#and as someone who wants to share creative stuff online

[teacupsandcyanide]

Something I miss from earlier eras of the creative side of the internet was things just being unabashedly low-budget. Just all unashamedly amateur, unprofessional, ‘I don’t own a good camera but I have a story to tell you’, ‘I can’t afford a good mic but I have a song to sing for you,’ ‘I don’t have any kind of background in editing or lighting and I only just picked up this guitar last Tuesday but here’s an entire musical me and my friends wrote about our favourite book, we filmed it on a potato and put it up on YouTube in ten minute segments because we thought it was pretty funny.’

[dragonanne4fun]

.

[kleefkruid]

Every fun post on here that encourages people to have hobbies/be creative always gets an avalanche of "Some people are poor Karen" type reactions and respectfully, you're all super annoying. I've never lived above the poverty line and this is a list of hobbies I have that were cheap or entirely free:

Read books: Go to the library, lend a book from a friend

knitting, crochet, embroidery: Get some needles from the bargan store and ask around, people have leftovers from projects they'll happily give you. Thrift stores also often carry leftover fabric and other supplies. And talk about your hobby loud enough and an old lady will show up and gift you their whole collection, because there are way more old ladies with a closet full of wool than there are grandchildren who want to take up the hobby.

Origami/paper crafts: get some scrap paper and scissors, watch a youtube tutorial

walking: put on shoes open door

pilates/yoga/etc: get a mat or just use your carpet, watch a youtube tutorial

Houseplants: look online for people that swap plant cuttings. There are always people giving out stuff for free to get you started. If you're nice enough you'll probably get extra

gardening: You're gonna need some space for this one of course but you can just play around with seeds and cuttings from your grocery vegetables.

aquarium keeping is a bit of an obscure one but I got most of my stuff second hand for cheap or free and now I have a few thousand euro worth of material and plants.

drawing/art: You get very far just playing with bargan store materials. I did my entire art degree with mostly those.

writing: Rotate a cow in your head for free

cooking: again one you can make very expensive, but there are many budget recipes online for free. Look for African or Asian shops to get good rice and cheap spices.

Join a non-profit: Cities will have creative organisations who let you use woodworking machines or screen presses or laser cutters or 3D printers etc etc etc for a small fee. Some libraries also lend out materials.

candle making: You need some molds (cheap), wick, two old cooking pots for au bain marie melting and a ton of scrap candles, ask people to keep them aside for you.

a herbarium, flower pressing: Leaves are free, wildflowers too, ask if you can take from peoples gardens.

puzzles: thrift stores, your grandma probably

Citizen science: look for projects in your area or get the iNaturalist app

And lastly and most importantly: Share! Share your supllies, share your knowledge. Surround yourself with other creative people and before you know it someone will give you a pot of homemade jam and when you want to paint your kabinet someone will have leftover paint in just the right color and you can give them a homemade candle in return and everyone is having fun and building skills and friendships and not a cent is exchanged. We have always lived like this, it's what humans are build to do.

And all of it sure beats sitting behind a computer going "No stranger, I refuse to let myself have a good time."

Anyway I'm logging off bc I'm making some badges for a friend who cooked for me and then I'm going to fix some holes in everyones clothes.

[r3starttt]

Streamer! Ellie | M.list

Pinterest

Streamer! Ellie who builds Lego sets at least once a month on live because she’s obsessed with them and has already bought half Lego store (there’s a whole room for all the Lego boxes and other shit she’s bought)

Streamer! Ellie who does unboxing streams for the most stupid things she could found online.

Streamer! Ellie whose hands made her viral after doing a tattoo tour

Streamer! Ellie who got banned many times because of bothering kids or showing +18 content by mistake during stream (also has lots of copyright issues, she just doesn’t get it)

Streamer! Ellie who almost revealed her face many times for the most stupid reasons but eventually did it out of nowhere. Literally starting a stream with the camera pointing at her face (it ofc went viral everywhere bcs she’s hot duh)

Streamer! Ellie whose merch’s extremely expensive and super random but somehow nice and worth the money (she’s deffo rich idc)

Streamer! Ellie who always thanks all the gifts and stuff people give her and always does special things for her fans like saying happy birthday to someone or congratulate them about something ( talks a lot before and after playing any game. She interacts a lot with people)

Streamer! Ellie who’s super awkward if someone recognizes her on the streets (always gets caught wearing the most hideous clothes)

Streamer! Ellie who wanted an orange cat but ended up getting one she found on the street

Streamer! Ellie whose tik tok acc became all videos of her cat (everyone loves them duh)

Streamer! Ellie who loves her fans and it’s super supportive with the fan accs

Streamer! Ellie who also gets freaked out by all the tweets and fics and edits and shit people post about her because everyone’s way too “creative” with their comments

Streamer! Ellie who vapes excessively on stream and gets bothered by the chat a lot

Streamer! Ellie whose streams are always super long and most times end by the morning

Streamer! Ellie who eats everything but actual food (pure ramen and coke, also eats lots of snack throughout the day)

Streamer! Ellie whose apartment is strangely clean and tidy

Streamer! Ellie who once mentioned she had a sketchbook and was forced to share some of it (everyone went crazy with how talented she was)

Streamer! Ellie who did an iq test and got a nice score (didn’t stop bragging about it since then)

Streamer! Ellie who also brags a lot about how smart she actually is and how her grades at school were nicer than everyone thought

Streamer! Ellie who has a fake tattoo and stickers collection

Streamer! Ellie who secretly loves hello kitty

Streamer! Ellie who shamelessly wears the same clothes for days (somehow never smells bad)

Streamer! Ellie who only has weird socks that always shows on stream

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for instantly banning someone from my Discord server for using AI to “inspire” art?

