fleet-of-fiction

[fleet-of-fiction]

We enjoy it because its an intrusive thought we can watch play out without damaging ourselves thinking its truly what we want. We dont want it. But its still there.

well personally i like it when there’s incest and necrophilia and murder and cannibalism and abuse and torture and gore and mutilation and body horror and sexual depravity and death.

[fleet-of-fiction]

TASTE

Pairing: Jake x fem!Reader

General Warnings: 18+ minors DNI / Emotional Manipulation / Infidelity/Emotional Cheating / Confrontation and Verbal Conflict / Breakup/Heartbreak / Toxic Relationships / Gaslighting/Doubt / Jealousy/Envy / Abandonment/Fear of Rejection.

Summary: Caught in a messy love triangle, you struggle with lingering feelings for Jake, your ex, who is now with Anna. When Anna confronts you about your and Jake’s unresolved connection, tensions rise, forcing Jake to face his indecision.

The room was dimly lit, shadows stretching like whispers across the walls. You sat on the edge of your bed, staring at your phone, the screen glowing with a picture that stirred a cocktail of emotions you weren’t ready to name.

Jake’s face smiled back at you from the post, his arm draped around someone else—Anna. The caption read “Back where we belong.” you snorted under your breath, tossing the phone onto the nightstand.

Back where they belonged? Sure, if belonging meant pretending nothing had happened, like the ghost of your shared nights hadn’t carved itself into Jake’s every word, every action. You bit your lip, your gaze drifting to the corner of your room where a worn hoodie still hung—Jake’s hoodie. You’d meant to give it back, but every time you tried, your fingers refused to let it go.

The truth was, you liked the way it smelled, faint traces of his cologne and the salty memory of skin against skin.

Jake wasn’t supposed to be here tonight, not in your mind or your heart. But there he was, threaded into every thought as you leaned back against the headboard, his voice still haunting you.

“It’s just you,” he had whispered that last night, his breath warm against your neck, his hands mapping out the lines of your body like a blind cartographer desperate to memorize every hill and valley.

But it wasn’t just you, not anymore.

Anna was beautiful. you couldn’t deny it. With her perfect hair and confident smile, she was the type who didn’t second-guess her reflection. You had once envied that. But now, you pitied Anna in ways you couldn’t explain.

Jake had gone back to Anna, yet part of him hadn’t left. You knew it—felt it in the way he lingered too long in your orbit, in the unspoken memories that flickered like static between us when we crossed paths. It wasn’t just in your head; it was in his eyes, his silence, and the way he laughed at your jokes even when he shouldn’t.

The thought made you bold. You grabbed your phone and scrolled through your gallery until you found the photo—the one you’d snapped on impulse after a night together. Jake sprawled out on your couch, the majority of his clothes missing. His hair was a mess, his lips parted in the kind of grin that wasn’t meant to be photographed, but you’d caught it anyway.

You stared at it for a moment, then hit “Send.”

You closed your eyes, feeling a wave of warmth and contentment spread through you. The memory of that night with Jake on the couch seemed to be etched in your mind, playback quality. You could feel the softness of the couch beneath you, the warmth of his body next to yours, and the gentle rhythm of his kisses.

As you let yourself sink into this daydream, your hand slowly slid beneath the waistband of your pajama shorts and found its way to your clit, rubbing it in circles just like Jake had done. You felt a sharp jolt course through you as your imagination ran wild with images of that night. The memory of his touch sent a ripple of heat between your legs, and your breath hitched as you continued to stroke yourself.

You imagined the way Jake would softly whisper "You feel so good," in your ear; the sound sending a shiver through your body. Your imagination filled the room with the scent of Jake's cologne, and the sounds of your lovemaking echoed in your ears. You felt him behind you, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer.

Your body trembled as you relived the night with Jake in your mind. Your hand moved faster as you imagined his lips on your neck, his soft moans. You felt a building pressure within you, and you knew it wouldn't be long before you reached your peak.

As you imagined him thrusting inside you, you felt a surge of warmth build within you until it became too much. With a silent cry, you came hard against your hand, the memory of Jake's touch still lingering in your mind, and the real sensation of your own touch still fresh on your skin.

With shaky breaths, you came back to reality. The dim light of your room was now casting long shadows across the walls, as if trying to erase the memory of Jake's touch from existence. But you knew better. That memory would linger, like a phantom limb, always there, always aching for more.

As you cleaned yourself up and climbed back into bed, your heart ached with the knowledge that Jake was out there, with Anna, pretending that their shared moments never happened. But you couldn't forget those few stolen nights you had together - the nights where he chose you over everything else. And in that choice, in that stolen moment, you found strength.

You closed your eyes, knowing that tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow would bring a new battlefield for your heart.

The way Jake's lips felt against yours as his tongue dominated you, his strong hands gripping your hips as he drove himself deeper inside of you, and the way he quietly whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you both reached your climax.

A second later, your phone vibrated. His name flashed across the screen, the text short and clipped: “What are you doing?”

You smirked to yourself, the kind of smirk that came with power.

“Just reminding you.”

Anna might have him now, but you knew better. Every time Jake touched Anna, he’d feel your ghost. Every kiss, every shared laugh—it would always taste like you. You had left a mark, one that didn’t wash away with time or promises. And as you turned off your phone and buried yourself under the blanket, you knew you weren’t going to fight for him. You didn’t have to. Because in the quiet of your shared moments, in the echoes of laughter and whispers, Jake would always belong to you in ways Anna would never understand.

You didn’t expect a reply that night. you had sent the message more for yourself than for him, a small act of defiance in a situation that felt otherwise out of you control. You thought you could sleep it off, let the satisfaction of the moment settle like embers in a fire, but the vibration of your phone woke you less than an hour later.

“Reminding me of what?”

His response was deliberate, a question that read more like a challenge. You rolled your eyes, your heart pounding despite yourself. Of course, he’d play this game. Jake was always like that—pushing just far enough to get a reaction, but never far enough to take responsibility for what came next.

You stared at the message, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. The smart move would be to ignore it, let him stew in the uncertainty of your silence. But you had never been good at the smart move.

“Of what you gave up.”

You sent it before you could second-guess yourself, your pulse quickening as the message delivered. The weight of your words hung in the air like a storm cloud, and for a moment, you almost regretted them. Almost.

The reply came faster this time.

“I didn’t give anything up.”

You laughed bitterly, the sound cutting through the stillness of your bedroom. Jake was good—too good at convincing himself of things that weren’t true. But you had the one thing Anna didn’t: the truth. you had lived in his vulnerability, had held his secrets in the palm of your hand. Anna could have his public smiles, but you had seen the cracks beneath them.

“Keep telling yourself that,” you typed back.

The days passed, but Jake’s presence didn’t fade. If anything, it grew stronger, lingering in every corner of your mind. You busied yourself with work, friends, anything to keep the thoughts at bay, but they crept in like shadows at sunset, unavoidable and consuming.

It wasn’t until Friday night that you saw him again, this time in person. You had been dragged out to a bar by a well-meaning friend, the kind who thought tequila shots could cure a broken heart. You had just started to loosen up, the buzz of alcohol softening your edges, when you felt it—the unmistakable weight of someone’s gaze.

You turned, and there he was.

Jake stood across the room, his arm casually slung over Anna’s shoulder. He looked good, annoyingly so, in that effortless way he always did. But it wasn’t his smile or his laugh that drew your attention. It was his eyes—locked on yours, unblinking, as if the rest of the room had faded away.

For a moment, you considered looking away. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he still had that effect on you. But then you remembered your own power—the way you could still make him question everything with a single glance.

So you held his gaze, your lips curling into the faintest smirk. You raised your glass in his direction, a silent toast to the chaos you both knew you had created.

The bar bathroom was as grimy as expected, with flickering fluorescent lights and the faint stench of spilled beer clinging to the air. You leaned against the chipped sink, staring at your reflection. You’d come here to escape the suffocating press of bodies and the clamour of music, but now, alone with your thoughts, you weren’t sure which was worse.

The door creaked open, and you glanced in the mirror to see Anna step inside. Her heels clicked sharply against the tiles as she walked in, her eyes locking onto your reflection like a predator honing in on prey.

“Y/N,” Anna said, her voice cool, almost rehearsed. You didn’t smile, didn’t offer any pleasantries.

You straightened, turning to face her fully. “Anna,” you said cautiously, your pulse quickening.

Anna crossed her arms, leaning back against the door as if to block the exit. “I think we need to talk.”

You sighed, already sensing where this was going. “I don’t think we do.”

“Oh, I disagree,” Anna replied, her tone sharpening. “You’ve been texting Jake.”

The words hung in the air, heavy and pointed. You felt the colour rise to your cheeks but forced yourself to stay calm. “I’m not sure that’s any of your business.”

“It is my business,” Anna snapped, her composed demeanour starting to crack. “He’s my boyfriend, Y/N. And yet, here you are, still clinging to him like some pathetic—”

“Careful,” you cut in, your voice low but firm. “You came to me, remember?”

Anna glared, her jaw tightening. “You don’t get it, do you? Jake and I are trying to move on, trying to build something, and you’re standing in the way.”

You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “Is that what you think? That I’m the problem here?”

“You are the problem,” Anna hissed. “He doesn’t need you. He doesn’t want you. Whatever you two had, it’s over. But for some reason, you can’t let it go.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Funny, because last time I checked, he’s the one who can’t let go. Maybe you should ask him why he texts me back and keeps coming back to me instead of blaming me for it.”

Anna flinched as if you had slapped her. For a moment, the room fell silent, the hum of the faulty light fixture the only sound between them.

“I know what you’re doing,” Anna said finally, her voice quieter but no less venomous. “You think you’ve left some kind of mark on him, that he’ll never really be mine because of you.”

You tilted your head, a cold smile playing on your lips. “You said it, not me.”

Anna’s face hardened, and she took a step closer. “If you think you’ve won, you’re wrong. He’s with me now, not you. And no matter what you think you had, it clearly wasn’t enough to keep him.”

The words stung, but you refused to show it. Instead, you crossed your arms, leaning back against the sink with a confidence you didn’t entirely feel. “You’re right, Anna. He’s with you. But if he was really happy, if you were really enough, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?”

Anna’s lips parted, but no words came out. The silence between them was charged, and you could see the storm brewing behind Anna’s eyes.

“I don’t want Jake,” you said, your tone softening slightly. “But you should ask yourself why he still wants me. Can you answer that for me, Anna?” You went for the jugular, hissing the harshest words you could think of, “ Tell me, Anna, how do I taste? I bet he thinks of me when he’s fucking you.”

Anna’s eyes flashed, and for a second, you thought she might lash out. But instead, Anna straightened, her expression hardening into one of steely resolve.

“Stay away from him,” Anna said, her voice like ice. “Or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

You didn’t flinch. “Good luck with that.”

Anna stared at you for another moment, then turned on her heel and stormed out of the bathroom, leaving the door to slam shut behind her.

You exhaled slowly, gripping the edge of the sink to steady yourself. Your heart was pounding, your hands trembling slightly. The confrontation had rattled you more than you wanted to admit.

But as you stared at your reflection, you couldn’t help but smirk. Anna’s fury was proof of one thing: Jake wasn’t as over you as he wanted to pretend. And that knowledge, for better or worse, gave you a strange sense of power you weren’t ready to let go of just yet.

The night dragged on, and you thought you might escape without an interaction with Jake. But as you stepped outside for some fresh air, Jake was suddenly there, materializing from the shadows like a ghost summoned by your thoughts.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice low, almost hesitant.

You turned slowly, your expression neutral. “Jake. Shouldn’t you be inside with Anna?”

His jaw tightened, and for a second, you thought he might actually walk away. But Jake wasn’t the type to back down from a confrontation, especially not with you.

“She wanted to stay. I needed some air.”

You arched an eyebrow, crossing your arms. “Right. Air.”

You both stood there in tense silence, the night wrapping around you like a cocoon. Jake shoved his hands into his pockets, his gaze darting between your face and the ground.

“You’re not making this easy,” he muttered finally.

You laughed, a sharp sound that cut through the tension. “Easy? Jake, you’re the one who walked away, remember? I’m just living with the mess you left behind.”

His eyes snapped up to meet yours, the frustration in them clear. “I didn’t walk away. You… you pushed me away.”

“Is that what you’re telling yourself now?” you shot back, stepping closer. Your voice softened, but your words hit harder. “Every time you touch her, every time you kiss her, you’re still thinking about me. You’ll never admit it, but we both know it’s true.”

Jake didn’t respond right away. His silence was an answer in itself, and you felt a flicker of satisfaction at the way his resolve seemed to crumble in real-time.

“You don’t get it, do you?” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re in my head, Y/N. You’re everywhere. And no matter how much I try to move on, I can’t.”

You swallowed hard, your composure threatening to crack. you wanted to believe his words, but the part of you that had been hurt before held you back. “Then why go back to her?” you asked, your voice trembling despite yourself.

Jake stepped closer, the distance between you shrinking to nothing. His hand brushed against yours, a fleeting touch that sent electricity through your veins.

“Because it’s easier,” he admitted, his voice raw. “Because you scare the hell out of me.”

