#glorified disability

[shiningstarr15]

‼️warning: the post I’m about to make has heavy topics pertaining to mental illness and disability. Please view at your own discretion‼️

I want to come on here to talk about something that I don’t feel gets talked about enough. And that is mainly thanks to social media that has advocated to the understanding of mental illness and disability to the point that it is immensely glorified. And while I would rather choose the lesser of the two evils than deal with the ableism and discrimination, I think it needs to be addressed on why glorifying it is also very problematic.

As you know by now, I am on the autism spectrum, and with this came a slew of other mental health conditions that I have suffered from for a long time such as anxiety and depression. One thing I would never want to do is beg for pity. I am still a functioning human being and do not wish to be treated as a charity case. However, I think it is important to showcase the darker side of being diagnosed with such a condition as Autism.

What you see, you may see awkward social interaction, you may see unusual movements of my arms and legs and even my whole body(stimming), you may see high emotional sensitivity, you may see aversion to loud sounds, and so forth. And these are things that, in of itself, are not inherently bad. Yes I am prone to accidental inappropriate social interaction, but there is ways of accommodating and advocating for it while still holding me accountable. Gentle approaches and positive reinforcement go such a long way. And the more people learn and accept that, the better quality of life you make for me and my community.

What you don’t see, is the struggles that come with it.

Being autistic comes with many many processing issues. Auditory, sensory, information, visual, cognitive, etc. And like the disorder itself, they all live on a spectrum and affect us all differently. One of these things that we struggle with due to this processing issue, and the one we usually get the most abuse from, is personal hygiene.

I took a shower tonight, which is something I struggle with due to the task of having to wash myself, having sensory issues such as too strong of smelling soap and the water temperature not being right, but also the transition from being wet to cold is something I hate. I hate drying myself and the water from my hair dripping down my back. I don’t like water on my face. The entire thing is an absolute hellscape.

But it needs to be done, so I got in. And I noticed that my hair felt heavier than usual. After shampoo and conditioner, I ran my fingers through my insanely thick and long locks. And.. it got stuck.

With conditioner, it was stuck.

That is how bad the tangles were. As a result of having not brushed it for weeks. Yes, weeks.

Over the course of the shower, I pulled out probably a dozen knots, all around this size..

I’m tender headed, brushing my hair hurts my neck and my arms. So I wear hats to cover it, it also helps as an impromptu noise buffer so it’s a win win in the moment. However, it just adds on to the ever growing tangles and become more and more prominent until I actually do something about it.

This is something in it of itself, I’ve grown used to.

But as I ran through the tangles, yanking out knot after knot, the hair piled in the drain.

When I looked down and saw the result, I couldn’t believe how much hair was caught in the absolute rats nest that had accumulated for weeks.

And I cried.

I still have plentiful hair, but I didn’t want to lose that much. I hadn’t even realized it had gotten so bad. As I got out I immediately noticed the lightness on my head and panicked, thinking I may have a bald spot (I don’t) bc so much was gone now..

I may be used to it, but I hate it still. Every time. But it happens over and over again, bc I hate brushing my hair.

This.. this is the true dark reality of living with Autism.

I love my hair, and me not liking to brush it does not mean I don’t care. It is a physically daunting task, it fucking HURTS, and it sucks bc I KNOW it’s not supposed to!

Everyday I wake up, the lights are too bright and I can hear every sound like a siren. It takes excess energy just to get out of bed, even more to change clothes, and if I am lucky, even more to brush my hair. I have 30 min to decide before I get to work what my support needs are today bc they change DAILY. Some days I have enormous amounts of anxiety, some days I have sensory overstimulation, some days I feel literally touch starved, some days I can’t find the right words to say, or barely want to say anything. I have to figure out what I need, what will get me through the day, what will allow me to survive. And even now, I am struggling to find my place in the workforce due to the lack of resources and currently on the verge of autistic burnout that I’m desperately trying to avoid.

Every time I brush my hair, there are knots. And when I brush my teeth, there is blood in the sink.

This is my reality.

I am imploring you to PLEASE consider these things when you say things about how hating autism is “internalized ableism” or glorify it to the point that it becomes a trend that everyone wants to have bc it’s “cool.” I do NOT like being autistic. It has caused me immense heartache, trauma, struggle, and being in constant survival mode. It FUCKING SUCKS.

I have accepted that I am autistic. But I do not enjoy it. It is still, in its own right, a DISABILITY. It is not something to be glorified and praised. It is not something that is “trendy” and something you WANT to have.