🎨⚙️

I (16F) have a small Discord server for friends and friends of friends. We usually share creative works with each other there, like one friend makes music, another writes, I draw, etc.

So M (14F) was invited by a friend about a year ago and has been pretty chill. She’s always been super enthusiastic about my art, complimenting it a lot, etc. She started posting art a bit after joining, and it was clear she was a beginner. At one point though, her drawings jumped from plain sketches to stuff with backgrounds, etc.

Last week another member/friend O (15?NB) asked where she got the idea for a background of a drawing from because it was unique. M just casually said she used AI to generate images she wanted and then drew them in her own style for the backgrounds of her drawings. Like “calm blue alien landscape,” “underwater coral cartoon style,” etc.

I kind of hopped in here and asked why she would do that because AI art is stolen. M said she just wanted to “have art as cool as mine” and was sad about her skill level, which seemed like BS and guilt tripping to most of us. I banned her and blocked her right after without saying anything else.

O’s reaction was basically “wtf” and they thought she didn’t deserve to be banned for that. I replied that I had made it clear I despised AI art for stealing artists works, and even if M was redrawing them it was still theft and the AI was still robbing hard effort from artists. O said I was being unreasonable and has been silent since.

I asked a couple IRL friends who said I overreacted, but nearly all of my online friends agree with me. Maybe this isn’t the most unbiased platform to ask, but it’s better than Reddit. So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[cilil]

Hi, do you have any advices for budding writers on AO3 or here?

Hey! :)

I've given this some thought and compiled what I hope might be some helpful pointers, but if there's anything else or anything specific you want to hear more about, feel free to ask again. Also I'm assuming this is about the amazing craft of fanfic and not, uh, building a platform or whatever (I wouldn't be very helpful with that, I'm a nobody x)).

Share what you feel comfortable sharing.

So since you're asking about budding writers on AO3 and Tumblr, I take it you're at a point where you feel comfortable sharing your writing online, which is amazing. Nevertheless, I feel the need to once again mention (just for anyone who may be in the same or a similar situation) that it's completely alright not to be comfortable with it (yet) or not to share everything you write. I share almost everything simply because I'm annoying and it makes me feel accomplished and since I've grown pretty comfortable with it, I might as well; but not everyone feels that way and feelings also change. It's completely alright to write just for yourself or a small circle of friends.

Don't worry too much about "being good".

I will be the first to admit that I deeply relate to struggling with perfectionism when it comes to writing (and other creative pursuits). However, as someone who's been reading fic for many years, tends to be into quite niche and obscure things sometimes and is rarely spoiled by big fandoms' abundance of food, I want all writers, especially new ones, to know that you don't have to write the most amazing, perfect, publishing-ready pieces. What matters is your passion and creativity, which will show in your writing regardless of skill level. Not to mention that fic is free and in fact a tool for many to experiment.

That's not to say you can't strive to improve or be good - by all means, I find it admirable if you want to hone your craft and make progress as you continue to write. Just don't let perfectionism ruin your fun and stifle your creativity.

How to get better without trying overly hard.

Aside from just writing, writing and writing (that is the most important part though), how do you improve without making it a point to do so? Well, if it works for you to read/watch guides or you enjoy specific writing exercises, that's great, but one thing that I find gets overlooked a lot in writing spaces is simply: Reading. Just reading for fun.

I find that I often discover little things in other people's writing that I really like and then I think to myself "wow, that's really neat how they did that, maybe I could take a page out of their book" (pun intended) and make it a point to pay attention to these things when I write. Essentially, it's like creating a nice patchwork blanket which is your style, made up of your own voice and preferences as a writer and cool stuff you picked up on the road.

Let me just name some examples, which, yes, are also an excuse to shamelessly blow some writer friends of mine a well-deserved kiss of appreciation. @sauron-kraut writes incredibly polished short stories with beautiful wording and atmosphere that have a lot of little hidden things to discover and dissect, and I want to steal her ability to set the stage and hide those easter eggs. @a-world-of-whimsy-5 is an absolute legend when it comes to writing medieval and medieval-adjacent stuff, and I learned so much from her fics. @i-did-not-mean-to has a way of writing with such esprit and wit that I always end up in a good mood after, a style of narrative voice I've adored for over a decade, and I've greatly improved my humorous writing in particular thanks to her. @crackinthecup has the marvelous ability to craft extremely emotionally evocative scenes, which have encouraged me to be more courageous and experimental in my sentence melody and structure. @tragedybunny has a way of writing that reminds me of coming home to a warm and comfy place, and I will find out how she did it and how I can do it as well.

So as you can see, it can be super helpful to compare notes with your fellow writers. Never be discouraged by someone else's ability; instead learn and expand your own.

Feedback, criticism and community.

Let me just get one thing out of the way: You don't have to take criticism from everyone. Or at all. As far as I understand, the fanfic community has come to to agree that we're doing this for fun and don't give criticism unprompted/when we aren't sure it's wanted or welcome. As a general rule: Take criticism from those you would also seek advice from. Ask for feedback if you feel comfortable, and if not, that's a valid boundary to have and I will gently smack anyone who presumes to pick apart writing that was made for fun and generously shared with the community for free.

The community aspect, however, should be taken into account on other fronts. While I won't tell anyone they have to interact and believe that, in an ideal world, everyone's writing would just speak for itself, it is helpful to engage with the community. Things you can do (both on Tumblr and AO3 if also applicable/possible) include: Respond to people interacting with your works, interacting with other people's works (for example while you're doing your reading sessions and looking at other writers' styles) and just overall being present, being talkative, going with the flow.