You blinked, stunned into silence. you had expected excuses, maybe even anger—but not this. Not honesty.

“Jake—” you started, but he cut you off with a bitter laugh.

“Don’t,” he said, stepping back. “Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

And just like that, he was gone, leaving you standing alone under the cold light of the moon, your heart aching with the weight of everything unsaid.

The night air seemed colder in Jake’s absence, or maybe it was the way his words lingered, slicing through you like a blade dulled only by repetition. Because it’s easier. The phrase played on a loop in your mind, carving grooves into your resolve.

You stood there for what felt like hours, the dull hum of the bar behind you and the ghost of Jake’s touch still warm against your hand. It would’ve been easier to hate him, to shrug him off as a fleeting mistake, but the truth was messier than that. You loved him—or at least the version of him you thought you knew.

But this Jake, the one who stood frozen between two worlds, terrified of the chaos you both could create together? You weren’t sure what to do with him.

Over the next few days, you tried to push the encounter to the back of your mind. You threw yourself into work, avoided your usual haunts, and ignored the buzz of your phone whenever it lit up with Jake’s name. He didn’t call—of course, he didn’t. Jake’s method of communication was always subtler: texts that teetered between casual and cryptic.

“Hope you’re okay.”

“Last Friday got intense. I’m sorry.”

“Can we talk?”

The bar bathroom confrontation stayed with you longer than you cared to admit. Anna’s words echoed in your mind on the cab ride home, biting and sharp. “If you think you’ve won, you’re wrong.” The line replayed like a broken record, but it didn’t hurt as much as it should have. If anything, it left you feeling oddly vindicated.

Anna wasn’t wrong to be angry. Jake’s indecision had turned all of them into casualties of his chaos. But what stuck with you was Anna’s desperation—the cracks beneath her perfectly composed exterior. She wasn’t angry at you, not really. She was terrified. Terrified that you weren’t just a memory Jake could shrug off, that you were still in the picture no matter how hard Anna tried to erase you.

The next day, you found yourself avoiding you phone, unsure of how to process everything. The memory of Anna’s fury was too fresh, and the weight of Jake’s presence felt like an anchor you couldn’t cut loose. You spent the morning pacing your apartment, cycling through emotions you couldn’t name: guilt, anger, longing, and something dangerously close to satisfaction.

By the afternoon, you resolve broke. You picked up you phone and scrolled through your messages until you found Jake’s name. His last text was still unread: “Can we talk?”

You hesitated, your thumb hovering over the screen. Then, before you could talk yourself out of it, you typed: “Meet me at the park. 5 PM.”

When you arrived at the park, the November chill was setting in, the air crisp and biting. You found a bench near the edge of the small pond, where ducks floated lazily in the fading light. You tugged your coat tighter around yourself, watching your breath puff out in small clouds, and waited.

Jake appeared a few minutes later, his hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket. His hair was disheveled, his expression unreadable, but his eyes softened when he saw you.

“You came,” he said as he approached.

“You asked,” you replied, your tone neutral.

He sat beside you, leaving just enough space to keep things from feeling too intimate. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the silence filled only by the distant laughter of children playing on the swings and the rustle of leaves in the wind.

“I ran into Anna at the bar that night,” you said finally, cutting through the quiet.

Jake’s head snapped toward you, his eyes wide. “What?”

“She confronted me. In the bathroom.” Your gaze stayed fixed on the pond, your voice calm despite the storm brewing beneath your surface. “She knows we’ve been talking. She knows you’re… not over this.”

Jake ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “I told you it was over between us.”

“Did you?” you turned to him then, your expression unreadable. “Because it doesn’t feel over, Jake. Not for you, and definitely not for me.”

Jake looked away, his jaw tightening. “I didn’t want it to end like this. I didn’t want to hurt you—”

“But you did,” you interrupted, your voice firm. “You hurt her, Jake. And you hurt me. And I’m tired of being stuck in the middle of whatever this is.”

He flinched at you words but didn’t argue. Instead, he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “But it did.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of the conversation settling around them like a heavy blanket.

“Do you love her?” you asked finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jake looked up at you, his eyes raw and searching. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I thought I did. But with you… it’s different. It’s always been different.”

Your chest tightened, your emotions warring with your logic. You wanted to believe him, to trust that his feelings were real. But after everything, how could you?

“Jake, I can’t keep doing this,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t be the person you run to when you don’t know what you want. I need more than that. I deserve more than that.”

“I know,” he said, his voice breaking.

Tears stung the corners of your eyes, but you blinked them back, refusing to let them fall. “Then figure it out, Jake. Because I can’t wait for you forever.”

He reached for you hand, his touch hesitant, almost pleading. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You already did,” you said, pulling you hand away.

The words hung between them, heavy and final. You stood, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself. “I hope you figure out what you want, Jake. But until you do, don’t contact me again.”

You turned and walked away, your heart breaking with every step. You didn’t look back, didn’t let yourself waver. Because for the first time in months, you were choosing yourself.

And it felt both liberating and devastating all at once.

But Jake wasn’t the type to let things go. And so, late one night, your phone buzzed again. This time, it wasn’t a text.

The knock at your door startled you out of your half-sleep. You sat up, heart racing, and stared at the clock: 11:47 PM. You considered ignoring it, but something told you, you already knew who it was.

When you opened the door, Jake stood on the other side, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his leather jacket. His hair was messy, his eyes tired, but the moment he saw you, his expression softened.

“Jake,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said simply, and there it was again—that raw honesty that cut through all your defences.

You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe. “And Anna? Does she know you’re here?”

Jake flinched, and for a second, you thought he might turn and leave. But instead, he stepped closer, his voice low and urgent. “Anna and I… we’re done. We’ve been done, Y/N. I just didn’t know how to let her go until now.”

Your breath hitched, a thousand thoughts colliding at once. “And now you do? What changed, Jake?”

“You did,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “You make me feel alive in ways I didn’t know were possible. But it scares me because you see all of me—the good, the bad, the parts I don’t even like about myself. And I didn’t know how to handle that. I still don’t.”

You felt your walls crumbling, but you weren’t ready to let them fall completely. “So, what? You run back to her because I’m too much? Do you even hear how ridiculous that sounds?”

“I know,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know I screwed up. But I’m here now, trying to fix it, trying to tell you that I’m done running.”

Your heart pounded, every muscle in your body tensed. You wanted to believe him, to trust the vulnerability in his eyes. But you also knew how easily words could lie.

“Jake, you can’t just show up here and expect me to forget everything. I can’t be the girl you come to when the rest of your world falls apart. I won’t do it.”

He stepped closer, his hand hovering near yours but not quite touching. “I’m not asking you to forget. I’m asking you to let me prove I’m not that guy anymore.”

Your lips parted, but no words came out. You wanted to push him away, to slam the door and keep him locked out of your life for good. But the part of you that had memorized the lines of his face, the way his smile curved when he let himself be truly happy—that part was screaming for you to take the risk.

“You hurt me,” you said finally, your voice trembling. “You don’t get to just walk in and fix that overnight.”

“I know,” he said. “But I’ll spend as long as it takes proving I’m worth it.”

You didn’t know how long your stood there, the silence between your heavier than words. Finally, you stepped aside, letting him in. Jake walked past you, his presence filling the room with an energy that was both comforting and unsettling.

You closed the door and turned to face him. “This doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

Jake nodded, his expression serious. “I don’t expect you to. I just want a chance to show you I’m not giving up.”

And for the first time in weeks, you allowed yourself to hope—just a little—that maybe, just maybe, things could be different this time.

.

.

.

.

@lvnterninthenight @katuschka @edgingthedarkness @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @its-interesting-van-kleep @thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold

[fleet-of-fiction]

Definitely went over to Wattpad just to find and read The Master series again...🫠🙃🔥 seriously one of my favorite Jake fics of all time

Awwww babe thankyou that means so much!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[fleet-of-fiction]

CASUAL

Pairing: Jake x fem!reader

General Warnings: 18+ minors DNI / angst / pining / smut (depictions of sex acts) / strong language

Summary: You struggle in a “casual” relationship with Jake, who blurs the lines between intimacy and indifference. Hoping for more, you endure heartbreak and humiliation before realizing your worth.

The Beginning of Something (Not) Serious

You spotted Jake across the room, leaning back with that familiar smirk, his eyes scanning the crowd before they landed on you. There was a magnetism about him you couldn’t resist. He was known for his charm and his tendency to keep people at a distance, always slipping away before things got too real. But when he looked at you, it felt different—or maybe that was just your wishful thinking.

You smiled back at Jake, feeling a rush of excitement mixed with nerves as he made his way through the crowd towards you. His voice was low and smooth as he greeted you, "Well, well, if it isn't the most captivating person in the room."

You raised an eyebrow teasingly, replying, "Flattery will get you nowhere, Jake. I'm immune to your charms."

He chuckled softly, his gaze intense as he leaned in closer, "Is that so? We'll see about that." There was a playful challenge in his eyes that set your heart racing.

As the music pulsed around you, the conversation flowed effortlessly between you. Jake's words were laced with wit and sarcasm, keeping you on your toes. You found yourself drawn in by his every word, unable to tear your gaze away from him.

Suddenly, a mischievous glint appeared in Jake's eyes as he suggested, "How about we get out of here? This party is getting a bit dull for my taste."

You arched a brow, feigning nonchalance but secretly thrilled by the proposal. "And where would we go instead?"

Jake smirked, his hand extending towards you invitingly. "Anywhere but here. Let's make our own adventure."

You talked, laughed, and one thing led to another. Soon, you two were in the corner of a bar, lips locked, unaware of anyone else around you. The world around you faded into the background as Jake's lips moved against yours with a hunger that sent shivers down your spine. His touch was electric, igniting a fire within you that you couldn't ignore. Every kiss, every caress, fueled the growing desire between you.

Without breaking the kiss, Jake's hand found its way to the small of your back, pulling you closer to him as if he never wanted to let you go. The heat between your bodies was intoxicating, and you found yourself craving more of him with each passing second.

When you finally pulled away for a moment to catch your breath, Jake's eyes bore into yours with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.

“You know, no attachments, right baby?” He whispered.

You swallowed your disappointment, shrugging it off with a smile. Sure, you thought. You could handle this. Besides, why would you want more from someone like Jake?

The Passenger Seat

One week in, and things between you were a whirlwind. You hadn’t defined anything, but the intensity was undeniable. One night, you went on a late drive, winding through the hills, his music blaring, your laughter spilling out as he cracked jokes and told wild stories about his childhood. Jake pulled over at a spot overlooking the city, and in the quiet, things turned heated.

The car was alive with the sound of both of your breaths, the thud of his heart against your chest, and the squeaking of the leather seats. His palm grasped your hip possessively as he pulled you onto his lap, grinding against you. You gasped, arching into him. He grabbed your ass cheek roughly and squeezed before sliding his hand between your legs, his fingers finding their way to your soaked core. You moaned into his neck, thrusting your hips upward as he began to tease and manipulate you.

"Fuck, you're wet for me," He purred in your ear, nipping at your lobe. "I gotta taste that." With a rough motion, he pulled you off his lap and slid down between your legs until his face was buried in your folds. His tongue darted out to trace your entrance before slowly pushing inside, causing you to cry out in pleasure.

As Jake's tongue delved deeper into your folds, you found yourself unable to suppress your moans of pleasure. You could feel his grin against your sensitive skin as he continued his assault, relishing in the way your body responded to his touch.

"Oh god, Jake," you managed to gasp out, your fingers tightening in his hair. "Don't stop."

He hummed in response, the vibration sending shivers down your spine. His skilled fingers worked in tandem with his tongue, expertly bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

"Mm that the spot, baby?" he murmured, pausing for a moment to look up at you through hooded eyes with a smirk. "You like it right there?"

You could only nod, biting your bottom lip as you fought back another moan. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, every touch and sensation intensified by the darkness surrounding them.

"Tell me," he commanded, his voice low and commanding. "Tell me how much you want this... need this."

Your breath hitched as you struggled to find the words. "I want... I want you, Jake," you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. "I want all of you."

His smile widened at your confession before he returned his attention to the task at hand. His tongue resumed its rhythmic movements, each stroke sending another wave of pleasure crashing through you. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps.

You placed your hands on either side of his head, digging your nails into the leather seat as he lapped hungrily at your arousal. You rocked your hips back and forth against his face, eager for more stimulation as he deepened the assault on your senses. The world around you faded away as he focused solely on bringing you to orgasm.

"Go on," he urged, his fingers pressing harder against your clit. "Let it go for me."

With one final roll of your hips, you did just that. Your orgasm ripped through you like a tidal wave, leaving you breathless and shaking in its wake. Jake didn't stop until you begged him to, his name tumbling from your lips in a breathless chant. As your body continued to tremble from the aftershocks, Jake's arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling you close as he whispered soothing words into your ear.

"That's it, baby. Just let it all go. You're safe with me," he murmured, stroking your hair affectionately.

Despite the wild intensity of the past few moments, this moment with him felt like a cocoon of warmth and safety. A feeling you hadn't expected but appreciated nonetheless. You clung to him, breathing in deeply, savouring his scent, and relishing in the momentary sense of calm that had unexpectedly washed over you.

