#my essays

[flagellant]

For the past few years I've been enchanted by the idea of the divine as intrinsically horrific and dehumanizing, but not in the usual assumption (pun intended), where the intrinsic dehumanization and horror comes from something like "A god looked at me and I turned into stone" or "I, a mortal, looked at a god and got turned into a laurel tree".

I've been thinking about it in the opposite direction. Where being a god is intrinsically horrific and dehumanizing.

To put it another way: I've been writing a lot from the perspective of divinity where the god experiences godhood in the way a haunted house experiences househood. You were created by mortals for comfort, for condolence, for safety, for sympathy. You were built with all the care and special attention to ensure that you would last a long time--longer than your inhabitants would live, but that's fine, because they'll leave you descendants.

Except you, unlike the average house, have a brain. Have hands. Have a stomach which can hunger but never starve. You cannot die, but you know what death is. You see humans and raccoons and spiders and trees and rocks and everything else in this whole world die all the time, but it will not touch you.

How many years do you think it takes before your mouth starts to salivate like your gut's gone sour? How many endings do you have to witness before you begin to stop caring when things you paid attention to die? How many times do you hear your name contort and twist under the weight of different empires' languages before you stop recognizing it as yours anymore, and cease answering when they call?

How long does it take before you stop being capable of interacting with the rest of the world in a way that a person can understand, can safely comprehend, would ever want to experience?

And how much of that, do you think, do you let happen on purpose, because the alternatives were all too much to even begin to imagine after one too many mountains turned to sand before your eyes?

[wutheringskies]

The XuanWu Cave Scene is basically Lan Zhan absolutely losing it

Lan Wangji really just saved Wei Ying's life, screamed at Wei Ying, shoved him like thrice, told him not to flirt with people if he doesn't mean it, bit him like a dog, cried, told him to shut the hell up and that he is a fucking menace, took his underrobe, then apologized to him twice sincerely, then told him not to over think anything, then saved his life, then made him rest and grill him upon his sleeping schedule, then antagonize him, then stroke his hair while he's sleeping and let him roll about in his lap, then be angry at being called boring and then sing a song he'd written for Wei Ying to profess his immense love for him.

like

lan wangji is a fucking 13 year old teenage girl in love with that one popular guy in school. he's LOSING his goddamn mind. it's on "red hot alert" and alarm bells screeching in his head.

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words ��)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[chocolatemoneyrascalparty]

We do not talk about pogtopia and the pit and the explosion of l'manberg enough in this fandom!! Philza Minecraft stabbed his son after the most dramatic speech ever??? L'MANBERG GOT EXPLODED BY ITS CREATOR!! Tommy got so furious after the red festival that he straight up fought TECHNOBLADE who had killed his best friend and almost got beaten to death himself?? Wilbur let that happen?? Imagine how Wilbur and Tommy and Techno must feel seeing the sunlight for the first time after spending weeks in a ravine? How cold that ravine must be and how, no matter their attempts on making it homey, it will still be stone and cold and uncomfortable because they are literally in a cave?? How Wilbur must feel after seeing Schlatt and Quackity win the election and instantly changing the name of L'manberg, the country Wilbur fought so hard for? How he felt after getting exiled the minute after? Exiled from his country, that HE founded?? Pogtopia arc is the best arc of the entire dsmp

[pr1ncessasuke]

Dissecting Naruto’s Ending in Good Faith

Let's consider the possibility that Kishimoto's ending was deliberate—that things ended how they should've, and some plots weren't mistakes (looking at you, Kaguya).

Okay, hear me out. By assuming this, we can explore the series with a good-faith reading. Recently, I’ve been reflecting on the series as an adult, and it’s shaken up many of my beliefs and perceptions—it's somewhat distressing, so I’ve been processing all this in therapy too, and coming to key conclusions. I think It's crucial to understand the motivations behind Kishimoto's choices, not just within the Narutoverse but also within the Kishiverse. Why did he make the decisions he did?

Why did he suddenly introduce reincarnations and fate? Aliens? Why the couples that seemingly came out of nowhere? Why doesn't Naruto quite change the system, or help the Hyugas? The final arc, overall, just seemed quite jarring, with some plots (like fate) seemingly subverting the message of the series.

I wonder, then, if Kishimoto's ending shows more of a realistic world rather than an idealized one. Reality often unfolds messily and sadly, devoid of perfect resolutions. Whether intentional or not, Kishimoto's storytelling may reflect his acknowledgment of the imperfect nature of existence. His reality bleeds into his creation, and he's subject to the same harsh realities his characters face.

Fate, Justice, and Change

In this unideal depiction, Naruto and Sasuke's actions are tied to fate rather than free will, Sasuke doesn't achieve his revolution, Naruto doesn't dismantle the shinobi system, and both end up in marriages that seem sudden and unsatisfactory.

If Kishimoto indeed intended this, why? Well, change often takes time, and sometimes change doesn’t even happen at all. People can become tired of fighting for a cause in certain ways, and settle for smaller victories. Relationships may not always align with desires, leading to compromises for convenience.

It's intriguing that Kishimoto explores themes of defying fate while ultimately making Naruto destined to save the world anyway. By making even the protagonists constrained by destiny, Kishimoto echoes historical cycles of rise and fall. Perhaps there's something inevitable about human love and hatred. We can begin to see Kishimoto's philosophical musings on how the universe came to be—the First Cause theory, that there's a divine Creator behind the universe. Or, perhaps, no matter the circumstances or our destinies, we must try to make our own decisions.

And, Sasuke's lack of revolution may not be a complete surrender. He doesn't fully support the system, remaining detached from the bureaucratic and familial norms by traveling. He pursues justice by roaming the world as a vagabond, championing justice as a vigilante. Sasuke has never been one to adhere strictly to Konoha's rules; he eschews the headband and prioritizes loyalty to his morals and loved ones. His rebellion does not manifest as he initially envisioned because his youthful idealism inevitably wanes. But this doesn’t take away from his fight, because Kishimoto portrays him as insightful and intelligent, showing that Sasuke can recognize the pragmatic benefits of partial conformity. He forever remains committed to his pursuit of justice by traveling and aiding others. Thus, his true surrender lies in acknowledging that he can be loved without compromising his strength, refuting the notion of love as a weakness.

As for Naruto, he isn't ignorant—he does comprehend the situation fully, sharing a deep understanding with Sasuke that transcends words (“I know your heart, and you mine” telepathic conversations). While it doesn't seem like much has changed, the events in Boruto unfold merely two decades after Naruto's era, a short span in historical terms. Significant societal transformations typically require centuries, not mere decades. Nevertheless, Naruto succeeds in establishing an era of peace, which Kishimoto shows through the relatively low stakes in Boruto. And when there are threats, they often manifest on a cosmic scale involving gods and extraterrestrial beings. While Naruto and Sasuke have brokered peace among nations, they acknowledge the inevitability of conflicts and warfare. Naruto's focus shifts towards fortifying the system itself, striving for safety within the constraints of reality.

Unexpected and Reluctant Couples

To thoroughly analyze the series, we must also examine the role of romance, as Kishimoto's introduction of romantic pairings significantly impacts plot themes, character development, and motivations. Whether we embrace it or not, these pairings alter the essence of characters in ways previously unseen.

In the canon material (manga and anime main story only), Sasuke and Naruto exhibit no romantic interest in Sakura and Hinata throughout the series. In fact, neither actively pursues romance in general. Sasuke states as such to Kakashi, and Naruto tells Jiraiya he’s not interested in girls. While Naruto initially does have feelings for Sakura, he eventually relinquishes them. Both protagonists prioritize their ideological missions above all else, with exceptions made for their friendship with each other. Sasuke, for instance, abandons his vendetta against Itachi when he sacrifices himself for Naruto in the Land of Waves, while Naruto is willing to forsake his dream of becoming Hokage to die to save Sasuke from loneliness and hatred.

So, how does Kishimoto portray their eventual marriages? Sakura pursues Sasuke persistently, repeatedly confessing her feelings until he ultimately relents and agrees to a family life with her. Meanwhile, Naruto displays no romantic interest in Hinata, even disregarding her confession during the battle with Pain. When he eventually marries her and starts a family, it feels contrived and dispassionate, a jarring image contrasting the boisterous Naruto we know. These relationships seem to emerge out of duty and resignation rather than genuine affection. Both Sasuke and Naruto appear worn down by their wives' persistence, leading them to reluctantly accept their marriages.

These couples have sparked considerable debate within the fandom, and rightly so, because they are not healthy or truly romantic relationships; rather, the depiction reflects the harsh realities of many real-life relationships. Kishimoto portrays Naruto and Sasuke's marriages with little prior development; perhaps a deliberate narrative choice rather than an oversight, highlighting their dissatisfaction through their roles as absentee fathers.

And in terms of specifics, Naruto's marriage seems to revolve more around Hinata than anything else. Consider this: why is Naruto portrayed as uncharacteristically serious and subdued when interacting with Hinata? Even during the pivotal moment when he finally confesses his love to her, his demeanor remains stoic and solemn. Where is the goofy and expressive Naruto we know and love? Additionally, why does Kishimoto include comments from other characters urging Naruto to "treat her well"? Because Naruto's marriage is not primarily about him; Hinata simply happened to be there, and it’s his duty to follow up on that.