Again, this is not a must. But I will say that pretty much all of us want positive responses and interactions on their work and that just won't work if you expect everyone to show up for you all the time and never show up for anyone else. Engagement, passion and community are our "currency" in the absence of money and reciprocity is an important element of that. A lot of friction and complaints in the fanfic community regarding lack of interaction or entitlement are rooted in misunderstandings of this fundamental principle.

But don't take this in a cynical manner. Seek out what you enjoy, share the joy and passion and you'll make friends just accidentally - which is the part that I find makes fandom on AO3 and Tumblr so much fun! (I don't even want to be a "traditional" author anymore, I want this instead😁)

Find your groove and groove along.

Lastly, make sure your writing is fun for you or else it'll become a chore and eventually get ruined for you as a hobby. This is unfortunately a continuous task as your needs and interests shift - for example you might be in the mood to do an entire drabble challenge one month and during another month you feel so drained that you couldn't do another one. Or you might want to write something different for a change. Or whatever it may be.

Either way, one recent lesson I've learned is that I got too tied up in obligations and it left no space for spontaneous inspiration, so I never got to write what I wanted to write in the moment and it pushed me quite close to burnout. Do yourself a favor and always hold that space for yourself. In practice, this could for example mean that you do one event and on the side write this cool new idea you had, instead of doing three events - which is fun and games until it starts getting too much and you don't have time for your passion projects.

Finding your groove also includes the whole technical aspect, such as which writing programs you use, which device (or none at all), where you write, how to make yourself comfortable, how to get in the right headspace for things. I would also like to encourage all of you to be a bit crazy and whimsical about this: For example I've gone to the perfume store, picked out a scent for a specific character in a specific scene and sniffed it while writing the description several times now. Do what it takes. And say goodbye to your squeaky clean search history - you will research some weird stuff just to get that one line right.

So yeah, these are just my random thoughts on fic writing and what has been helpful in order for me to have lots of fun with this hobby. Happy writing!

[kryptonbabe]

A personal argument in favor of transgression in fandom spaces

Marquis de Sade (1740-1814), would he write Wincest, Reylo and Zadr fanfiction with obsessive yandere mafia boss tropes if he was alive today?

It's so weird for me to come to fandom at my current age (30) and with my background, I was not a very online teenager, I had an art tumblr growing up, but that was very far from the whole Superwholock bubble and discourse. My first interests reading were classic literature and stuff from school and Harry Potter for little bit, then Tolkien for a long time, then science-fiction and transgressive literature, starting with A Clockwork Orange, then Piano Teacher, Bret Easton Ellis, Yukio Mishima, Dennis Cooper etc. I'm a sensitive traumatized person (for reasons I won't explain) and I've been depressed and anxious most of my life, experiencing disturbing intrusive thoughts, so the themes in fiction that interested me were always the things I was most afraid and uncomfortable with in real life, traumatic events close to me that I had no other way to explore and no one else to talk to about. In a way transgressive art was always there for me, showing me how evil thoughts and experiences are not an exclusive thing, not a burden I must carry alone, those artists and writers also cared and thought about those things in meaningful ways, that was a relief. Slowly and with therapy I learned to organize my intrusive thought as creative thoughts, ideas I could use to paint or write, and this really really helped me.

The thing is I started to get interested in comic books too, this by the age of 20, reading them by myself and sharing my ideas with some close friends who didn't care about comics, but would listen to me. I started being active in fandom spaces recently, almost ten years after I started reading comics and, oh boy, is this a different environment. Where the morally ambiguous, weird and transgressive are very close to forbidden, people are divided among anti and proshippers, and exploring heavy themes and disturbing scenarios is frowned upon. I recently read about an Invader Zim artist who was bullied and had to abandon their blog due to attacks to their weird art. As if Comte de Lautréamont, Marquis de Sade, Georges Bataille and I don't know, the fucked up passages of the Bible never existed, to free us from the closed-mindness. It's all so backwards, restrictive and conservative. Not the fact that some people do not want to engage with these themes, you have the right to do so, but we accomplish nothing by judging and hating on people who want to talk about these subjects, who understand the human nature as a complex experience not imune to evil, malice, bizarre impulses and desires.

Talking about these things is different from supporting and agreeing with them, but they are a part of our existence and sometimes expressing awful experiences through art is the only escape someone have. To ignore the worst in us is a conservative attitude that idealizes a perfect conduct and ideal way of being, an hygienist perception of what it means to be human, with a lack of nuance and complexity that is just boring on top of being a form of censorship.

[piracytheorist]

You know what, I don't like to complain about stuff like this. I don't want to sound ungrateful of the attention my posts are getting.

But you know how there's a lot of talk around tumblr, from creators talking about how other tumblr users like their stuff but almost never reblog? Well, there's just something here.

That's a 1-to-5 ratio. And like, you know what? I get it. That one was a meta post with only two images on it, and I understand there are people who aren't interested in having long text posts on their blogs. I get that, and respect that. And hey, it's over 1k notes overall. That's something, right?

But in the SxF fandom in particular, I've noticed a kind of pessimistic stance since a big meta writer left the fandom after they received bullying. And I'm not saying we should ignore or forget the reason they left... but like, if you want to see people write metas, you can support meta writers.

Sadly I notice similar ratios in fanart posts. But I am motivated to keep writing metas because I am certified Analysis Gremlin™ so I'll keep writing no matter what; similarly, fanartists whose posts easily get 2 and 3 thousand notes are motivated to keep going even with such low ratios because hey. 3k notes, right?

But I acknowledge I am an outlier in this, and that there are meta writers who are just (or more) knowledgeable and capable of doing this, but for one reason or another, their posts don't get a lot of attention. Similarly, an artist with the same amount of skill and expression as the popular fanartists could have their art forgotten because people don't bother reblogging stuff they like. Both cases can lead to creators not sharing their creations anymore.