Slowly, your breathing returned to normal, and you pulled away from him slightly, looking into his eyes. There was a depth there that hadn't been there before - a vulnerability hidden beneath the layers of effortless charm and smooth facade.

In those moments, his hands on your skin and his lips tracing your neck, you let yourself believe there might be something more. The night was silent but electric, your heart pounding as if in sync with his. For the first time in a long time, you felt alive, connected. But you knew better than to let yourself hope, so you brushed off the thought and pushed down the ache in your chest, trying to just be in the moment.

Meeting His Mom

Two weeks in, you found yourself surprised when Jake casually invited you to his mom’s place for a family gathering. You tried not to read into it, but there was a nervous excitement fluttering in your chest. He’s just bringing you as a friend, you reminded yourself. Don’t get carried away.

"Hey, Mom, this is Y/N," Jake introduced you as you stood by his side.

His mother smiled warmly at you, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Y/N. Jake has told me so much about you."

You returned her smile, feeling a sense of ease wash over you. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mrs. Kiszka. Thank you for having me."

"Oh, please, call me Karen," she insisted, patting your hand affectionately. "Jake talks about you all the time. I'm glad he's found someone special."

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at her words, exchanging a shy glance with Jake. "Well, I think he's pretty special too."

Jake chuckled at your response, wrapping an arm around your waist as he leaned in to kiss your temple. "She's just saying that because she hasn't seen me throw socks all over the living room yet."

Karen laughed at his teasing tone, shaking her head fondly. "Oh, don't mind him. He knows I have a strict 'no socks on the couch' policy."

The easy banter between Jake and his mom made you feel like you were witnessing a special bond between them. It was heartwarming to see the playful dynamic they shared.

As the evening went on, you found yourself drawn into conversations with various family members, feeling included and welcomed into their circle. His sister and brothers shared funny childhood stories about Jake that had you both laughing until tears streamed down your cheeks.

At one point, Karen pulled you aside as you helped with the dishes in the kitchen. "I can see why Jake adores you," she said softly, her gaze kind and knowing. "You bring out a light in him that I haven't seen in a long time."

You were touched by her words, feeling a lump form in your throat. "Thank you, Karen. He means a lot to me too.”

She patted your hand gently before returning to the sink. "Just take care of each other, okay? Family is everything."

Meanwhile Jake and his brother, Josh, sat on the porch together giving Josh an opportunity to have a serious conversation with Jake about his feelings for you.

"You know, I've seen how you are with Y/N. It's different from the way you've been with others."

Jake raised an eyebrow, curious about where this was heading. "How so?"

Josh observed Jake with a pensive expression. "You seem more invested in her. Like you genuinely care about how she feels and her well-being."

Jake scoffed. "Come on, Josh. Y/N and I are just having fun. We're not looking for anything serious."

"You can't fool me, Jake. I've seen the way you look at her. It's obvious to everyone."

"What do you mean? I'm just enjoying her company."

"C’mon, Jake. I've known you your whole life. I know when you're trying to convince yourself of something that's not true. You have feelings for her, whether you want to admit it or not. For god’s sake, you brought her to a family gathering. How do you not see it?"

Jake lets out a heavy sigh, "Maybe you're right, but I can't afford to get attached. It's better this way, trust me."

"Denying your emotions won't make them disappear. You can try to convince yourself it's just a casual thing, but deep down, you know it's more than that." Josh clapped Jake on the shoulder, a concerned look in his eyes. "Just be careful, man. You never know what might happen."

Jake sighed again. He did care for you more than he was willing to admit, but he wasn't ready for all those emotions he felt bubbling up inside him. He had always been cautious with his heart, never wanting to get too attached and potentially get hurt again. But you were different – you had a way of making him feel things he thought he had long forgotten or suppressed. Jake listened to his brother intently, his brows furrowed in thought. "I hear what you're saying, Josh. But it's not that simple," he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of defensiveness.

As the evening drew to a close, Jake found himself standing in the driveway with you, watching as his mom and sister said their goodbyes. He couldn't help but feel a deep sense of contentment – something he hadn't felt in a long time.

"So, what did you think?" he asked you, breaking the silence in the car.

You smiled over at him, eyes warm and inviting. "I had a great time tonight, Jake. Your family is amazing and I can see why they mean so much to you."

Jake squeezed your hand reassuringly, "I'm glad you came tonight. My family clearly adores you."

For a brief moment, you let yourself imagine what it might be like if this were something real—if Jake saw you as more than just someone he bangs on the couch.

You forced a smile, nodding along as if his words didn’t sting. You knew you were setting yourself up for heartbreak, but something kept pulling you back to him, even when you knew it was hopeless.

Trying to Be “Chill”

A few days later, you found yourself on the phone with his sister, chatting about movies and favourite bands. You laughed over some embarrassing story about Jake from high school, and his sister joked about how you’d make a great addition to the family someday. You tried to laugh it off, but your heart skipped a beat at the thought.

After hanging up, you sat in silence, your mind racing. You’d tried so hard to be the “chill girl” Jake wanted, the one who didn’t ask for more or push for a label. But here you were, letting yourself daydream about being part of his life, about being someone who mattered to him. You wanted so badly to call him, to hear him say he felt the same way. But deep down, you knew he’d only brush it off, laugh, and remind you, “It’s just casual, remember?”

The following weekend, Jake invited you over to watch a movie and hang out. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to spend more time together. But ultimately, you decided to go. After all, what was the harm in spending a Saturday night with a guy you found attractive and enjoyable to be around?

As the night progressed, you found yourself torn between enjoying his company and grappling with the lingering feelings of uncertainty. He laughed at your jokes, held your hand without prompting, and snuggled close to you on the couch. It was hard not to get lost in the moment and allow yourself to believe that there could be something more.

Despite his assurances that everything was casual, his actions spoke otherwise. Each touch, each glance, each shared moment seemed to be saying something different—that he cared about you in a way that went beyond just physical attraction.

But as the movie ended and the night drew to a close, the same old pattern played out. He walked you to your car, a stars-in-his-eyes look on his face as he pulled you close for a kiss. You felt your heart race, your breath catch in your throat, and for just a moment, you allowed yourself to hope that this time things would be different.

And then he pulled away, his eyes meeting yours, searching for something you didn't quite understand.

You stood there, your hand still clutching the door handle of your car, feeling more confused and hurt than you cared to admit. You wanted to believe him, to tell yourself that it was just a casual hookup and nothing more. But every time his arms wrapped around you, every time his lips found yours, it was harder and harder to ignore the from what was happening between the two of you.

"So, we're still just keeping things casual, right?" you found yourself asking, the words coming out a little more firmly than you intended.

He looked at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that he couldn't quite find. "I don't know what to tell you," he said honestly.

You felt your heart sink as you looked into his eyes, seeing the truth hidden there. You didn't know if you could continue on this ride of emotional turmoil, waiting for him to make up his mind. But somehow, you found the strength to smile and say, "Okay."

As you drove home that night, tears streaming down your cheeks, you wondered if this was really what you wanted. But you couldn't help but feel a sense of longing for the connection you shared with Jake, even if he wasn't ready to admit his feelings. Despite the pain, you knew that walking away would be even harder. You told yourself that maybe things would change, maybe he'd realize how much he cared for you. And so, you held on, hoping for a future that might never come.

The Dinner Incident

A few nights later, Jake invited you to dinner with his parents. You were nervous, but hopeful. The evening started out lovely—his parents were warm and welcoming, making you feel like you belonged. You laughed at his dad’s stories, blushing as Jake’s mom complimented you.

But later, when you and Jake found yourselves alone for a moment, Jake slipped his hand under the hem of your skirt, brushing your inner thigh as he pulled you into a tiny bathroom. He whispered sexy promises into your ear, his breath hot against your neck making goosebumps rise on your skin.

Jake's fingers traced the lace edge of your panties before slipping beneath them and teasing your entrance with gentle circular caresses. Your breath hitched as he slowly pressed one long finger inside of you, moving in rhythm with your pulsating desire.

Your nails dug into his forearm as he added another finger, curling them perfectly to find the sensitive spot within that sent shivers down your spine. He held you close to him with his free arm around your back, supporting your weight as your legs began to feel weak from the pleasure.

He released your earlobe from between his teeth and gazed into your eyes, lust pouring from his gaze. "I want more," he whispered huskily.

You nodded breathlessly, eager for more intimate contact. As he unbuttoned his pants with practiced ease, revealing his hardened length, you took in a sharp breath at the sight.

In one smooth movement, Jake lifted you onto the bathroom counter, bunching up your skirt around your waist. Your panties were pushed to the side as he held himself and teasingly slapped his hard length against your wetness. "Is this what you want, darling?" he asked, slowly sliding himself through your slick folds. As he finally aligned himself with your aching entrance, he met your gaze for a moment before easing himself inside of you with a satisfying throb.

"God, nothing compares to how amazing you feel," Jake groaned.

Your body arched in response to his thrusts, meeting his every movement with equal fervor. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the small space, echoing off the walls around you and intensifying the already electric atmosphere.

"Yes. Fu—fuck, Jake. Don't stop." You begged in a whisper.

"Do you like it rough?" he murmured against your neck, nipping at your earlobe before pulling back and grabbing your hair roughly. A shiver ran through you at his touch as he exposed your neck to his hungry lips, leaving a mark with his teeth before continuing his relentless assault.

You moaned in response, unable to form words as the pleasure consumed you.

A loud groan escaped from his throat as he reached his peak, thrusting into you one final time. He clutched at you tightly, pulling you close as his release shook through him. The sensation of being claimed by him was unlike anything else you'd ever experienced—raw and intense but also strangely comforting.

As your breathing slowly returned to normal, you looked into his eyes and saw something different—a vulnerability that made you hesitate. But then he pulled away with a smirk and said casually, "Fuck, I needed that...Let's get back to the table before they notice we're missing."

The moment you walked out, he straightened his shirt, shrugged it off, and acted as if nothing had happened. The warmth you’d felt that evening shattered, leaving you feeling used, humiliated. You spent the rest of the night trying to enjoy yourself, but your thoughts were constantly drawn back to the bathroom and the moments shared between you and Jake. It was a bittersweet night—full of laughter and joy, but also tinged with regret and confusion.

That night, something in you snapped. You wanted to confront him, to demand answers. But you were afraid—afraid that he’d tell you, once and for all, that it meant nothing. That you meant nothing.

The Breaking Point

Days passed, and your bitterness festered. You replayed every careless word he’d ever said, every reminder that you were “just” someone he spent time with, someone he didn’t care enough about to commit to. You realized how much you’d been fooling yourself, how much you’d been holding onto a fantasy of what you two could be if he were someone else.

You sat alone, staring at the empty space in your closet where he used to keep a few things at your place. You hated that you’d let it go on this long, hated yourself for clinging to something that was never real. You thought back to his friends, the way they looked at you like you were just another girl on Jake’s arm, temporary and disposable.

With tears in your eyes, you finally reached for your phone, typing a simple message: We’re done. No anger, no plea for an explanation. Just a simple, final end. You felt a weight lift, a newfound clarity you hadn’t felt in months.

The moment you hit send, your heart pounded in your chest. This was it—the end of a chapter that had consumed months of your life. You put down your phone and took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.

But the silence was deafening. No angry texts, no pleas for forgiveness. Just the cold emptiness of finality. It felt oddly anticlimactic, like a ghost that had finally been exorcised from your life.

You spent the rest of the night trying to fill the void with work and distractions, but it seemed to grow with each passing minute. The reality of what you'd just done hit you hard, and you found yourself gazing longingly at the empty closet space.

The next day, you avoided your phone, determined not to give in to the temptation of salvaging something that was so clearly broken beyond repair.

—————————

As soon as the notification for your text appears on Jake's phone, his heart starts to race and he panics. His fingers scramble over the screen as he quickly taps on Josh's name in his contacts and hits call. He can feel a knot forming in his stomach, wondering what urgent matter could have prompted you to reach out to him at this moment. Anxiety bubbles up within him as he waits for Josh to pick up on the other end of the line.

"Hey, man, I know it's late but this is really important," Jake stammered as soon as Josh picked up. "It's about Y/N. She just...she sent me a message saying we're done. No explanation, no nothing."

Josh listened intently, his own heart pounding in his chest as he tried to make sense of the situation. "What do you mean, 'we're done?' Did you guys have a fight or something? Did you do something?"

Jake shook his head, still pacing back and forth in his room. "No, man. I have no idea what happened. We haven't talked since the night we went to dinner with mom and dad. And now this...I don't know what to do."

"Well," Josh began cautiously, "first things first: Don't panic. Take a deep breath and think clearly." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Now, do you like her? Really like her? Want something more with her?"

Jake stopped pacing and frowned, thinking hard about the question. "Yes, I do. I just don't know if it's enough. I mean, she deserves better than someone who can't quite commit."

Josh sighed, understanding the weight of the situation. "Okay, so here's what you need to do. Call her. Apologize for your behavior, for not being open and honest with your feelings. Make it clear that you want to be with her and that you are willing to work things out."

"Maybe this is for the best," Jake rationalized to Josh. "Perhaps it was meant to happen this way, in the grand scheme of the universe and all that."