And for Sasuke, why do we see panels like the family dinner in Boruto where Sasuke appears utterly miserable? Why is Sasuke never around? Why didn’t Kishimoto even give them a kiss scene? Why does Sasuke mostly display emotions when he's engaged in combat or interacting with Naruto? It's because Sasuke finds purpose and vitality in fighting for his beliefs, and Naruto is the only character depicted by Kishimoto who truly understands Sasuke's innermost thoughts and feelings. Sakura doesn't get Sasuke's essence. Isn't a marriage supposed to be built on true understanding, and progression?

One way we can see it is, Kishimoto, as an artist, is deliberate with his drawings, and these details are not mistakes. Canonically, both Sasuke and Naruto are depicted as tired or subdued in their relationships. Despite Kishimoto drawing them blushing in various situations before, neither of them ever exhibits such reactions when interacting with their wives. This deliberate choice by Kishimoto, despite them being his beloved main characters, shows that Sasuke and Naruto are not in love with Sakura and Hinata.

Love and (lack of) Romance

Sasuke and Naruto are not portrayed as romantic individuals; rather, they are depicted as traumatized fighters and idealists driven by a desire to change the world.

Kishimoto remains true to this characterization throughout the series, extending into Boruto. While Naruto is largely a series about love, it's not focused on romantic love. Instead, it delves into the concept of transcendent love and optimism amidst adversity, encompassing love found in seeking revenge, striving to change the world, and fostering bonds of friendship and loyalty. The relationship between Naruto and Sasuke is the one Kishimoto gives the most development to in the series, and embodies nuances of love, rivalry, loyalty, and compromise. This love isn’t necessarily romantic, but it can also be anything because it is transcendent love. This part is up to you to decide and I believe doesn’t take away from their story either way.

Another question that arises is, does Kishimoto really just suck at writing romance? Well, not really. He’s demonstrated his ability to craft compelling romances, such as those between Minato and Kushina, and Asuma and Kurenai. However, he chose not to apply this to Naruto and Hinata or Sasuke and Sakura. Although, he does show that Sasuke cares for Karin at one point, even awakening a new power for her, but takes it back as their relationship ultimately falls victim to Sasuke's madness at the time (although I believe this relationship, along with Naruto x Sasuke, can tentatively be argued for, but I digress for now).

These decisions reflect 1) the fact that Naruto and Sasuke's characters are not about romantic love; their goals and convictions for justice are prioritized above all else 2) Hinata and Sakura are not The Ones for them. Thus, their seemingly unhappy relationships serve as a reflection of their de-prioritization of romantic love in favor of their greater missions.

Further, realistically, people don't always end up with their ideal partners. Many people settle in relationships because they desire families or because they are pursued by others, rather than actively seeking out their soulmates. Kishimoto chooses to depict Naruto and Sasuke with a lack of emotional expression with their respective spouses. Even in the presence of their own children, Naruto and Sasuke are not depicted with joyful expressions, suggesting a lack of fulfillment in their familial roles.

The Whitepill

Ultimately, the way things turned out seems disheartening at first because shows are meant to inspire and provide an escape from reality. Throughout the series, Kishimoto led us to believe in the possibility of an ideal ending, where change is attainable and love conquers all.

But, Kishimoto's decision to depict Naruto and Sasuke's inability to achieve 100% of what we desire is, in fact, profound. The truth is, we can't always get exactly what we want, but we can make small compromises and strive for justice in whatever ways we can. This struggle is something humanity has faced throughout its history. Our world is far from ideal. But, we are still able to achieve bits of justice in ways we can; we get just enough to keep us going, to leave us with the thirst for more.

Perhaps Kishimoto portrays Sasuke's surrender not because he believes Naruto is unequivocally right, but because Sasuke wants to choose love, and is inherently kind and idealistic. He cares deeply about his friend and desires to see positive change in the world. Sasuke's journey leads him to become a protector of not just Konoha, but all villages, reflecting his compassion for people everywhere.

Similarly, Kishimoto may depict Naruto continuing on as part of the existing system not because Naruto is complacent, but because he's someone who seeks to work within established frameworks rather than tearing them down completely. This approach doesn't diminish Naruto's convictions or his commitment to change; rather, it reflects his pragmatic approach to achieving his goals while minimizing disruption.

Naruto and Sasuke's best efforts serve as inspiration for us to take up the mantle and continue the fight.

Ideal World and Optimism

Despite this, Naruto’s ending does not really make sense in an ideal world. In an ideal world, there would be a more perfect compromise, we wouldn't be bound by our fate, and the oppressive shinobi system would be dismantled. Naruto and Sasuke would have more time to heal and explore the world alone, and eventually find fulfillment in their love lives; Sasuke would find someone who truly understands him, while Naruto would enjoy a relationship where he can be his true, expressive self. Sakura would be able to move past her childhood infatuation and grow personally, while Hinata would gain confidence and develop her own identity.

Therefore, reading from a purely Narutoverse standpoint, the issues I mentioned do, in fact, undermine the themes and relationships built over the course of the narrative. Maybe Kishimoto fumbled after all, and Boruto sucks, and is simply a cash grab. Or, he intentionally wanted to troll us—suddenly breaking all conventional storytelling rules is suspicious, right?

Perhaps what really happened is a mix of all these things. While there are many external influences that led to this bleak ending, Kishimoto's intentions surely play a vital role.

Regardless, Kishimoto's big mistake is being too subtle and abrupt in introducing the new concepts at the end. However, in doing so, he has successfully sparked ongoing disagreement and discourse that persists even a decade after the series concluded.

In this sense, he has effectively brought attention to the messages: make love, not war; seek change, not complacency; and find The One, don’t settle. And even if I’m wrong in everything and this whole essay is just a copium, it's a lot better to believe in my ideals than to accept defeat. Because, Naruto taught me one invaluable lesson—no matter the odds, never give up.

[katy-133]

How Do Spy's Disguises Really Work? [TF2 Lore]

This is NOT a tutorial nor guide on how to use disguises in the game. This is a Team Fortress 2 essay about Spy's ability to disguise, how it works in-universe, and some implications we can deduce through it.

(This essay contains spoilers for the TF2 comics Old Wounds and The Naked and the Dead, and the Valve animation, Meet the Spy.)

Note: As of the time of writing, issue 7 of the comics has not been released.

Point 1) The Disguise Kit's Backstory

The Spytron 3000 is the personal device assistant Spy uses to disguise as the other 8 mercs. This name is listed in TF2's official website's page for Spy, while in-game, it's named as the Disguise Kit in your inventory. We also see the name Spytron 3000 printed on the model in-game.

The Disguise Kit is made to look like a cigarette case, and Spy keeps his cigarettes in it. Evidence that Spy smokes cigs kept in this case is seen in Meet the Spy, Expiration Date (seen pulling a cigarette out of it), and in-game (when you Taunt while holding the Disguise Kit, and animation can play of Spy smoking and flicking the cig away).

(Image: Meet the Spy)

(Image: Expiration Date)

The Sniper Vs Spy Update gives us this image, which is a catalogue advertising spy gadgets, with (assumedly) Spy circling the gadgets he wants to order.

(Image: Sniper Vs Spy Update)

The Dead Ringer (pocket watch) and the Cloak and Dagger (wristwatch) are items Spy can use in-game.

Another section on the same image shows Spy's catalogue order:

The Disguise kit doesn't appear here, but this image implies that the Disguise Kit came from the same manufacturer. This is significant, because it means that the Disguise Kit is something that Spy didn't make himself, and therefore has to rely on someone else for the Disguise Kit to provide what he needs from it (as he may not be able to edit or change the way the Disguise Kit works by himself). Keep this in mind going forward.

Point 2) How the Enemy Sees Disguises

In-game, enemy players see disguised Spies as whichever merc they are disguised as, from whichever team (as you can also disguise as one of your own teammates to fool the enemy). Enemy buildings (Sentry Turrets, Dispensers, and Teleporters) are fooled by this disguise.

In-game, as disguises are being activated, you can see smoke appear around an Enemy spy disguising. Remember that for later.

(Image: Weapon Demonstration: Disguise Kit, OfficialTF2Wiki, YouTube)

But what about outside of the game? In the comics, we see Classic BLU Spy (from Team Fortress 1) disguised as RED Heavy. The disguise is so flawless, it fools everyone. When he undisguises, there's a smoke effect.

(Image: Old Wounds, TF2 comics)

What about the animated shorts? Meet the Spy is the only example where we see a Spy use disguises in a Valve animation. In this example, a RED Spy is fighting a BLU Medic alone and Spy shapeshifts into Medic.

(Gif: Meet the Spy)

We see the following details in this scene:

Rows of red stripes of light appear over Spy.

Heat distortion (also called a mirage).

Smoke appear around Spy.

Spy's face changes into Medic's.

Let's break this down step by step.

I think we can infer that the stripes of light are red because it's a RED Spy disguising. This means that if a BLU Spy disguises, the stripes would be blue.

The heat distortion (the wiggly lines of air you see when you're looking past hot air) implies that there's some sort of release of heat that happens when Spy disguises. Another word for this is a mirage effect. Mirages are associated with illusions and being deceived.

The smoke implies something is burned when Spy disguises. It also adds significance to the Disguise Kit being disguised as a cigarette case (smoke = lighting a cigarette).

Then Spy's face changes to Medic's. It happens less like a morph and more like a liquid (or layer of a soft material) covering over Spy.

So the takeaway is that Spy's Disguise Kit allows Spy to look exactly like another merc, through some sort of process that involves extreme heat creating a cover over Spy. What is this heat and why does it change Spy's appearance?

In-universe, the technical mechanics behind Spy's shapeshifter effect are left vague. But we can look to another Valve game for inspiration to finding a possible explanation: Portal 2.