And yeah, metas might not be cool fanart, or heart-wrenching fanfics, or whatever, but meta writing still takes time and effort and we like interaction and acknowledgement just like any other creator out there. It's not like "I'll sit for hours to write this post after I've already sat for hours watching every little detail of the story, and I'll post it online not caring at all how much attention it gets." Whenever I see someone reblog a meta of mine and add the tag "great analysis!" or something similar, I get as giddy as I get when someone leaves a comment on a fanfic of mine. Just because a meta is a little more detached and may appear more "formal" than your average fanart or fanfic, it doesn't mean we as the writers of them are detached from the meta itself; we crave acknowledgement just like any other creator out there does.

So like, yeah. I'm not saying people should find this exact post I'm talking about and spam it with reblogs, nor that they should change the way they work and organize their blog. It's just that, as someone who joined tumblr ten years ago for the sole purpose of writing meta, I have noticed across all those years a big separation in how people interact with meta, and how they interact with fanfic and fanart. And by all means, fanfic and fanart deserve their praise! I'm not saying they don't. But meta posts do too. Literary analysis is a different kind of skill than drawing or creative writing, but it's still a skill, and treating meta posts as those you can just leave a like as a thumbs-up and then completely ignore... that's how you lose meta writers. When you show people that their posts aren't worth reblogging, eventually they stop making them. And can you blame them?

And to be honest, in comparison to my standing as a meta writer in my previous fandoms... I have the impression I'm among the "popular" meta writers in this fandom, despite being anime only and having less than half of the context manga readers have. Still, my posts get a "1 reblog for every 5 likes" ratio. Like, if my posts get such a low ratio, what chances do less popular blogs have?

So if you want more meta analysis, from people with various points of view and experiences, show your support by reblogging their metas.

[quillyfied]

Real talk for a minute because I fucking need this:

I’ve been a fandom nerd since age eight. Formalized when I first got online at age thirteen. My first real fandom was Harry Potter. It was my personality. It was everything. It introduced me to the fantasy genre, which I still haven’t really left. It made me want to be a writer. It made me realize there are stories inside of me that I want to share, that I hope touch someone else as deeply as Harry Potter touched me. Brain chemistry-altering type stuff. Loving Harry Potter is the only thing that extended family members who don’t really know me anymore remember about me. An ornament gifted years ago from an aunt who died suddenly. Thousands of words of writing. Hundreds of hours talking about it with friends and family. Toys, stickers, notebooks, clothes, gifts from others and some bought with money I shouldn’t have spent but did because it made me happy. Core childhood memories with people I don’t talk to anymore but remember so fondly.

It took a long time to be okay with tucking away my Harry Potter things. I disagreed with JKR’s political stances the second I heard them, but I held out hope for longer than I should have. I went through the very real shame and guilt and agony of something so foundational to my sense of self having to become a private, nostalgic sort of sad love instead of the loud, joyous proclamation it had been for years. It took a long time to be okay with losing the connection it brought with other strangers who also loved this story like I do and the giddiness of common ground and common excitement with other human beings. I’m still not okay with how something I still have so much love for is now an indicator of a person’s moral quality. I’m not okay with how my love makes me sad and uncomfortable instead of happy.

I’m a fandom nerd. It’s my biggest hobby and my biggest escape and coping mechanism. In May 2019, the thriving and small Dice Camera Action fandom exploded and then crumbled because of the show’s players’ interpersonal dramas, which in turn exploded and then crumbled me. Fully took out a pillar of my mental health. I learned a lot about parasocial relationships and my own relationship with them, about the dangers of them despite their very normal and common advent.

July 2019, I found Good Omens.

You can infer the pattern: brain chemistry-altering love, thousands of words of fanfic, more money than I had sometimes spent on stickers and plushes and shirts. Creating my very first cosplay, hours and hours talking about it with friends, some very fulfilling new creative relationships. A story that gave me hope, that felt True in the way that all great stories feel when they hit the right emotional chords. I’ve found new stories since then, but Good Omens remains an anchor that found me during a time I desperately needed it.

July 6, 2024.

Real people are more important than fandom. Obviously. I don’t think that’s ever truly in question.

But goddammit, fandom is people, too. Fandom is community. It’s the driving dopamine-sharing communal experience that has shaped my life for twenty years now. There is something in me that pushes back against the idea that the stories that have shaped and affected me so deeply must now be cast aside because their creators are unworthy, and at the same time, I have a hard time enjoying art knowing something on this magnitude taints it. It’s almost religious, in a way; avoid the appearance of evil, cast aside the unclean thing, repent for the sin of loving something made by a bad person.

Fuck you, my love doesn’t require repentance, art and artist can have some degree of separation and what I do and enjoy is nobody’s business.

Fuck you, how dare you give even verbal support to a monster by giving their work, and by extension them, the gift of your attention.

I don’t know how I’m going to handle this one yet, because the situation is more complex than JKR’s. There is still information coming out (more victims coming forward, I think more journalistic investigations under way), and Good Omens wasn’t just NG’s work, not the book and not the show. I’m in mourning. A little stuck and paralyzed. I’m not ready to put away and privatize another love that gave me such joy to be open and proud of. I resent the feeling that I need to or I will not be a Good Person.

In the meantime the bills need paid and my antidepressants need taken.

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh ���� And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[goodboylupin]

Better late than never! Welcome, one and all, to

The 4th Candy Hearts Challenge

A fun, stress-free Wolfstar mini-fest!

(If you remember how this goes , feel free to skip my introductory spiel and check for new rules!)