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" Josh retorted with a hint of sarcasm.

"Josh..." Jake warned.

"Okay, okay. But remember, you were the one who called me in a panic. I just don't want you to regret anything."

Jake let go of Josh and took a few deep breaths before dialing your number... but then stopped. He couldn't bring himself to make the call. Maybe he wouldn't regret this decision, right? He could move on... right?

Moving On

The next morning, you woke up feeling lighter, as if the burden of unspoken words and hidden hopes had finally been lifted. You took a deep breath, promising yourself that you wouldn’t settle for anyone who saw you as less than you deserved. You were done being someone’s secret, someone’s “casual” option. You wanted more, and you were willing to wait until you found it.

With one last look in the mirror, you whispered to yourself, “No more half-measures.” And as you stepped out into the world, you knew you were finally free.

As you near your favourite coffee spot, someone kindly holds the door open for you, and you hear the familiar jingle of the bell as you enter.

"Thank you!" You say, turning your head to meet the friendly stranger's gaze. Upon making eye contact, you realize he is an incredibly attractive gentleman with a warm smile. He is dressed impeccably in business attire and smells heavenly... or perhaps it's just a hint of desire? Either way, his manners are impeccable. You can't help but blush and return his smile.

"The pleasure is certainly all mine," he responds graciously.

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@edgingthedarkness @writingcold @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @katuschka @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep @electric-gold

[fleet-of-fiction]

Legend

JOSH WHAT

[fleet-of-fiction]

Pierrot Sleeps

Josh Kiszka x f!OC/reader

/friends to lovers/

8.036 words

I dedicate this one to everyone who needs some healing...

Pierrot sleeps, silently He’s dreaming next to me Painted black tear, on his soft face And the sweetest lips; they never speak to me My Pierrot sleeps (Barbora Mochowa – Pierrot)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): heartbreak, unrequitted love, pining for a friend, breakup, friends to lovers, slow burn, sweet Josh, kissing, fluff, smut: petting, oral sex, vag. sex, a few allusions to a suicise of a minor character (in the past), briefly mentioned attempted suicide (retrospective), depressive thoughts, expressive language, bad weather

You can also view my Masterlist, join the Taglist or listen to Pierrot Sleeps Playlist 🎶

At least it stopped raining… eventually.

Josh had expected there would be morning fog, so the fact that the world around them was shrouded in a thick blanket of clouds did not surprise him. Not only was it just as the forecast predicted, but he had been even looking forward to it. Foggy woods looked dreamy at this time of year. They’d have the best time, surely, and he could take a lot of pictures... 

He however did not expect to be woken up by heavy rain drumming on the roof above them, and – on top of that – a whole half an hour before the alarm clock was supposed to rouse them. Too early to be happy about being awake, and too little time left to go back to sleep. Had it been the fall morning sun shining right into his face, he wouldn’t say a word. But rainfall? That didn’t go according to the plan. 

He had been warned though, and despite his own nature, he chose to believe the technology instead. 

The initial rhythmic patter only grew in intensity and it soon sounded as if the cabin was built right under a waterfall. That, together with the obtrusive light coming from the screen of his phone, finally woke her too. She didn’t make herself known at first. She listened silently for several seconds to the downpour growing stronger and waiting for his reaction with malicious glee. She was rewarded pretty soon, and his loud, annoyed grunt made her chuckle. 

“Told you…,” she mumbled from under the cozy blanket sleepily, suddenly hopeful that they’d just stay inside, sipping sahlep in front of the fireplace. She would eat almond truffles and he could have his dried apple chips, or whatever. Maybe they could even try to play a game of chess. Josh had been telling her that he didn’t have the right brain for that, but she was adamant; and determined to teach him. His annoyed face, illuminated by the light blue light, however told that it probably wasn’t the best day for that. Again. 

They had been both really looking forward to the trip, so she wasn’t even sure why she suddenly felt almost glad that their hiking plans might be ruined. The prospect of getting wet and numb with cold didn’t appeal to her at all, but it usually didn’t stop her. And when it did (When the heavens literally opened just like that morning), she’d be pretty pissed off for being forced to stay inside. Not this time though. Not when she was enveloped with the warmth and the scent of him. And that was something she had been looking forward to even more.

They shared the bed, just like many times before, just like friends often do. The cabin had two separate bedrooms, but it didn’t even occur to them to part their ways for the night. Not when the whole point of this trip was not to be alone. That would be silly. 

And just like many mornings before, she closed her eyes again in a pretense of having fallen back to sleep just to revel in the morning smell of his body close to her for a little bit longer. But he wouldn’t be fooled by her closed eyes; being already quite familiar with her breathing patterns. 

“Yeah, you did, weather girl, but let’s not get discouraged, yeah? The…the app says it’ll be over in an hour. So, we’re still on schedule. AND it also says there might be some sunlight by midday, and so does the radar… Hey, hey, wake up! Tea?” 

“Coffee!” she huffed in exasperation. After all that time, he still kept trying. Coffee’s bad for you, blah blah blah… And maybe he was right. Just look at him! Fit and bubbly, filled with sunshine and energy right from the moment his eyes opened to greet the new day. Even when he was hurting, he always mustered enough energy to fill every room with light and love. As long as there were other people willing to share the moment with him, he was ok. Meanwhile, she felt like Gollum, torn between love and hate for the things that kept her (barely) functioning. Not just coffee… him, too. Her precious. She kept pursuing him, seeking his presence, while hoping that one day, she would be free, while not really wanting to. It was always the worst on mornings like this one, when she almost had him in her grasp, and then he always slipped out, because he was never hers. 

She watched him fumbling for his clothes in semi darkness, pondering. Sleeping just in his briefs right next to her never seemed to faze him, and the thought always made her heart sink. Maybe he didn’t like the way she looked, so he never considered those moments to be overly intimate. That’s fine. But didn’t it ever occur to him how much she loved his body? Probably not. They were such good friends, after all. Right? Truth be told, she really tried her best to hide the truth from him. There were so many things to say, but she never did. 

‘Come back to bed.’ What a simple request; one that people often say in situations like this one. ‘Come back to bed and just be with me. The world can wait…’ Yet she couldn't. She had no privilege to ask that. 

Such good friends. That’s what everyone kept saying: ‘You two are such good friends.’ Everyone except Jake; that nosy, observant asshole. He mentioned his suspicion just once, and then abandoned the topic forever after she made it VERY clear that she didn’t want to discuss it and threatened to cut his balls off if he ever mentioned that to Josh.

They had been so close from the very start – she and Josh – despite the fact that they were from two seemingly different worlds. Or maybe because of that, because he seemed to deliberately seek the company of the people who didn’t care what he was. He didn’t have to pretend anything in front of her; she just let him be himself, even when it was not always nice or flattering. She loved all of him. 

Yeah, she did. She loved him. And she knew she would from the moment she first saw him, when he ran into the coffee shop she worked in to hide from the rain... 

The bell chimed, and she looked up, together with several other people, all of them surprised by the sudden commotion that disrupted the serenity of that lazy afternoon. He literally fell through the door, giggling awkwardly before he looked around, beaming and taking everything in, like a child in a toy store.  

Are you familiar with those cheeky and extremely cliche movie scenes when the hero sees the object of their desire for the very first time and everything suddenly turns to slow motion? So melodramatic and stupid, very stupid indeed; so stupid they use it mostly in parodies these days. And yet, it’s also exactly what happened to her when her eyes first fell on the dampened halo of his messy curls. What a tiny, beautiful, ethereal man. He looked like an angel on vacation, dressed in pale jeans and a simple white long-sleeved shirt. Quite ordinary. It was the long string of beads around his neck, almost like a rosary, that made him look out of this world. But nothing could prepare her for the feeling that swept through her and he finally looked at her. 

When she was very little, maybe two or three, she had a very strange dream once. The sun fell from the sky, landed on their street right next to their house and she watched, quite mesmerized, how it rolled behind their windows like a huge fiery balloon. She was too small to know that the sun was literally just a ball of fire, and yet that’s exactly how it appeared to her in the dream, except “her” sun didn’t have more than two meters in diameter and it didn’t scorch anything. That strange and bizarre dream left such an imprint on her young and expanding mind that it eventually became one of her core memories. Then, as years went by and adulthood hit her with brutal force, she almost forgot about it. 

Until he appeared. 

He introduced himself as Josh without even being asked, ordered matcha tea and then he took a barstool by the counter right opposite to her, because she was the only person in the whole room willing to talk to him; everyone else was staring at their phones or laptops and just minding their own business. 

And it was SO easy talking to him, despite the fact that she was completely and utterly smitten with him, which usually tied her tongue in similar situations. Not with Josh. They talked for only half an hour about nothing important, but it was enough for him to unknowingly etch himself in her brain and gut. 

Then he finally picked Josh up, just when the rain stopped, and they left together, seemingly forever. 

Her mind was still full with the images of him when she went to bed that day, and he even materialized again as a drunken memory in her dreams. Her conviction that she wasn’t destined to have people like him in her life made the apparition both sweet and distant, but destiny never prevented anyone from having dreams about it, right? His existence seemed almost unreal the morning after. He became a vision – and an illusion – of a better world where people were actually nice to one another. Like a character from a favorite comfort book: someone who never really existed, but it was still nice to imagine.

Then, five days later, Josh came back. 

He stayed for three long hours, as if he had no responsibilities in this world except for filling it with his contagious laughter. He ordered a whole pot of oolong and charmingly voiced his desire to pester her for the rest of the afternoon. When she asked why, his answer was simply ‘why not.’ That’s what the places like the one she worked in were for, and she shouldn’t get excluded, he said.

So they talked again, pausing only when other people came to take their order. They talked about poetry and cartoons and favorite sweets (she loved almond truffles!). She told him about her early childhood and a grandmother who could bake heavenly pastries, and he shared funny stories about his brothers and praised the wit and beauty of his sister. 

There were times when such stories would make her feel miserable, but his own tales filled her with hopefulness. He exuded so much love and light no doubt because those people he talked about had always been there for him. If only she hadn’t failed to be there for her sister when she needed her the most. People kept telling her that it wasn’t her fault, but their words fell flat. Convinced that she should have known, she almost followed the same footsteps. They just found her in time…

Back then she told him that she was an only child. 

The next time, Josh came back with a small bag full of almond truffles, which he traded for her number. And so they slowly became regular friends, with their lives gradually intertwining even outside of that coffee shop. 

Days went by, then weeks. Slowly, she learned all about his passions and dreams, and nothing about his job. Then one day, just before Christmas, a group of people asked for a picture and he had to come clear afterwards. Nothing shocking in Nashville, It just made her admire him even more, and he couldn’t get mad when she finally told him her truth. Months passed by and finally there were no more secrets, even though her initial childish idea that he must have fallen from the sky was crushed. 

At least she wasn’t surprised when he disappeared for months. 

He often said ‘I love you’ and sometimes she imagined how it would feel if one day he’d mean it in a way that would make her skin tingle and cheeks burn. But that was not to be. The meaning was reserved for someone else, because he belonged to someone else. Plain and simple. They were so in love. Even through the veil of her jealousy, she could see the pure miracle of it. Everything Josh did seemed miraculous. It kept breaking her heart in the most peculiar and strangely addictive way. 

He was always there for her as a dear friend, but never as someone who could keep her warm at night. He was unavailable. 

Until he wasn’t. And yet…

He called her around two am that night, crying so hard he couldn’t even talk coherently. She wasted no time; having thrown just a long cardigan over her pajamas, she ran out the door, jumped in the car and headed straight to their… to his house. 

They snuggled together in his bed, and she kept holding him tight until he finally relaxed and fell asleep. And when she woke up a few hours later, feeling his limbs wrapped around her body and his hot breath on the exposed skin of her shoulder, she looked up at the ceiling and her heart broke in a thousand little pieces once again. So this was how it felt… and she was destined to experience it only when they both felt like that, only not for each other… His touches during waking hours kept whispering ‘I’m glad’, but never ‘I yearn’. 

He mewled suddenly, no doubt tormented by some disturbing dream, and grip around her only tightened. She turned to her side and hugged him back, watching his peaceful, doll-like face and listening to his light snores that made his parted lips quiver ever so slightly.  

“Why didn’t you call one of your brothers?” she asked once he finally opened his eyes and, seeing her face right in front of his, greeted her with his sweet smile, even though it was short lived. 

“You don’t judge me…,” he mumbled after a while.

“Your brothers don’t judge you either, silly! I know that, and so do you.”

“Yeah, but…I guess I needed a hug, and not just having my shoulder squeezed. Besides, they…they have their own people and, uh… other creatures to take care of...”

Ouch…

The truth is, he had tried to set her up with other people in the past, oblivious to the fact that the only one she wanted was him. So she kept lying to him, making up reasons why the dates and hook-ups never did work out. Even when she ended up in bed with them – and some of them were really good – it never made her want to see them more than just a couple times. 

She had been like that even before she met him, to be honest. Men and women had come and gone, and her heart had remained closed, save for a few youthful infatuations. Her resolve not to commit to anyone only strengthened after what happened to Shania. Then one day, Josh appeared with a golden key, forced it in the lock and occupied the tiny space ever since, unaware of what he really did. 