Wanting answers is one thing, I understand that. That’s how I got my diagnosis. But I am begging and pleading, DO NOT ASK FOR IT. If you have it, learn to accept what is and learn what you need to do in order to live your best quality of life. It is not something to be taken as a joke, it is not a “gift” and it is not a trend.

It is a disability. It is a disorder. A brain disorder. A processing disorder. And it fucking sucks.

[aggro-my-beloved]

yeah non-hetero redacted characters are cool and everything but…

autistic!david?!?

adhd!asher?

chronicpain!milo??

deaf/hoh!huxley?!

ocd!lasko???

bipolar!damien?

schizophrenic!gavin?!

it’s pride disability month for crying out loud, don’t let the inclusivity stop at sexuality!

[lunathewafflelord]

when you realize that every single character you’ve ever written and probably ever will write shows just about every sign of autism and you didn’t even write them with that in mind

[cryptid-writer]

The ada just triggered his fight or flight response

And chuuya is a flightless bird >:)

[6ebe]

trying to get a job with disabilities is so hard bc everywhere wants to say they’re ‘disability friendly employers’ but that means they’ll give you ‘reasonable accommodations’ once you’re already through the door. It’s not considered in hiring practises. like not even interviewing people with disabilities bc they don’t have an internship is such a hilarious manifestation of ableism bc like. the reason I didn’t do an internship was bc of my disability ..

[anendtopursuit]

i don't often describe things as mid but i must confess there's a shop on my way home from college that sells the most mid boba i've ever tasted

[wheresernie]

Anyone got any writing prompts? I need to start writing again, even if it's bad

[ladentity]

It’s me I can’t write and struggle to tie my shoelaces.

im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we'll never get anything done around here

[renthony]

Too many leftists are still glorifying work for work's sake. Too many leftists have equated "performing labor" with "moral fortitude."

If your ideal society has no place for people who genuinely, fully, 100% do not want to work, or who can't work, your ideal society is not as ideal as you think. There has to be space for people who don't "contribute," there has to be space for people who don't fulfill some greater "purpose," there has to be space for people who cannot and will not ever be a part of the labor force.

I am a firm believer that laziness does not exist, and if someone is flat-out refusing to do something, there's a good reason for it. That reason could be disability, it could be fear, it could be a lack of education, it could be that they're confused or lost and don't fully understand what they're supposed to do, it could be that they don't have the skills, it could be that they're at their limit and need a break, it could be that the task is uninteresting or not relatable to them and they don't understand why it's necessary, it could be countless other reasons. "They're just lazy" is a cruel assumption that doesn't solve any problems or accomplish any tasks.

But even if I'm wrong, and laziness is real, you can't penalize "laziness" without hitting a lot of disabled or otherwise vulnerable people in the crossfire. You cannot and will not ever create a society in which everyone is a perfect worker. There has to be a way for someone to contribute absolutely nothing to the labor force, but still be taken care of instead of left to needlessly suffer.

[euniexenoblade]

Sex as an act is only ever glorified by society when said sex is cis straight white abled etc. Gay people, trans people, poc, the disabled, women, get their sex lives mocked, made illegal, banned from literature and cinema, you can literally get killed for being one of these things and expressing a sexuality. At the same time, rape is used as a punishment for existing as these things, weaponizing sex against us. This is similarly why ace people are treated like shit, abstaining from this is treated as a nasty aberration worthy of mockery and corrective rape. Things like "public" sex laws in the USA don't exist for some betterment of mankind, they existed as a way to arrest the gays having sex in a hotel room, they exist to harass the homeless who have no private spaces, they exist to harass trans people for simply existing. It's important to remember when talking about the act of sex, yes society pushes having sex as this important thing you should be doing, but only for men having sex as defined by Christian conservatives.

[rainbowgothdisaster]

apparently no one liked how the cops were treating nana but didnt know how to tell the 3 able bodied 6'0" men with guns to not laugh at the mentally ill 62 yr old who was trying to fight them

fucking hate cops.

[tuesziday]

I wish there was more discussion on the standards people hold art to (and potentially how that relates to capitalism and commodification).

Proponents of AI art makes it seem like a tragedy that some people are unable to draw like SamDoesArt. As much as I enjoy his art style, why is he the benchmark of what constitutes good art? Why do they think pretty anime Disney girls are what everyone should be trying to strive for? Is there no value in a sloppy cartoon drawing? Or something completely abstract? A stick figure?

