#I dont want animals to die but then im like. Its natural. Its the way of life you die so i can live

[sugashook]

THE FIRST PARTY SCENE, hallway and bar analysis

SO if vanessa is a representation of his heart and universe or at least half of it. and shes seeing 'a guy from work' ,and she got promoted. means his heart is doing much better, and is seeing a nice man from work.

but wade is like immediately so sad, he can't take care of his emotions. maybe his heart is like you're great but you can't handle me well by yourself. hes like im sooooo inadequate and such a failure. because his heart is being taken care of by another person he cant handle himself. like it's embarrassing and demoralizing to be like that.

and then she says...

HIS NAME IS 'DERMANN' which derived from the word 'deor' which means WILD ANIMAL OR "brave and bold" and 'mann' for man it also means being connected with nature, strong, brave, cure.

he's kind, he likes hiking and hasn't gotten her shot yet.

So a wild animalistic strong man that likes hiking and is kind. 🙆

that's the man taking care of vanessa. (if you cant tell it's basically logan but her own logan). Also Logan means hollow . So he is a hollow man and wade is like a little bouncy heart like they just fit into one another

and then theres a knock on his door

and they're telling him your wolverine, is gone. you're doomed. so he has to find his own brave man, a derman to take care of his own heart. okayyyy. he's on parallel to vanessa, he wants to be like her, that is he admires her and wants to be on her level like catching up to his heart. while the rest of him is kinda f*cked.

so he went through bars, and kept being hurt by 'the same kind of guy' but one of them seemed so broken ,soft and tender, he just takes things on, unbothered. its like logan took the wade provocation and safety test and passed.

"are you gonna take that?"

hes asking for himself. and logan says

"yep"

He needs someone to take hits for him and not be easily provoked and react emotionally. He needs a peaceful person.

And logancan take whatever wades got, liiiiike.... then wade threatens him, 'calling his bluff'. and logan leans up to the gun and smiles. like again, you dont phase me, try me. wade's life is a bit more dangerous now, he needs someone to handle higher risk games with him. oKAY they're flirting.

AND Then he grabs the gun from wade he takes control from wade and it shakes wade up, it shakes his little heart up and logan goes like "careful" AAAAAAA WITH WHO YOU POINT YOUR GUN TO AAAAAAAA (((bad man))))). hes surprising wade.

and logan not only wont get shot and get hurt and die, hes asking for it cause its nothing for him!!!!

'he can handle me' type of vibe, i think hes looking for who to give his heart to next. like hes being more picky this time, more mature, he has to be.

vanessa was kind of just a random first stripper he met and he gave her his heart (beautiful ofc wade is just a random hooker no big deal) but she cant handle him and his world. she is more like him. they're both fragile. his heart and emotions dont have a superpower.

and also + logans claws didnt work when he ' wanted to hurt wade' and wade is like ill go out of my way to provoke you into hurting me. and it still doesnt work logan rather hurts his own self and takes himself out of the danger. it must have made wade feel kinda safe.

not only is he strong he will not hurt me. Because wades heart is extremely sensitive despite his forwardness, which Is basically his kind of bluff like pf I don't even care about anyone or anything

Even if Logan is pushed he is just responding by being goofy and cute kinda 🥺 idk he's like avoidant and scared but not aggressive he's just like a pile of goo. a lil creecher.

And wade is an evil pumpkin. (yeah that changes when he gets teleported to a dumpster planet but its wade LOGAN IS A NICE GUY NOT A SAINT)

"two in the heart one in the head".....so wade gets shot twice in the heart......ok. I wonder what that means. i wonder who the two people are i really do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but whatever its hetero palship and im delusional

[lyss-sketchbox]

[arlecchino sq rant]

and ALSO the way her story quest predictably but disappointingly had no internal logic. even after the memory wiping reveal she was like "NO ONE can escape this if they betray me hoho hehe this is totally successfully written" UNTIL it came to our three playables!! they get a choice, not even just Lyney as the supposed successor! Why involve them then? Why not make a quest mostly about uninteresting npcs like you so love doing? WHO APPROVED THIS

...at least the other animated short, with the twins, is so good

Tbh i dont have any specific gripe with arle's SQ, it's good enough

What i like about it :

Fatui trio dynamic and quirks when they interact with each other (fist bump, natural role division when they scheme, etc.)

Lyney's conviction about 'this is my family, i will protect them with my life' is SHOWN instead of TOLD multiple times (planned the scheming, trying hard to help clervie, stepping up to fight Arle)

The MAIN FOCUSED character initiated the plot instead of 'oh hello random npc i've never met OF COURSE i'll help you'

Arle and Childe dynamic (talks about family growing up, mutual agreement that regrator sucks), feels natural, childe naturally believing rumours easier and arle cautiously choosing her words to mold how people perceive her even in leisure

Alre's strict principles well established (traitors must be punished, all support/sacrifices will be rewarded) it is obvious she works for her goals alone, she joins factions and alliances because she establishes equal trades regardless of which side you fight for.

She clearly don't want to be like Crucabena because she was once her child, and while that doesn't fully explain why she 'cares' about the House, i can excuse that Clervie atleast influenced her in some way so that her children has the freedom to choose the life they wish to live (referring to Clervie's only freedom then is to choose to die)

What i don't like :

The entire facking backstory spoiled in the animation for pity points and/or marketing

Deux ex machina in the form of khanerian crimson moon descendant so her flames can just... anchor people's dying shadow to the world???? sometimes????? plus clervie died when she is 16 and for some reason the shadow is 10 because.........?

Her flames has memory powers also so that she can just choose to make people forget memories of the House

Also look, i get that it's her answer to children who wants choose the life they want, its a magical fantasy world okay pog. But like... so are you saying that these children who forget their House memories just.... get handed a life? a house? a new identity? are people not gonna question why new people are suddenly popping up in their neighborhood? is the government in on it so that they can basically gaslight people that 'ah yes this former fatui person is now your neighbor, has always been!! mhm yeah'?? This is some irminsul level world deletion but manmade??????????

Look its a good premise, it just.... half-bad execution. I get what theyre trying to tell but they are patching the loopholes with magical tissue paper. Its... a lil too easy i think, too hand-wavy. If it was a magic spell to make them forget then they were set to live in a different area and helped gradually to integrate to society, its a lil better. But like... EVEN in the story quest those people who took the bottled flames took a full 2 DAYS to reintegrate to society the SAME society they operated as fatuis in, no issues whatsoever.