And the reason why she always tried to hide it the best way she (physically) could was because she was too grateful for what she already had in him. Such good friends… The risk of ruining it all was too great and too foolish. Because, by being there for her as a friend, he had already helped her more than she could possibly imagine. He had danced into the darkness of her dreary life and brought sunshine into it. She had a wonderful friend in him. The fact that she loved him romantically was just a minor snag. Maybe, just maybe, if she had known him sooner, she wouldn’t have to keep hiding the scarry reminder of forecast days on her wrists. But for everything there is a season…

… and fall is perfect for hiking. 

So was the summer after he left, and so they – Josh and her – took advantage of every opportunity to spend it together in nature… or at least in his garden. Because, in spite of all the bad things happening, one could always rely on nature to be beautiful and welcoming, at least for now. 

Josh’s busy schedule and constant traveling blessed him with the mercy of having his mind occupied, so that he wouldn’t have to think about the breakup so much, but everytime he got home – even when it was just for a few days – he kept seeking her company as well as her hugs, because his house suddenly seemed too big and silent and scary, and his brothers naturally wanted to spend the valuable time with their own significant others. 

After that first, painful night, falling asleep in each other’s embrace became at first a frequent occurrence, and later almost a habit. Their movie nights, Sunday outdoor trips or late night garden picnics often ended that way. Lying on a blanket under a cloudless sky and pretending they could actually see any stars, they cuddled more often than not as the temperature dropped. He cried a few more times in early June, but after a while it just became a pleasant habit. Josh was never the person to shy away from physical contact, so it felt completely natural to him. It was always innocent, too, with their hands never wandering to any inappropriate places. A few times she could feel his lips brush against her locks – feather-like kisses that never touched the skin – but that was it. It always left her hungry for more, and the hunger kept growing… 

The smell of coffee and vanilla coming from the kitchen put an end to her reminiscing, as it made her stomach rumble and pulled her mind back into the physical reality of the cabin. She finally managed to drag her lazy body out of bed and, after a short stop in the bathroom, followed the smell and the sound and the light, like a curious cat. 

Josh was not a fruit loop guy and she was not allowed to eat that shit either, at least not under his watch. In consequence, their days spent together also meant that she was eating properly for a while. 

She found him standing by the stove, making oatmeal with raisins and swaying to some unknown tune he was humming. She caught just a few words, something about bed and needing to touch again, and immediately wanted to go back, because damn! He was reading her mind. 

Her footsteps made him stop and turn around, greeting her with his radiant smile. Snap. Another beautiful picture for the photo album of her mind. Having been blessed with an excellent memory, she often used it as an internal polaroid, taking snapshots of the beauty of the world to browse through when old. She, however, cheated with her stills of Josh, replaying them in her mind every time she was alone in her own bed. 

“Finally! I thought I’d have to drag… you’re doing it again!”

“Doing what?” She couldn’t help but to reciprocate the toothy smile. 

“You know what!” He threatened to pat her head playfully with the stirring spoon, making her duck down so as not to have chunks of hot oatmeal in her hair. “Save some space in that fancy brain of yours for the wonders of nature. Today’s gonna be EPIC!” He swung the spoon epicly towards the milky blue nothingness outside the window. 

“It’s still raining, Josh.”

“Mmmm, not for long, I’m tellin’ya. Now grab that mug before that bitter shit gets cold.” He nearly overturned the cup of coffee with the large spoon and she snatched it out of his reach just in time to save the valuable fragrant liquid. He turned back to the stove, chuckling. “Gonna serve this heavenly manna in a sec, so take a seat, mademoiselle,” he added playfully in a low voice. “Cinnamon?” 

“Yeah, why not. Just a pinch.”

“As you wisssssssh… Here comes the sun, little daaaarling, here comes the su-un, and Iiiiii saaay…”

Moments like these often made her mind and body dissociate. The body was drawn to him, yearning to hug him from behind and bite at his exposed earlobe, while the mind knew her place was at the table, where she was told to patiently wait for the breakfast to be served, while admiring his beauty from a respectable distance. The mind always won. Their new-found closeness, however exciting and really borderline intimate sometimes, had its boundaries. 

He was right. The rain stopped eventually, so they packed their bags with all the necessities they might need for the whole day outside, and together they entered the misty world of barren bony branches, orange leaves and hidden horizons. It was already almost 8 am when they left the warm confines of their rented cabin, but the landscape remained shrouded in early November murkiness. They walked for at least an hour without speaking, the ubiquitous mist still unwilling to dissipate. 

“It’s almost like a completely different planet, isn’t in,” she finally broke the silence. 

“M-hm,” was the only response she got. She honestly often preferred it that way, being able to get lost in her own thoughts and daydreams, but that very rarely happened when Josh kept her company. His need to share everything that was on his mind – which was usually a LOT – could often be quite overwhelming. It also never failed to entertain everyone around him, because the vastness of his mind could compete with the plains on Mars, and it was just as untamed.

The fact that he was suddenly so unusually taciturn made her a bit uneasy. Something was wrong. She already noticed it the night before, and thought it was only understandable, given the recent events. She was devastated as well, thinking about Shania again, and how it would break her heart if she hadn’t chosen to make it stop beating willingly. 

But then they talked quite openly about that and he returned back to his normal, radiant self as soon as they climbed in their shared bed. Now she had that nagging feeling once again… as if he was hiding something from her. Something was different. 

“Are you still sad?” she asked tentatively. 

“About what?” His tone was wary, making her uncertain whether she should even continue or just let it be. Alas, her nosy nature prevailed.

“The breakup.”

It took him a few seconds to respond, clearing his throat and kicking a few pebbles first. She’d swear she could sense a brand new kind of tension in the air, but she couldn’t really  put her finger on it. It was almost just a split second.

“No, not anymore. Sometimes at night, when the house is quiet, I feel a sense of melancholy, you know? I guess I’m just not used to being alone. But I welcome the feeling, really. I think I wrote my best lyrics feeling just like that. And…” And he kept on talking. On and on and on.  She asked a simple question and he could have provided a simple answer, but after three minutes of babbling, just when his mind somehow wandered to Sam’s ravioli, she suddenly stopped in her tracks and started laughing. The bitch was back, as he himself would say, although that was not really it. He sensed her worry and just wanted to do anything he could to disperse it. 

“What?” He really tried to frown at her accusingly, but failed miserably, the corners of his mouth twitching. 

“It’s just… you could have just said ‘no’, but I admire the lengths you go to prove that you’re not.”

“Keep mocking my eloquence, love, and you’ll regret it, I tell ya!” Already a few steps ahead of her, he started walking backwards, pointing his finger at her menacingly. 

“Josh, be care…”

“FUUU…ouch!”

“...ful… Moron!”

 Of course he stumbled over an exposed tree root and fell right on his butt. Thankfully, he managed to land in the middle of a small heap of wet foliage instead of stones or worse – down the steep slope adjacent to the path they were on. She offered him her hand with an exasperated sigh and helped him get back on his feet, feigning anger – anything to hide how much that one word reverberated inside her ribcage. Love…   

“C’mon! Don’t be mad. My ass is damp and freezing now, so it’s fun, yeah?” Once back on his feet, he grabbed her shoulder for support in order to regain balance and smiled reassuringly to wipe that frown off her face. To no avail. No, it wasn’t exactly fun, and seeing his beautiful eyes so close only made it worse. She stared back into those dark beads before her gaze slid down to his lips that he licked just a moment ago, and the chilly mist filling her lungs suddenly felt like water, together with a totally unwelcome wave of arousal that swept through her body. She was genuinely mad all of the sudden, but only at herself. 

“You’re an idiot, Josh.” She let go and stormed up the path, forcing him to speed up to catch up with her. 

“Y/N, hang on… why are you so angry?”

“You were literally just a few feet from breaking your leg… or something else!” she spat in response and with her eyes set on the path ahead.

“No, I wasn’t. And nothing happened!” Josh raised his voice just a notch, his own anger growing. They were side to side again and he finally forced her to turn back to him. She tried to fight it, she really did, but in spite of her efforts to behave reasonably, she could feel her eyes prickle again, threatening to betray her. 

“It’s been almost five years since she jumped… in November…just…stop scaring me like that, ok?” Her voice quivered under the burden of her sudden deliberate machinations. What she said was true, but it wasn’t the real reason why she felt so upset at that very moment and she felt bad instantly for using it as an excuse. That was completely unfair to both of them. 

Josh’s features immediately softened and he pulled her in for a tight hug. “I know… sorry,” he whispered, and she melted into his touch, no longer caring how she “deserved” it. They remained like that for almost a minute before he commanded that it was time to move if they didn’t want to return back after dark. 

The rest of the morning was spent more or less in silence once again, interspersed with occasional casual chit chat. As the path grew steeper and more stony, pale patches of light cerulean blue began to show up through thinning low clouds, making them both hopeful. The air temperature grew gradually milder, too. “The inversion season’s finally here! Yay!” he exclaimed with childish enthusiasm – one of many things that kept people drawn to him like moths to a flame. It seemed just impossible not to love him. 

They reached the ridge – their final destination – just around midday, and just in time to step out of the clouds that still hung low in the surrounding valleys. It felt like reaching the sky, with the ridge and a few surrounding rounded peaks looking like floating islands in the midst of a foamy ocean.

“Aaaah, this is beautiful!” She tilted her head back, letting the sun warm up her damp cheeks. 

“Told ya,” he smiled softly and she expected him to continue teasing her, but he seemed unnaturally quiet and serene once again. Pulling his camera from the bag, he took a few snapshots of the misty sea below them. They watched the clouds roll by slowly for a while before he spoke. “I used to dream about telling stories through pictures...” 

She knew all about his old passion, but she also thought he was exceptional at what fate chose for him eventually. “You do tell stories Josh. You help people paint their own internal landscapes.” 

“Do I…”

“Of course you do!”

“So I believed. Pictures, words, soundwaves, doesn’t really matter, that’s not my point. I mean,.. I wasn’t really telling the… the truth yesterday. I am scared…I mean, not for myself, not really, but…I don’t…I guess, sometimes things are just destined to remain broken no matter how hard you try, you know…I’m mostly heartbroken, really.”

She wasn’t really sure where this was going. Having been familiar with his insecurities for quite some time, she knew too well that he was sometimes too humble for his own good, but he hardly ever sounded that defeated. “Well, you know…how was that line…’Take your broken heart and make it into art.”

“But what’s the point?”

And just like that, with a snap of a finger, the temperature dropped, making her shiver. Speaking to the world through art was the core of his whole existence and she’d rather die than watch him doubt the importance of it. 

“Josh!”

“Y/N!”

His feeble attempt to mock her sudden urgent tone annoyed her, but definitely not enough to stop her from trying to prevent him from going down that gloomy path. “Listen, asshole! Stop with the bullshit, ok? You believed we’d have sun today. And look! I absolutely needed this, and would have missed it if it weren’t for you. And MANY people feel the same, because you inspire them, so cut that defeatist crap or else I’ll smack it out of you!”

He looked at her as if she had already really slapped him in the face, but his shocked and astonished expression slowly morphed into a soft and grateful smile. “Thank you, Y/N.” 

“WELL YOU’RE WELCOME!” she responded with an unnecessary theatricality, unwilling to abandon the angry pose just yet, just in case. “Now give me this, because I think you need to see what I see.” She snatched the camera out of his hand and took a step back so that the viewfinder showed exactly what she wanted to capture. He, however, started fumbling for a phone in his jacket, completely ruining the shot. 

“No, let’s take a selfie,” he said when he finally found and unlocked it.

“Selfie? You? Since when have you been taking selfies?”

“I DO from time to time.” He looked almost offended, pouting at her like a defiant child. Sighing exasperatedly, she finally agreed to it, stepping closer to him, letting him wrap his arm around her shoulder.

“But you need to look into the lens Jo…” On the display, she could see him looking sideways at her, his eyes slowly tracing the contours of her profile. His jaw clenched and she could no longer finish the sentence. Instead, she slowly turned her own face to meet his gaze. He lowered his arm, snaked it around her and she held her breath, barely conscious of his other hand slowly finding its way to cup the nape of her head just below her ponytail. Dreamily, she watched his lips growing closer to hers until they met and she could swear her heart stopped. 

He tasted like apples. 

It was soft and tender at first, his pouty lips just brushing over hers like the wings of a butterfly. She leaned into it and invited him in, and soon they could taste each other properly, with their tongues entangling and dancing around languidly. She turned deaf and blind, but acutely aware of every cell of his body she could reach and taste and caress and devour, and getting high on it, her head spinning more and more with each passing second. 

When they finally parted and her sight returned, they looked at each other and even though neither said a word, they could both see the same question in each other’s eyes. 

What now…

The entire walk back into the cabin was spent in silent anticipation. The way he held her hand was completely innocent, even with their fingers intertwined… 

The contents of their minds, not so much. They didn’t dare to speak about it just yet, in fear that they might jinx it. She kept replaying it in her head, over and over again. The feeling of his soft lips on hers still lingered and her insides twisted and turned with the primal need for him to do it again. It was just as strong as thirst, and much more overwhelming. 

