#honestly loving it so far but need to add more details

[intramoon]

Prepping for Wednesday & Amelia to host a Halloween party! (WIP)

[tesscourtes]

saw you had asks open, not a drawing request but wanted to know if there was any more story to your human bill’s punishment-for-weirdmageddon-is-to-turn-weak-human au, I really like it (sorry if you explained this a while back, I only just watched gravity falls😭I’m a late-comer to the fandom)

it’s just superepiccool to me, how are dipper and mabel about him being human now? Soos n Wendy, Stan and Ford? What was it like for them (especially Ford) when he just turned human? What was it like for Bill?

oh hey don't worry, I haven't really talked much about the details of the AU like ... ever. I just started reviving it because I got my partner into the show (they are also a new fan! yay, new fans! Funny enough I had no idea TBOB was coming out so the timing was mad exquisite.) and they have just been an amazing help shaping my messy thoughts and coming up with new, fun plots! It's also nice to know there's someone out there interested in it, so thank's for asking! Now that I read TBOB I want to change the premise a bit, but the core is still the same.

Let me tell you this AU is silly. I'm aware Billford is toxic and there are many corners to dive into to picture their messy relationship. But I kinda wanna keep the spirit of the show here and make it equally as fun as it is disturbing. Given that Bill canonically is trapped in endless Therapy gives me even more food to work with, he just out there being toxic and people repeatedly telling him to cut it out.

I'm not gonna go into too much detail because I'm actually working on the first comic chapter for this AU, but regarding the characters: Each of the Pines, as well as Wendy and Soos, are not happy seeing him, but individually grow more accustomed to him and with him. I guess going from "most accepting" to "least accepting", Mabel took it the best. I wouldn't say she was quick to forgive, but quick enough to give the guy a chance. And I honestly have to say that, although this is 100% a Billford AU, there's so many plot ideas for just Mabel and Bill and their amazing, chaotic shenanigans. Put these two together and the stories basically write themselves. Wendy is pretty similar, and the most chill in actually helping Bill figure out human stuff.

Naturally, Ford took it the hardest. I'm aiming for slowburn here, haha. They got to figure out some stuff that I'm so ready to put onto pages... Ford is a lot of emotions. Confused, angered, curious... Meanwhile Stan is Bills biggest hater. (There is a lot of bullying in this AU) He just keeps up with it because his Family makes him. He's very protective and tries to kick Bill out several times. Soos sticks with Stan, but he's also Soos and has a big heart, so in Bills eye, he's very gullible and a target he can mess with easily.

Dipper is not a fan either, he has a hard time adjusting to the triangle just getting to ... be there. He's suspicious for the most part and Bill has to try hard to get on his good side. But honestly he might be more upset with Mabel (and later on Wendy) for making friends with Bill so easily, even though he knows that's just their nature. I just recently started thinking about Gideon and how I'd like to include him, but nothing worth mentioning so far yet.

With Bill himself, one my favorite parts trying to portray so far is how he's dealing with his new mortality. He adjusts to the body fine, he knows how to navigate flesh, but he has a hard time accepting that it's his body. His new prison, essentially. If it's gone, he's gone. If he treat's it like shit, he feels like shit. Then we add the psychological aspect of things. And more importantly, we add Ford to the equation. When I tell you, that demon is experiencing psychological damage here, and it's fully his fault. TBOB really pointed out to me that I need to dive into his obsession with Ford. How do you even get a man you fumbled so bad, to even acknowledge you again?

I love yapping about this AU, thanks again for giving me the grounds to do so anon! I'm an insecure writer so it'll probably take another hot minute to choose which script feels best to draw out, haha. But I'm glad you seem to be up for the ride!!

[bulbabutt]

okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.

this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.

precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.

and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.

lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.

hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.

im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.

its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.

but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.

anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.

yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.

so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?

ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.

2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.

(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)

we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.

most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.

in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.

splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.

im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.

speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?

when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.

he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.

again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.

there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?

there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.

this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.

one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?

the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.

when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.

again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.

so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.

specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!

however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people

its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.

maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.

i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.

i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.

which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.

so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!

for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.

i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:

guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?

if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"

doctor feelings ass response.

look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.

these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!

and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.

[missmarveledsblog]

A kind of sex education part 2 (platonic cas x winchesters x reader)

Summary : after the whole porn ordeal , castiel finds tumblr and the world of fanfiction has him asking more curious questions  which the residents of the bunker are not so happy to answer . 

warnings : mentions of smutty fics , cas being the curious baby in a trench coat we love .

After the whole angel porn ordeal , they were more careful with what cas was watching not wanting  history to repeat itself . Like monitoring a toddler on an iPad. Especially given that y/n wouldn't come out of her room for days not wanting to look any of them bar sam in the eyes .  Dean even limited his teasing when it came to the subject . Today he was luckily out while cas was on laptop , Sam and Y/N were looking over some incoming cases seeing which needed to be handled first .

" interesting this is very interesting " the angel spoke making them look over both slightly relieved not see or hear an explicit image on the laptop. 

" I've been on a interesting site that led me to many other over the last couple of days " he  spoke up .

" what was that buddy" she smiled over. Their joy short lived when he uttered the next few sentences out of his mouth .

" tumblr that led me to all these other sites , did you know there is fanfiction of us like the play we seen except it's classed as what they call smut " he looked up at the two .

" why didn't  I go on the supply run ,  why am I here when he finds this shit " she cursed up at the ceiling .

" could be nothing " sam offered a weak smile .

" did you know most popular is Dean x y/n fiction seems as though you are most shipped although there are some of Dean and sam with you too " he mused .

" but I could be wrong" sam winced taking the laptop off of cas completely .

" how do you find these things " he asked looking through the tabs .

" I'm very pop culture savvy now " cas said proudly . 

" what the hell man why are you reading all these " sam groaned wanting burning his eyes out seeing an explicitly  wrong image of Dean and himself (no to wincest) .  " you are actually popular with them Y/n " sam mused .

" that's after  that stupid ghost hunting  website and chuck " she grumbled  wondering where she was going to start her new life.

" hey there's even some with you and cas " he chuckled. 

" Alaska or maybe Australia would be better it further Away " she mused .

" wow these are extremely detailed " sam continued .

" would you call Dean daddy , the stories seem to think you would " cas asked .

" what the hell did I walk into " the man in question walked into the room .

" my resignation  " she mumbled hiding her head in her arms. 

" destiel  is another popular one " sam chuckled. 

" cas found smutty fanfictions " she looked up to see the clueless expression on Dean's face.

" they suggest that Y/n is a sub and you are a Dom " the angel stated.

" wanna see if they're right sweetheart " Dean winked .

" wanna kill me cause I can't be dealing with this" she countered wondering if she could also legally change her name.

" why are they so descriptive on the parts , have they seen them" cas sat looking between the three .

" the way Dean sleeps around they probably seen his " she reasoned.

" they also suggest you like..." .

" do not even finish that one" she growled .

"so many kinks cas did you google all these" sam asked eyes widening at the search history. 

" i was looking at chucks book and comments said to check out the tumblr versions " he said looking confused to what he did wrong. " they forgot to add that birthmark just below your tits " he added matter of factly .

" when did you see her ... what he got to see i didn't" dean turned to Y/n , who honestly rather be stuck with Crowley for eternity than this .

" he walked in while i was getting dressed and it not a birthmark it's a scar from a battle with an old favourite bra "she could feel her cheeks redder than they've been so far . "i'm going to my room to pack for my new life in australia" she stormed out her room .

" she's kidding right?" dean asked looking to the mean .

" you should dom her  and make her stay , they said she responds to good girl" cas explained .

" i wonder if she would let me come with her " sam mused walking out after her.  

another awkward dinner bobby was almost afraid to ask. Although dean was smiling more than the others.

" cas read fanfiction , pornographic fan fiction " dean explained .

" i've also read some theories too, like bobby is Y/N Dad and not her uncle" cas smiled making bobby choke on his water.

"  their theories cas they're not right ... right? " she laughed but stopped when she notice bobby expression or how he would barel look at her.

" i mean it's a possibility " he mused truthfully making her jaw drop

" great more daddy issue not like the place is drowning in them with these two " she pinched the bridge of her nose and point at sam and dean.

" so the theories of dean being her soulmate are true " cas asked.

" probably " dean shrugged winking at her .

" why did i ever come here, sam wanna move to australia with me " she ignored the other three men .

" look me and your mom had a brief thing , your dad well your dad agreed while he..." . 

" australia sound nice " sam agreed cutting bobby short .

" hey stop denying our love even nerds on internet think we'd be hot together"dean spoke up .

" cas from now on stop the curiosity or so help me i will make you eat the computer  " she  groaned learning too much information for the day .

"we need to do dna test " she turned to bobby .

" you can pick me up at 7 " she turned to dean before walking out leaving the men speechless . 

" i got punished" cas pouted .

" i got a kid  kinda " bobby gulped .

" i got a date " dean smirked .

" and i got a rock ... It's a thing on tiktok ... what cass isn't the only pop culture savvy one around here " sam shrugged .

part three

[katshelluvacritic]

So…. Glitz and Glam huh… y’know what that means my fellow artists and critics…

REDESIGN TIME!!!! + (A bit of critics/opinions on the characters and the og design :-] )

To start it out a lil’ positive, If I gotta be honest I actually kinda liked these two characters from the mid-season special, even though they were just the bitchy woman character your supposed to hate (as if we needed any more of those characters than we already got viv), they were still really fun as characters in my opinion!