Poral 2 includes a technology described as hard light. They are used to create bridges in the game. Touching them is described as feeling "like standing outside with the sun shining on your face. It would also set your hair on fire," (according to GLaDOS). It is made from natural sunlight.

(Image: Hard light bridge in portal 2. Image from the Half-Life Fandom Wiki)

My theory is this: I think Spy's disguises are created using holograms that work in a similar way to hard light bridges in Portal 2. It is light bending around Spy, changing his appearance, feeling solid, and creating intense heat to form and unform.

Point 3) How Teammates See Disguises

In-game, teammates see disguised Spies wearing paper masks with an image of the merc they are disguised as.

(Images: Team Fortress 2 Official Wiki)

Why is this? How does this work? How does the Disguise Kit even produce the mask? Does it print it out? What is the smoke for?

Team Fortress 2's developer commentary includes this insight by lead designer Robin Walker:

"With nine classes of characters, and so many weapons and unique abilities, one of our biggest challenges was exposing all these combinations to players without overwhelming them. […] We tried to avoid attaching 2D elements to the HUD as much as possible, since we wanted players to be looking at the 3D world we'd built rather than some abstract representation. For example, players always see their own team's spies as a spy, but they need to know how the spy is disguised to the other team. We tried a quick hack where we put an icon representing the spy's current disguise floating above his head. The icon proved baffling to playtesters. When we tackled the problem by putting cut-out paper masks on the spy, it not only fit the humorous style of the game, but it let players get all pertinent information directly from a quick look at the spy's model, thus keeping them focused on the characters and on the action of the game." —Robin Walker, Hydro Map Developer Commentary

This is practical, because it stops teammates from trying to attack their fellow teammates whilst also being able to see what class (merc) the Spy is disguised as. Even teammate Sentries are not fooled by your disguise, and won't fire at you.

This is a play on an old trope in storytelling where a character is wearing a disguise that obvious to the audience, but fools the fictional characters. This prevents the audience from getting confused or fooled themselves. The TV Tropes dot org article for this is called Paper-Thin Disguise, making Spy's masks really on-the-nose in a funny way.

So can all teammates automatically see through disguises if the Spy is on their team? In-game, it appears so. What about outside of the game?

In the TF2 comics, we see just the smoke effect used. We never see Spy wearing a paper mask at any point in the TF2 comics. Nor in any of the Valve animations.

In The Naked and the Dead, Spy disguises himself as Tom Jones, which fools Scout. When his disguise vanishes, he emits smoke.

(Image: The Naked and the Dead, TF2 comics)

This is interesting because they are both RED teammates, but Spy was still able to fool Scout. This indicates that Spy can choose to have his disguises fool his teammates.

A Detour About Quantum Leap

Let's talk about Quantum Leap. It's a 1989 time travelling series about a man (Sam) who, through a sci-fi mishap, leaps into the life of another person each episode. Sam is always played by the same actor (Scott Bakula), but when he is seen in mirrors, we see another actor in his place. This other actor is how everyone else (the other characters) actually see him:

Scott Bakula as Sam pictured screen-left in both images, looking at his reflection.

(Images: Quantum Leap, 1989)

How does this work? The actor always being Scott Bakula is for the benefit of the audience. He is the main character in a revolving door of different settings, plotlines, and time periods. He is the anchor of the show that unifies episodes, and that's comforting for the viewer. It's non-diegetic.

Diegetic refers to an element in fiction that exists in-universe of the story and is able to be perceived by the characters. It's the soundtrack if the characters complain that it's too loud. It's the camera if they bump into it. It's meta.

So non-diegetic is something that doesn't exist in-universe and is perceived by the audience but not the characters. It's the title of the movie overlaying the screen without the characters commenting on it. It's a stage musical swapping set pieces as the characters talk and don't notice. It's for the benefit of the audience. It values encapsulating a feeling of something, over how something literally is. It's vibes.

Aside from the Quantum Leap example, there are other works of fiction that have done this type of visual style of using multiple actors for mirror reflections. Another example that springs to mind is the 2011 sci-fi film Source Code. In the film, the main character has to re-live a time loop whilst in the body of another passenger on a train in order to figure out which passenger left an explosive on it.

So in Quantum Leap, Sam still feels like himself (and is thus shown that way to the audience), but is actually projecting an "illusion of [the person's] physical aura" (Sam's words) through sci-fi tech that makes everyone around him see the person he's "leaped" into, instead of him.

Why am I talking about Quantum Leap? I think something similar happens when we see Spy disguised in-game.

The paper face masks are for the benefit of the audience. They don't exist to any of the characters.

Point 4) How Spy Sees Himself Disguised

In-game, he sees himself as himself. If you're playing Spy disguised, you see his (undisguised) hands and the weapon he's holding.

You also see a little portrait of the merc he's disguised as (at the bottom-left corner), so you (as Spy) still know how you appear as to enemies.

So Spy perceives himself as himself. He doesn't see his own body as changed.

Point 5) How Voices Work

When Spy is disguised, he also gains the voice of whoever he's disguised as.

In Meet the Spy, Spy disguised as Medic doesn't speak, so we don't get an example of this in any of the Valve animations.

In the comics (issue 5, Old Wounds), Classic Spy speaks as RED Heavy, and fools RED Spy, so we can assume Classic Spy was imitating Heavy's voice (as the webcomics, while they include scripted panel changes, don't include audio).

In-game, when you're disguised, all voice lines switch to the merc you are disguised as. If you call for Medic, you yell as the merc you are disguised as, etc.

This leads to two theories:

a) Spy can imitate voices himself and therefore can imitate voices while not disguised (example: He's on the telephone, he could imitate voices before he joined RED/BLU and can do it without the Disguise Kit)

b) Spy is only able to imitate voices using the Disguise Kit and can't imitate voices without it.

Both possibilities lead to interesting potential plot ideas.

It's worth noting that while on fire, Spy will still sound like the merc he is disguised as. This leads me to deduce that it's the Disguise Kit, as why would Spy bother to maintain the voice impression? He's already been caught and he's possibly about to die.

Point 6) How Spy Undisguises

If Spy's disguises by using technology, how how does he "turn it off"?

There appears to be two ways: Unintentionally or intentionally.

Unintentional examples would include getting hit with Sniper's Jarate in-game. It's like the liquid somehow disrupts or "short circuits" the disguise. Another example would be Spy getting shot while disguised in The Naked and the Dead comic, which seems more like an emotional/psychological/physical response (in this case, pain).

Intentional examples include trying to attack in-game, which instantly undisguises you as Spy. And Spy's disguise fading away after fooling Scout with it in Naked and the Dead. He doesn't say anything or make a motion, he appears to simply will the disguise away.

So it may be that Spy has some sort of "connection" with the Disguise Kit that lets it detect his intentions.

Point 7) Is This Body Swapping?

So when Spy is disguised, is he actually in a copy of the body of the merc he's disguised as? If so, there's multiple implications:

Does he need glasses when he's Medic?

Does he no longer have a right hand when he's Engineer?

Does he lose an eye as Demoman?

How does the clothing swapping work? Can he remove clothing, or would it cease to exist if it travels too far from his body/the Disguise Kit's influence?

There's multiple counter arguments suggesting that this is not the case and Spy is not body swapping:

Spy can switch weapon items of the other merc when he's disguised by switching to his other items (and pressing B).

If Spy was actually using Medic's real glasses, that would presumably mess with his vision. And Spy has no visible issues with his vision.

Spy can't run as fast as Scout, nor double jump, so he doesn't gain Scout's physical capabilities.

As mentioned in Point 4 earlier, Spy sees himself as himself. His body doesn't change from his own POV.

In the comics, when Spy is shot in the leg while disguised, he keeps the same injury afterwards. The person who he was disguised as was Classic Engineer. Who has metal prosthetic legs. And therefore wouldn't get injured from a shot in the leg at all.

(Image: The Naked and the Dead, TF2 comics)

In Meet the Spy, Spy's missing Medic's glasses when he shapeshifts into Medic, but that may have been done to make the scene cooler (he steals Medic's glasses after defeating him).

(Image: Meet the Spy)

Spies also can't use weapons of the merc they are disguising as. Attacking instantly undisguises the Spy. This implies that the new weapons Spy holds when he is disguised are the same weapon with an illusion cast over it, not a weapon swap.

It not being body swapping also opens the door to the potential that Spy can disguise as a person who doesn't exist, allowing him to create an entirely new persona.

Point 8) Spy-Checking In Game

In fiction, shapeshifters often have a "tell" of some sort, where they can't quite perfectly mirror the individual they've shapeshifted as. On TV Tropes org, it's called "Glamour Failure," in reference to glamour, an archaic term used in mythology for a type of beauty spell, or a spell to make the shapeshifter appear human. Common glamour failure examples in fiction include the shapeshifter's eyes being the wrong colour, or their reflection revealing their true form.

(Gif: The Little Mermaid, 1989)

Does Spy have a tell? Well, in Meet the Spy, the audience is surprised by Scout being the Spy. He looks like Scout, sounds like Scout, and acts like Scout. What makes the audience twig on that it's not Scout is when he does a trick with Spy's balisong (knife). Scout wouldn't do a knife trick with a balisong.

And I think that's illustrative to how you can detect a disguised Spy in the game. It's (in part) spotting a teammate acting oddly. Medic running around not healing anyone, that sort of thing.

Other ways to Spy check in the game (but not limited to) are:

You can't walk through enemy Spies like you can with teammates.

Teammate attacks don't hurt teammate Spies.