They��re sold by many companies and known by many names: Candy Hearts, Conversation Hearts, Sweethearts, and Love Hearts. Whatever the brand and whatever you call them, they’re the signature sweet of the season. Sure, you could buy your beloved a box of chocolates, but that’s an option any time of year! Good luck finding these bad boys in November!

Not that candy hearts are bad! Sure, they’re kinda chalky… and they taste stale no matter how fresh you bought them… but it’s not about the taste with candy hearts, it’s about the pastel, the experience, and above all else: the sayings! Who doesn’t remember going through a pack with friends, trying to find the kookiest message? Digging through a box to find one that was just the right level of romantic to give a certain special someone? (And maybe the heartbreak when you received one in turn where the message was just a big, pink smudge?)

Now, candy hearts have been around for a long time. And with a constant rotation of messages so we always got fun variety in a box, they’ve had a lot of sayings.

Through a great deal of internet sleuthing (and a little creativity on my part), I’ve collected over seven hundred of them.

Some are a little raunchy (TEASE ME), and some are downright rude (EW NO). They range from classic (BE MINE) to contemporary (SWIPE RIGHT) to were-at-one-point-contemporary (FAX ME). Some of them are, quite frankly so hyper specific it’s a wonder they made it into circulation at all (ME JULIE BEST MUM).

And they are all, even the weird ones, ripe with potential as fic prompts!

The way this mini-fest works is simple:

From 12:01am EST Feb 1 until 11:59pm EST March 1, drop me an ask containing these emojis: 🍬💕

If you don't want to send an ask from your main tumblr account (or don't have a tumblr account), you can do so anonymously. However, you must include the ao3 handle or tumblr sideblog from which you plan to complete the challenge.

I will shake my Great Big Box of Candy Hearts and pull out a unique candy heart for you and only you!

With your message in hand, create whatever that candy heart inspires and your own heart desires! Fanfic, art, graphics, playlists, head canons, shit posts, interpretive dances, cosplay, meta essays, it’s all great as long as its central focus is on Wolfstar, the relationship between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black!

You can either directly quote your candy heart message in your work or use it as a broader inspiration.

You are allowed to use the same candy heart as inspiration for multiple unrelated works and submit all of them to the fest.

You do not need a beta before submitting your work, but I do encourage you to get one. I want this to be as stress-free an event as it can possibly be, and in my personal experience, it reduces stress to have someone else look over your completed work for at least spelling and grammar so you don’t have to reread your own stuff and psych yourself out before posting. If you don’t have any fandom friends with whom you feel comfortable sharing your fanfiction, there are also online resources to find a friendly stranger (including, hopefully, our discord server — see rule 17). But if ultimately, you’d rather be your own editor, I certainly won’t reject your work!

Include the following caption at the beginning of the tumblr post or AO3 beginning notes: For @goodboylupin's Candy Hearts Challenge. My candy heart prompt was ____. I will not reblog your work or allow it in the collection until you have included the caption.

If posting on tumblr, please make sure the @-tag of your caption is working so I get a notification! It should show up on its own automatically as you type. Also tag the work with #RSCandyHearts, preferably within the first five tags.

If posting on AO3, post your work to the collection and tag it with goodboylupin's RS Candy Hearts Challenge (this tag will show up in the suggestions when you start typing it).

As long as the rules have been followed, I will reblog every work on Tumblr, and leave a kudos on every work on AO3. (If I haven't done so on your work and you see I've been active on this blog, then both the @-notification and #RSCandyHearts tag failed. Send me an ask with a link!)

If, after completing your first work, you want another helping of candy hearts, that’s more than welcome! Since I don’t want anyone to get a sugar crash, there is a two-day wait period between submitting a work and getting a second (or third or fourth or wherever you are) candy heart.

If you find you cannot come up with anything for your prompt, you can drop out and send a new ask to get a different candy heart. However, you need to give it an honest effort for at least one week before I give you a new one.

Works are expected by March 15, but this is a low-stakes, self-posting challenge! If you need more time, just message me or drop an ask. And if you want to drop out, that’s totally fine! I’ll even delete your first ask where you requested a candy heart if you prefer. I only need to know for the sake of my own record-keeping. Let’s all just be honest, considerate, and try to have a good time!

If you need a really long extension: Your candy heart is yours until January of next year, at which point, if I haven't heard back from you with an update or request for extension in the past few months, your prompt is going back in the Great Big Box of Candy Hearts so somebody else can have a go at it. The AO3 collection closes at the same time.

I will keep a masterlist of works pinned on my blog until at least March 22.

There's a discord! Feel free to join to discuss your prompts, your progress, your love of Wolfstar, or just to have another little circle in your sidebar.

Over the past two challenges, there have been a small handful of people who requested a candy heart, did not create anything and did not speak to me any further to tell me they were dropping out or having trouble. I work hard to make everyone a custom graphic and keep this fest running smoothly, therefore: Any creators with multiple instances of ghosting are suspended from getting another candy heart until next challenge.

Since this is not the usual timeframe for #RSCandyHearts, I'd love it if you could reblog this post to signal boost!