While my original gripe is just that the animations shouldve dropped a couple days after the SQ (like how genshin usually post cutscenes a few days after the quest), the more i look into it the more im just squinting at this

[the-s1lly-corner]

I want to request like. A cuddling session with Slenderman, who is having a bad day and we comfort him

(つ≧▽≦)つ

I'm addicted to the idea of him pretending to be okay with people calling him monster, but deep down he has this longing for it to stop, since he wanted to get along with the proxies and others he deemed second family.

So he like, rant about his day while reader comfort him.

Maybe get him a little fluster aswell （〜^∇^ )〜

(Take your time and have a good day/night)

All Entwined in One Web

obligatory im stuck in the 2015 era of the creepypasta fandom and ive been mulling over this sort of approach in my head for the past month because i revisited an old slenderman x oc fanfic that had a death grip on me and shaped the way i will interact with + and consume creepypasta stuff for the sake of saving grace and not revealing HOW cringe i was im not going to drop the fanfic name (unless yall dm me because!! i still wanna support the author even if it seems theyre inactive now!) i blame this author for making me a demon sympathizer/j/lh written kinda different than my basic bullet list of hcs! got silly with this one, sorry if its jarring compared to my usual stuff </3 this post is mostly just my hc on like. slender (and by extension all demon characters) being neutral and a simple part of nature that stems from zalgo (yay im finally dropping zalgo lore for my au since he functions differently in my au/hc!!) so take this with a HUGE grain of salt since i feel this deters from the main take people use (that ive seen, at least) this one ended up being more.. sad than i first intended and imma be honest i kinda got into my feelings when i was writing this anywaus i hope this isnt too cringe since i dont talk much about my HUGEhcs/au stuff/rewritten stuff so!! plus i dont usually write BIG detailed stuff like this sobsob tldr; slenderman isnt good or evil hes just a neutral piece of nature in the world and hes trying to cope with it. the demon gods really fucked up by making him sentient and able to process human like emotions

death is a force of nature and people curse it for simply being a part of life; people curse wild animals for being, and people will curse the weather

in this universe, or timeline, demons exist in a similar manner. slenderman exists simply because hes a part of that huge web of nature. of course, that includes every single ugly instinct that humans hate so so much. and he can understand why, even if its his nature.

the one responsible for that web, is zalgo. the beginning and end of everything. neither alive nor dead, all demons stem from zalgo in one way or another.

a solitary creature that prefers to stay alone in the comfort of its home, it doesnt tend to reach out to harm others unless theres harm. only really attacking people that threaten to expose it or get too close...

except, you... you were the one exception. regardless of how you managed to worm yourself into his heart, and become his lifelong companion, hes grateful for your presence when things begin to build up.

he knows that in the eyes of others, he ugly and vile, but he knows that ultimately thats what protects him. he insists that its better this way, sticking to the forest away from the prying eyes.

SURE, he could follow in his brothers footsteps and make a false human body and try to blend in with the people. but is that really efficient? is that really something he wants? hes a powerful being but that would eventually take its toll on him..

ultimately he resigns himself into your arms; once oozing powerful and command, now crumpled and curled.

he never had a childhood, when zalgo created him, he simply.

was

no adolescence, no developing, no growing. he was always what he was meant to be, but he likes to think that when youre holding him, that this is what it feels like to be so small and vulnerable.

humans had it so easy, hed think. theyre born and they die and the process repeats itself for everyone. they dont have to be feared or hated, or kill to survive.

yes, to him, being mortal was far more preferable to being condemned to being a lonely hermit who corrupts and breaks everything it touches.

even with your comfort, theres only so much that you can do; youll eventually pass on as well and hell be stuck in his cycle once more

but for now, as you hum softly and whisper nothings to him as you let him crumble; hell let himself weep just this once.

because as much as he envies your life, and what humans have, he cant deny that he cant bring himself to truly hate them, because like him, theyre simply a piece of natures web.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. HIIII good evening <3 holding microphone up to u. i would love ur scion thoughts post-interlude!! if u have any!! i know u have Opinions on him i wanna know how the redstringing's going!!!!

OH DUDE I HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY FUCKING OPINIONS. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK . WAS NOT EXPECTING 2 LEARN THIS INFORMATION WHEN I WAS TIPSY ON CLOWN WINE AT MIDNIGHT BUT ALAS HERE WE FUCKING ARE I GUESS. CASUAL WORM READING EXPERIENCE. FUCK

okay okay okay oka. that interlude was so fucking good it both answered some of my questions and also gave me SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS. as soon as kevin started talking about being the most powerful man in the world i KNEW. i KNEW it was gonna be some scion bullshit. at first i thought it was gonna be like some... witch from beauty and the beast bullshit where he Was Actually scion just. posing as an eccentric homeless guy out of costume. which would have disappointed me i think because i am so dead set on scion Not Being Human.

WHICH. I FEEL SO STRONGLY IN MY HEART THIS CHAPTER SUPPORTED SO WELL. when they described how Simurgh first appeared floating motionless over a city. dude. dude. my first fucking thought with that was "hey that sounds like what people say about scion." he doesnt speak. his face never moves. hes extremely powerful, so far the only person powerful to drive away the endbringers. he's GOTTA be the same type of thing they are. not human, never was human, but for some reason he Looks Human. like... simurgh does too, but shes still huge and has weird proportions and the wings. scion as far as i know is normal sized and looks mostly human besides being gold. i havent figured that out yet

having a LOT OF FEELINGS about . the whole reason scion does what he does is because some miserable man with a heart of gold told him to. side note i reallyyyy really got attached to kevin i liked him a lot :( that brings into question SO MANY fucking things about the endbringers. this is full on mac ghostiezone game theory moment at this point but. i dont know where they came from, but it seems like at their first appearance they were... susceptible to orders? and this just happened to be an extremely lucky right place at the right time moment. I cant even imagine a world where scion wasnt a "hero" and was instead a force of destruction like the endbringers. which brings up the question... did anyone else try to talk to the endbringers at their first appearances? i cant IMAGINE anyone would willingly go near leviathan or behemoth considering their more monstrous dangerous appearance . but what about simurgh? im acting on the assumption that the endbringers are some sort of Creation and i dont know what their purpose is but either option 1: someone DID talk to the other 3 and it was someone with extremely bad intentions and gave them the orders to become what they are now or option 2: nobody said shit to them and theyre acting on base instinct????? idk. im viewing the endbringers more like. animals or natual disasters than anything and i dont know if thats exactly correct to do but its how my brain works. so.