Sniper's Jarate instantly ruins an enemy Spy's disguise if it splashes on him.

Spy mimics the speed of the merc he's disguised as, but can't run as fast as Scout.

The speed difference between Scout and Spy is notable. Is the Disguise Kit making Spy slow down, or is the speed change just Spy trying to act more like the merc he's imitating? Could he run faster if he needed to? It's unclear.

There are also in-game support-type effects that affect disguised Spies differently:

Teammate's Sentries will always be friendly to disguised Spies. Enemy Sentries will fire at Spies unless they are disguised.

Medic's crossbow heals teammates and hurts enemies. It hurts disguised enemy Spies.

When Soldiers activate a banner, nearby teammates that do not emit a glow are disguised enemy Spies.

If Spy is disguised as an Engineer with a Beep Boy cosmetic, it will always appear with a sad expression, instead of happy with various emotions.

(Image: A Beep Boy with a sad, pained expression)

This means that some forms of technology are fooled by Spy's disguises, but others are not.

This raises the question of whether Spy's disguises can sometimes/always be seen-through by animals. Maybe the dove Archimedes isn't fooled by disguises?

Related to glamour failure, there is a trope in fiction where dogs, cats, pets, etc. are not fooled by disguises because they can sense the morality of the person in a way that humans can't, or because they know their human so well. (The TV Tropes article for it is titled, Evil-Detecting Dog.)

Point 9) Other Characters/Things Using Disguises

Can other characters who are not Spy use the disguise kit? What is stopping them?

Aristotle is a raven Spy has on his shoulder as a cosmetic (an item you can wear in the game). This raven is wearing a tiny paper mask with an image of Archimedes (Medic's dove) printed on it. This implies that other characters are perceiving Aristotle as Archimedes, which is very funny. This also means that other characters can use disguises. It's just that Spy is the one who uses the Disguise Kit, as it's part of his job.

(Images: Aristotle, left. The Counterfeit Billycock.)

The Counterfeit Billycock is an in-game hat disguised as another hat. This being an example of objects using disguises.

This also infers that inversely, Spy can use disguises to appear as an animal or an inanimate object. We just haven't seen him do that yet.

This leads us to...

Point 10) A Note on the Disguise Kit's Interface

In-game, a screen overlay appears when you select Spy's Disguise Kit. This shows the different merc disguise options, but it's for the benefit of the player. It's not what Spy sees in-universe.

What Spy sees is what's behind this overlay: His Disguise Kit being opened. As written earlier, it's made to look like a cigarette case on the outside. The inside of the case includes a screen and three buttons below it. I interpret the interface as a screen displaying portraits of different mercs, with the two yellow buttons being left/right keys, and the red button (or blue button for the BLU Spy in Meet the Spy) being the select key.

(Image: Meet the Spy)

So we can come to the deduction that what stops Spy from disguising himself as someone other than the mercs is the same reason we can't in-game: He isn't given the option in the interface. Not that he has the option, but he chooses not to. Or doesn't think to do it. Or a situation hasn't come up where doing so would be useful.

This doesn't explain how Spy was able to disguise himself as Tom Jones, but maybe the option was given to him at some point near the start of the comic series.

If only Spy were given upgrades to his Disguise Kit for plot reasons, hmm...

Point 11) Applying Canon to Fan Works

So with all this canon information, we can take this knowledge and apply it to fan works to create something new. This includes fan fiction, animations, webcomics, etc.

So let's start asking questions. In the restrictions of established canon, can Spy…

Disguise as another character, such as Saxton Hale, Miss Pauling, or the Administrator?

Can Spy disguise as an animal, such as Archimedes?

Can Spy disguise as an inanimate object? … without contravening canon?

Spy Disguising as Saxton Hale, Miss Pauling, and the Administrator

(Image: Jungle Inferno)

Saxton Hale is not one of the mercs (he's the owner of MANN CO., which RED/BLU get their weapons and hats from) and is much larger than Spy. Maybe Spy can't disguise himself as non-mercs? Again, size does not appear to stop Spy from disguising as Heavy, and Spy has canonically disguised himself as Tom Jones, who is not a merc. So in theory, Spy could disguise as Saxton Hale.

(Image: Meet the Director comic)

Miss Pauling and the Administrator bring up the question of whether or not the Disguise Kit allows the user to disguise as someone of a different gender. Spy's teammates are men, with Pyro's gender being unknown. So Spy disguising as another gender does not contradict canon, it's just unknown if he canonically has done so already.

(Image: Expiration Date)

While not a disguise, we do have official Valve art of Spy wearing the gold/blue "colour illusion" dress (the original dress being designed and manufactured by Roman Originals) in celebration of Steam's 20th Anniversary.

While wearing a dress is not the same as shapeshifting into a woman, this illustrates that Spy has not been stopped by gender expectations of the 1960s from presenting himself more femininely.

(Image: Steam's 20th Anniversary. Art by Claire Hummel)

So the thing stopping Spy from disguising as Saxton Hale, Miss Pauling, or the Administrator would not be because the Disguise Kit is incapable of ever doing so, but because the kit doesn't provide those options, out of the company's benefit. Remember back in Point 1 that the Spytron 3000 is an (unknown) company's invention that was shipped to Spy? It would not be in TF2 Industries' interest to give a merc the ability to disguise as one of their bosses or boss's assistants. It would be a infiltration liability waiting to happen.

Spy Disguising as Animals

This once again falls into the realm of size not stopping Spy from disguising as something, just in the opposite direction. Spy can disguise as Engineer and other mercs shorter than Spy.

Is there a limit to how small? Can Spy disguise as a mouse? A Spycrab? Again, it's just unknown if he can because hasn't happened in the canon.

(Image: Spycrab cosmetic)

Spy Disguising as Inanimate Objects

There's a reoccurring joke I've seen in different fan works of Spy disguising as a lamp by wearing a mask that has an image of a lamp printed on it. I saw it enough times that I had assumed it was from canon, but I couldn't find a canon example of it anywhere. I'm unsure of its original origin in fan works, but it has since been embraced by the fandom.

Another example of a fan work letting Spy disguise himself as an object is Fortress Film's (the creators of Emesis Blue) fan film, Spy's Disguise. In this 28 minute animated film, Spy figures out how to disguise himself as a sentry gun.

(Gif: Spy's Disguise by Fortress Films, YouTube)

12) Conclusion: So How Do Disguises Actually Work?

In conclusion, Spy's disguises can be interpreted as a smokey aura or hologram that surrounds Spy through a piece of tech known as the Spytron 3000.

It is a perfect visual and audio disguise to all the mercs, both for teammates and enemies. We see Spy's paper mask for the benefit of the audience and is possibly non-diegetic (metaphorical and not existing in-universe). The paper masks are not seen by any of the mercs, teammate or otherwise.

A teammate Spy can choose to allow teammates (and possibly enemies) see through this aura, whilst still knowing that the Spy is disguised, and who he is disguised as.

Nevertheless, part of the fun of fan works is that they can deviate from canon. Want Spy to body swap? Yes! Want Spy to be able to remain disguised while attacking someone in a fight? The power is yours.

Fan work is universes within universes.

[smart-academic-solutions]

College: Where you learn to survive on caffeine, Google searches, and the occasional burst of motivation 😫😭😭

[theblueprincess590]

The Heart of a Toy-An Analysis of KH3

Ever since finishing Kingdom Hearts 2 Nomura has been insistent on including Toy story in Kingdom hearts 3 even going as far as to say in an interview with Jen Simpkins from GameRader’s Edge Magazine, “After we were done with Kingdom Hearts II and were starting to consider III, we started talks with Disney, I remember saying, ‘If we can’t use Pixar, then we can’t have a third game.’ It’s that important to the game series,” (Nomura). And it’s clear to see why Nomura put so much importance on Toy Story once you realize how much its story connects to and reinforces the themes and mythos of Kingdom Hearts.

Toy Box is a magical world. While it appears to be the same of our own it holds a great secret, Toys are alive. When a child looks away a Toy springs to life revealing a heart of their very own, but that begs the question, how does a toy possess a heart? In Kingdom Hearts 3 we learn the answer. A toy is given a heart by the love of children. When a child looks upon a toy they do not see a cheap piece of plastic but instead they see a friend with a heart of its own to be loved and cherished. And it is that belief which truly gives the toys a heart. This is what Woody means when he says the Toys within Galaxy Toys have yet to figure it out. That they have yet to realize the love of a child and thus are empty shells without a heart of their own.

As Young Xehanort himself points out this draws heavily parallels between the toys and Nobodies, both incomplete creatures searching for their missing Half, but this parallel isn't just there to establish why the heartless can possess the empty toys. The point of this Parallel is to answer a question that has haunted the narrative of Kingdom Hearts since the events of KH2, Why does Roxas have a heart?