My ask box is open now to receive your candy heart requests 🍬💕

[wishhalcyon]

Do you want to read HALCYON?

do you like...FREE BOOK NO STRINGS ATTACHED?!!?!?!?

if so im posting it online! but its not going to be as cleanly edited as my other works.

i only have like, a few things id like to request, and its kind of on an honor system i'm not going to really get mad or upset if you don't do it, but its something really sweet you can do to help me as an author!

but first a description of the book!

book is: about a not nessisarily romantic but definitely bizzarely close feel free to read it however you want im not making anyone kiss project whatever you want onto them, story of a bunny girl superhero with a murder problem , and her wholesome supervillain bestie who wants nothing more than to save her, with fun themes such as found family , memory loss, and of course, miserable children, also the supervillain is a theater kid with a heart of gold and a cup of tea <3

a mix of silly and serious, I put a lot of my heart into it! And it would have been done sooner, but well i kind of got kidnapped so that kind of slowed down most of my writing and other projects for a bit there, it was only for an afternoon, no one got hurt, but it was kind of weird. it was a sort of well intentioned kidnapping though and the lady who did it is getting professional help now which is great, so im just happy she and everyone else is okay :)

I made this book wanting to make a fun world and characters and setting and stuff anyone could enjoy and find interesting, and I think the magic system in place in this lil superhero book (based somewhat on magical girl anime-) will be a fun setting for fanfics and fanart and stuff, and im SUPER excited to see if anyone makes ocs or anything for it because that'd be super cool and I love seeing other people be creative-

anyways onto the rules.

if you read it, please reblog where you found it and that i'm the author, and tell me what you thought!

im posting this online *because i want to interact with people and share what i made with others*, and celebrate other peoples craeativity too in line with that, I dont want to sue you for writing ANY fanfiction or fanart you write about my story, as long as none of you don't try to sue ME if i get inspired by them and or make fanart of them or things like that myself. I want to be an active participant in whatever fandom may or may not form around this, I want to have fun with you guys and enjoy my story WITH you guys. this means you also MAY have more control over how any future things with halcyon goes, and you may be able to help guide some decision making! But I still own halcyon it's not public domain- like i dont nessisarily expect or think i 'deserve' (though it would be so cool) a fandom like that over my book, but i think itd be neat and as someone who really heavily participates in fandom, I really want to be a part of it if i have my own. A lot of times I and other readers are VERY bothered that companies and authors dont litsen to their fans...but oftentimes they legally CANT or theyll get sued.

(Though I still get the final say in any decisions since...my book)

3. If you make anything related to it or post about it at all pretty please @ me, i WANNA SEE ALL OF IT please dont be shy, please ask questions, please say hi to me, Im posting this online because i wanna talk about my blorbos with you, @ing me is like, the reader tax- gimme your headcannons and weird cursed creations, idc if youre photoshopping Acianne into the backrooms ominously or posting about like, alternate universe where Ciero's a rabbit who's wildly daydreaming all of this up, or if youve decided to make thirst traps of hearts, go ahead, @ me, I wanna see it, if i suffer the cost so be it. Carve a watermelon to look like Cieros dad and throw it at the concrete, go splat. just go wild, have fun, just like, no hateful stuff and everyone be nice to each other.

4. im doing this partially with the thought that i could mostly make money off this via selling my own art of it and possibly a game based on halcyon...if so, then i may just post any future books online too, any thoughts guys? are these fair rules? any additions youd add? things like that? thoughts? I also have other books that I plan to publish more traditionally, This is kind of a test to see what works best really. I guess! If this takes off i might stick to free books only, if not, well publishing traditionally it is, whatever I need to do to get by you know? gotta make a living.

the biggest rule is just dont sue me please or pursue me legally im just trying to be a silly lil author who actually engages with their fandom and can get away with it i dont want to steal your stuff, i want to share headcannons with you guys and confirm or deny stuff and give you sneak peaks and PLEASE I JUST WANT TO READ FANFICTIONS WITHOUT BEING SUED IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY I LOVE FANFICTIONS LET ME FANDOM WITH YOU GUYS I DONT WANT TO BE SHADY PLEASE BY READING MY BOOK LETS JUST HAVE FUN PLEASE- CAN WE PRETTY PLEASE ???? FANFICTIONS ARE SUCH A VALUABLE AND EXCITING FORM OF LITERATURE- AND THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY SO PRETTY PLEASE BE NICE THANKS

remember DONT RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE BY SUING ME FOR GIVING YOU SOMETHING TO ENJOY, if you want nice things, don't misuse the nice things!!!! okay? okay so everyone agrees to be nice?...okay then! enjoy!

Ciero/Darling says "Please enjoy chapter 1~"

PLEASE ENJOY CHAPTER ONE I PLAN TO POST THE OTHER CHAPTERS DONT WORRY IM NOT JUST DANGLING A WORM IM JUST TRYING TO EDIT IT AND THERES A LOT OF WORDS SO IT MAY TAKE A BIT OKAY- SO YOURE GETTING IT ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME

: ) enjoy! and tell me your thoughts please <3 all i ask in return for letting you have a free book is some validation and maybe sharing it iwth others if you want-

full book is about 49 almost 50k words :) so look forward to it! it's all written i'm just trying to clean them up with a rough edit through before posting them-

also sorry for emphasising dont sue me so much but im trying to cover myself as much as I can safely I REALLY love writing and my favorite part of it is engaging with my readers, but ive been scared of doing this for a while out of fear thanks to a lot of horror stories ive read online. so please dont be mean : (

[anti-anti-vents]

