a idea- mainly Bruce
I like the idea of Bruce being really weird and random at the most surprising times just to mess with people and Damian, Dick and every other kid sadly got that trait too.
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Damian: as a child of divorce-
Talia: me and my beloved is not divorced.
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Clark: Bruce why didn't you say anything about them?!
Bruce: What they look at me first it's not my fault I'm a snack
Clark: Bruce you have kids.
Bruce: A Dilf snack
Clark: No!
Bruce: Listen as the hottest one here-
Hal: What you not that hot-
Bruce: AS THE MOST SCRUMPTIOUS SNACK HERE!
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I swear all his kids got this trait from him, they watched and learned from the best so they all do it too
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Jason: one time I got stuck in a hole for months
Roy: A hole why'd you get stuck-
Jason: I kinda like....died so yeah kinda got stuck in a hole for months I'm lucky they didn't cremate me.
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Dick: if Damian ever had a date I'd kill them
Wally: Dick you can't just kill someone because-
Dick: if anyone lays a hand on my baby brother they are dead.
Wally: I thought bats don't-
Dick: I'm not a bat I'm a big brother first.
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Tim: why did my camera break? It lasted two years falling off fire escapes and getting shot at but it died when I knocked it off my desk...why did it have to leave me in this cold cold world...
Steph: are you sure he was only supposed to take 2 pills?
Cass: *shrugs*
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Edit: thank you @tetranationaltortoise for pointing out that the Red Spot is on Jupiter instead of Saturn! Fixed it! You’re not nickpicking, you’re providing very appreciated constructive criticism (and a basic fact check I should have done lol) <3
Danny, as usual, hadn’t meant to become the local cryptid. Local being extremely relative, as his locality in this instance is… space.
He just wanted to have some relaxation time. He just wanted to do some homework, chill on Mars or something, and then call it a day.
This hero business was taxing and Danny took his breaks when he could. Take that, work-life balance! Just kidding, Danny had no work-life balance. His life is a mess and he's overworked.
What was it that Superman had said in that one interview?
“Evil never sleeps."
Apparently, that also meant Danny never slept either.
“Hrk!” Danny snorted awake, looking around wildly at the vast expanse of space to see what woke him.
….
Yeah, that’ll do it.
In front of him, merrily floating through space, is the battered remains of what used to be an asteroid and a mecha that’s a weird combination of Gotham’s vigilante hero, Batman, and Metropolis’ Golden Boy, Superman.
The vibrations of the collision had shaken Danny awake.
Danny got up, baffled as hell and half asleep still. He floated to the giant Bat insignia tumbling around, inching closer as he saw the- oh hell, that’s so cool, it’s a plane!- cockpit and the passed out hero inside of it. Danny clicked his tongue, the sound swallowed by the lack of air.
He shoved the plane closer to earth, passing it to a bewildered (and both beat up and stressed out) Superman, who did a double take at the glowing green boy chucking him the Toy-maker Batplane.
Danny had waved, blinked out of visibility, and had gone back to his nap.
After phasing inside the plane and nabbing a batarang from Batman’s pouch, that is. Danny will consider it payment for the clean up service he’d unwittingly signed himself up for.
And so went the first encounter.
——
The second time he met the so called Big Leagues, Danny had just come back from fighting Dan. He wanted a break, dammit, and if staring at Saturn’s gorgeous rings and gaseous formations helped him sleep better, then that’s what’s going to happen.
Then, a similarly green glowing Green Lantern “landed” to where he was floating curled up. Danny knew about Lanterns. Their council often tried to meddle in his court.
“Hello,” the Ring projected its Lantern’s words to Danny’s head. Danny tilted his head without looking at the Lantern. “I’m John Stewart. What are you doing out here, kid?”
Danny thought this guy had a nice, soothing voice. Powerful, as Latern tended to be, but infinitely kind.
Danny decided that this one wasn’t immediately on his shit list.
“Phantom.” He said, and the Lantern asked him to repeat it as the glow of his ring enveloped the halfa.
“Phantom. Are you lost, Phantom?”
“No, just dead.”
John Stewart paused. “…Dead?”