Roxas, just like his somebody, is an anomaly in the world of Kingdom Hearts. He is a nobody that bears neither the face nor the memories of his original self. He is more shallow than any other nobody, less a body without a heart and more a broken shell. Yet not only was Roxas the first nobody to grow a heart but said heart was his alone. Throughout the events of Days Roxas grows from a barely living husk of a man to one who definitely proclaims his own existence and personhood. And this is thanks to the bonds forged in his first year. Just like how a Toy is given a heart through the eyes of a child Roxas was given a heart by those that were drawn to him. From those he shared ice cream with under the twilight sky, the trio he befriended ever so slightly on a lazy afternoon, the fairy tale heroes his somebody cherished, and even the forgotten longing of brothership from the King of Nothing Roxas began to be shaped by those around him. His soul is learning the rules of the world, the nature of a heart, the simple joys of friendship, the sting of betrayal, and the heartbreak of goodbyes. As Roxas’s newborn heart grew with every day he too gained the ability to see the hearts of others whether it be in the Flurry of Dancing Flames whose false smile became true or the Puppet who became a Real Girl. But perhaps the final proof of Roxas' heart lies with his own “Andy”. Sora at first refused to see his “Woody”, whether it be or out of ignorance or prejudice Sora denied Roxas existence, refusing to heed the clues of the other half or feel his presence in his heart. That is until Roxas forced Sora to acknowledge him. Within the very core of his heart Sora came face to face with Roxas and was forced to acknowledge their connection through the Keyblades in order to win the fight. With Roxas’s tragedy laid before him Sora is at last ready to accept the truth and later on in the realm of sleep acknowledge not only Roxas’s existence but that he has a heart of his own. Just like how Andy gave woody and Buzz hearts by writing his name on them, Sora gives his Nobody a heart by acknowledging him as his own person.

While Toy Box Provides many answers it also raises a new question. If A toy gets its heart from a child’s love what happens when a toy becomes worlds apart from its kid? This question plaques Buzz throughout the events of Toy Box. With every possessed toy they defeat Buzz sees himself in them more and more. He fears that as he continues to drift away from Andy he too will lose his heart and become just another lifeless puppet . Ironically enough it is this very fear of separation that allows the darkness to grow inside Buzz making him another weapon for the heartless. In contrast to Buzz Woody is able to resist the pull of darkness. Woody has already dealt with the fear of separation first through his anxiety over being replaced by Buzz as Andy's favorite toy and second when he became paranoid over the idea of Andy abandoning if he broke. Both events taught Woody something important that yes his time with Andy is not permanent, that someday they will part but that doesn't mean their bond will ever end. Thanks to the events of Toy story 1 and 2 Woody has the resolve to face the hardships of Young Xehanort’s trials and keep his faith in Andy. And this is why Woody is the one to challenge Young Xehanort.

ToyBox is ultimately an encapsulation of the themes of Kingdom Hearts. This can be seen through the many parallels between The World and KH as a series. We’ve already pointed out the connection between the toys and Nobodies but what about how the world is split in two just like in dream drop Distance. Or how about the toy's separation from Andy mirrors Sora’s separation from Riku and Kairi in KH1 with Woody managing to resist the pull to darkness and put his faith in the light because he knows the true strength of a heart thanks to his connections. And lets not forget Buzz’s possession calling back to Riku and Terra’s fall to darkness. Even Buzz’s salvation continues to draw parallels between him and Riku with how they are both saved from the darkness by their friends never giving up on them. Yes Toy Box is a world built up from the ground to parallel the events of Kingdom Hearts, but why is that? Why out of all the other worlds in KH3 was this one chosen to hold a mirror directly to Sora’s journey? Well that's simple because the story of Toy Story is at its core a story about friendship, about how bonds can last forever even if the time spent together is finite.

There is another purpose however for Why Toy Box is set up this way. Toy Box’s main role in the overall narrative of Kingdom Hearts 3 is to be a test trial for his destined clash with Master Xehanort. The main antagonist of Toy Box is Young Xehanort who split the world in two and took the toys away from Andy in order to conduct an experiment. Said experiment was to see whether or not a toy is not only capable of having a heart but if they can carry darkness. This is all done as part of the True Organization's goal to achieve their final vessel but as the world’s story progresses it becomes Clear that Young Xehanort has his own reasons for doing all this. Young Xehnaort wishes to use this experiment to validate himself. Young Xehanort is the earliest version of Xehanort and thus represents his cynical beliefs at their most immature. He believes that not only is darkness the heart’s true nature but that strength comes from isolation. That it is not bonds and connections that make a heart strong but instead the never ending darkness that is born from fighting alone. It is a fundamentally childish ideal not born from understanding but instead self serving cynicism. And that is why Young Xehnort was chosen to be the villain of this world as his childish ideals serve as the perfect test run for Sora, allowing him to confront a weaker version of Xehnort’s ideals and see just how far his own ideals can stand up against him. Ultimately Sora manages to pass the test but not without some help. In the End Woody is the one to ultimately confront Young Xehanort and Save Buzz. Using his maturity Woody is able to shut down Young Xehanort’s childish worldview and break the darkness imprisoning Buzz. So While Sora is victorious in the end it does beg the question, Is Sora truly ready to confront Master Xehanort?

Source

https://www.kh13.com/news/edge-magazine-interviews-tetsuya-nomura-and-tai-yasue-on-pixar-in-kingdom-hearts-iii-the-switch-to-unreal-engine-4-and-more-r2799/

[earthshine-moon]

Why I love AMC’s Lt Graham Gore: an essay

Full essay under the cut but here’s the intro to (hopefully) get you interested

In my humble (and completely non-obsessed 😉) opinion, AMC’s Lieutenant Graham Gore is one of the best cold boys. He is not only kind and considerate, but well-respected and liked among the other men (especially Goodsir and while that is reason enough, I wrote this anyway bc why not?). In this essay, I will exhibit why Lt Gore deserves all the love and appreciation that is possible to receive from a single fandom.

A list of special mentions are at the end of this post as well if you’re interested 💙

This is long so buckle up and hold on to your Welsh wigs, we’re going for a ride.

The first scene where we witness Gore’s personality is the boat hauling scene in episode 2. When the scene begins, it’s clear that Mr Goodsir has been talking for a little while and at first, it seems as though none of the party are really listening to him until he speaks directly to Gore. As soon as Goodsir says his name, the Lieutenant looks up at him and responds immediately despite how much effort and concentration he is clearly putting in to hauling the boat. Gore’s instant and genuine reply of “I do not, Mr Goodsir” implies that he has been listening (maybe not intently, he’s not superhuman) and knows exactly who Goodsir is talking about. On top of that, the tone of his answer gives the impression that he wasn’t giving it for the purpose of not having to converse further with Goodsir, but rather that he honestly couldn’t remember the Inuk man’s name, which shows his kindness.

Just a few seconds later in that scene, Gore stops the men as soon as Goodsir offers to take over from one of them in hauling the boat. This second immediate action indicates that he doesn’t mind taking the time to swap Hartnell with Goodsir and instruct him on how to pull the weight. (He could just be thankful for the excuse to take a little break and I love that too, so I’m cool with it being a bit of both). The fact that he has no problem with taking this time just adds to the kindness that we have already seen from him.

This leads me onto his instructions to Goodsir. He explains the technique clearly and calmly, which shows exactly how considerate and attentive he is because he gives Goodsir all the advice he needs to keep in step with the others (“watch Morfin here in front, and me with the corner of your eye”). Gore’s tone is warm and friendly throughout with a touch of reassurance seeping in as he says “you’ll take to it, I know you will”, which conveys his trust and belief in Goodsir’s ability to haul. While he’s talking, Gore’s whole body is turned towards Goodsir and he gives him a couple of little shoulder pats. (Tartnell and Peglar also give him a shoulder pat each but that’s different. I mention that again later).

(Just a little side note that has nothing to do with this but there’s a little detail in one of his lines in this scene that I love. He tells Hartnell to let Goodsir “spell [him]”. We don’t use this phrase in the UK and as far as I can tell, it’s North American. I just think it’s a lovely nod to the fact that he comes from a line of Naval officers (one of which might have picked up the phrase). Anyway, back to me rambling about how wonderful this guy is).

And now, my current favourite thing to talk about and watch: the cairn scene. Gore’s second line in this scene (“does this place make you uneasy, doctor?”) is said almost like a joke but he doesn’t walk away like you’d expect him to if it was meant in that way. Instead, he stays where he is and turns towards Goodsir as if he is waiting for an answer. At first I thought he might have stayed to hand Goodsir his ice pick (or whatever it’s called. I can’t find them anywhere) but it looks like he doesn’t go to pass it to him until he actually does. And, in case you need any more evidence, if you look closely when it cuts to the wider shot, the end of the handle is visible by the side of his leg and there’s a 2 second long pause before Goodsir speaks where he could have tried to hand the ice pick over or at least lifted it up, but he didn’t.

Gore’s response to Goodsir explaining why he shouldn’t call him Doctor is to say “that’s a doctor in my book” which signifies that he respects the work Goodsir has put in to his career so much more than most other characters (minus Dr. McDonald, of course). This response clearly shows he doesn’t believe that Goodsir is any less worthy of the title just because he hasn’t got the same training as the other ships’ doctors. Just to add to that, by giving him the title of doctor, it raises Goodsir to a higher level; one, in the eyes of other people, more deserving of respect than his actual station.

Sticking with the cairn scene (last one, I promise), Gore says “thank you” twice; one to Goodsir and the other to Des Voeux. Both are said in response to very small gestures but actually sound so genuine like they had done something more significant for him than taking his ice pick or handing him the folder-type thing (if anyone knows what this is, please let me know). As far as I can remember, there aren’t many thank yous thrown around in the show, especially not any as genuine as these.

I’ve been watching his 7 minutes of screen time so much recently and on about the 10th time, I noticed that he’s quite gentle when he touches other people. He gives friendly little pats on the shoulder or arm to Goodsir three times and to Des Voeux and Morfin once each but none of them are the sharp, quick ones you see from other characters (like Tartnell and Peglar earlier in ep2). I saw someone say on here that a lot of the cold boys subvert the stereotypes of traditional masculinity and I think this is a subtle but really sweet example of that.

