#help idk what to tag things with anymore
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svt or skz as types of yandere that you see them as
ok actually lets discuss bc these are my thoughts [skz edition, ask for svt if you still want it!]
cw; yandere, manipulation. physical torture
the overbearing, isolating type — chan
he's just trying to protect you!! it's best that you don't talk to your family nor your friends any longer. and come straight home after work, don't worry about any errands, channie will take care of them <3 he'll drop you off an pick you up from work... actually, it's best that you don't go to work anymore. you're not in danger, it's all just to keep you safe, you don't want to make him feel like he can't protect you, do you? chan will take care of you and everything else from now long as long as you stay home but do not go in the basement
the manipulative type—minho
why do you even bother thinking for yourself when minho has proven time and time again that he can do the thinking for you? the world is scary, and even scarier without him by your side. you wouldn't want bad things to start happening to you, he just cares for you. actually, whatever, he doesn't care what you do, be on your own. but when something happens don't come looking for him to be your savior. see, he was right all along, that's why you should listen to him and only him. no one else.
the sadistic type—seungmin
everything he does to you is because he loves you. it's just that you should've listened to him. if you had, then he wouldn't have to do this to you. it's your fault, really, isn't it? well, this is how you make it up to him; the pain won't last long, only a couple hours and then it's done. tortures you for hours on end until you finally break, succumbing exactly how he wants you to. makes you promise not to defy him again, because he won't be so nice next time. runs you a bath and kisses you so tenderly; pretends nothing happened after.
the possessive type—changbin, jeongin
they own you. that's it. there's no room for discussion. you speak when spoken to, eat when they tell you to, and when they tell you to jump, your only response should be 'how high?'. don't speak to anyone, don't look at anyone. in fact, you're lucky they let you out of the house at all. don't even talk about someone else—don't even think of someone else or they swear they'll....
the clingy type—felix
he's you're best friend, there's no way he can have feelings for you. so you think nothing of it when you tell him that you're going on a date tonight—and it's with someone that the both of you know. he feigns excitement for you, excusing himself because something came up. of course, he expected you to call him crying about being stood up, which is why he comes over to be your shoulder to cry on. as long as he's around, no one will get in-between the two of you.
the obsessive, delusional type—jisung, hyunjin
their daily thoughts are all of you. they only dream of you. you're always on their mind and they have to let you know it! you're perfect, who wouldn't like you? who wouldn't obsess over you? they need to know that you think of them just as much. that you dream of them right? of course you do! tell them that you love them just as much if not more than they love you—of course you do, right? right?
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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What inspires/references do you use for your original designs? I'm always impressed with how unique each one looks!!
AUGHSSJD that’s really sweet of you to say thank you! But I unfortunately don’t really have any sort of process for my designs they sorta just
Appear???
Like genuinely I just
A guy pops into my brain and I have to draw them
I’m basically just coping directly what I can see in my mind’s eye- and I have no idea how my brain spawns these ideas they Just Happen
I get such a vivid picture sometimes that I don’t know what’s caused it or what’s inspired it I JUST have to draw the new cool dude who rotates in my brain
#Hephaestus himself gifts them to me or something idk#sometimes when I don’t like a design I’ve made it’s because I forgot what they looked like before I could draw them#that happened with a character of mine called Blaze recently#fuckin’ hated it when I was done because it didn’t look how it was supposed to#I AM trying to get into the habit of developing my ideas a bit more by pulling from reference and trying more than one attempt at a design#but I think my brain just stores reference material and throws them in a jumble at me sometimes#this is why I struggle so badly to make designs sometimes because my brain isn’t supplying the funny guys anymore#bitch get the factory running again I want to draw#I think I’ve mentioned this before but I have a near constant like.#reel of movies going through my head about different characters and stories#and I just pull from that when I wanna draw something#I know it’s my own mind and creativity doing these things but I feel like an outsider to my own process JGSHKDDK#idk how I got here but I sure am here#this is all very lighthearted n silly btw I love the way my mind works with this stuff#it’s just not very helpful for other people#anon#asks#oc: moth#art tag#oc tag