“I’m a ghost,” Danny raised his hands and phased it through the Lantern’s arm.
“Ah,” the man said, flustered. “Right. So… you’re just…”
“Hanging out.” As he talked to the Lantern, Danny had a rather amusing idea. He rotated himself- turned- towards Jupiter and pointed to the Red Spot. “That’s actually my grave.”
John Stewart paused. “I’m sorry…?”
“My grave. Don’t disturb it. It’s rude,” Danny lied through his sharp ghost teeth. “Your council disturbed my grave the last time they stopped by and it took ages to get it back right.”
The green Lantern shield enveloping Danny flickered as John Stewart went through the five stages of grief. To be fair, the council had last visited this solar system... a couple thousand years ago, so John was no doubt rapidly doing some mental math regarding Danny's age.
“The council disturbed your grave…?”
“Not that they knew it, those pretentious weirdos.” Danny pretended to be offended, just to see the struggle on John’s face as he debated defending the council or telling a dead child their grave didn’t matter. Because Stewart was a hero, he went with the latter.
“I see. I am sorry, on their behalf.”
“Eh, whatever. Just make sure they don’t do it again. So… what can that ring do?”
——
"Hi. Could you not litter in space, please?"
Wonder Woman whirled around, sword out and pointed at Danny.
"A... child? Who are you, child?"
"I'm not a child-! You know what, it doesn't even matter. See that?" Danny waved at the pieces of shattered meteor and smashed up alien tech floating outside of the watch tower. "Littering is not cool."
"How did you get in here?"
"I'm Phantom. This is kind of my neighborhood." Danny let his mouth run, sleep deprived and exhausted. "I'm dead, that's how I got in here. Could you not litter in my backyard, please?"
He had better things to do than cleaning after full grown adult heroes.
"Oh, you are the ghost child Lantern mentioned! I see! My apologies, the clean up will be starting in a bit." Wonder Woman slid her sword back into its sheath.
"Great. Nice meeting you. I'll stick around to make sure you young whipper snappers clean up properly."
With that, Danny sunk into the floor. After a moment's deliberation, he decided to take a nap in the floor vent.
——
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Danny jolted awake once more. Ancients, like mentor, like mentee. Robin stared at him, awkwardly wriggling through the floor vents.
"I'm taking a nap here," Danny grumbled. "What are you doing in the vents?"
"Me? What are you doing in the vents? I'm allowed in here!"
"Wonder Woman knows I'm here," Danny replied. She knows... probably? "I'm Phantom."
"Robin."
"So... what are you doing?"
"Knowledge is power," Robin intoned, clearly imitating the Bat.
Danny stared.
"... You're stalking the JL?"
"Information gathering!"
"Stalking," Danny concluded, ignoring Robin's grumble. "Yeah, okay. If you need help, let me know, I guess."
"I don't need help." Robin paused, tilting his head to the side like a particularly curious bird. "Unless you're up for some pranks? Green Lantern's been getting on my nerves lately."
Danny frowned at him. "I like John Stewart."
"You've met- no, not him, the other one."
"Oh. What do I get out of it?"
Robin reached into his belt pouch and pulled out... a bag of marshmallows? How the hell did that-? Ah, right, hammerspace.
"Oh, wait, can you eat this?"
"I'm dead, not tasteless. I love marshmallows, hand it over. I'll help out."
"Deal."
——
"I swear to god, Spooky, there's something in the walls. It's even creepier than you!"
Batman grunted. He'd stop Robin if he went too far and it started affecting Lantern's abilities on the field, but as far as the Dark Knight was concerned, the Green Lantern had it coming. Robins were vindictive on a good day. If Hal hadn't learned that from Dick, then Jason's retaliation was well deserved.
"Oh, maybe it's the ghost!" Hal said, looking around with his ring glowing.
"I thought John said he was a godling?" Diana polished her sword as she looked on in amusement.
"The boy." Batman grunted. "Not human, his pointed ears and green skin is proof of that. Did J'onn say anything?"
"Not yet."
"Whatever he is, he saved Batman. He's welcome in the Tower," Superman tilted back as his hearing picked up on Robin's and Phantom's snickering.
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