And finally, on to how respected and liked he is. We only ever hear Sir John call him Graham, which is interesting because in Victorian England, Christian names weren’t something to be used lightly as they symbolised close friendship or intimacy. Crozier saying “amongst everything else, I know you mourn a friend” to Sir John after Gore’s death reinforces that. All of this is then furthered by how much Sir John clearly grieves Gore’s death along with the implied grieving of the other Erebus officers. It’s such a credit to his character to see (however brief) the pain and loss his death created among the men.

Sorry to end this on a sad note but here have a cookie 🍪 for making it to the end

And now for some special mentions (including some things about the real Lt Gore)

• the little pompom on his hat

• him helping Morfin up onto the ice ridge

• him shouting with the other men when they find the shore

• “I pray it’s English tea merchants coming from Kenton that look upon that message next”

• asking Goodsir if he’s seen something when he sees he’s looking away from the cairn (idk I just think it’s kinda sweet)

• his smile (that’s it)

And for the real Lt Gore:

• he was an accomplished artist

• Fitzjames described him as having “the sweetest of tempers”

• a gun exploded in his hand when he was shooting cockatoos in Australia for food. Ended up laid flat and all he could do was quietly say “killed the bird” (his hand was fine btw. Only a small injury)

• He was promoted to Captain in absentia by the Admiralty (before the official proclamation of the deaths of Franklin’s men)

[flagellant]

Re: God->man->God

That sublime awe (perfect words, thank you for them) is why I never understand Loveraftian horror.

I already know about the Thing that Should Not Be, bigger than our four dimensions can encompass and older than time itself

And They would recreate existence again to hear us say "I love you".

"Whom shall I fear" indeed.

My favorite cosmic horror has always been "It isn't that they are so large and incomprehensible that they do not care about us any more than you care about a single flatworm in the river muck of some Siberian woodland".

It's been "This magnificent thing which defies explanation and is so grand and big it refuses to obey such tiny concepts like physics and reality cares about us so much. It loves us. It is fascinated by us endlessly. It wants to bring us closer to it, to talk to it, to hold conversations. But it cannot understand us. And we cannot understand it. And so it is terrible and dangerous."

Cosmic horror where the haunted house loves you so completely that it creates a door to a perfectly black hallway in your living room. You can walk down it for five and a half chilly minutes. Cosmic horror where your lonely domicile is so grateful that you live within its bones that it grows new ones for you.

It flexes its wallpaper tendons. It splays its stony foundations out for you, home-liver. It takes itself and it builds a home from which you are safe from all the outside world which could harm and age you. Here in these eternal attics and parlors and boudours and stairwells, the house will love you so deeply that no one will ever see you again.

Horror which is scary because the incomprehensible doesnt care about you will always amount to nothing when you know about horror which is scary because the incomprehensible cares about you in a way which you cannot tell it you do not want.

[wutheringskies]

Wei Wuxian: The Untamed Hero

Wei Wuxian had to be killed even if:

1. He carried his sword

2. He didn't use gui dao

3. He didn't create Yin HuFu

4. The Wen remnants were not in the plot

Then, why? The reason is here, voiced by Jin Zixun of all people:

Wei WuXian, you are too bold! Did the LanlingJin Sect invite you today? And you dare run wild here. Do you really think that you’re invincible, that nobody has the courage to confront you? Do you want to overturn the Heavens?”

Wei WuXian smiled, “You’re comparing yourself to the Heavens? Excuse my language, but your face is a little too thick, isn’t it?”

So, you see, this untamed heart can only meet with tragedy as the world is unrighteous, as those who are in power think their actions cannot be contested (and they often aren't!), and that their words are like the law. How many times have we seen, a convicted powerful person escape the justice system? Far too many. And how many times innocents or victims were framed for crimes? Also too many. People like Wei Wuxian aren't condemned by fate, but rather, being born into a world where the "heavens" are those who are powerful and corrupted, he very well might be destined to live tragically, along with others of his type.

Returning to the matter of this particular scene: on one hand, the Jins throw private banquets, gilded with gold. The major scandals are: Jin Zixun is forcing the Lans to drink alcohol! You see, Lan Xichen can't outrightly refuse, so he is trying to be polite about his rejection. Jin Guangyao is trying to reason and excuse, and distract. The crowd spurs Jin Zixun on, wanting to see the Lans drink for once and fall to their level.

Everyone is in their own fine little world, doing their niceities in their golden halls drinking expensive wine, admiring pretty women, gasping at scandalous behavior, asking for favour, gossiping etc.

And then Wei Wuxian walks in. Uninvited. He simply drinks the wine himself, before demanding these people to spare him their time for real wordly issues, such as deaths, debts, cruelty, the parts that society wishes to hide. A few scenes later, we are shown with much description, just how terrible Qiongqi Path is. That's the Jin's backyard. You see their achievements that are drawn on those big walls? We see the reality of the people making them.

Now, let us come to another incident. Think of the soup incident. I fully expect before Wei Wuxian came into the scene, people were simply gossiping, uninterested in finding out what was going on, why Lady Jiang is crying. Then, Wei Wuxian comes and realizes Jiang Yanli who never really cries... was crying, and firstly decides to beat the shit out of Jin Zixuan. Secondly, he understands the whole truth, beats Jin Zixuan up for humiliating his Shijie, and also makes the other girl face responsibility.

Although his shijie had an easy temper, except for how they cuddled and cried together the day the three of them reunited after Lotus Pier was destroyed, she hadn’t really shed many tears in front of others, much less cry so loudly, so pitifully in front of so many people. Wei WuXian was filled with panic. As he tried to ask her, Jiang YanLi was crying so badly that she couldn’t even speak properly. Then, when he saw Jin ZiXuan standing on the side, astonished, he fumed with anger, wondering to himself why it was the dog of a person again. With a kick, he pounced on Jin ZiXuan. The fight between the two would have alerted the Heavens. All of the cultivators around the base came to break up their fight. Amid the ruckus, he finally understood what was the cause of all this, and became even more angered. He spread his tough talk, saying that one day he’d definitely make Jin ZiXuan die in his hands, he told people to drag out the cultivator woman.

A round of questions later, the truth emerged, and Jin ZiXuan’s entire body was frozen. No matter how much Wei WuXian continued to curse at him, he returned neither words nor fists, his face dark. If not that Jiang YanLi held up her hand a while later, while Jiang Cheng and Jin GuangShan came to pull Wei WuXian away, it was likely that even now Jin ZiXuan wouldn’t be able to attend the hunt of Phoenix Mountain.

See.

The point is, perhaps, people feel Wei Wuxian's actions are unnecessary. But imagine if he wasn't there! The consequences as I predict them will have been:

1. Jiang Cheng who doesn't want to upset a prominent clan would've grumbled and cursed underneath his breath, but eventually just moved away from the ruckus and taken his sister away.

2. Perhaps the truth would never have been found out, unless Jin Zixuan later searched by himself.

3. Thus, Jiang Yanli's reputation would be stained for the years to come.

It's because Wei Wuxian dared that the truth was revealed. I took this small incidents simply to highlight this, without the addition of more factors. In the book, often, it might seem like people are trying to stop him from creating trouble. You might often wish, ugh, this is going to be so bad... The point is Wei Wuxian knows! He's not stupid, he knows of the consequences of his actions.

But he isn't the one creating trouble. It was already created by the likes of those very people who try to stop him from investigating deeper. The trouble in question is that immoral and unrighteous words and actions and decisions have already been made. Society tries to hide them. If you can't see it, it's not there. Yet, even if it is not visible, a crime has its traces and it will bleed into their world sooner or later.

Wei Wuxian forces people to snap out of their comfort zones. He doesn't care for the barriers they set around themselves. Here are some examples to explain what I mean by these barriers:

Who dares hit Jin Zixuan, who's the only heir of LanlingJin, even when he deserves it? Protected by his status, his birth, his clan who dares? Wei Wuxian does.

Who dares to annoy Lan Wangji, the second jade of Lan, who from birth is considered otherwordly, strict, immovable, rigid, untouchable and protected by his extreme cold aura? Wei Wuxian dares.

Who dares to enter cultivation society without even wielding sword, without even cultivating a core? Wei Wuxian!

Since time unknown, treasures have belonged to the powerful sects: The Lan Clan and their library, their many secret techniques. The Jin clan and their treasures, their gold. The Nie Sabres. The Zidian. Yet, a son of a servant somehow ends up possessing the most powerful treasure all by his own! Everyone goes to this popular refinery, some famed blacksmith, or that popular sect to get specially created spiritual weapons, yet Chenqing, one of the most powerful weapons, was forged alone by Wei Wuxian during his 3 months in the Burial Mound!

Since years, the cultivation world has taken to heart rules of Lans, words of the powerful sects, and their leaders! Then, once again, this orphan child comes and bends the world and changes the cultivation society forever! Yiling Laozu said that... Yiling Laozu created... Yiling Laozu's manuscripts...

His words literally become the law.

Think of how 13 years after Wei Wuxian's death when "all was peaceful" despite us knowing very well, just how much shit happened after his death - slaughter of minor clans, deaths of two prominent sect leaders, xue yang etc (because, you know, most of it was purely accidental, kept hush-hush, or the victims were people who weren't important), he comes back to life and in a matter of a couple of months, upends the cultivation society again.

The "problem" is that this guy simply doesn't conform. The problem is that he is better. The problem is that he is not unnecessarily humble about it, despite his origins. He doesn't seem to treat himself as an outlier, but an equal. (That's why I hate insecure Wei Wuxian, like this guy is righteous enough he won't even treat himself badly.) The problem is that all those barriers - social classes, power, the locked doors - they won't keep him away.