I feel like bitchy esc kind of character very much works for these two coupled with them being very competitive towards fizz in the episode, I feel like those two things were like the bread and butter for these characters and if I wanna be honest… I kinda wanna see these two again but wouldn’t be surprised if that didn’t happened bc c’mon this helluva boss we’re talking about after all!

The only thing I would have to say negatively about these two is that they literally got crushed by a rock in the end, like I get it viv hates writing characters who are woman but COME ONNN, you had these two characters that seem really interesting and the only climax you could’a think for them in the ep was to crush them with a rock? That’s literally lame.

But other than that, I think overall these characters were alright! At least writing wise….

Now for the redesign + critic thing on the og designs

I decided to change her outfit bc although I loved the character’s personality, the outfit viv gave them not fit them at all. The jester esc outfit personally I think doesn’t really work for these two because 1. The jester theme Fizzarolli’s thing and 2. It doesn’t really work well with their personality, the song they sang in my opinion shows that.

So I thought I’d base their outfits off of the bratz outfits and also any outfits similar to that, to try to fit their characters more!

That and I’m just getting real sick and tired of the jester/clown theming that’s going on in hb because oh my god it feels so out of place, especially with the theme of greed ring being a trashy polluted city. And even if, EVEN IF viv wanted to give them clown esc themed outfits, I feel like it would’ve made more sense if she gave them outfit that were similar to mimes because technically those guys are like elegant clowns! While jesters aren’t even the same as clowns at all.

I also kept the green ish’ tones while also giving them a bit off red and purple colors to compliment the identical twin duo thing they have going on! Because like… do I even have to say why I did it? Their colors are literally just black and the same exact hues of green, it was literally hard to focus on them when watching the episode because of much they blended in with the background.

I also took inspiration from this fish when designing them because from as far as I can tell (and do correct if I’m wrong), they’re supposed to be fish demons??? So I tried to add more fish motifs for them!

I also made them half succubus from the horns looking similar to that and also because I thought it’d be fitting for them!

I also made their hair look like fish fins because oh my god their hair in the canon design was probably the worst part about their designs, not only did it have too many details that it was too distracting when I was trying to pay attention to the characters but also I just trying to figure out how the hair works in general, because it honestly their hair kinda looked like paper instead of fish fins or even actual hair.

But other than that uhh…

TLDR: I love these guys sm, they deserved much better and uhhh I love women /hj

[maybe-boys-do-love]

Did y'all catch that episode 6 was all about the writing? It was so subtly but well done.

1.This episode was so much more dialogue heavy than others (especially if you compare it to episode 4 that focused on editing and therefore had whole wordless action and genre segments). Even the comedy gags (so glad Gun got to show off some of his physical comedy skills like with the water cooler lol) all have funny dialogue to go along with them that the show didn't have to add but they offered some good punchlines to go along with the action.

2.The notebook Pie holds up at the beginning telling Ryan he needs to fill the empty notebook by writing the rules of love for himself! Which then gets continually referenced in the episode (with on-screen text!) to give Ryan a structure to see and understand his feelings and actions through words.

3. A little detail, but still a fun reference is when the interns eat together and Pie asks someone to write down the order.

4. All the texts in this episode! It really puts into contrast what's being written and said (between Ba-Mhee and Tae) versus what actions are happening (between Ba-Mhee and Judy)--kind of like dialogue versus stage directions, but also like what the writers envision versus what happens during shooting.

5.All the signage in this episode! The room signs are actually how they would indicate the setting in the script, and I don't remember them featuring them this prominently in previous eps. Then the label on the cookies gives such clarity to a key prop, but also provides the perfect set-up for the mix-up that happens. Also really interesting to note all the signage is in English, versus the texts we saw being in Thai.

6. The discussion of honorifics! Honestly, the sexiest thing so far in the series lol. But also just shows you the kind of decisions that writers have to make and put into characters mouths to communicate dynamics, especially in a language, as @absolutebl points out, with so much variability in honorifics.

7. Ryan, notorious for taking time to process and verbalize, finally puts his feelings into words! (and of course that means someone else can hear it and know what he's feeling).

There are even more references to the writing process in the episode but those were some of the major ones I caught on first watch.

[fleet-of-fiction]

Josh Kiszka // Female Reader

Summary: After meeting Josh at a spiritual development group, your friendship intensifies after an evening of intimate meditation. He insists on showing you the room where he likes to do most of his incantations. And there, what transpires is the most mind blowing sex you've ever had.

Warnings: Spiritual sex. Foreplay and penetration. A little dirty talk.

He just wouldn't stop talking.

You knew his voice was going to echo into your dreams that night, talking about the universe and how mankind simply hasn't tapped into the spiritual knowledge at its fingertips. He spoke fluently about opening consciousness to the vast spaces and dimensions of existence. It didn't seem impossible the way he said it could be achieved. But still, it had been almost an hour since he had first opened his mouth and you could feel your eyelids begin to grow heavy. Not through boredom, but for the fact the hour was almost at midnight.

"Well?"

Your eyes flutter open, as if straining against the need to close them. Josh is looking at you expectantly with all the enthusiasm he carried into the evening when it was a more reasonable hour.

"I'm sorry, what?" You muster, coming back to your senses.

He muses over you. With immediate realisation that you're exhausted.

"I asked if you'd like to meditate with me sometime." He repeated, in a quieter tone.

His face carried with it all the sweetness of a child-like innocence. A smile that shrouded a row of pearly white teeth and a solitary dimple in his left cheek. Whisps of hair above his lip sat, almost twitching, as his smile changed from child-like to coy.

"I'd love to." You respond, as excitedly as you can, given your tiredness. "When?"

Josh had crept into your life on tiptoes. His shy demeanour had meant you didn't notice him at first, sitting at the back of the Spiritual Development group you'd been attending in an attempt to combat the grief which had burdened you for so long. But when finally, he'd found the courage to raise his hand and offer his insight, you'd taken note of him in far more detail than you usually afforded.

You began to grow excited for each meet, your heart a beating mess as you realised that sometimes he would be there and sometimes he would be wholly absent. The days on which he was absent you sat in a melancholy you couldn't fathom, listening to the others in their wisdom and wishing it was his you basked in. Until, when you had given up on him returning, he appeared in the doorway in his usual white sweater and beige jeans and the universe spoke to you for the very first time.

Since that moment it had been a flurry of musings. You, hanging on to his every word and he in return giving you space to be vocal about your grief. Your friendship had been born through these tangible moments and when he'd asked you to start meeting up away from the group it was inevitable that you'd find yourself on the edge of love.

Josh was not a constant in your life, though. His absences were long and drawn out, peppered with long winded text messages from the road he travelled. You, staring at your phone in the dark reading them like a novel you never wanted to put down. If love was beginning to stir, you took the spoon from the pot and hoped it bubbled away to nothing.

"Not tonight." He said, breaking into your reverie. "I can see how tired you are."

He leaned forward across the table and began to blow out the centre candles. He gathered his books and went to return them to the shelf.

"I am tired." You agreed. "But I find myself not wanting to leave."

His bashfulness piqued. A rosy hint emerged on his cheeks as he put the books back onto the table and in the new darkness tried to seek out your face.

"You are always leaving." You add, the darkness giving you a boldness to speak more honestly.

You see his outline shift weight from one leg to the other. "I always return."

He seems to have retreated to his initial shyness. You hear his breath grow shallow and wonder if you should approach. You have never known Josh deny himself the touch of another, offering hugs and comforting arm squeezes to your fellow group members. If you approached him you were certain he wouldn't shrink from you.

"Why can't we meditate tonight, then?" You ask, rising from your chair with only the distant lights from the street outside penetrating the window blind to guide you.

He turned his head to watch your shadow. Josh had never given you any indication that he wanted more save for his requests that you join him at his home on evenings when you should have been attending the group.

He had welcomed you in and brought you a steaming bowl of soup that his brother had made over the course of three days. So the story went. You'd eaten together and discussed the vast differences between spirituality and religion. Even his text messages, as prolific as they were, included nothing but the thoughts which occurred to him on lonely nights in hotel rooms. None of the thoughts ever made you think he was anything but your friend.

You knew your feelings had come about completely unwanted. Sprung forth from him simply being who he was and your desire to attach yourself to him. Josh was a source of sunshine in dark times. Even as you stood together at the dining table, the darkness seemed to dissipate around him.

"I thought you might want to go home and get some sleep." He offered, stiffening against your movements around the table to stand at his side.

Your eyes adjusted a little. You could see him now, his face peering at you in wonder.

"The next time you go away I'll have to wonder if we will ever meet like this again. And I'll ache for you, as I have ached for you all the other times you were gone from me. So, if it's all the same, I'd like to meditate with you tonight. Just in case." Your words fall out without process.

His wonderment remained etched on his face as you notice his Adams apple move with a deep swallow. His brown eyes lift to meet your blue, the air between the two of you heating up as if the candles were still alight.

"You ache for me?" He asked, as if the notion had never occurred to him.

There was truly no way to ascertain if Josh was ever aware of how he made people feel. His vibration was love itself and you knew there were thousands of people in the world who saw him for precisely who he was, if only from afar, and loved him in return.

Because, despite the ache it left, Josh lived for taking his message on the road and the two parts of his life could meet for the briefest of moments. You existed in that quiet part of his life that he sought out when the lights went out and the crowds went home. You'd known for a long time that him being his brothers' band was his own little universe. You just wished, sometimes, that you could be a part of the loud in his life.