As the hour grew late, even the valleys were now sun-soaked. The world joined them in their silence and only the rustling of gravel and foliage under their feet disturbed the unearthly peace. Having kept her eyes on the ground, she looked up when they left the shadows of trees behind them and set foot on the vast clearing that separated them from their cabin… the fireplace… the bed… The road to it was blinding, as the late afternoon sun turned the distant horizon into silver ribbons, making them squint. She squeezed his hand involuntarily as her heart freaked out again, and he responded by stroking her knuckles with the tip of his thumb. The lust was palpable, making them both alert like lonely puppies just before hearing the door knob turn. 

Having avoided the topic for a few long hours, the tension between them only grew when they reached the cabin, only to be replaced with a sense of panic and uncertainty when they stepped inside. 

“So…”

“Are you hungry?” She interrupted him, before he could say more. Please say yes, so that I can cook us dinner and... 

“Not really, no.”

“Me neither.” She was fidgety, biting her lip, scratching her arm nervously, looking up at him and then averting her gaze repeatedly. 

“Y/N… we don’t have to…”

“I want to!” she blurted out and then sank her teeth in her lower lip again. 

Ok… calm down baby, let me…follow me…” he offered her his hand and slowly led her into the bathroom. 

They stripped each other slowly and then they kissed again. He turned on the shower and she bashfully stepped under the streaming water next to him. He pulled her closer and kissed her some more, while tracing the outline of her shoulders with his fingertips. Only then he dared to venture lower. 

His fingers brushed over her left nipple before he cupped the whole breast gently in his palm and she could swear it felt like he was cradling her very own heart in it instead, making her hold her breath. His eyes were lowered the whole time, watching his own actions intently and attentively, almost apprehensively, waiting for her reactions and receiving none. She was frozen with illogical fear. He looked up suddenly, making her head spin. “Tell me what you like,” he whispered. 

“Everything.” His brows shot up in question, so she clarified: “I like everything about this, Josh.” 

She meant it as encouragement, but it wasn’t helpful at all. He cleared his throat nervously and stroked her arm gently, from her shoulder all the way down to her elbow. His eyes once again followed the motions of his hand. “I wanna know everything about you.” This time he wasn’t talking about her life or soul. He already knew almost everything about that, after all those hours and hours spent talking and daydreaming together. Her body, however, was an unknown instrument, and he was desperate to learn how to play it well. 

Feeling wanted, and with all the newfound courage she could muster, she cupped his cheeks and kissed him with long suppressed passion, pausing only briefly to ask him back. “Can I learn everything about you, too?” 

“Please! You must,” he whispered against her lips, while she wrapped her fingers around his full-blown erection and started stroking him tentatively, making him moan in her mouth. Encouraged, she tightened her grip and quickened her pace. He gasped, breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead against hers instead. “You learn quickly, baby,” he whimpered, leaning with his outstretched arm against the tiled wall behind her. She kissed his flexed bicep in response and slid down on her knees in front of him, but he only shook his head and pulled her back up. 

“You don’t want that?” she asked, confused. There was a hint of hurt in her voice, so he pulled her in an embrace and kissed her wet hair as the water kept pouring down on them. 

“Just the idea of your lips wrapped around my dick tells me it’d be very quick… and I don’t want that. Let’s take this slow, yeah? Let me…” 

She let him take the lead and his lips went on a journey. They traced the edge of her jaw when he shampooed her hair and she tilted her head in delight. This new intimacy could only be described as ecstatic. Everything turned into a blur. She was just barely aware of him wrapping her in a bath towel, and she couldn’t remember how they got in bed. It was his tongue licking a stripe up her inner thigh that made her acutely aware of her surroundings once again. She gasped in surprise when she felt his hot breath on her wet pussy. Looking at her daringly, he hovered just an inch above it, the tip of his tongue resting on his upper lip tellingly. “May I?”

She swallowed harshly to relieve her parched throat. “I want you fuck me, Josh. Please.”

“And I will… but let me make you fly first.” Without any further ado, he darted his tongue between her folds and she arched her back as if struck by electricity. After a few more teasing licks, he wrapped his lips around her clit and started sucking gently, with his velvet tongue drawing slow circles on the underside before it started fluttering rapidly over the whole bud. Soon he sent her into orbit, just as he promised. She was still shaking and gasping for air when he swiftly climbed up her body and positioned himself in between her legs. 

Once inside her, he could no longer keep it slow. He let out a deep guttural groan and, as if a bolt of electricity shot through him, started thrusting into her with newfound virility. She wrapped both her arms and legs around him and pulled him even closer to her, almost afraid that he would float away and dissolve in midair if she stopped holding him tight enough, just like he always had done in her dreams. Even her own mind never allowed her to feel like this, so how could this possibly be real? After all that time. It felt too good to be real. His hands cradling her head, his own loud moans so close to her ear, urgent and melodic and almost lewd, all in one. With his elbows on each side of her head, and his lips brushing against her earlobe, she felt enshrined under him. It was overwhelming, it made her head spin as if high on oxygen…which she probably was. Unable to control her wildly beating heart and her quickened breath, she was barely conscious of that pleasant feeling he was stirring deep inside her. It didn’t even matter. She arched her back again and shivered as his singing grew louder. She could come just from listening to him. 

The skin on his back under her wandering hands, warm and velvety at first, soon turned damp and sticky from exertion, as his movements grew even more frantic and wild. She tilted her head back and cried out when he hit her cervix particularly hard… and he stopped. 

“What…” she asked dreamily. 

“You’re so tender and soft, I don’t wanna hurt you.” His face was hovering mere inches above her, as he was searching for more cues. Still inside her to the hilt, the blissful feeling of her velvety walls caressing his cock still lingered and it took all his will to keep himself from moving momentarily. His hips jerked involuntarily and she responded by deliberately tightening around him, making him hiss. 

“You’re not hurting me,” she mumbled, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. “I don’t even know if I ever felt this good. I’ve been waiting for this for so long…” Her own words made her freeze. She opened her eyes again and looked at him, frightened. His own expression was somber and almost unreadable. Oh god, you stupid cow, why did you say that? 

“How long, Y/N?”

Please, don’t make me ruin this even more, Josh. Just go on, just let me feel this at least once… 

His eyes never looked more beautiful. He kept looking down at her, searching for the answer. She knew she should say something, but the sudden lump in her throat made her only gasp for air as she tried to fight off the tears. Stupid, unstable bitch!

It seemed that he took mercy on her. Instead of pushing the subject, he leaned down and pressed his lips on the pulsing point under the skin of her neck. She closed her eyes and sighed in delight, waiting for him to resume the previous pace and make her mind go blank once more, letting her dream about her sun before the real one would come. 

He remained still though. His dick twitched inside her, making it known that he too wanted more, but he wasn’t merciful enough. And he wouldn’t let it go. 

“How long, Y/N?” Josh whispered once again against her skin. Each syllable was like a kiss, soothing. He left a physical trace of his words along her jugular, smoothing the gravity of that question mark with the tip of his nose. There was a new kind of urgency in his voice. At last, as if really reading her mind, he finally moved inside her once again, rolling his hips slowly as if to say ‘I’m not going anywhere’, encouraging her. 

“Since the first matcha tea,” she sobbed and he tried to soothe her nerves with yet another slow and deep thrust. But it was no use, the dam that had been holding her pent up emotions broke. He pulled out and lied down beside her. She missed him instantly but had enough dignity not to beg. She expected him to get up and leave. Instead, he pulled her closer and patiently waited for her to calm down. Only then he spoke.

“Y/N, he left because he…he thought that I liked you a bit too much. And, uh, after I called you and you came to me that night, I realized he might have been right…”

Josh was crying, he was yelling, he even tried to beg eventually, as the warm spring breeze coming from the open window suddenly felt like a winter gale on his exposed skin. He kept repeating ��what does it mean, what do you mean…’, only to be told that it was up to him to figure it out. ‘But I love you!’ Josh cried some more, and it was met with silence for the first time.  ‘I can no longer say it back,’ he broke that silence after a while, and Josh’s hopeful eyes veiled with even more tears. ‘I wanted to be the only one. I’m not an idiot, so I beg you to stop treating me like one. Goodbye, Josh.’ 

And once again, Josh’s words were met with silence. The only difference was that she wanted to scream it back. “I’m so sorry,” she said instead after a long minute. “I didn’t want to be the reason for his leaving.”

“Y/N…” he inched closer and buried his face in her still damp hair. “You weren’t. I was. Didn’t you hear me?” 

She did, but her self destructive mind chose to ignore it. His cryptic might-have-beens couldn’t penetrate the armor that she had spent long years building. Thankfully, he knew her well enough to realize his mistake. Enough of all this beating around the bush. 

“I love you,” he whispered in her ear and this time it made her skin tingle and her toes curl. 

His caressing hand traveled from her shoulder down the middle of her chest, where he could feel the fast rhythm of her wildly beating heart. Her eyes were closer and she lay unmoving, except for her hand that wrapped around his fingers, stopping them momentarily. “I’m sorry babe, I just had to say it,” he continued. “And since you…”

“I love you more than life.” Her own words startled her, as if something fell down with a crash. Without waiting for him to make another move, she pulled his hand down to her wet pussy and his middle finger slid inside with ease. 

It quickly made him hard again. She spread her legs, inviting him back in. He shifted just a bit, with his head still resting next to hers on the pillow. She turned towards him, threw her leg around him and he entered her again just as their mouths reconnected again in a hungry, sloppy kiss. 

It was slow this time, but no less intense, with their senses heightened by the recent revelations. They were making love. She kept her eyes open, watching how his own rolled up and he moaned loudly with his tongue still swirling around hers, their parted lips barely touching. She could feel a second orgasm building soon and her breathing quickened, turning her own moans into short, high pitched gasps, making him hiss when her fingernails dug deep into his skin. 

Suddenly, he shifted and straightened, sliding his knees under her legs and grabbing her hips possessively. “That’s it baby, one more, go on, let go,” he urged and started thrusting into her with a new force that made her thighs tremble. She looked up and her jaw slackened at the sight. Her sweet and radiant Josh looked almost demonic in the twilight. He was watching her too, with his jaw clenched and his brows furrowed and glistening with sweat. 

“Harder,” she cried out and he obeyed, hissing and baring his teeth as he tried to hold on a little longer. Then suddenly, she could feel it snap and her whole body tensed, making him groan as she squeezed him inside her. A few more deep strokes before she could feel him falter. “Fill me up,” she whispered and her eyes widened. He placed his hand between her breasts, bent his head down and let out a long, high pitched whine, his body jerking erratically as he spilled inside her. Then he collapsed on top of her, panting. 

Josh

She looked like an injured doe, you know? So lonely and abandoned behind that counter. The room was full of people of all sorts, but – as it often happens – nobody paid attention to the things that desperately needed all the attention in the world. So I stayed a while – even though I didn’t really have to – watching her face brighten up, growing more and more beautiful with every passing second. I knew she had it in her.

Someone ordered an irish coffee and she had to grab a bottle of whisky from the upper shelf. That’s when I saw the scars on her wrists, and the shadows behind her deep blue eyes suddenly made perfect sense. 

There are millions of people on this planet who are hurting and I’ve always believed that nothing happens without a reason. When I was younger, I wished I could have saved everyone, but that’s impossible. There’s only so much burden one can bear. But I believe that every wounded soul has their person somewhere. A sibling, a parent, a friend, a lover… Someone willing to share the load. Sometimes they don’t find each other in time, otherwise the world wouldn’t be full of tragedies and tears. Sometimes you don’t choose it. It just happens. And sometimes, you fuck up in the process. Colossally, even. I’m painfully aware of the fact that I did, too. But everything happens for a reason. 

I just had to go back…

I can't imagine how it is To be forbidden from loving (ah, ah) 'Cause when you walked into my life I could feel my life begin And then I learned the truth How everything good in life seems to lead back to you And every single time I run into your arms I feel like I exist for love Only for love (Aurora – Exist For Love)

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @josh-iamyour-mama @lyndz2names @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @cheersdannyx2 @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickitty @clownstarr @gretasfallingsky @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @psychedelectable

[fleet-of-fiction]

this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me

[fleet-of-fiction]

ART ladies and gentlethems

You know it had to be done. It was basically a compulsory task...

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @jazzyfigz @josh-iamyour-mama @sanguinebats @cheersdannyx2 @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickittty @clownstarr @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf

[fleet-of-fiction]

"You were mentioned on gvftea" so i immediately thought "oh...here we go again."

Pleasantly surprised by this so thankyou ♥️

I miss lightmylove_gvf. She was the GOAT at fic. She was driven away. Needlessly. I miss Paris jake. Varanasi Josh. The Master series was ***chefs kiss*** and Backstage? SIMULTANEOUS???!!!!! THE GLORY DAYS OF FIC

[fleet-of-fiction]

Twinfoolery

what was going on here i need to know

[fleet-of-fiction]

The classics never die

roommates // by daisyful

18+

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pairings: jake x reader

word count: 5k

tags: sex toys, roommates!au, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, pwp basically, pet names because i can’t help myself, dirty talking

notes: i never thought i’d write this many fics with a vibrator involved, but here we are lmao. This happened bc of this post . minimally edited.