Even if he was only the Jiang Da-shixiong with a bright golden core, he will still not be a conformist. To those who aren't used to having their decisions questioned, he is their worst enemy. To whose who are used to talking in circles, spreading rumors, he is asking them. What source do you have? What is the factual evidence behind what you are saying? Why are you saying this now?

Think of how he cross questioned a petty seller selling Yiling Laozu portraits in Qinghe, and how he questioned the gathered cultivation sects in Lotus Pier during Sisi and Bicao's intervention with the same sort of attitude. Surely, there was a major class difference, power difference between the two. Yet, they don't matter to him. What matters is the truth.

So, no matter what, when the people who are in power, start having too much dirty laundry and corpses in their backyards, he will definitely know. For this guy, knowing isn't enough - he will get to the crux of the issue. The problem is, he even has the skill for it. He has the ability. One also can't distract him with offers, promises, gifts, riches, status, women. He doesn't care for any of that. He perhaps might even hate one's victims. Yet he will stand up for them.

Of course, those who are in power, all smile at each other. They understand things sometimes have to be done. People sometimes have to be silenced. "We know better."

Then, Wei Wuxian comes in and says, actually you don't. He comes in with factual accounts, evidences, forces you to face your misdeeds. Says you're all a bunch of hypocritical people. No, perhaps what is worse is that he will make you realize that's what you are! Because he's got to be good at talking, too! He's not going to act on anger or be stunned in fear.

So, now you have someone who's not only digging into your evil deeds, someone who's capable, who's not easy to persuade, but also someone with high emotional intelligence who can play the same role as you do, of being a noble, accepted gentlemen with immaculate manners, of very high literacy and outdo you. Because this guy knows very well how society works, he can comprehend social cues perhaps better than you can. He can use your own polite words and nature against you.

It's precisely because of this he must be killed. Perhaps, in every world, Wei Wuxian will end up being the victim. It's only that in MDZS, these were the particular circumstances, and those were the particular excuses.

My personal take is: sometimes it is good to be a centrist, and hold everyone's better intentions in mind. most of the times it might not be, as there are many conflicting systems in place that allow for true victims who are stuck. most often, the victims are always the ones who DON'T have a voice, who are brushed over as numbers of corpses, rather than people with stories. most often, kindness is shown in little action that are trampled upon by those who hold true power. most often the people who are good, who are heroes die young, or are hated and ridiculed, for speaking up for the victims. it's not right, and never will be.

if someone like wei wuxian or his presence in the book makes you uncomfortable it might be because you hold the "niceities" and the pleasantries to be of more importance than the issues at hand. just because something is too troublesome doesn't mean it is wrong. if everytime he enters the scene you're scared of what he's going to do next, you should know it's not him who is the problem but the prople who aren't doing anything who are. don't be scared of "trouble-makers." he's not erratic or spontaneous. he has considered society's standards and deemed it useless. why is that that the koi tower scene, where he is in his "yiling laozu, loss of control, threatening" moment is followed immediately by him being extremely kind to Wen qing ? it's not that he's losing control. it's that Jin Zixun wouldn't have acted and told him where the people were without him using intimidation tactics. Wei Wuxian is the one forced into bad corners by the powerful people, where he has to show his edges. Don't end up twisted the narratives. if you bite someone for a while, expect to be hit.

[redxx95]

How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice

Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.

Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).

So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).

But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.

Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.

For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.

So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.

First one is the disaster-date in volume 4

Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.

The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.

Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.

Next is the argument they have in volume 8

Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.

The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.

The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.

And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:

He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.

So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.

I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.

So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.

There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.

So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)

So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?

... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨

So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)

Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.

(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)

Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.

Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.

Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)

So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.

Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".

He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.

So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.

(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)

Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:

He really knows him so well.

Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.

.

Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨

So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.

As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.

I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.

A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)

This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖

Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.

[einsteinsugly]

The primary flaws of the T7S characters.

Donna: She's temperamental and self-destructive.

Eric: He's socially awkward and lazy.

Fez: He's cowardly and creepy.

Hyde: He's emotionally detached and vengeful.

Jackie: She's selfish and judgmental.

Kelso: He's dumb and selfish.

[pr1ncessasuke]

just realized how much Kishimoto actually weaved the concept of Yin and Yang into the plot. so we know Sasuke is Moon/Yin and Naruto is Sun/Yang, right?

so, Yin/Yang symbolizes the difference in Sasuke and Naruto's solution to the war/hate problem; Sasuke wants to destroy and rebuild things from the ground up, while Naruto wants to work with the current system, both with the goal for a better future

neither solution is fully wrong nor right, and the true answer is that they're meant to come together to form a whole. this is why having Sasuke and Naruto ultimately come to a compromise is so important

but, this is where Kishimoto fumbles his symbolism. because at the end, there is no compromise. he ends up framing Naruto's solution as the correct one, by making Sasuke "lose" (although, there does seem to be some nuance, because Kishimoto doesn't quite allow Sasuke to fully surrender, keeping him traveling and away from Konoha's bureaucracy and familial expectations)

[katy-133]

Why Spy and Sniper are opposites (and why they understand each other)

(A Team Fortress 2 meta.)

I had this in my drafts half-written for a while and then felt motivated enough to finish it up after seeing @gobbogoo's excellent meta about the professionalism aspect of Sniper and Spy's relationship.

I love foil characters. In my mind, what can make a foil compelling is when the two characters are opposites in many ways, they are also, at their cores, the same in the ways that really matter. When you get right down to it.

Mechanics (Or Far vs Close)

Sniper and Spy were literally made for each other.

In-game, Sniper and Spy are designed to counter each other. The Sniper vs Spy Update introduced multiple weapons for both Sniper and Spy that were designed to undo specifically the Spy and Sniper classes. They were introduced day-by-day in a comical, "Your new toy may counter mine, but now my new toy counters that!" fashion. Sniper's Razorback shield prevents Spy backstabbing him. Spy's Ambassador allows Spy to kill Snipers wearing a Razorback, and so on.

When you play as Sniper or Spy, different gameplay styles emerge from their different strengths and weaknesses. Sniper works well at a distance, behind the rest of his team, because his primary weapons are long range. Spy works well close up because of his ability to instantly kill with backstabs. And Spy's disguises can be more convincing if he's where the enemy team is, so he works well when he's ahead of the rest of his team.

Dirty vs Clean

Sniper roughs it with his (Cosy Camper) backpack and his camper van. Spy wears Louis Vuitton suits (or rather, "Louis Crabbemarché"--TF2 universe's counterpart), as mentioned in The Naked and the Dead comic:

Sniper urinates in mason jars and throws them as a weapon (Jarate). Spy has a special knife (Your Eternal Reward) that kills so cleanly, it instantly removes the body. Spy calls Sniper "filthy" as an insult in-game. It's something to cast scorn over, to Spy.

Spy: "You disgust me, filthy jar man!"

Alone vs Together

Sniper loves his job as a sniper for RED (and BLU). His job makes him stronger when he's at a distance from his team. Therefore, while he's not totally isolated from people, he doesn't mind being alone. He works well like that when he's working.

Sniper: "I love this job. Sunshine's free, bullets are cheap, and everybody's got a head."

Spy's Rally, an alternate Meet the Spy audio recording (as I wrote before), illustrates how Spy values teamwork and believes that it goes against the natural order of life.

Spy: "Disorder, the natural state of nature, is cheap to create, costly to overcome. [...] Nature abhors a team, gentlemen. And together, we bold few, we unnatural brothers, are going to seize Mother Nature by the throat."

Sniper finds strength in being alone. Spy finds strength in being together.

Out of vs In the Spotlight

When there was a irl figurine of Sniper being sold, Valve's blog released a post written by Sniper ("Well, Now I'm a Statue", 11 December 2012). He explains that he hates that his happened, as it goes against his wantiness to stay out of the spotlight.

Sniper: "It probably wouldn't surprise you to learn that a professional assassin like myself tends to be… discrete about things. We keep to the shadows. We avoid the spotlight. We don't host bloody dinner parties, is my point, and we don't make big bloody statues in effigy to our bloody selves."

Despite being an operative who has the ability to literally turn invisible, Spy has a flair for theatrics. He likes spectacle. In Expiration Date, when Scout apologises to Spy, Spy wants him to repeat "You're better than me," line over the PA system so that all the other mercs hear it.

Inexperienced vs Experienced in Romance

Sniper is never shown to have experienced romance and it's possible he never did. Sniper, despite his character being inspired by Crocodile Dundee, an adventure romance comedy, doesn't have a love interest. Sniper's "kangaroo wife" line is a made-up insult by Soldier.

Soldier: "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife."

In Meet the Sniper, we see him call his parents when he gets access to a payphone. His parents whom he sends postcards to (we see this postcard in the Sniper vs. Spy update). And it's his parents that the Administrator threatens the safety of to keep Sniper in line. It's his parents that are Sniper's priority of keeping protected. Not a girlfriend.

As essayist Kayla explains in a video meta about the mercs' past relationships, Sniper grew up in Australia, where (in the TF2 universe) the country's culture and people value large muscles due to Australium metal exposure giving Australians super-strength, as explained in the Catch-Up comic:

Security locks are punch-based (as Saxton Hale demonstrates to Miss Pauling in The Contract comic). Kids are expected to get into fist fights with each other. Meaning that Sniper is "not attractive by conventional Australian standards" in the TF2 universe (again, observation by Kayla in the video meta).