"If I confess that I do, will you leave again?" You ask tentatively.

He breathed in deeply and shook his head. "We're not due back on tour for another week."

That wasn't what you meant. But he seemed so bashful you giggled at his sentiment. Immediately he was put at ease and seemed to return to being the man you had come to know and love. Except, with an edge you had not expected.

He took your hand and moved you through his house, through the corridors and up a set of spiral stairs that wound up towards a room that sat at the top of the building. Adorned with a twinkle of fairy lights and plush bean bags, on the walls hung pieces of art ranging from things he'd had commissioned and pieces he had acquired from his travels. Your breath catches as you begin to understand the beauty of this room.

"I only meditate here alone, you're the first person to join me." He said, gesturing you to sit on the floor.

You catch his scent as he sits across from you, cross legged and your knees just grazing each other. The lighting is low enough to be able to discern his facial features, but enough to keep your confidence cloaked. He shakes his hands out as if his palms are sweating and you see his nerves for the first time.

"I'm honoured." You say, realising you haven't responded to him in words.

He nods absently. "Well, you know, it's a nice place. I like to come here when I'm home and just do some breath work or even just take a nap or something. I really felt like this room deserved to be a dedicated space, you know, when I bought it. I wish I could be here more often, but you know, it's probably going to get used a lot more once the tour ends."

His nervous use of 'you know' is not lost upon you. You watch him wipe his palms on his thighs and take cursory glances at you. Your honesty has only served to make you calmer. You are in no doubt, now, that he knows how you feel about him.

"Josh?" You say, placing your hands upon his.

His body flinches. A reaction so completely unlike anything he has ever shown you before that doubt begins to creep in. There is no way to take it back, no way to remove your hands without the action being felt. Whatever it was that you were about to say is immediately lost. You were going to comfort him and tell him that he need not be nervous with you. But suddenly you are in your own head, feeling nothing but his body stiffen against your touch.

"I'm sorry." He manages, reaching out to bring your hands further into his. "Please forgive me."

"Have I done something..." You begin, afraid now.

In the pit of your stomach a sickness begins to churn. Josh shakes his head erratically, frantically trying to find the words he needed but for the first time failing to form a sentence which made any sense. He looks at you as if looking at a starry night. Seeking out new points of light amongst the ones which have always been there.

"No, never." He says in a perfunctory whisper. "You have brought such peace to my life; I had never thought to try and break it. Perhaps I should have?"

Your knees were touching now. Your hands intertwined and the previous stiffness which had brought you to your doubts was now slowly dissipating. He eased into your touch like he had known it in lifetimes which stretched out long before this.

You smile at him in the twinkle of the lights above. "I'll always be your peace, Josh. I promise."

He closes his eyes against your words. "And I will always be yours."

You instinctively fall into a pattern of breathing that links the two of you into a trance like state. You feel his hands still within yours, but the room falls away until you are completely separated from your body. You hear the sync of his breath with yours, but from a position above. He is here with you in this space. You can feel that warmth envelope you. You can feel that familiar vibration hanging in the air above your connected bodies.

In this realm, he is free of his mortal coil and any part of him that knows fear. You can hear his voice, as you knew you would in dream, saying fuck fear... the echo of it resonating through you like mist on the city streets. All you can feel is him. All of him. All his rampant insecurities laid bare, telling you his love is yours.

You gasp as you feel him pulling you back to your body, with an urgency you had never known could be his. Opening your eyes, you realise your knees are no longer touching and both your legs are outstretched. Yours lay on top of his, open and your heart chakras level with one another. His eyes are seeking you out, as if he has brought you to this moment purposefully.

"You must know I ache for you, too." He says, keeping his voice low and soft. "Day and night when we are apart."

You feel yourself a little dizzy and he responds with a comforting touch, resting his forehead against yours in the most intimate way. You and Josh have never drawn yourselves this close to one another in the physical realm. Whatever words of wisdom you may have exchanged during the course of your friendship, it was nothing compared to the wisdom he shared with you now as he silently laid his hand against your pale cheek.

"If I didn't know it, I do now." You breathe.

He smiles that devastating grin, all teeth and solitary dimple. "I'd like to try something, if I may?"

You nod your approval, and he leans back, pulling off his shirt to reveal a sculpted chest and arms that you hadn't known he would possess beneath the loose fitted clothes he chose to wear. Immediately, your mind goes to where his has gone already and you peel off your halter neck to bring your flesh together as one.

His eyes move down towards your breasts. He makes no apology in the way he studies them. Taking in the gooseflesh around your nipples, the way you hope he is satisfied. He licks his lips and returns his gaze to your eyes, his breath laboured beneath half closed eyes.

"You know, there are several benefits to meditating naked." He says, almost playfully. "It can give you a much greater awareness of your senses."

You decide to edge towards him, bringing your breasts to his chest. "I think I read somewhere that being physically naked allows you to be naked in all other aspects."

He raised a speculative eyebrow, as if he knew where this was going. The two of you justify it in languid reasoning, until you are stood opposite each other with your hands tackling belt buckles and buttons.

Stripped of your clothes, you stand, taking in the sight of each other. You notice a trail of hair leading down from his navel that meets the rest of his pubic hair. You like the way it looks in the low light, the way he dresses to the right and it rests upon his thigh. His body excites you in a way you've never felt before, impulses of warmth and ecstasy rushing through your veins making your heartbeat faster.

His eyes rest on your core. He drinks you in, moving from your breasts to your hands which are clasped together in front of your vulva. He makes a cautionary gesture, to move your hands away, and you can't help but oblige. His eyes widen as your arms come to rest at your sides. He feels your nerves as he feels his own.

"Don't be afraid." He instructs. "I have thought about this from the moment I first saw you."

His confession felt like a blow to the abdomen. It filled you up with a sense of astonishment. That he had been able to hide such a thing was astounding. His melodic voice, his graceful movements and the way you never caught him looking at you unguarded. He was a careful vessel. Never revealing anything of himself until the precise moment he intended.

You knew yourself to be somewhat more of a creature of instinct. Your glances had been caught and measured; you were sure of it. You were unable to hide the intrinsic feelings that were forming for him. You could feel them now, moistening between your legs as he continued to look at you.

"Shall we?" You ask.

He bids you to sit back down in your former positions. Legs outstretched, yours upon his and your torsos unflinchingly close. Now that your bodies were laid bare, your opening rested against his hardness as you brought yourself as close to him as you could.

His mouth and yours sought each other out, your arms rested gently on his shoulders as his found their way to your waist. You'd seen this position illustrated in a book you'd read years ago. You recalled how it could bring your souls together, on the physical plane and the spiritual.

Josh was fighting against the urge to kiss you; you sensed it as his lips inched closer to yours under the guise of sharing breath. His lips parted, taking yours with them and without thinking the tips of your tongues collided. A delicious moan escaped your lips, and Josh took the kiss deeper.

With his hands on your hips, he helped you to begin moving against him. Back and forth, your wet parting sliding against his hard length. Not for one moment did he pull away from your first kiss. His arms reached up, pulling you in closer so that your lower lips were pressed against his pubic hair, his hard penis resting to the side. The feel of his skin against yours sent electrical pulses through your body.

There had never been a time when you had imagined how it would be with Josh that you could have ever known it would be like this. There was no part of you that could have been prepared for the complete breakdown of your senses that you gave to him willingly. There was no part of you which did not belong to him now.

"Beautiful..." You hear him say, breathless and between his mouth finding yours once more.

His lips move to your arched neck, craving his touch as you pull your hair to the side. The feeling that you can't bear to go another moment without him inside you begins to build. First in your stomach and then lower, as your clit begins to throb in anticipation.

This is not meditation. You don't care to give it a name as you push his body back, forcing him onto the palms of his hands. You rise slowly, careful to keep his gaze locked. He can't help but falter and trail a look down your body as you take his cock in your hand and feel him leak into your grasp.

"I want you inside me." You tell him, "Connected. Now and always."

He does not speak. There is an audible gasp as he tilts his head back, revealing his throat and somehow the sight of it spurs you on. As you guide him inside of you, his hands grip at your hips, fingertips digging into your flesh. The sensations of him filling you is more than you can take.

You moan, not softly nor with caution, raising your voice until he sinks his teeth into your jawline. Your legs inch around, bringing you to your knees. You begin to move up and down, sliding your entire body against him so that your breasts ease against his neck and face.

Panting now, he makes tiny kisses against you as you move. Sweat building, you can feel it on your brow as you move your hair back and run an errant hand through his wet curls. His face is a joyous red, completely lost and bound to you now.

"Josh..." You release his name as if you have never spoken it before.

He responds in a way that takes the breath from your lungs. He thrusts upward, making sure his full-length hits you hard. Your name escapes his lips in a low, authorative hiss and you reel back so that he can look down and see himself pound into you.

He'd always called you something nobody else ever had. A name he created just for you, when he had caught you scouring the self-help books on grief in the library where the Spiritual Development group had their meetings.

"Goddess...."

You know he is nearing orgasm as he begins to move faster, his lips seeking out one of your breasts to suck and to bear his teeth against your hard nipple. You grind down harder, quicker and tell him to suck on you harder as you feel the stirrings of your own orgasm begin to build.

"Inside me..." You mutter, in a voice not entirely your own.