the big difference between them is that... scion acts with a Goal, where the endbringers seem more like forces of nature that dont really act with any sort of. purpose. simurgh is the exception to this though since she went out of her way to obscure the information about power origins from reaching dragon and also the way she acts makes it seem like... she Knows something. i dont know i still have sooo many questions.

im REALLY worried about whats gonna happen now that kevin gave him the new order to kill. im really worried its gonna be like a monkeys paw situation where... maybe one or all of the endbringers will die, but then what the fuck does he do after that. come back to whats her name (is it lisette?) for more orders? theres no guarantee lisette will be anywhere near as. idk. selfless? as kevin? that feels wrong. idk. she seemed scared of that situation and didnt want the responsibility placed on her so what if she avoids it and never gives scion any other orders???? will he just fall back on old programming and start killing other "bad" things???? is THIS how the fucking apocalypse starts. this has gotta be connected to the apocalypse in some way i can feel it in my bones. scion with kill orders makes me feel crazy.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Tim - Travle

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/uvAi4k0 by Thefrogcouncilsitsinjudgment bruce has just died. like you know how all other major characters "die". Tim knows he obviously isn't dead. to bad that his family sucks at grief management. the time travel is inspired by interstellar - if you want to watch the movie than watch Neil explain the 3 dimensions firstly. thats a game changer with not so many options left of, ignore Bruces probably not dead status or safe the idiot by teaming up with rather questionable co-workers he takes the secret third option. time travel. as one does. traveling back its only natural to go back before Jason dies. well he miscalculated and Jason is already six feet under; and sadly not already zombified but still getting eaten by fungi. so what now? stranded in way back Tim runs through Gotham, helps bruce with his problematic bachelor life and gets his family some peace and quite that they deserve. choosing the name of "cardinal" acting as the family's personal guardian angle from the shadows of Gothams helping hands. Words: 6849, Chapters: 4/?, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), DCU (Comics) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: M/M Characters: Tim Drake (DCU), Tim Drake's Parents, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd Relationships: Tim Drake/Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Batfamily Members & Tim Drake (DCU), Janet Drake & Tim Drake Additional Tags: the women of the batfamily get mentioned but I dont know them to well, Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Dimension Travel, Tim Drake-centric (DCU), Baby Tim Drake, minor character death both canonical and not canonical, im not to familiar with all of the canon so "canon divergencies", Hurt/Comfort, Tim drake is loyal af, is it homicide if you kill your alternative self?, unternet suit-inspired, authors native language isn't English-deal with it, bruce Waynes copying mechanisms suck, nobody in this family is mentally well, but they are trying, Character Study, so no complaints because something isn't right, Gotham is alive in a phantom way, soul companions (animal shape your soul can turn into because I like the concept), Tim Drake is Bad at Feelings, Unreliable Narrator Tim Drake, its probably gonna turn out okay in the end (its 50 / 50), I wrote this while procrastinating dont expect to much, I also wrote this for my self y'all only got invites to enjoy the show alongside read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/uvAi4k0

[gomacave]

criticisms of kk m women under cuttt

i keep thinking how the series is kinda ruthless (really cruel) to rhe women not directly but like. Thru the roles they keep in the narrative. Like its reallycruel that celi was appointed by shinou essentially to jusy give birth like idk about his grand scheme but he didnt want her for her or her ability to make decisions he (and the story) just needed her in a place where she could pop out babies for the events of the story. Ik she’s supposed to havw suffered from her lack of control and its framed that way but its stilla pretty cruel thing. Only woman king and shes essentially just a baby carrier + they deprived her of even the ability to be fully king w stoffel acting as regent

and then theres julia whos only role in the series was to die. Basically. And look sad. To propel the series into motion by dying. Shinou literally says (ig hes evil shinou so its debatable) that she was too pure n the reason why it had to be yuuri was his unique sense of mundane human-ness. She was quite literally textually just a stepping stone to get to yuuri (final product) amd she couldve died naturally and yuuri still would habe been borm lmao. She was essentially told by shinou that we need to fast forward so yr life ur decisions ur individuality we r going to throw. And it was framed as noble to listen 💀 like conrad was like i wasmt gonna stop her… it was her duty…. Like did yall ever stop to think maybw listening to ur god king forever for everything is neutering ur nation. anyways i have thoughts on the current day events and conflicts beinf build on the pain of women to propel the male characters forward

anissina is insignificant story wise (at least in the anime comparitively to celi and julia) so i dont rlly count her but even shes reduced to a gag character lmao she never gets to fight or make important decisions or exist when the story does not need her for a quirky invention + i guess flynn is the only one to break this rule (really) but even her writing is kinda lackluster for me

anywyas. Um. I know nobody expects a serious analysis of this show but ive been thinking oanf oh man shinou + the story writing is pretty mean to women. What im saying is people should start ignoring shinou. If i were to rewrite the series i would probably center the main conflict around learning to build a nation separate from a dead king and his divine right and bloodlines and whatnot.

[narzissenkreuz-ordo]

prerelationship 6, general 3, love 5 and 13? :3

dont not perceive me-

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

neuvi would simply deny it, not because he's embarrassed but in the moment he literally doesn't think it would be possible for him to have a soulmate. This leads to another internal debate about the meaning of his existence like: He is a dragon so if he did have a soulmate to would have to be another dragon right? but there are very few dragons left in teyvat so statistically he would not have a soulmate. but also he WAS born in human form so he's not quite a dragon but not quiet human either so would that mean if he were to have a soulmate it would be more likely for them to be human? he thinks about this for the next 3 days and comes to the conclusion that "i am the chief justice of fontaine and have to remain impartial, but would consider timekeeper silvanus to be 'small and cute'" silvanus simply says 'impossible. i dont have time for that' and immediately starts ranting about all the things that need to be done today