This is something I feel many people can relate to as it deals with two things specifically one is Proship being divided by pretenders the other is confusion in regards to individuals in proship being divisive. First off you are more then welcome to ignore this if you like but this is only meant to help sire creativity and nip a possible invasive issue in the bud. I was told I was not proship before; the irony is I am, I do not care what you ship, how you ship it, I just want to see people in fandoms just enjoying the fandom and not being all aggressive teeth out at others. I do however when I can encourage people to really get creative with their ship and by creative I mean really creative and just breaking boundaries of what shipping is in a positive way. Write a fanfic in a genre you would not normally go against what the popular tag is just for fun just to enjoy the creative process with something you love. Because I'm not exactly well versed in online lingo when I first heard the phrase Proship I was like "what is that?" After looking it up I was only more confused. This is because there are people out there who will intentionally cause trouble and they will stop at nothing to do so. The best thing a proshiper can do is harden their resolve against these things and just stay away form the divisive stuff. This can be hard to do so when I was asked by someone who believed the divisive lingo form an attacker why I hated X (x being the ship in question and I don't want to out them its not their fault) They were genuinely shocked and embarrassed to find out that I in fact did not hate X I just don not really want to post X on my blog because the divisive hater was a shipper of X who was claiming to be proship. It turns out according to this person my existence and just being me and enjoying my thing without bothering others was a terrible thing to the divisive person. To the divisive one I was the worse inhuman to exist because how dare I promote things other than X. I brought up my confusion about proship with this person who was kind enough to ask we came to the conclusion the False proshiper was not really a proshiper. In the end I was able to stop a toxic rumor before it grew any more nasty even if only in one person. But do not worry for me I am just going to keep being myself in my little corner of the internet enjoying the things I like. And now I know that I am in fact Proship it was just a divisive person who was some odd reason hellbent on harming me emotionally that was saying otherwise. I know my actions (or lack there of) will speak louder then their words, sometimes you have to ignore the noise and just do you. I hope this will help people grow a little more confidence and if not brighten someone's day or just make them feel less awful if they happened to have encountered the same mess.

That sounds confusing and stressful to go through! Glad it’s behind you, and thanks for sharing

[wraithdance]

💕 Positivity prime time! Share five things you love about yourself, four things you're excited about, OR three people you care deeply about and why. Pass this along to someone whose posts make you smile 💕 - @mikichko 💕

Hehehe hi baby! Okay so gonna get a lil gay(er) so under the cut we go! (Did the 3 ppl I care about at the end)

5 things I like about myself

Physically:

1. my beauty marks (I have like 6ish on my face and a big one on my upper lip)

2. my gapped teeth! took me getting braces just for my teeth to shift back a lil to finally think my teeth are unique/special to me lmao (special mention to my ass tho it really does go crazyyyy)

Non physically:

3) my intelligence (interpersonally, emotionally and academically), I think my way of thinking is unique to me and has allowed me to be on incredible platforms and spaces to share my thought processes

4. My creativity!! Who I am and will forever be is an artist. My connection to my life and the world will always start with viewing things as an artist first and foremost! So that gives me a layered view about beauty that I think is unique

5. My capacity to love and hate in equal measures 💀 one thing about it and two things for sure I’m all in when it comes to hating or loving someone or something. It may seem toxic but my word is my bond and my actions are something I never want misconstrued. Also I may not know what it’s like to be ‘in’ love but I can give love like nobodies business lol

3 people I care deeply about:

1. Xavi!!

I’ve already told you and Jess how much I adore you, but I got derailed and never got a chance to cry all over Xavi’s inbox lmao. I appreciate him so much because it’s just been so easy to just talk about shared experiences and get both an honest raw opinion but no judgment. I love cracking jokes and feeding off of each others energies to one up the other on the crazy nasty shit we can say lmfao.

I’ve learned a lot from him in such a short amount of time. Having someone be very vocal about not allowing me to make myself small or even challenging some of the stuff that is still toxic/unwoke from my upbringing has been really impactful for me. I don’t feel like I have to be perfectly together on a pedestal with him and it does still make me wanna balk in terror but I love my lil angel face 😭

2. Wren/Void!!

Not that I don’t appreciate them both and recognize them as separate individuals but they are like the fun part of a Kit Kat when they’re together lmaoo!! Both are so immeasurably cool and I’m fascinated by their brains so much!

Wren is such a sweetheart and the one person I think I would like to hug without absolutely having a touch repulsed avoidant fit about it lmaooo. They are so kind to me and half my jokes are because I’m trying my best to make them laugh so I cackle while typing often. I don’t think we would be allowed in the same room or else we’d for sure start some shit 😭

Void puts my wack ass cool girl attempts to shame. I literally sigh wistfully like damn why can I not shut the fuck up and be half as interesting lmao. Through engaging with them I’ve inadvertently been able to put a name to a lot of things about myself that has haunted me for years. I’m someone who is obsessively logical so even if it doesn’t make my experiences less valid, knowing I’m not making shit up is a relief. Love that I don’t have to perform attachment with them!! It’s just a head nod wassup and go lmfao!

It’s fun kind of being ships passing in the night engaging at random with them and telling jokes. Really is a highlight of my day and is again no pressure so that’s a vibe for me

3. GEMMA!!!

Another person who I admire!! Hope I don’t get punched for saying this but she holds an online older sibling slot to me in my head. I’m very happy to hear her thoughts/beliefs and she’s so sweet and caring it rots my teeth 🥹

I still feel very inadequate when faced with her truly immaculate organizational skills and her writing is so utterly phenomenal. watching her engage and work things out has been so refreshing and I’ve learned a lot! I hope to be as smart as her one day and maybe even a quarter as graceful when I decide to finally act like an adult lmfao. For now I’m content with being her cheerleader so GO GEMMA GOOOOO 📣����

I sometimes laugh because I’m like whoa, how have I not irritated her yet with my chaos and constant emotional whiplash lmfao. But nonetheless, I adore Gemma so much she’s one of my lil pockets of sunshine on here even if I don’t say it enough!!

[transmascpetewentz]

Intro + Basic Stuff

It has been 5 days since a transandrophobe has been horrifyingly disrespectful of a gay trans man who died of AIDS on one of my posts or in my inbox.

It has been 3 days since a cis gay man has whined about his genital preference in my notes and/or inbox when I didn't ask.

If you're here because someone accused me of being a TERF, please know that I am not. Read this for more details.

