#hm no i probably will need it a lot
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ms paint gideon to test my new laptop's palm sensitivity + stylus functionality (poor and acceptable respectively, if you wondered)
#tlt#the locked tomb#gtn#gideon the ninth#gideon nav#tlt art#anyway. as you can see by the time i got to her shirt i gave up entirely on filling things in properly#i don't think she'd mind though#i got this laptop for school - which i start the day after tomorrow - and i've never like. used a laptop for note taking#i'm trying to test all possibilities before school starts but costco's return policy is decent so i'm not too worried#the thing is. i think i like the laptop itself quite a bit.#but i'm like what if i don't end up using it for school that much... i got it with scholarshare or whatever#hm no i probably will need it a lot#even if i don't use it for notes taken in class it'll still be needed for research and homework and stuff#so yes i think it was a good investment#it's the hp envy if anyone wondered lol#it gets a bit warmer than i'm used to and the fans are louder than i'm used to as well#but as long as it runs well i guess that's not really an issue? i hope not anyway#i have yet to look into whether that's a problem with these laptops#if anyone has pointers let me know haha#oh yeah also i did this with my blue light filter on so hopefully the colors aren't too miserable but if they are. i apologize#i mean it's all reds so there's not much to mess up but just in case#finieldraws
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rough day...
#i might come back and color this. Eventually....#scribbled this after a busy day of lots of moving things into storage and hauling boxes around#i felt a bit like a workhorse!#at some point i sat down on the uhaul w/ my water and thought. Wow. How Does Eddie Manage#poor guy deserves a break...#he needs a day off smh#i mean the neighborhood would fall apart w/o him probably but still. he needs a vacation!#he works too hard! someone tell him to prioritize himself for once!#scribble garnish#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#eddie dear#alrighty well its 12 am i need to get up in less than 6 hours and i still have Several Things To Do before i can sleep!#so! queuing this and getting those last chores done#wait fuck. what where they#well! i'll remember when i get up to do them! probably!#yknow 7 hours into tomorrow's drive im gonna be like OH FUCK I FORGOT THE [insert task here]#oh. shit did i eat dinner? hm... im not gonna be ready for breakfast when i wake up#so i might as well add 'quick cup of noodles' onto tonight's Before-Sleep list....#im rambling! sorry!#anyway i have Much affection for eddie! somebody get him a spa day and some shiny new stamps!!!
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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Every time the crystalised discussion on twitter comes back and they get to Lloyd's issues with his father i want to freaking rip my hair out
"Lloyd's in the wrong" "Lloyd was an ass" (<something I literally just saw)
God forbid a child hurt by their parent BE HURT. BE UPSET.
#LLOYD was an ass???? um. have you seen his father?????#i hate it so much i hate it so much i hate it so much#i want to throw up#why do you people not get it#do you need to have a shitty parent yourself to get it.#my mum has never tried to kill me but i get it !!#i WISH i could go off at her like lloyd did!#or wohld i be an ass for that too? hm?#despite the years of hurt caused? hm?#shut the hell up all of you i#this is so stupid to be angry about but lloyd being allowed to br angry at his dad meant a lot to me#this feels so relatable to me#so personal#why do people refuse to see that lloyd has been hurt by his fathers actions again and again#him having issues woth his father isnt even new to crystalised!#remember in s4 when je said something about 'walking out on us again'???#nooo probably not because that man is aaaaalways perfect and the best ever!#i dont know where im going with this im just upset and annoyed and this always happens#i need to continue getting readynfor work.#ignore me#vent#i guess.