3. What was their first kiss like?

oh my god. oh my od you cant do this to me im gonna die ive had two ideas abt this that are both equally as embarrassing the first idea being one of the many times neuvi is there to look after silvanus after she gets sick and during these visits they both start getting hit by their subconscious feelings, trying so hard to shove those thoughts back down while acting Normal. but it makes them both so fucking nervously awkward but one too many fleeting touches breaks them both down and theyre staring at each other like panicked creatures unable to break eye contact until silvie goes 'fuck it' and goes for it without realizing she just grabbed her wet and pathetic looking boss by his face and kissed him LMAO the second idea one follows the first one but instead of silvie kissing him in that moment theyre both like 'oh i like you and you also like me' and they talk abt their confused thoughts and feelings and neuvi decides he needs some time to understand his own emotions now knowing that silvanus also thinking of him this way but also if pursuing any of this would hinder his duties or silvanus' job so for the last week or two of silvanus' recovery he doesnt show up but the day before she's supposed to return to work her, he sends a note saying to meet him outside of the city and shes like 'ah man he wants to meet me where no one can see and turn me down' but SIKE he spent most of the time away reading books on human courtship and its a fucking DATE. he brought her out to a secluded area with pretty flowers and woodland creatures because he knows she likes gardening and cute animals and nervously kisses her there i have the funniest mental image of him being like 'i spent time reading about proper courtship and was recommended literature insightful literature about physical intimacy since i have little experience on that matter' and silvanus is like 'oh my god did the hydro archon recommend smutty literature to him??'

5. Who initiates kisses?

they had a strict 'no PDA' rule (that silvanus broke during the last part of the archon quest lmao) but silvanus probably, tho neuvi initiates physical affection more often. i imagine he can get very affectionate if given the chance to fumble awkwardly until it becomes more natural to him

13. Who remembers the little things?

i think both of them are intuitive in picking up seemingly small things about each other. after they get together, neuvillette is very aware of any possible trigger that could cause silvanus' illness to flare up (he will NOT have a repeat of the Last Incident). he is instinctively aware when sivlie hasn't eaten or more tired than usual and has like a 6th sense when silvanus tries to sneak in an extra cup of coffee or lie about not resting properly. while silvanus is able to read neuvillette's emotional state fairly well even though his behavior and body language stays relatively the same (to most people)

[dreamdripdistance]

I'll always love a good Dizz tag rant about how much plastic fabrics suck ass <3

FVDSHKFBHDSUGDEWHJKFBZXJK im glad i have a brand!!! because like if someone doesnt need polyester for a specific purpose for its specific properties, why WOULD you prefer it over a natural fibre for an everyday use????

like. ethically sourced leather (which is a byproduct of the meat industry, cows are always going to be killed or will die for one reason or another, wasting their skin when it could instead be a Really good textile is STUPID and ILLOGICAL) or wool (something that will always be available as long as sheep roam this earth, and DOES NOT harm the animal and actually is integral to their survival!!) or cotton or linen or silk or whatever will always be a better, more ethical and healthier choice!!!!!

like just off the top of my head, linen is always going to be a better choice for bedding than anything else, especially in the way its literally a Stronger textile when wet, and its breathablity and antibacterial properties. all things you want when using and caring for your bedding????

cotton is GREAT for underwear and clothing kept close to the skin because of its breathablity. by the fucking way, ppl with vaginas? if youre wearing polyester underwear Every Day, i hope you know youre literally just inflicting yeast infections upon yourself??? like wearing cute lacy undies is great once in a while, but pleaaaaase. wear (loose fitting) cotton underwear to sleep, especially.

and also, wool is the greatest insulator that you could possibly get, and is key to making sure you dont also sweat (which can be dangerous and also gross even when its extremely cold), and is a great thing to use in your doonas if you can afford it (WHICH I CANT AND I CRY EVERY TIME)

like, yeah theres ethical issues regarding natural textiles, like leather dyeing processes (and that its an animal byproduct, which im not gonna talk about indepth bc idgaf), and the historically (and currently) evil practices being used to farm cotton, and the widespread fast fashion-ification of Everything rn even with natural textile garments.

but like. think about it in comparison to the mass manufacture and discarding of polyester fabrics, and the microplastics going loose in every single wash, and how polyester waste is literally just PLASTIC waste, so when your PU leather coat disintegrates, thats just going to go in the bin, where as a coat made of real leather is going to last for however as long as you can keep it conditioned and protected from damage (which can be fucking DECADES)

also, synthetics are Fine. like they have a time and place especially in the medical field and in situations where you reaaaally dont want anything coming in or out of what youre wearing. nylon was fucking revolutionary as the first entirely synthetic textile so like. i dont hate polyester? but again it has a time and place!!!

like, polyester is cheap as fuck, and if polyester or "cotton rich" (aka poly blend) bedding or clothing is all you can afford or find, then cool! im sorry about that, but i have no qualms about it! ive bought polyester clothing, like, my work pants are all polyester, because they were the cheapest dress pants i could get at kmart that were my size after trying and failing to find smth in an op shop! but like !!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHHHHH IF SOMEONE HAS THE MEANS TO BUY ACTUAL LEATHER (WITH NO QUALMS WITH REAL LEATHER OR W/E) AND THEN GOES TO DROP HUNDREDS ON A PU LEATHER (AKA PLASTIC) COAT, IM GONNA MAUL THEM!!!!!

anyways in conclusion, as i always say:

[ratgingi]

hiii pls infodump about outis maybe??? i have been looking around ur blog for info about him but i havent found much 😔 /lh

HI HELLO im glad ur interested in the fish man...... hes lowkey criminally underdeveloped in a lot of ways but i do have a few things i havent shared before i think

1. some physical stuff about him is that i generally put him around adverage height (like 5'7"/5'8" or so) and hes pretty sturdy. it takes a lot to knock him around but he will usually let people lile drag/move him places if they want to

2. hes kinda strong (can generally lift people/heavy objects with ease) but also very gentle and will usually refuse to do so because he gets afraid he will drop them. he forgets hes holding things sometimes no matter how obvious and in his face the thing is. if you ask him to hold something he will put all his focus on remembering he is holding That Thing and blank out until its taken from him

3. hes had his turtles for a number of years (like before moving to dt, since hes lived with his parents) and he wanted to name them things relating to their scientific species names but his parents told him to be normal so they got named after ninja turtle colors instead

4. while the gentleness is partially because of his anxiety and his not wanting to upset anyone he is also just generally a gentle guy. hes very conscious of other peoples (and animals) feelings and boundaries and the last thing he wants to do is accidentally hurt somebody. hes very niceys

5. he will give literally everybody benefit of the doubt. he believes that generally most people are just trying their best and its pretty much impossible to get him to snap at anyone. even in his route, when the player would be able to be mean to him, he would always respond kindly no matter what they said or did. if a person genuinely irks him he just doesnt hang around them anymore hed rather die than get on someones case about something