And why must we assign moral value to being physically capable of doing things? Why is not being able to draw seen as a shortcoming? I'm godawful at sports, but I have no interest in using prosthetics that make me the next Babe Ruth because I've accepted that I'm not an athlete. It's one thing if you desperately want to be an artist...but a lot of AI art people genuinely seem like they wouldn't be interested in art if they couldn't just type up a prompt and receive instant gratification.

ai art is really giving some people a chance to go full-bore on some of the most ostentatious and vitriolic ableism i've ever seen

[blackfilmmakers]

Hello! I was wondering if it was Okay to ask for some tips on how to write a black horror antagonist respectfully? I’m a horror author and I realized that my horror villains are not very diverse, but I’m afraid of falling into stereotypes.

Things to consider when making a Black Horror Antagonist:

-Who is the protagonist in relation to this Black antagonist? Is it a White kid? A group of people with fairer skin compared to the Black antagonist? If you aim to make diverse stories, you can't just make the antagonists poc and call it a day. Society already use the narrative that Black ppl are out to terrorize White neighborhoods with malicious intent, to justify killing us. Birth of a Nation glorified the Klan so well(cinema-wise) it literally brought back the Klan. We also have this ongoing rise of anti-Haitian crimes(AntiBlackness overall) because some White woman wanted to make a meme of Haitians eating cats

-If they are a magical antagonist, is the magic they used based on Black or Brown cultures that are already demonized enough? The recent rise of anti-haitian propaganda does stem from the stereotype that Haitians practice cannibalism for their "satanic" ritualsm. Which the word, "cannibal" was a slur that refers to islanders apparently. Anyways you can have your magical Black antagonist, but if they start writing in vodun symbols and wear feather headdresses, reconsider that it's just "if it's a vague Black/Brown religion it's automatically scary"

-What is their personality like? Are they cunning and creative and clever? Or are they a simple-minded beast? In The Promised Neverland we see two caretakers(they are antagonists): Isabella and Krone. Isabella is a fair-skinned woman who is presented as intelligent and cunning with her villainy. Whereas Krone's villainy depicts her as a monstrous beast. We already have enough Black antagonists that are essentially the main villain's attack dog, with very little focus on their motivations. If you wanted to write about a monster/beast that has no intelligence you could always write that instead. But if you have a Black human being, well humans can be written in so many different ways, do use that opportunity

-Consider whether or not your Black Horror antagonists are ableist narratives. Ableism is already a problem in horror stories already. But when it comes to Black neurodivergent/disabled people, you have to be extra careful with that. Sonya Massey's disability (and aave) made those cops murder her because at the end of the day, she's a Black woman they didn't bother to hear out, and needed an excuse to shoot her. What you write as a "scary" trait for your Black antagonist, could support ableist narratives that disabilities/neurodivergency are inherently dangerous

-Colorism can be an issue here as well. Even if you do have a Black protagonist, are they someone who is lighter than the villain? Dark=/=Inherently Bad, and Light=/=Inherently Good

-Horror is all about exploring a fear (societal or individual). So this is when you have to ask yourself, what do you fear? What do you think your readers' fears are when they read about this Black villain character? You can't control your readers' perception, sure, but fiction doesn't exist in a vacuum. It can challenge societal expectations or support them. So with all the points I listed down above and whatever points I didn't say, this could all attribute to the "horrors" or the "thing you need to fear" in the story. Do your readers find the Black antagonist scary because they are a well written antagonist with proper motivations? Or are they conditioned to see Black people as scary?

-In terms of how these characters speak or their motivations, that I have to advise getting several Black beta readers(that aren't just your friends) to have review your work. If your character is a disabled Black person, get a disabled Black reader. If they are Jamaican character, get a Jamaican reader. Hell, ask these readers if they even find your Black villain intimidating or compelling.

All in all, if you write about a Black character you really need to write them as you do for your White characters. The problem I think most nonblack writers have with this advice though is that they read that as "write Black characters as White(the default)". That won't work. You always have to consider a Black character's Blackness and how that interacts with the world you created

@/writingwithcolor and @/creatingblackcharacters would probably have more input

TLDR: Make the final girl a darkskinned Black woman

[asses-to-ashes]

Pedophiles don't belong in the proship community. Zoophiles don't belong in the furry community. Can we stop conflating these communities.

If you're recovering from a paraphilic disorder, great! Can't afford a psychologist but are anti-contact and anti-enabling? Also great! I wish you the best.