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time for clones
#hm i should make an original art tag#star wars#sw ocs#clone oc#clone trooper oc#cc mirror#cc beetle#cc watch#cc learn#my ocs#they don't work with any specific battalion or place or commander. they show up wherever they're needed.#and they do more than just the stuff listed there that's just like. their favorite specialties.#not 100% sure on beetle's armor paint. looks too simple to me. b ut I know not every clone is so colorful#he is long distance besties with kix. btw. i'm having kix tell him about the chips. so they can remove them before shit goes to fuck#watch's hair is that bright to make him easy to find. he definitely gets sidetracked and wanders off a lot#yes mirror's name is mirror because he does everything mirrored due to being left-handed#yes i know clones are probably trained to be ambidextrous. but he still favours his left more.#he might look serious but he's actually pretty chill. he gives his squad permission to be weirdos.#if the helmets and armor don't match that's because i lost my colors and had already fused the helmet's layers. a mistake i keep making
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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> solas post
> caption: trash horrible awful egg man 🥚🥚🥚🥚 i'm gonna GET him!! he's so fucking full of himself and evil and ugh he's so UGLY why do i like him??? i can fix him 💕 love him
😐
#fandom critical#posts that are going to get me blocked probably#not a vague at dash this has been on my mind for a while#im starting to think some of his fans don't actually like him all that much they just like being mad#i'm complaining too much today i need to eat#like i get being upset especially abt the breakup#i've spat a few insults in poor taste at him myself#but this seems to be the primary way some fans engage with him#& its just disheartening to see because well believe it or not i actually like the guy#we love and want to care for solas in this house#'he's not real he's not gonna see this' it's about the spirit of it. it's about the vibes you put out into the world#also like... hm. i share a LOT of flaws with him and i uh. can't help but take it a little personally
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the challenge of i should commission art of my ocs. would love to commission like, siiyr or bokrae, maybe krachyn or jula. siiyr or bokrae would make the most sense, maybe krachyn. i think theyre the ones with the most detailed notes on their anatomy
but also
oh god i cannot subject another artist to the anatomical war crimes i committed in making these ocs
#toy txt post#ig id be best off commissioning someone w a lot experience w like. centaurs. let alone commisioning them actually doing anything#interesting. the good bad news is ai cant do it either. fucking i cant even do it. why did i make these bitches. i gave bokrae a gf#but shes not. she cant even. her lips dont really do a kiss shape shes all teeth#siiyr has too many fucking elbows and a weird skull situation#bokraes skull continues to break my brain. i think it does break physics in universe. birdie did weird shit w that eye#its constantly trying to explode#the art ideas i have for bokrae and siiyr have plagued me for years even now in my depression funk of no new ideas#i cant bring myself to subject other artists to them?????#i should specify Bokrae's teeth more tho probably. i used to jokingly explain it away as she has all the teeth/they change#and. they do. canonically birdie has to replace all of her bones over time especially her skull. but also#that was me being lazyyyyyyyyyyyy#idk i know you dont necessarily need like a super detailed ref sheet to commission things but like. if i was commissioning my own ocs id#want that probably?#maybe i will try to draw the girls today. probably not doing anything interesting#bc i have not drawn for One Billion Years and im out of practice with Normal Human Anatomy let alone#these fucking Monsters#also maybe one day ill figure out Jared#pigeon head on a deaths head moth body with gemstone eyes is something i can see in my head but when i try to draw it it doesnt look right#so. need to work on that? the main thing about jared is that he needs to Scuttle#and id like to incorporate a pigeon#hm#hmmmmmmm
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i dont trust any big scale production of animal products but i think free range organic eggs is the best i can do cause i dont know anyone with hens that can sell me eggs on a regular basis. That would be good though if i could get in contact with a small hen farm. Also are eggs bad for you im only doing this if its good for my body nothing else
#some ppl are like eggs r so bad cholestrol etc others r like nothing is more nutrient packed and the cholestrol thing is a myth idk#I feel quite guilty about this idk if ill be able to do it#Im going to eat mussels too…feel scared to do that#I dont think im changing anything else though#Cause ive decided no dairy products and no fish and definitely no other animals#Oyesters lmao but im scared and they r alive when u eat them yuck#Also whats it called the like eggs in shrimp and fish etc#Theres a great vegan alternative but probably doesnt have the same nutrients#Its called like roe in english?#Hm i should eat more nuts and seeds also#Maybe more greens#I wonder what else#i rlly should eat fish and meat…if i reallt wanna do this..#Like i just know thats the best thing for my body#Oh yeah yeah heart diseases whatever yeah probably#But like. Some. I dont mean a lot i just mean enough to get some good iron and stuff#I feel like my hair needs red meat. Lmao#But im not going there#…#i cant..#I dont want animals to die but then im like. Its natural. Its the way of life you die so i can live#Im only considering hunting like animals from hunting now#No way im eating industrial beef
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i guess im being offered the job lol