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I want to write something on here for fun, but I have like 40-50 pages I need to write for finals, plus so much late music theory work and preparing for juries and concerts and other finals ahh 🫣
#send help#stressed#finals week#muh face#poet of tumblr#writers of tumblr#original poets on tumblr#poets of tumblr#poets on tumblr#writers on tumblr#college things#alternative fashion#idk how to tag this#alt fashion#scene fashion#emo fashion#school work#finals season#so much work#idek anymore#idk whats happening#idk what style this is#can you relate#december#my thoughts#my feelings#me lol#is it just me?#feelings#fashion
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I might have OCD actually
#idk i can't tell if its ocd or paranoia#but all my life these “share this text to 10 contacts or your mum will die” always made me unreasonably panicked#and more and more because of posts like “donate now or you are a horrible person” make me deeply unwell#i feel so selfish because i know it's not their fault#im not blaming palestinians reaching out for help more like the people who share the posts and then guilt trip everyone#and i really dont wanna block the tags because it'll make me feel even worse and i still want to be informed#i have so many asks pilling up but idk what to do because I'm useless i can't help in anyway i dont have any reach and no money in my name#and i dont wanna close asks because i do enjoy ask games#but also idk what to do#because when i reply its so hard i feel miserable because i can't help but as soon as i reply i get 20 new ones and it's incredibly overwhel#overwhelming#but when i dont answer my brain is screaming at me “if you dont reply your while family will die in a car crash”#and it's a simple mental image to think of the more asks i answer the more i get the more my brain tells me awful things#I'm sorry to any mutual i may have unfollowed because they shared so many guilt tripping posts i genuinely can't do it anymore#and i feel terrible#and I don't wanna leave Tumblr because it's my only social platform left lmao and thevother ones are all awful its the inly one i like#I'm just not in the right mental state to constantly see “donate or you dont deserve to live even if youre poor” kinda posts#it's not even triggering its just making my “ocd” worse than it ever was#all day long my brian been telling me “you will die today because you didnt answer the asks!!”#it's genuinely horrible idk what to do and eother way i feel like a piece of shit i feel like i dont have the right to feel this way
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wow my dudes, dealing with a parent with cancer has to be the absolute hardest thing I've been through in my life
#wondering what tags should i used to get actual advice#cancer#cancer support#this has triggered my anxiety to absolutely unparalleled levels and I'm about to start going down that deep black hole and somehow#seeking internet advice moves my mind away from things#my siblings are the absolute worst and here i am having to send a message because he's refusing to go get A BLOOD TRANSFUSION#the way I've been tested this year is insane#my other side of the family already talking about dead and legal issues?? instead of idk being my support system?#it's like a clock is ticking and the end is imminent and it feels so close and i just don't have the mental capacity to process anything#i think im going to look for psychological help now because i don't think i can handle this#everything came crashing down on me this year and i simply cannot handle it anymore#anyway fellas#this is like my biggest fear materializing in the worst way possible
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I need to start thinking of ideas for the prompt list I made to get myself to sketch more in October, but instead I'm drawing self-indulgent comics about cats 😭
#lots of words in the tags!!!#i was watching the livestream and drawing until midnight#but i sketched the whole comic and refined the sketch so i can do lineart over it#and started the lineart and used a new brush and hoooooly shit i love it#i love what i've done so far#and i almost didn't draw at all last night because i was having a kinda hard day with the brain#but boy howdy those 3 hours of drawing helped so much#i need to get back to work now so i can start drawing before 9 pm today#but i have been thinking about it non-stop#also there's something really really incredible about making something like this and seeing the art improvement clearly#i think i've said it before but i used to have such trouble with things like hands and expressions and movement#and i'm not saying i can't or don't hope to do better with them still#but now i don't feel like i struggle AS MUCH and i don't dread drawing these things anymore#i cannot believe that my#what is this#like a furry era or something?? idk#i can't believe it's pushed me to get better at art than i ever have before#thanks if you read this far <3#this is eli
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Great googley moogley it’s all going to shit! Every day becomes exponentially more terrifying!