6. despite it all i wouldnt really call him a push over, more just. hopelessly optimistic about the world around him. his brain is constantly telling him that everything and everyone is scary and wants him to explode so he has to tell himself that isnt true in order to function, even if that results in worse situations for himself sometimes

7. in his route you would in fact get to meet his turtles and the fish in his fishtank. you would also give him the opportunity to introduce you to each one via name, species, natural habitat, and more if you so choose

8. i Think ive mentioned it before but he is in fact a bit hard of hearing. because of this he talks a little louder. its also why he misses information sometimes, because he gets too scared of asking people to repeat themselves for him. a little sad when one of his favorite activities when around someone hes comfy with is listening to them talk

9. he can come off a bit ditzy but he is genuinely pretty intelligent, he just doesnt really use his braincells for things that dont actively interest him in some way

10. he picked his name because he went through a phase when he was just kinda messing around with his identity where he was interested in mythology (starting with more water-based things and growing from there), he clicked with the name and asked some of his friends to start calling him by that and it just stuck. if you directly asked him anything about mythology nowadays he probably wouldnt have much to say but if it just randomly comes up in a convo he will probably infodump about it some without really thinking abt it

11. speaking of his name he has a little script memorized of how its spelled where it comes from and what it means because hes used to having to explain it to friends/family

12. he mostly got top surgery for back related issues, hes generally pretty happy with his body. he would however give himself gills given the chance

13. he likes holding hands and hugging onto people but will only do it if you clearly tell him to his face that it is 100% okay to do so otherwise he will never touch you in a million years. there would probably be dialogue options in his route where the player can give him permission to do so and stuff implying theyre actively holding hands and stuff

14. there would be an option for the player to lie and tell him theyre a sea monster. he would think it was very cool and proceed to infodump about some of that water beast knowledge he knows

15. he does have a stutter, i wouldnt really say its Because of his anxiety but the anxiety certainly doesnt help. it mostly causes him to repeat words, but he also struggles with L's, Y's, and R's occasionally.

16. his font is harlow solid italic and his associated color is #FF8776

bonus have a doodle of him

[riddlemethisjeremy]

On that post about autism winning you put in the tags how cannibalism isn't a great survival food source can you elaborate more on that because I'm genuinely curious

yes actually !!

So there are a few reasons for this

The first one, which im pretty sure i mentioned in the tags, is that human flesh is actually really low on calories.

And i know

"calories bad 😡😡😡 high calorie food isnt good for you etc. etc."

This is a diet culture myth

Calories are actually the human body's main source of long term energy your body converts it into fat to store it and then burns the fat to make energy when food is scarce/when you're using a lot of it at once.

Having a high calorie diet is like pretty good for people in stamina sports because it means they won't burn out too quickly.

When you're in a survival situation where food is scarce, you're gonna want foods either high in sugar so you can get your energy boost straight away (humans are not this because we burn through sugar like its gasoline) or high in calories so that you can preserve your energy and live longer, and so you can last off the same bit of food for longer. Food that is high in calories tend to be filling because your body is getting a bunch of storable energy really quickly and you do not need as much of it at once to live.

Because humans store energy as fat, though, a lot of the calories in it tend to burn when you would be cooking human flesh, meaning that most of the useful survival nutrients likely will be wasted. And making the assumption that this is a city person who is resorting to cannibalism as a final option, they probably would not be able to stomach raw human/not a hundred percent but it could possibly kill you? I know human meat gets compared to pork/chicken quite often and they're both white meats, which you can't eat raw. So in the basic sense of getting energy off of the food you're eating, humans just don't have the correct nutritional balance to sustainably keep you alive you'd have kill and eat another person every like two-three days whereas animals like pigs/goats/sheep you could live off for at least a week before they start to spoil (and even then if you cook it thoroughly uts still technically safe to eat for like almost a month) so if you can find something similar in your wilderness environment do so

Also don't quote me on this but pretty sure a good way to tell for meat with decent calorie intake is muscle vs fat

Beef cows are often bred for muscle as opposed to fat because the fat just lacks nutrients and doesnt satisfy hunger very well

So if you have a himbo friend they're going first just saying

But also humans aren't really naturally built to build muscle as well as they build fat, so either way chances are you'll still end up lacking calorie intake.

Reason number two !!

A pretty fuckin big one

Kuru

Kuru is a protien disease (i think thats the word). I dont know all the sciency shit but basically inside your brain you have these little chemicals and theyre unique to you. They like float around your body a little and vibe idrk why they're there.

However

When you ingest human flesh

The other persons little protein things attack your ones.

Most of what i know about the symptoms of kuru come from this one zombie game my dad used to play (z nation or gen z or some shit like that it was a super hardcore survival game) so like dont quote me too much on this

But basically it deteriorates your brain functions. You like start getting forgetful/judgement/risk evaluation gets affected/emotional management fucks off completely (you get all manic sometimes i think and like hysterical laughing is common in later stages) and eventually your brain just kind of in general stops functioning and you die.

And it takes a little while like a couple weeks or something i think depending on the amount of human flesh you consume.

And like you won't always contract a lethal level of kuru i think, like generally the further away from the brain you are the better off you'll be? Like if you eat a human brain you're practically dead on arrival but if youre munching on toes you have to eat like four or five people's worth to die

Fun fact: the penis is the only place on the human body this protein isnt found which means eating dick is safe.

But yeah kuru is nasty and i do not recommend to the average tumblr user.

Please bear in mind that i am not a science nerd do like the more scientific shit i am not a hundred percent on and you should probably take this with a lil grai of salt because i might have oversimplified or misunderstood something

But this is more or less why cannibalism is not a great survival tactic and should definitely be the last of last resorts

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

ignore this let me rant about my surge playlist because i really love it

I LOVE THIS PLAYLIST SO MUCH IS SUCH A BANGER PLAYLIST I NEED TO PAINSTAKINGLY EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY I PUT EACH SONG ON IT EVEN IF ITS OBVIOUS

1. PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

i dont think this majorly fits surge's character (other than the lady gaga meat dress part) but i think she'd probably do covers of queef jerky in universe (provided her life wasnt the way it is)

2. The Mind Electric Miracle Musical

i really love tally hall/miracle musical so um. dont be surprised to find them in a playlist of mine made after i started listening to them. the most commonly accepted theory is that its about someone being given electro shock therapy until they die/lose their mind, which (sort of) fits surge's story!!!

3. Modify Lemon Demon

the song is about extreme body mods. which kinda fits surge i guess.