#i didnt even have to interview????? here i was worrying about oh god going for an interview#but i guess not???#manager called me just now and was like hey i spoke w the people they want to know if you can start on these dates#like. okay???????#theres a week of training for me to do and then the following week id start at thee job#like an idiot as i was saying bye on the phone i only remembered then that i should have asked if it was PAID training ugh.#im assuming so . but maybe not. idk#im gonna call him back on monday to give my answer#this is it.... i may finally be free of the annoying people....#but like anything i have my trepidations. bc who know if itll work out#well thats life. as the song goes#fortunately im still within the timeframe to change the amount for my commuter benefits pretax card thing#bc the monthly pass id need for the new job#costs like less than half of what i pay now for the bus to ny#crazyyyyy. anyway i gotta do that if i decide to take the job#its more money (a little. but still more. ok its like a dollar and 4 cents more. which not a lot but still)#i get more sleepytime (always good) and im saving on commuting#plus ill only have to pay nj (and federal) taxes. instead of also paying ny yay. thats good#sorry again weighing the pros and cons onstage here#UH. what else#well a shorter commute is good but it means less reading/music listening time#although ive only resumed reading recently lol#idk. well then i could read at home and not worry about my books getting messed up#these past couple weeks ive been :( that the like 70-something year old paperback ive been taking is getting a bit rougher#only a little. but yesterday it got a bit wet bc my bag got soaked in the rain#why am i taking a super old book to work well i dont know what to tell you we have some old books#ok getting off topic. everything seems good about the new job so fuck dude i guess ill go for it#finally free of the stupid people here.... on to new stupid people (undoubtedly)#well it's probably all good then but unfortunately i always worry what if it isnt. hm
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i havent like, read enough to have a fully formed opinion but sth about the concept of "transnormativity" really irks me
#i mean i'm similarly irked by homonormativity bc its like.. its just heteronormativity we dont need to call it sth else lmao#but i should probably like. read more i'm just#hm. sitting a lot w warner/berlants definition of heteronormativity and being like yeah i think maybe we lost the plot a little if we're#trotting out transnormativity
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for some reason i only recently realized another fun aspect of bellum x linebeck, that being at its core it’s kind of like what if a sea captain fell in love with the kraken and vice versa
#salty talks#bellum x linebeck#yknow.#probably as like. seafaring story as it gets consider i dont really dabble in that very much#i could just make an au with em based on that simple concept. its an interesting one#like some lone sea captain secretly just having this huge scary sea monster as a protector and companion#hm this goes hard.#also the sea monster/kraken for whatever reason likes him and its like… why what does it see why does it feel this way and act this way#god just rhe concept seperate from the ship goes hard i might have to make a lil bellum x linebeck au with this#i dont have a lot of just ship aus. i need to make one for damibeck
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AND I COME HOME TO AN EMAIL FROM AO3 WHERE SOMEONE HAS CALLED THE LIGHT BETWEEN THE LINES THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND DETAILED AU THEYVE EVER READ… COMMENTER I GIVE U KISS!!!!
#if u would like one#i’m not responding til tomorrow i need to roll around in the good feelings for a little while#does anybody else feel like once u respond to a comment it’s like. hm . how do i phrase this not-badly#it disappears from my forebrain and is no longer like a magical smell for the gross little dog i am at heart to roll around in#it’s just a normal compliment. WHICH IS LOVELY. TO BE CLEAR#but once i respond i can’t wear it as a blanket. emotionally…#i gotta cricket my feet abt it for a while before i make it something Of This World#this is possibly one of the most neurodivergent posts i’ve Ever Made#which is saying a lot given the state of my blog#anyways if it takes me ages to respond to a comment it’s probably bc i am using it as a fucking . emotional duvet
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OMG my mom is discovering Sherlock "with Bilbo Baggins! and Dr. Strange" right now in 2023
#sherlock#fandom#tbh she kinda might like it bc shes into murder TV shows#now that she watches criminal minds i do think she likes more complicated stuff too#but sherlock still needs a lot more attention than murder she wrote. probably. never watched.#tv shows#i said this#i told her it was a big fandom show back in the day and she was like 'hm well they do have a pretty good lineup with bilbo baggins'#if only u knew mom...
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I decided to dip my toes into sci-fi for my short story class, and, uh, I guess I Knocked it Out of the Fucking Park, just nailed it, on writing an unsettling little piece about a kid.
I mean, my intent was sci-fi. I was writing about aliens on a spaceship. But people have interpreted it in a variety of other interesting ways. That’s besides the point.
So like. Cool. I now have a home run piece that I’m gonna look into publishing in, like, I dunno a magazine or smth. It’s only 3 pages in word. Cannot emphasize enough how all over this story people were.
So that was the first assignment.
What the hell do I do for my second assignment.
#mobbtalks#I um. didn’t expect this problem.#I was just gonna keep workshopping my first piece.#but Here We Are.#hm. mnmmm. do I. should I keep going with the scifi or like#do I wanna be the creepy sci fi guy#not as in I am a creep but as in the raving reviews were ���horrifying’ ‘creeped me the hell out’ ‘you’re afraid of spiders and you wrote THAT#‘when I read the first line I was like No you need to Earn a line like that. by page three you had earned it’ (the first line is unsettling)#I’m not sharing bc. publishing(???) but like yeah no yeah no yeah#‘the way you described (moment) really physically put me there in the action. I did not want to be there. you did great’#this feels like a lot of pressure#over what is probably going to amount to nothing. anyway
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