Your instruction leaves him without choice. His body shudders into another realm, taking you with him. You rise above your own body. He holds you close, spurting inside you. But all you can feel is his essence. Warm and comforting. You can feel your own wetness mixed with his, as you come down onto your knees and hold his heaving body to yours. He is not quite returned, and you feel his reluctance to let go.

"It's ok..." You whisper.

You're not quite certain if you are telling him or yourself. When finally, he looks up at you, covered in sweat, the sweetness of his face brings you back to that moment when you first laid eyes on him.

"Are you ok?" He asks, resting his hot cheek against your breast.

You nod and run sweaty fingers through his hair, cradling him to you as you calm down. You feel him swallow hard, trying to stabilise his breathing. Somehow it still feels as if you're not quite within yourself just yet.

When he pulls out, you feel your body jerk and the reality of what you have done hits. You begin to wish you had not opened that portal. You feel that familiar ache creep in, even though he is in your arms and not thousands of miles away.

He seems to pick up on your reluctance immediately and pulls you into a sweet kiss where you can taste the salt of his sweat.

"My Goddess..." He croons. "Don't pull away from me."

Tears begin to spill down your cheek. Unabashedly and without guilt. He holds you. You are safe. The grief you have been trying to combat takes its leave of you, in it's place only a sense of hope that wasn't there before.

You hear Josh tell you to stay with him.

"Where else would I be?" You ask, allowing him to wipe your tears with his thumb.

"I don't know." He replies, almost casually in a way that allows you to know that you are back in the reality of your everyday life. "Sometimes you go somewhere, and I can't follow."

There's a glint in his eye that wasn't there before as you meet his gaze as someone who now knows him a way no other could. The intimacy that remained let you know he had no intention of closing that opened portal. It was yours and his. To enter whenever you chose.

"Not anymore." You tell him earnestly, your previous tiredness returning to your bones. "I promise, I wont go anywhere where you cannot follow."

He planted a solitary kiss on the end of your nose. "I make that same promise."

You know of what he speaks, but the disbelief courses through you all the same. There's a wry smile brewing on his lips as he plants a succession of more kisses on the end of your nose.

"I quite like getting your text message novels." You say, "I can't say I won't miss them."

A laugh escapes his lips, throwing his head back in obvious joy. "You can hear me speak them instead."

You knew, in your heart, that he just wouldn't stop talking.

.

.

.

@caprisunsister @thewritingbeforesunrise @takenbythemadness @katuschka @its-interesting-van-kleep @lvnterninthenight @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @edgingthedarkness @velveteencatch @lyndz2names @nina-23-45 @itsafullmoon y @char289 @dancingcarbon @gvfpal @violetstarcatcher @wetkleenex-gvf @jazzyfigz @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire

[somehow-a-human]

Moonlight Serenade & Good Omens &... the TV show Lost...?

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY.

The music of Good Omens is something I have been ACTIVELY avoiding turning my focus on. The risks of hyperfixating and spiraling into it are HIGH. There are so many elements to get lost in, repeating motifs like Dies Irae, tolling bells, character themes... but I digress.

Could I hold out forever? no. and something finally pushed me over the edge. Wait for it..... Lost. Yep. The TV show Lost. WAIT WAIT, don't leave! STAY WITH ME! I promise I don't *think* I'm crazy and I have a point here!

Why Lost? And what does it have to do with Moonlight Serenade and WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH GOOD OMENS?! Well my lovelies continue under the cut with me and keep an open mind...

Okay so... Lost. Yes, the insane 2004 mystery plane crash island adventure drama. It's a wild ride, and a masterpiece and a little bit crazy, but overall pretty damn good. I've been on a rewatch spree and wouldn't you know it... parallels between lost and Good Omens popped up in my brain! I mean they are both intricate mysteries so it makes a tad bit of sense but there was one little detail that *might* be a *clue*, or just an easter egg if anything. I promise you don't need to know anything about Lost to follow this :)

First off, what are some of the recurring themes that Lost the TV show and Good Omens have in common you might ask?

Life & Death

Alternate timelines & Time Travel

Literary Allusions (Catch-22, The Bible, A Tale of Two Cities)

Prophecies & Premonitions

Symbolism of Black & White/ Light & Dark

Yeah okay that tracks, but look there are 121 episodes of Lost and 12 episodes (so far) of Good Omens so there's bound to be some overlap for these two.

You'll be thinking about now, "BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MOONLIGHT SERENADE?!" I'm getting there, shhh, lemme pet your hair gently and keep giving you background information to build it up shhhh...

If you've never seen Lost there is a very good chance you're mighty confused at this moment, so let me reassure you, you don't need to know anything about it to understand the connections I'm going to make. A brief synopsis is: Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island. The plane crash survivors quickly discover the island is more than it seems to be and holds many secrets and mysteries. A lot of people die, most of them are murdered, it's giving Lord of the Flies if it was in the horror genre. That's honestly all you need to know.

Time Travel & Alternate Timelines

Time travel is cannon in Lost. It's super confusing and I'm not even going to try to explain any of it here. It's honestly just not worth it. If you'd like to try and read about it, the abridged version is here, but I don't think the details are important. Just know it's real and confirmed and exists.

Okay so, *SPOILERS FOR LOST WILL FOLLOW* In Lost season 2, episode 13 "The Long Con" two of the plane crash survivors are trying to find a signal on a radio they've found. While scrubbing they come across a signal playing Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller. One character mentions it must be from somewhere nearby, but the other counters that this type of radio can pick up signals from anywhere in the world. There is a beat and then another character jokingly adds "Or any time. Just kidding, dude."

It's later confirmed that the Lost characters in 2004 are indeed picking up a radio signal from 1940 that is playing Moonlight Serenade, a product of time travel.

Congratulations, you've made it to the point where I'm going to bring Good Omens into the mix. In season 2, episode 4 "The Hitchhiker" we open seeing Aziraphale driving back from Edinburgh late at night/early morning. Uncomfortable with the darkness and silence he asks the Bentley to "play something that's got a bit of swing? I'm in the mood for something modern."

The Bentley obliges the angel, as she always will, and we are shown a shot of the radio specifically lighting up, so we know she's tapped into the radio to play this for Azi, but there is no channel selected.

Compared to Season 2, Episode 3 "I Know Where I'm Going" when we see the radio is playing and does display the channel.

But hold on. Okay maybe it just isn't showing the channel, that's fine, but Aziraphale asked for "modern"? Moonlight Serenade is most certainly not modern. It was recorded in 1939! I'd say in 2023 it's anything but modern, maybe not in Aziraphale's long lived opinion, but certainly in the Bentley's opinion, given she's only a 97 year old car.

I think you can see now what I'm saying here. I think the Bentley picked up a radio signal from 1940, maybe 1941? Episode 4 is of course our 1941 blitz magic show bullet catch flashback extravaganza, so... it makes sense. I know we like to headcanon Crowley and Aziraphale listened to A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square in the bookshop in 1941 after the bullet catch, but what if they listened to Moonlight Serenade on the radio instead?

What does it mean?

A reference to this small moment from Lost could be a nod to the first hint of the canonization of time travel in that series. We know Crowley can control time to some extent and we can see some evidence of time discontinuities and possibly time weirdness in season 2 so is it a hint that timeline funkiness IS happening? Do I want to get into the fact that the main character in The Hitchhiker, the Twilight Zone episode this episode is named after, is actually dead? No I don't, not now anyway.

Or it's just an absolutely lovely little Lost easter egg.

SO! There it is... weird little connection that I couldn't get out of my brain. It just seemed a bit too... ineffable.

As always this is all for fun and all for fans! Don't ask Neil about these things, they're for us to have fun with. And something else that I don't think some people on here understand about meta-analysis; the goal of it is not necessarily to be correct. It can be, if that's your thing. Refuting peoples posts, theories, analysis, and headcanons because you personally don't agree with them and telling them they're wrong and stupid doesn't achieve anything. Meta-analysis is an exercise in critical thinking and creative writing. You could write meta about how Spongebob is a critique of the loss of christian values in modern society and you wouldn't be right or wrong, you'd just certainly be a person who wrote that for sure though. Just, be kind to each other, share ideas, you're allowed to disagree with someone's ideas or have different ones of your own but don't be cruel in saying so, don't call someone stupid, that's just silly.

Love you all, do something kind for yourself today <3

ps. The moment I see Michael Sheen with blonde hair come January I'm gonna bark like a dog, that's all. Thanks.

[tavyliasin]

Disability Pride Month and BG3!

It’s Disability Pride Month! And you know what that means, right? No? Well it has been ages and I’ve long been casually planning a series of short (maybe) essays around the parallels to disability - and the clearer disability representation - throughout Baldur’s Gate 3 in both the characters and the story. So what better month than this to finally work on them and bring them out?

Whilst I do have some personal lived experience with disability, this doesn’t account for every type of condition or all the ways that different disabilities affect so many of us. Two people with the same condition can have quite a different lived experience, and even the condition itself can vary significantly. So what I mean to say here, loves, is that if you have a differing opinion, or there’s something I’ve missed, or you’d just like to add your thoughts - please do just that! 

I welcome hearing from all of you about how you relate to the game through your own lived experiences, and what the characters can mean to you. Representation isn’t always clear, but honestly I think when we look closer we can see parts of all kinds of experiences reflected through the characters and story. So, what I intend to do is create a series of essays, looking in depth at the potential parallels we can see in each of the main companions that I’m most familiar with (unfortunately I don’t know Minthara well enough to include her in this, but I would welcome input from others!) and then perhaps some of the other characters. (Edit - all pieces completed for now, next year I may add more!) These pieces are not meant to be diagnostic in any way, or claiming “this character has this illness”, but instead is a look at how the characters and their stories and details can be similar to real world disability and health, and how different people might find ways to relate to their experiences through this.