My problem comes from the normalization and celebration of paraphilic disorders on this site specifically under the disguise of disability or queer activism. A psychologist will NEVER, EVER recommend that you post about it or engage in an online community of enablers. Paraphilic disorders are not kink. Embracing paraphilic disorders is not disability activism.

You can be anti-contact and anti-enabling without being hateful or making assumptions about people who have a disorder, but people who run Para Blogs are not anti-enabling. The ProPara community has turned into a cesspool of enablers and legitimate pro-contact pedophiles who hide behind the fact that people have empathy for those with disorders they can't control. They've created a space where people brag about being pedophiles and celebrate attraction to children. This is the opposite of how the disorder is treated by professionals.

Stay away from fiction & communities that could cause you to relapse or backslide. Proshippers are not attracted to minors, our stories don't exist for pedophiles to displace their attraction onto.

The reasons paraphilic disorders are different from fetishes is because:

1. They include unwilling people or people who cannot consent, such as voyeurism or pedophilia

2. They cause the participant or others harm that is potentially lifelong

3. They prevent a person from functioning or adjusting in society

I'm going to address a post I saw earlier. EXTREME TW for the defense of pro-contact "big 3" paraphilias

START QUOTE --------------------

END QUOTE --------------------

Being gay harms nobody. It is an attraction between two consenting adults.

PARAPHILIC DISORDERS are not normal attraction. Comparing being a pedophile to being homosexual is not the #WOKE PEDOPHILE WIN that you think it is. It's insanely regressive and harmful.

To reiterate, you are not evil for having a paraphilic disorder.

You are not a bad person. You are a bad person for glorifying it, enabling yourself and others, fighting for your right to harm other people without consent, and engaging in an online community of pedophiles.

[spacerockfloater]

Every time Team Black stans talk about Rhaenyra’s bastards and the Dragon Twins as if they’re blessings upon this earth, an angel loses its wings.

Like, okay. They’re children, I’m excusing all of them up to a certain point. But they’re some of the most vicious, aggressive, cowardly, snotty brats we’ve ever seen in this franchise and pretending that they’re not is so foul.

Lucerys is a hypocritical twat that bullied the boy he grew up with because he didn’t have a dragon, but then he’s totally okay hanging out with Rhaena who doesn’t have one either. And then he pulls out a knife and blinds Aemond for no fucking reason, after his gang attacked him first, and faces zero consequences for his actions. He eventually grows up to become an even worse person by literally laughing in his cousin’s face, whom he disabled. And then he tries to boss lord Borros around by telling him that he’s obligated to ally with Rhaenyra even if there isn’t anything in him for it.

Jacaerys is also very two faced for the exact same reasons as Lucerys, with the addition of having anger management issues. Like, remember how he beats the living shit out of his little brother when they’re training at the beach, kicks him to the ground and grabs him by the throat because he is upset their uncles are better warriors than them? That’s the good future king you’re all talking about? He is already obsessed with the idea of becoming king, to the point that his own mother has to remind him that she’s actually alive and well and he would have to wait a good fucking while before his dreams come true. That’s actually so sick on his behalf. Not to mention that he very likely married Sara Snow, betraying his fiancée, in order to gain the Starks’ help, which is very dishonourable. At least Lucerys told Borros he’s betrothed and refused to marry one of his daughters to get his support, I’ll give him that.

Baela is a deranged evil girl who was ready to throw hands on sight, too. And have we forgotten that she becomes a drunkard and whoremonger who spends her money gambling in the rat pits, the places where children fight one another in King’s Landing, once she grows up, or is it wrong only when Aegon II does it?

Rhaena is an aggressive coward who seems more preoccupied with the acquisition of a dragon than her mother’s death. She didn’t have the guts to go and claim Vhagar, but she feels powerful enough to confront Aemond when she has three people backing her up.

Finally, even without taking all of their problematic traits into account, these people are so severely uninteresting and unimpressive. Lucerys does not convince Borros to side with his mother and drops dead like a fly. Joffrey gets shrugged off by Syrax and plummets to his demise. Jacaerys is immediately killed during his embarrassing attempt to fight the Triarchy, not to mention that he was the reason his youngest half siblings were captured and nearly killed because he had the brilliant idea of sending them away. Baela loses the only dragon fight she was ever part of to Aegon II and Sunfyre who were very injured by a previous fight already! And Rhaena is just… there. Doing nothing. Never avenging her husband’s death, eventually marrying a Hightower. Yikes.

