their eye entities so not much elaboration needed there#fit and etho just give the same vibe to be as a dude who has a reputation and is well-known and seems intimidating#i also made fit's arms way too skinny and i don't like it...but i'm not gonna go back and change it now i spent embarassingly long on this#but then his silliness is brought out by The Narrative#foolish and bdubs is one of my favorite drawings because i just knew i wanted to highlight the silly height difference#just realized they're also both god-like figures at least at some point#cellbit and rendog. cat and dog and lore. enough said about their connection.#i couldn't decide who fit etoiles combat hungry anime protagonist vibe best bcs martyn was originally paired with him#but i wanted martyn with phil so i went with my second options: joel and gem#i couldn't draw them mid rage but essentially the title is derived from “WHO KILLED EMPANADA” and “do me a favor. die for me.”#philza minecraft and martyn inthelittlewood. they feel like twins but one is evil (it's martyn)#SOMETHING I FORGOT THAT I WISH I ADDED: BBH AND BIGB AS THE ENTITIES WHO LIE. I HATE MYSELF HOW COULD I FORGET THAT#if i were to pair impulse with someone it would be tubbo? either him or scar would've been with tubbo#and then lizzie i just did not know who i wanted to pair her with. no one really does it like her in my opinion#scott's someone i also had no idea who to put him with he's just so...him...
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oh my god adaine has blue hair and pronouns now
#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#adaine abernant#how did i not connect the dots#how could i not see it#i took copious amounts of weed to make the connection
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“You can’t enjoy being neurodivergent/disabled/having X disorder if it makes you suffer so much! How dare you be making jokes about it!!!” Well you see, your bad days only suck a little bit so you don’t appreciate the good days very much. My bad days suck so much worse, so I only appreciate the good days that much more to compensate.
#like#sorry if you’re offended by me finding joy in things you don’t understand or think should be hated#yes ADD makes it hard to stay on task and get things done and i forget things a lot#yes autism makes it difficult to socialize and i don’t know how to cope with things sometimes#yes being a system is stressful and some of us have harmful behaviors and maladaptive coping mechanisms#but that’s not all it is#ADD lets me hyperfocus and lock in on doing something. and i can make some incredible connections from one concept to another#and autism. my brain works in a way that lets me enjoy things i’m interested in so much more than i could have otherwise#and as a system i get to have silly little guys in my head who help me do things#sorry for hating an experience you don’t have and thus determine as extremely regrettable and horrible#cb writing stuff#neurodiversity#neurodivergent#neurodiverse stuff#neurodivergencies#neurodiverse things#add#adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#attention deficit disorder#system#system stuff#plural#plurality#autism#autistic#actually autistic#autistic things
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