Links to the Disability Discussion Posts

Karlach - Terminal Illness (Completed) Wyll - Sudden Physical Change (Traumatic Incident) (Completed) Gale - Chronic Illness, Autism (Completed) Astarion - Complex Needs, Specialised Diets, and Addiction (Completed) Lae’zel - Ableism, Eugenics, and More Neurodiversity (Completed) Shadowheart - Memory Difficulties, Depression, Fluctuating Chronic Pain (Completed) Halsin - Carer Fatigue and The End Of The Path Of Healing (Completed) Gortash - Invisible Disability and Visible Mobility Aids (Completed)

--- I'm not sure how quickly I'll get through posting these as I'm having a tough time with my own physical health right now - isn't that ironic? - but I do intend to get through at least this list by the end of July in between fic writing and other projects.

If you would like to suggest other characters, storylines, or disability related topics in BG3 please let me know! I'd love to hear how you all relate to the game and the characters from these angles too, and I might be willing to add things to this list if I can.

Lia's Disability Experience

As a little peek behind the curtain (and for full disclosure that I'm not an abled person here to talk over disabled experiences) without giving you too much of myself on the single plate, my lived experience is with an unpredictable chronic pain condition as well as a few other chronic illnesses and disability issues. I'm a wheelchair user, partially ambulatory (essentially I can shamble around in my home with assistance but outside the house I rely on my wheels), and my most prevalent symptom is constant pain. I have made vague references to these things in a few works and the experience does provide me with some fic inspiration for a couple of works. I'm far too familiar with Loviatar's embrace, but I feel this is something that can be used to my advantage at times like these where I can examine the characters and storylines from angles that abled people might not consider.

Your Input!

I really would love to hear from all of you - what other characters do you feel reflect some of the lived experiences of disabled people? Are there any that you connected to? Did you find the game was accessible for you to play as a disabled person? What do you wish you saw more of in the game or in games in general? This month really is an important one for awareness and understanding, as well as finding things in ourselves to be proud of that don't fall into the categories of "inspiration porn" or the kinds of internalised ableism that can drive some of us to push too hard to work against our conditions instead of with and around them leading to more issues.

Remember - The Disabled Community is the one minority that anyone could become a part of at any time. Advocating for our rights could also be advocating for your own future or that of a loved one.

[justladders]

Hello! I’m Ladders :)

I'm just here stylizing some fnaf characters and mostly drawing the evil green rabbit like an animated villain.

Basically, I always loved animated shows and movies. They're why I started drawing when I was little, and I still watch and pull ideas from that kind of stuff to this day. Classic Disney's my fav, so you might see me talking about it sometimes. Anyways, since villains are my favorite and since I've starting drawing fnaf stuff, it's mainly been art of Springtrap, which you'll see a lot here.

If you're ever just looking for my art, the tag is #laddersarts. More tag stuff at the bottom of the post. Also, love asks, but please be considerate about the ask box, ty.

Do not repost my art anywhere, even with credit. I'm fine with it being used for things like a profile picture/banner as long as it is credited.

vv FAQ / TAG GUIDE vv

Q: What art program do you use? Krita. It's free and it "works," which is all I ask for.

Q: Do you do commissions? This answer will change around: currently, no. I've been meaning to, honestly, but just haven't felt collected enough to make a comm sheet and whatnot. Hopefully I'll be able to update this soon though.

Q: What are your other socials? I currently don't have any others, so if you see my art somewhere else, it's stolen :)

Q: Why do you draw [insert character] like that? I normally get this question about Springtrap, but I like to make designs that lend themselves more to 2D animation, which means simplifying a lot of things and hopefully still being able to get the point across. Too much detail and it becomes complicated very quickly. Fnaf animatronics/characters lend themselves really nicely to stylization because of how simple in concept they are overall. They're also left up to a lot of different characterization potential, not just from their simple designs, but the fact that they don't really get super hard-established personalities. Basically, all of that comes together into me enjoying taking a base concept and turning it into something you could potentially see in some older hand-drawn cartoon. As far as *specific* choices for how I draw *specific* characters, I feel like those would each need their own posts especially for Springtrap since I draw him the most. I know I'll have to make that sometime.

Q: Can I draw fanart of your designs? Of course! I'd just like to be credited and tagged so I can see it and reblog it :D

Tag Guide laddersarts and not my art - arts that I post or ones that I reblog (my art tag is all stuff since I got back earlier this year, art before that I just tagged as "my art") justtalks and talkin disney - indulgent tangents justfrens - things from peeps I know and whatnot answered ask - stuff from the inbox goofies - silly stuff midnight magma things - arts from group canvas drawing fanart for me :0 - fanarts of my designs!!!!! :0 present for springtrap :) - ask series where y'all wanted to give Springtrap something nice (there's a line formed and I just get to them whenever I'm up for it, but feel free to add to it) alt springtrap - art of goofy alternate versions of Springtrap I make sometimes: there's currently Vamptrap, Mothtrap, Jackotrap, and ERRORtrap (suggestive, eyestrain, flashing, gore, and all that stuff some people might not want to see I will hopefully remeber to tag)

[earthshine-moon]

Why I love AMC’s Lt Graham Gore: an essay

Full essay under the cut but here’s the intro to (hopefully) get you interested

In my humble (and completely non-obsessed 😉) opinion, AMC’s Lieutenant Graham Gore is one of the best cold boys. He is not only kind and considerate, but well-respected and liked among the other men (especially Goodsir and while that is reason enough, I wrote this anyway bc why not?). In this essay, I will exhibit why Lt Gore deserves all the love and appreciation that is possible to receive from a single fandom.

A list of special mentions are at the end of this post as well if you’re interested 💙

This is long so buckle up and hold on to your Welsh wigs, we’re going for a ride.

The first scene where we witness Gore’s personality is the boat hauling scene in episode 2. When the scene begins, it’s clear that Mr Goodsir has been talking for a little while and at first, it seems as though none of the party are really listening to him until he speaks directly to Gore. As soon as Goodsir says his name, the Lieutenant looks up at him and responds immediately despite how much effort and concentration he is clearly putting in to hauling the boat. Gore’s instant and genuine reply of “I do not, Mr Goodsir” implies that he has been listening (maybe not intently, he’s not superhuman) and knows exactly who Goodsir is talking about. On top of that, the tone of his answer gives the impression that he wasn’t giving it for the purpose of not having to converse further with Goodsir, but rather that he honestly couldn’t remember the Inuk man’s name, which shows his kindness.

Just a few seconds later in that scene, Gore stops the men as soon as Goodsir offers to take over from one of them in hauling the boat. This second immediate action indicates that he doesn’t mind taking the time to swap Hartnell with Goodsir and instruct him on how to pull the weight. (He could just be thankful for the excuse to take a little break and I love that too, so I’m cool with it being a bit of both). The fact that he has no problem with taking this time just adds to the kindness that we have already seen from him.

This leads me onto his instructions to Goodsir. He explains the technique clearly and calmly, which shows exactly how considerate and attentive he is because he gives Goodsir all the advice he needs to keep in step with the others (“watch Morfin here in front, and me with the corner of your eye”). Gore’s tone is warm and friendly throughout with a touch of reassurance seeping in as he says “you’ll take to it, I know you will”, which conveys his trust and belief in Goodsir’s ability to haul. While he’s talking, Gore’s whole body is turned towards Goodsir and he gives him a couple of little shoulder pats. (Tartnell and Peglar also give him a shoulder pat each but that’s different. I mention that again later).

(Just a little side note that has nothing to do with this but there’s a little detail in one of his lines in this scene that I love. He tells Hartnell to let Goodsir “spell [him]”. We don’t use this phrase in the UK and as far as I can tell, it’s North American. I just think it’s a lovely nod to the fact that he comes from a line of Naval officers (one of which might have picked up the phrase). Anyway, back to me rambling about how wonderful this guy is).

And now, my current favourite thing to talk about and watch: the cairn scene. Gore’s second line in this scene (“does this place make you uneasy, doctor?”) is said almost like a joke but he doesn’t walk away like you’d expect him to if it was meant in that way. Instead, he stays where he is and turns towards Goodsir as if he is waiting for an answer. At first I thought he might have stayed to hand Goodsir his ice pick (or whatever it’s called. I can’t find them anywhere) but it looks like he doesn’t go to pass it to him until he actually does. And, in case you need any more evidence, if you look closely when it cuts to the wider shot, the end of the handle is visible by the side of his leg and there’s a 2 second long pause before Goodsir speaks where he could have tried to hand the ice pick over or at least lifted it up, but he didn’t.

Gore’s response to Goodsir explaining why he shouldn’t call him Doctor is to say “that’s a doctor in my book” which signifies that he respects the work Goodsir has put in to his career so much more than most other characters (minus Dr. McDonald, of course). This response clearly shows he doesn’t believe that Goodsir is any less worthy of the title just because he hasn’t got the same training as the other ships’ doctors. Just to add to that, by giving him the title of doctor, it raises Goodsir to a higher level; one, in the eyes of other people, more deserving of respect than his actual station.