4. Amnesia Was Her Name Lemon Demon

SHE DOESNT KNOW WHO SHE USED TO BE 🗣️‼️ SHE FORGOT 🗣️‼️

5. People Eater Sodikken

i think this song is meant to be about an abusive relationship??? it only very loosely fits but its a banger and i cant remove it

6. Fighter Jack Stauber

i dont think this song majorly fits either honestly but it can fit if you make it fit

7. ...Because I'm Young Arrogant And Hate Everything You Stand For Machine Girl

i cant hear most of the lyrics theyre screamed BUT I THINK SHE'D LIKE IT!!! also from what i can make out, it does fit

8. Ghost Machine Girl

this song's instrumental so it's entirely just 'well i think she'd listen to it and its a good song'

9. & Tally Hall

this song's about duality which doesnt majorly fit surge but absolutely sounds like something she'd listen to. also, later on in the playlist, there's A Lady which i added 2 months later which is a follow up of &.

10. Turn the Lights Off Tally Hall

urrrr it's about puberty and she's a teenager urrrr ummm

11. Doku Hakushi Hasegawa

this song barely fits BUT it sounds like something she'd like :D

12. SR20DET Blksmiith

instrumental but you CANNOT tell me she doesnt like breakcore and jungle

13. AM FM Vertigoaway

see above

14. Palmtree Panic - "B" Mix SEGA SOUND TEAM

ok so first of all this song actually is from sonic and second of all it sounds like trying to smile while wanting to scream which ig fits

15. Metallic Madness - "P" Mix SEGA SOUND TEAM

again, this is actually from sonic and also it sounds like something vaguely relating to surge

16. Oh Klahoma Jack Stauber

this song is about someone whose friend has social anxiety and they're trying to help them become social, which hurts not only the friend but the narrator themself. while not fully accurate, i could very easily imagine surge as the narrator and kit as the friend

17. Dead Weight Jack Stauber

similarly to oh klahoma, this is about someone who wants to be social but is unsure how. it doesnt really relate to surge but screw you jack stauber is a wonderful artist

18. The Dragon Game A Loud Scream SEGA SOUND TEAM

see 12, however with the addition of 'also its sonic team'

19. icosa Oliver Buckland

WOOHOO YIPPEE ENA!!!! (this song isnt FROM ena, but plays in auction day)

20. anemoia Oliver Buckland

ENAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO EXCITED FOR DREAM BBQ

21. God Race (Temptaion Stairway) Metaroom

ENA AND METAROOM ENA AND METAROOM ENA AND METAROOM

22. Kitty City Cyriak Harris

the animation to go with this has nothing to do with surge but i think the music gives surge vibes! ALSO its instrumental so you cant dispute that

23. Scrap Brain Zone Masato Nakamura

scrap brain zone, both as a song and as a stage, absolutely gives surge vibes. in sonic 1, im pretty sure every stage other than sbz and final zone has some form of natural element, and at the very least has happy sounding music. i also slightly associate scrap brain zone with overwhelming misery, due to the way it sounds, the name and also because when i first played sonic 1 i was stuck on it for ages omg

24. Unused Song (Sonic 2) Masato Nakamura

something about this song, including the fact it wasnt used, feels incredibly mysterious, which i mean you can link mystery to surge in a lot of ways

25. FAMILY GUY QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

similar to the first one except its only 'i think surge would like queef jerky'. i dont know how you link this song to anything other than family guy.

26. A Lady Tally Hall

i think this surge vaguely fits surge and for some reason i cant help but picture this with surgamy. i mostly added it tho because i got mildly obsessed with it and had an excuse to add it seeing as & is in the playlist earlier

[frostbite-the-bat]

god yesterday i was so excited and motivated to play toontown and this update is pretty awesome, i love the new animations and the new cogs but most of it is basically ONLY a new coat of paint and theres nothing new to do, aside from beating up some of the new cogs to get them added to my cog schticker book. so i kinda lose motivation about it really, REALLY quickly.

i am already dismotivated and tired in general today, i got better sleep than last night and i dont know how i even functioned yesterday. so my lack of motivation and my shift of focus of Want To Play Other Game Despite Hyperfixation (minecraft and stardew valley on my 'wanna play at least a bit today' itches) is explained this way

but man. without friends i don't feel like checking most of i out - and a lot of my friends from my club already did so, without me, while i was asleep because of timezones.

(if any of u read this its not your fault im pissed at myself for being the one [well, now we have 2] europeans in our club)

so i dunno. i still gotta digest this update more, but realizing it added basically no new gameplay dismotivates me greatly. it was needed especially with some quality of life things like better tasks for clubs, emoting in a cog suit, cleaner animations (and quicker animations, too).

but holy hell there's nothing *new* to do the novelty will die off very quickly. it's just an april toons wait for me again. good update in terms of quality, i'd say.

but honestly? overhyped. i may be wrong though. bu whatever, it's my opinion and i am feeling pessimistic today. this doesn't mean i don't like the update, i do like it and it excites me. but urgh. okay. check out new things and log off and its the same. but i get it. volounteer team. they're not gonna add any big things yet. got hopes up.

mmm i've just been negative with staff or other reasons so i suppose my naturally harsher criticism stems from that. but again i still have very big respect for the work they do and i myself would not be able to do these things. but as someone who has like 133 laff and all they have left to do is graham(had task for almost year, cant get friendgroup to first time with me), prestter (skipping), oclo and maxing clo and ceo as the grindy things (and some drops, like mistys drops. how did i get all dave drops before misty.) theres so little to do like a lot of my enjoyment comes from playing with friends. and timezones are a thing. if you have lower motivation good luck getting shit done here

ugh still i cant overstate how dearly i love this game, im hyperfixated on it for a reason. and im not demanding theres more content NOW. it takes lots of time to develop. but as i keep privately yapping for Hours. staff needs better communication and pr and less of this arg shit. builds hype and then what we get is a new coat of paint

is it a good one? yes!!! does it give me new shit to do? not really. aside from wanting to draw the new cogs and new misty design.

ugh. am i being too negative? i may be. i dunno. feels odd to ramble about this knowing full well there's at least like 3 staff members who know me. maybe not on this account but, yknow.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

This or that: Writer's edition tag!