Spy on the other hand, is characterised by his past relationship with Scout's mother and it's one of the few things we know about Spy's past. Spy has an in-game line about liking his romances "in groups of six." When Scout needs advice on asking Miss Pauling out on a date, he goes to Spy for help (keep in mind, Scout doesn't know Spy is his father at this point). He has a reputation among his team that he is experienced in romantic relationships.

Spy: "I like my teams like I like my romances: in groups of six."

Where Sniper and Spy are Similar

Being Discreet and Valuing Secrets

In the TF2 comic The Naked and the Dead, we find out that Sniper knows that Scout is Spy's son. By this point, Scout doesn't know (or is heavily in denial about it). We know Sniper knows because when Sniper and Spy come across Scout dying in a hallway, Sniper leaves Spy to have a private moment with Scout, when Spy tells Scout that he's his father (or rather, Tom Jones is his father, because Spy can't bring himself to tell the whole truth).

Sniper is discreet in leaving them alone, because he never explicitly says that he knows (or what he knows) in that scene. It's mainly left unspoken. He only says one word, and Spy knows what's he's going to say. And Sniper chooses to leave because he knows that this secret is important to Spy and Scout.

Spy ability to be discreet and valuing secrets inherently comes with his job. His disguises only work as much as his ability to act like the person he's pretending to be. Spy also values the secret of his identity so much that we don't ever see him without his mask. The SFM model of Spy mask less (where we see he has hair) is a fan-made model that the fandom has collectively accepted. It has not been shown in any official Valve works. In Meet the Spy, he's always wearing his mask in the various Top Secret photos. There's also a Miss Pauling contract line for Spy in-game where she tells him that he should wash his mask. He canonically doesn't take it off.

Miss Pauling: "Spy, just between you and me, you should really wash that ski mask. Like once. There's visible stink lines coming off that thing. Anyway, I need a favor."

Kinda ironic, since Spy values cleanliness.

Are Both Willing to Put Themselves in Danger to Save One Another

Despite their differences, when they're on the same team (or even when they're still on opposite teams but have come together against a greater enemy, like in Mann vs Machine), Sniper and Spy can work together to save each other.

In the comics (The Naked and the Dead), Spy gets shot in the leg and is about to be killed by Classic Sniper (from the first Team Fortress game) while trying to infiltrate a building to save his team, but is saved by Sniper.

To do this, Sniper had to run up several flights of stairs, break down a door, crash through a window, scale the side of a building, and then climb silently into the room Spy was in. While naked and bleeding. Sniper was willing to put himself at great personal risk to save Spy.

They Both Experienced Loneliness Just Before Joining RED/BLU

I imagine that, one day, Sniper and Spy will figure out that they are not so different. If they knew about each other's pasts, they would notice a certain similarity.

Sniper's backstory (his description on TF2's website) is that he was a "tracker of dangerous game" in Australia. He would have spent a long time on his own, in the wilderness, isolated from people. He lived on a farm with his parents, not in the cities. In the comics (Blood in the Water), Sniper explains that he grew up with kids who wanted to fist fight, while he would climb up trees out of their reach and throw stones at them. He didn't fit in.

He calls his parents in Meet the Sniper, but they don't like the line of work he's in. Which upsets him, because he wants their approval.

Spy's backstory is that he had a love, Scout's mother, and ran away from her. We don't know the details of why. But we do know that he and her are still on good terms. Spy and her are seen together in Valve's promo animation for the Second Annual Saxxy Awards:

Spy appears to still love her, as at the end of Meet the Spy, he takes one of the photos of them together. Notably, the most chaste photo of the pile--it's of the two of them holding hands, walking away together.

I think that's insight on what he would have wanted in another timeline. But he ran away on his own, leaving a woman he loved (and still loves) as well as his baby son. He left his family.

This is what their lives were like before the Gravel War.

It's also worth noting that they both joined RED/BLU. They all chose a line of work that many would not, and this gives us insight into their character. Whether it was for the money, or for the chance to fight, or to combat loneliness, both Sniper and Spy found themselves working for RED/BLU.

In Conclusion

Sniper and Spy are opposites in many ways, but when you get right down to it, their cores are the same.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Zeb Wells was never, ever QUALIFIED to write for Spider-Man. As in, if I was hiriing for the job of Spider-Man writer, he'd never have even made it to the interview stage.

See, I'm an old geezer Spider-Man fan. I was there back in the early-mid 2000s when Wells first came onto the Spider-Man scene. That was when he was younger, fresher, more full of energy and less cynical. And even then his stories were mediocre at best, mercifully confined merely to fill-in issues here and there.

Fill-in issues that weren't even on ASM but on the side-books like Peter Parker: Spider-Man and dubiously canonical anthologies like Spider-Man's Tangled Web. Beyond that, he did occassional mini-series and one shots.

His ONE legitimately good story was the origin of J. Jonah Jameson, a single issue in which Spider-Man himself barely ever appeared. That was around 2004(ish). Zeb Wells unironically peaked on Spider-Man 20 years ago and it wasn't even a particularly high peak either. It was more like a small hillock.

Sure, he finally got to write ASM between 2008-2010 during Brand New Day, but like...who DIDN'T get to write ASM back then? It was coming out 3 times a month with a rotating creative team, amongst which Wells was never touted as one of the superstar writers. Love or hate them, Dan Slott, Mark Waid, Joe Kelly, Bob Gale, and even an out of retirement Roger Stern were who the Marvel promotional machine hyped up. Again, love or hate them, back in 2008-2010 these were BIG names to suddenly be working on Spider-Man. In other words, when Wells finally got 'promoted' he was essentially a mere fill-in writer AGAIN.

That being said, he did get one really big chance to bat when he was tasked with doing the biggest Lizard story of all time, 'Shed'. Reinventing a classic Lee/Ditko villain. Leading directly into Grim Hunt, the storyline that was the culmination of much of what BND had been building towards? Writing a story that was going to be one of the last in the BND era in fact? This was Zeb Wells' shot to make a name for himself in the annals of Spider-Man History.

And he succeeded! By which I mean 'Shed' was debated as potentially one of the all time WORST Spider-Man stories ever, and unquestionably the worst Lizard story there had ever been.

Shed was to Curt Connors what One More Day was to Peter Parker. A nonsensical plot geared towards a complete and utter character assassination. We are talking about a story with cannibalism, fratricide, potential sexual assault, vomit inducing art and egregious continuity fuck ups to the point where even the very first Lizard story directly contradicts it. This story was SO bad that even a manchild crybully troll like Dan Slott tried to walk it back, doing no less than 2 stories across 5(ish) years in which he cleaned up some of the mess Wells had left. Further repairs were applied during Nick Spencer's run, in particular during 'Hunted'. Yes, 'Shed' was so godforsakenly terrible it took multiple stories across almost 10 years to fix it.

THIS was the guy Marvel picked to be the 'main writer' during the Ben Reilly Beyond era, aka Brand New Day 2. His 'promotion' was to be brought out of Spider-Man writer's jail (where he belonged) so he could once more be the rotating writer in a tri-monthly set up. Except now he was to BND2 what I guess Dan Slott had been to BND1.

The difference being that BND1 had more writers and many/most of them had WAY more status to their names than any of the BND2 writers. Like, it is ridiculous to suggest Kelly Thompson or Saladin Ahmed in 2021 were anywhere near the Big Name status Mark Waid or Joe Kelly enjoyed in 2008. Even Slott back then, who hadn't yet become AS big as he would later (undeservedly) be, was still someone most of the fanbase had WANTED to write for Spider-Man for a good long while before then.* Wells was now simply swimming in a much smaller pond, his seniority being the microscopic edge he had over Thompson and Ahmed.

And yet, Chip Zdarsky when he took over Spectacular Spider-Man had way less experience than Wells had with the character. Nick Spencer too, he'd mostly just written a great mini-series in Superior Foes of Spider-Man. And of course, Roberto Aguirre Sacasa had never written Spider-Man when he was hired in 2006. Neither had Paul Jenkins in 2000. Neither had JMS in 2001. Love it or hate it, Marvel are not opposed to hiring new blood, untested blood even, for ASM or other monthly Spider-Man titles.

So, you have to wonder, why DIDN'T the younger guns Kelly Thompson , Saladin Ahmed or any other fresh blood take over after the Beyond era? Why CHOOSE Wells when he's been hanging around the block for about 20 years?

Incompetence? Yes...but also because it is patently obvious that NO ONE ELSE WANTED THIS JOB!

Wells was not hired because of his talent. He was hired because Marvel were DESPERATE. As they say, any port in a storm, right?

Because of their dogmatic enforcement of the post-One More Day state of affairs, because of how they treated Nick Spencer as a result of that, because of their general incompetence in running their entire company for the past 15+ years, Marvel have burned their bridges with too many creators. The anti-OMD writers don't want the job because they naturally want to undo OMD. The pro-OMD/neutral writers don't want the job because the fanbase naturally will yell at them for enforcing the post-OMD status quo. And neither want the job because the blatant interference Nick Spencer endured is gross and not worth the hassle, not when substack, indie and possibly even other editorial departments at Marvel/DC are options for them.

Shit, when you really think about it, Zeb Wells isn't the fundamental problem. He is just the latest symptom of it.

*Not me. In 2008 I wasn't opposed to Slott writing ASM per se. But his work on She-Hulk and Spidey-Torch, whilst good in their own right, hadn't hypnotised me into thinking he was obviously be a great fit for ASM. Unfortunately, most people were hypnotised.