Sticking with the cairn scene (last one, I promise), Gore says “thank you” twice; one to Goodsir and the other to Des Voeux. Both are said in response to very small gestures but actually sound so genuine like they had done something more significant for him than taking his ice pick or handing him the folder-type thing (if anyone knows what this is, please let me know). As far as I can remember, there aren’t many thank yous thrown around in the show, especially not any as genuine as these.

I’ve been watching his 7 minutes of screen time so much recently and on about the 10th time, I noticed that he’s quite gentle when he touches other people. He gives friendly little pats on the shoulder or arm to Goodsir three times and to Des Voeux and Morfin once each but none of them are the sharp, quick ones you see from other characters (like Tartnell and Peglar earlier in ep2). I saw someone say on here that a lot of the cold boys subvert the stereotypes of traditional masculinity and I think this is a subtle but really sweet example of that.

And finally, on to how respected and liked he is. We only ever hear Sir John call him Graham, which is interesting because in Victorian England, Christian names weren’t something to be used lightly as they symbolised close friendship or intimacy. Crozier saying “amongst everything else, I know you mourn a friend” to Sir John after Gore’s death reinforces that. All of this is then furthered by how much Sir John clearly grieves Gore’s death along with the implied grieving of the other Erebus officers. It’s such a credit to his character to see (however brief) the pain and loss his death created among the men.

Sorry to end this on a sad note but here have a cookie 🍪 for making it to the end

And now for some special mentions (including some things about the real Lt Gore)

• the little pompom on his hat

• him helping Morfin up onto the ice ridge

• him shouting with the other men when they find the shore

• “I pray it’s English tea merchants coming from Kenton that look upon that message next”

• asking Goodsir if he’s seen something when he sees he’s looking away from the cairn (idk I just think it’s kinda sweet)

• his smile (that’s it)

And for the real Lt Gore:

• he was an accomplished artist

• Fitzjames described him as having “the sweetest of tempers”

• a gun exploded in his hand when he was shooting cockatoos in Australia for food. Ended up laid flat and all he could do was quietly say “killed the bird” (his hand was fine btw. Only a small injury)

• He was promoted to Captain in absentia by the Admiralty (before the official proclamation of the deaths of Franklin’s men)

[ryuichirou]

twst boy’s thoughts on breeding kink stuff. like who’d enjoy it and indulge in it, find it embarrassing, or straight up don’t like it. (i can see idia insisting he’s not into it but his tops are bullies…someone save him…)

Anon! Sorry for the late reply.

It was a bit of a tricky one because of my own complicated relationship with the breeding kink lol So I’m sorry if some of the hcs are less enjoyable because of it, but I tried to make it fun + it was very interesting to think about how these boys would actually feel about it.

Idia’s tops are indeed bullies… despite what I wrote in this post, Idia is so bulliable that every single top of him would go “alright let’s breed him” even without having this kink lol

Anyways~

Riddle – he probably hasn’t even heard of something like this, so if someone tries to explain this kink to him, he might misinterpret it and say that this is indeed the correct way to have an intercourse (= you should do it to procreate, sounds logical to him). This would probably make people who are aware chuckle… I think Riddle is way too far in his mind to fully get it. In terms of kink, he is more into other stuff… of which he also isn’t really aware.

Ace – if asked about it, he would act like this is kind of a yuck kink: why does everything have to be about making babies? At the same time, he is a simple guy, so if he is in the heat of the moment, he might start saying some bullshit with no filter, so it kiiiind of turns him on. But maybe it’s just because he is too damn horny and pretty much anything would turn him on lol

Deuce – not into it… or is he? Honestly, it’s hard to say because his brain just shuts off whenever he has sex, so maybe he indulged in something similar to this… when things got too animalistic. He can’t quite control how his body reacts when he feels filled; maybe it does feel kind of good… But he really doesn’t remember. He doesn’t-!!

Trey – he isn’t super into it; he did watch a bunch of porn with this exact kink at some point because he was trying out different things and seeing how he feels. And it didn’t really resonate with him a lot. I guess he just ties breeding with actually having babies too closely, and he would like to avoid that even in theory: the ultimate older brother is tired and wants to have sex without worrying too much…

Cater – he is not super into it, it just doesn’t click in his mind; but similarly to Ace, if he is horny, he is horny. He would play along if his partner suddenly started saying stuff during sex, but also add something like “no way~ Kei-kun doesn’t want to be a dad yet, are you really that hungry for that?” or something among the lines.

Leona – he is more into it than he wants to admit. It is kind of a huge secret, but when Ruggie noticed that, Leona smirked and said that this is another reason why he and his brother are so different: Falena has always been a very oblivious horny breeder, and Leona, well… he has always loved the feeling of being mounted and bred. Ruggie didn’t need to hear it in this kind of detail, but sure. 

Ruggie – he is not into it when his head is cool, but when he gets horny, he can’t quite control it. He cums a lot and cums often, so at some point his brain gets completely fried and he can’t think of anything other than the need to inseminate. He also finds humans with this kink kind of funny… don’t gatekeep breeding wtf Ruggie.

Jack – “all beastmen have breeding kink” is a stereotype, and Jack Howl is the reason it exists. Now this is someone who can’t actually help it and suffers because his instincts get the best of him; but at the same time there is this sentimental brain cell in his head that make him feel like the love he feels for someone just doubles when he breeds them. Even if he knows that Deuce won’t be able to produce a litter, he won’t stop trying… But when the sex is all done and Jack is sane again, he kind of cringes at all this.

Azul – he doesn’t have a breeding kink and doesn’t really see a point in it (someone please explain to Azul that kinks don’t really have points), but he gets kind of aroused from the thought of using breeding to control a person… I think that’s a whole different kink altogether though… Plus, ironically he is probably the most likely out of the trio to have his instincts to breed take over. I just want Idia to have octopus eggs…

Jade – he would be into the transformation a human body would have to go through to sustain eel eggs + he finds popping eggs very satisfying, does that count as a breeding kink? No Jade, it doesn’t! What the hell! Anyways, for Jade it’s more of a science project than a kink…

Floyd – he gets carried away easily, and no kink is really a 100% turn off for him. So sometimes it would be a yuck for him and he would say that pretending as if you’re making babies is gross and babies are also gross and the whole thing is gross. But sometimes he will start asking Riddle weird questions and say weird comments, like how his body is so tiny it probably would look giant if he had his eggs. He might even force Riddle to beg him to cum inside for that exact reason. But maybe this is just because he loves to mess with Riddle too much.

Kalim – he probably doesn’t even know it exists… and if he hears about someone having this kink, he would think that this is very wholesome and sweet. And a little bit sad. Say, Jamil, is there a way for them to have a kid if they want it so badly they keep trying? There must be, right?

Jamil – he doesn’t want to answer Kalim’s questions and doesn’t want to even think about it. In general, I think he is indifferent and sometimes doesn’t really like it. But the latter is because there was a period in his life during which he kept having nightmares about having Kalim’s babies and having sex with him repeatedly for years and years. He doesn’t know what the hell that was all about.

Vil – it’s not 100% totally impossible to get him in the mood for it if he is super deep in his roleplay mode. But in general and if he is not in a very specific mood and high level of arousal, Vil doesn’t really resonate with this kink all that much. Whenever he tries to think about it with a fresh mind, he thinks about how he’d rather be a hot step-mother + how cum is a bitch to clean out afterwards…

Rook – let’s be honest he probably loves it lol There aren’t a lot of kinks that this man doesn’t like. With breeding in particular though, to him it ties closely with the primal kink and domination play, so putting his seed inside someone is like a victory: a wild beast is now tamed, defeated and mellow, shivering under him, completely surrendering to Rook to the point of being ready to be his bitch. I guess Rook is the type of person that Ruggie would make fun of… he doesn’t make fun of Rook though, that’s too scary.

Epel – he is similar to both Ace and Deuce in a way. He would be violently against it in theory: he is insecure enough about enjoying being a bottom, he doesn’t need another added layer of anything even remotely feminine on top of it; but when he is being bred, his body adjusts to it surprisingly easily. He probably wouldn’t beg to breed him, but his body trembles very obviously if his partner is talking about this kind of stuff while fucking him. Epel is a little bunny…

Ortho – (breaking our usual order, because…) maybe he is going through a phase, maybe he is just messing with Idia, maybe he is serious, but sometimes he really seems super into breeding, especially in his puppy gear. And he talks about it a lot, too: about how he would be very happy if he could make a baby with niisan, how it would be a symbol of his love and such. It’s supposed to sound very romantic, but sounds very cursed, as if he just took these lines from some incest hentai (and he probably did). Anyways~

Idia – he is NOT into it, and to be completely fair, he probably genuinely isn’t into it. He would even rant about how weird it is and how it’s annoying that everything is about procreating, as if there are no other enjoyable aspects in sex (… in theory of course, who needs sex anyway). But there must be some reaction because Ortho learns what makes him react and continues to do it more and more. It’s probably an exclusive thing just for Ortho though… (he’ll still have Azul’s octopus eggs)

Lilia – it’s not like he is super into it, but he does like to tease his partners because they either get shocked by him implying that Lilia could breed him, or get super aroused, or both. Lilia loves all kinds of dirty talk, so he does talk about breeding and such a lot too. But it depends on his bottoms’ reaction: if it messes with their heads, Lilia does it with more enjoyment: he loves it when boys are visibly conflicted because what Lilia is saying is cursed, but somehow feels good. Lilia doesn’t do it with Malleus though… for some reason.