I can't think of a name to use on this blog so just refer to me either by my URL or a silly nickname. My BYF as well as a few blinkies are under the cut.

my pronouns are he/him, but any are fine if you're clearly using them to show that you respect me. they/them is generally okay as long as you aren't using them to dehumanize me.

i prefer gendered terms (boy, girl, enby) over neutral terms, but i will block you if you use "girl" in a misgendering sense. malewife and similar terms are fine. also, this is highly unlikely to come up, but please don't call me "queen."

i'm USAmerican, and when i'm talking about issues, i'm likely talking about USAmerica unless i indicate otherwise.

i'm currently having brainrot about: fall out boy, american idiot, red white and royal blue, fallout new vegas, and velvet goldmine (the 1998 film).

i also post untagged discourse on this blog, specifically talking about transmasc issues, trans liberation, queer liberation, and how to be normal about transmascs if you aren't one.

i'm also looking into converting to judaism, and as such i might post about conversion and judaism in general. filter #judaism if you don't want to see it.

i'm part of a system, so it might not always be the same person answering asks. i probably won't post about it mostly because i want to stay out of syscourse.

all original posts are #wentz.txt, asks are #asks. if i ever have photos of myself on here, they'll be #wentz.jpg.

this blog runs on a queue, so just because i post doesn't mean i've been online recently.

this is my alternate account. i have a main blog that i'm ignoring due to harassment. if you have me blocked on my main and try to follow me here, i'm blocking you for your own sake.

cis women are welcome to follow but don't touch any of my posts making fun of cis gay men or i will bite you.

blog rules:

no, i'm never sharing my age on here.

tag filtering: flashing, eyestrain, loud, violence cw, sexual assault cw, pedophilia cw, self harm cw, suicide cw, not worksafe, long post, anon hate, arguing with bigots, fascism cw.

please do not ask me about whether i am pro or anti ship, whether i support endogenic systems, or my views on intracommunity issues i'm not part of.

i'm autistic and as such might not understand if i'm making you uncomfortable. please either block me or DM me and tell me to stop doing something.

i won't reblog your callout post, reblog bait, guilt tripping, or donation post. an exception might be made for your donation post if we're mutuals.

if i don't block you, then i don't mind you following me. i don't softblock. please don't softblock me either, just block or else i'll refollow.

if i have reblogs enabled on a post, i'm fine with anyone reblogging it. if i have replies enabled, i'm fine with anyone replying.

if you're going to send anon hate, it has to be interesting, original, funny, and/or creative.

also, if you're going to send anon hate, please refrain from calling me slurs, sending me death threats, sexually harassing me, or misgendering me. also, please censor the name sh***a, or don't use the name at all in your ask.

i don't really have a dni, but i will block you if: you fetishize gay men or trans men, you support capitalism and/or cops, you glorify the actions of the ussr, you deny that transandrophobia exists, you think that feminine cis men are more oppressed than feminine trans men.

actually, i have to add a dni now: please dni if you falsely accuse gay men who died of aids of sexual assault. yes, someone like this tried to interact with me.

That should be it for now!

[victimeyez]

Happy Birthday 🎂🥳🎁 (I also have a September birthday so I think that’s neat)

I think overall, the thing about p/v that keeps me hooked is the intensity of the whump. I’ve read other whump stories before and while what the characters go through in them is horrible, I’ve yet to find another character that goes through the kind of stuff Tommy does. The man’s life is just brutal, and as a avid horror fan I find that deeply compelling. I want him to one day get his final girl moment, even though I read early on that it’s probably not gonna happen.

I think the two whump moments that stand out the most for me so far are the meat hooks and the use of Agent Orange. The meat hooks scene was such a intense body horror moment it almost made me think about quitting, but I also couldn’t get it out of my head. I had to know what was gonna happen next to this poor dude. By contrast, the Agent Orange bit had me thinking to myself, “whelp Tommy and Caius better pray that stuff wasn’t real, otherwise their both dying of cancer lol”

Anyways I’ve rambled on enough. I hope you enjoy your birthday and that you get to do something fun with the people you love. (Tommy sure won’t lol)

Thank you, and happy birthday to you too!!!

Ooh, where to start. A few years ago, I discovered a writer online that wrote the most brutal content I had ever read. To this day, she makes my writing here look quite tame. We bonded over a mutual fandom that was difficult to find content for. One thing led to another, and I ended up helping write and edit her first original book.

I’’d never had someone before that I could talk to about enjoying really twisted stories. I was always admonished for a blossoming interest in horror by my mom, who believes horror is the work of the devil. It is still hard for me to share darker ideas. I get nervous about being judged for going too far, being too much of a freak. 

A big part of what made me decide to write Pro Vic with the design it has is that I wanted to be able to explore lots of different whump scenarios, without things getting too stale of the same things over and over. I have fun with Caius, but I can also explore whatever other forms I want to with clients in my own version of a monster-of-the-week formatting lol. Plus I can throw in extra time with Sam, or Rory, or Michelle, orrrrr whatever! As for the meat hooks and agent orange - Once again, I am sorry, and you are welcome lol. Can I blame Dead by Daylight and weirdly specific Vietnam War nightmares?

I love me a final girl! I actually have a shirt that says FINAL BOY in bloody letters lol. 

I have a long game in mind. Tommy is going through it – that’s not going to stop any time soon. But without wanting to say too much - Tommy has a future ahead of him where he plays a very different role...👀

I cannot tell you how much it blows my mind that people are actually reading this. I’m grateful for the readership, the notes, the tags, everything, I read them all a thousand times and lay on my bed kicking my feet while I write about it in my diary. Okay maybe not literally that, but mentally that is where I am. Getting to be the random person that wrote something you find compelling is the greatest badge of honor in my life. That’s not a joke. Sharing my creative passions has been the one thing I have known I wanted since I was three years old. When I was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, banging pots and pans together for drums and screaming my best “opera”.