And all perfectly timed to just right at the start of what’s supposed to be my adult life where I get my shit together and be useful and productive!
#we’re cooked#we’re doomed#idk the end is nigh or whatever god damn#I just wanna be able to live in my own house and draw a guy sometimes without the ever present threat of the horrors is that too much#apparently yeah cause houses aren’t achievable anymore but man#m a n#especially if you didn’t/couldn’t go to college and aren’t capable of working most jobs#doesn’t help there’s the chance some part of my existence might be suddenly illegal or extremely dangerous yippie!#the options are literally 1. people die 2. people die what the hell do you even do man#how the fuck is this the election I’m gonna get forced to be a part of we’re living in hell#and nobody around me believes it’ll get bad yay great oh so wonderful#I can’t wait to lose rights and cause millions of deaths regardless of who gets chosen#I think one of these days I’m literally just gonna die of stress#it’ll either be a stroke or a heart attack or cancer or uh well ya know#we’re fucked#we’re screwed#I wanna have some kind of an actually visible break down but ive suppressed everything so much that I don’t outwardly emote much anymore :)#and the constantly dissociating thing too I guess#if you ever think ‘oh yeah I can just think of guy in a situation that’s so cool’ don’t it’s a trap—#although tbh this would be significantly worse without it so uh law of equivalent exchange I guess#fuck fuck fuck anyway#not putting this in the main tags#definitely deleting this later#if anyone in my house got any hints that I may or may not have different opinions than them well uh I’m financially dependent on them so um#literally wouldn’t have anywhere to go if anything happened#oh we’re really in it now Simon#hell world#there’s like what 7 genocides going on too I hate everything I hate everything I hate everything#I can’t do anything to help anyone either cause I don’t have a job and I could get kicked out or treated badly at home for it#not that anyone thinks very highly of me at home anyway I am kinda family disappointment number 2 I pretty sure
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What even is a moodboard........ my friend makes em and I still don't get it
#pat yaps#i got tagged in that moodboard thing but like#it would just be a bunch of textposts!!!#idk i feel like maybe i dont have. a distinct style for nico in mind and that Doesnt Help ig#dude my aesthetic levels are!!! so low!!! i have no actual fashion sense!!!#nico i will put you in cargo shorts and oversized shirts forever gomenasai#how do i say this#she would ride her bike in flip flops. u know?? smoke naked??#she should be in an all girls catholic school#this feels weirdly american midwestern and im not sure thats what i want. its not coquette. i think.#idk tho i been up for like 19 hours not making sense anymore ggffdxzdcvndjd
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sometimes being autistic really separates me from other people. there's an invisible wall that separates me from people, society, the world. all those things can reach through the wall and slap me around, but it's one way. I can't reach them. and they never pat me on the head. nothing nice comes through. and I can't get out. I try to share good things. nothing gets through the wall. they see it as I purposely don't come out of the room i'm locked in. they think I act like i'm too good for them. they are offended and reach in to slap me. i'm desperately screaming and trying to reach out to them. trying to be part of things. but I can't. I can't connect with them. I can't be part of society. this wall isn't my doing, but they are making sure it stays up and making sure they only send negative signals through. know I can't stay behind this wall or I literally can't live. but also can't get out. i'm stuck and blamed for it. told i'm not trying and it's on purpose. i've been kicking and screaming at the wall my whole life and didn't make a dent. the lonliness and disconnection that can be felt when autistic is something nonautistic people will never feel or understand.