Silver – he doesn’t think about it much, I think he’s indifferent in general. Which doesn’t mean that he has never been bred before. Lilia also probably explained to him that sometimes fae have certain urges, and that he’ll have to help Sebek out sometimes in when it happens… and Silver always keeps it in mind. Maybe deep inside he is looking forward to it… a little bit. Anyways, he puts himself into mating press position when he knows it’s time, and it blows Sebek’s mind.

Sebek – rationally, he really doesn’t like it and even gets grossed out, but it’s because he is so troubled with his own instincts and his body maturing and becoming more demanding. So it’s like people with the breeding kink are just making fun of him in his head… At times he is even worse than Jack at it. He is meaner about it too, so if he is with Silver or Idia, he might start rambling something about them being grateful to have his seed. If he is with Malleus though, he’ll shut the fuck up and breed him like a good pup, feeling way too excited about the prospect of Malleus himself having his seed inside his body.

Malleus – it’s tied with his fertility because he lays eggs lol He loves getting cream-pied and marked, he loves being put into positions that would in theory ensure conception. At times it feels like Malleus doesn’t see any reason to have sex if he isn’t getting cream-pied… He also loves teasing his lovers with implications.

[paeliae-occasionally]

hi pae pae!!!

what is your process of designing your maps? and how do you approach lore? how does that brilliant mind of your work to create such fascinating history and complex worldbuilding?

je would like to know the trade secrets pretty pls

p.s. how far along are you on xaeren? if it’s not far enough, im afraid i’m going to have to start protesting soon… 😔

p.p.s. before you say school is taking up your time—understandable. have a great day. keep being brilliant. i just really want more xaeren content.

p.p.p.s. in my head, i imagine xaeren as so mighty fine that there’s an occult in some middle school of a suburban neighborhood with an old classroom turned into a shrine for his feral fangirls to host club meetings simping over him

that’s it’s. that’s all the pspspsppsss i have. miss you! have a great day! cheerios!

Hello Naveena! Lots of questions! We will go through them one at a time.

What is your process of designing your maps?

So with maps I will start by just noting down the history and current function of the city which gives me an idea of style and layout e.g. all of the cities that were part of the Laith’Edrels have lots of circular designs whereas a modern altic city may have more typical alleyways and rectangular buildings Next I plot in the districts of the city, like where the upper class live, where the high streets are etc. I also add any key buildings at this time, like a plot relevant church or a mages tower. Lastly I go back in and draw boxes and house shapes for 2 hours.

How do you approach lore?

A lot of my lore is just a set of stories where I look at a place on the map, or a group of people and go ‘what could have happened here?’ The bigger worldbuilding points like the dissolution came from me wanting to have magical decay from fewer more powerful beings to more less powerful beings, so I needed gods. However it always frustrates me when there are canonically gods in a world who just sit back and ignore the world crashing and burning as one frustrated hero has to fix the problem, so I made a reason for them to be gone

History and worldbuilding

Honestly a lot of my history writing was based off of the large amounts of real life history I read in my free time. Studying how cities and empires develop then putting my own spin on them because magic would change some things. Worldbuilding comes from my maps really. I will label different cultures on the map then come up with myths and legends for that culture, magic specific to them or their ancestors, wars and internal conflict. Then that spirals into pages of notes on the socioeconomic background for Onkairel. It is lots of fun.

“would like to know the trade secrets” she says after writing a whole book with detailed political lore and plenty of depth to the world.

You know the secrets. You also know the secrets to actually writing the book too.

So about Xaeren…

I will be writing the scene where he meets Kell soon so I will tag you in it when I do, but you are right about the school work :( so it may take a little while.

“an occult in some middle school of a suburban neighborhood with an old classroom turned into a shrine for his feral fangirls to host club meetings simping over him”

So you say that jokingly… No, to be fair he isn’t known for his an appearance but he is quite well known in Zairel as an assassin and member of house Hiresias. He is terrifying and intriguing to many because of his unique magic that Lysandri can’t explain so I would not be surprised if there was discussion of him in the lower ranks of Lysandri and Hiresias.

I will write some Xaeren soon. Have a lovely day <3

[hopelesslyromanticgay]

An Americano Please PT. 6

Words: 1400

Y/N's POV:

Not gonna lie, I'm kind of nervous to meet Jenna's friends. What if I fuck up? What if I'm accidentally a little rude? Or what if they all around don't like me?

God I sound like a teenager meeting their partner's parents for the first time.

I really enjoy spending time with Jenna, though, and I don't want her friends not liking me to mess that up. 

My phone pings with a text from Nessa.

                           Nessa😝

Girl, pull your shit together and get your

ass into that pizza shop. No I'm not stalking 

you, I just know you well enough by now.

                                                                            OK fine.

I timidly step into the store, the warm scent of baking pizza wafting around me.

"Y/N, over here!" I can hear Jenna exclaim, waving me over to her table. She's sitting with a few other people.

"These are my castmates, Emma, Joy, Georgie, and Hunter. Castmates, this is Y/N," Jenna excitedly introduces us.

"Hi, nice to meet you guys," I smile, waving stupidly.

"Nice to meet you too," Joy says kindly, "Jenna's told us to much about you."

I can see Jenna hide her face from me a little.

"Oh really, what's she said?" I ask innocently.

"Just how pretty, funny and kind-" Emma starts.

"Hey, have you guys seen that new baking show with the engineers?" Jenna interrupts. Darn it, I really wanted to know where Emma was going with that.

"No, none of us have the time to do that," Georgie laughs, "I'm surprised you do, honestly."

"No I watched it before we got here," she says quickly.

"So," Hunter starts, immediately way better at changing the subject, "What are some cool sites around Romania I should check out. I have a lot more free time on my hands with this show because I don't have to learn new hobbies, so I wanna get to know the area."

"Oh, well Jenna can tell you I'm an amazing tour guide," I start, "You have got to go to Bran castle, after all, it's said to be the home of Dracula. In reality, it was just a castle that Vlad Dracul once went to, but Bran Castle is the place Bram Stoker based Dracula's castle off of. So that makes it pretty cool."

"That's so cool, I'll have to take Naomi with me," he grins, "thanks for the recommendation."

"Oh yeah, perfect for her because you know, who she plays," Emma winks, "Sorry, we can't share a lot of details with cast outsiders," she says sadly.

"We'd love to share more, but we're under legal agreements," Joy adds.

"I totally get it," I say, feeling the slightest bit left out, but otherwise enjoying myself.

"Hey, so what's the deal with queer acceptance around here?" Hunter asks quietly, "because I want to propose to my boyfriend when he comes to visit in a few months but I don't know how publicly I can do that."

"Oh my god you're gonna propose?!" everyone at the table shrieks, all congratulating him individually.

"I'd like to, but I just need to know from a local," he says, looking to me.

"So, people do have the right to discriminate against you for being queer, and you certainly can't do the actual wedding here, but most people in Busteni aren't that homophobic. And I'm a queer person, so I'd say I'm a pretty good source," I tell him, "I'd say the worst outcome is if it's in front of tourists, because you never know what they'll do."

"Thank you so much," he tells me, "you're awesome."

"Glad I can help," I say happily. So at least one of her friends likes me.

"So, Y/N, how long have you lived in Romania?" Joy asks.

"About three years now," I answer truthfully.

"Wow, so you came at sixteen?" 

"Yeah," I say, eager to change the subject, "so how are you guys liking Romania so far?"

"People can definitely tell we're not from here," Emma giggles, "I mean, not speaking Romanian is a dead giveaway."

"Yeah, we're pretty good at being able to tell just from the language you speak," I laugh, "I only get away with it because I grew up speaking it."

"Woah, so you grew up bilingual?" Emma questions.

"Yeah, my mom grew up in Romania and my dad went to college here, so they both would speak it with me when I was a kid," I explain.

"Oh that's cool."

The rest of the night goes pretty similarly, all of us getting to know one another. I learn that Jenna used to autopsy little animals like the true Wednesday she is, which I found hilarious. I learned that Emma had to go to a werewolf bootcamp to get better at stunts. They were all such interesting people.

 By the end of the night I think they actually might not hate me! Success.

"Hey, Y/N, can I walk you home?" Jenna asks.

"Sure," I smile. The rest of the group exchange looks, and file out of the pizza shop.

"I think my friends like you," she tells me as we get up from out seats.

"You do?" I say, surprised.

"Yeah, they wouldn't have talked to you as much as they did if they didn't."

"Well in any case, I'm glad they're okay with me," I laugh.

"Yeah, me too," she smiles brightly, wrapping an arm around my waist and leaning her head on the side of my arm as we walk down the street. It's fully dark out, and the only thing lighting the street up are the old gas powered street lamps. Oh my god I hope she can't see my blush. She's so adorable.

"I was so worried they were gonna hate me," I confess after a few minutes of silence.

"Why would they do that?" she asks, "you're a lovely person." Hearing her say that melts my heart. She thinks I'm a lovely person!

"I'm glad you think that, but I don't think everyone shares that opinion."

"Well they're stupid, but in any case, thank you for coming to dinner with me tonight. My friends really wanted to meet you."

"Yeah, I bet it's because you told them how pretty funny and kind I was," I tease her. I can just barely see the blush on her face under the soft glow of the street lamps.

"I can't believe she told you I said that," she shakes her head.

"Oh so you did say it," I inquire.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't," she confesses. Wow, I can't believe she really thinks all that about me.

"Well what else did you tell them?"

"You know, the usual stuff."

"Such as?"