Are there much more ill behaved children in ASOIAF? Yeah, for sure, but we actually acknowledge that children like Aegon II and Joffrey Baratheon are pieces of shit. But if we could like, stop glorifying these four mediocre and borderline malicious kids solely because some of you feel the need to ride the dicks of everyone who is part of Rhaenyra’s crew, that would be great. They might be children, but they’re children with shady, putting it mildly, personalities, wielding new-clear weapons of mass destruction who actively participated in a war, especially Jacaerys and Baela. They sure were victims of the world they were raised in, but they were aggressors as well. And like, this is the ASOIAF universe, nearly all of our protagonists are children. We can’t constantly apply modern day morals and coddle them forever because “OMG, they are just babies!”, unless we are ready to apply the same logic on the Targtowers, who were basically the same age as Rhaenyra and Daemon’s children.

[charlybvnny]

Michael's final moment

A Michael_Beloved animatic about his final moments, because he is an underappreciated character, and has so much potential.

A ramble about him under cut.

TWs:

- bugs

- bones

- talk of death and decay

- I think there is a slight flash but I'm unsure? So flashing warning just in case

michael is an underated npc / character and people should utilise his dynamic more often. i will explain:

he's stuck, he has nothing to do, nothing he can do. because he's an npc, his life will never begin because he's not living. people overlook him and don't pay him mind, his own parents don't pay attention to him. it's not that they don't love him, they do, they just don't have the time nor ability to look after him, atleast not properly.

people treat him more like a glorified pet because he is still an npc, no one should, realistically, love him like a son, at most he is a pet. but he's one of, if not the only, npc on the dsmp that is canonically considered a son, not a pet. shroud is technically a pet, yoghurt is i think considered fundy's son? but if you check on the wiki, michael is the only one of actual listing and not just an addition of another. michael is his own person, and yet is still an npc. he can't do anything, and yet is his own someone. he is someone, not someone's addition. he's not tubbo's son, or ranboo's son, he is michael.

and yet he's still stuck in his room. still stuck having to go along with other people's wills. because he is code. he can't do anything but follow his code.

and so with the charactarization of michael, making him his own person, it allows him the ability to think, yet not do. "i think therefore i am" and yet he can't think. not actually. he still has to follow his code. if you hit him, he must attack back, its in the code. so you can characterize and personalise michael all you want, give him hopes, and dreams, give him depth, but in the end, he is an npc. he can't leave his room, he can't make friends, he can't go explore. he is stuck in his room. just like how rapunzel is stuck in the tower.

in this essay i will explain why michael's song is "when will my life begin"-

[shots fired i bleed out as someone drags my body away]

Ok but in actuality, the rotting aspect of Michael is so great for potential in fics;

michael can be used in fics and i'm heartbroken people don't. see, michael is a zombie piglin, he is quite literally rotting. he is a sick, dying child of neglect and no one uses this to their advantage. do no fic writers see the potential devestating catastrophe of michael? how angsty it could be if he's used right?

I like Michael, can you tell 🥺

And you don't even need him to be a piglin in fics either, he could be a dying plant, or an injured yet beloved pet. He has potential please people listen to me 😭🙏

You can make him disability rep, please I love disabled characters in fics (if done right) and there's so much potential here.

I was messaging my friends while making this too, and I was shattering their very souls with my angst, and the thing is, you can shatter your friend's souls with angst too! Please use Michael, even if he's just a side character in your fic, if you got Tubbo, or Ranboo, please include Michael in some form, like a melted candle, or a torn doodle.

Anyways continuing on with angst!

They say the eyes are the route to the soul, and I like to think piglins only die when their souls are damaged. Only when their light fades.

Michael's usually twinkling eyes, now dull and a sullen blue, holding nothing but pure sorrow, and childish hope now shattered. His parents aren't coming. No one is coming. He's going to die alone. He's going to die, without embracing his parents one last time.

His body so decayed and rotten his ribs are fully out, spiders finding a new home where his once beating heart of love was, and yet he allows them to stay, allowing the bugs to feast on his carcass, because it's something. It's another being simply touching him. And so he lets the bugs eat his dying self, because at least it's something, a distressing comfort to accompany his final moments.

He's not alone. Not yet. It's fine. He's not alone. He won't die alone.. he thinks with his last thoughts, salty tears prickling his eye as he tries to comfort himself, just as his parents would if they were here.

I hope you cry, I hope you sob, I hope those silvery drops of sorrow prick your eyes and roll down your cheeks. If you are angry at me, perhaps you should scream into the bottomless pit of my soul, maybe a shard of guilt might scream back one day. Today's not the day though.