#lee rambles#just feeling that autistic lonliness and disconnection strongly today so heres vague rambly nonsense#autistic#autism things#actually autistic#dont know how to truly connect to people. or be part of society in a way that benefits living. people dont seem to try#nor do they want to help. they just act like and assume im the one not trying. im trying way harder than they ever will.#i need some patients and accommodation and understanding. needs and boundaries need met and respected. i never get those.#no one tries to connect with me. i have to do all the work but dont have ability to. but im expected to. since i cant its my fault.#so i stay on the outside looking in. begging for the door to be unlocked. while they stare through window laughing#and blaming me for not walking through a solid wall because they dont unlock the door fkr others so why would they do it for me#ahhh. idk what im talking about. need to do mamy things but think brain dissociating. idk who i am right now i could be anyone#patience* typed wrong word. cant move tags in right place on phone anymore
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I am here again asking for help. Last time I got none and had to borrow from a friend but I can't keep doing that or I'll be both moneyless and friendless. I know I'm a nobody and don't have much to offer, all I do is take commissions. And those come every blue moon. I'm diagnosed with autism type 1-2 and i-adhd along with cptsd. I can't find a job in this rural hellscape I live in and I don't drive. This month has been awful because my mother hurt her leg and we've spent more money than we were supposed to and she can't work for the time being. The household includes two physically disabled people, too. I'm not asking for thousands, just €300 would be enough to help with transport and medication. I need this money so much, that I irrationally blew around 5 today because I was angry that nobody wants to buy my secondhand stuff and I kept getting notifications for an item nobody was buying. I don't know what to do. The gigs I get are too sporadic and the shit I'm selling isn't interesting because I'm poor, so how could it be? The commission information is in my pinned. But if you can help and don't want anything, my pp and coffee are in the carrd.
Thanks in advance.
#homiro said some shit#medical emergency#help needed#dont tag as s!gn@! b00sl because it makes the site flag things apparently idk#if you can't do anything just leave it or tag as help or something#i know i should be useful but I'm not and i feel pathetic having to do this again because I can't catch a break#but it is what it is and taking a shortcut and permanently removing myself from strife isn't an option#or it is but i don't want to cause anymore trouble
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Me when one of my shoes is slightly more loose than the other so I have to keep tying it again and again and again until they both are the same because they need to both be tight enough but also not too tight because otherwise I can't go anywhere because it will bother me too much and I will want to rip out my hair and explode on the spot and even once I'm semi satisfied I feel completely irritated
#ramblings#rambles#me when#anyone else?#silly things#idk how to tag this#idk man#idk what im doing#can't sleep#anyone relate?#pls help#pls pls pls#meow meow#idk anymore#shoes#feel free to discuss#discussion#share your thoughts
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I'm so fucking tired I already think the holidays are Bad why does everything around me make them Worse
#just. i just want it to stop#i just want to not feel constantly bad#im always either too tired too angry or too sad and im. struggling#i truly wish that killing myself was an option. i know it's not. it hasn't been for a while but I'm so tired i wish it was still#in the last. idk l. 3 to 4 months I've cried at least at much as I've done in the last decade i don't have energy for. a lot of stuff#i just wish things were idk if easier i just wish there were less shit to worry about#i truly wish i could just die. id just add way to many burdens and issues for others that i know i can't do that to anyone#. but i wish i just could. i don't want to deal with anything anymore#... idk it's 2 am and stuff keeps happening no matter how much i try to. just be at least a bit okay i fucking can't#I've been relapsing which like i know it's bad and doesn't help but crying didn't make me feel better either#i truly just. feel or of options at my current state of existing#and trying to find a different one. it's not host complicated. doesn't feel possible. idk#idek what I'm saying anymore#.. it's a post ill be surprised if i don't end up deleting them#it. whatever.#my posts#bc every one in a while if i feel too much like shit i check other times i felt like shit#bc what the fuck is this tag if not me being patheticly sad
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Hello
I live
I’m willing to bet money on yhe fact that you don’t know me
#hazbin hotel michael#hazbin hotel#i live#hazbin oc#send help#this is my first post#spirit talks about stuff she ain't educated to talk about#i am alive#chaotic thing that talks#idk what to tag anymore#i just want to tag#byee#heh
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