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“You’re fucking kidding me”

Of course, today of all days, the batteries would die. You huff out a few more curses and remove the lifeless vibrator from between your legs, throwing it on the bed beside you.

For a moment you lay there and frown, wondering if this is a sign you should just go to bed. Today had tested you far too frequently, and you couldn’t deal with much more. The thought of trying to get off any other way after you’d been so close with the toy seemed not worth the hassle.

Then, your brain throws you a hail mary: there’s batteries in the kitchen drawer. Perfect.

You tug on a pair of cotton underwear and smooth out your oversized t-shirt. It settles at the tops of your thighs, and you figure that’s decent enough for a run to the kitchen at 2:00 in the morning.

Your body carries you to the kitchen through the darkness, only broken by the light of the TV your roommate must have left on.

It causes you to roll your eyes—an old western is playing. You never had the pallet for them, even in an ironic sense. But Jake—your roommate of about a year now—loved them, for some reasons he had droned on about before when you expressed your disinterest.

You go straight for the drawer by the fridge, full of scissors and charging cords and pennies and mail, fishing around for the AA batteries.

“Whatcha need?”

“Fuck!” Your chest pounds as you clutch dramatically at your shirt, whirling around to see the source of the voice.

Jake blinks at you, eyebrows raised in amusement. He lays on the couch, in his plaid pajama pants and t shirt, feet covered by a throw blanket.

“You up to something sneaky? Why so jumpy?” He grins.

“Fuck off,” you roll your eyes, “It’s dark, I didn’t see you,” you grumble.

“Jesus,” he laughs, “Bad day?”

You just nod, rummaging again through the drawer for the batteries.

“You need help?” He asks, his voice getting closer as he walks into the kitchen.

“Where are our batteries?” You murmur, closing that drawer and trying the next.

He ‘hmm’s for a second, and then answers, “Why the hell do you need batteries at 2am? You building something?”

“Yes, a robot,” you deadpan, “Mind your business. Do you know where they are?”

“Damn, what’s wrong?” you can hear the smile in his voice and you finally look up at him, growing impatient.

“Do you know where they are or not?”

He looks you over, seemingly trying to understand the situation, and then, you realize that you’re in only your shirt and underwear. You can see him swallow and avert his eyes to the cabinet as he seems to realize the same.

“I think so,” he says softly, “Hang on.”

He fetches a shoe box from the hallway closet and brings it back to the kitchen, plopping it on the counter. There’s various tools and nails and command hooks, and then, alas, he pulls out a small container of AA batteries. Gently, he puts them in your hand.

“There,” he says softly, “You good?”

You nod and mutter a soft thank you before making a quick escape, looking forward to no longer being in front of him in your underwear.

You know it’s no big deal, and that you two have gotten comfortable. But there’s this tension, sometimes. Mostly like this, at night, sometimes intoxicated. Where the stares between you two linger a bit too long, and your mind begins to wonder. You always push it down, because it’s not a good idea, and you know that. And when the light of day comes around, you’re always relieved that things feel normal again.

So that’s what you do; push it aside. Back to the matter at hand: you latch your bedroom door behind you and head straight for the vibrator, popping it’s plastic plate off and fishing out the old batteries. And then you realize. They’re the wrong size.

You take a shaking breath, irritated and tired. Without thinking, you throw it back on the bed and walk back out into the living room, where Jake has cozied up on the couch.

“Do we have triple A?” You ask flatly.

“Hmm?” He looks up at you. His eyes land on your bare thighs again, then flick back up quickly to your gaze.

“Triple A? Batteries?”

“Honey, what is this for?” He mumbles, getting off the couch again to help.

“It’s nothing,” you huff out, beginning to go through the shoebox again.

“Gotta tell me if you want help,” he smirks. You look up and he’s got a cocky hand on his hip, standing a couple of feet away. His hair is messy in the dim blue light, and he looks amused with himself.

No longer in possession of any patience to make up a story or fight off his questioning, you answer.

“My vibrator.”

His lips part in gentle shock, and the cocky expression leaves his face at once.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, “You just had to know, huh?”

You laugh, because he looks so shy and unlike himself all the sudden. Possibly delirious from the late hour, he laughs too.

“Sorry,” he murmurs. You can see him blushing even in the low light.

“It’s fine,” you rush out, “I’ve just had a bad day, I’m just—” you give up looking through the box, rubbing a hand over your face, “I’m just frustrated. And I just needed—nevermind,” you shake your head, “It’s dead, I just need the batteries.”

He nods and pulls the shoebox closer to him on the counter, picking through the nails and thumbtacks and tape.

“Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Honey,” he says quietly, “But I don’t think we have any.”

“It’s fine,” you sigh, “I’m gonna go to bed,” you pad a few steps away from him, “Goodnight. This didn’t happen,” you point a finger at him.

He salutes you and grins, headed back to the couch. Shoving your embarrassment down, you head to your room again and prepare for sleep. You can’t be bothered to mess with it again.

You’re just picking up the vibrator and putting the back piece back on when there’s a soft knock at the door.

Tucking the toy behind your back, you crack it open to reveal none other than Jake.

“Um,” he holds up the TV remote, “This has triple A batteries,” he says softly.

You look between the remote and him, a furious blush making its way across your face that he would care so much as to come tell you.

“Oh,” you say, eloquence evading you.

He passes it towards you and you open the door further, taking it from him in your open hand. You other stays tucked behind your back, hiding the toy in a way that feels very scandalous.

“Don’t you need this?” You ask, “You’re watching TV.”

He shrugs, “Not as bad as you do, apparently,” he grins and you can’t help but chuckle. “No, but, seriously, I’m probably gonna go to bed.”

You nod slowly, “Okay. Um,” you swallow. You should feel more nervous than you do. More embarrassed. There’s a bit of it, sure, but not much. It feels oddly comfortable. “Thank you.” You murmur.

He nods, and then licks his lip. You stare, because it seems to be almost in slow motion, and his bottom lip is left glossy. Here it is again: the tension. So easy to form in the late hours of the night.

“Mmhm,” he acknowledges your gratitude and he takes a breath, like he’s about to speak, but then his lips shut. He does it again, like he’s working up to saying it.

“Do you wanna make sure they work?” He asks, “Cause I can—if not, I can check my room, or something, um,” his hand grips the doorway and his fingers fidget with the wood. He’s doing a terrible job of acting casual about it, but you find it endearing.

“Sure,” you murmur, “Um,” you fumble with the toy behind your back, “Here, hang on.”

You turn around, just enough that he might not be able to plainly see it in your hand as you mess with it. But you can’t pop open the remote and the toy with both things in your hand, you realize quickly.

“Here,” he says gently, pushing your door open and touching you on the shoulder. He comes around to your side and takes the remote from your hand.

You watch him as he does, and while he looks a little bashful, you appreciate him not acknowledging what’s in your other hand.

With daft fingers, he removes the batteries from the remote as you take them out of the vibrator. You toss the old ones on your bed, and let him place the new ones in your palm. When you click them into place, the toy immediately buzzes to life.

“Oh—shit—“ you breathe, fumbling quickly to turn off the toy. You look at him in a panic, and mutter a soft, “Sorry. Thank you.”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything. He’s got an odd expression, and you think twice before asking, but then you can’t help it.

“What?” you ask.

“Uh,” he chuckles, “I don’t—um,” he runs his hand through his hair and looks back and forth between you and the vibrator, “Nothing.”

He doesn’t move, though. Doesn’t walk to the door, even a little bit.

“Jake,” you sigh, “What is it?”

“I just—“ he starts, and then he nibbles on his bottom lip again, “I probably…shouldn’t…”

You raise your brows at him, wondering what the hell he’s talking about.

“I just—“ he clears his throat, “If—if you had a hard day and you need…I mean, if you need to get off and—and if you just need, y’know, if you don’t wanna have to do a lot of work, I mean, if you’ve had a hard day—“

“Jake,” you giggle at his nonsense, “What?”

He collects himself with a breath, “I can help,” he says finally, “If you’d want that.”

“Help?” Your mouth goes dry at the thought that he’s saying what you think he is.

He nods, “Help. Just this once. Forget about it tomorrow, act like it never happened, all that good stuff, y’know.”

You know you’re standing there with a ridiculous expression on your face, but you can’t help it. You’re stunned.

“Oh,” you finally manage.

He just looks at you, perhaps scared to say anything else.

“You can say no,” he gives you the out, “Or you can say yes. It’s up to you.”

You note how quickly your thighs clench together at the thought, and how your cheeks heat. It’s undeniable that the offer sounds nice. Your day did suck, it would be nice to not have to think about it, just have someone else do the work. Especially someone as attractive as him, who you feel safe with, who you know would take care of you.

“Hm, Honey?” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, “I don’t even have to touch you, I can just use the toy, but maybe—“

“Sure,” you surprise yourself with the answer.

“Yeah?” He trails the back of his knuckles over your jaw, “Sound nice?”

A shaky breath leaves you as his fingers graze softly.

“Okay,” he murmurs, “And really,” he licks his lips, “We’ll forget all about it tomorrow. S’just a favor.”

“Okay,” you agree.

“Wanna lay down?” His voice is lower, gentle still, but almost gravelly.

You nod and sit near the top of your bed, watching him intently as he pushes the remote aside and touches your ankle softly. There’s nothing but the soft whir of the fan for a moment as he looks up at you. Suddenly, he looks so much like himself. So familiar. It puts you at ease, and he must see it.

He traces his palm up from your ankle to the inside of your thigh, where he touches softly.

“That okay?” He murmurs. When you nod, he settles more, laying on his stomach between your ankles.

His palms are large and warm over your thighs, where they work to help you relax through broad sweeps over your skin. The only light is from the salt lamp on your dresser, so he glows soft orange.

You can feel the tension unwind as he sweeps his palm again and presses a kiss to the inside of your knee.

“Can I have that?” he smiles as he nods toward your hand, still clutched around the vibrator.

Quietly, you pass the slender silicone wand to him. He takes it in his large hand and flips it, the side with the button in his palm. He skims it down the inside of your thigh, warming you up to the touch. It steals your breath.

“Relax,” he soothes, kissing your thigh again, “Just me.”

You nod, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

“Help slide these off for me?” He nudges the hem of your shirt up on your hip and tugs at one side of your underwear.

Doing as he asks, you slip fingers under the other side and with him, you drag them down and off your ankles.

He tosses them to the floor and comes back to you, skirting the toy up your thigh again, closer and closer. He’s looking up at you for a moment, and you hold the eye contact and your breath, but then finally he spares a glance to your center.

His breath shudders from him and his eyes close momentarily. When they open, for the first time you see him turned on. You can’t pinpoint what it is in his demeanor, but it’s undeniable. It lights a fire in your belly so quickly you wonder why you didn’t do this ages ago.

“Honey…” he sighs, then a groan sounds from the back of his throat, “I don’t wanna keep you waiting, is that okay? Or you wanna go slow?”

“No,” you answer quickly, “Don’t have to go slow.”

He nods and hits the button on the toy, sending it buzzing to life. You can just barely hear the sharp intake of breath from him.

A bit too slow, even, for your liking, he drags the toy up your thigh again, before finally letting the it rest over your clit. You try not to cry out, instead biting down on your lip hard, and pushing your hips up into the touch.

“You don’t have to do that,” he says calmly, “You don’t need to be quiet. Helps me know better what to do if you’re not quiet.”

“Oka—” it’s cut off with a groan as he nestles it more firmly against you.

“Feel good?” He asks, voice still low. You nod frantically, “You can—“ you sigh, a bit scared to say it. Too turned on to think much more, you just do, “You can touch me, if you want.”

He looks up at you quickly, and oh, his eyelids are heavy with lust.

“Yeah?” he says, as if he’s not sure he’s heard you right.

“Mmhm,” you nod, “Please.”

“Fuck,” it rushes out of him, “Yeah, Honey.”

He moves the vibrator aside for a moment, letting it rest just to the side of you. He removes the hand that was holding your thigh and licks the pad of his thumb before he brings it to you, greeting your clit with slow circles. The touch burns a trail through your body, immediately heating your face and chest.

“Jake,” the way you say his name is nearing pathetic.

“Yeah?” He sounds almost in pain, his voice is tight.

“More,” you shudder.

“How—Jesus Christ“ he clears his throat, “Do you wanna tell me how you like it, or you just want me to—“

“Just—,” you feel frantic, like your skin is too hot, and you don’t know what you need. You reach for him, and your hand lands in the crown of his hair, “Please, something—I—”

“Okay,” he soothes, “Okay.”

Slowly still, he moves the toy down and eases against the slick of your entrance, and when you push your hips into it, he takes it as permission to ease it into you.

“Fuck,” you bite out.

“Good?” he checks in, kissing your leg.

“Yeah,” you gasp.

“Good,” he murmurs, and then he’s settling down, pressing kisses further and further along your inner thigh, until finally, he meets your clit in a gentle kiss.

“Jake,” you groan, loud, “Ohmygod.”

He hums against you, and then before you can even catch your breath, he licks a full stripe, stealing whatever sanity you could have possibly had left.