Thank you for the tag, @pens-swords-stuff!! i love these kinds of games so much :D

this post is long, so apologies in advance! that said, i'll tag @writeblrfantasy, @ettawritesnstudies, @ren-c-leyn, and @enchanted-lightning-aes, as well as anyone else who wants to play!! as always, absolutely 0 pressure to participate if you dont want <3

(explanations for choices are optional, i am just a wordy bitch and want to Speak At Length about many things)

- historical or futuristic

as much as i write fantasy, i LOVE a speculative tech-based setting way more than i love a historical or pseudo-historical setting - which is uh. why my main fantasy world does in fact have a cyberpunk corner and Heavily Implied To Be Aliens pantheon.

- opening or closing chapter

the closing chapter is ALWAYS one that ive been champing at the bit to write for the whole book, and its always so satisfying to finally get out on the page

- light+fluffy or dark+gritty

case in point: whispers and the copious amounts of various horror, gore, and downright gut-punch scenes in millennium saga

- animal companion or found family

bonus points for the found family if theres an animal companion of course, but as much as i love wrench, she is a) not the most important member of the party and b) also a robot so i dont think she counts as an animal anyway outside of andy's dubious claims to fitting under the "dragon" definition

- horror or romance

i will write 1000 instances of "what the FUCK" for every page i struggle through writing romance as someone who does not experience attraction

- hard or soft magic system

I LOVE MAKING PUZZLES OUT OF WORLDS AND MAGIC AND STORIES. THATS IT THATS THE POST

- standalone or series

surprise! TMS may be a series and my long-running main WIP, but uh. 90% of my concepts are standalones. and tbh i like writing standalones more because i dont have to struggle with multiple books of plot and characters fitting together

- one project at a time or always juggling multiple

while i have a bajillion ideas, i struggle to get any work done if im not 100% invested in the story at hand, so i work on one at a time (while allowing myself to switch if i need to of course; but if i do switch, it's never just a few days. its months, and often seeing something to completion)

- one award winner or one best seller

honestly? id rather be recognized for my hard work in creating the characters/story via an award than via a bajillion people reading it,,, though theoretically if its winning an award at least enough people have read it to a) nominate it and b) vote for it, so? best of both worlds kinda?

- fantasy or scifi

YOU THINK I, GENRE BLENDER GEORG, COULD CHOOSE--

- character or setting description

please god. my beta readers didnt know what color embers hair was until chapter 13 because i couldnt fuckin figure out how to put a description of it in naturally. ill take describing massive trees and open ocean and vast plains of ice and cluttered rooms and stained glass windows any day but dont make me describe the narrator or i swear to fuck

- first or final draft

its the puzzle box gremlin in me like "NYEHEHEHE THE PIECES. THEY ARE THERE. PEOPLE CAN SOLVE THEM. NEYHE" and that simply cannot happen in the first draft

- love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

we write polyamory, one (1) enemies-to-lovers, or no romance at all in this house (it feels so alienating to write no matter what but if its for the story ill do just about anything)

- constant sandstorm or rainstorm

can i say blizzard? i want to say blizzard. same "dont go outside or you'll die" as sandstorm but less worrying about water and also more excuses for the characters to light a fire and Talk About The Horrors or just commit arson

[blueiight]

8, 11, 12 for spaceboys

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

every bro who thinks this show is a perfect analogue to their rl politics…or likewise that the show is mocking said bros bc theyre incapable of confronting the fact that fascists will use anything to justify their ideology & that there is an air of revanchism/reactionary sentiment in the text that the author presumes the audience/reader will think of as morally dubious (if not evil downright. think of the ‘i want to be a good friend, but not a master or servant’ speech. which i rly do think is the central idea of the text. but maybe thats me projecting too? we are all a bit of a hypocrite). i just feel like for some ppl this is their first anime that isnt battle shounen that theyre like OMG its #2DEEP4U like omggg. looking at tanaka’s other works or even at yang wenli’s character who serves as an authorial proxy + his own in universe character arc which i <3 in mind tanaka seems to be more interested in how mythology + historiography is constructed than he is rly the minutiae of political reforms and the precision of things (if the 50 billion people that seem to die in every space battle didnt clue u in alr). idk. maybe im stupid. but also ppl who take ‘hey, maybe annerose had any sort of feelings about her brother & having to take on being the retroactive justification for his conquest’ (like they even call her the mother of space or something to that affect?? thats a heavy burden for one woman to hold. she didnt even ask for this. reinhard didnt even do anything to frederich like he died .. no one had to free annerose) to be ‘ur calling annerose a bitch?’. it doesnt help that theres not enough textually of annerose, but the fact that a lot of her screentime / page time is ominously prescient warnings on the nature of power v. reinhard’s disposition is something??? sieg if my brother stops listening to you then my brother is lost.. is that not a sign of some complex feelings about her brother or at the very least, the man her brother has / could / and did become? also queer readings that try to divorce the militaristic elements when so much of the subtext is wrapped around nascent homoeroticism typical in military /‘ male ‘ dominant fields. thinking about kircheis being the most physically imposing but the most gentle, and while he is reinhard’s dead wife his bond with reinhard is also wrapped in a shared militaristic ambition of ‘taking space’. half of what i have is urs! paralleled to reuenthal & mittermeyer - mittermeyer being the only dude who could beat up reuenthal, them being reinhard’s shuangbi /twin stars/pillars bc of their skills in combat... could i have been married too, like mittermeyer? hell naw hilde + oberstein being outsiders in the empire bc they do not commandeer fleets. yang being ‘useless below the neck’ is a joke but its something.

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

actually dont filter much cuz spaceboys fandom on here is dead but i refuse to go on certain platforms LOL

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

once again its dead on here idkkk. whats unpop v pop. despite being an OG in this spaceboy shit.. ik the way i liked reuenthal was unpop until nat & wiaw omg Reuenthal’s rebellion as a final act of loyalty + M.A.(S).D. thesis but fr evil seme reuenthal & boring self insert yang all 2018 by ppl who didnt even touch the OVA hurt my soul…what was they doing to my queens💔💔💔 there is no why u should like reuenthal thesis he should be killed with rocks but the ova did something incidentally (or purposefully?) thats haunted me for centuries. everybody likes reinhard and reuenthal in the wrong ways. anne rice interrogating the text fron the wrong pov voice

[anoms-world]