"W-well you know, the things you tell your friends when you like someone," she starts, "like what we say to each other, or the jokes we have. Or what we do when we hang out. You know, that stuff." Oh my god, she likes me. Like, likes me likes me,

"So you like me?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Of course I like you!" she all but shouts, "your sense of humor is amazing, you're beautiful, you don't judge me for anything I say or do, and you always want to hear what I have to say." Well what do I even say to that? Saying I like you too feels cheesy and like something a child would say.

We've come to a stop now, right outside my apartment. We're only inches apart, her beautiful brown eyes glistening in the light.

"Please say something, Y/N," she says quietly.

"Can I kiss you?" I ask softly. She exhales in relief before nodding intently.

I cup her cheek, bringing our lips together. It feels like fireworks are going off with my stomach. She wraps her arms around my waist. I never realized kissing someone could feel this right. I can taste the tropical chapstick on her soft lips, and smell her subtle perfume. 

What feels like both an eternity or also less than a second later, we pull away, both smiling.

"So I'll see ya for coffee tomorrow?" she asks.

"You can count on it," I smile. She pulls me into an embrace, burying her head in my shoulder. We stay like that peacefully for a minute, swaying in the wind.

"I have an early start tomorrow, so I should get home now," she tells me.

"Aww okay. I understand. Well, good night gorgeous," I quickly lean down to kiss her again. Her smile widens.

"Good night, Y/N/N," she blows me a kiss before walking off.

Wow. What a night.

A/N: I know Y/N is supposed to be mostly customizable, but I swear the thing with the parents WILL make sense later! love u guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter:)

Random Notes: 

- I'm not making up that the lipstick jenna used on the set of Wednesday was in fact made from tropical fruit. 

- Eidolon is actually a real pizza place in Busteni.

- I spent HOURS on the tour chapter learning about places in Busteni. Finding the places on SnapMap, reading their reviews, and cross referencing the information. I also spent a while learning about Romanian geography. Romanians, I'm so sorry if I'm not doing your country the justice it deserves.

- A lot of the laws around queer people in Romania are less than progressive, but being queer in itself is legal.

[anonzentimes]

Hi!!

What is your opinion on servant/despair nagito?

AUGH! hello autism activating anon thank you from your ask!

Servant I think honestly is pretty well written and doesn't erase any of Nagito's character which I really love. Also he's in like the most bdsm outfit??? ever??? HUH?? it's kind of hilarious tbh.

Mostly, I really enjoy that as a Despair Nagito's beliefs aren't just erased. He's willing to do even more for hope than before, becoming despair himself, whereas before he seemed to have a limit he wouldn't cross. Which is honestly saying something since he thinks murder can be valid in the name of hope beforehand anyways.

I also like the funny detail that he's a servant with a chain on his neck at all times, but no one is really pulling the strings? Like, he's a "servant," to the warriors of hope but truly he has control over the situation. He chooses to stay there, if he truly desired to he could have left. His chain is there, he has the appearance of a servant, but no one is tugging on it, he's the one truly in control. Hopefully that makes sense lmao!!

I also thought that him seeing Komaru being a normal girl and knowing Makoto had hidden hope as a talent thinking she might have hope as well is pretty well written! It definitely makes sense why he'd think that.

Also, as weird as it is I actually really like how he looks as servant. The artwork for his sprites and the fanart I've seen is really awesome honestly!!

I used to think that he was just in Ultra Despair Girls for fan service, which probably a bit, but I do actually really enjoy how they use his role as a contributing antagonist properly. It's mostly expanding upon the idea of him as a Despair that we see in Chapter 0 of Danganronpa 2 with his love and hate obsession with Junko. He wants to be more involved than ever before and has no limit for how far he'll go, he actively will create the despair needed himself for hope to thrive. And that's so cool!!! It's basically pulling him and his beliefs their utmost extreme to explain how someone like him could become a despair, and the best part is that it makes sense! You can understand it given his character. He hates despair, so the only way he'd ever be okay with becoming despair is if it was in the name of hope, and that's exactly what they do!

I also think it's SO funny that out of all of the despairs, he's the most harmless out of them. Like, Sonia burned her own country to the GROUND, Teruteru ate his OWN MOTHER, but Nagito? He was just a servant to some weird terrorist kids, and ultimately was the main contributing factor to hope winning in the end. He brought Komaru so there could be a fair fight with Hope and Despair after all!

I think Mocaca's character after Ultra Despair Girls was kind of treated badly lmao, like, I feel like there was a lot of missed potential but they just threw her to the side because they never planned to do anything with her. However the Idea Nagito's ramblings just made her sick of the world is HILARIOUS though. Kind of Ironic that he saved her in hopes to be a successor to Junko for more hope to win in the end when his contributions led her to becoming nothing.

Also pretty Ironic that he KNEW what Izuru was going to do, and he wanted to see Junko again. But he never did, he died before he got to see what him as a Despair wanted to see. By his own hands nonetheless!!

Nagito as a Despair is really fucking weird with his outfit and all, but I actually really do love him. I really love the outfit, the approach they take to the only way he could become a despair with his beliefs, and his role in the story.

The brainwashing plot is a little clumsy, but I do enjoy that the way they treat brainwashing in the Danganronpa franchise is that the despair video manipulates your emotions. It doesn't overwrite anything, it just adds a desire to cause despair or excuses causing despair more. I think it's a little more realistic than just a whole bunch of teenagers being talked into becoming terrorists anyway.

servant you are iconic mwa <3

[tracingpatternswrites]

Decision week pt 2 | Married at First Sight

(Read the whole thing from the beginning here)

The time has come for our couples to make their final decisions. Will they choose to stay married, or will they go their separate ways? They have come a long way in the past five weeks, and now it’s time for them to decide whether or not they want to continue on this journey together.

Welcome to Married at First Sight - the Final.

Read on AO3.

Snippet below the cut.

Sirius had been right, the house did feel empty without Remus there. It surprised him, in a way, that he had grown used to the presence of someone else so quickly. Before Remus moved in, the only experience Sirius had of living with other people, that wasn’t family, was when he and James had shared a dorm during school.

He was normally fiercely protective of his own space, and he didn’t mind spending time on his own. Whenever he wanted company he would go over to James’ and Lily’s place, he knew he was always welcome there, but one reason he loved visiting them was that he knew that at the end of the day, he could go back home.

He had been tossing and turning all night after he returned from Brighton, unable to sleep. He wondered if Remus did the same, if his mind was also buzzing with thoughts of the big decision they had coming up.

When the clock on his bedside table showed six am, Sirius couldn’t bring himself to stay in bed any longer. He made himself a coffee before heading out into the garden. He sat down in the same place where he and Remus had sat talking about their future and it felt absurd that it had only been a few days ago.

Sirius wanted to call Remus, wanted to check in on him, but they weren’t allowed to have any contact before they met at the studio to make their decision. So, instead, Sirius was left to his own thoughts, his mind whirring a mile a minute.

He was glad that Remus had asked him to come to Brighton. He felt as if he had seen one Remus here, in the house with him in London, and another one when they went up north to meet his parents. The Remus he had seen with his friends was yet another version, and now he could add Brighton Remus as a piece to the puzzle.

It had made sense to see Remus there, and it suited him to walk through the narrow lanes with the small shops and cafés and vintage boutiques. Even the flat had made sense, and Sirius honestly didn’t think that it was as bad as Remus had made it out to be. It was supposed to be a temporary thing anyway, and Sirius had seen much worse places in his youth.

He knew that he might have become a little carried away as he told Remus he could imagine living in Brighton, he was still a London boy at heart, but being close to the beach and the sea had its appeal. Especially if they were going to start a family.

That was the other thing – a family. Sirius wanted one; he wanted to do things differently and break the Black family curse of horrible parents and dysfunctional childhoods. He hadn’t thought too much of the details, he hadn’t been close enough to get what he wanted to properly consider it, but when they had talked about it he had realised it was important to him.

He knew that Remus had said that he would consider it, that he needed to think about it, but what if he decided that it wasn’t for him? Would Sirius be able to accept that, or would it be a deal breaker?

He tried to imagine how it would have felt if Remus had told him that the day before. If Remus had told him straight up that children were out of the question, would Sirius have walked away? He wasn’t sure and that scared him.

When he couldn’t put up with his own thoughts any more he pulled his phone out. It was barely gone eight but he knew that James would be up, they were both far too full of energy to sleep in. Unsurprisingly, James picked up after only two rings.

“Pads! What’s up?”

“Not much,” replied Sirius, sighing softly as he leaned back against the wall behind him. “I just– I’m back home. Alone.”

“Remus back in Brighton?” James’ voice was sympathetic. “That sucks, mate.”

“Yeah,” Sirius exhaled. “I know that we’re supposed to spend this time apart to figure out what we want but…”

He trailed off, and he heard some rustling on the other end before James’ voice came back.

“But you’re worried that thinking is going to give you, or him, cold feet?”

Sirius gave a non-committal grunt.

“I just want to call him but I know that I can’t.”

James didn’t reply straight away, there was another rustling noise and Sirius could imagine James making his way down the stairs and into the kitchen of his and Lily’s house.

“Y’know, we were thinking of going to Hampton Court for the day,” said James as Sirius heard the sound of his coffee machine on the other end of the line. “You should come with us. It’d be good for you to get out a bit, and Harry’s been asking for you.”

Sirius felt his chest tighten with affection for his best friend, grateful that James always seemed to know exactly what he needed, even before Sirius knew it himself.

“Yeah,” he said, exhaling softly. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

Continue on AO3.