“Don’t stop,” you know you’re whining but you can’t help it, not even a bit. He licks and sucks slowly, letting the buzz from the toy and the warmth from his mouth carry you to your end. Your hand stays buried in his hair at the roots, where you try not to squeeze it too hard.

It’s almost humorous, that earlier you were trying so desperately to get off, and now that it's a hair’s width away, you wish you weren’t so close. You don’t want the sweet warmth of his tongue to leave. Sadly, you don’t have a choice.

“Gonna cum,” you warn him, so he can back off if he wants, but he just groans into you, and keeps his motions steady.

You can’t breathe when it hits you, nor can you help the way your thighs tense around him. You’re pretty sure you almost pass out for a moment, as your vision goes all white when your eyes roll back. After it passes, and you can take a deep gasp of air again, he’s coming up for air.

“Fuck me,” he groans, “Fuck.”

You blink a few times so you can finally see him in the dim light again. He slides the vibrator from you and clicks it off, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Almost like he can’t help it, he gets up on his knees and grips the length of himself through the pajamas, his eyes rolling back and his lips falling open.

His eyes snap open to meet yours, and his hand falls away.

“Sorry,” he sighs quickly, “Sorry, I—“ he shakes his head, at a loss.

“It’s okay,” your chest heaves as you recover still from the orgasm.

You try to read him, to know where to go with this. Do you thank him? Do you offer to return the favor? That wasn’t part of this, though, maybe—

“Can I do it again?”

Your eyes meet his in some fiery standoff.

“What?”

He licks his lips, “Can I make you cum again?”

When you’re still silent for a moment, he adds, “Please?”

The groan that comes from you is much too loud and enthusiastic, and before you know it you’re reaching for him.

“Come here,” you plead, and he obliges, slotting with you and hovering over you, meeting you in a warm kiss.

“Fuck,” he says against your mouth, “I promise we can still forget about this tomorrow, if you want—“

“Shut up,” you smile, kissing him harder. He groans back and snakes a hand between your legs, where suddenly he’s nudging two fingers against you.

“Is—“

“Yes,” You answer before he can ask.

You gasp when they sink in, warm and full, so much better than the stupid vibrator.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he says against your cheek, as he’s nipping and licking a trail down your face, “I would—“ he swallows, you can hear it close to your ear, “I would fucking love to be inside you.”

“Oh my god,” it rushes out of you without thought, “Please.”

He groans, but pulls back.

“Are you sure—“

“Yes, Jake,”

“No, Honey, listen to me,” he holds your jaw in his hand, “We can still just pretend this didn’t happen tomorrow if you want, but please think about it for a second. I’m alright with it. Are you?”

You take a deep breath, and yeah, even when you think about it, even when it’s him, you want it. And you know he’d never hold it against you.

“Yeah,” you nod, “Yes.”

His lips curl into a wide grin, and then he’s back against your mouth, matching your fervor with his warm tongue. His fingers work still inside you, curling perfectly over and over.

You want him so badly all at once you can barely stand it, and without a second thought, it comes out of you:

“Can I ride you?”

His fingers halt and he groans so loud you almost wonder if he’s hurt, his head falls to your shoulder. Quickly, he collects himself, pulling his head up to look at you. He’s disheveled, and it’s hot. His hair is everywhere, his lips are swollen.

“As hot as that is, no, babe, this is still about you. Don’t want you to have to do any of the work.”

You’re trying to respond, but the way he said babe rings around in your head deafeningly loud.

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he kisses your cheek, “I promise.”

Numb from the pleasure, you nod as he withdraws his fingers. He smiles as he slips off the bed and tugs his shirt over his head. You follow his form, tugging your shirt over yours. His eyes slow for a moment over your chest, and you both take each other in.

You’ve seen him shirtless, as he cooks breakfast, or when he comes home from a jog. You know he has soft sides, a defined chest, and wonderfully strong shoulders. It still makes you speechless.

Even more, when he tugs the string of his pajama pants loose and eases them gently down his hips, letting them fall to the floor, you can’t find words. The curve from his hips to his waist makes your mouth open in an intrigued shock. And god, the thick length of himself that he takes quickly into his hand is enough to stun you forever. You’re shocked you can find words to answer him when he asks,

“You want this?”

It’s low and sultry as he palms himself. His head is cocked just to the side, making dazed eye contact with you.

“Yeah,” you sigh, “I—can I touch you?”

He bites on his bottom lip and nods, stepping closer to the side of the bed so that he’s within reach. Timidly, you reach up to take him into your hand. His hand moves, allowing it, and as your fingers wrap around him, your thighs clench. He releases a slow, shaky breath when you stroke him.

He’s warm, and thicker than at first glance. You can’t resist a peek up at his face as you move your hand slowly over him. His eyes are locked onto your hand, his lips parted in a sigh.

“Feels nice,” he thrusts experimentally into your grip, and his eyes roll back, “Your hand is so soft.”

You can’t help but giggle at that, and his eyes flit to your face. He chuckles too, pushing into your hand again.

“Fuck,” he hisses, “You ready?”

Nodding quickly, you greet him on the bed by sliding your legs back open, letting him kneel between them.

“Slide down a bit, babe,” he says quietly, touching your hip with delicate fingers.

You lay flat on the bed, letting him lean over you and prop himself up with his forearm by your head.

“Hi,” he grins.

“Hey there,” you giggle.

“Gonna kiss you again,” he murmurs as he leans in, his plush lips meeting yours in a lovely embrace. As you’re busy licking at his tongue, he rolls his hips against you, and you’re gasping at the warmth of him sliding against your clit.

“Shit,” he gasps into your mouth, “You’re gonna soak me, Honey. You always this wet, or am I doing that good a job?”

“I refuse to inflate your ego even more this evening,” you smile into the kiss.

“Understandable,” he’s smiling too, “I hope you can tell by how fucking hard I am that you’re doing something to me, too,” he grinds fully into you again and you’re whimpering as he licks at your lower lip.

“Jake,” you whine.

“Tell me, Honey, what is it?”

“Just fuck me, please.”

“Mmm,” he hums as his lips press to your cheek, “Gonna fuck you until you can’t remember the bad day you had, or anything else.”

If you say anything coherent, you can’t recall. It’s mostly a desperate groan, begging without words.

He reaches down and eases himself in, and you force your eyes open to watch his expression as he does. His mouth gapes, his eyes roll back. You wish you could watch it a million times.

And god, he’s warm as he stretches you, as his hips roll flush to you. He’s just big enough that it approaches a mild sting, but it’s welcomed. He props his other forearm on the other side of your head, and his hair falls around you, blanketing you in his body heat.

Just when you’re sure his hips are flush to you, he rolls them hard, sending your eyes back into your head.

“You like that, hm?” He shudders, “You feel so damn good.”

You just nod, struggling to keep your eyes open to look at him.

“Baby,” he says, sugar sweet, “Just take it, Honey, you don’t have to do anything else.”

He pulls his hips back and then rolls back into you, and suddenly that sneaking warmth is building in you again.

With his nose, he nuzzles your head to the side. As he begins to work at a slow, deep pace, he sucks gently on your pulse point. Your head is all blurry stars, your eyes rolling back far too often to see anything, and all you can smell is his shampoo and sweat.

You’re not sure if you’re making noise; you don’t think so, it feels like you can barely breathe. But then, Jake says,

“I know, babe, I know, let go.”

And you’re guessing you’ve said something to clue him into the fact that you’re on the precipice of a second orgasm.

With a sturdy roll of his hips, you’re scratching at the soft skin of his sides and drawing a whimper from as you clench around him like a vice, slamming into a somehow even more visceral orgasm than the first.

As it washes over you, you can hear yourself saying his name like a mantra.

“So good,” he’s still fucking slowly into you.

“Don’t fucking stop,” you whine, “Please, Jake, don’t stop.”

“Not gonna stop,” he kisses your cheek, “Gonna give it to you til you’re a cock-drunk mess, Honey, don’t worry.”

You shudder off a string of curses at his vulgar response, and you draw him even closer, one hand on his side, and the other wrapping into his hair. He resumes sucking on the side of your neck, something that makes your stomach flutter. He bottoms out over and over at a wonderous pace, somehow each thrust just as good as the last.

“You like this? Slow and deep?” He murmurs the question against your skin and punctuates the question with a lick.

“Yes,” you whimper.

“You wanna cum around me again?”

“Yeah,” you gasp, “Yeah, fucking—please,”

“Take your time, Honey,” he breathes, “I’m not going anywhere. Just gonna fuck and fuck you.”

“Kiss me,” you plead. He answers you quickly, his warm mouth on yours in an instant, warm and fervent. It’s embarrassingly quick, how soon you feel like you can cum again. But you can’t find the shame; he’s working himself perfectly against you.

“Close,” you confess against his lips.

“Good,” his voice is distant, “Let me have it.”

It hits you slow and unhurried, creeping hot vines up your torso and neck, gripping at your cheeks and burning a bolt of pleasure through you. You’re a floating, dizzy version of yourself when you come down.

“Fucking beautiful,” he’s sighing, “Gonna cum, Honey, you feel too good.”

He pulls out and balances on one of his arms as he shoves a hand down around himself. He looks the most beautiful that he ever has, in your opinion, as he cums.

His cheeks are flushed and his brow furrows, and his bitten lips curse softly when he loses it. For a moment he glances down between you, watching as he makes a mess.

You could watch it on repeat forever, and almost lament the moment before it passes.

Finally, he looks up at you. It’s quiet for a second before he grins.

“Hi, Honey,” he smiled wide.

“Hi,” you giggle. He unsticks a piece of his hair from your face as he catches his breath.

“Gonna kiss you again if that’s alright,” he sighs. You nod quickly, and he’s kissing you soft and slow. It’s so tender, you know you probably shouldn’t want it as bad as you do.

He must be on the same page, though, because he just kisses and kisses, licking slowly at your tongue and your teeth.

Some long while later, he comes up for air.

“Let me get my shirt for you,” he says, easing himself off the bed.

He fetches his discarded tee and cleans you with it gently, then wipes himself quickly before he climbs back beside you.

“So,” he breathes, reaching out to skim a finger over your chest, “Why was your day so bad, hm?”

“Jake,” you laugh. You can’t fathom why he’s asking you this right now, and you can’t recall a single thing that happened before the moment he was in your bed.

“What?”

“Tell me about your day. What was it, hm? That got you so frustrated you had to make yourself cum so bad,” he smirks.

“Jake, Jesus Christ,” you blush, “I have no idea anymore, it was just—“

“So it worked?”

You blink at him.

“I fucked you ‘til you forgot?”

If he was trying to make you laugh, it works, as the giggle that escapes you is borderline maniacal. He joins though, laughing lightheartedly beside you.

“Sorry,” he laughs, “Dumb joke.”

As the giggling winds down, the room is quiet. The thought pops into your head with conviction, and it feels only right to say it aloud:

“You know… I wouldn’t be mad if we didn’t forget this tomorrow,” you offer quietly.

He sighs and smiles at you, his eyes sparkly. He looks like himself; like the Jake you know, but closer, and warmer than before.

“I was kinda hoping you would say that.”

fin.

*tag list in progress of being updated*

[fleet-of-fiction]

[fleet-of-fiction]

[fleet-of-fiction]

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[fleet-of-fiction]

can we all agree that it's pathetic when so-called "friends" try to sabotage your opportunities? you're clearly jealous that the amulet of eternal darkness chose me and no amount of "please fight it, i know you're still in there somewhere" is going to change that. crab bucket mentality. grow up.

[fleet-of-fiction]

DIRTY DIANA - Jake x Diana; Jake x fem!OC

General Warnings: 18+ minors DNI / angst / fluff / smut (depictions of sex acts) / references to infidelity / anxiety / sadness / harassment / strong language at times / substance use at times

Summary: Jake finds himself caught in a dangerous game with Diana, a seductive and relentless woman who targets high-profile musicians.

COMING SOON

THE SPACE BETWEEN - Jake x fem!OC; Jake x fem!reader 

General Warnings: 18+ minors DNI / strong language at times / angst / fluff / smut (depictions of sex acts) / infidelity / mild violence / usage of alcohol / death / grief and loss / discussions of infertility and pregnancy

Series Summary: In a quiet neighbourhood, two next-door neighbours, Y/N and Jake, find solace in each other's company as their friendship deepens into a forbidden romance. As they navigate the challenges of concealing their affair, the story unfolds with the delicate dance of secrecy, passion, and the complex emotions that come with hidden love. Caught in the web of their own desires, Y/N and Jake must confront the consequences that their clandestine affair brings to their lives and their homes.

WRITTEN IN THE STARS - Josh x fem!Reader

General Warnings: 18+ minors DNI / angst / fluff / smut (depictions of sex acts) / references to infidelity / anxiety / depression / harassment / strong language at times / substance use at times / mentions of trauma and violence

Series Summary: You were getting the fresh start that you were in desperate need of. New city, new friends, new work … new feelings. Are you really ready for all that this fresh start may bring?

[fleet-of-fiction]

hope you’re doing good girl <3 thinking of you always

Im doing well thankyou lovely anon... i needed some time away from this space. My life has changed and I have stepped away from the fandom somewhat but im still here like a ghost 🤣♥️👻