11 ppl dont change dont let them lie at you evyone have a comfort zone to back to no matter how harmfull it can be sometimes and of course dependent on the inviroment if its against you or with you wondering who whispering in the shadow now yea everone deserve to live to die peacefully 12 pleaser be like creepy talkinginf personal about themself yet objictvly toward you being slow low defensive teaser are crazy lol they think you talk personal toward them yet objetively toward your self lol they think you are attacking as they do oh and they wish for spices often their wish become true tho you didnt hope for that at all real toxic and you were weak motivated by their blind whispers weird and funny they will deny that do they can not see their shadow? 13 the sad truth is you have to fight and being silence is your fight against life theifs 14 its hard to believe that i rather take damage to just talk my way to not feel alone its seems the only way i know so well with teasers (well at least they serious now staring at the mirror and im sorf of liying at myself throgh that for any kind of comfort for my spirit) i just hate words judgment long personal talk and gosib generally words used for aggrisive personal intuetion

15no i really dont want to forget tho things looks nice now as if was deceved oh and repeat all the pain no thx 16dont joke about food they real seroius about eneregy sources even if you dont need much of it for mind function 17sharing is caring yea espicially when sharing pain no wonder most of us gone unconst all the time 18as much the heart is wide it become empty way too soon i dont think its a good thing its fine if its work for you no judgement

19im inautopilut mode for long time now bc the grip 20for some reason i still remember the wober of street cat who 21we almost best friend wen no one around it make me fierce

22laugh it off if u want im trumalized by nice i knew there was something behind that i feel depressed u cant fool me dont worry im keeping everyone secrites include mine 23 im leaving ihave nothing else i just think being slave for back forth commincain or objective mind stimulation even f fake and natural or emergency needs which requied money depend on your best self often its not even there

-it seem everyone need an enemy geneticly include me as a result -remeber every creature yea even the small one in this world wiill eat you alive when you weak or desprate or sleeap for chance or change -it make me sad to realize no one really care orignaly and they would leave you at the road if they had to -it seem a bit off for me to act as if you were sinsitve by my ballshit when the fact maybe you are the first who can or would approve and handle in ways no one would imagine -never rely on hope it will tear you apart you either would be the one who tear them self apart in defense ooor tearing someone else aparat in attack in another i rathar to attack my self to stay distand frome massive ways keep hating you hate to have to avoid dting brokrn mentallt over and over again while you attack yourself rathar attack others to stay close the exact oposote lmao a real sad story agony? irony?no nono its a thing and its real -the thing is between being hunted like animal by ur closest one orthe factu triedto pleaseall theseyearstrying to pleasethem whileu lost ur real self true identityalongtheway plus not even giving a fuck about ur falling confusedtears

going vegan… i will stop writing for now (until my device reach out then i would draw i have some repeated things) …something off about being nonvegan like evil smart vibes which unhuman to me …. its just meh .. do:coffee hawthorn chimal ginsinsing fennel pumpkin seed black eyed peas lentins oats sardine peanutbutter apricot carrots pineapple lemon lime grapefruit flax seed/oil black seed oil grapefruit grapeleaves garlic onion cherries green tea red wine green bean ginger barly malt soy okra spinach blue/black berry

dont:cashew potato tomato mango coconut meatmilk orange chixkpeas butter beef liver selt water corn oil white vinger frucose cheesecream/chedder pepper alltypes

before i go i have theory about the shadow ppl i think they are just ppl suck out the life from ur child hood which created the personality u have today or whatever left of you in some rare lifes if you want to say its also the reason why u have love and hate relationship with them as u become older unless overloaded to even comberhence/care or or no love and hate thing which would be great which imposiple and too late the boundry are too crosed its why you have comfy looped confusion of your own and shadow reminder in return which had to hold on personal believe for mental peace chance unless already forget or already distracted

i wonder if its just the old spirit memories and they arent even mine for guideness and to recognise for the connection within tho we arent similar or even close at all it must be deferent for connection yet its almost like simon relationship oh i forget it faster than me it can be slower than you who knows?! its by how you build ive never knew someone who was able to change their basic building entirly only the ilusinal one who like to lie in positive twisted confinsing way yea too many types most of them weirded by you XD its awesome!! not really, them confidant XD yea!

maybe maybe its your first memory first stroke and trauma XD love/hate? then comfy?

some twitch ppl have some real good vibes XD hint for what going on sure you can feel it tho its not real for me sometimes yet enough to fill time before something else do so im hopping from channel to another

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did i mentioned i had the worst brain fog this week >.>

its why i find late activeties helpfull to some extended level

[wychelm]

im not sure i view the important part of trust as anything other than a lack of fear associated with another creature.. even as a human thats most of what it is for me lol i feel fear from seeing any creature who's intentions im unsure of but there are a few people i am confident enough about their intentions that i feel barely any fear when they approach me, maybe even none sometimes. also i think a lot about how animals experience fear because i do Not believe that it is possible for their experience of being constantly on edge to be similar to the human one for the reason that it isnt natural in us. im anxious all the time bc a system that is supposed to be sometimes active is always active and its deeply unpleasant. i dont believe it would hurt the same if i had evolved such that it was always /supposed/ to be on yknow?

well, I don't know about "supposed to"... I don't think there's much should and shouldn't in evolution, that's a suggestion of some kind of mortality system. I take your point about anxiety but for the record when I said I understood what it was like to live in fear I wasn't talking about anxiety, I think fear and anxiety are not the same. what I was talking about though is probably something far less animal than anxiety is, which is fear of my future and the very real prospect of suffering physically every day until I die. this isn't something animals seem to experience because they don't seem to have a concept of the future as we do, nor do they seem to have "second order thoughts" ie thoughts about thoughts that potentially allow us to reason, prescribe morality etc. above the base level instincts we feel.

regarding trust I think your definition of it feels true to me but I do also think there may be an element of human trust that involves a conscious choice to trust something or someone, again because of our sometime ability to reason and deliberate and choose rather than acting on impulses. however I am kind of conflicted here because I also do not necessarily believe choice exists as we want it to, as we're governed by the same laws of cause and effect as the rest of existence.

maybe I see it as levels of trust, and most animals aren't capable of an actual lack of fear, but rather am ambivalence. but then, humans can never be 100% certain either! and domesticated animals like dogs and cats do seem to show a much greater capacity for trust than wild animals, so perhaps it is something that can evolve.

also I guess there is a difference between being alert and being in fight or flight, though I truly have no idea how we'd even begin to make these kinds of distinctions in animals. in a way it's all just semantics and interesting thought experiments because we can't know the minds of others with certainty, and the further we get away from our species I think the less and less accurate we'll be at guessing. but it is fun to think about.